X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

07/16/2008: X-E’s ‘08 Summer Megaparty: Gazzler!

Since I seem to have disgusted a great many of you with yesterday’s entry on the Bullshot, tonight I’ll stick to something that everybody loves: Bubbles!

Course, saying that “everybody loves bubbles” is a clear invitation for some smarmy prick to post a comment about how he or she hates them. If that happens, tomorrow’s post is about the Karen Ross Congo figure.

From Funrise’s Gazillion Bubbles collection, meet GAZZLER! As I understand it, Gazzler is a three-eyed mutant lizard dog who exists solely for the purpose of spitting hundreds of bubbles at speeds that exceed all human comprehension. And as if the traits listed in the previous sentence didn’t make Gazzler impressive enough, note that he’s been inhumanly stitched onto a gun, transforming him from a bubble-spitting mutant to a bubble-spitting mutant that you can shoot!

It’s tough to imagine the path of action that brought Gazzlers into production, but I’m glad they’re here. Bubbles should be fun for everyone, but there’s no denying the female-targeted stigma they hold once the wand-wielder gets beyond age five. Guys need bubble fun too, and nothing makes bubbles more acceptable for men than a three-eyed mutant lizard dog who throws them up at top speeds.

Gazzler performs his task well, though the velocity at which he hurls his bubbles means that the fragile orbs only get to live for a second or two before popping from the pressure. On the flipside, it’s obvious that Gazzler’s secret purpose is to allow small children to beam other small children in the face with lots and lots of bubbles. For those ends, he’s an amazing achievement in mutant lizard dog bubble-shooting technology.

Whereas most mutant lizard dogs live and breathe through the magic of accursed ichor, Gazzler just needs a couple of “AA” batteries. I’m also just now realizing that if you don’t provide Gazzler with his included stock of bubble liquid, he makes an absolutely amazing portable fan. I’m sitting here all refreshed, with a face full of nice, buzzing Gazzler throat air. This is the highlight of my day and I’m not afraid to admit it.

I made a sucky YouTube video of Gazzler in action, because I know you’re having a tough time believing that there’s a mass-produced series of three-eyed, bubble-blowing mutant lizard dogs. In terms of proof, visual aids are always effective.

In closing, Bullshots are awesome and everyone should drink spiked beef stock.

I can’t stand bubbles. Must be from being forced to eat them when I was a child.

And screw it I’m a girl, but the appeal of the mutant lizard dog and his guzzling skills, well I can’t even put it into words….if I could go back in time I’d take that mutant-lizard-dog-bubble-guzzling-ass-kicking gun over the delicate wand any day of the week (I wonder if that means I’d come back in the future as a lesbian….)

Wow, could this look anything more like the creepy creature I just made on Spore?

Holy crap! With this and a Super Soaker, you could rule the world like Dr. Doom.

You could actually shoot an actual “Bubblebeam” at people. Take that, Fake Wartortle. We know you’re just a squirrel with a fake turtle shell on you.

I want one of those immediately! Also bubbles rock. That’s not up for discussion! =)

I was going to say I hated bubbles, you know just to be a smarmy prick and everything.
But after seeing him in action I don’t think I can, where do you get those wonderful toys??

I really hope random people stumble upon that video on youtube. It would be a purely what-the-fuck moment for them, for sure.

Her devotion to Charles was admirable, but her standing up to his father was heroic.

Being a nerd, I read popular science. It was there that I first discovered Zububbles. Part of the “best inventions” something deal, they had a multi-page article on how this guy made colored bubbles. It actually took two guys and a number of years for them to finally get it. You can read the article here http://www.popsci.com/scitech/...e-disappearing-colored-bubbles
After all that effort, I decided I had to have some. Black bubbles - come on. “Summer, ‘07″ the website said. It’s a year later, and nothing. It’s like, “here’s pure childhood fun, we don’t know when you can have it.” http://www.zubbles.com/

That gif had a really weird sexual rythem to it. Made reading the post a little difficult.

I love bubbles, especially when they issue forth from something as cool as that but…could we still have the Karen Ross Congo action figure review?

(Wow, I need to watch that again…Haven’t had my annual summer viewing of Lilo and Stitch yet).

This is totally off tangent, but I’m considering blowing part of my first paycheck on Pokemon Diamond (or Pearl…). I haven’t played a Pokemon game since Yellow. Is it really that fun? How many hours can I expect in the main game?

CameronT. GET POKEMON DIAMOND OR PEARL! The main quest will take you a while to complete, and even when yur done there’s still some cool sode stuff to do. But that’s not the real reason you should get it. The REAL reason you should get it is because there’s ENDLESS replay value online! Plus the battle system is BETTER THAN EVER! You have to put alot of strategy into building yur teams. Picking the right types, teaching them the right moves etc.. , just get it.=) If you do , then we can battle. I’m a HUGE fan of the Poke games. The regular ones anyway.

Last I checked I had 212 hours, but like how am I supposed to factor out trading and breeding time :O

Bill, I was just about to say that. I’m glad I’m not the only one that was somewhat uncomfortable watching that. Wow, I wouldn’t have taken Gazzler for a squirter.

Oh, I meant to mention that thanks to our recent trip into the Congo, it’s now at the top of my Netflix queue. Apparently it’s a lost gem that I must see again, according to you folks. I didn’t remember all that awesomeness lo those many years ago the first time I saw it.

Karen Ross is awesome… did she also have a shoulder cannon? You’re re-awakened my love for Congo!

PS Bubbles are cool too.. but not as cool as monkeys that bash your head in with rocks!

I posted this in the last thread but think it might get missed, so here I go again. For those with love of the Robot/Galactic/Adventure Heroes/Super Hero Squad lines - Hasbro is releasing a Combat Heroes line of stylized GI Joe characters.

It’d probably break the thing, but it would be awesome to put touchabubble fluid in this and see what happened. BUBBLE BULLETS MIGHT BE A POSSIBILITY.

That thing is fantastic, and so are bubbles. My uncle used to inhale on his cigarettes then blow bubbles for me when I was a kid on Grandmas front porch. not only did they look fucking AWESOME, but when they touched down they’d make their landing spot smoke for a second like a ring of fire.

I would like to see a Karen Ross article. In fact I would love to see that as a theme to this summer megaparty. We should put that to a vote, like as if we suddenly magically earned the right to tell Matt what to do.

also, Cameron T. mentioned an anual summer watching of Lilo and Stitch. Does anyone else have crap they do to celebrate every summer?

Okay, Gazzler looks very cool. Sub-fortuitiously though, bubbles haven’t been a big thing around my house for a long while.

WELP, looks like were gettin some more Congo figures reviewed! =) I think someone is posein as a different poster on PURPOSE in order to taunt Matt in reviewing the Congo figures. Hmmmmmm.=/

How can anyone hate bubbles? Bubbles are awesome and if you don’t like them you obviously don’t have a soul.

I was really clumsy and always spilled most of my soapy solution before getting any really good bubbles going. This thing would have been cool to have. Maybe I’ll buy one for my sister.

Bubbles are pretty cool. But they’re so much better when they shoot out the mouth of mutant dinosaur, lizard thing.

Oh, and I someone mention getting Congo on Netflix…Geez, I have Netflix and didn’t think about that. I’ll have to add it to the queue later. I’ve never seen it and I don’t want to be out of the loop. At least no more than usual.

I gotta disagree with one point- I almost immediately envisioned the “path of action” that brought these to life. Someone remembered the nasty bubble blowing super heroes that opened at the neck that my mom would never let me have (I wanted Spider-Man), but
A) they had no licensing deals in place
B) kids these days are out of shape and all that exhaling through a straw is asking too much, so we’re on to battery power…

I was only a mediocre fan of bubbles as a kid…but now that I have a daughter of my own, I get to discover just how fun they can be. I don’t remember how we found out she liked bubbles (I think it was a wedding or something) but as soon as she could walk and talk she’d beg me to blow bubbles for her so she could pop them. She’d eventually get tired and want to blow bubbles herself. She always blew too hard, so I had to get her something almost the exact same as this, though it was more ‘gun’ themed rather than ‘mutant alien feral animals’ but she loved it, till it ran out of bubbles, and we found that it only worked with the original brand of bubbles, and that using a different brand had killed it forever

Bubbles are fun and finding something that can enhance that fun makes it even better. Also they are a GREAT distraction for kids!

Now that De-Bubbler mentioned it, Gazzler does look like a demented version of the blue lizard/dragon from Bubble Bobble/Bust-a-Move.

I feel awesome, I bought a fuckton of new clothes…several cute fancy tops and a pair of black slacks and 2 pairs of white sneakers that are backless and socks. Cost me 52 dollars for everything.

Mystie if you read this….see if there is a DOTS clothing store in your area! ASAP! Great plus size stuff usually under 20 bucks. It’s the real nice modern looking kind, not old lady ish or anything. They had some sweet dresses and skirts too.

Bubbles don’t turn me on like meaty drinks. Fleeting and inessential, they offend my proletariat sensibilities. Whereas a stiff vodka drink fortified by boiled muscle extract emboldens the spirit and prepares us for more of the necessary labor to sustain the community. Nazdrovya.

Do I need to have seen the last Batman to see this one? I just could never get past Katie Holmes and watch Batman Begins, but I really want to see this new movie. I’ve seen the Burton movies and read The Dark Knight returns, is that good enough?

That Barbie looks like a hooker. You know there are going to be some angry parents over this.

The Black Canary Barbie is nice, but nowhere near as nice as the 12″ Harley Quinn a friend of mine had (and, wisely, would not let me touch).

As for not seeing Batman Begins, squee4242, you should see it. It’s excellent, and Katie Holmes isn’t in it all that much. Christian Bale is great in the just-barely-sane style of Batman. That said, it’s not like you’ll be lost if you see the new one first. It’s Batman. You know what’s going on. The characters are a little different than other incarnations, but not different enough that you can’t follow it.

You shouldn’t need to see batman begins to enjoy the dark knight. But the first one is worth watching even with the Holmes included.. I wonder how the Gazzler would handle some bullshot? At least the color and consistancy would be correct.

Saying you hate bubbles is like saying you hate the sky; it just doesn’t make an iota of sense.

Did anyone ever see those “trick” bubbles? They look like your normal, run-of-the-mill bubbles but they consist of a thicker, stickier liquid so when they come into contact with something they just plant themselves there and don’t burst. If you pull them off your clothing they leave a mark (that’s not permanent). It’s pretty funny seeing everyone enjoying the bubbles only to have them become completely vexed a moment later when they’re sticking to their hair and clothes and making a sticky mess.

Broth, Matt, not stock. Stock is made from bones. Broth is made from meat. Spiked beef stock, if served over ice, would congeal due to the high gelatin content and become more or less a greasy beef fat flavored Jello shot. Now THAT would be something I’d like to see you try.

In my bubble-related euphoria I completely forgot the word “broth.” I knew “stock” wasn’t correct but didn’t expect many X-E readers to understand the sheer impossibility of what I was saying.

Wow, I had no idea what the difference between stock and broth was until now. See, X-E is educational.

I wouldn’t say that the Bullshot blog disgusted me, not at all. As a non drinker though I simply didn’t find any joy in that piece. But one out of sixteen for the summer so far is a great record. Thank you very much for all the fun.

Now if you don’t mind me asking Matt. Will the Halloween JukeBox be out before or after the Summer JukeBox, I’m starting to wonder?

Squee, I had the exact same reason for missing out on Batman Begins…Katie Holmes gives me the willies. But it’s so not a good reason to miss it. I just saw it last week in preparation for the new one and it was awesome. Michael Caine is worth the price of the rental alone. Katie isn’t in it enough to make you go EW too much, and (IMHO) her character is a total bitch so it’s okay to hate her even IN the context of the movie, haha.

Go, rent!

I love Bubbles, always have, always will, but… I guess I was expecting more from this guy. I had visions of him eternally blowing bubbles as soon as you pulled the trigger, and not stopping till you let go. Oh well… the way the wand dips down for more bubble juice reminds me of his tongue, so that’s pretty cool.

Did you HAVE to remind us throw-uppers in that last sentence/statement??? -_-; Gah!

Neg…I have to wait until the 25th for Dark Knight, so right now I’m watching you through very narrowed eyes!

On the plus side for us poor Brits, BK have re-issued their Spiderman 3 “Dark Whopper” as the Dark Knight “Dark Whopper”…pepperjack cheese, Black-Pepper Ketchup and Grill Sauce. Hells to the yes. There are only a few things in life more filled with smexy. ^_^

Guise - I must know what this Black Pepper Ketchup is, that you speak of! Those are my 2 favorite spices/condiments!

I won’t get to see TDK for a couple weeks, probably. It would be nice if before then, I could score a copy of Batman Begins, since I haven’t been able to find one that isn’t A. fullscreen B. 20 bucks.

Ryane - from the taste it is either a) cracked black pepper mixed in good quantity to add some real kick to the ketchup, b) the most kinkiest, rowdiest hotel stay involving two consenting adults pureed and slopped on to a burger.

I’m staying away from here till the end of the weekend. People are starting to talk about the Dark Knight as if they’ve seen it and if I get one sip of spoilers I’m going to go postal.

And Squee, get past Katie Holmes and watch Batman Begins because it’s an excellent movie.

Watching Begins again, tonight. I might see Hellboy II Saturday or Sunday morning.

What if there was a Karen Ross gun which shot thousands of Karen Ross figures at people? “The Karen Razzler”?

Oh, Guise, have I ever missed you

Thanks for the advice, guys. I actually recorded Begins off FX a couple weeks ago and started watching it but it got bumped when I ran out of space. I will watch it some time but if I have to see it before I watch the new one I’ll never get to it in time and would probably just end up seeing Indy again or something.

I have been pretty bubble obsessed since i was around 7 years old. I only slightly liked them up to that point, but in the summer of my 7th year, I went to science camp, and on one of the last days, we made huge bubbles. what we did was there was a kiddie pool filled with bubble-juice, and a kid stood in the center of it, and then we put a hula hoop around the kid and lifted it up so that the kid was encompassed by the bubble. i was so excited when it was my turn to be enveloped by a bubble, and it is one of my favorite bubble memories.

I just bought a Gazillion bubble machine for my dogs and they LOVE it. Now all you have to say is “get the bubbles” and they are running around like lunatics. Best $10 dog toy ever.

The only Batman fast food promotion I’ve seen is the “Gotham City” pizza from Papa Johns. It’s nothing more than a pepperoni pizza.

Just got back from seeing “Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D.” If you have never seen a 3D movie I recommend going to it just based on that. It’s very cool.

Oo! Never thought of Bubbles for mah dog!
Now we can BOTH be entertained by teh bubble-ness!
suh-weet.
And yo- that Black Canary Barbie is major hotness. I wants one madly.

We used to buy bubbles to let our cats play with…laser pointers are also fun with cats.

When I was in the hospital, my friends bought me a bubble gun. I used it to ambush my nurses and therapists.

Holmes isn’t that bad in Batman Begins, especially near the end…she’s smuggling raisins.

Ohhh Guise… You’ve taken my breath away with that description.

*has visions of a certain man she knows*

I can only pray that they sell this ambrosia somewhere, or at least have it in little packets that I could steal… *sigh* Because I know if I try to make it myself, as simple as it sounds, it would never come close. Not with that description.

Just thought I’d chime in that I saw “The Dark Knight” last night on a sneak preview, and that yes, it is indeed incredible and very very good. That is all.

I can’t wait to see “The Dark Knight” I unfortunately am not seeing it until Tuesday b/c I have to wait on people! I’m pumped though!

Oh man I got a funny story for ya’ll. My brother took a trip to Virginia a week ago, and he only intended to stay for a couple days, but had to stay well over a week because his car broke down on him. When he FINALLY got it fixed, he DESTROYED it big time in a HEAD ON collision, because he was goin down a one way street. I don’t know why he was going down a one way street, but he was. The crash caused all the airbags to come out all at once, except for the one in front of my sister in law. She got a concussion from her head slaming full force into the dashboard. All the doors were opened at once too from the impact, allowing their dog to escape into the woods. Then they all had to be taken to the hospital to get X-rayed to make sure they were all right. They’re fine(mostly), including the youngins. So long story short, their car is DESTROYED, their dog is gone, and my brother and my sister in law are pretty beat up. Now I obviously wouldn’t find this hysterical if they had been seriously injured, but since it was just the car that was destroyed, because their mistake of going down a one way street, I find it HILARIOUS! I can’t believe he did something that STUPID! I love my brother ,I really do, but sometimes I wonder about him. The kids are just fine, thanks to the seat belts. Which just goes to show you ALWAYS buckle up. So this is YET ANOTHER accident for my sister in law. Honestly she is a LIVING CARTOON CHARACTER! XD Hopefully you found this funny like me. It’s ok to laugh their OK!

Friendly warning to everyone seeing the Dark Knight to be wary of spoilers, even here!

I hate to nitpick but the “Gotham City Pizza” is from Dominos and Papa John’s is promoting the new Mummy movie. I also do not understand the connection between Gotham City and 50 % more pepporni on a slab of tomato slathered cardboard…must have a high rate of heart attacks in Gotham City.

Ultraman/Shaunfu-
I’m playing some Mario Kart online right now,if anyone’s interested.

This reminds me of the Billion Bubble Machine from “Robot Monster”, mainly just because both items make a heck of a lot of bubbles.

Yeah, I can’t believe they had to have that whole kryptonite subplot. No one wants a Superman/ Batman crossover but it sure looks like Nolan is hellbent.

Mandy I think there’s one around here, I’ll check it out. I’m picky as fuck with clothes, though. Hey guess what I did today? Spent 2Â½ hours in a seminar about modifier usage with a rep from Medicare. I still don’t think I understand 25. @_@

My son had a gun similar to this. It did not work at all, though I wished it would.

I heard that in the new Batman movie !!!SPOILER ALERT!!! that Snape kills the Joker. !!!END SPOILER!!!

one of my bosses at my last job had something like this… he liked to sneak back to the cubicles and shoot it off at odd times to see who would notice… he also was far too comfortable in a whinnie the poo costume… yeah that needed to stop… ANYWAY, on a lighter note, im sorry matt butt the Bullshot sounds like a horrible way to spend an evening… an evening that ends with runny beef vomit (ewwwwww… i may have just crossed a line there…sorry) if you wanna try a mans drink make yourself a Prarie Fire shot… that one’ll put a feather in your cap and a few more hairs on your chest for sure!

2. Matt have you ever exhaled smoke into a bubble wand? its awwwesome. When the bubbles burst its a fun explosion of smoke.

Annette, I think I saw an ad for Batman Begins on sale somewhere. Do you live near a Circuit City?

First of all, spoil me away. I’m not a Batman fan. I prefer Superman for DC Universe. Call me when they have a follow-up to “Superman Returns” that moves a little faster than my brother’s pet turtle.

Second, that wand looks like fun, and yes, I’m a girl too. Hell, I still blow bubbles from time to time. (It helps to have an excuse - I have a three year old nephew and dozens of toddler and young child cousins and almost-sort-of-relatives.)

Right now I’m thinking that the Gazzler would make a neat sex toy… Having said that, I would have loved to have one of those as a kid, for less kinky purposes. Too bad I never got anything that cool unless my boy cousins got one. Boy toys were so much more awesome.

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