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The Bloody Mary Martini.

I'm almost over this busy hump of workworkwork that's kept me from writing about potato chips and action figures for the past few weeks. Enough to where I feel pretty good about promising a new blog post every day for the next week or so. Gonna spend the afternoon mapping out what will be covered, but for now, let's go with a totally uninteresting cocktail recipe that I half-created and half stole from online resources: The Bloody Mary Martini.


I love a good Bloody Mary, but as I've mentioned in elder posts, there's rarely an opportunity to drink them. Whenever I order one, it's clearly the wrong time. When you're out on the town with friends, the last thing you want is a soup of a drink that makes you want to lay down for an hour. It's considered a morning cocktail and a hangover cure, but drinking in the morning isn't as fun, and setting up the circumstances for a Bloody Mary to be used as a hangover cure doesn't sound like much fun either.

So, this recipe meshes what I love about the Bloody Mary with my more typical get-drunk-quick scheme: The Dirty Martini. Whereas the ol' B.M. is predominantly tomato or vegetable juice with a dash of vodka, here the ingredient amounts are reversed: It's mostly vodka with a dash of red.

Here's how you do it: Throw four parts vodka and one part Spicy Hot V8 (or your vegetable-based juice-of-choice) in a cocktail shaker, along with a bunch of crushed pepper and whatever other spices you find appealing. Might want to add a spoonful of olive brine too, but that's a negotiable point. If you like 'em extra spicy, toss in a few drops of Tabasco sauce. Throw in a bunch of ice cubes, cover the shaker, and make like it's a maraca for several seconds. Strain into a martini glass, and you are completely and totally done.

I don't know how this cocktail spinoff never occurred to me before. It's really simple and tastes great, with enough of a tomato twist to pay tribute to the Bloody Mary, but also with enough alcohol to make your fingers and toes feel warm and buzzy.

Both the martini and Bloody Mary cocktails heavily rely on their awesome and distinct garnishes, and you've got plenty of options with the Bloody Mary Martini. I went with asparagus spears, mainly because my heart flutters at any opportunity to do more with asparagus spears than letting them rot at the bottom of the fridge.

X-Entertainment: Your destination for '80s nostalgia. Boing chicka bow wow.

Posted by Matt on 02/23/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 134 comments

We should also hang around the 99 cent store and show off our tattoos and pocket knives to anyone trying to get in the store.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 02/23/2008 9:15 PM


XD That’s a great pic, Doho. As for “cranberry jizz”, no comment.

Is it geeky of me to want to try, just once, a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster? I’ve always wanted to try one ever since I first read Hitchhiker’s when I was 10. ^^

Chestnuts roasted by Dio and Lex @ 02/23/2008 9:24 PM


Dio you find us the recipe, I’ll mix one up and try it with you.

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 02/23/2008 9:30 PM


I’ve recently become a fan of Red Death, though I’m always up for a good Blowjob. I got this crazy Mai Tai at Red Robin the other day, though, that came in the most amazing tiki glass ever. Right now it appears that the only alcohol left in the house is a bottle of chardonnay in the back of the fridge so, well, bottoms up!

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/23/2008 9:31 PM


My husband mom…she would give him a Brandy ALexander(those are called hot toddy’s right?) to help him fall asleep when he was a kid.

Not alot of brandy but enough to make a kid drowsy.

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 02/23/2008 9:32 PM


On one hand…Matt, glad to see you delivered from constant work.

On the other hand…I’ll pass on the Bloody Mary Martini. I’m not a drinker at all. I’d rather make tomato soup. Liquor and I just do not agree with one another.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 02/23/2008 9:43 PM


I heard my dad got brandy on his gums when he was a baby to soothe his teething. That would explain a lot, considering every story my dad told me about his time in the air force was “One time we got so drunk…”

OMG, I’ve had that same mai thai. Yeah, those tiki glasses are awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Dio and Lex @ 02/23/2008 9:45 PM


I don’t like to drink much. I went out with friends last night, had one drink, and it made me so sleepy that I found it difficult to wake up ten hours later.

Plus, most drinks just don’t taste good.

Chestnuts roasted by Jemmy @ 02/23/2008 10:04 PM


Ooh, cocktails. Good stuff.

Magic Toy, your drink sounds both stiff as hell and quite interesting. I’ll have to try it some time.

And Mystie, your Red Robin not only makes Mai Tais, but they serve them in tiki glasses? Damn. I can never get one anywhere, I dunno, I guess the bars I go to have no Orgeat Syrup.

Chestnuts roasted by Tutsuro @ 02/23/2008 10:09 PM


Fuckin a….this might go down as one of the most boring Saturday’s of my life. Does anyone have a suggestion on TV viewing or anything to cure this boredom. oh yeah, happy SNT everyone!

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 02/23/2008 10:32 PM


Matt, I think you should re-think morning drinking. Instead of going in with the attitude of “I shouldn’t be drinking so early,” go in with the attitude of “Look at how much drinking I’ve done already, and it’s only at 11 AM!”

This seems like a good time to bring this up. I’ve been thinking of a way to use Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt energy drink as a base for a mixed drink. I already have the name for it: “Seagalmageddon.” I just don’t know what to mix with it. I think vodka would work, but the energy drink has a terrible aftertaste, so I wanted to cover that with some sort of flavored liquor, too, like schnapps. However, to match the name, I think at least one or two more liquors should be in the drink, to kind of match how the drink will be an ‘armageddon’ on one’s sobriety. Maybe we can come up with some ideas, and then post this online. I think it’s the right of humans everywhere to be able to concoct a mixed drink that allows them to get drunk drinking a beverage made by Steven Seagal.

Chestnuts roasted by Rich @ 02/23/2008 10:49 PM


Happy Saturday all! Glad you’re over the hump, Matt :D

I know what to order next time I go to Red Robin now. Generally a good rum/fruity boat drink is my favorite thing to have. I think I’ll go out and grab a bottle of vodka to give the Mary a shot tonight. I’ve always got cranberry juice if the tomato is too much for me.
There are a bunch of Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster recipes here, though none of them jumped out at me:
http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Bartending/Cocktails/Pan_Galactic_Gargle_Blaster

phunqsauce, if you have cable on demand you might be able to watch some of the episodes of the new show Breaking Bad from AMC. And ABC Family is playing the original Turtles movies 1 & 2 here on the west coast.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/23/2008 10:53 PM


phunqsauce, Forrest Gump is on ABC. Not too shabby.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/23/2008 10:54 PM


Rich: The Seagalmagedden? I love it. I agree with you that vodka needs to be the primary spirit involved considering your working with an energy drink, but what could be added…

… still thinking.

Chestnuts roasted by Magic Toy @ 02/23/2008 11:07 PM


Boing chicka bow wow? Chamon, Matt. I can’t help but hear stock spring sound effects when I read over that sentence.

Chestnuts roasted by Cotter @ 02/23/2008 11:10 PM


OK, Rich, here is my spin on your beloved Seagalmageddon

I see that his Lightning Bolt drinks come in 16 oz. cans, so I’ll portion it to allow four drinks per can.

4 oz. Lightning Bolt Energy Drink
1.5 oz flavored vodka (perhaps Absolut Cherry or Cranberry)

So, put your energy drink in a glass, drop in one shot glass full to the brim with your favorite flavored vodka, and drink quickly (similar to a boilermaker).

The twist… :)

As you drop the shot glass of vodka into your energy drink, stuff a handful of Pop Rocks into your mouth with your other hand. Then chug the drink.

An instant Seagalmageddon in your mouth.

Chestnuts roasted by Magic Toy @ 02/23/2008 11:21 PM


I think I will subject myself to the return of SNL later on after I roll some cigarettes (of the legal variety…..mostly)

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 02/23/2008 11:24 PM


Hey JLAJRC, I eat the celery that comes with the wings… =P

Chestnuts roasted by Ben @ 02/24/2008 12:20 AM


Celery with Buffalo/chicken wings?
That dill pickle spear that they give you with hamburgers/sandwiches/etc.?
Not to mention that parsley they occaisionally give you. Is that even edible?

I agree too. I think its the vegetable lobbyists.

I’m currently watching “The History of The Joke” on the History Channel. The funniest comics alive are on this special, trying to explain humor.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 02/24/2008 12:20 AM


Tonight sucks. I’m sick with mono and I just came home from a benefit concert that made me cry. Plus none of the friends I usually like to pester over IM are online.

I wish I wasn’t sick, ’cause some of these drink recipes sound great. Not the bloody mary, though. Tomato juice, bleh. But I sure could go for a Popped Cherry (heh heh) right about now.

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 02/24/2008 12:26 AM


Totally did not mean to put the whole thing in bold.

Chestnuts roasted by Ben @ 02/24/2008 12:40 AM


I move in two days. I don’t WANT to pack.

Chestnuts roasted by Jemmy @ 02/24/2008 12:54 AM


Sitting here nursing a glass of Cherry gatorade rain…and arguing with friends about super smash bros brawl not having voice chat and why its a good bad thing….

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 02/24/2008 1:14 AM


That’s weird, my tv has mono too.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 02/24/2008 1:34 AM


I once thought I had mono for a couple of hours.

It turns out I was just watching Wayne’s World.

I really don’t know why I said that. I actually really liked Wayne’s World, and the joke isn’t really funny.

I also really did have mono once for like six months. It morphed into Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (I postulate) and I missed half of my senior year of high school, including my graduation ceremony. (I still graduated on time though). Hey, at least I lost like 30 pounds when I was sick.

So… yeah.

Chestnuts roasted by Magic Toy @ 02/24/2008 1:43 AM


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