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X-E’s ’08 Summer Megaparty: Otter Pops.

Welcome to X-Entertainment's ill-prepared 2008 Summer Megaparty: Your special hub for all kinds of summery goodness and stuff. THE RULES ARE SIMPLE! I hereby vow to post at least once a day for the entire month of July...possibly longer if I don't hate writing by August.

I honestly have no idea what I'm going to write about this month. Like, no clue at all. I had a few ideas for semi-special blog posts that have been rattling around my head for the past few months, but for the most part, I'm totally gonna wing this. Meaning? I'm probably going to end up living by the letter of the law and not the spirit. All I said was that I would post everyday. I didn't say what I would post. If I sketch a retarded penguin on a bank deposit slip, scan it and publish it, I've technically made good on my promise.

I'll try not to do that, though. Not often, at least.

I guess I didn't do much to pump you up for the month to follow with what's written above, and in a case such as this, I turn to a reliant, rushed graphic to do the hard sell.


Are you excited now? At least a little more? Good. I worked really hard on finding the right picture of a watermelon.

I'm happy to do the Megaparty, because I'm not sure I'd stay conscious of the fact that it's even summertime without it. Summer definitely loses its status as "favorite season" as you grow older, when it becomes indicative of nothing more than a change in climate. That's a far cry from the lost days of having two months to do nothing but play tag and trick your friends into stepping on dog shit.

I don't expect that too many of the Megaparty's posts will be actively seasonal, because if I had to inject sunshine into every entry, I wouldn't just go bananas...I'd turn into one. I would transform into a giant banana, and this isn't good for any of us because bananas cannot write, let alone work a computer. Still, expect a fair share of entries that at least nominally persuade you to make the most of your summer, even if all you're really doing is eating popsicles when they're in season.


I was surprised to find boxes of Otter Pops on sale at a local pharmacy. We've never had Otter Pops around these parts, and my only prior experience with their icy, sugary glories was at my brother's family's former house somewhere in Jersey. They had like seven thousand Otter Pops stacked in a garage freezer with positively no explanation given. I should've investigated this, but I guess I was more about eating Otter Pops than finding out why they had seven thousand of them. It's hard to connect criminal activity to Otter Pops, when you have 7,000 of 'em tucked away in a hidden freezer, the reason likely isn't appropriate for children of all ages.

Though I was quick to grab a box and make the embarrassing stroll up to the pharmacy cashier with nothing but Otter Pops and a pack of Bic pens in my fluorescent handcart, I don't have the nostalgic attachment to these things that so many others probably do. To me, they're just Fla-Vor-Ices with pool dick and kooky characters on the condoms.

As a child, my favorite Fla-Vor-Ice (or any similar brand of icy pop things) colors were red and green. While I indeed preferred red for its actual flavor, it's also true that I liked the way other colors tasted way better than green. Still, I always picked red or green, or both if nobody was looking. Simple reason why:


Red and green Fla-Vor-Ice pops were my own personal Vader and Luke lightsabers, new and improved with edibility. The similarity in color is truly remarkable. There are many shades of red and many shades of green, but somehow, red and green Fla-Vor-Ices are a Photoshop-dropper-match for Vader and Luke's lightsaber colors. In a world full of ugly coincidences, it was nice to find one so beautiful.

PS: Longtime least favorite frozen icy pop color? Pink. Hate pink. Still don't know what in the fuck it's supposed to taste like. My running assumption's been that food conglomerates sought to mimic the color and taste of that horrible liquid cure-all doctors force on children for every possible ailment. I still don't know what it was named. I just called it "pink medicine," typically with a frightened tone.

Tomorrow on X-E's Summer Megaparty:

You might want to do a F5-style refresh on the blog. I did some light graphics tweaks that you may not see if your browser insists on being a cache Nazi. Rest of the graphics and the 2008 edition of X-E's Summer Jukebox coming this week!

Posted by Matt on 07/01/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 283 comments

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HAPPY MEGAPARTY!

I love these things, but from where I live (NC) we call them Chilly Willies (they used to have a penguin on the wrapper, look it up), but they are the exact same thing. When I used to work at a summer camp, like five years ago, the kids would fight for the green flavor because they said it was Kryptonite flavored and made them stronger (this is actually opposite logic if you think about it), either way, now when I eat them, I think about green making me a little stronger.

I’m going to go eat one right now in fact, seriously, the box is in the freezer about 20 feet away.

Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 07/01/2008 1:54 PM


Hey Jack, where did you find that link?

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 07/01/2008 2:03 PM


Yeah, I agree with Annette; thanks for the heads up Saint; that will be interesting to say the least

Chestnuts roasted by Shaunfu @ 07/01/2008 2:07 PM


For fellow adventuers, so Matt uses the numbers from lost and the scentific name for cocnut crab, which is located on Christmas island, if you check this map from Lost http://lost.cubit.net/archives/2008/05/4×12-oceanic-crash-map.php

it sure looks like the castaways are pretty close to Christmas Island, what it all means is beyhond me, but maybe Matt will start a box 23 thread V to keep all these crazy conspiracies off the main blog posts

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 07/01/2008 2:24 PM


Should we even still be calling it Box 23? Isn’t it more, Box Otter Pops now?

Chestnuts roasted by doho in the summer @ 07/01/2008 2:34 PM


Hmm, I wonder if I can talk my wife into bringing me Otter Pops.

And I’m disappointed in you people for not recognizing the penguin’s account number…Lost is simply the best. show. ever. Get thee to a video store, netflix, iTunes, etc, and get Lost!

Chestnuts roasted by Teddy Ray @ 07/01/2008 2:37 PM


I actually liked pink for some reason, but blue was always my favorite.

On a side note, I actually had a dream recently where the site closed down and everything forwarded to UGO. I was very upset…glad it was just a dream. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Alchemist4 @ 07/01/2008 2:39 PM


Watch out guys, JoshC is giving out heck! I can only imagine what being on the recieving end of Candadian Heck is all aboot.

And apparently, Goob knows how to suck things really hard.

I’m really disappointed in Squee4242 for not picking up on the Lost reference. I count on you for these kinds of things, Squee. I really do.

Bill, Rufee-Pop! LOL

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 07/01/2008 2:39 PM


@Rob

To answer your previous post I just looked in the directory the other pics for the megaparty were stored. I don’t know if there is a clue to lead to that page or not, but that’s how I found it.

Chestnuts roasted by Jack @ 07/01/2008 2:39 PM


Why was it JACK ( isn’t there a Jack on Lost?)that posted that Gif… and where did it come from?!

And dear god, I should know better not to click on Box 23 stuff, I get all kinds of freaked out.
The megaparty’s going to be fucking insane now, isn’t it?
Talk about roping folkses in…

Chestnuts roasted by kittymao @ 07/01/2008 2:43 PM


retarded penguin!!
:D
can’t wait for the summer partyyy..
woo.

Chestnuts roasted by MumblerTony @ 07/01/2008 2:51 PM


How can we talk about otters (although I still say they look more like stoned and perverted gummy bears) without talking about the most famous otter of all: Emmet Otter and his Jugband.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BV0SbkrG44Y&feature=related

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/01/2008 3:19 PM


Perverted gummi bears, you say?

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/06/30/funny-gummi-lighthou.html

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 07/01/2008 3:37 PM


Since I’m bored here I tried to do some anagrams with the items on this page. I found that “I not fly but I do other thing” anagrams to “Found it right by the lotion”. Unless its a clue to look at the Coppertan Lotion sticker for a secret clue it probably doesn’t mean anything. I thought I would pass it along though.

Chestnuts roasted by Jack @ 07/01/2008 3:39 PM


Emmet Otter is all about the Christmas, so I’d say he’s a distant cousin to the Otter Pops gang at best. Besides, the Riverbottom Nightmare Band still creeps me out a little…

Chestnuts roasted by Saint @ 07/01/2008 3:41 PM


Actually, that’s pretty possible Jack, I thought the exact wording was a bit weird, even for such a retarded penguin.

Chestnuts roasted by doho in the summer @ 07/01/2008 3:45 PM


Pink ones are pink lemonade. I have a sad story regarding that…in 5th grade, after some standardized test, they took us outside, in the hot, Texas sun, and they just randomly handed popsicles out. I got the pink one, I asked for a red, they were just like “be happy with what you get”. I could neither trade someone nor hang out with anyone, because at the time, I had no friends…

Chestnuts roasted by Jonah Norason @ 07/01/2008 4:12 PM


I have a bad feeling I’m going to be severely sucked into the Box 23 madness this year. I gave it up after a while last year cause I had this problem with my internet connection where I couldn’t watch any kind of streaming media, so I couldn’t watch the little videos or listen to the audio files or anything, plus some of the folks around here were just light years ahead of me in figuring things out as they came along. But this year, I’m afraid I might get a little wrapped up in the whole thing. I do hope we have another seperate Box 23 thread for it though. It really is its own seperate discussion. That is, assuming Box 23 will be involved at all. This year, it might be called Half Cracker Box, or Retard Penguin Suitcase or something…God only knows what the head honcho around here has planned for us.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 07/01/2008 4:15 PM


“Retard Penguin Suitcase” would make a great name for a band.

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 07/01/2008 4:20 PM


To be honest, I don’t think that looks like a penguin at all. It looks more like the Jekyl version of Tweety Bird.

Chestnuts roasted by doho in the summer @ 07/01/2008 4:22 PM


Jonah, that is a pretty sad story.

Also…I feel like I’ve seen you elsewhere on the internet. Labelscar, maybe…?

Chestnuts roasted by Annette @ 07/01/2008 4:24 PM


Not as disappointed as I am in myself, DJ D. I was wasting my time trying anagrams last night, I didn’t even notice Penguino’s account number :( The only thing I can say in my defense is I DID ponder whether the initial box 23 might be related to the numbers back at Advent. That’s all I got.
I’m very intrigued by this Christmas Island stuff…

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/01/2008 5:01 PM


You know reading through the comments, I can’t believe there are people in their 20′S who feel old ! Man I hate to think about how ya’ll are going to feel when your ACTUALLY old, 60 and up. Anyway iv’e been trying hard to stay cool. I picked up some groceries and stuff today and MAN was it HOT! I felt like I was roasting in an oven. Naturally there were big lines at the store too. Oh well i’m home now, so all is well. =)

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/01/2008 5:35 PM


sad story.

i heard the penguin missed his last 3 mortgage payments becasue he spends all his money on raw fish, gasoline, and atlantic city prostitutes.

citibank is planning to forclose on 555 polar place tomorrow afternoon at 4:pm.

retartded AND homeless…so sad.

also, it turns our that other thing he does…is shitting on peoples’s front lawns.

Chestnuts roasted by Axel Rod @ 07/01/2008 5:43 PM


side note.

anyone notice how if you eat more then one otter pop/flavorice you get that scratchy feeling in the back of your throat? i dont know if its the plastic that makes you cough or what they use to flavor the ice, but it happens to me every time without fail.

Chestnuts roasted by Axel Rod @ 07/01/2008 5:49 PM


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