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X-E’s ’08 Summer Megaparty: Otter Pops.

Welcome to X-Entertainment's ill-prepared 2008 Summer Megaparty: Your special hub for all kinds of summery goodness and stuff. THE RULES ARE SIMPLE! I hereby vow to post at least once a day for the entire month of July...possibly longer if I don't hate writing by August.

I honestly have no idea what I'm going to write about this month. Like, no clue at all. I had a few ideas for semi-special blog posts that have been rattling around my head for the past few months, but for the most part, I'm totally gonna wing this. Meaning? I'm probably going to end up living by the letter of the law and not the spirit. All I said was that I would post everyday. I didn't say what I would post. If I sketch a retarded penguin on a bank deposit slip, scan it and publish it, I've technically made good on my promise.

I'll try not to do that, though. Not often, at least.

I guess I didn't do much to pump you up for the month to follow with what's written above, and in a case such as this, I turn to a reliant, rushed graphic to do the hard sell.


Are you excited now? At least a little more? Good. I worked really hard on finding the right picture of a watermelon.

I'm happy to do the Megaparty, because I'm not sure I'd stay conscious of the fact that it's even summertime without it. Summer definitely loses its status as "favorite season" as you grow older, when it becomes indicative of nothing more than a change in climate. That's a far cry from the lost days of having two months to do nothing but play tag and trick your friends into stepping on dog shit.

I don't expect that too many of the Megaparty's posts will be actively seasonal, because if I had to inject sunshine into every entry, I wouldn't just go bananas...I'd turn into one. I would transform into a giant banana, and this isn't good for any of us because bananas cannot write, let alone work a computer. Still, expect a fair share of entries that at least nominally persuade you to make the most of your summer, even if all you're really doing is eating popsicles when they're in season.


I was surprised to find boxes of Otter Pops on sale at a local pharmacy. We've never had Otter Pops around these parts, and my only prior experience with their icy, sugary glories was at my brother's family's former house somewhere in Jersey. They had like seven thousand Otter Pops stacked in a garage freezer with positively no explanation given. I should've investigated this, but I guess I was more about eating Otter Pops than finding out why they had seven thousand of them. It's hard to connect criminal activity to Otter Pops, when you have 7,000 of 'em tucked away in a hidden freezer, the reason likely isn't appropriate for children of all ages.

Though I was quick to grab a box and make the embarrassing stroll up to the pharmacy cashier with nothing but Otter Pops and a pack of Bic pens in my fluorescent handcart, I don't have the nostalgic attachment to these things that so many others probably do. To me, they're just Fla-Vor-Ices with pool dick and kooky characters on the condoms.

As a child, my favorite Fla-Vor-Ice (or any similar brand of icy pop things) colors were red and green. While I indeed preferred red for its actual flavor, it's also true that I liked the way other colors tasted way better than green. Still, I always picked red or green, or both if nobody was looking. Simple reason why:


Red and green Fla-Vor-Ice pops were my own personal Vader and Luke lightsabers, new and improved with edibility. The similarity in color is truly remarkable. There are many shades of red and many shades of green, but somehow, red and green Fla-Vor-Ices are a Photoshop-dropper-match for Vader and Luke's lightsaber colors. In a world full of ugly coincidences, it was nice to find one so beautiful.

PS: Longtime least favorite frozen icy pop color? Pink. Hate pink. Still don't know what in the fuck it's supposed to taste like. My running assumption's been that food conglomerates sought to mimic the color and taste of that horrible liquid cure-all doctors force on children for every possible ailment. I still don't know what it was named. I just called it "pink medicine," typically with a frightened tone.

Tomorrow on X-E's Summer Megaparty:

You might want to do a F5-style refresh on the blog. I did some light graphics tweaks that you may not see if your browser insists on being a cache Nazi. Rest of the graphics and the 2008 edition of X-E's Summer Jukebox coming this week!

Posted by Matt on 07/01/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 283 comments

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Around these parts, our popsicles are called ‘Mr.Freeze’.

Watched some pretty cool fireworks tonight for Canada Day. Whoot!

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 07/01/2008 11:52 PM


when i was a little kid…

i used to love this saturday morning cartoon called Kissyfur. it was about this bear cub and his dad living redneck style in the swamps after his mom died. did anyone else used to watch this? i remember feeling really really sad about kissyfurs mom, thats how they hooked me!

Chestnuts roasted by Axel Rod @ 07/02/2008 12:08 AM


So am I the only one on here who actually LIKED that pink stuff? I work in a pharmacy and people are always saying how they wish their doctors would perscribe it for adults.

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 07/02/2008 12:23 AM


PLease tell me you are going to review Lil Hugs which are essentially non-frozen Flavor-Ice/Otter Pops in lil plastic barrels. Those were always FULLY stocked when our gandmother used to take us camping at Tuckaway Lake way back in the day. I was the dick who drank all the blue raspberry because it was the best aritificial flavor of the bunch plus it looked like i was drinking anti-freeze. Good times…..

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 07/02/2008 12:25 AM


i used to drink lil hugs, what i remember most was getting those little fuckers open. they came with a little circular piece of foil over the mouth of the bottle, and for the life of me i could never pull it off. i used to just bite through it with my 2 front theeth, but then the juice had this shitty foil taste…

Chestnuts roasted by Axel Rod @ 07/02/2008 12:31 AM


Kid Nicky, I LOVE the pink ones… but I already said that >:(

Chestnuts roasted by Aaron @ 07/02/2008 12:36 AM


So whens the new post?

Chestnuts roasted by Aaron @ 07/02/2008 12:38 AM


I LOVED lil hugs. Still do. And yeah it’s essentially the same thing as the freezy things, just not frozen.

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/02/2008 12:46 AM


phunqsauce, Lil Hugs! Yes! Thanks for bringing that one up. I used to love those.

Kid Nicky, If by pink medicine you’re talking about Pepto Bismol, then yes, I actually used to love Pepto, and still kind of like it. I used to sneak in the fridge and take a couple of swigs even when I wasn’t sick just cause I liked the taste of it. True story.

Axel Rod, I watched Kissyfur. I haven’t thought about that in years.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 07/02/2008 12:54 AM


Hey, do you guys realize that here on the east coast it’s been July 2nd for like an hour….which means that Matt could technically put up ANOTHER post and he would be sticking to his rule….ALREADY another one. It’s only a matter of a few hours before he does. Megaparty is in full swing and we’re still talking about retarded penguins and cracker halves. I wonder what we’ll be going on about a few hours from now.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 07/02/2008 12:58 AM


Aaron
Well this entry is dated 7/1.

So would imagine 7/2 would be sometime tomorrow. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 07/02/2008 12:59 AM


The “pink cure all” medicine is called Amoxicillin, an antibiotic. I think we all got it when we were kids because it tasted like bubblegum (likely the intended flavor of pink popsicles), and because ear infections are pretty common at that age. It was a decent shot in the dark for doctors who didn’t give a shit.

Chestnuts roasted by midship @ 07/02/2008 1:40 AM


I am currently trying to think of Pink things that are actually bad. It is hard. Most good things are pink. Like my phone, and my DS~

/waits for someone to say Pink Eye

Chestnuts roasted by Neg @ 07/02/2008 2:00 AM


Pink eye

Chestnuts roasted by Aaron @ 07/02/2008 2:10 AM


Hi.

Chestnuts roasted by Scott Baio @ 07/02/2008 2:13 AM


SCOTT BAIO! :O

Chestnuts roasted by doho in the summer @ 07/02/2008 2:34 AM


OTTER POPS!

You know I first had Otter Pops in Florida with my cousin.

We were so into the characters that they became bonified cartoon characters to us. We’d even run around pretending to be them!

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 07/02/2008 3:56 AM


Happy Summer Mega Par-tay! We need an official hip hop song for this blessed event. Maybe something like:

There’s a par-ty o-ver here
(It’s party time!)
Mega par-ty o-ver here
(It’s party time!)
Sum-mer me-ga par-ty over he-e-e-e-e-ere
(Yeeeeeeah!)
Go Matt!
Get funky
*insert beatboxing*

I am so white, I’m colorless. I need to eat some Otterpops to bring color to my pallid skin.

Chestnuts roasted by Hope @ 07/02/2008 4:50 AM


If you watch Freaks and Geeks you can see Lil hugs scattered all over their cafeteria lunch tables because in the show they get them in their lunches. It’s really cool.

I haven’t had a Lil hug for several years I don’t remember if I got them in my lunch or not but I remember drinking them sometimes. They look like they are only a couple of swigs each but a box of them is less then 5 dollars. I might get a box in the next week or two just for the hell of it. I remember liking the red color.

My Grandma used to get ocean spray juice boxes that were cranberry or cranberry and grape or cranberry and raspberry that she put in our lunches. Also individual sized bags of baseball themed cookies that she only got once and didn’t get them again. They were almost like teddy grahams I think. With baseball statistics on them which is funny because she got them for me and my two sisters, no boys. Every bag would describe how to throw a curve ball.

But anyway we had a cousin that was in his early 30′s at the time that was living with us. He had a joke about the Ocean spray juice boxes he would randomly grab one out of the box without looking at them and he would say, “oh what is this one going to be Cran on Cran?” and then he would say “oh no this one is Cran on Grape!” or whatever one it was. He would then comment oh why do I never get a cran on cran one? Eh, you might of had to of been there to get the joke :)

I have been every once in a while wanting to get a pack of juice boxes to throw in the freezer to get them into slurpee consistency and then eating them with a spoon but it seems like most of those companies sell drinks in those capri sun pouches anymore. Or the squirt ones with the rip off top in the plastic throwaway bottle. I know big lots sells some apple juice ones with sesame street characters on them. The only Hi C drinks I see are in pouches and not in boxes. Bummer.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 07/02/2008 4:59 AM


Otter pops used to be bigger and now they sell midgetier versions of them. Also, has anyone else thought about doing an Otter Pop movie?
I seee Poncho Punch and Strawberry Shortcook dating and living together when along comes Little Orphan Orange and he rlittle dog. To show Strawberry Shortcook he is ready for commitment, Poncho takes Annie under his wing against the wishes of wise ol’ Sir Isaac Lime. Annie begins to get in the way of the relationshipa nd Strawberry Shortcook seeks the advice of her gay friend Louie (the blue Otter Pop). In the end, the couple decide to leave Alexander the Grape in charge of Annie so he can show her the ways of the Otter Pops in time maturing Annie. The story is told through the eyes of aging Not Orphan Anymore Annie by the way.

Chestnuts roasted by WolfMan @ 07/02/2008 5:15 AM


So that’s why she’s standing on a box.

Chestnuts roasted by doho in the summer @ 07/02/2008 6:24 AM


Count me in with the folks who loved the taste of the pink antibiotics. That and Dimetapp. Ugh, but we had this cherry cough syrup for kids and that stuff made me puke every single time. Even regular Robotussin was better than that vile crap.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/02/2008 8:28 AM


I just took some pepto myself. I wish I could say it was a casual visit and that I was just feeling nostalgic for its pink taste.

Chestnuts roasted by doho in the summer @ 07/02/2008 8:45 AM


I never liked the flavor of any liquid medicine. Blech! I always preferred to get my medicine in pill form. Or, for me, a shot. I’m not scared of needles at all and a shot always worked quicker.

Chestnuts roasted by DC @ 07/02/2008 8:51 AM


I can’t say I like any liquid medicines, but I must say that I love the taste of baby aspirin. I like the taste of Pepsid AC chewables too for some reason.

Chestnuts roasted by Jack @ 07/02/2008 9:23 AM


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