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X-E’s ’08 Summer Megaparty: Otter Pops.

Welcome to X-Entertainment's ill-prepared 2008 Summer Megaparty: Your special hub for all kinds of summery goodness and stuff. THE RULES ARE SIMPLE! I hereby vow to post at least once a day for the entire month of July...possibly longer if I don't hate writing by August.

I honestly have no idea what I'm going to write about this month. Like, no clue at all. I had a few ideas for semi-special blog posts that have been rattling around my head for the past few months, but for the most part, I'm totally gonna wing this. Meaning? I'm probably going to end up living by the letter of the law and not the spirit. All I said was that I would post everyday. I didn't say what I would post. If I sketch a retarded penguin on a bank deposit slip, scan it and publish it, I've technically made good on my promise.

I'll try not to do that, though. Not often, at least.

I guess I didn't do much to pump you up for the month to follow with what's written above, and in a case such as this, I turn to a reliant, rushed graphic to do the hard sell.


Are you excited now? At least a little more? Good. I worked really hard on finding the right picture of a watermelon.

I'm happy to do the Megaparty, because I'm not sure I'd stay conscious of the fact that it's even summertime without it. Summer definitely loses its status as "favorite season" as you grow older, when it becomes indicative of nothing more than a change in climate. That's a far cry from the lost days of having two months to do nothing but play tag and trick your friends into stepping on dog shit.

I don't expect that too many of the Megaparty's posts will be actively seasonal, because if I had to inject sunshine into every entry, I wouldn't just go bananas...I'd turn into one. I would transform into a giant banana, and this isn't good for any of us because bananas cannot write, let alone work a computer. Still, expect a fair share of entries that at least nominally persuade you to make the most of your summer, even if all you're really doing is eating popsicles when they're in season.


I was surprised to find boxes of Otter Pops on sale at a local pharmacy. We've never had Otter Pops around these parts, and my only prior experience with their icy, sugary glories was at my brother's family's former house somewhere in Jersey. They had like seven thousand Otter Pops stacked in a garage freezer with positively no explanation given. I should've investigated this, but I guess I was more about eating Otter Pops than finding out why they had seven thousand of them. It's hard to connect criminal activity to Otter Pops, when you have 7,000 of 'em tucked away in a hidden freezer, the reason likely isn't appropriate for children of all ages.

Though I was quick to grab a box and make the embarrassing stroll up to the pharmacy cashier with nothing but Otter Pops and a pack of Bic pens in my fluorescent handcart, I don't have the nostalgic attachment to these things that so many others probably do. To me, they're just Fla-Vor-Ices with pool dick and kooky characters on the condoms.

As a child, my favorite Fla-Vor-Ice (or any similar brand of icy pop things) colors were red and green. While I indeed preferred red for its actual flavor, it's also true that I liked the way other colors tasted way better than green. Still, I always picked red or green, or both if nobody was looking. Simple reason why:


Red and green Fla-Vor-Ice pops were my own personal Vader and Luke lightsabers, new and improved with edibility. The similarity in color is truly remarkable. There are many shades of red and many shades of green, but somehow, red and green Fla-Vor-Ices are a Photoshop-dropper-match for Vader and Luke's lightsaber colors. In a world full of ugly coincidences, it was nice to find one so beautiful.

PS: Longtime least favorite frozen icy pop color? Pink. Hate pink. Still don't know what in the fuck it's supposed to taste like. My running assumption's been that food conglomerates sought to mimic the color and taste of that horrible liquid cure-all doctors force on children for every possible ailment. I still don't know what it was named. I just called it "pink medicine," typically with a frightened tone.

Tomorrow on X-E's Summer Megaparty:

You might want to do a F5-style refresh on the blog. I did some light graphics tweaks that you may not see if your browser insists on being a cache Nazi. Rest of the graphics and the 2008 edition of X-E's Summer Jukebox coming this week!

Posted by Matt on 07/01/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 283 comments

waiterbot.
cracker.
I dont know what to say…

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 07/01/2008 2:06 AM


YES! I’m going to kick off Summer with this article and “The Burning.”

Please don’t burn yourself out for halloween matt!

Chestnuts roasted by scamp @ 07/01/2008 2:08 AM


Best. Penguin. Ever.

I particularly fancy his hair.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 07/01/2008 2:12 AM


LOL, I asked Norb what you meant Jay! Norb you are a very straightfoward individual. I would have used backchannels and deception, but you just asked!

^________^

Chestnuts roasted by Neg @ 07/01/2008 2:33 AM


Woo hoo! Beginning of the Summer Megaparty!

You really dont have Otter Pops up there? They all over the place down here in VA. We have many varieties of freeze pops.

Now I want a Klondike Bar.

Chestnuts roasted by Brian @ 07/01/2008 2:52 AM


Happy Summer MegaParty everyone!
And happy birthday, Leghia!
I’M SO PUMPED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mmmmmm… Otter Pops… I think I might go buy some. My favorite has to be pink, red, and blue. Greens ok, Matt… but it better not get between me and pink. And AWESOME Penguin drawing, Matt. How much did it cost, by the way? And now I know his address… MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! So… why is Waiterbot holding a cracker? Now for a small survey… what should be my next Flavor X-Plosion expierement? The choices are…
Diet Dr. Pepper
Pepsi
Sierra Mist
AriZona: Kiwi Strawberry
Gaterade: Melon
Gaterade: Grape
Diet Coke
Fresca: Raspberry
Jones Soda: Surgar Free Cola
Also could I get Smash Bros. Brawl friend codes and Wii numbers? Mine are:
SSBB: 0602-7664-3101
Wii: 0536-4005-2604-3964

Chestnuts roasted by Aaron @ 07/01/2008 2:56 AM


How much did the Otter Pops cost, I ment.

Chestnuts roasted by Aaron @ 07/01/2008 3:00 AM


ALRIGHT, SUMMER MEGA PARTY HAS OFFICIALLY STARTED. WHOOOO !!! =D I just woke up from a nap. I’d go back to sleep but I can’t right now. Oh well, I got to read the new post. =) I love those ice things too. Didn’t really have a fav when I was a kid, nor do I have one now. Theyr’e all pretty good.

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/01/2008 3:01 AM


Finer-ly, frequent updates. Though I’d prefer actual articles, I’m just going to have to accept X-E is in permanent retirement age and now exists as a blog, period.

I see Otter Pops all over the place around Portland, and I always have. And sure enough, they are most frequently seen jutting out of the mouths of children’s dirty faces in summer.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 07/01/2008 3:08 AM


Don’t worry Mars Matt will write some new articles. In the meantime enjoy the Summer Mega Party

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/01/2008 3:38 AM


Jippity-doo! MEGAPARTY!!!

I’m still at the station as I write this. Finished up my show a little while ago and as I was packing up I decided I couldn’t wait till I got home to check in. Now here I am, got the station on auto pilot, and am enjoying the Mega-goodness. For the record, my least favorite flavor has always been blue. Blue?? What the hell flavor is that?

Pool dick is the funniest thing I’ve heard all week.

2nd Funniest? I not fly but I do other thing.

God, I love this place.

Speaking of Box 23, my prediction is there’s some meaning in the Penguin’s account number. You can’t tell me that’s random. Something tells me if I get stuck on a deserted island, I’m going to need to remember that particular sequence.

I’m off to buy a lottery ticket…

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 07/01/2008 4:04 AM


SUMMER MEGA PARTY YIPPIE! Oh and HAPPY CANADA DAY! Think I’ll raid the kids Freezie Pops today in honor of this first article! Enjoy your day off fellow Canadian XErs.

Chestnuts roasted by GREGOR @ 07/01/2008 5:37 AM


What’s canada day ?

Chestnuts roasted by ULTRAMAN @ 07/01/2008 5:55 AM


You never know, Matt could have very well used his real account number by habit.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 07/01/2008 5:57 AM


Canada day is a celebration of the first 24 hours Canada ever managed to go without asking for help running their country from the U.S.A, AKA king awesome land.

In other words, I don’t know.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 07/01/2008 6:00 AM


Happy Birthday Leigha!!! And you think 23 sucks wait until you turn 26 :)

Ahhh yes Otter pops, a cheap way to enjoy your summer a little more. My favorite part is when it’s melted a little at the bottom because when that happens I suck the syrup through the ice and drink it. I don’t wait for that to happen it just happens. But then there is always plain ice when I am done that I throw away. Yes I suck that hard! :D I like all of them except Grape. I miss the LONG caractures of the characters along the tube. Nice signature Matt!

Your story about eating these at your brother’s house reminds me of an old lady I think it was my Grandma’s aunt or something we visited once. She was hard of hearing so bad she turned down the volume on the tv because she said what’s the point if you can’t hear it. Some of her grandkids went to visit her and do chores for her like pull weeds and stuff like that in her backyard. They asked for some disney popsicles that later she asked if I wanted one. I think I was the only one that went with my Grandma to go visit that time. Maybe my sister went too. But anyway the popsicles were the creamier kind that were shaped as disney characters like mickey and donald I think I only had them once or twice. I can’t remember if they had fruit juice in them or were artificial flavored. I wasn’t used to the decent popcicles just the otter pop style or the twin pop style because my Grandma is a cheapo. If anyone remembers those cool if not well it was nice telling the story.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 07/01/2008 6:53 AM


I think I really need to get high on Otter Pops! The signs are all there. I blog about the pops, then I find another blogger who also wrote about the pops and now Matt starts off the Summer Mega Party with a post about the Otter Pops! It’s a sign I tell ya’!!!

Chestnuts roasted by DC @ 07/01/2008 7:08 AM


Wow…I was JUST telling my wife about Otter Pops yesterday. Except…I was speaking of the flavored sugar water drinks made by the same company that was sold by the case at Sam’s Club. I wonder if they still make that. If I ever become diabetic, I’ll know who to blame (besides myself).

Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 07/01/2008 7:28 AM


Rev. Pool dick refers to a mans penis shrinking in the cold water. And this analogy is artfully used to demonstrate that otter pops are short and stubby, whilst Fla-vor-ice are the long hard lean porn star pops.

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 07/01/2008 7:30 AM


Hurrah! Only a few short days until the Friday the 13th entry is bumped from the RSS feed. It was a good entry, but it’ll be nice to be able to check for updates without making the “ch ch ch ah ah ah” noise under my breath.

Happy birthday, Leigha!

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/01/2008 7:30 AM


Oh, and if we’re doing the whole Box 23 thing, the file name of the Waiterbot photo refers to birgus latro, known to you and me and dear Aunt Maude as the terrifying coconut crab.

Ominous.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/01/2008 7:34 AM


I was kind of grumpy this morining, but then I come into work and realize it’s the start of the MegaParty! To top it off, the first post is about one of my all-time favorite summer things! I must know if there are any Otter Pops in the Baltimore area. It would be awesome if I could find them before Friday so I could eat them whilst watching the fireworks. It’ll be like I’m 7 again! :-)

Chestnuts roasted by DarkSideofBrightness @ 07/01/2008 7:45 AM


So Waiterbot’s a coconut crab then? I thought he was, well, a robot. Heh, I like to read the adventure aloud and do the voice impressions (when other’s aren’t around of course, or just quietly when others are), and I’ve been making Waiterbot sound like the robotic voice reader on the old Macs.

Chestnuts roasted by The Real Andrew @ 07/01/2008 8:05 AM


Just judging from the heat it’s certainly time for the summer Megaparty. It’s so hot!

Here in Germany these things are called “Stangeneis” (Stick ice) and quite common around summer. We have some in our freezer but only lame white ones, I think. I like red best, too.

Chestnuts roasted by Kapprika @ 07/01/2008 8:44 AM


We never had Otter pops that I recall. Always had Flav-or-ice. Of course, I never had these, personally, at my house. No, my parents never bought those. I had eskimo pies and push-ups. Flav-or-ice was always when you went to some kids birthday party in the hot summer heat, and one of the parents had brought these things in a cooler, and of course by the time yours truly got HIS Flav-or-ice pop it was halfway melted already and just turned into a slushy sticky mess.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…. :)

Yay! Megaparty!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 07/01/2008 8:53 AM


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