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02/23/2008: The Bloody Mary Martini.

I’m almost over this busy hump of workworkwork that’s kept me from writing about potato chips and action figures for the past few weeks. Enough to where I feel pretty good about promising a new blog post every day for the next week or so. Gonna spend the afternoon mapping out what will be covered, but for now, let’s go with a totally uninteresting cocktail recipe that I half-created and half stole from online resources: The Bloody Mary Martini.


I love a good Bloody Mary, but as I’ve mentioned in elder posts, there’s rarely an opportunity to drink them. Whenever I order one, it’s clearly the wrong time. When you’re out on the town with friends, the last thing you want is a soup of a drink that makes you want to lay down for an hour. It’s considered a morning cocktail and a hangover cure, but drinking in the morning isn’t as fun, and setting up the circumstances for a Bloody Mary to be used as a hangover cure doesn’t sound like much fun either.

So, this recipe meshes what I love about the Bloody Mary with my more typical get-drunk-quick scheme: The Dirty Martini. Whereas the ol’ B.M. is predominantly tomato or vegetable juice with a dash of vodka, here the ingredient amounts are reversed: It’s mostly vodka with a dash of red.

Here’s how you do it: Throw four parts vodka and one part Spicy Hot V8 (or your vegetable-based juice-of-choice) in a cocktail shaker, along with a bunch of crushed pepper and whatever other spices you find appealing. Might want to add a spoonful of olive brine too, but that’s a negotiable point. If you like ‘em extra spicy, toss in a few drops of Tabasco sauce. Throw in a bunch of ice cubes, cover the shaker, and make like it’s a maraca for several seconds. Strain into a martini glass, and you are completely and totally done.

I don’t know how this cocktail spinoff never occurred to me before. It’s really simple and tastes great, with enough of a tomato twist to pay tribute to the Bloody Mary, but also with enough alcohol to make your fingers and toes feel warm and buzzy.

Both the martini and Bloody Mary cocktails heavily rely on their awesome and distinct garnishes, and you’ve got plenty of options with the Bloody Mary Martini. I went with asparagus spears, mainly because my heart flutters at any opportunity to do more with asparagus spears than letting them rot at the bottom of the fridge.

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Discussion Thread: 133 comments

How about some Sambuca, to add to the taste adventure of the Seagalmegeddon? And another ingredient for each letter of his last name? Say, Absinthe for the first A, Galliano for the G, etc…

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 02/24/2008 2:23 PM EST


okay kids and kats…keeping with this drink topic…I found a little gem of a clip by Kids In The Hall about a guy who gets to be an alcoholic off Girl Drinks….its a little long about 6 min and change but totally in them with the topic…enjoy

http://youtube.com/watch?v=epa5YZIJU8I

Ghosted by mandy_Reeves @ 02/24/2008 2:32 PM EST


Speaking of alcoholic beverages, with St. Patrick’s Day swiftly approaching, does anyone have a favorite seasonal libation (besides, Guinness, of course)? And as far as Irish Whiskey, do you prefer Bushmill’s or Jameson, or another? I like Jameson, personally.

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 02/24/2008 2:39 PM EST


As you know, being from Canada we tend to stick with Ceasars, not so much Bloody Marys. I was intrigued by your use of asparagus, until I realized it’s plain uncooked asparagus, ugh… Here, at higher brow Ceasar establishments, they are served with pickled asparagus, which not only make a great stir stick, but also a tasty treat.

Ghosted by Tterb @ 02/24/2008 3:01 PM EST


Tterb –
Pickled asparagus, you say? Sounds intriguing…

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 02/24/2008 3:13 PM EST


I blame this blog for the bloody mary I drank last night. I don’t get the asparagus thing, I prefer them with celery.

Ghosted by kb @ 02/24/2008 3:15 PM EST


Old Jim, has anyone ever told you you’re a genius? Because that’s a genius idea. I’ll have to ponder that one, i.e. figure out what liqours easily available correspond to the letters in Seagal. Hmm, this might keep vodka out, which I was hoping to keep in. I’ll have to do some brainstorming.

As for Irish drinks, I’m partial to Bailey’s Irish Cream. Also, if anyone can get their hands on Great Lakes beer, they sell a seasonal Irish Ale, and a seasonal stout around St. Patty’s day. The stout is actually a chocolate stout, so it’s not exactly like Guiness. However, it is awesome.

Ghosted by Rich @ 02/24/2008 3:16 PM EST


Jedoc I dont know, even when I am sober i tend to make a lot of sexual innuendo…I liken myself to a mixture of Carl from ATHF, Quagmire, and of course Leela because I have one eye….only not really, but our names sound kind of alike.

Ghosted by Leigha @ 02/24/2008 3:40 PM EST


Rich I live in Kent which is about 45 minutes south of cleveland where the great lakes brewery is located….and their irish ale is good. I still prefer guiness to the irish ale, but it gets an 8 out of 10 in my book. I actually can only stomach 4 beers guiness, dortmunder gold from great lakes, the christmas ale from great lakes and the irish ale. other than that, its vodka drinks and bitch pops for me (like mikes hard lemonade) oh yeah, an my fiancee says i’m a wino, but I say that I am a conniseur. as far as the segal drink goes “s” could stand for stolichnaya vodka, “e” could stand for everclear, “a” could stand for absolut (one of the flavored ones). “g” could stand for goldschlager, “a” could stand for absinthe, and the “l” could stand for the lightning bolt entegy drink itself. i’m drunk again just from thinking about that concoction.

Ghosted by Leigha @ 02/24/2008 3:51 PM EST


Well, a Seagalmeggedon seems a little too much for me, but I will totally be there to make them scream out movie titles and watch them die. ^^ Sounds like a one man party.

Pickled asparagus. Tasty.

Ghosted by Dio and Lex @ 02/24/2008 6:23 PM EST


To be an honest Seagalmeggedon though, is that you must always remember it as being an active and exciting drink, but when you actually sit down with one in front of you it starts to look stale by comparison to the other stuff on the shelves.

By the way, is Boing Chika Wow Wow the version from the 1970s adult version of Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too? The one where Piglet served as fluffer?

So much better than when they made the brutal boxing film, but the soundtrack stays with me…”It’s the Eye of the Tigger, it’s the thrill of the pounce, rising up to the challenge of the Eeyore”

Ghosted by Guise @ 02/24/2008 6:49 PM EST


………I’m never going to get that image out of my head. Ever.

Ghosted by Dio and Lex @ 02/24/2008 7:07 PM EST


mmhmm…
“They’re bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!”

Ghosted by Guise @ 02/24/2008 7:10 PM EST


I love drinking almost as much as you so thank you for this delicious sounding recipe. Drink it up, DRink it up, Drink it up!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOOTTTTTWOEIRU

Ghosted by I'm Wasted @ 02/24/2008 7:25 PM EST


So wrong, Guise. So gloriously wrong!!

I always thought “tigger” was a dated racist joke. Terribly inappropriate for children. But they stuck with it in the end. Oh well.

Ghosted by Fungusmungus @ 02/24/2008 7:48 PM EST


I always knew Piglet was the bitch of the bunch!!!

Ghosted by Dan @ 02/24/2008 7:57 PM EST


FM, anything written for children before about 1980 could probably be considered dated racism as a whole. Just look at Enid Blyton’s stuff.

Dan, well, to be fair Piglet didn’t get his break until they needed someone to play a twink, and Roo wasn’t legal. After that, he became major league.

You know, sometimes I wonder how low I can possibly sink, that there must be some level at which even my brain refuses to go…then my mind makes me think up Winnie the Pooh 70’s adult movies. Eh, I’m sick, I need help.

Ghosted by Guise @ 02/24/2008 8:06 PM EST


Speaking of “naughty animals,” have you guys seen this weird commercial for something called Orangina. It blew my mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHA9Ig7HOGA&feature=related

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 02/24/2008 8:29 PM EST


Guise and FM
Another example of racist, or at least terribly condescending, children’s fiction, is the Bobbsey Twins series, by Laura Lee Hope (actually a pseudonym for a stable of staff writers, who also put out the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew series of books under different pseudonyms). In these books, the Bobbsey family had a “colored” cook, Dinah, from whose mouth every other word was something akin to “lawsy me,”, or “chile”, and her husband Sam worked at Mr. Bobbsey’s lumber yard.

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 02/24/2008 8:35 PM EST


JLAJRC
I saw that, Dio posted it over on the Box 23 discussion a few days ago. We decided that was how Waiter Betty made her legitamate money when she’s not at home, giving lap dances in the forest.

Guise I figure you can still go a little lower, anyone who’s watched Winnie the Pooh knew Piglet was a twink.

Ghosted by Dan @ 02/24/2008 9:30 PM EST


Matt, just got done reading your article in Toyfare on M.U.S.C.L.E.S. I never realized that there were so many of them out there. Keep up the good work.

Ghosted by Shaft667 @ 02/24/2008 9:38 PM EST


JLAJRC -
Reading the comments some people made on that YouTube video makes me glad that Matt does such a good job moderating any over-the-top trolls on the X-E threads.

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 02/24/2008 10:03 PM EST


Animal strip club in the forest? I’m at a loss…

That Orangina however looks delicious

Ghosted by Heza @ 02/24/2008 10:14 PM EST


Ummm are furries the same as the people who dress in animal costumes and have sex…On CSI they called em Fuzzies.

Ghosted by mandy_Reeves @ 02/24/2008 10:57 PM EST


Yep furries/fuzzies are one and the same.

Ghosted by Dan @ 02/24/2008 11:21 PM EST


Leigha,

I don’t think I’ve ever heard the name Bitch Pops used for those drinks, but I like it. If you get a chance, try Blackout Stout if you can. I’m not sure how it is in bottles, as I’ve only had it in draft. The thing I miss about Ohio the most is no Great Lakes where I go to school. Also, thanks for the idea! I was thinking of something just like that. I kind of cherry-picked the names, but here’s what I got right now:

Spiced Rum
Everclear (or 151 if unavailable)
Absolut Fruit-Flavored Vodka
Gin
Absolut Fruit-Flavored Vodka
Lightning Bolt

I do think it’d be pretty nice to have twice as much fruit vodka compared to everything else, but it seems like I’m suggesting (if I put vodka twice) that there be twice as much vodka as energy drink. Does that look like it to anybody else? Also, this doesn’t seem over the top enough, either. Any more ideas?

Also, Guise, don’t worry about this being worse than other drinks. Steven Seagal’s energy drink is so terrible that after trying it once, you’ll never want another one.

Ghosted by Rich @ 02/25/2008 12:00 AM EST


Rich
I’ve never had the distinct (dis)pleasure of trying Mr. Seagal’s energy drink either but I’d give the “Segalmagedon one a shot.

Ghosted by Dan @ 02/25/2008 12:20 AM EST


Not being much of a drinker myself, but since I’m gonna be legal the week after St. Patty’s, my interest has started to get piqued.

I’ve always wanted to try Guinness.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 02/25/2008 12:21 AM EST


Coming way late into this discussion I know, but I gotta say the possibility of Winnie the Poo characters being twinks and what not is by the far the best part of it. Ironically, Winnie himself doesn’t really fit the traditional characteristics of a “Bear.”

I for one love celery, although I’ve always wondered who’s idea it was to pair it with random foods like buffalo wings and Bloody Marys. I don’t really see the connection. As for Bloody Marys themselves, I’ve tried to like them, I really have, but at the end of the day I’ve yet to have one that just didn’t taste like V8, which is just foul.

And yeah, where in the hell IS JoshC anyways?

Ghosted by DJ D @ 02/25/2008 2:27 AM EST


Man, that looks good. Guess I picked a bad week to quit drinkin.

Ghosted by Hope @ 02/25/2008 4:27 AM EST


Uh… hate to break it to you Matt, but that’s called a Caesar, and it was invented in Canada.

All you need is some Clamato.

Ghosted by Anonymous @ 02/26/2008 3:53 AM EST


Uh… hate to break it to you Matt, but that’s called a Caesar, and it was invented in Canada.

All you need is some Clamato.

Ghosted by Visaman @ 02/26/2008 3:54 AM EST


Visaman: Isn’t a Caesar essentially a Bloody Mary with Clamato replacing tomato juice? If so, this definitely isn’t it. It’s tomato-flavored vodka as opposed to vodka-flavored tomato juice. Fortunately, I like both variations. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 02/26/2008 10:53 AM EST


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