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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

The Bloody Mary Martini.

I'm almost over this busy hump of workworkwork that's kept me from writing about potato chips and action figures for the past few weeks. Enough to where I feel pretty good about promising a new blog post every day for the next week or so. Gonna spend the afternoon mapping out what will be covered, but for now, let's go with a totally uninteresting cocktail recipe that I half-created and half stole from online resources: The Bloody Mary Martini.


I love a good Bloody Mary, but as I've mentioned in elder posts, there's rarely an opportunity to drink them. Whenever I order one, it's clearly the wrong time. When you're out on the town with friends, the last thing you want is a soup of a drink that makes you want to lay down for an hour. It's considered a morning cocktail and a hangover cure, but drinking in the morning isn't as fun, and setting up the circumstances for a Bloody Mary to be used as a hangover cure doesn't sound like much fun either.

So, this recipe meshes what I love about the Bloody Mary with my more typical get-drunk-quick scheme: The Dirty Martini. Whereas the ol' B.M. is predominantly tomato or vegetable juice with a dash of vodka, here the ingredient amounts are reversed: It's mostly vodka with a dash of red.

Here's how you do it: Throw four parts vodka and one part Spicy Hot V8 (or your vegetable-based juice-of-choice) in a cocktail shaker, along with a bunch of crushed pepper and whatever other spices you find appealing. Might want to add a spoonful of olive brine too, but that's a negotiable point. If you like 'em extra spicy, toss in a few drops of Tabasco sauce. Throw in a bunch of ice cubes, cover the shaker, and make like it's a maraca for several seconds. Strain into a martini glass, and you are completely and totally done.

I don't know how this cocktail spinoff never occurred to me before. It's really simple and tastes great, with enough of a tomato twist to pay tribute to the Bloody Mary, but also with enough alcohol to make your fingers and toes feel warm and buzzy.

Both the martini and Bloody Mary cocktails heavily rely on their awesome and distinct garnishes, and you've got plenty of options with the Bloody Mary Martini. I went with asparagus spears, mainly because my heart flutters at any opportunity to do more with asparagus spears than letting them rot at the bottom of the fridge.

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Posted by Matt on 02/23/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 134 comments

How about some Sambuca, to add to the taste adventure of the Seagalmegeddon? And another ingredient for each letter of his last name? Say, Absinthe for the first A, Galliano for the G, etc…

Chestnuts roasted by Old Jim @ 02/24/2008 2:23 PM


okay kids and kats…keeping with this drink topic…I found a little gem of a clip by Kids In The Hall about a guy who gets to be an alcoholic off Girl Drinks….its a little long about 6 min and change but totally in them with the topic…enjoy

http://youtube.com/watch?v=epa5YZIJU8I

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 02/24/2008 2:32 PM


Speaking of alcoholic beverages, with St. Patrick’s Day swiftly approaching, does anyone have a favorite seasonal libation (besides, Guinness, of course)? And as far as Irish Whiskey, do you prefer Bushmill’s or Jameson, or another? I like Jameson, personally.

Chestnuts roasted by Old Jim @ 02/24/2008 2:39 PM


As you know, being from Canada we tend to stick with Ceasars, not so much Bloody Marys. I was intrigued by your use of asparagus, until I realized it’s plain uncooked asparagus, ugh… Here, at higher brow Ceasar establishments, they are served with pickled asparagus, which not only make a great stir stick, but also a tasty treat.

Chestnuts roasted by Tterb @ 02/24/2008 3:01 PM


Tterb –
Pickled asparagus, you say? Sounds intriguing…

Chestnuts roasted by Old Jim @ 02/24/2008 3:13 PM


I blame this blog for the bloody mary I drank last night. I don’t get the asparagus thing, I prefer them with celery.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 02/24/2008 3:15 PM


Old Jim, has anyone ever told you you’re a genius? Because that’s a genius idea. I’ll have to ponder that one, i.e. figure out what liqours easily available correspond to the letters in Seagal. Hmm, this might keep vodka out, which I was hoping to keep in. I’ll have to do some brainstorming.

As for Irish drinks, I’m partial to Bailey’s Irish Cream. Also, if anyone can get their hands on Great Lakes beer, they sell a seasonal Irish Ale, and a seasonal stout around St. Patty’s day. The stout is actually a chocolate stout, so it’s not exactly like Guiness. However, it is awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Rich @ 02/24/2008 3:16 PM


Jedoc I dont know, even when I am sober i tend to make a lot of sexual innuendo…I liken myself to a mixture of Carl from ATHF, Quagmire, and of course Leela because I have one eye….only not really, but our names sound kind of alike.

Chestnuts roasted by Leigha @ 02/24/2008 3:40 PM


Rich I live in Kent which is about 45 minutes south of cleveland where the great lakes brewery is located….and their irish ale is good. I still prefer guiness to the irish ale, but it gets an 8 out of 10 in my book. I actually can only stomach 4 beers guiness, dortmunder gold from great lakes, the christmas ale from great lakes and the irish ale. other than that, its vodka drinks and bitch pops for me (like mikes hard lemonade) oh yeah, an my fiancee says i’m a wino, but I say that I am a conniseur. as far as the segal drink goes “s” could stand for stolichnaya vodka, “e” could stand for everclear, “a” could stand for absolut (one of the flavored ones). “g” could stand for goldschlager, “a” could stand for absinthe, and the “l” could stand for the lightning bolt entegy drink itself. i’m drunk again just from thinking about that concoction.

Chestnuts roasted by Leigha @ 02/24/2008 3:51 PM


Well, a Seagalmeggedon seems a little too much for me, but I will totally be there to make them scream out movie titles and watch them die. ^^ Sounds like a one man party.

Pickled asparagus. Tasty.

Chestnuts roasted by Dio and Lex @ 02/24/2008 6:23 PM


To be an honest Seagalmeggedon though, is that you must always remember it as being an active and exciting drink, but when you actually sit down with one in front of you it starts to look stale by comparison to the other stuff on the shelves.

By the way, is Boing Chika Wow Wow the version from the 1970s adult version of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too? The one where Piglet served as fluffer?

So much better than when they made the brutal boxing film, but the soundtrack stays with me…”It’s the Eye of the Tigger, it’s the thrill of the pounce, rising up to the challenge of the Eeyore”

Chestnuts roasted by Guise @ 02/24/2008 6:49 PM


………I’m never going to get that image out of my head. Ever.

Chestnuts roasted by Dio and Lex @ 02/24/2008 7:07 PM


mmhmm…
“They’re bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!”

Chestnuts roasted by Guise @ 02/24/2008 7:10 PM


I love drinking almost as much as you so thank you for this delicious sounding recipe. Drink it up, DRink it up, Drink it up!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOOTTTTTWOEIRU

Chestnuts roasted by I'm Wasted @ 02/24/2008 7:25 PM


So wrong, Guise. So gloriously wrong!!

I always thought “tigger” was a dated racist joke. Terribly inappropriate for children. But they stuck with it in the end. Oh well.

Chestnuts roasted by Fungusmungus @ 02/24/2008 7:48 PM


I always knew Piglet was the bitch of the bunch!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 02/24/2008 7:57 PM


FM, anything written for children before about 1980 could probably be considered dated racism as a whole. Just look at Enid Blyton’s stuff.

Dan, well, to be fair Piglet didn’t get his break until they needed someone to play a twink, and Roo wasn’t legal. After that, he became major league.

You know, sometimes I wonder how low I can possibly sink, that there must be some level at which even my brain refuses to go…then my mind makes me think up Winnie the Pooh 70′s adult movies. Eh, I’m sick, I need help.

Chestnuts roasted by Guise @ 02/24/2008 8:06 PM


Speaking of “naughty animals,” have you guys seen this weird commercial for something called Orangina. It blew my mind.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 02/24/2008 8:29 PM


Guise and FM
Another example of racist, or at least terribly condescending, children’s fiction, is the Bobbsey Twins series, by Laura Lee Hope (actually a pseudonym for a stable of staff writers, who also put out the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew series of books under different pseudonyms). In these books, the Bobbsey family had a “colored” cook, Dinah, from whose mouth every other word was something akin to “lawsy me,”, or “chile”, and her husband Sam worked at Mr. Bobbsey’s lumber yard.

Chestnuts roasted by Old Jim @ 02/24/2008 8:35 PM


JLAJRC
I saw that, Dio posted it over on the Box 23 discussion a few days ago. We decided that was how Waiter Betty made her legitamate money when she’s not at home, giving lap dances in the forest.

Guise I figure you can still go a little lower, anyone who’s watched Winnie the Pooh knew Piglet was a twink.

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 02/24/2008 9:30 PM


Matt, just got done reading your article in Toyfare on M.U.S.C.L.E.S. I never realized that there were so many of them out there. Keep up the good work.

Chestnuts roasted by Shaft667 @ 02/24/2008 9:38 PM


JLAJRC -
Reading the comments some people made on that YouTube video makes me glad that Matt does such a good job moderating any over-the-top trolls on the X-E threads.

Chestnuts roasted by Old Jim @ 02/24/2008 10:03 PM


Animal strip club in the forest? I’m at a loss…

That Orangina however looks delicious

Chestnuts roasted by Heza @ 02/24/2008 10:14 PM


Ummm are furries the same as the people who dress in animal costumes and have sex…On CSI they called em Fuzzies.

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 02/24/2008 10:57 PM


Yep furries/fuzzies are one and the same.

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 02/24/2008 11:21 PM


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