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07/09/2008: X-E’s ‘08 Summer Megaparty: Especially for..SIStah.

My sister’s family is in the process of remodeling their home, and they’ve spent the past few months dismantling their basement, parting ways with long-held artifacts of yesteryear.

In the process, she came upon a few letters which I apparently mailed to her when I was nine-years-old. (Or, more truthfully, letters I wrote, placed in envelopes, drew stamps on and just handed to her.) One of these letters may be a little too odd to keep to myself.


(click pic to enlarge)

My sister is much older than me, and was already in her own house by the time this letter was written. She’d gotten into the habit of bringing me packs of stickers whenever she dropped by. Though the untrained eye might believe differently, this seems to be a thank-you letter for one such set of stickers.

Largely just a mismatched pile of doodles, the core “note” section reads as follows: “I got the new stickers you sent me. They are cool! I also like the postcard with the monkey with gun. I hope you like this Corvette in Hollywood! Write back!”

Hmmm. The “postcard with the monkey with gun?” I do have some vague recollection of a photo of a chimp with an exploded gum bubble covering half of his face, and I can only assume that the “postcard with the monkey with gun” refers to this. Frankly, it’s obvious that I only wrote words on the page to make it work legally as a letter. I was far more interested in doodling random bullshit.

And what doodles the are! The central piece is a pink Corvette in a Hollywood setting. I titled the car “Corvette ‘88 Super Star,” for reasons that have been completely lost over the twenty years that have passed since this was written. Also interesting is my pathetic attempt at a palm tree, which looks more like a feather duster, or possibly several thousand palm trees superimposed on top of each other.

The top third of the letter is riddled with much more random scribbles, including a series of fake stamps and stickers. There’s a stamp marked “N.Y. Lamborghini,” which really makes me wonder if I was more into cars that I seem to recall. The three stamps at the top depict a boy with sunglasses, Earth with one of Saturn’s rings, and a whoopee cushion? The hell? Why did I make a whoopee cushion stamp?

The phony stickers on the left are equally puzzling. One lists a bunch of video game consoles, while another reads, “I’m Not DEAF I’m Just Ignoring You.” A final sticker simply says “Bug Jokes.” What the fuck are bug jokes?

And just in case my sister wasn’t clear that some of these doodles were intended to be stamps, a final stamp-shaped doodle reads… “STAMP.”

The lower third of the page is the real money shot, featuring a scene from the old Rampage video game, with Lizzie being joined by the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man on a destructive romp in the Bronx. I loved crossovers.


Incredibly, she even kept the envelope. I assume that these random Halloween stickers were the ones I was thanking her for. Check out that swank Headless Horsemen, and the awesome space marked “PLACE STAMP HERE.”

I don’t remember being this weird. Now that I have proof of it, the course of my life is starting to make a lot more sense. I dunno, though. I can deal with most of this stuff, but it’s pretty hard to reconcile the “Bug Jokes” thing.

Q: Why did Bumble Bob get detention?
A: He wasn’t “bee-ing” good.

Wait, wait, UPDATE: Someone pointed out that it doesn’t say “Bug Jokes,” but rather, “Bag O Jokes.” Now I’m even more confused.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 141 comments

Maybe you had (or wanted) a product called “Bag o’ Jokes” at the time? The “penis” looks more like the end of a whoopee cushion if you ask me. It would also explain the whoopee cushion stamp…sorta.

Ghosted by Bluejay @ 07/10/2008 12:30 AM EDT


Was that one for the NeoGeo?

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 07/10/2008 12:30 AM EDT


I don’t see anything wrong with the doodle letter or the envelope. I just see what a 9 year old boy was thinking about in the moment, and what he thought was a pretty good doodle letter. That is what you got a kick out of and assumed your sister would get a kick out of it as well. Because why wouldn’t she get a kick out of Rampage, the Stay Puft Marshmellow man, whoopie cushions, a pink corvette in hollywood etc. etc. You even got a bit of pink to add to the car for her.

If those were the stickers you were willing to sacrifice I can’t imagine what the ones you kept looked like! I have several little doodles and drawings at my Grandma’s house and here that I want to get my hands on and get my hands on a scanner and scan them to make lots and lots of blog entries about them.

I went through a phase when I was in the 4th grade where I drew skeletons that were these punk badass skeletons. I would dress them up in skater type of clothing, give them a skateboard, etc. and it would be a character. I know I found a drawing a few years ago that I think I still have of a skeleton with one of those “real men wear black” raiders shirts on it. That is a time capsule for sure. On my youtube page I have a series of 5 videos I think they are of me showing drawings from a sketch diary I filled up in high school. That is different then innocent doodles like this, but it is amusing how different my point of view was back then. Doodles like this one definitely shows your point of view at that time.

Ghosted by Goob @ 07/10/2008 12:44 AM EDT


What did your sister say about this? Did she like your letters, or did she just pat you on your head as a kid and throw them into her basement?

Ghosted by yooki42 @ 07/10/2008 12:52 AM EDT


Invader: Yeah, I’m late with the Summer Juke, but definitely soon. :) I have to regurgitate the code used for the last X-Mas jukebox, and it’ll take a lot of “nunse nunse” throat noises to make that happen.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/10/2008 12:57 AM EDT


yooki: I honestly have no recollection of her reaction to these letters; she gave me four of them. Among them, one is a picture of a space shuttle with a note urging her to save the envelope that it came in. Another is a Christmas letter drawn exclusively in red and green crayon.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/10/2008 12:59 AM EDT


I mean what did she say when she gave them to you the other day?

Ghosted by yooki42 @ 07/10/2008 1:00 AM EDT


Can’t wait to hear Wildwood Days, again!

Ghosted by Neg @ 07/10/2008 1:00 AM EDT


I’ll bet you made this letter while you were in your room. I used to write things like this for my cousins. I’d always end up drawing the stuff I saw laying around. The stuff at the top was probably just what you saw in your room while you were drawing…whoopie cushion, bag o’ jokes, all the video game consoles…did you have an “I’m not deaf, I’m just ignoring you” button or bumper-sticker? Maybe some of it was from a magazine.

Ghosted by Adam E @ 07/10/2008 1:02 AM EDT


I’m sure my parents have a whole fuckin ’stash of stuff like this. I know my Grandma does… no, wait… she gave it to ME!
Ooh snap!

Also good to know that I’m not the only one that drew stamps.
I do think, however, that I am the only one that drew stamps so they LOOKED JUST LIKE REAL STAMPS in an attept to fool the mail carrier.

Ghosted by kittymao @ 07/10/2008 1:05 AM EDT


Adam E: Yeah, the whoopee cushion, “bag o jokes” and “I’m not deaf” thing all point to my obsession with Johnson-Smith and Spencer Gifts.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/10/2008 1:05 AM EDT


Lizzie seems to be holding a jug of some kind. A jug of wine, perhaps? Perhaps Liz and George were invited to a kegger at Stay Pufts house, got really drunk and just started destroying buildings. Maybe they thought the buildings was dope and just trying to smoke them. Maybe they were also hungry for White Castle hamburgers. Makes you see Rampage in a different light. They weren’t evil, just hungover.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 07/10/2008 1:09 AM EDT


Matt, I was searching the archives and I read your article about the Legend of Zelda. I have 500 wii points and I’m considering buying the original one on the virtual console.

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 07/10/2008 1:17 AM EDT


Haha, I love seeing stuff like this. My cousin still has a bunch of notebooks full of drawings she and I did when we were kids.

OH yeah, and this reminds me about a letter I wrote when I was around 6 or so. (Click my name to see it.)

Ghosted by GloomyJack @ 07/10/2008 1:32 AM EDT


Hoverbored

If you’ve never played the original Zelda, you should. It still holds up.

Warning: You will be humbled! Imagine playing this game before the days of the internet…

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 07/10/2008 1:38 AM EDT


Speaking of wii points I need to get some more. I recently bought Super Metroid and this other game that I can’t remember the name of. I was eager to play Super Metroid because I never beat it when it first came out. I tried like crazy but could never do it. However I FINALLY beat last month! Oh man I wa so happy when I did it too! It was just like when I was a kid and beat a very hard game. I can now finally cross “beat Super Metroid” off my list of “the things to do in my life” list. =D Kid Nicky: King of the Monsters on virtual console ? AWESOME! =D

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/10/2008 3:13 AM EDT


GloomyJack – Holy crap. That letter was AWESOME.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 07/10/2008 5:24 AM EDT


Can’t remember if I’ve ever posted. I just wanted to say that this is just adorable. It was good of your sister to keep them.

Ghosted by Ricia @ 07/10/2008 5:59 AM EDT


I was just minding my own business and I saw a banner for a Princess Bride game. You guessed it, someone out there made a game based on the classic movie the Princess Bride.

http://www.princessbridegame.com/princess_bride_game

I am thinking it is bad, because there is a quote on their site from USA Today that says, “Play Princess on Windows and Mac” Usually a game is bad if that is the only type of quotes they can find to advertise the game. You can play a free downloadable trial and there is a video. I thought I would throw that into the conversation.

Ghosted by Goob @ 07/10/2008 6:52 AM EDT


A Princess Bride game?! Sounds like X-E material to me.

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/10/2008 7:07 AM EDT


Wow, Matt! That letter is the best! You sure you didn’t get into the liquor cabinet when you were a kid?! :)
I’m sure there’s plenty of dorkalicious letters and drawings I did when I was younger somewhere in my mom’s house. Just haven’t come across them yet.

Ghosted by DC @ 07/10/2008 7:30 AM EDT


I love the acknowledgement of the beautiful borough I call home. Personally, I AM a bronx rampage.

Also, my wopspeak is very weak but I think caracappa means “Face Head”, which is one of the best Italian surnames I’ve seen since a local dentist named Senzamici (”no friends”). Praise Matt FaceHead!

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 07/10/2008 8:46 AM EDT


Q. What’s a bug favorite band?
A. The BEE-gees.

God bless your sister.

Ghosted by Nizzler @ 07/10/2008 8:58 AM EDT


Hoverbored-yes Neo Geo. Now that was a MAN’s system.

Ghosted by Kid Nicky @ 07/10/2008 9:45 AM EDT


This might be old news, but I just saw they are making a Ghostbusters game for the PS3 and XBOX 360. I really hope its as good as it looks. It has Stay Puft and Slimer so it can’t be too bad.

http://www.gamespot.com/ps3/action/ghostbusters08/index.html

Ghosted by Jack @ 07/10/2008 9:58 AM EDT


There will be a DS version too, but instead of fighting ghosts you get to run a business that fights ghosts.
Exactly like the original NES game.
Wheee..

Ghosted by JoshC @ 07/10/2008 10:16 AM EDT


Uggh. Nothing could ever be worse then the NES version. Climbing a skyscraper by pushing the button every step was just an awful idea for a game level.

Ghosted by Jack @ 07/10/2008 10:33 AM EDT


Smilin’ Sunny’s had a Bag o Jokes they sold. Maybe it was that?

Ghosted by Double G @ 07/10/2008 10:39 AM EDT


Actually, I’ve been thinking about this…there was a third pranks and gags shop aside from Johnson-Smith and The Magic Company that used to have ads in old kiddy comics/magazines — I believe it was called “The Fun Shop?” I used to be crazy about that place, and have a vague recollection of “Bag of Jokes” being on the front of their small, orange catalog. It also makes sense because they sent out all these wacky stickers when you ordered something. Would explain the “I’m Not Deaf” stuff.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/10/2008 10:41 AM EDT


My dad had an electric typewriter when I was a kid. It was somewhere between a typewriter and a word processor, and I thought it was the coolest thing in existence, so I would type stuff on it all the time, including letters to my future self. It would say how old I was and what was going on in my life. Unfortunately, it was never anything cool that I had the potential of forgetting about later in life. I didn’t realize that future me wouldn’t need to be reminded of where I went to elementary school. Still, when I run across them from time to time, it’s cool to get a letter from childhood me. Plus, it’s a little surreal to remember typing them as a kid and imagining that exact scenario taking place. It’s all come full circle…

Ghosted by Lori @ 07/10/2008 10:42 AM EDT


Nope, it was called Fun House, and I wrote about it! Jeez.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/10/2008 10:43 AM EDT


I just thought of something to go along with my post above. Maybe the reason Liz/George could eat humans in Rampage is BECAUSE we taste like a White Castle hamburger.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 07/10/2008 10:52 AM EDT


Wasn’t there a company called Fun Factory too that used to advertise in comic books. I could be wrong.

Ghosted by Jack @ 07/10/2008 11:12 AM EDT


Matt, your pumpkins look a lot like the ones I drew when I was little. Were you the artist of the family? I was called that but in hindsight I really sucked. I wonder why they pumped me full of the BS? Your art was 10X better than the shit drew. Case in point:
http://veggiemacabre.wordpress.com/2007/09/14/im-no-picasso/

Ghosted by Bill @ 07/10/2008 11:26 AM EDT


Yeah, my parents used to call me an “artist” too but I was never any good at all until I was about 19 or 20, and I wasn’t that good then either. I have since stopped drawing in favor of writing. Stick to what you’re good at, they say.

Anyway, Matt, I love these posts about old doodles. I admire you for putting them up for all to see. When I come across old stuff that I doodled, I usually shred it up and burn it. That’s one part of my past that doesn’t need to be preserved as far as I’m concerned. >_>

Ghosted by Annette @ 07/10/2008 12:04 PM EDT


I am an old doodle prophet of doom.

When I was about five, we had a beagle named Lucky. One day I drew a picture of lucky and wrote “Best Dog” on it. I stuck it to Lucky’s collar.

The next day she was dead.

I’m not saying my powers sealed Lucky’s fate, but a bold proclamation like “Best” seems to be a challenge to forces beyond my control to prove that Lucky wasn’t such a big deal after all, in the larger scope of the universe’s plan. The lesson is, don’t let me stick my drawings to you unless you want to be lying in my driveway the next morning.

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 07/10/2008 12:07 PM EDT


I had done something similar to this when I was a kid. Story goes, that for some reason my brother and I we’re grounded (probably set something on fire again) for one thing or another. It must have been pretty bad because the evidence shows that we saw no end in sight for our punishment.

The evidence? We wrote a note detailing or punishment (not the crime) and somewhere I had produced a screw driver with the hopes of jimmying the lock on the door so good old dad couldn’t get in to complete the punishment. With that not working we decided to fold and shove the note into the lock as a improvised time capsule in case we were never heard from again.

I’m guessing 45 minutes later it was forgotten.
20 years later I’m told my dad found this note, no one could remember what the crime was for. But the old coot went and framed the damn thing and hung it in the very room we thought we would spend eternity in.

Ghosted by Wenthral @ 07/10/2008 12:08 PM EDT


Frickin’ Rampage… I cursed that game for years. My next door neighbor and I sat one day for what felt like 8 hours straight and played Rampage on Nintendo start to finish. We were kicking it’s ass (I was George, because he had my name and he was King Kong.. he rocked) so we played from breakfast, through lunch… finally we got to the last stage and after what seemed like forever we beat it… we won! We sat anticipating accolades and videos of destruction, something… anything to reward our hard work and devastation… the screen goes black and the word “CONGRATULATIONS” flashes across the screen. Then the game goes back to the title screen. I think the silence in the room lasted a good 5 minutes as we tried to wrap our heads around the disappoint we were just served on a platter…

Ghosted by Double G @ 07/10/2008 12:13 PM EDT


Rev, actually from my experiences I’d say naming your dog lucky may have sealed her fate. Every pet i’ve ever known with that name never turns out to be lucky.

Ghosted by AdamB @ 07/10/2008 12:49 PM EDT


Another boring, sleep till 1 pm Thursday.

Ghosted by doho in the summer @ 07/10/2008 1:14 PM EDT


doho – that sounds like a pretty damn good thursday to me. 1 PM is just about the right time of day for me to wake up. Any earlier feels like a compromise.

Most days, however, I’ve been up for about 7 hours by then. I am working against my nature! No wonder everything is such a struggle. :(

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 07/10/2008 1:17 PM EDT


I can’t keep morning schedules to save my life, or jobs. If it’s not just me, I swear our bodies were designed to sleep in the morning and early afternoon and go to bed at night, an hour or two before the sun starts to rise.

There’s just something about being awake in the morning that just does not work for me.

Ghosted by doho in the summer @ 07/10/2008 1:31 PM EDT


god, i dont think my body would even let me sleep that late anymore, but i used to do it every weekend.

did i say my body? i meant my cat.

i love the drawings matt finds from his childhood. they would make great x-e t-shirts.

Ghosted by MJ @ 07/10/2008 1:38 PM EDT


No matter how early I go to bed my body always hates me for getting up at 6 a.m. When I’m able to sleep later is the only time I truly feel 100% normal. I agree that our bodies were not meant to wake up when it’s still dark out.

Ghosted by Clockwork @ 07/10/2008 1:46 PM EDT


MJ the thing about the cat made me laugh…I have two dogs that won’t let me sleep past about 7:30!!! Got to love responsibility!

Ghosted by gingela5 @ 07/10/2008 1:55 PM EDT


Double G, my little brother and I had that exact same experience with the NES Rampage. We were SO excited because we finally beat it, only to be soo disappointed at the “ending”. Makes me laugh just thinking about how we, too, sat in silence for like five minutes and then turned off the Nintendo in disgust.

Ghosted by Nicole @ 07/10/2008 2:00 PM EDT


Rampage is notoriously unrewarding and monotonous. It’s still fun to blow a little steam off but I imagine the first few stages are played more than the last few by a 500,000 to 1 times ratio.

Ghosted by doho in the summer @ 07/10/2008 2:05 PM EDT


But I should add, if I could have played as the Stay Puft Marshmellow man, I wouldn’t have cared.

Ghosted by doho in the summer @ 07/10/2008 2:10 PM EDT


My weiner would be happy to spend the entire day in bed with me.

Ghosted by Rev. Back It On Up @ 07/10/2008 2:40 PM EDT


Does Spy Hunter have an ending?

Ghosted by BgBlyStyle @ 07/10/2008 2:42 PM EDT


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