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02/23/2008: The Bloody Mary Martini.

I'm almost over this busy hump of workworkwork that's kept me from writing about potato chips and action figures for the past few weeks. Enough to where I feel pretty good about promising a new blog post every day for the next week or so. Gonna spend the afternoon mapping out what will be covered, but for now, let's go with a totally uninteresting cocktail recipe that I half-created and half stole from online resources: The Bloody Mary Martini.

I love a good Bloody Mary, but as I've mentioned in elder posts, there's rarely an opportunity to drink them. Whenever I order one, it's clearly the wrong time. When you're out on the town with friends, the last thing you want is a soup of a drink that makes you want to lay down for an hour. It's considered a morning cocktail and a hangover cure, but drinking in the morning isn't as fun, and setting up the circumstances for a Bloody Mary to be used as a hangover cure doesn't sound like much fun either.

So, this recipe meshes what I love about the Bloody Mary with my more typical get-drunk-quick scheme: The Dirty Martini. Whereas the ol' B.M. is predominantly tomato or vegetable juice with a dash of vodka, here the ingredient amounts are reversed: It's mostly vodka with a dash of red.

Here's how you do it: Throw four parts vodka and one part Spicy Hot V8 (or your vegetable-based juice-of-choice) in a cocktail shaker, along with a bunch of crushed pepper and whatever other spices you find appealing. Might want to add a spoonful of olive brine too, but that's a negotiable point. If you like 'em extra spicy, toss in a few drops of Tabasco sauce. Throw in a bunch of ice cubes, cover the shaker, and make like it's a maraca for several seconds. Strain into a martini glass, and you are completely and totally done.

I don't know how this cocktail spinoff never occurred to me before. It's really simple and tastes great, with enough of a tomato twist to pay tribute to the Bloody Mary, but also with enough alcohol to make your fingers and toes feel warm and buzzy.

Both the martini and Bloody Mary cocktails heavily rely on their awesome and distinct garnishes, and you've got plenty of options with the Bloody Mary Martini. I went with asparagus spears, mainly because my heart flutters at any opportunity to do more with asparagus spears than letting them rot at the bottom of the fridge.

X-Entertainment: Your destination for '80s nostalgia. Boing chicka bow wow.

I've always wanted to try a bloody mary, but the martini sounds great. I think I'll go make one now.

First?
Just wanted to say I'm happy to hear that Matt's work is almost done. That means soon I'll be able to waste even more time on XE. Again. Woo- hoo!

Aaaagrh, damned "slow down cowboy" message - what have I done to deserve it? - robbed me of my rightfully deserved 1st spot!

I totally meant "please" and not "plase". Sounds awfully dirty tho. XD
I also totally meant "boing", but my friends and I usually use "bow". I suppose its a regional preference.

Mmm that does look tasty, but I hate asparagus. I'll probably stick with celery.

Matt, I like to sautee asparagus w/ mushrooms in a garlic butter sauce. Then again, anything tastes better in garlic butter sauce.

A bottle of nice dry gin will have you passed out and vomiting onto yourself in no time.

Matt, welcome back, we missed you. Though, we managed to keep ourselves entertained and on a very good level of sanity, maturity and decency.

I'm not much of a drinker, and even less cocktails because I have the ability to see in the future when it comes to them. The future tends to be full of blinking lights and my reflection in the toilet bowl.

Though, as far as vodka goes, I'd like to suggest Smirnoff Norsk. Vodka with nordic berries. It works great with crushed ice.

As for celery. Evil. The most vilest, bitterest, twisted evil to ever find itself ascending from hell to spread across earth.

Yes, I rather liked the feel of it. Where's JoshC been, does he have Mario Kart DS yet? We need to do the online thing before Smash comes out because then that's all anyone's going to want to play and I won't have it for a while.

I've never understood why some people/restaurants feel the need to include vegetable "extras" that everyone knows isn't gonna be eaten.

Asparaus in a Bloody Mary?
Celery with Buffalo/chicken wings?
That dill pickle spear that they give you with hamburgers/sandwiches/etc.?
Not to mention that parsley they occaisionally give you. Is that even edible?

I ignore that stuff. Imagine how much you would save if they stopped doing that. Or at least give us a choice of not having it or having something else instead.

The asparagus spears are a nice touch. I can't say I've ever tried a bloody Mary, nor have I really had an urge to. The fact that it's "mostly vodka with a dash of red" makes it slightly more enticing.

That's what I was wondering, guys. this is my first bloody mary. Am I supposed to eat the celery?? BTW, this recipe is niiiice. ^^ My first bloody mary and I'm not even in a bar!

I've never been a big fan of the bloody mary. OK, to be fair I don't think I've ever actually tried a bloody mary. I've always been turned off by them because of my severe hatred of V8 when I was a child.

Now that I am older I do enjoy a lot of foods that I used to despise, which includes a lot of vegetables and spicy foods, so I really should give it a go. I have been looking for a reason to buy a bottle of vodka. Hmm.

Ah, vodka, tomato juice, and asparagus. Combining 3 of my least favorite things into one theoretically delicious cocktail. Just give me a rum & coke and I'll be happy.

I've never been much for mixed drinks myself. I find myself relying on either beer or neat whiskey, with very little in between. I do like experimenting with various coffee/liquor mixtures in the wintertime, though. Nothing warms up a cold apartment like a hot mug of coffee with several ounces of Bushmills in.

Not to mention that parsley they occaisionally give you. Is that even edible?
Yes, it's delicious.

There is everything right in bloody marys. They're like a meal that will also get you drunk. The only craving I ever had while I was pregnant was for those things. (Yes, I drank them virgin) My work has "world famous" bloody marys made with home made tomato juice. Sometimes I sneak some of the mix home in my nalgene bottle. Shhhh.

I'm in the minority here ’cause I don't drink. The last time I had a drink was…uh…I can't remember. That should tell you something. XD

However, I do love asparagus. I hardly ever get to eat it because it costs a fucking fortune around these parts, but when I do get to have some, I savor every moment of it. Tempura (battered and deep-fried Japanese-style) asparagus is the best.

Man…I think i need another one. ^^;; Now I have to try this infamous rum and coke you speak of, Vanilla Fire. Oh, note to me: Don't eat the stupid leaves on the celery. >.

Definitely NOT a Bloody Mary person; only really had one on an Easter Sunday once and it was "ugh" all over….

I've always wanted to try a Bloody Mary, but I haven't for the reason you mentioned. When I go out, which is rare these days, the last thing I want to order is a veggie based drink. I vow to someday try a Bloody Mary. It will probably have to be at home though.

ooooh, girly drinks. I like drinks w/ fruit, personally, though I'm quite fond of a midori sour every now and again. My favorite drink is a strawberry daqueri, if that says anything.

Vanilla Fire: Deep love for rum and coke. Preferably in a (british sized) pint glass.

Dio: if you want Rum and Coke, go for a Havana Club rum, and preferably a white rum. Pure goodness in a glass.

I'm not really a fan of mixed drinks, or the better way to phrase it would be that I rarely drink them. When I drink i tend to just drink whiskey straight. However, there are a few mixed drinks that I do love. White Russians are pretty spectacular. I think I lived off of them for a semester in college. Also, even though it might be 'girly', I really enjoy a margarita. I just love the taste of them and would drink it even without the tequila. Lime is one of my favorite flavors. Sometimes I'll buy a bottle of Jose Cuervo just because it gives me the excuse to buy a few limes.

Matt, your recipe is especially good if you substitute the tomato juice and spices with more vodka. you should try it

Man I'm really wishing I had some V8 or tomato juice right now those things sound awesome! I love me a good Bloody Mary though, or a rum and coke or a margarita for all that.

Guise I'll have to keep an eye out for that vodka you mentioned, all I have now is the cheap mixing kind.

GOD YES. Lime margaritas rock. Never had a white russian. That doesn't have milk in it does it?

That looks tasty. Plus it'll makes you pee smell like pneumonia. Is it only some people who get stinky yet interestingly smelling pee from asparagus?

Annette, dohopoki: But, but…I was told that all the cool kids were doing it! My entire worldview is being thrown into disarray!

Ah, well. You know what else all the cool kids are doing? Playing Iron Dukes. Browser-based steampunk treasure hunting game whose main boss is Thomas Edison at the head of a roving band of warlocks. They've only got a one-stage demo so far, but I'm pretty sure the full version is going to devour my soul. Even with the demo, I could just sit and read the item descriptions for hours.

GOD YES. Lime margaritas rock. Never had a white russian. That doesn't have milk in it does it?

Yeah, White Russians will have a bit of milk in it. It sounds gross — it originally did to me — but it is oh so good. Well, now that I think about it White Russians are really made with cream, not milk. I use milk only because I never have any other reason to buy cream. Just mix a decent quality vodka in a 1:1 ratio with kahlua, and finish with a splash of milk. Add an ice cube or two, a stirrer, and toss in your copy of The Big Lebowski.

Dan, Norsk is one of the few vodkas I'll actually drink straight, and it's got a nice sweet taste to it that doesn't result in a tangy aftertaste.

For a Slippery Nipple, pour 25ml of sambuca into a double shot glass and then layer on 25ml of baileys.

For a Screaming Orgasm, call internati…, mix 1 shot each of Kahlua, Baileys, Amaretto, Vodka with ice.

White Russians are damn tasty! I haven't had one of those in a while either! There are a lot of shots I like but I couldn't tell you what's in them for the life of me.

Guise I'm surprised you didn't offer up Sex on the Beach….err the recipe for it I mean.

Magic Toy: It sounds more appetizing the way you describe it, so I'll give it a go sometime.

I once had a poison apple martini, and the sad thing was that it tasted exactly like an alcoholic Jones Soda Candy Apple soda (the one Jones put out a year, maybe 2 years ago for its Halloween flavors at Target). T_T I paid $8 for an alcoholic Jones Soda.

But, mainly, I didn't offer because I have quite a few sex on the beach recipes, depending on what you like.

Oral Sex on the Beach
Pour 30ml vodka, 30ml peach schnapps, 30ml blue curacao and 100ml pineapple juice into a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake. Strain into a highball glass.

Creamy Sex on the Beach
Pour 15ml vodka, 15ml Malibu rum, 15ml peach schnapps, 45ml pineapple juice and a splash of grenadine into a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Add an oz of whipped cream, and shake until frothy. Pour into a highball glass.

Safe Sex on the Beach
Pour 90ml of both cranberry juice and grapefruit juice and 60ml of peach nectar over ice in a chilled glass and stir. Garnish with a maraschino cherry.

But, for you, 60ml vodka, 60ml cherry liqueur, 120ml cranberry juice, 120ml orange juice in a tall glass over ice with a cherry. Dio, hope you enjoyed your Popped Cherry.

Of course you had me at the last thing; you have to start at the bottom w/ comments on blogs….XD Either that, or I knew in advance that you were going to have cherries. Take your pick.

Guise That popped Cherry sounds nummy. I don't drink very much at all except the occasional wine cooler or hard ice tea.

Matt I hate you….I've been nursing a stomach flu for a few days now…and the bloody mary article made me want to wretch.

I've been downing bottle after bottle of water and soda and juice…I'm making an appointment this week to see if I'm diabetic or something….
Oh wait i may have mentioned that last thread…oops.

Oh OH!!! RIght! My main reason for posting…I had a creamy mocha latte slurpee today! woo! It tastes like coke and mocha latte together and carbonated. Then I found like one of the last surviving Roy ROgers restaurants in NJ today…it's in Beachwood across from where THunder Bowl used to be if anyones familiar with the area.

Awww, get well soon, Mandy. That latte slurpee sounds divine, however. *dances* My first official SNT, btw.

I hate tomato juice so I guess there's a reason I've always passed on these. White Russians on the other hand, rule.

OK, since we are pretty solidly on the topic of alcoholic beverages, I'll share the recipe for a drink I created on 12/31/99. It was a pretty big night as far as partying was concerned, so I was feeling motivated to try something new.

I had a bottle of whiskey on hand and only a few different mixers. I came up with the following…

6 oz. 7-up (or roughly half the can)
3-4 oz. of your favorite fruity liqueur (cherry pucker, apple pucker, etc.)
2-3 oz. Jim Beam

Because of the presence of 7-up and Jim Beam the natural name for the drink was the Beam Me Up. Then you added a flavor to the end of it. For instance, if you used cherry pucker as your fruity liqueur, the drink was known as a Beam Me Up Cherry.

Magic Toy that sounds awesome, I'll have to give that one a shot (no pun intended)

Annette, doho - I'm in the non-drinker club too. I hate feeling drugged. Plus, it just really never occurs to me.
We should get matching tattoos.
Also, tomato juice = *kak*

this article is fate…..i just got back from the liquor store, and i have the vodka in my freezer…..but alas, i only have cranberry juice. ps- i went to a mexican restaurant earlier and i am already in "margaritaville" and instead of typing "cranberry juice" i almost wrote "cranberry jizz". drinking always results in sexual innuendo and freudian slips

We should also hang around the 99 cent store and show off our tattoos and pocket knives to anyone trying to get in the store.

Is it geeky of me to want to try, just once, a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster? I've always wanted to try one ever since I first read Hitchhiker's when I was 10. ^^

I've recently become a fan of Red Death, though I'm always up for a good Blowjob. I got this crazy Mai Tai at Red Robin the other day, though, that came in the most amazing tiki glass ever. Right now it appears that the only alcohol left in the house is a bottle of chardonnay in the back of the fridge so, well, bottoms up!

My husband mom…she would give him a Brandy ALexander(those are called hot toddy's right?) to help him fall asleep when he was a kid.

On the other hand…I'll pass on the Bloody Mary Martini. I'm not a drinker at all. I'd rather make tomato soup. Liquor and I just do not agree with one another.

I heard my dad got brandy on his gums when he was a baby to soothe his teething. That would explain a lot, considering every story my dad told me about his time in the air force was "One time we got so drunk…"

I don't like to drink much. I went out with friends last night, had one drink, and it made me so sleepy that I found it difficult to wake up ten hours later.

Magic Toy, your drink sounds both stiff as hell and quite interesting. I'll have to try it some time.

And Mystie, your Red Robin not only makes Mai Tais, but they serve them in tiki glasses? Damn. I can never get one anywhere, I dunno, I guess the bars I go to have no Orgeat Syrup.

Fuckin a….this might go down as one of the most boring Saturday's of my life. Does anyone have a suggestion on TV viewing or anything to cure this boredom. oh yeah, happy SNT everyone!

Matt, I think you should re-think morning drinking. Instead of going in with the attitude of "I shouldn't be drinking so early," go in with the attitude of "Look at how much drinking I've done already, and it's only at 11 AM!"

This seems like a good time to bring this up. I've been thinking of a way to use Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt energy drink as a base for a mixed drink. I already have the name for it: "Seagalmageddon." I just don't know what to mix with it. I think vodka would work, but the energy drink has a terrible aftertaste, so I wanted to cover that with some sort of flavored liquor, too, like schnapps. However, to match the name, I think at least one or two more liquors should be in the drink, to kind of match how the drink will be an 'armageddon' on one's sobriety. Maybe we can come up with some ideas, and then post this online. I think it's the right of humans everywhere to be able to concoct a mixed drink that allows them to get drunk drinking a beverage made by Steven Seagal.

I know what to order next time I go to Red Robin now. Generally a good rum/fruity boat drink is my favorite thing to have. I think I'll go out and grab a bottle of vodka to give the Mary a shot tonight. I've always got cranberry juice if the tomato is too much for me.
There are a bunch of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster recipes here, though none of them jumped out at me:
http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Bartending/Cocktails/Pan_Galact...

phunqsauce, if you have cable on demand you might be able to watch some of the episodes of the new show Breaking Bad from AMC. And ABC Family is playing the original Turtles movies 1 & 2 here on the west coast.

Rich: The Seagalmagedden? I love it. I agree with you that vodka needs to be the primary spirit involved considering your working with an energy drink, but what could be added…

Boing chicka bow wow? Chamon, Matt. I can't help but hear stock spring sound effects when I read over that sentence.

I see that his Lightning Bolt drinks come in 16 oz. cans, so I'll portion it to allow four drinks per can.

4 oz. Lightning Bolt Energy Drink
1.5 oz flavored vodka (perhaps Absolut Cherry or Cranberry)

So, put your energy drink in a glass, drop in one shot glass full to the brim with your favorite flavored vodka, and drink quickly (similar to a boilermaker).

As you drop the shot glass of vodka into your energy drink, stuff a handful of Pop Rocks into your mouth with your other hand. Then chug the drink.

I think I will subject myself to the return of SNL later on after I roll some cigarettes (of the legal variety…..mostly)

Celery with Buffalo/chicken wings?
That dill pickle spear that they give you with hamburgers/sandwiches/etc.?
Not to mention that parsley they occaisionally give you. Is that even edible?

I'm currently watching "The History of The Joke" on the History Channel. The funniest comics alive are on this special, trying to explain humor.

Tonight sucks. I'm sick with mono and I just came home from a benefit concert that made me cry. Plus none of the friends I usually like to pester over IM are online.

I wish I wasn't sick, ’cause some of these drink recipes sound great. Not the bloody mary, though. Tomato juice, bleh. But I sure could go for a Popped Cherry (heh heh) right about now.

Sitting here nursing a glass of Cherry gatorade rain…and arguing with friends about super smash bros brawl not having voice chat and why its a good bad thing….

I really don't know why I said that. I actually really liked Wayne's World, and the joke isn't really funny.

I also really did have mono once for like six months. It morphed into Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (I postulate) and I missed half of my senior year of high school, including my graduation ceremony. (I still graduated on time though). Hey, at least I lost like 30 pounds when I was sick.

I'm not much of a mixed drink or heavy alcohol guy. I do, however, like red wine. White wine, not so much, but I love red wine, particularly Merlot. I also like Port (the ruby kind, not the tawny kind).

Just looking at the Bloody Mary makes me feel sick…..I don't like tomato juice. Or Vodka, either.

Magic Toy: My mono basically morphed into CFS too. I first got it when I was 13, and I've had it three more times since then, making this the fourth time in 9 years. When I'm not actively sick I get a lot of random bouts of horrible fatigue and swollen tonsils and the like. Woohoo

Unfortunately I never lose weight when I'm sick. In fact I usually gain weight since I'm being inactive and stuffing myself with comfort food. Then again I'm hypoglycemic so it's probably better I not lose my appetite, but it still sucks being the fat bitch who eats a lot even when she's sick :p

Do you really want to refer to your drink as "the ol' B.M."? I've always heard that abbreviation as short for bowel movement, the last thing you want to associate with a good beverage.

More vs. battles
Godzilla vs. a T-REX
Paul Bunyan with His Blue Ox vs. Jolly Green Giant and Little Sprout

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. However many that is. Weighing in on the drink thing, I don't drink very often, but when I do, I usually go for a Tequila Sunrise. In addition to tasting good, it makes me think of Kurt Russell.

Those are some great ideas. That's an ingenious play on the Boilermaker. Instead of dropping a shot into the pint glass, you drop a shot into the cocktail glass. The best part about it is that it gives you a rushed feel, so it's like an action movie. You have to drink it fast! However, what do you think about this modification. First, you mix 4 oz. of Cherry Charge (or the regular kind), with cherry vodka or any fruit-flavored vodka (you were dead on with the flavored vodka, BTW). Then to get the armageddon feel down, you drop a shot of Everclear or 151 into the glass. I liken the use of the 151 or Everclear to action movies where everything keeps on piling on the action hero. So here's the final concoction:

4 oz. Seagal's Lightning Bolt
4 oz. Fruit-Flavored Vodka
1.5 oz. Everclear, 151, i.e. whatever you can get your hands on.

I think Pop Rocks should be optional just because I'm not sure how many people would remember to get them at the store specifically to make a Seagalmageddon. But I think we have the drink right here. What do you think? This would actually be an inexpensive drink, too because unlike other a lot of energy drinks, Seagal's drinks cost a buck at Wal-Mart (I can't find them anywhere else) because they taste like crap. But you don't drink them because of their taste. You drink them because they were made by Steven Seagal.

Well BevMo only had gigantic bottles of V8 so I ended up grabbing a couple of Rose's mixers instead. On my second "PomMangotini", just watched the end of Big Trouble in Little China and I'm reading the SNT. There are worse ways to spend a Saturday night

The Clovie figure is creepy! He would do a good job of menacing my Lost/Grindhouse guys. $100 still seems kinda steep though.

A peck is equivalent to 8 dry quarts (flour, sugar, etc), but that's as far as I can get. It really depends on the size of the pepper. There could be a few dozen or a few hundred. =P

I love celery! One of my favorite cartoon characters growing up was Bugs Bunny, and to be more like a rabbit (I guess) I ate a lot of carrots and celery.

I watched SNL tonight. That 3 month long break was just what this show needed. I liked just about every sketch, and a lot of them made me laugh.

Like in the movie when we actually see it head-on…I'm not that all impressed with the figure

funny… thats actually more or less how they make bloody marys in most places here in columbia sc… if you really wanna spice it up nice get yourself a bottle of "absolute peppar" (no, thats not a typo) its flavored with roasted jalapenos, green tomato and dried herbs and is SPICY HOT! bloody marys are really the only way i ever drink vodka anymore (theres a story attached to that one)

if anyones interested i'll give up one of my many "accidental" cocktail recipes… so called because i came up with most of them generally near the end of the night on various party nights when there were very few drink options left, and i was already a little tipsy… i call this one a "Jack Sparrow" its Captain Morgans Spiced Rum (add as much as you want according to how drunk you want to get) a "healthy" shot of sweet vermouth, and a splash of your favorite citrus cola (sprite doesnt do so well, but mountain dew is AWESOME in it, and i hate mountain dew) serve on the rocks and ENJOY!

Rich: Everclear?

Apparently this action-movie of a drink is pulling out the big guns. Having 4 oz. of vodka and a shot of Everclear would make this a very, VERY, potent concoction. If you chug one of those you are basically lining up and pounding five 80 proof shots in a row (give or take). So yeah, I think that would work.

Regarding the Pop Rocks… I suppose it could be optional. Hey, it is your call, you invented the drink. To me they were that little extra theatrical touch. The special effects of the drink, if you will. What better way to simulate an action movie (in your mouth

) than to have explosions! It just makes it that much more hardcore and ups the probability of death by as much as 27%, if my research is correct.

Honestly, this is the sort of drink that one should record themselves drinking, if the Pop Rocks are included, and upload it on Youtube. Could be fun to watch.

All of this reminds me of a time, back in college, where one of my best friends swore that he could drink any mixture that I put in front of him, so long as the ingredients were all things that he would drink individually. I took his challenge and mixed up the following, as best as my memory can recall, in a 32 oz. styrofoam cup…

1. About two-thirds of a flat beer.
2. Whatever was left of the cola that was already in the cup.
3. A good amount of Southern Comfort
4. A few shots of Goldshlager

5. Around a dozen marshmallow charms from a Lucky Charms cereal box. (I knew he was going to need some good luck to keep this down)

The disgusting brew was a black as night and smelled of death. He re-entered the room and peered into the cup. As he did a look of fright washed over his face. But, like a champ, he said, "bottoms up", and finished the drink.

Five minutes later he was hacking his guts out in the bathroom. I still feel sort of bad about it.

Oooh, I'm a bartender, so this thread is right my alley. Here's a tip: do NOT order a Bennigan's Bloody Mary. Smirnoff with a mix, and celery complete with the leaves. Yuck. Smirnoff is my absolute least favorite vodka, and I'm definitely a vodka drinker.

A Vodka Collins is one my favorites, vodka with sour mix and a splash of lime soda. Mmm. I'm also in love with Gimlets. Think dirty martini with lime juice instead of olive juice. You have to enjoy very strong flavors for that one.

My favorite shot: the Screaming Nazi. (Also called the Screaming Eagle, or Starry Night if you layer them.) Equal parts Jagermeister and Goldcshlager. Sounds rough, but it's super smooth, as the rough parts of each liquor balance each other out. You get the smoothness of the beginning of a Jager shot, and the nice cinnamon flavor aftertaste of the Goldschlager. Also the Starry Night effect is quite pretty.

Starry Night. That sounds really pretty. I just might try that just to tell my friends I drank a Van Gogh painting. ^___^

Squee: Thanks for the research. I think I'll try one of them…just not now, since I'm totally zonked from playing too much Devil May Cry 4 and Assassin's Creed. Can't have Assassin's Creed w/o ass!

Leigha: You have no idea how lucky you are that you didn't make that post when I actually had been drinking. Otherwise it would have been all kinds of "I'd really like to double HER innuendo, if you know what I mean" and "I wouldn't mind slipping HER the old Freudian if you catch my drift." With extra eyebrow and elbow.

Fortunately, as it is Sunday morning, I am far too sober and respectable to go in for crass entertainment like that.

Well…went to the ER last night to deal with my previously documented ravenous thirstiness and puking adventure. Doc says my sugar was actually kinda low…like the high side of being low. and also i was'nt dehydrated…which i think is bullshit. bc if i have a ravenous thirst and drinking like a million camel humps worth of liquids and puking and drinking and peeing, well, and the nurse not being able to find a vein right away to give me an IV bc my veins were collapsed. meh this is also the same hospital that told me i fractured my kneecap and it was'nt.

I do feel a tiny bit better this morning though and thanks for your well wishes and advice in the previous thread.

Dude! You shook it? When I was a bartender, I was told never to shake a martini - GENTLY swirl. Of course, that may be for gin **GRINS**

Now, my prognostication skills have wavered over the years, but I think that conspicuous consumption of the "Segalmegeddon" may put one prematurely into a wooden or steel (depending on preference) box.

My favorite drink though, is probably anything with vodka in it. I mean, you could probably piss into a highball glass, throw some vodka into it - and I'd drink it.

mandy: Did they check you for a kidney infection? That could also cause similar symptoms, and would come on more suddenly (and painfully) than diabetes. Either way, hope you keep feeling better

Totally forgot to throw in my favorite drink, which is pretty random and girly, but delicious. Basically you just mix some Orange-Pineapple Parrot Bay with pina-colada flavored Italian ice. Great for hot muggy nights and people who think alcohol is "icky". I haven't thought of a witty name for it yet, though. Any ideas?

That Bloody Mary looks like someone died over It.
Is that how It's supposed to look?

So you're almost over the big work hump, Eh? You work in Marketing, right? What have you been making?

Man…I really want to try and/or trick my guy friends into trying this "Seagalmegeddon" now. If only there was a Walmart anywhere near where I live. I feel it would be rather difficult to explain to my roommate why I wanted to drive half an hour just to pick up a crappy energy drink (especially since I gave them up for Lent [except in mixed drinks]). Ah well.

I'm one of those people who doesn't care what he drinks, as long as it tastes good… I'll drink beer (preferably not an American mass-produced brew, although I'll drink a Michelob Ultra, if that's what I'm in the mood for…

) or wine (as long as it's not too dry), but I probably prefer mixed drinks - I remember one summer some friends and I rented a shore house in Belmar, NJ - our drink of choice that summer was Tanqueray and Tonic - each time we finished a bottle, we would put the empty on the fireplace mantel. By the end of the summer, there were around 35 bottles on the mantel… Nowadays, I prefer Bombay Sapphire in my G&T's, however.

The Seagalmeggedon sounds like a good drink - but I'd probably steer clear of the Everclear, personally - my one experience with it, Freshman year in college, resulted in my sleepwalking, and body-checking a friend from high school who lived in my dorm, and was trying to guide me back to my room without waking me up - I should also mention he outweighed me by about 50 pounds!

The idea is far from finished, I think. I mean I want the drink to be over the top, like Seagal's over the top action movies. That's really the essential goal. It's just how can we make it over the top? Which is why I had the shot of everclear or 151 (and also why I like the pop rocks idea). I don't know, does anyone have any other ideas? It doesn't necessarily need to be a shot dropped in. You could mix a butt load of liquors into one drink giving it an 'armageddon' feel. I also think it should be chugged but also be strong enough that can force people to stop chugging. Each time someone takes a chug break, they have to yell out a Steven Seagal movie before continuing. So it's a mini-drinking game and mixed drink rolled into one. You don't sip a Seagalmageddon. You chug it!

How about some Sambuca, to add to the taste adventure of the Seagalmegeddon? And another ingredient for each letter of his last name? Say, Absinthe for the first A, Galliano for the G, etc…

okay kids and kats…keeping with this drink topic…I found a little gem of a clip by Kids In The Hall about a guy who gets to be an alcoholic off Girl Drinks….its a little long about 6 min and change but totally in them with the topic…enjoy

Speaking of alcoholic beverages, with St. Patrick's Day swiftly approaching, does anyone have a favorite seasonal libation (besides, Guinness, of course)? And as far as Irish Whiskey, do you prefer Bushmill's or Jameson, or another? I like Jameson, personally.

As you know, being from Canada we tend to stick with Ceasars, not so much Bloody Marys. I was intrigued by your use of asparagus, until I realized it's plain uncooked asparagus, ugh… Here, at higher brow Ceasar establishments, they are served with pickled asparagus, which not only make a great stir stick, but also a tasty treat.

I blame this blog for the bloody mary I drank last night. I don't get the asparagus thing, I prefer them with celery.

Old Jim, has anyone ever told you you're a genius? Because that's a genius idea. I'll have to ponder that one, i.e. figure out what liqours easily available correspond to the letters in Seagal. Hmm, this might keep vodka out, which I was hoping to keep in. I'll have to do some brainstorming.

As for Irish drinks, I'm partial to Bailey's Irish Cream. Also, if anyone can get their hands on Great Lakes beer, they sell a seasonal Irish Ale, and a seasonal stout around St. Patty's day. The stout is actually a chocolate stout, so it's not exactly like Guiness. However, it is awesome.

Jedoc I dont know, even when I am sober i tend to make a lot of sexual innuendo…I liken myself to a mixture of Carl from ATHF, Quagmire, and of course Leela because I have one eye….only not really, but our names sound kind of alike.

Rich I live in Kent which is about 45 minutes south of cleveland where the great lakes brewery is located….and their irish ale is good. I still prefer guiness to the irish ale, but it gets an 8 out of 10 in my book. I actually can only stomach 4 beers guiness, dortmunder gold from great lakes, the christmas ale from great lakes and the irish ale. other than that, its vodka drinks and bitch pops for me (like mikes hard lemonade) oh yeah, an my fiancee says i'm a wino, but I say that I am a conniseur. as far as the segal drink goes "s" could stand for stolichnaya vodka, "e" could stand for everclear, "a" could stand for absolut (one of the flavored ones). "g" could stand for goldschlager, "a" could stand for absinthe, and the "l" could stand for the lightning bolt entegy drink itself. i'm drunk again just from thinking about that concoction.

Well, a Seagalmeggedon seems a little too much for me, but I will totally be there to make them scream out movie titles and watch them die. ^^ Sounds like a one man party.

To be an honest Seagalmeggedon though, is that you must always remember it as being an active and exciting drink, but when you actually sit down with one in front of you it starts to look stale by comparison to the other stuff on the shelves.

By the way, is Boing Chika Wow Wow the version from the 1970s adult version of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too? The one where Piglet served as fluffer?

So much better than when they made the brutal boxing film, but the soundtrack stays with me…"It's the Eye of the Tigger, it's the thrill of the pounce, rising up to the challenge of the Eeyore"

I love drinking almost as much as you so thank you for this delicious sounding recipe. Drink it up, DRink it up, Drink it up!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOOTTTTTWOEIRU

I always thought "tigger" was a dated racist joke. Terribly inappropriate for children. But they stuck with it in the end. Oh well.

FM, anything written for children before about 1980 could probably be considered dated racism as a whole. Just look at Enid Blyton's stuff.

Dan, well, to be fair Piglet didn't get his break until they needed someone to play a twink, and Roo wasn't legal. After that, he became major league.

You know, sometimes I wonder how low I can possibly sink, that there must be some level at which even my brain refuses to go…then my mind makes me think up Winnie the Pooh 70's adult movies. Eh, I'm sick, I need help.

Speaking of "naughty animals," have you guys seen this weird commercial for something called Orangina. It blew my mind.

Guise and FM
Another example of racist, or at least terribly condescending, children's fiction, is the Bobbsey Twins series, by Laura Lee Hope (actually a pseudonym for a stable of staff writers, who also put out the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew series of books under different pseudonyms). In these books, the Bobbsey family had a "colored" cook, Dinah, from whose mouth every other word was something akin to "lawsy me,", or "chile", and her husband Sam worked at Mr. Bobbsey's lumber yard.

JLAJRC
I saw that, Dio posted it over on the Box 23 discussion a few days ago. We decided that was how Waiter Betty made her legitamate money when she's not at home, giving lap dances in the forest.

Guise I figure you can still go a little lower, anyone who's watched Winnie the Pooh knew Piglet was a twink.

Matt, just got done reading your article in Toyfare on M.U.S.C.L.E.S. I never realized that there were so many of them out there. Keep up the good work.

JLAJRC -
Reading the comments some people made on that YouTube video makes me glad that Matt does such a good job moderating any over-the-top trolls on the X-E threads.

Ummm are furries the same as the people who dress in animal costumes and have sex…On CSI they called em Fuzzies.

I don't think I've ever heard the name Bitch Pops used for those drinks, but I like it. If you get a chance, try Blackout Stout if you can. I'm not sure how it is in bottles, as I've only had it in draft. The thing I miss about Ohio the most is no Great Lakes where I go to school. Also, thanks for the idea! I was thinking of something just like that. I kind of cherry-picked the names, but here's what I got right now:

Spiced Rum
Everclear (or 151 if unavailable)
Absolut Fruit-Flavored Vodka
Gin
Absolut Fruit-Flavored Vodka
Lightning Bolt

I do think it'd be pretty nice to have twice as much fruit vodka compared to everything else, but it seems like I'm suggesting (if I put vodka twice) that there be twice as much vodka as energy drink. Does that look like it to anybody else? Also, this doesn't seem over the top enough, either. Any more ideas?

Also, Guise, don't worry about this being worse than other drinks. Steven Seagal's energy drink is so terrible that after trying it once, you'll never want another one.

Rich
I've never had the distinct (dis)pleasure of trying Mr. Seagal's energy drink either but I'd give the "Segalmagedon one a shot.

Not being much of a drinker myself, but since I'm gonna be legal the week after St. Patty's, my interest has started to get piqued.

Coming way late into this discussion I know, but I gotta say the possibility of Winnie the Poo characters being twinks and what not is by the far the best part of it. Ironically, Winnie himself doesn't really fit the traditional characteristics of a "Bear."

I for one love celery, although I've always wondered who's idea it was to pair it with random foods like buffalo wings and Bloody Marys. I don't really see the connection. As for Bloody Marys themselves, I've tried to like them, I really have, but at the end of the day I've yet to have one that just didn't taste like V8, which is just foul.

Uh… hate to break it to you Matt, but that's called a Caesar, and it was invented in Canada.

Visaman: Isn't a Caesar essentially a Bloody Mary with Clamato replacing tomato juice? If so, this definitely isn't it. It's tomato-flavored vodka as opposed to vodka-flavored tomato juice. Fortunately, I like both variations.

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