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07/01/2008: X-E’s ‘08 Summer Megaparty: Otter Pops.

Welcome to X-Entertainment’s ill-prepared 2008 Summer Megaparty: Your special hub for all kinds of summery goodness and stuff. THE RULES ARE SIMPLE! I hereby vow to post at least once a day for the entire month of July…possibly longer if I don’t hate writing by August.

I honestly have no idea what I’m going to write about this month. Like, no clue at all. I had a few ideas for semi-special blog posts that have been rattling around my head for the past few months, but for the most part, I’m totally gonna wing this. Meaning? I’m probably going to end up living by the letter of the law and not the spirit. All I said was that I would post everyday. I didn’t say what I would post. If I sketch a retarded penguin on a bank deposit slip, scan it and publish it, I’ve technically made good on my promise.

I’ll try not to do that, though. Not often, at least.

I guess I didn’t do much to pump you up for the month to follow with what’s written above, and in a case such as this, I turn to a reliant, rushed graphic to do the hard sell.


Are you excited now? At least a little more? Good. I worked really hard on finding the right picture of a watermelon.

I’m happy to do the Megaparty, because I’m not sure I’d stay conscious of the fact that it’s even summertime without it. Summer definitely loses its status as “favorite season” as you grow older, when it becomes indicative of nothing more than a change in climate. That’s a far cry from the lost days of having two months to do nothing but play tag and trick your friends into stepping on dog shit.

I don’t expect that too many of the Megaparty’s posts will be actively seasonal, because if I had to inject sunshine into every entry, I wouldn’t just go bananas…I’d turn into one. I would transform into a giant banana, and this isn’t good for any of us because bananas cannot write, let alone work a computer. Still, expect a fair share of entries that at least nominally persuade you to make the most of your summer, even if all you’re really doing is eating popsicles when they’re in season.


I was surprised to find boxes of Otter Pops on sale at a local pharmacy. We’ve never had Otter Pops around these parts, and my only prior experience with their icy, sugary glories was at my brother’s family’s former house somewhere in Jersey. They had like seven thousand Otter Pops stacked in a garage freezer with positively no explanation given. I should’ve investigated this, but I guess I was more about eating Otter Pops than finding out why they had seven thousand of them. It’s hard to connect criminal activity to Otter Pops, when you have 7,000 of ‘em tucked away in a hidden freezer, the reason likely isn’t appropriate for children of all ages.

Though I was quick to grab a box and make the embarrassing stroll up to the pharmacy cashier with nothing but Otter Pops and a pack of Bic pens in my fluorescent handcart, I don’t have the nostalgic attachment to these things that so many others probably do. To me, they’re just Fla-Vor-Ices with pool dick and kooky characters on the condoms.

As a child, my favorite Fla-Vor-Ice (or any similar brand of icy pop things) colors were red and green. While I indeed preferred red for its actual flavor, it’s also true that I liked the way other colors tasted way better than green. Still, I always picked red or green, or both if nobody was looking. Simple reason why:


Red and green Fla-Vor-Ice pops were my own personal Vader and Luke lightsabers, new and improved with edibility. The similarity in color is truly remarkable. There are many shades of red and many shades of green, but somehow, red and green Fla-Vor-Ices are a Photoshop-dropper-match for Vader and Luke’s lightsaber colors. In a world full of ugly coincidences, it was nice to find one so beautiful.

PS: Longtime least favorite frozen icy pop color? Pink. Hate pink. Still don’t know what in the fuck it’s supposed to taste like. My running assumption’s been that food conglomerates sought to mimic the color and taste of that horrible liquid cure-all doctors force on children for every possible ailment. I still don’t know what it was named. I just called it “pink medicine,” typically with a frightened tone.

Tomorrow on X-E’s Summer Megaparty:

You might want to do a F5-style refresh on the blog. I did some light graphics tweaks that you may not see if your browser insists on being a cache Nazi. Rest of the graphics and the 2008 edition of X-E’s Summer Jukebox coming this week!


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Discussion Thread: 282 comments

You know I said I liked that medicine, I’m wondering if I tried it today if I would like it as much.

Ghosted by gingela5 @ 07/02/2008 9:24 AM EDT


My brother was always allergic to the pink stuff so we never had any of that in the house. They never gave me anything he was allergic to just to be on the safe side, so it appears I got lucky in not having had to have tasted any of it.
I remember Kissyfur and Emmett Otter’s Jugband Christmas. I think I’ll watch my Emmett dvd today actually. I bought it last Christmas, along with the He-man and She-ra and Garfield specials, to ensure that my soon-to-be-born daughter grows up with proper holiday television. I’m still looking for Christmas Eve on Sesame Street and the Fraggle Rock Xmas Special.

Ghosted by earthwormgoddess @ 07/02/2008 9:44 AM EDT


Lil Hugs and Chilly Willys rule. Me and a friend bought a case of Lil Hugs at Walmart last summer and tried to drink them all in one sitting.

http://www.samsclub.com/shopping/navigate.do?dest=5&item=205515

Ghosted by Fox @ 07/02/2008 9:45 AM EDT


Sorry to double post, but I see Waiterbot in the picture by the Otter Pops, but I do not see Matt’s cracker everyone is talking about. Am I blind or is it somewhere else?

Ghosted by earthwormgoddess @ 07/02/2008 9:45 AM EDT


earthwormgodess Click on the otter pops picture.

Ghosted by DC @ 07/02/2008 9:48 AM EDT


And you’ll see how deep the rabbit hole goes…

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 07/02/2008 9:52 AM EDT


Oh! Thanks DC! I don’t know why I didn’t think to do that!

Ghosted by earthwormgoddess @ 07/02/2008 9:54 AM EDT


He kept the cracker…

Ghosted by Steffanio @ 07/02/2008 10:26 AM EDT


Matt, you should consider Ebaying that cracker. If people will pay top dollar for Jesus toast who knows what people will pay for a saltine eaten with precision.

Ghosted by Bill @ 07/02/2008 11:08 AM EDT


I don’t want to be here the day that cracker crumbles. I can’t stand to see a grown man cry.

Ghosted by doho in the summer @ 07/02/2008 12:10 PM EDT


doho: I am pretty sure that cracker is hanging out with the Simpson’s donut, safe and sound.

Ghosted by Bill @ 07/02/2008 12:15 PM EDT


I just grabbed a handful of some Jelly Belly jelly beans one of my co-workers has. I always forget that they make some weird flavors.
I hate it when I grab one that looks like it may be good and the flavor turns out to be fly spit or something.

Ghosted by DC @ 07/02/2008 12:16 PM EDT


Matt kept a Simpsons Donut? How did I miss this?

Ghosted by doho in the summer @ 07/02/2008 12:27 PM EDT


I recently picked up a rather generic looking giant mesh bag loaded with rather generic looking plastic sleeves of frozen water and sugar. It wasn’t until I got home and stuck them in the freezer that I realized they were Hawaiian Punch brand popsicles! I then mumbled something to myself about how awesome that was.

Ghosted by Justin @ 07/02/2008 12:33 PM EDT


Man, I long forgot about Otter Pops. I used to do the same thing with the red and green ones acting like they are lightsabers. I liked how each flavor had their own character as well. Anything that is edible, blue and won’t kill me, I’m eating or drinking it.

Ghosted by Daniel @ 07/02/2008 12:35 PM EDT


I would imagine that the donut is still hanging around.
http://x-entertainment.com/updates/2007/07/29/summer-megaparty-donuts-candle-chef-mario-and-storms/

Ghosted by Bill @ 07/02/2008 12:37 PM EDT


So- I was thinking about talking about it… so I will.

I was so creeped out by this entry becuase Rudy, that BF of mine… got THREEFUCUKINGBOXES of Otterpops this weekend for FREE from a trucker that works for him. Unloaded an ENTIRE PALLETT of the stuff on him and said “Take It!”
So it was like… Matt was reading my mind.
I always picked Little Orphan Orange becuase I always liked Orange flavor and I had somehow embedded in my head that i was adopted.

On a lighter note- the Rite Aid here was selling Icee Flavor pops, ninetynine cents for eight Slushy treats… and you know,they were so delicious and SLUSHY! Just like an Icee.
Like- you couldn’t squeeze it out in one piece cause they somehow tinkered with the liquid so it wouldn’t completely freeze!

totally fucking awesome.

Ghosted by kittymao @ 07/02/2008 12:55 PM EDT


Hey, do you guys remember a triangular-ish slushy juice pop thing? I know they were made by Minute Maid but I can’t remember the exact name. We used to have them in the elementary school cafeteria.

Ghosted by Annette @ 07/02/2008 1:01 PM EDT


Oh hey, I found it! They were called Minute Maid Fruit Juicee. Did anybody else eat those at school?

Ghosted by Annette @ 07/02/2008 1:05 PM EDT


I think I ate those Minute Maid pops at camps and stuff. They were good! I think they may sell them at WalMart.

Ghosted by gingela5 @ 07/02/2008 1:35 PM EDT


They do. I have some in my freezer right now. They come in orange, cherry and grape

Ghosted by earthwormgoddess @ 07/02/2008 1:57 PM EDT


I would just like to thank whoever posted the info about the entire run of Freaks and Geeks on YouTube (Goob?)…..I am sad I only have one episode left, but the ride has been awesome!! I must have been busy during the show’s WAY too short run to watch it.

Ghosted by Loneman1 @ 07/02/2008 2:11 PM EDT


Wow, thanks Annette for mentioning that. I remember eating those in school, right after my “Texas Toast” and that big ass rectangular slice of pizza they would give us.

So, if the cracker-half and the Simpsons doughnut are hanging out together, I wonder whatever happened to the shrunken head made out of the apple? You guys remember that?

Ghosted by DJ D @ 07/02/2008 2:29 PM EDT


I think my all-time favorite frozen treat ever is Push-Ups. Everybody wins with sherbet being pushed through a cardboard tube (roughly the size of a toilet paper roll) by a plastic base. Of course sherbet is one of those things I can only eat so often because of how rich and sweet it is. It seems when the opportunity comes every couple of years or so that I endulge in a Push-up I’m as giddy as I was when i could eat 3 or 4 in one sitting as a child. :D

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 07/02/2008 2:36 PM EDT


Ah yes, rectangle pizza. Also, I remember a few times we had octagonal pizza which for some reason always tasted like tacos to me.

Ghosted by Annette @ 07/02/2008 2:45 PM EDT


Happy belated Canada Day to all of you that live in America’s hat. I present this, in your honor:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt1_6uz_sVU

Much love :)

Ghosted by Teddy Ray @ 07/02/2008 2:51 PM EDT


Were mexican pizzas in the shape of octagons in every school? Thats the same shape they were in my school too. I always found it odd.

Ghosted by Jack @ 07/02/2008 2:52 PM EDT


Rectangle Pizza, prison’s finest delicacy at convenient school cafeteria locations. Fridays only.

Ghosted by doho in the summer @ 07/02/2008 2:53 PM EDT


DJ D-
I meant the amoxicillin.

Anyone here get Dr. Mario Online Rx yet? Is it worth the 10 bucks?

Ghosted by Kid Nicky @ 07/02/2008 3:04 PM EDT


31 days of updates!?!?! My excitement knows no ends

Ghosted by Nizz @ 07/02/2008 3:15 PM EDT


The rectangle pizza with sausage tasted like what a wet dog smells like. These were updated by the time i got to 4th grade to pepperoni in which the pepperonis were cut in slivers as opposed to the traditional circular slices. Eventually when i got the high school we had Domino’s pizza and when I worked for Domino’s after high school I cursed those lunch ladies for making us make sooooo many pizzas and always bitching about the slightest imperfections. They were getting large pizzas at 5 bucks a pop so they could just stick it right where it smells funny. The octagonal “Mexican pizzas” were called “fiestados” at my school and were infinitely better then the wet dog pizzas albeit still kinda shitty.

Ghosted by phunqsauce @ 07/02/2008 3:16 PM EDT


Totally unrelated to anything, but…Review the World: your kitten is frickin’ ADORABLE! Thank god I was sitting down while I looked at those pictures, or I’d have fallen over. :)

Ghosted by Nicole @ 07/02/2008 3:39 PM EDT


I definately remember the school pizzas. One of my favorite things there was this gelatin/jelly/jam thing that had fruit in it and they served it in a cup. That’s the best way I can describe it.

One of the NASTIEST things they served was something called a piroski. It was bread that was stuffed with bland hamburger. It made the bread gummy and all of the kethup in the world couldn’t save it.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 07/02/2008 3:42 PM EDT


Annette: Yup, that’s me. Look for a post on “Sunrise Mall” soon.
Ryane: I’ve never tasted amoxicillin or penicillin, I’m allergic.
phunqsauce: Any pizza that the cafeteria served before high school was really nasty. The ones in junior high were baked so much there was no grease or softness and was like biting into sheetrock, and the ones in elementary school were rectangular and just had the worse smell ever. I didn’t WANT to try them.

Ghosted by Jonah Norason @ 07/02/2008 3:52 PM EDT


MATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, not sure if you will even read this, seeing as I’m post 234 or so. However, if you do…. You totally need to do a post on the Dancing Slimer you got a few years back for christmas. I’ve been wanting to see a post on that bitch for awhile.

Ghosted by The Dude @ 07/02/2008 3:53 PM EDT


Phunqsauce, do you mean “diced”?

Ghosted by doho in the summer @ 07/02/2008 3:57 PM EDT


To be honest, I miss the school pizzas. We even had breakfast pizzas in the mornings that were pretty good.

Going back to the liquid medicine discussion, Dimetapp is the reason I can’t drive anything grape flavored. I can’t stand it because EVERYTHING grape flavored tastes like Dimetapp. I used to get a does every day when I was little. I didn’t get sick often, but I’m pretty sure it’s effectiveness is diminished when you drink it like water. :) Oh well. I never minded the taste of Amoxicilin either.

Is it 5:00 yet?

Ghosted by BgBlyStyle @ 07/02/2008 4:13 PM EDT


I’ve tried to drive a LOT of grape flavored things, and they just don’t go that fast! My last post sucks! lol

Ghosted by BgBlyStyle @ 07/02/2008 4:15 PM EDT


The amoxicillin I had when I was a kid was always banana flavored, I loved it,

BgBlyStyle: yes. yes it is.

Ghosted by JoshC @ 07/02/2008 4:16 PM EDT


MattI’m expecting an update by the time I get home tonight around 8 ish….I still dig the soda ice pops….I had Dr Pepper ones a few weeks ago.

And yes Freaks and geeks had the little hug drinks on the show…I was watching all the episodes on Youtube over the weekend

Ghosted by mandy_Reeves @ 07/02/2008 4:20 PM EDT


Ahh I remember cafeteria Pizza. I actually like it. I like pretty much everything my school served. Somethings I likebetter than others, but it was all good overall. My fav things my school served was their Pizza, Cheeseburgers and Chicken Nuggets. There were a few things they served that I found absoluetly repulsive, the worst of which by far was their hot dogs ! YUK!!!

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/02/2008 4:34 PM EDT


Mandy: I shall deliver pretty close to that, if not slightly later. Had two looong work days, but no offices for me until next week once I get home. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/02/2008 4:40 PM EDT


Let me attest: I work at a school and they still have rectangle and octogan taco pizza days ;)

Ghosted by Shuanfu @ 07/02/2008 5:01 PM EDT


The hamburgers at my school? Couldn’t stand those bastards. I think they’re part of the reason I hated hamburgers for the first 17 years of my life. They smelled like sweaty socks, had an awful texture, soggy buns and were just…ughhh.

Ghosted by Annette @ 07/02/2008 5:03 PM EDT


My favorite day in the grade school cafeteria was Frito chilli pie, corn and a cinnamon roll. A nice balanced meal…

Ghosted by gingela5 @ 07/02/2008 5:27 PM EDT


I liked the burgers at school-
I loved ALL the cafeteria meals at school.
The corn in the paper bowls, the choccie mookie, the chicken sammiches…
In fact, I sometimes crave it- I learned that 7-11 sells the same kinds of burgers that the Cafeterias serve.

And this may be weird- but I kind of like visiting people in the hospital cause it means we MAY be able to eat at the Hospital Cafeteria.

Ghosted by kittymao @ 07/02/2008 5:33 PM EDT


I’m pretty sure that it was the Teen Girl Squad that coined the term “Breadtangle of Pizza.”

I was always a fan of the Chicken Nuggets at my schools. I got to college and they were never the same.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 07/02/2008 6:00 PM EDT


I’m so happy I’m not the only one here who actually liked the cafeteria pizza. Just about the only thing that stands out in my mind as being something I didn’t like at school was the yeast rolls. When cooked, they were pretty good, but the ladies in the cafeteria had a habit of not cooking the bottom half somehow so the bottom layer of the thing literally was still doughy and sometimes cold. That was just gross.

Ghosted by DJ D @ 07/02/2008 6:05 PM EDT


I pretty much loved all hot lunch at school. The BEST was the fried chicken patty sandwiches they had. Obviously horrible for you but they are still something I miss.

Ghosted by drew do @ 07/02/2008 6:14 PM EDT


Summer Mega-Fail!!!

Ghosted by Brian @ 07/02/2008 6:28 PM EDT


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