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06/13/2008: Ch ch ch ah ah ah.

It's Friday the 13th! It's ten thousand degrees out, but it's still Friday the 13th! Though the collective attention of everyone seems to be focused on that The Happening movie, I dare declare that M. Night Shablahblahyaha's FIRST R-RATED MOVIE, FIRST R-RATED MOVIE EVER, HOLY FLAMING TABLES, FIRST R-RATED MOVIE IN THE HISTORY OF M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN, IT'S M. NIGHT'S FIRST FORAY INTO R-RATED MOTION PICTURE MAKING, IT'S

M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN'S FIRST R-RATED MOVIE

Ah fuck that and fuck M. Night Shyamalan. Friday the 13th will always belong to Jason Voorhees. Camp Crystal Lake's number one son isn't one for abject chatting, but I wouldn't be surprised if he broke his silence with a bloody, obscenity-laced tirade about how the world completely neglected to kiss his feet on this, his most holy day. Seriously, I just went through the TV listings, and there isn't a single F13 movie being played on any channel tonight. Not even a shitty channel. I could watch seventy-four episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond, but no Jason. On Friday the God Damned 13th. Criminal. Criminal, cock-like behavior from those responsible.

In lieu of watching Jason tear apart happy campers, I provide consolation in the form of a Matchbox car with a thirty-seven foot Jason Voorhees attacking it.

From Matchbox's 1999 Character Car Collection, it's the Friday the 13th…uh, character car. Basically, Matchbox took a varied and surprising bunch of movies (everything from A Nightmare On Elm Street to The Mask), and celebrated them with movie-themed Matchbox cars topped with movie-themed PVC-style figurines. And thus we now know the definitive halfway point between stupid and awesome.

The results were largely ridiculous, but on a night when I can't even persuade AMC to show me the cut-down version of the famous scene from F13 Part V where the Michael Jackson knockoff sings a duet with his girlfriend while shitting in an outhouse, I'll take what I can get.

The toy provides an unintended montage of Jason's many movies. The package photo depicts him as he was seen in Jason Goes To Hell, but the figure shown above was clearly inspired by Jason's appearance in Friday the 13th: Part 3. I understand that this is of little consequence to you, but I didn't feel right not pointing it out. Furthering the issue is the fact that a Part 3 Jason is shown attacking a "Camp Counselor" truck, even though there were no counselors in that movie. Okay, now I'm just being a brat.

Posted by Brat @ 12:08 pm [666 Comments]

I was saddened to find out that Jason is permanently attached to the Matchbox car, but I suppose it's for the best considering that he wasn't constructed to stand upright without it. All told, I'm kind of glad to own this thing, though I'm not sure why I do or how it even got into my office. Maybe I'm just blocking out the memory of paying 15 bucks on eBay to have a forty-cent Matchbox car mailed to me via USPS Priority Mail.

Happy Friday the 13th. Pop in the DVDs if you have 'em. Check out X-E's old-to-older collection of Jason-related articles with the conveniently underlined links below:

The Many Faces of Jason - Jason & Freddy Spitball Toys - Alice Cooper? - Jason Takes Arsenio - The 3D Effects of Part 3 - The Wallflowers - Part 2 Tribute - Jason Kiddy Costume - Part IV Tribute
I wish it was 40 degrees. I just gave the sun the finger.

While it's no Friday the 13th, Sleepaway Camp is playing on IFC tonite at midnite.

Happy F13! Any marathons on tonight? I'm with you on the sun thing. Been record heat here the past month. 100 degrees for the most part

Ready for fall and Halloween.

No linkage to the great F13 blogs last year? Then again, it wouldn't make sense unless you were watching the movies while simultaneously reading them. Kinda like Rifftrax.

From the last blog: I met the Iron Shiek earlier! He was awesome, and even got a picture with him.

Oops I totally missed you saying there aren't. I skipped that because I thought it was still about M. Night and I really hate that guy. My bad.

Yeah this isn't such a great start of the weekend. No F13 on TV, I'm still hanging onto the last of this cold, and I spent yet ANOTHER fucking Friday dialing up all my friends asking if they want to go adventuring tomorrow, and all of them are working. WTF am I supposed to do, hop a bus to AC alone?!

Is it just me, or is every Matchbox Collectables package in the world in so so condition?

GREAT song, Matt! Really enjoying it.
"He's back! He's the man behind the mask! And he's out of control!" CH CH CH AH AH AH AH

Not one person cared that it was F/13th today at work. I had to point it out to everyone. Depressing. Maybe I should go download some Jason flicks.

"…where the Michael Jackson knockoff sings a duet with his girlfriend while shitting in an outhouse…"

I'm glad I'm not the only one to think that the Happening commercials were weird to point out that its R-rated. Who gives a fuck? He just hasn't been the same since Mel Gibson raped him during the filming of Signs. Alien probe he said! Be good research for the movie he said! That poor, poor anal raped bastard.

I hate it that people keep trying to sell me on this movie by telling me it's rated R. So effin what. I find his stuff to be too predictable at this point besides his obvious attempt to do otherwise. Like Robot Chicken said: "What a twist!"

I'll be seeing Hulk before the weekend is over. After which I'll feel an immediate need to go out and buy those vamped up, softer, awesomer Hulk hands I keep seeing everywhere and then Hulk smash fucking everything including old ladies, small mammals, and beach balls.

Happy Friday the 13th. I hope everyone's rocking some air conditioning at full blast.

I remember seeing those Matchbox cars at KB Toys back in the day, I think there was also a Freddy.

i'm getting ready to get off work and go see Incredible Hulk.. - i'll check in on the Friday the 13th maddneses later tonight.. - have fun!

I'm watching F13 part 5 right now, they are playing up to part 8. Yay Scream channel!

Ok, so as I can't conceivably smack so many people, and because you know, you're in different countries and stuff, I recant my previous statement.

I liked the six sense and I thought the village was ehhh ok but I don't see why alot of people like M.Night so much.

I was called in early and spent most of the day at work, which was no big deal since I didn't have any plans for this morning anyway. When I came out, it was pleasantly in the upper 70s, with a nice breeze.

MATT….I didn't bother to check the previous comments, but let me know if you want me to scan the note book cover with the Jamesway Price tag on it.

I have to scan it anyway to send to label scar or one of the other retail nostalgia sites.

Man, I just realized that I have nobody to watch horror with…the boyfriend thinks its a waste of time, and the girlfriends are 'too scared' - they wouldn't even go to see PG-13 films with me that looked 'scary' to them. Horror alone sucks. Now I'm bummed right out.

I think I will give M.Night ONE LAST CHANCE mostly because I love Marky Mark. This is it, though. I still haven't forgiven him for getting all preachy in Signs.

Well, guess i get the award for lamest Friday the 13th. I ordered the box set, got it in the mail, and promptly left it packed in a box. I could be watching Friday 13th goodness, but no, I'm typing instead.

i totally agree, any movie with marky mark cant be all bad. i will proclaim with no shame that i used to decorate my bedroom walls with his calvin klein magazine ads.

i got married on friday, october 13th 2006, so today is my 20 month wedding anniversary. my husband doesnt find that at all interesting.

For some reason Friday the 13th is a good day for me. For example: I just bought a new Zippo because they were ridiculously cheap at Walgreen's and I had a $5 off coupon. For as much as I'd like to watch some movies, I'm way to tired and I'm giving the finger to the rain and flooding in Iowa as well as the sun for making it humid.

I just got done watchin F13 parts 1&2 ! I'm about to pop part 3 in. Iv'e been watchin em in the dark too. I find it adds to the mood . =)

Didn't the first "Friday the 13th" movie actually take place on Friday, June 13th?

You know what? I've never actually seen the entire first F13 movie. In fact, I saw the most of it when we were watching it here last year, but missed the first half or so….

I don't like the first F13 movie - it totally get chucked from my marathons despite loving Betsy. Just too old-feeling for my tastes, no Jason, gross snake kill scene, etc.

The where should I start? I remember you talking about the one with the arrow or something going through a head as being really fun…sadly, the only one's I've seen all the way through are "Takes Manhattan" and "Goes to Hell"…

I actually have yet to watch any F13 movie all the way through. I was waiting in line at the Kwik-E-Mart on epic thread night so I missed out. I flove that Alice Cooper song though, and sing it frequently. I can't believe they're not playing any of the movies tonight!!!
Besides the "first R-rated movie" bit, the funniest bit about the Happening commercials is where they say "From the director of The Sixth Sense and Signs". No mention of his two MOST RECENT movies, huh? Big show of faith, there.
Happy Friday everybody!

I spent last Friday the 13th watching these movies and reading the comments with you guys {even though I didnt participate} and was eagerly awaiting tonight to do the same….and all of a sudden the tv executives dont care about it anymore. I figured there had to be something somewhere. USA, AMC, SPIKE, FX, someone had to be showing a F13 movie. And they are nowhere to be found. What a depressing evening.

Okay, I just made some phone calls and I'm going to go rent part 6. Anyone who has part 6, I'll be watching at the top of the hour. Anyone with me?

I'm finishing up part 5. I started it at the outhouse scene and it's just doing it's thing now.

Dude. Thank you for posting tonight. I have been reading your blogs for a very long time…years…and I am so happy that you are still rockin on. You are a major inspiration to a lot of writers out there.

A BUNCH of great and not so great horror films available online, lets just pick one to watch.

I'm going to brave the insane rain to go out to my garage and poke through boxes that I have been too lazy to unpack and find my F13 6 VHS.

The outhouse scene was one of the scenes that solidified my love for F13 when I was younger.
Ooh baby.

Am I the only one that clicked on the 666 link? Man behind the mask is a brilliant song. Kep on rocking man. And for all of you that didn't click on the 666 link….click on it and download one of the coolest songs to come out of the 80's.

I have this awful Maxine desk calendar at work that I inherited because I never bothered to buy a better one. The cartoons are so painfully unfunny. Anyway, today's chuckle fest was "No matter how many channels you have, the only thing good on will be on a channel you don't have!". And I thought that was a weird choice for Friday the 13th, but as it turns out…luckily thanks to the wonders of YouTube and copyright infringement I'm all set to fire up Part 6.

Hey Matt, is the Halloween jukebox still up somewhere it will make up somewhat for the lack of horror films tonight.

Oh yeah, M. Night Shamalamadingdong. Eh, I liked The Sixth Sense a lot, but other than that his movies have disappointed me greatly. Lady in the Water was a piece of trash, and ever since then I haven't wanted to see any more of his movies. Though a lot of people have said that Unbreakable is good.

Anyway, it's 70 degrees and stormy here. It was cloudy all day. Pretty appropriate for Friday the 13th, I guess. XD

Ugh, I just realized that I have a family thing early in the morning tomorrow. This puts a serious cramp on my plans, however small they were.

WOW CHECK THIS OUT! It looks like someone put ALL the Friday the 13th movies online

I loved Unbreakable and Signs, and I like the Sixth Sense. I remember being super excited about and then so disappointed by The Village. Maybe it would hold up if I watched it again but it was just so ham-handed…and then he did that SciFi channel stuff and it just came off as so pretentious. I never got around to seeing LitW. It would take Iron Man level word of mouth to get me to see this new one, I think.
Too bad, Matt. Early things are the worst kind of things.

Well, I just got done watchin F13 part 3 and listenin to he's back the man behind the mask by Alice cooper ! All in all , I had a GREAT Friday the 13th ! =D

I can never watch the opening scene without thinking about mr. kotter.
And doho. do me a favor, when I eventually come back from the dead(it could happen) at least have the courtesy to tell me I have worms all over my face.

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! It won't @#$!ing play for me! I was looking forward to watching this one again too!

Dan, ELG's link seemed good, but I was missing the plugin. YouTube's got it too.

Long time no post, I know…but I have been going through my comics lately deciding on their various fates, and came across something I thought Matt or someone else here would be interested in. A copy of Thundercats Magazine from Spring 1988. Its in good condition, all intact including the Tygra/Monkian poster that's also the cover. Whoever wants it can have it for $5 including postage.

I like Unbreakable and the Sixth Sense (a well-known psychic once said that that's exactly how she sees), but the ending of Signs was a disappointment.

Gonna have to try YouTube. I clicked ELG's link and got to the site but it's not playing the movie for me.

Happy Friday the 13th everybody! My cable is fucked–for some reason I can either have cable TV or the internet (and my phone, which is a VOIP line) but not both at the same time–so I won't be watching TV. But I did try playing the NES Friday the 13th game. Does anybody remember it? And if you do recall it, did anyone ever finish it? I had forgotten how tough and–how shall I say this?–lacking (ie, sucky) it was.

no sweat buddy, I hope the link works.
doho, where exactly are you in the movie? I'm going to have to switch to watching it on my comp. curse the man who invented automatic tracking!! useless.

I'm two minutes behind the hour, due to an accidental pause. So it's 12:26 and I'm 24 minutes in.

Haha I just passed the farthead bit. I'll probably get the timing off a bit since it's all chopped up on YouTube.

Despite never finishing it, I LOVED that Friday the 13th NES game…I never really understood it either, to be honest. I just liked the music and the creepiness and the scare factor. Good times.

Hey, everyone. It's been a very long time since I've posted here. I know a lot of people are down on M. Night Shyamalan after Lady in the Water. In fact, I almost talked myself into seeing The Happening today, but then I just read the synopsis on Wikipedia instead. I don't want to give anything away for those who might possibly be interested, but it sounds like the movie is sheer crap. I think Shyamalan has bought into the hype that surrounded him following The Sixth Sense. It was enough to make Newsweek proclaim him "the new Spielberg".
At this point, I would like to make a small confession: Unlike the rest of our planet, I have never seen The Sixth Sense. Now, I'm not sure I even want to anymore.

Dan, 2 minutes behind the hour. So 35 at this second. You just missed musical sex.

I've totally neglected to throw on Part 6, so instead I will offer random trivia about the movie:

- Tommy Jarvis is the name of the lead character, and this was the third person to play him. The first was a young Corey Feldman. The second was nobody you have ever heard of or will hear of again.

- This film is generally considered the launching point for the supernatural Jason we now know today. I prefer the Jason from 2-4, but yeah.

The had a whole RV to themselves and they had to drive way out into the woods to bang? Don't they care about their carbon footprint at all?

After years of trying, Jason has finally avenged his mom who was killed by an RV.

Today's secret word is paraskavedekatriaphobia. Does it mean anything to you? Not to me, I completely forgot, but then I'm not superstitious.

If I woke up to a little girl syanding over me with a bloody machete I would completly lose my shit..
but that could be due to the favt that I'm also a little girl.

Honestly, how blind are these people? I think I'd notice a guy in a hockey mask outside my window!

Has a phone ever worked in the history of horror movies??
well besides those couple of horror movies that focused solely on demon phones from, but now your just being silly…

I like how he nails him right between the eyes and then we switch to a shot of a dart board. Heavy symbolism, the director of this movie was very deep in the craft of story telling.

If you guys want to do another one on youtube from the start after everyone is done watching six, I can watch another I suppose. As long as we start before 2 and desiginate an exact starting time.

I'm cool with that, shall we say meet at youtubes place at ohhh around 3:30??
whatever my 3:30 is in your crazy land of time differences is beyonf my comprehension skills at this hour.

Well if you mean my 1:30, I won't be quite done yet with 6. :45 would be better. What are we watching? Not 7 or 3, that was last year.

Throwing a knife into someones head is one of the little nuances of 80's cinema that is lost on todays directors…it's sad really.

I'd say 5 but that would break dans heart…
Jason is the king of head crushing.

How many shots does it take to get to the middle of Jason? Let's find out..1, 2, 3……

El Loco, we're watching 5 next and we're watching we're all going to try to start at a set time. Let's say :35? 45? What's good for you guys?

Let's just let everyone finish and then set a time. I'm done personally. I don't know how I got so far ahead.

Doho, this YouTube that I'm watching replays the last 15 or so seconds between clips, so it adds up I guess.

Tommy survived the choking and drowning only to be burned to death. We'll miss him.

Oh my god, I love this song infinity times more now that I've actually watched the movie.

So here's my question….why doesn't Jason just pull himself down the chain and slip it over his head?

Ooh thanks for the playlist. I'm try to relocate my and my cheeseburger to the other room in the next…three minutes.

Chains are jasons natural enemy, they are his kryptonite,
He simply cannot figure them out, its all here in this book I wrote.

If you're not looking at the screen and if you didnt know they were digging up the corpse of a demon fish boy you'd probvly think it was strangely erotic.

Tommy acts like me in high school..
haha I kid I kid, I swear I was quite popular..
*sniff..

Squee I'm going to grow a pervy moustache just for you.
Not sure if thats flattering or disturbing, or an exciting mix of both.

No I'm not scared of spiders I'm scared of creepy little kids who hide in closets!

Some notes: Apparently the director was both a gorehound and a bit of a pervert, there's a lot of cut sex and a ton of cut gore. The movie ratings folks were pissed because they gave Part IV a generous R thinking they wouldn't have to deal with this anymore, so when they came back for Part V, the censoring was brutal.

I wouldn't mind having some sort of trick mirror with an axe weilding Jason in it.

Okay, entering Pt4/9, i got to say already this is the most underrated Friday the 13th.

I didn't watch any Jason movies but I watched a ton of Street Fighter anime!

I watched a few eps of SF2v in the morning and the Street Fighter Zero movie at night. I guess spending F13 with Ryu and co. isn't too bad. And hey, Vega (or Balrog in Japan) is a little bit like Jason.

Hulk Smash? I'm seeing that tomorrow… I just finished The Last Crusade, but I guess that has nothing to do with F13.

When they filmed that scene did they just throw that fucking cat into the table? His head clearly hit the edge.

actually just in case there a misunderstanding, I would like to point or thats a quote from dr. rockso, I am not a crack addict…

Just got done watching part 4. AWESOME flick ! Man, Jason is just so COOL ! Oh , and personally I think Jason has always been supernatural. My reason for thinking this is because even in the early flicks he was incredibly strong, durable, and survived wounds that Shouldv'e been fatal but WEREN'T ! The more montrous and zombie like Jason looks, the BETTER !

So thaaats what you do to get those scary visions to go away, attempt to push your eyeballs straight through the back of your head!
OF COURSE!!!

I had to go into the kitchen to fix a drink, did I miss another gratuitous tit shot?

Finally a Matchbox car worth a damn. Well, the Dukes of Hazzard General Lee one was cool, but.. I think Ertl made that. Ah well, glad someone appreciates National Good Luck Day!

my post weren't showing up. I tried to point out that the smoking cigar guy was Sherriff Grandpa Munster.

Ben: i saw Incredible Hulk a couple hours ago.. - really enjoyed it.. - may be a bit biased.. i'm a huge Hulk fan..

I can see why people wouldn't count this one. The continuity makes no sense for Tommy.

I MIGHT give part 5 a watch before I hit the sack . But i'm leanin towards playin some super metroid on the Wii virtual console.

well, that was supposed to be stew, I doubt stre is even a word, but I sare you to deny it's validity now.

Jake is raising a flag pole in his shorts! I don't know if he's gonna salute it or not.

You guys are going to make 555 comments in 3 seconds when you get to the fabulous ending.

Blasphemy!!
An ambulance driver hellbent on revenge is just ripe for horrific storytelling dan, why cant you see that?!

Now I suggest that you all go back and watch the scene where the guy sees his son get killed…HOW COULD YOU MISS THAT FORESHADOWING?

Matt: that above comment goes for you too. I'm telling you guys, when the studios finally catch on to the pissed off father=Jason(???) fotmula we're going to be seeing all the big summer blockbusters doing it.

I did really like the movie for the most part and I knew what was coming. Still, go back to the reveal scene and add this sound effect.

I like it too, it's badness makes me happy.
You guys go ahead, it's pushing 5 here and starting to get light.
Translation: I'm a wuss and I'm too scared.

No, this has to be a Friday/Early Saturday thing and 3 was last time. I'd rather do 4 myself.

I will make it as far as I can, either due to sleep or due to my brain trying to kill itself so it doesn't have to process these damn movies any longer.