As frequent readers know, I’m a gigantic fan of Bloody Marys and Dirty Martinis…and virtually any cocktail that drinks like a meal and sort of doubles as a soup. Searching for new horizons, I stumbled upon a new recipe — one that seems completely gross, but is actually so unbelievably good that I’m going against my vow to never write blog entries while half-crocked. Meet the BULLSHOT.
Christ, you’re going to think this is so disgusting, but I swear, it’s not. Basically, a Bullshot is a spin on the Bloody Mary, replacing the usual tomato juice with beef broth. Uh huh. It’s conceptually unpalatable for sure, but once you taste this shit, you’ll realize that it’s the cocktail only a cow could hate.
While on par with the insane sodium level of a Bloody Mary, the Bullshot somehow feels lighter (likely because it’s less “pulpy” than its crimson cousin), and is actually far easier to drink. The vodka in a Bloody Mary always seemed halfway to pointless, but with the Bullshot, I’m barely finished with the glass and I’m already feeling those warm, beefy fuzzies.
If you’re having trouble reconciling the idea of beef broth and vodka, note that there’s a lot of spicy add-ons to help it feel like more than that. Lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, cayenne pepper, celery salt and a fuckton of Tabasco. The end result is brown and beautiful.
It’s the kind of thing I don’t think I could ever bring myself to order if I was at a bar. Chances are, they wouldn’t have a clue what I was talking about, and even if they did, I’d spend the rest of the night being known as the guy who ordered the beef soup cocktail. On the other hand, while it’s hard to disguise a Bloody Mary, the Bullshot looks almost identical to a Long Island Iced Tea. Covert disgustingness FTW.
The primary ingredients are shown above. I’d give you a recipe, but honestly, it’s just like the Bloody Mary in that you can mix it in any number of ways and still come out golden. If you need some starter ideas, try this recipe.
Considered more of a morning drink and hangover cure, I look forward to breaking the rules and making the Bullshot an occasional midnight snack whenever the mood and/or opportunity presents itself. Sure, the cocktail makes you feel like a salt-filled shitbag, but so what? BEEF VODKA. It just has no right to be this good, but it is.
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
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