The X-Entertainment Blog!

02/25/2008: Salacious Crumb is sense-assaulting.

Ridiculous Star Wars Figure #116778: C-3P0 & Salacious Crumb, a two-pack which aims to make sense of its otherwise odd pairing by reflecting upon the only scene in Return of the Jedi where the two characters truly interacted. Unfortunately, Salacious Crumb spent this particular scene chewing C-3P0's eyes out.

If we can consider Hasbro's resurgent line of Star Wars toys as a continuous series beginning with the series launch in 1995, it's amazing that the brand has existed for almost fifteen years without any real downtime. In lieu of a proper social life, I decided to become a serious toy collector right around 1995. I distinctly remember the first series of figures, from impossible-to-stand Ben Kenobi to monkey-faced Princess Leia to bodybuilding Boba Fett, and a host of other classic characters immortalized in annoying fashion. I never thought it would last: This was before the prequels, and indeed, even before Greedo and Jabba's babealicious six-titted fat dancer took to the big screen for one last hurrah in the "Special Edition" re-releases. There was no reason to suspect that the franchise's scope extended past people like me, who were born and bred on Wampa fur and Dewback steaks.

Clearly, my prediction was wrong. So successful did the new toys become that Hasbro has downright run out of characters to craft in plastic. It got to the point where they wheeled out Darth Vader figures with purple ectoplasm all over their faces, and now, it's gotten to the point where they're wheeling out C-3P0 figures with Salacious Crumbs all over their faces.

Hoping to make my prediction win/loss record a slightly more respectable 1-1, let's go with this: In a year's time, Hasbro will wheel out Bib Fortuna figures with heart-shaped red stickers all over their faces, citing some obscure fanfic penned by TaunTom13 as proof of its canon-correct status.

If nothing else, nobody could argue that this isn't a stunning recreation of, uh, the scene where Salacious Crumb yanks out one of C-3P0's robot eyes. Whether it's an action figure that really needed to be made or not is another point entirely, but I think it did. Oh, if I had a nickel for all the times I mashed the original C-3P0 and Salacious Crumb figures together, knowing something was missing but never being able to pinpoint exactly what that something was. It's so obvious now! Fucky eyes!

Sadly, Salacious Crumb's method of attack could only be considered "clean and precise." C-3P0's popped eye looks less like battle damage and more like the way he lets other droids know that he digs the way they groove. I don't know for sure if the green slime is movie-accurate, and I suspect that this trivia-related faux pas will be one of the first exhibits in the Judgment Day trial that ultimately sends me to Hell. Thanks a lot for adding that green slime, random Hasbro artist.

I found it difficult to take a picture of the pair without 3P0's golden sheen creating a photo glare of historic proportions, so if you want to see what the figures look like from top to bottom, click here. Also of note: Along with of the two figures, you get a free commemorative coin. Of all the things in the world that a person could've commemorated, I think the scene in Return of the Jedi where Jabba's monkey ate C-3P0's eye had to rank really, really high.

They big fat guy whose tongue sticks out from Jabba's palace even has a figure now.

I think it's kind of cool they're reaching for things to make now because they can get into the wonky stuff like this set. But they haven't really made "every" figure possible, there's still something like ten dudes from both Jabba's Palace and the Mos Eisly cantina that haven't graced us in plastic form.
If someone can prove me wrong and point me to a page with a comprehensive list with pics, I'd love it (and I'm sure many others would too).

Myke, check out Rebelscum.com. They have a comprehensive archive of all the Kenner and Hasbro figures.
Also, I can proudly say I have that figure still on card hanging on my wall, with hundreds of others.

Have they started making characters based on the 'official' books? If they haven't I could imagine that might be next. "Now for sale, the action figure of the artist rendition of Han and Princess Leia's children!"

The 30th anniversary figures are pretty keen. I picked myself up a couple Stormtroopers, a Chewie, R2… Radness abounds.

The coolest thing about the line, as far as I'm concerned, is that they're making figures out of a bunch of the old Ralph MacQuarrie concept sketches. I can't remember if they did awesome goofy alien Han Solo or not, but goddamnit they'd better've.

When I was a kid, circa 1984, I had received quite a few Star Wars action figures as Christmas gifts. I gave them all to my cousin, because they were "boy toys."

Though they probably would've ended up in the same box in my dad's attic as my She Ra action figures…

i remember seeing a commercial years ago where you could order a custom made commemorative coin.. - you could mail a picture of yourself, or whatever, i image, and supposedly it was authentic u.s. mint.. - although, i doubt it.. as i can't see anyone going into 7-11 and buying a bag of bbq fritos using some pocket change and a coin with their own face on it.. - wonder if they're still around.. a matt coin for x-e's next birthday would be pretty rad..

Hi. This post doesn't have anything to do with extraneous and/or obscure action figures or even with the Star Wars universe…rather it's just me welcoming myself back to one of my favorite little corners of cyberspace. I find myself situated in the city of Xi'An in the Peoples' Republic of China completing my pre-service teaching requirement, and posting on the X-E blog just makes me feel a little closer to home. So, please excuse my extended absence, X-E regulars. I hope you'll have me back.

Ah yes, we are now one step closer to the day when we can re-construct the Star Wars movies frame-by-frame using only officially released action figures.

I'm having trouble deciding whether the commemerative coin or the figures are cooler. It's hard to beat the awesome popped out eye, but then again you can carry the coin with you everywhere you go…

I would totally buy that, if only because it'll probably go on sale quickly. Plus, the coin could go in my worthless coin collection with the Newport Creamery Cow Coin and the 1996 Olympics coins from the Cinnamon Toast Crunch box.

I think they've also got a whole untapped line of playsets. Maybe the Death Star had a circus like Spaceball 1, or some really sweet public restrooms.

For the record, C-3PO only had green slime on his face in ROTJ during the scene in which Jabba knocks him to the floor when Leia (disguised as a bounty-hunter) is bargaining for Han's freedom in exchange for Chewie. Y'know…"Because he's holding a thermal detanator!" and all that.

Working for Toys R Us, I can tell which customers are just there for collecting purposes:

If your standing in your cart trying to get into a valence to see if there are more figures being stored up there….you might be a collector

If you use the same cart technique to stash figures for a later time….you might be a collector

If your the first person in the store no matter how early we open, no matter what day of the week it is…. you might be a collector

If you always bug management to be the first person to sift through a fresh case of hot wheels for a treasure hunt car(or any figure on a 1 per case basis), and they ALWAYS tell you no….you might be a collector

Sorry, I just had to do it… Friday there was a man who got fairly angry at me for bagging his star wars figures wrong. Then he said something along the lines of "I don't play with these". Truthfully, I knew he was a collector, and I really didn't care.

Yeah, that's pretty lame to make the dang toy and then cover him in slime during a scene when he's not even covered in slime. Who's doing the research over at Hasbro anyways?

DarthPez….Ah yes, we are now one step closer to the day when we can re-construct the Star Wars movies frame-by-frame using only officially released action figures.

Sweet Jesus, If I was a slightly bigger Star Wars fan I would be all over that. Somebody's GOT to do it!

I think if they completely exhaust the movies (and like someone else said, they've still go a ways to go on that), I think dipping into the official canon of books and comics would be a great way to go. I mean, they've already got a market for it. Like I said, if I was a huge Star Wars fan I would eat that shit up.

My big thing is Batman, and I'm jazzed that they're releasing figures from The Dark Knight based on The Joker and Two Face (pictures of the Two Face one have already been leaked even though pictures of Harvey Dent from the movie haven't). Also, it looks like Harley Quinn's going to be in it too, so I might be interested in that one. I'm not much for collecting toys these days unless they're Transformers or something horror oriented, but I think I might be tempted to go out and get some of that stuff.

As for Star Wars toys, I've still got all my original ones stored in the big-ass Darth Vader head. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about.

Oh, and Matt, thank you for exposing me to a new derivative of Fuck ("Fucky eyes!") that I hadn't heard yet. Fucky is my new favorite word.

That's not half as bad as Han Solo strapped to torture gear from that five second shot in Empire Strikes Back– the 30th Anniversary collection has that immortalized in action figure form as well.

Rich, "Now for sale, the action figure of the artist who drew the artist's rendition of Han and Leia's children", you know it'll come. "George Lucas limited edition 'Convention' box set, with Director's Chair and multiple costumed fanboys including 'obese thirty-something male dressed as Leia"

Thank God I got out of Star Wars figures so I don't have to buy this stuff….I got into Star Wars lego for a while, but even that has past its prime with me…I still love Star Wars with all of my body but I don't feel I have to buy a bunch of cheaply made carved pieces of plastic to prove it.

Guise, how ’bout the masturbating Star Wars fan PC lurker figure (with Leigha pic on screen). Complete with projectile ooze!!

The way things are going, they'll soon have a Lobot figure that opens his eyes real wide when Lando contacts him with his watch. You know, that scene that lasted 2 seconds in ESB.

Besides they'd name it Sarlac Slime, Seethreepio Spunk or some marketting genius' product name.

Larry, or Lobot with pointy finger. Burnt chest Ewok with grieving friend. An accessory pack for the diagnoa(?) in the garbage disposal. Limited Edition Stormtrooper with ship survey gear from the first Death Star. Ooh, Luke in Darth Vader costume in the cave.

Man, and I was gunning for the Jek Porkins figure with "fiery exploding action."

Ah yes, we are now one step closer to the day when we can re-construct the Star Wars movies frame-by-frame using only officially released action figures.

It's been said that every single character that appeared in the Cantina scene from the original movie were all made into figures. And during Robot Chicken's Star Wars episode, you saw almost all of them.

And yes, they ran out of characters from the first 6 movies, so they've started to make figures from Clone Wars and the Expanded Universe. Some of the EU guys do look kickass, especially the older Sith guys like Darth Revan.

Call me when they make a Chef Gormaanda figure from the SW Holiday Special. (Hell, they already made a Boba Fett from the cartoon in that special)

That figure set is hilarious. They're just catering to the fanboys (and girls) now. Ten years ago I would have been all up ons. But for now, I'm content with my two Galactic Heroes sets and my Lando figure. I have the GH set with Luke circa ESB and Lando, and the one with Leia in Boushh disguise and Han Solo, which comes with the frozen-in-carbonite wall decoration version of Han as well. Fun stuff.

I have nothing useful to contribute to the discussion, so….um. Yeah. Photographing shiny things is hard.

Norb, those Robot Chicken sketches of Star Wars crack me up in to hysterical giggles. Though, I also get like that reading the Star Wars LEGO strips of Irregular Webcomic.

Call me when they release Twi'lek Dancing Slave Girl in Schoolgirl Uniform or Supergirl underwear.

I'm sure it's only the matter of time before they start making parody figures. Besides Spaceballs, there's also Family Guy and Muppet Star Wars figures that need to be made. I WANT A DARTH GONZO FIGURE!

Sort of on topic: I went to my local Target yesterday to check for any new stuff and I was reminded why I don't like going there: it hasn't been restocked since Christmas. I kid you not. And the items that are on the shelves are in a state of "sifted through" like you could not imagine. It was weird. But is looked just like that a week or so after Christmas, too. Since there is a better organized store like 30 minutes in the other direction, I think that Target is dead to me…I hate stores that are kept outdated and sloppy.

How about a set of Family Guy "Blue Harvest" figures? I'd love a R2D2 with Cleveland's voice.

Shaunfu: Man, my Target usually gets the seasonal stuff out by 2 weeks after the holiday. Its a wonder corporate hasn't caught wind; when I was working there, we got yelled at for not having all the items on a peg not pushed all the way up. And not covering the diamonds. >

Oh OH OHHHHHH!!!!!! PERFECT figure they have'nt made yet!!! Bea Arthur from the star wars christmas special!! And Lumpy…chewies kid!

haha… remember the ghost busters slime? My friend had it but never let me use it cos it turned into solid goo about 7 seconds after been exposed to air!!

Matt, just wanted to say your spam filter amuses me. I post a link and it kills the post, but I talk about Piglet and stuff, and it's fine with that.

I've long tried to comprehend my filter's comparison between "buy phenterminalicious medicine online" and "hey guys did you hear about the new heman dvds?"

I can't believe I haven't been able to come up with something to say about this post yet. I guess I've been out of the action figre game for too long.

Matt do you have any cool EU toys?
I never got into the toy scene but think a Xizor or Dash action figure would be pretty schweet.

Matt, I sweat I didn't include anything about making any part of the anatomy bigger!

You "sweat" huh Guise? Freudian slip maybe? You sure you didn't include any links to a Piglet site that may be considered inappropriate?

I've seen the pics of the Star Wars stuff that was shown at Toy Fair recently, and being as big a fan of SW as I am, even I find it ridiculous they're going to come out with figures of Han, Luke, and Chewbacca from the cut "sandstorm scene" of Return of the Jedi.

You know they are coming out with a figure of the six titied dancer this summer? Also an ewok mother with wokling.

Dan, no, no…I was mostly on topic for once. I did link to Irregular Webcomics Star Wars LEGO strips. Maybe it thought I was offering prunes?

DJ D…Harley Quinn's gonna be in the Dark Knight? Really? Awesome! (Also, can you post a link to pics of the toys? I would really appreciate it.)

Sorry…nothing to contribute to the Star Wars end of the discussion. In terms of the "trilogy feud," I'm more of an LotR girl myself.

Invader Norbert There are still many more cantina patrons who have yet to be immortalized in plastic.

penmissile Kenner released Dash and Xizor figures back in ’97 but you can still find them for sale on various toy sites. They are also releasing a new Xizor figure this year packed along with a princess Leia.

Honestly I think that the 30th Anniversary collection is great. The past Star Wars collections have been kind of hit or miss because of figures like the purple goo Vader but the 30th anniversary is actually putting out figures that have never been made before and re-doing some that really needed it. Sure you have a few like C-3PO but most of the new figures make me goregasm with joy. I finally have my Hermi Oddle and in a couple months they’ll be releasing the AT-TE. At $100 bucks it costs as much as the upcoming Cloverfield monster toy but Christ, I need two of ‘em.

I have to admit, I really am looking forward to the Batman toys myself. As for Star Wars, call me when they release Twi'lek Dancing Slave Girls in School Uniform or Supergirl underwear.

HI Yeti!
At some point I need to watch the original star wars movies so I don't have to hang my head low when they are discussed.

Vanilla Fire, Here's the link to the Two Face one. The pictures are a little blurry, but they were taken on the sly. Hopefully we'll get some better ones soon:
http://www.darkhorizons.com/news08/080220c.php

Here's the rest of them including all the Batman ones and the Joker. Click on "Figures" to see those, and click on "Vehicles and Playsets" to see the Batpod and all the other crap, including wings and a mask! Where was this stuff when I was a kid?:
http://i.toynewsi.com/g/index.php?mode=album&album=2008_...

Darth Poop, They're rereleasing the AT-TE?? Seriously? I never had one and I've always wanted on. Holy crap! That might be worth the $100. Didn't they rerelease the Ti-Fighters a while back too?

Before I thinned out my collection, the nuttiest figure I had was that robot lifting a girder outside Mos Eisley in the "A New Hope" special edition. You know, the one that smacked that little flying robot as Luke's speeder went by. That was 1997…they've been scrambling for figures for a loooooong time.

Like a lot of HHGTTG, calling the collected works a trilogy was a evolved in-joke. Douglas Adams had planned on keeping the books at three, but with the continued success of the radio plays (the original source of the story), LPs, BBC TV miniseries, and the like, it spawned two more books and a short story. Fans of the series still call it a trilogy, most likely out of Vogon-like stubbornness.

DJ D You have the AT-TE (the six legged walker from episode 2 and 3) mixed up with the AT-AT (the four legged walker from episode 5 and 6). They did, however re-release the AT-AT with Endor weathering a year or so ago.

Darth Poop,
I bought that AT-AT for my nephew last Christmas. It was a pretty keen toy. It even made the trademarked "PYEW-PYEW!" laser-cannon sounds and everything. My nephew loved it. I don't ever remember seeing any AT-ATs in action on Endor, though. I only remember seeing them on Hoth. I have a rotten memory, though…

The Yeti, an AT-AT carrying a captured Luke Skywalker walks up to the landing platform on Endor. There Luke and Darth meet for the first time since Bespin.

Thanks for the clarification, Darth. I guess I couldn't recall any sightings of AT-ATs on Endor because the Speeders and two-legged Empirial Walkers kinda stole the show on that particular planet.

It may just be the perverted 13 year old inside of me, but it looks like Crumb is screwing 3PO through the back of the head, with his enormous member poking out the front of his eye socket. It's like a Geiger painting.

At least it's creative. I'd buy that, but it'll never fit in my display case between the guy with the really long neck and the two bounty hunters who appeared in that short scene when Vader dispatches them in the middle of "Empire."

Andy, Wow, I totally didn't think of it that way till now and I can't look at it without thinking of that now. Thanks for perverting what would have normally been a perfectly innocent picture of a creature mounting an effeminate robot from behind with goo all over his face.

I was excited to find the Salacious and Threepio pack at Walmart a few weeks ago. I have those two cardboard dioramas they put out about ten years ago, one for Jabba's Palace, and one for the Cantina, and I set any figures related to those scenes in there. And a few others. I've got Aunt Beru hanging out at the bar with her blue milk. I have to say I really like the obscure aliens-who-only-appeared-on-screen-for-five-seconds figures. They continue to put out revamped variations of main characters, but that's because kids mostly want the recognizable ones. Aliens are more fun and detailed though. I think they could have made another of those packaged fold-out dioramas of the nightclub from Attack of the Clones, because there are lots of odd figures to fill that place up. Although I never did acquire the Anthony Daniels "as himself" figure.

Hey, Joey the Girl. I'm a girl Joey as well. It's like being part of a special club in here.

Add A New Comment!

This entry was posted on Monday, February 25th, 2008 at 12:56 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.