I'm almost over this busy hump of workworkwork that's kept me from writing about potato chips and action figures for the past few weeks. Enough to where I feel pretty good about promising a new blog post every day for the next week or so. Gonna spend the afternoon mapping out what will be covered, but for now, let's go with a totally uninteresting cocktail recipe that I half-created and half stole from online resources: The Bloody Mary Martini.

I love a good Bloody Mary, but as I've mentioned in elder posts, there's rarely an opportunity to drink them. Whenever I order one, it's clearly the wrong time. When you're out on the town with friends, the last thing you want is a soup of a drink that makes you want to lay down for an hour. It's considered a morning cocktail and a hangover cure, but drinking in the morning isn't as fun, and setting up the circumstances for a Bloody Mary to be used as a hangover cure doesn't sound like much fun either.
So, this recipe meshes what I love about the Bloody Mary with my more typical get-drunk-quick scheme: The Dirty Martini. Whereas the ol' B.M. is predominantly tomato or vegetable juice with a dash of vodka, here the ingredient amounts are reversed: It's mostly vodka with a dash of red.
Here's how you do it: Throw four parts vodka and one part Spicy Hot V8 (or your vegetable-based juice-of-choice) in a cocktail shaker, along with a bunch of crushed pepper and whatever other spices you find appealing. Might want to add a spoonful of olive brine too, but that's a negotiable point. If you like 'em extra spicy, toss in a few drops of Tabasco sauce. Throw in a bunch of ice cubes, cover the shaker, and make like it's a maraca for several seconds. Strain into a martini glass, and you are completely and totally done.
I don't know how this cocktail spinoff never occurred to me before. It's really simple and tastes great, with enough of a tomato twist to pay tribute to the Bloody Mary, but also with enough alcohol to make your fingers and toes feel warm and buzzy.
Both the martini and Bloody Mary cocktails heavily rely on their awesome and distinct garnishes, and you've got plenty of options with the Bloody Mary Martini. I went with asparagus spears, mainly because my heart flutters at any opportunity to do more with asparagus spears than letting them rot at the bottom of the fridge.
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Posted by Matt on 02/23/2008. E-mail me!










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Leigha,
I don’t think I’ve ever heard the name Bitch Pops used for those drinks, but I like it. If you get a chance, try Blackout Stout if you can. I’m not sure how it is in bottles, as I’ve only had it in draft. The thing I miss about Ohio the most is no Great Lakes where I go to school. Also, thanks for the idea! I was thinking of something just like that. I kind of cherry-picked the names, but here’s what I got right now:
Spiced Rum
Everclear (or 151 if unavailable)
Absolut Fruit-Flavored Vodka
Gin
Absolut Fruit-Flavored Vodka
Lightning Bolt
I do think it’d be pretty nice to have twice as much fruit vodka compared to everything else, but it seems like I’m suggesting (if I put vodka twice) that there be twice as much vodka as energy drink. Does that look like it to anybody else? Also, this doesn’t seem over the top enough, either. Any more ideas?
Also, Guise, don’t worry about this being worse than other drinks. Steven Seagal’s energy drink is so terrible that after trying it once, you’ll never want another one.