The X-Entertainment Blog

02/03/2008: Bud Bowl Sunday!

Hey, it’s Super Bowl Sunday! You don’t need to be a football fan to be excited about that, and Lord knows I’m not. (Well, I am rooting for the Giants, mainly because if my car breaks down near a dive bar tonight, I’d prefer that its tenants put happy drunken arms around me rather than beat me senseless with whiskey bottles in heated protest of a hometown victory gone astray.) Is it kosher to put sentences that long in parenthesis?

I made the mistake of skipping out on the many Super Bowl betting pools that came my way through the various companies I’m in league with, but the thrill of zillion-dollar commercials and potentially world-changing halftime shows is enough to make me regret the fact that the closest thing we have to buffalo wings in our freezer is…well, one of those Kryptonite Slurpees that I’ve absolutely refused to throw away.

Getting back to the commercials, let’s face it: More than a negligible percentage of today’s TV ratings will come from people who aren’t at all interested in the game, but moreover just want to see which companies can turn a multimillion dollar investment into tomorrow’s water cooler banter. For every success story (Monster.com’s highly regarded black-and-white kiddy testimonial from several years back), there’s a sad tale — like Pepsi spending four hundred trillion dollars to produce a Van Halen-boosted visual anthem for a crystal clear beverage that’d be immediately lampooned as liquid shit. Suffice to say, the commercial competition can be just as intense as the football games.

I’m not here to run through the history of Super Bowl ads, but I’ll be damned if I don’t at least pay some small tribute to the one campaign that could be counted on for unbridled awesomeness year after year after year: Budweiser’s Bud Bowl!

Beginning in 1989 and lasting for far longer than I realized before looking it up just now, Bud Bowl was an absolutely brilliant series of interstitials featuring helmeted beer bottles squaring off for their own version of the Super Bowl ring, or trophy, or whatever the fuck the winning team gets when they kick the ball between those big yellow stick things.

From what I remember (and my apologies if the scope changed in later years; I’m only referring to the first few “seasons” of Bud Bowlage), the games took place in small slices, spanning across several commercial breaks during each Super Bowl. The teams? Budweiser and Bud Light, realized by fitting glass beer bottles with football helmets and angry curvatures. They’d play their games in packed arenas (usually filled with “can fans”), and though Budweiser took most of the victories, the scores were always close enough to where neither brand had to feel bad about itself.

In grade school, we talked about and bet on the Bud Bowl as if it were the true attraction of Super Bowl Sunday, and in an era without Tivo, I’d actually sit through the entire football game if that’s what it took to see all of that year’s Bud Bowl spots. The well-produced and comedic ads were wonderful, but since I usually had ten bucks on one of the teams (my entire bank account at the time), my interest was more than just speculatory.

If nothing else, the campaign paved way for one of my favorite crafty projects of childhood: Grabbing my family’s empty beer bottles, fitting them with those cheap supermarket vending machine toy football helmets, and coaching my own teams of glass athletes toward championships of my own design.

Hard to say if any of this year’s ad spots will inspire me to that degree, but since I’m now more prone to drink ten bottles of beer rather than turn them into action figures, anything is possible.

Click here to watch an old Bud Bowl promo. Click here to learn the story of the magnificent coconut crab.

Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

I loved Bud Bowl. That kinda stuff is really the only reason I sometimes watched the games. The commercials have been getting worse the last few years though - and have you noticed, most of them you don’t see again for 6 months? What’s up with that? They need to bring back stuff like Bud Bowl.

That crab looks WAY too much like a spider, for me.

But I can’t wait until Deadliest Catch comes back on.

I cant say that I ever watched the bud bowl with great intent……I did however find a way to really piss off my fiancee last year, which was to turn it on animal planet’s “puppy bowl” while he wasnt looking. Still, in terms of the halftime show, I dont think anything can beat last year’s Prince spectacular. Not even Janet Jackson’s boob got me that excited.

I’m a huge Tom Petty fan, but I’m expecting to be let down by his halftime show, so I probably won’t tune in. It’d be cool if teaser trailers were shown for “Indy 4″ or “Incredible Hulk,” though.

Hells to the mother fucking yeah! I lucked in on a new post when I was sure there would not be one. Nothings imposible in America! Ill be drunk by kick off. Go Pats, sorry Giant fans I want to see a record set that may go unbroken in my lifetime.

I miss the Bud Bowl commercials but at least Bud still has some of the more entertaining commercials during the Superbowl. I hope they keep it up for this year.

Man, screw coconut crabs so much. I just learned about the things a few months ago when I found out that picture of the giant alien bug hanging off a trashcan wasn’t photoshopped. If I ever found something like that in my back yard, particularly if it was cracking a coconut with its claws, I would put all my money into shotgun shells and reinforced concrete.

The strange thing is that I’m generally a fan of most arthropods. Spiders and I have a fairly liberal truce (they stay out of my shower and I leave them alone) and I had a giant millipede for a pet when I was a kid. But there’s something about coconut crabs that really make me want to volunteer for a mission to Mars just so I can put more distance between me and them.

Unfortunately the more impressive crab pics are actually photoshopped, not real.

Ah yes Bud Bowl. I loved that thing. Haven’t decided yet if I will watch today. Does anyone know when it starts…and what channel it’s on?

Oh yeah, super bowl time! I watch exclusively for the commercials….You mean they actually play football? I thought it was a celebration of commercialization.

I guess the whole “Bud Bowl” thing was a little before my time…but at least now I know what the Simpsons’ “Duff Bowl” is referencing (and the folks at Moe’s had a pool going on that).

Commander Awesome, I too am a Tom Petty fan, so I’m really excited that I actually get to see a band I like in the halftime show, at a point when I actually like them (for that to make sense, you have to understand that I got into the Beatles about a month after he did the halftime show, ditto with Melissa Etheridge when she was on the Oscars, I think it was).

Also, does anyone know if MTV still does “Celebrity Deathmatch”? I used to watch the Superbowl solely so that I would know when Halftime was, so that I could watch claymation celebrities beat the shit out of each other. I am fully convinced that this at least partly explains why I am so enamored of horror movies…

I remember being really psyched about Bud Bowl when I was a kid. Commercials have gone downhill the last few years, it seems to me.

Ahem, I remember the Bud Bowl. I think I rooted for Bud Lite but I don’t really know why.

I actually remember bud bowl commercials, one of those strange things from your childhood you have no idea why you remember. I usually only watch for commercials, and unless another channel can lure me away with promises of grand marathons, that’s what I’ll be doing this year.

I’m with Eddie about the puppy bowl, I’m watching it right now my puppy, it’s a super bowl he can relate to.

*watching it right now WITH my puppy….it sounded a little strange the other way.

Actually, I’m making chili tonight. Never done it before, but my family always eats chili on Super Bowl Sunday.

Hm, coconut crab or Matt’s alien face hugger…that’s a fight night special.

Oh, and yay…I get to see Cloverfield on Tuesday now it’s in the UK. We’ve had almost no hype, so it’ll probably be quiet.

I personally hate football to the point where I can’t even bring myself to watch for the ads. Can’t say I’m a big Tom Petty fan, either. I wish I had a Superbowl party to go to, though. I want wings and beer

I’ll be looking forward to the game in about an hour. I neve imagined I’d see a Super Bowl with so much on the line for either team. Being a Bengals fan I believe the Super Bowl should always stick with the AFC even if the Bengals are not in it (unless it’s Pittsburgh or Baltimore).

Vanilla: They did bring back Celebrity Deathmatch last year on MTV2. Whether they’ll renew it is anyone’s guess.

So is there anything good to watch on TV now other than the Superbowl? Or do I need to start fiddling through my DVD collection?

I never saw a Bud Bowl as they happened, but I wanted to SOOO badly. Good to see someone has posted the commercials up on the interweb!

I wish WWE still did Halftime Heat during halftime of the Super Bowl! The first time that they did it, Mankind beat The Rock for the WWF Championship for the second time in an Empty Arena Match which is still one of my all-time favourite matches. They then did a Stone Cold Steve Austin interview and some other stuff I forgot the next year.

I wish Celebrity Deathmatch still did their “Deathbowl” during halftime of the Super Bowl too.

Normally, I’d root for the New England Patriots to have a perfect season, but I’m rooting for the New York Giants this year (Hey, I’m a native New Yorker. I don’t care if I now live in Miami, I’m a New Yorker at heart!). So Go Giants!

Ben: If you’ve got any ale or stout in the house, pour about half a bottle into your chili before you simmer it. You can thicken it back up with a few tablespoons of cornmeal if you don’t like it so juicy. It brings out the flavor of the chili powder a treat.

I’m sitting here trying to learn to pay attention during commercials, rather than watching the game. I’m kind of hoping for the Giants to win, but not quite paying attention.

However, I am trying to have some traditional SB fare, ordered “Mexicasian.”

i have snakes, lizards, toads, fish, dogs, bunnies, turtles, scorpions, and tarantulas…… and now i want a goddamn coconut crab.

These commercials are failing pretty badly. The only snicker I got so far was during that Bridgestone commercial, when it was doing a montage of animals, during the low squeal by that mantis thing. This game is intense though. Not as much as a blowout as everyone was predicting.

I am not even bothering to watch the game, just getting play-by-play on the web at nfl.com… From what I see here, I’m really not missing anything, commercial-wise. Instead, I’m watching old episodes of CSI:NY from last season that I hadn’t caught when they were originally on, that I downloaded from the net.

Mystie, you can always watch Puppy Bowl IV on Animal Plant. I’ve been watching and waiting for dog poop on the 50. Oddly it wasn’t happened yet. These are good dogs.

Yeah instead I seemed to have decided to do nothing for the past few hours. This seems to be becoming a habit. I just keep trying to think of things to decorate my desk at work with, but all that’s coming to mind is either to do a pirate theme or just throw up a bunch of random crap. I really want to get some sea monkeys, but I spent the last of my money on tickets to Dracula’s Ball.

I’m not really that into the vampire/Goth scene, or I would probably go… My brother and his family live just outside Philly, so I could always crash there.

I so want to be at the next Manning reunion, watching Peyton & Eli showing off their matching rings.

Strangely enough, the first thing that popped into my head upon seeing those crabs: “I’ve got a lov-e-ly bunch of coconuts, diddly-dee…”

Commercials weren’t that great this year, I liked the clydesdale one and the one with all the animals doing a slow motion “noooooooo”. 4th quarter was the best part game wise of course…

Brady sucks! WOOHOO- GO ELI!!!! I live in Knoxville, TN- saw the whole Peyton era- those Manning boys are like gods here.

What. A. Game! Go Giants! I thought the best commercial was the Coke one with Stewie and Underdog balloons fighting over a Coke. And YEA! Charlie Brown finally wins in the end!

I watched most of the game; it was amazing. Then again, I can’t remember the last game I watched…but general consensus says the same thing.

Commercials: The Tide one was pretty great. Overall, I think too many of the “big ones” relied too much on cutesy or edgy effects and numbers that didn’t tie into the product (or even a general product mantra) in any way whatsoever. Oh, and this one isn’t exclusive to the SB, but it aired during it and it’s phenomenal: The one where the guy photocopies his ass in lieu of providing a business receipt for a shitty meal expense.

I enjoyed the new Wall E trailer and the Charlie brown catches the Coke commercials. Otherwise….meh..

godjilla-What is that song from??? I know it, but I can’t place it. It’s stuck in my head now and I can’t figure it out!

I saw the first half of the game; left with a bulging belly after Tom Petty (which reminds me, ought to give the “Greatest Hits” CD a spin) and thus missed the apparently amazing fourth quarter that allowed the Giants to win the game. I didn’t find out until I came home and nearly fell off my chair when I saw the score. All this, and my Cocoa-Cherry Checkerboard Cake was a huge hit, even if I can’t make icing to save my life. Congrats to Matt and all New Yorkers (and folks from northern New Jersey - we who live south of Trenton are Philadelphia Eagles people).

Yeah, I remember the Bud Bowl. My sisters and I loved the Bud Bowl. Don’t know if we ever bet on it, but we looked forward to it, more than the actual game in some years. (I always picked Bud Light. I have a thing for underdogs.)

Other than the genuinely cute Clydesdale commercial (I have a WebKinz Clydesdale who looks like a stuffed version of the Anheiser-Busch horses), I didn’t really see too many commercials that impressed me, though I remember a couple got some laughs from my dad and uncle’s guests.

I have to say if Bud Light could make me fly or breath fire I’d drink it more often.

Nooo! How the heck could this have happened!? There is no. Freaking. WAY. that this could have happened.

Abigail was such an annoying puppy! After all those fouls, she was still the MVP!? Come on! Everybody knows Rascal should have gotten it! If not Rascal, then Jackson! Jackson and Abigail were tied in the poles!

My favorite commercial was the Lifewater one with all of the lizards doing the “Thriller” dance. That cracked me up.

JLAJRC: I just checked that commercial out on Youtube, because I had to see it. Wow, that is so awesome. I have no idea what it has to do with Lifewater, but any use of the Thriller dance automatically wins in my book.

Even after that commercial I wasn’t sure what was advertised, there were too many water/gatorade style drink commercials for several different brands.

Hey Advent-urers: Anyone else getting emails from Hssxxlllo? Can someone help me with the anagrams?

Also, godjilla: One Tennessean to another, Eli Manning was the only reason I cared about the Superbowl this year. I felt a tug of loyalty to Peyton.

godjilla - Really? I live in Knoxville (recent transplant) and I had no idea they were big around here. Any reason why?

Knegative - WINS! I loove me some Dolphins.. even though they’ve consitantly disappointed me since Marino retired.

And sorry for the double post.. but Puppy Bowl? I *melted* when the beagle/half-beagle puppies were on!

Speaking of the 72 Dolphins, I just saw a commercial with them from Reebok. They’re huttling around a front yard, old and trying to remember what positions they play and then Eli delivers them a football with note saying from Eli, enjoy the perfection for 1 more year. Then there’s a town sign Perfectville population 1.

There was some special way to figure out which team would win each Bud Bowl - I think it was based on which team was winning the Super Bowl or something. I can’t remember. It’s late.

Nope nigel, I don’t think they would have aired it during the game, had they not won it would have looked done. That said, it was funnier than most of the super bowl commercials.

Uhh I want to vomit so close to perfection. Ohh well got to give it to the Giants they played like the patriots normaly play. They shut down Brady. Thats the most dirt Ive seen on tom brady all season. My top two favorite commercials were the Coke one with underdog stewie and charlie brown, and the fedex one with the giant pidgeons. Not to mention the trailers for Iron man and prince caspian. Thats my post now Im going to go drink my self to sleep.

Have to admit when I first read the post title a different kind of bowl is what first sprang to mind, but then those shots of the helmeted little bottles jogged my memory.
I almost forgot about the Puppy Bowl this year! So freaking cute. Congrats Giants fans!

I’m with MickeyD That’s a pretty bad photoshop job on those pictures. Ones that will all my skills could make.

Great Budbowl commercial! The quality isn’t that bad, whoever recorded that tape had a pretty good vcr. Budweiser I have to admit hires some pretty good people for their advertising campaigns. I have always thought I would be a great person to hire to write advertisements. I am creative like that. I think as a kid I thought it was an actual thing, and not just an advertising campaign. Shows what kids know. But I think I remember thinking the bottles in the commercials weren’t going to play but two human teams were going to play. Because the special effects can’t go on for longer then the ad spots.

I liked the Coors commercials they played a few years ago. The ones that went coors something (don’t remember, either sports or pizza LOL) and twins. SNL did a sketch about it. I would look it up on youtube right now but they are doing maintenance. And it tears me up inside.

I don’t think I ever got tired of that commercial. Which is really saying something because some are so repetitive you can’t wait until they movie on with another ad campaign. And I can’t believe that was the only upload of that commercial on youtube that I found.

Goob - for some reason that reminded me of a WWE advertisment. I don’t know what that means… but I’ll leave it up to the other X-E’ers.

I always cheered for Bud Light even though BUD BOWL was frowned upon in my house.

Dohopoki - HAHAHAHAHAHA! that was grrrrrrrrrreat! thanks. I really got a kick out of that (obviously!)

Manimal - What do you mean?.. the owing Eli a medal thing?.. I’ll go out on a limb and guess it’s got something to do with the Super Bowl? but I’d politely disagree. The Pats really dug their own grave in that game. In my opinion, of course.

Nigel Chaos
The 72 Dolphins owe Eli a medal because since Eli’s team won, the 72 Dolphins are still the only team to have a “Perfect” season.

Arggggggggggg……………Patriots! why why why why why why why why come on!……………
Congrats to the Giants. They did it they shut down Tom Brady. I followed this whole season for the first time, and thought that i may be a witness to history. But it wasnt to be.

dohopoki: Hah! I don’t follow football much, but I know a good burn when I see one. I’ve got a friend who used to be a huge Dolphins fan. I’ll have to send him a link.

Worst commercial of the broadcast- has to be those Sales Genie commercials. Talk about wasting millions, they ran 2 or 3 and each one sucked worse than the previous one.

Kudo’s to the Coke commercial, Charlie Brown finally got his due although I’m kinda torn about anyone messing with the status quo of my cartoon icons.

Like that recent comic strip (forgot the name, some little girl character) that found the remains of Calvin and Hobbes in the woods (remember their final strip showed them going off exploring on their sled).

I am so sad that I missed the entire game. I was at dinner with my best friend, since it was her birthday. I was nice and sloshed, and I looked up at one of the TV’s at the restaurant (which was on mute) and saw the lizards, and said “why are those lizards doing the thriller dance?” its pretty sad that the thriller dance is so engrained in my soul that I recognize it in any form. I’m glad that the giants won…woot woot.

Jenda: According to wiki, it was a novelty song from the ’40s. It’s been recorded by lots of people, including Monty Python, but I remember it from The Jungle Book.

Vanilla Fire: Hellz yeah! Any Manning is worth watching. Eli is the next best thing to Peyton and the Colts.

Nigel Chaos: Are you kiddin’ me? Peyton has been a hero in this city since his days at UT. Any brother of Peyton kicks ass by default (although Eli is awesome in his own right). You’re forgiven for not knowing since you’re a transplant. Welcome to K-ville!

I spent all of yesterday sick due to food poisoning. No work, no parties, no internet.

I did manage to watch the game though, and was reallly happy during that 4th Q with the Giants. My mom also won some kind of spread with a 7-4 Giants/Pats box.

It seems I managed to see all the aformentioned ads except for the Lifewater one. The one where all the animals were screaming was awesome, as was the Coke Balloon one. And it seems that the Clydesdale ad won “Best Ad” according to CNN just now.

This was sort of post-game, but there was also this 4th-Wall breaking Geico Cavemen ad having the Cavemen comment on their own show.

The strip MikeyD was talking about was Lio, about a odd Addams-esque little boy. That strip was about the anniversary of the end of C&H. It was better than the one passed around the ‘net where Calvin is taking Ritalin.

Not too many ads impressed me. The SoBe Lifewater Lizards were cool. Stewie vs Underdog was neat. But tonight on Firebrand (that again?) There’s supposed to be a wrap-up about the best ads. Last week, all week, they had “Road to Firebrand Monday,” with highlights each night covering certain aspects of SB ads. Hot Babes, High Cost, Groundbreaking Effects, stuff like that. Give ION a bit of a chance, it’s a bit edgier than PAX was.

Advent-urers, anyone getting emails from Hssxxllo should go here to discuss.

I am so not cool with coconut crabs. That one crawling on the trashcan will be in my dreams tonight.

I was kinda surprised there were no fast food ads last night. It seemed like the theme of the Superbowl was “health” and “Internet.” We got plenty of “healthy” drink ads (Gatorade, Lifewater, Amp) and websites(E:Trade, GoDaddy, Salegenie).

Okay folks, I need help.
This is way off topic from anything else everyone’s been talking about here, but now I’m convinced only X-E’rs can possibly help me.

Now this either happened and such a product existed at one time, or I completely dreamed it.

Some time in the early 90’s (most likely before ‘93) I bought two canisters of a purple slime toy (at World of Values, if anyone is from western PA. Christ that place was brutal for a young boy to be dragged around in).
The size/shape of the can and consistency of the goop were pretty much exactly like Ecto-Plazm, but I recall this being made by Tonka and marketed as some kid of “mud” or “dirt”. Did this exist?
I’m not hopeful that anyone will remember this product, because I doubt anyone here is as dorky about slimes/oozes as I am, but I still gotta ask.
Anyone? Anyone at all have the slightest idea of what I’m talking about?

Was anyone following the T-800 versus Fox Football Robot fight? The T-800 was kicking the crap out of the poor Fox Football Robot. The last one I saw had two more robots showing up that looked like the might also be Fox Football Robots, then I didn’t see any more of those. Did I miss a couple? I felt bad for the Fox Football Robot. He was all deckd out in his Lombardi-Trophy finish, and T-800 had to go and be a dick.

Am I crazy, or was there one year, where Ditka was coaching one of the teams, but the other Bud team brought in some huge unstoppable bottle, and Ditka was all, “You can’t use him!”

I only saw one of the Terminator vs Football Mascot segments but I thought it was a good fight.

I also found out there’s apparently a alternate version of that Perfectville commercial for if the Patriots had won but I can’t imagine it would have been nearly as good.

I cant believe no one has mentioned the Amp commercial where Donkey Lips stuck jumper cable clamps to his nipples…what the hell????

I didn’t even see the ‘72 DOLPHINS love when I posted yesterday (I guess I should have read :( ).
Anyways, great commerical, Doho!

Also, I am still surprised a CGI Bud Bowl has yet to make an appearance. I mean, if they are going to bring back KNIGHT RIDER (WHy? Dear God make is stop) and AMERICAN GLADIATORS, then surely there is room for Bud Bowl.

I thought that was Donkey Lips! It’s good to see he’s got work, but it’s bad to see that it’s this…

godjilla - Ah. I didn’t know he used to play for UT. I was without cable or any real TV for about 2 or 3 years and I’m trying to catch up on everything now.

And Re: Eli deserving a medal.. DOH. I should’ve known that. See what beer does to you?

Ah yes…
rudy and I were going… “uhm… eew…” And I said… “hey. Isn’t that… DONKEYLIPS?” and Rudy stared a sec and said… “Yeah. It is.”
And then we “eew”ed in unison.

Ok I’m confused, I saw the commercial and know what your talking about but who is Donkeylps?

Been a longtime since I commented here (been busy with school), but the FedEx commerical this year was funny but not as funny the previous year with the caveman.

I’m guessing you weren’t an early 90’s Nickelodeon kid? Donkey Lips was a character on a show called Salute Your Shorts, it was about a bunch of kids at summer camp. Donkey Lips was the token fat kid.

Thanks Heza, I’ve heard of the show but can’t say that I’ve ever watched it.

Who would upload that? Is there anybody that missed the Superbowl that REALLY wanted to see it and is really upset right now because of it? There is one every year I am pretty sure of it.

The tornado sirens are going off…and no one is reacting. Our school is weird…

I actually have a few episodes of Salute Your Shorts that I got off bittorrent a while back… the quality of the rip is crap (due to it being off an old vhs), but it was fun to see what the shows were like back then…

Seriously the only thing I care about in football. Every year I feel so relieved when the last team bites it. Even if it was COMPLETELY NERVEWRACKING, this year was so special, BECAUSE we had to wait til the bitter end

Also, I read a review of the diet Dr pepper cherry chocolate soda and they described the flavor tastes exactly like cherry flavored Tootsie roll pops. And that is EXACTLY what it tastes like! So if you haven’t tried it and have always dreamed of a soda that tastes exactly like cherry tootsie roll pops then definitely pick up a case.

There is one every year I am pretty sure of it.
But they are rarely good enough to talk about beyond Monday. This one will be talked about for our entire life times.

So I tried to vote for Waiterbot, but the damned ballot didn’t have a place for write ins! So instead, I voted for who I deemed as the more worthy opponent for Waiterbot.

That Diet Chocolate Cherry Dr. Pepper is the worst flavor of soda I have ever tasted. You would think chocolate in a soda would be good, after all, we have various vanilla/cream sodas and even that caramel Pepsi Jazz one and they’re all pretty good. But I couldn’t even choke down one can of this stuff, it was so nasty.

Its probably the ‘diet’ sweetener that makes it taste nasty. Is there any chocolate in the ingredients?

Happy Birthday, Matt! Thanks for X-E and all you do! Hope this year is the best one yet.

That’s it. Everyone needs to stop being born between the last 2 weeks of Jan and the first two weeks of Feb. I only have so much space on my calendar squares.

So, given the day, is anyone going to have a showing of the EVIL DEAD trilogy to celebrate Ash Wednesday?

I read that it is Matt’s birthday? Well, in that case, happy birthday Matt! You deserve thanks everyday for keeping this site in order, and for all the work you do, but today is a good day to say it again.

Oh, Goob: I think the reason people would upload a video file of the Super Bo… err, I mean, the “Big Game” (don’t want to get sued for trademark infringement) is because many of the people who watched it would like a copy for themselves to keep. Sure, burning a DVD from a divx file is not nearly as cool as having an old-school VHS copy (

), but I can still understand the motivation. It was quite a game after all.

Also there were quite a few people nationwide, in different locations, that lost their cable signal for significant portions of the game. I saw more than one news story on this on various news sites. So if I were a big football fan in one of those places I would be thrilled that someone uploaded the game so I could check out the parts I missed.

I get it Magic Toy it’s just if I were into sports I think I would only want to watch the game once. I used to watch a lot of basketball growing up, my Grandparents have to watch every portland trailblazers game on tv, but it’s like certain movies once you know the ending what’s the point of watching everything else.

dohopoki I have heard dvd flick is a good piece of software to burn a dvd in order for it to play in a regular dvd player. It’s open source software. I haven’t tried it yet. I just burn my dvds as data form, I can get an average 6 movies on a disc. We are actually wanting (my best friend and I) to buy one of those phillips dvd players that plays divx formatted movies w/ dvr included and a dvd burner. That would be ideal for us.

And a topic of conversation. A few hours ago, I watched the movie pirates of silicon valley. Man Bill gates is a weasly little prick. It was like he took the rug right out from under Steve’s feet without him noticing and then sold it for billions. Richest man in the world and Steve is practically begging for pennies on the sidewalk. Ipods are what are keeping the doors open over there, and Bill Gates is getting a slice of that pie too (he owns a part of apple, they begged for his money to stay afloat in ‘97) well according to the movie that is what happened (it might be just a wee bit slanted)

And paint shop pro is on my last nerve for some reason it keeps on getting stuck in pan mode (the cursor that is a hand, like in adobe reader) and it won’t get unstuck. This has only happened off and on for a few months. I know how to use paint shop pro, adobe photoshop I do not and I like it that way. Any help on if I am doing something wrong please tell me. I reset the comp, it works for 20 mins then nothin’. If I do things by right clicking on them it works but that is very limited. I googled for an answer nothing about this bug.

I also made a piece of art to list that is in an 80’s style. When I take pictures to list I’ll show you guys. You’ll like it I know you will.

I’m a huge fan of Pirates of Silicon valley, it’s one of my favorite made for TV movies of all time. You really have nothing bad to say about Steve Jobs after watching it? You went for Bill?

Goob
“Pirates” is a great movie, but not necessarily the whole story. I have sort of an infatuation with early computer history…You might read “Fire in the Valley,” which is what the movie got it’s story from. Most of the little things that happen in the movie are true, but certain details were changed.

Also, I believe MS has since sold most (if not all) of its Apple stock. MS didn’t save Apple in 97–Steve did that. And though the iPod has helped, the Mac is really starting to fly, and I wouldn’t say that iPod is the only thing “keeping the doors open” at Apple…

They really should make a sequel to that movie, because so much has changed in the last 11 years…

Moony: It’s not the diet sweetener that makes it nasty. I drink diet pop on a regular basis, even the other diet dr. peppers. They’re pretty good. It’s the actual chocolate flavoring that’s horrible. I think we found the one thing that chocolate can’t make better.

Happy Birthday, Matt! And, in your honor:
Giant Ape Juice!
Giant Ape Juice!
Giant Ape Juice!

Happy Birthday to Emperor Matt, Demigod of the Web, Master of the Stuffed Mushroom, Home of the Whopper, King of the Seven Seas, The Ape in Giant Ape Juice, the inspiration for “Love In An Elevator”, Pedicurist of the Magic Toe, both a Heffalump and a Woozle, and an all-around Good Egg.

Matty-Matty-Boomba-laddie!
Happy Birthday to the most creative man on the internet!
Giant Ape Juice!

Hey, I’ll hop on the bandwagon, and wish you, Matt a very happy birthday. I hope it is full pf merriment and wonder!

I’ve been sick on and off the past few days. The worst was sunday, and recovered on monday. I felt a bit better yesterday, but I pretty much realized that I have some sort of stomach virus. Note: Never eat a Big Mac when you think you have a stomach virus and/or food poisoning. Basically, I spent most of last night & this morning on the toilet. Not fun, when stomach pains made me want to wish death at one point.

But earler today, just as I was starting to feel better…my girlfriend calls me up to break up with me. It seems that it wasn’t sudden, but mostly she said that she loved me, but not “in love” with me, and and that she basically broke up on good terms.

I don’t what to say or feel right now, but I feel as though my heart had been ripped from my chest. Seriously, this girl made me look forward to Valentines Day next week…and I had never felt that way before!

Invader Norbert: Damn, I’m really sorry. I’ve spent a lot of Valentine’s Days lonely, myself, and I know how hard that can be. But just think about this: eventually you’ll find somebody who’ll make you forget all about days like this.

And to the TN people who were talking earlier - I lived in Knoxville for the last 10 years and never really knew that many people who had a particular affinity for Eli. Peyton’s a god there, for sure, and I’m sure some people like Eli by association, but I honestly can’t say I know any Vol fans who are that crazy about the guy.

I wish Bud would do cool stuff like this ad now, but the ads have gotten worse over the years. All they did this year was a dumb ad that talked about Bud letting you breath fire.
I’m not screwing with you.

Norbert, that totally sucks, I feel for you buddy. Right before Valentine’s, and over the phone, no less. I’m sure she’s a lovely girl, or you wouldn’t have been with her, but that’s pretty harsh. Keep your head up, we’re here for you

Happy Birthday, Matt. Hope that you remember most of it through the haze (and if there is no haze, then there’s not that much to remember)!

Thanks for the support, and the reason why she did it over the phone was that I wasn’t able to be with her in person because I was home sick today.

And I just a good pick-me-up: I just saw Eli Manning say “I’m Going To Disneyworld!” Ahh, I haven’t seen that in years.

Happy Birthday, Matt! Hopefully I’m not too late. But it’s Carnaval, so I’ve been away for about a month.

dohopoki Yes the whole saying your gf’s baby isn’t yours was pretty bad, but Bill Gates in that movie silver tongued Steve Jobs pretty good.

Steve Jobs was all like, what is this thing windows you are working on?!? And Bill was like oh it’s just a hobby nothing more then that. And then BOOM Windows makes a ton of money and Steve suffers. That is kind of what happened with the Sega Master System and the NES. Nintendo monopolized the industry. And I heard the Sega games were better, the ones that were made and released anyway. I want to get a Sega Master someday.

Invader Norbert Tough break dude :( I think it sucks more when you totally don’t know that the relationship is failing you think it’s thriving. I know I was getting to know a girl online, she had a 3 year old kid and was living with a married couple while she was looking for work which she did. The wife and her were best friends and talked on the phone daily for years before she moved in with them. Well over the weekend the wife and husband fought a lot and the guy moved out. This girl I was talking to and the wife decided that weekend to start dating after hours of talking (they had sex too, I asked) and I was crushed. We talked on the phone two times for about 5 hours per time. I know that is quick to jump but we were already finishing each other’s sentences already and totally got along. That hasn’t been the first time with me. I am learning to tread more carefully.

I have been getting girls that “wink” at me on a certain dating site lately, about once a week so we’ll see. I think if I had a gf I would be more motivated to work and stuff because it wouldn’t just be for myself it would be for her as well. Most of the girls around here are ugly looking (missing teeth, ew) or they are married and just want a threesome.

I didn’t try to twist it around to get sympathy I just wanted to tell you that story Norb to tell you that it happens to all of us. In order to feel good you have to feel the bad too, if you don’t feel the bad then your numb and that is no way to be. Hugs.

Happy birthday, Matt.
We share a birthday month.
Along with greats such as Brandon Lee, Lisa Marie Presley and Home Improvement’s Richard Karn.

Quickly adding in my birthday wishes to Matt as well; give ‘em hell, boss!

Invader Norbert
How long were you together? It’s never fun to be broken up with, especially right around Valentines day. My HUSBAND, back when we first started dating, gave me my Valentines day gift the day before V-day, then did a complete 180, by the time I left that night he said he wanted to break up. He said he was just completely stressed out over life, and it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t feel awful, I knew him well enough to know he would be back. The day after V-day he decided how stupid he had been and wanted me back. He’s been a good boy ever since, and learned to control his stress. Every valentines day we joke about it, since we’re odd like that…

Hi all, thanks for the well wishes! Had like the worst work day ever…you’ve made me feel better!

How did everyone get to know that it was matt’s birthday? i have been busy lurking around in the archives for the past few days. if i knew it was matts birthday, i would have made a cake….but i didnt, so all i have is beefaroni. other than that, Matt Happy birfday, and also, thanks for the wonder known as the review of The Breakfast Club….seriously, I reread it probably 6 or 7 times…it is my favorite movie, and now it is even more so my favorite movie (that probably made no sense)…. I’ll quit rambling now

Heza That was so nice of him to give you a present before he broke up with you. That came out weird but you know what I mean. He didn’t have to give you a present so that was really nice of him. And most of the time when people break up and they both realize they can’t live with each other they get back together.

That really sucks, man….I’m having a heck of a time with the girl I’m trying to develop a relationship with….I have to go out of town on Valentine’s day (the whole week, actually) for business and I’m pissed that I can’t do anything with her for it…it would have been my first Valentine’s day where I wasn’t alone…But hang in there, man, things will change for the better…

Goob
Yeah he didn’t have to, but it was more that he had no intention on breaking up until about 30 minutes before it happened. At the time I was used to him being just that crazy. When he came back a whole 1 and a half days later, he said it gave him all the confirmation he needed. He’d never had a relationship that actually worked, so it kind of freaked him out, I guess leaving me for a day was his way of pinching himself in a dream. We’ve had no real problems ever since, even after moving 1200 miles away from home and getting married all within the last 6 months.

Leigha You want to make him a cake? Who would eat the cake? I’m sorry that sounds like a funny thing to say about someone on the internet. Oh it’s your birthday? And you go to the cupboard and try to choose between the spice cake mix and the yellow cake mix, frost the cake, take a picture, upload it, send them a picture of the cake, and then unbuckle your belt and binge on cake in front of the tv. I’m not trying to insult you Leigha I like you but that is the picture I came up with in my head. Also you reminded me of the episode of Seinfeld when Elaine had a fight at work about them having a storebought cake at work everyday for birthdays and various holidays and they insisted she ate a piece everyday. Get well get well soon I want you to get well.

Heza I get it. I have lived with my best friend for 7 years and our relationship is stronger then ever. We miss each other when we aren’t around each other. I can’t STAND it when I hear wives (mostly wives, but I don’t talk to the husbands that much though so that’s why) say seeing their husband is fine sometimes but they can’t stand it when it’s vacation time and they see them all day everyday for a about a week.

At the end of the week they are pulling their hair out they want their space. I understand that, but also it bothers me they can’t stand their husband that much. They got married for the wrong reasons IMO. They love being able to not work and have kids while their husband does them an unbelievably huge favor by working fulltime and paying 100 percent of the bills.

I heard the Sega games were better, the ones that were made and released anyway. I want to get a Sega Master someday.

Not really, the Master System had one of the worst controllers of all time and a sound chip that would make you wish you were deaf. There was a few games worth mentioning but nothing compared to what NES had going for it. The system did fine in Europe anyhow.

Back to Steve VS Bill. Steve was living a financially sweet and yet wouldn’t give any money to his Ex, despite the relatively small amount they were asking for. He names a freaking computer Lisa on top of all that. He gets careless with his company and lets Bill take the rug from under his feet, not fully defending Bill but not putting the full blame on him either.

Jobs loses his position at Apple for a time and eventually does the right thing with his daughter. Now, had he continued his success and had Mac been the computer everyone has today, would he have changed? Maybe, maybe not. There’s a failed copyright suit against Microsoft and they go on to be the dominating computer software company of the world.

Bill Gates becomes a multi-multi-billionaire. Bill also would end up donating billions and billions of dollars of his fortunes to various charity and be Times Man of the Year 2005 as “The Good Samaritans.”

Steve Jobs is still living a financial sweet life and always has been. He came back to Apple and kept them alive to this day. Macs are still sold and don’t forget he once owned Pixar as well. Steve probably doesn’t remember what a penny even looks like.

I’m not sure if I conveyed it, but I love my hubby, I love living with him and I love seeing him every day. I don’t really understand the people who hate seeing their significant other, but I guess that’s why the divorce rate is so high. For the longest time I was the one working while he stayed home, now we’re both working and I’m in college, and don’t see each other as much as I would like. We’re both quite content with one another. The biggest fight we’ve had this entire time was “Get a dog, don’t get a dog”. He was hesitant, but now he loves his little buddy ^_^

I’m not late; it’s actually February 5 and the rest of you were early. BECAUSE I SAID SO, that’s why it’s true!

Right, so I’m kind of late to the party I guess. I’ve been super, duper busy the past couple of days. Can I get a day off from work? Anybody? Anybody got a day off laying around they can give me? Cause if I don’t get a day off from one of my 2 jobs (3 if you count the DJ’ing thing) I’m going to climb a tower with an assault rifle and start thinning the herd. I’m just sayin’.

Anyway, I know it’s been said already, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MATT! You seriously make my days easier by everything you do. May you have all the Ninja Turtle Pies your heart can desire. Giant Freakin’ Ape Juice to you.

As far as the Super Bowl went, I was at work that night till about 3:00am, so I missed the whole thing. Funnily enough, I was on the computer the whole time and could have just popped on over to one of the zillion sites that was following the whole thing, but just completely forgot about it. I’m really not a football guy at all, but from what I heard this sounds like it was a kickass game.

dohopoki, I agree. Despite whatever trouble Steve Jobs might have had in the past, I think he’s doing just fine now. I doubt he’s got much to worry about.

Invader Norbert, Man, I’m so sorry to hear about that. I had something like that happen to me once. One day everything was great and the next she was done. Didn’t see it coming. Turns out it wasn’t much of a loss in the long run though. She’s got a bit of “reputation” these days. Probably best I got out when I did. No telling what kind of cooties I could have ended up with.

Leigha, Matt reviewed The Breakfast Club??? Holy crap! I gotta go find that right now. How come nobody told me about this sooner. You people are supposed to keep me updated on this stuff. Wasn’t that the agreement? Well, that’s how I remember it.

Oh, so one of the reasons I’ve been so busy is cause I’m getting stuff ready for my radio show to return to the airwaves tomorrow night. That’s right kids, you too can tune in to hear DJ D make his triumphant return to the radio. Click my name to find out all you need to know (it’ll be streaming over the interweb btw) and to check out my newly overhauled swanky MySpace page. I’ll buy that for a dollar!

Oh, and just to blantantly brag, I drew the flyer that’s my default picture on my MySpace. Yeah, that’s right.

dohopoki
The reason why they didn’t have many games to their system is because Nintendo made the companies they were doing business with sign a contact stating if they did business with them they couldn’t do games for other companies. They monopolized the industry. That is why you only heard of the system in Europe and I heard Mexico and perhaps Canada but definitely not the US and there was a law put in place that you can’t do that, but by the time the law was put in place it was too late, everyone in the US had an NES and no one had a Sega Master System. I only heard of the console about 4 years ago.

I have an HP laptop I hate Mac’s with a passion. Growing up we had an Apple II that my Grandma got at a yard sale. That was the first experience I had with a computer then in middle school they had these brand spanking new toaster macs. That movie just told me more about the beginning of household computers.

It’s funny I was just catching up on Tom Green and Kathy Griffin was on. She said that her and Steve talks and they went out a couple of times to eat. He saw her live stand up and tried to get in contact with her because he thought she was funny. Well she said she couldn’t figure out what he was talking about the entire time she talked to him but he’s very smart. Also he has no perception of money. No idea what the value of the dollar is nowadays.

And you talked about charity the celebrities I admire that give to charities are the ones that don’t do it for the publicity they do it to feel good about themselves. They are out there. Bill Gates makes so much money it’s not even funny. Rosie O’ Donnell has a Charity that you rarely hear about. All the profit from her site goes to her charity and the profit from her book. It’s called Rosie’s Broadway kids they put poor kids (cliche I know) through school that are talented. Like singing, dancing, all that stuff. Several of them have gone to college and it’s all thanks to the program. They developed the experience and were good enough to get scholarships. I know that’s not as bad as hurricane Katrina and other things that are worse (she has built a daycare in new Orleans) but dancing and acting is better then drug dealing! IMO at least.

I don’t think Bill does it for the publicity. You don’t have to donate more than anyone else in the world for publicity and you don’t need publicity when you’re neither a politican nor a celebrity.

Back to Steve, Steve’s rich. The difference between being Steve Jobs rich and Bill Gates rich or any other kind of rich, isn’t much to fuss about. When focusing soley on the spans of their life that was covered within the movie, Bill was an unethical business man and Steve was an asshole of a person. You can get sued for unethical business practices but you can’t purchase away being an asshole. Steve’s worked away those demons to my understanding and good for him. Bill’s been sued and I can barely care. It’s just money and at least a lot of his (multi-billions of it) goes to various charities.

I’ve never met anyone who has seen the movie and felt Steve was a victim of anything he didn’t bring on to himself and felt that Bill was the lead bad guy.

Goob I totally meant the cake thing as a joke, and I like that you got a funny mental image from it. I thought it would be an absurd statement that might be looked at with a quizzical stare by someone, so I said it anyways. Besides, Beefaroni owns the cake anyday of the week. Also, congrats on the Seinfeld reference….still one of my favorite shows….oh well….My pure sarcam doesnt always come through well in text form.

G4’s Attach of the Show used your Crossfire commerical (by way of Retro Junk) yesterday for their segment about stuff from childhood now sucking.

Leigha
I know too well what you mean about sarcasm not translating well in text form - I have always thought that there should be an emoticon (smiley) just for sarcasm, in the same way

means “just kidding”.

Old Jim: I’ve been on a couple of forums that have an emoticon smiling while looking shiftily to one side. I think it conveys the spirit of most sarcastic remarks.

The space shuttle should be going up in about an hour. If you’ve got a secondary monitor or just want to run a video in the background, you can catch a live feed here. It’s a bit cloudy, but the announcer seems cautiously optimistic that it’ll go off on time.

well, couldn’t you just use a dead pan blank face?
as in:
Oh man, that was just the BEST BURRITO EVER.

How do you do the straight line smiley? I tried colon, dash, pipe; colon, dash, forward slash; and colon, dash, backslash - but none of these worked.

I liked POSV, and I think both Jobs and Gates are typical genius-types. Believe you me, as somebody who is a Gifted Class Drop-out, I can tell you that sometimes, even two whiz kids in a room can be too many.

The one person who I thought was really portrayed as a major sleazebag in POSV was Steve Ballmer.

You know XE’ers are bored when Steve Jobs/Bill Gates become a topic in the blog.

I just watched the women’s wrestling documentary “Lipstick and Dynamite” on DVD. Very good doc with some great stories.

I’ve been screwing around today at the Discovery and IMDB boards and for some reason there’s this weird hatred for the new “Smash Lab” show. Yea, it is basically “Mythbusters” lite. But I find it an entertaining way to waste an hour. Plus, it’s actually coming up with solutions to problems (although probably none of them will be implemented).

Hey, who else around these parts has a February birthday? Mine’s on Saturday. I’m not really looking forward to it all that much since it means I’ve been on this planet 25 years and haven’t done a fucking thing. But…at least I’ll get one present and a good meal out of it. XD

Mine’s on February 25th. (And I’ll be 25, also). Steve Jobs is Feb. 24th (just because we’ve been talking about him..) I’ve got several fraternity brothers with Feb. Birthdays, too. I guess the lusty month of May is a good month to get it on…

Leigha I kinda figured you weren’t going to actually literally make a cake for him. And I am glad you enjoyed the Seinfeld reference not 100 percent of the population are fans of the show.

I just mentioned that I saw that movie and I know a bit more about what happened. My birthday is March 7th.

Fuck’n eh, I am 30. (sigh) Oh well…Shit happens.
I am going to Will. I think I may change my X-E name too. I am thinking “Big Splasher”.

So, I’m headed up to the station as soon as I’m done typing this to do my show. It’ll start in an hour. (Midnight here on Eastern time). You guys should tune in. You can listen streaming live at:

You can IM me while I’m on the air at: wusconair
Click on my name and check out my blog to find out all you need to know.

Thanks Shuanfu! Yeah, it’s a little early for a mid life crisis but then again, if I kick the bucket at 60 I am right on time.

Sorry I haven’t been on in a while! Happy Birthday, Big Splasher! It’s good to hear from Matt again. His last couple of posts were great, especially the pick-your-own-adventure book one. I got one called “Murph the Monster” at a book fair around fourth grade or so. (I apologize if this is a bit late.)

So, the DJ’s who were on before me didn’t show up and didn’t bother to call me so I can’t get into the station. Since I’m new, I’m not registered with campus police so they won’t let me in, so I can’t do the damn show tonight!!

So sorry for talking up the show and telling everyone to listen. I feel like a total idiot right now. My apologies to anyone trying to tune in right now. I promise I’ll be on next week. The thing that sucks the most is if someone had just called me before they left and locked up the place, I could have been on 2 hours earlier. I could have done a show for 4 hours or more if I could have just gotten in. Now there’s no DJ’s at all up there and the computer’s running thing. Meanwhile I spent the last couple of days telling everybody about it an announcing it all over MySpace. Now I look like a jackass because I can’t get into the goddamn station.

If there was an emoticon for rage that I knew of, you would be seeing it right now.

What is up with you Will everytime I don’t support a change with you it motivates you more? Eh I’m not your mudda.

I am waiting for my show to come on, after 11 hopefully you guys won’t see me the rest of the night (I’m going to try to get some artwork done) so yay because I know you guys aren’t enjoying my messages one an hour on the hour.

I’m sticking with Bill for X-E. Too much history. Still like Big Slpasher though.

Here you go, DJ:

Though to truly convey rage I think

might actually be more appropriate. Better luck next time!

I was just reading a SNT blog from 2005. It almost made me misty eyed….ahhh the memories!

Bill, you’re such a hot fucker, even if you are 30. Seriously, if I’m single next time you come to Philly, I am so hunting you down and making out with you. And no, you don’t get a say in the matter.

Old Jim I’m thinking of getting a slutty low-cut black wrap top, cutting the sleeves off and replacing them with striped sleeves. Kinda wanna make a skirt… like get a knee-length black skirt, make a slash across the front and put grommets across it and hook it together with some kind of metal hardware. But that’s mainly cuz I wanna wear fishnets. If I can’t finagle it, I’ll just put on bondage pants. Then, of course, my ass-kicking boots, fangs, and goggles.

Thanks, squee. I have no idea how to do emoticons, but I think the one with the devil horns pretty much summed it up.

Someone earlier mentioned Matt’s review of The Breakfast Club, and since I’m on my lunch break at work, I figured I would head over there and check it out. Brilliant! I think he summed it up perfectly. Alison was always my favorite, and I’ve always thought I was unique in that respect, but as Matt wisely points out, she’s everyone’s favorite and everyone thinks they’re unique in that respect. Anyways, my personal favorite scene in the movie, and one that’s not brought up in the review is when Brian, Anthony Michael Hall’s character, explains how there are emergency exits, “at either end of the library.” All while doing the whole Boy Scouts Honor/Stwardess 2 finger point thing. For some reason I always thought that was hilarious.

Alright, back to work. Sorry about my rant from above. I was pretty pissed off about not getting into the studio last night. I don’t think I’ve been that angry since I couldn’t get my hand crafted lamp to work in class. If I can’t get in next week to do my show, I’m bringing a flare gun and putting it in my locker. I swear I’ll do it.

Mystie I think Bill looks like Peyton Fanning but less tall and less buff. Everytime I see that commercial he’s on I think he so looks like Bill.

Heza Splendid! My Granddad’s birthday is actually on September 7th so growing up so I would say that was my half birthday and he would say my birthday was his half birthday.

Matt Yep, Bill is a great dude :) He has said some things about me that are some of the nicest things anyone has ever said about me. One of them was he said once that he thinks my writing is just as good as your writing and he really enjoys it! I was floored when he said that. Really I was.

At 8pm I decided to take a nap, I just got up a bi ago (I slept for about an hour) and I feel funky and my head hurts. I think unfortunately I am going to feel off all night now. And I really wanted to get some work done

Hey, I just noticed this is Saturday, and I’ll actually be home tonight for some SNT. I was out of town last weekend.

If you are my Little Brother, then every day is Billday. He has happened upon his dream job, working on a goat farm in Kansas. Dairy goats, and a llama. He couldn’t be happier, may we all have such luck.

By the by, I have been told I resemble King Kai from Dragonball Z. I don’t know how to take that.

Happy SNT!!!!! I’m so gonna have to get to Mickey D’s to see if they got the shamrock shakes yet…I am trying to talk my husband into throwing me a big party for my 30th in APril…I want an 80’s theme…like with neon decorations, rubber bracelets, madonna videos on the tv, guys all have to wear those Vans checkered shoes.

Hell, I never had an actual Shamrock Shake, I only had its chocolate clone The Minty Mudbath Shake last year. I don’t like Chocolate Shakes, or Chocolate and Mint as it turns out.

So, I’m at work right now and we’ve spent the last hour posing loads of hypothetical geeky questions. It’s really slow right now, so they all spurned some pretty interesting debates. Here are a few:

-Who could win in a fight:
-Rainbow Bright or Strawberry Shortcake
-Rambo or Arnold in Predator

-What is the worst sitcom ever?
-What’s a better movie–Monster Squad or Goonies? (for my money it’s Monster Squad every time)
-What’s a better movie–Jaws or ET?
-What’s worse?–Jaws 4 or any of the Lephrechan sequels?
-What’s the best actor/director combo?

Rainbow Brite
Rambo
Anything post-SEINFELD
Never seen MONSTER SQUAD but GOONIES is overrated.
JAWS
LEPRECHAUN sequels (I guess)
Coen Brothers and John Turturro

Ok, DJD, I’ll bite.
Rainbow Brite, of course
I have no idea
George Lopez hands down

And that’s all. I haven’t seen Monstor Squad, though being on this site makes me have a desire to do so.
happy SNT. I am looking for mindless entertainment tonight at home as my son is ill.

I watched a Charlie Brown Valentine special on ABC tonite, along with Air Guitar Nation on VH1.

Straight up or crinkle cut french fries
Tator Tots
Steak Fries
Curly fries
Other

I gotta go with Curly fries. They just taste awesome hot and greasy. Although Tator tots are a very close second.

Rainbow Bright
Rambo
Family Matters
Monster Squad–kb, you gotta get on this. If you lived anywhere near me I would personally let you borrow my copy, just to share the word.
Jaws–that was pretty unanimous here at the office.
The Leprechan movies
My personal favorite is Tim Burton/Johnny Depp, but there’s definitely something to be said for Scorsese/DeNiro.

JLAJRC, Ooooh, that’s a tough one. As great as Tater Tots are, I’ve always head a special place in my heart for crinkle cut fries. I gotta go with the crinkle cut.

Ok here goes:
Rainbow Brite (hands down)
Schwarzenegger (Rambo’s good but he couldn’t take down a Predator)
Cavemen
Goonies
Jaws
Jaws 4 (at least Leprechaun was intentionally bad)
and as cliche as it sounds Burton/Depp (if it weren’t for Depp, Burton would be done)

And as for the potatoe survey I gotta go with the Tot, it is the Year of the Potatoe as Guise so sagely pointed out at one time.

JLARC- Tator tots. Every time. Especially the ones from Taco Johns that they call mexi-fries. I want some now.

I couldn’t find anything good on TV so I’m watching The Burbs. So many good quotes.

*ahem* Rainbow Brite, Arnold, Friends, Goonies (because it has Feldman in it, the superior Corey), I’ve never seen any of the Jaws movies, Leprechaun based soley on the lawnmower scene, and I’m gonna steal from Dan and say Burton/Depp.

Hmm, tough one (for a guy). I’ll say that Rainbow Bright wins the battle and vanquishes Strawberry Shortcake to hell. However, Rainbow Bright’s decision to gloat about her epic victory by eating heaping helpings of strawberry shortcake at every available opportunity, to remind others of her win, comes back to bite her in the ass as she develops diabetes, and dies at the age of 42 from heart disease.

The senseless waste of pitting these two mighty forces of nature against each other, like matter vs. anti-matter, would be a tragedy, not only for the tough-guy fictional characters involved, but for our planet. All nations must band together, to ensure that such a conflagration never takes place.

Umm, I guess I will say Will & Grace. I just never found it to be all that witty and thought it really stereo-typed a lot of characters. Still, I can’t really say I have all that much venom directed towards it as I tended to ignore it. I’ll continue to think about this one. I may be missing something completely obvious.

Seriously? That is like asking a mother to pick between her favorite children. Ok, honestly I am not a mother, so it is probably nothing like that. If I absolutely had to choose what I view to be the better movie, I’d have to pick The Goonies. However, considering that I was (still am?) a horror-freak, I have always felt a love for The Monster Squad. I was that weird kid reading Fangoria on the bus on the way to school in 5th grade.

Jaws is the better overall movie. However, if you are under the age of, say… 9 or 10, ET has a magic that is just oozing from the film stock that you cannot ignore. I feel bad for people who didn’t get to watch that movie as a young child.

Honestly, they are pretty equal. I’d have to say that the worst Leprechaun sequel is probably worse than Jaws 4 though. Then again, if I’ve been knocking a few back, I’d probably prefer to watch a little Celtic bastard in space than a bad shark movie. (No offense to sharks intended)

I feel silly saying it, because it feels so obvious, but I’ll go with Scorsese/De Niro.

Another part of me wants to answer Raimi/Campbell. It is just now that everyone and their stepmother has heard of the ED Trilogy, I just can’t give that answer. If it were 1994 however…

I’m just glad I wasn’t the only kid on the bus reading Fango. Hey, Magic Toy, remember Gore Zone?

Here are a few other questions that came up and sparked debate:
–What could win in a fight–The Millennium Falcon or The Enterprise? (quite possibly the nerdiest question ever asked of anyone anywhere)
–Who’s the hottest female cartoon character?

Rainbow Bright no contest
Ah-nuld
Worst Sitcom?? Tough, I can’t pick
Goonies
ET
Jaws 4
And I third the Depp/Burton team

Oh, and to answer my own questions, I’m going with the Millennium Falcon. The Enterprise has better firepower, but can’t maneuver as well. I think the Falcon will fly circles around it.

As far as the cartoon character thing goes, that’s a hard one. I was just watching something about She-Ra the other day, and she was foxy. Then again, there is April O’Neil and Scarlett from G.I. Joe. I think I might have to go with April O’Neil. I might be convinced otherwise though.

Of course, if you want to get adventurous, there’s always Cheetara…..ah, Cheetara.

As much as I want to say Enterprise, I heart Trek and my dog is named Spock, I think The Millennium Falcon would win

Hottest female cartoon character, I can’t really say I have a favorite. Hottest guy however, It’s a tie between Dean Mccoppin and Jim Hawkins, unless I can think of something hotter.

I kind of think Lois Griffin’s a bit of a milf. I think if I lived in the Family Guy universe, I would have a thing for her.

I gotta go with the Falcon on this one, Han would fly circles around the Enterprise.

As for the hottest ‘toon….I’d have to agree with DJ D and say April. There’s just something about that yellow jumpsuit.

Dean Mccoppin was the beatnik from Iron Giant and Jim Hawkins was from Treasure Planet…both from children’s movies, which is sad on my part.

DJ D: GoreZone? Of course I remember. They were much harder to come by where I grew up (Decatur, IL), but I did manage to track down a few issues as a kid. I don’t have any “nostalgia” copies of it currently, and yes, that does bother me.

Alright, since the subject of Fango came up, I’ll tell a condensed version of my childhood horror mag story.

For a month or two, back in 1986 (or ‘87), my mother, and the mother of one of my best friends, got into the habit of heading to our local mall for a few hours on most Friday nights. This meant dinner in a pizza joint (Garcia’s Pizza FTW), and then an hour or so to run around the mall while our mothers spent the time relaxing and “gossiping” in the restaurant. As an adult, the idea of two ten-year-olds running rampant, unsupervised, in a mall, is maddening - but as one of those kids it was historically GREAT!

So long story short, I discovered an issue of Fangoria in the Waldenbooks that I just HAD TO HAVE. Of course the three or four dollars it would cost was far beyond my reach. Not proud of it, but I raided the mall’s pseudo-wishing wells and wrangled up enough change to buy the magazine. Hunting for silver change was the key. So, as a pain-in-the-ass kid with surely an annoying grin on my face, I walked into a Waldenbooks, wet change soaking the makeshift pouch I had formed using my t-shirt, and proceeded to by the magazine.

Looking back on it I must have had a very cool cashier who thought it was funny that some kid had raided the mall’s “wishing wells” to buy a gore mag. Otherwise they would have kicked me out for counting out $3.79 on the carpet of their store in damp change.

What can I say? That is one of my absolute favorite films of all-time and I am proud to say that I actually saw it in a theater. I can nearly quote the movie line-for-line. It is truly an under-appreciated gem of a film, and I sort of like it better that way.

Oh, and the Falcon wins over the Enterprise anyday….At least the original 1701 and the refit/A. Over D/E? Not sure….

Here’s a couple more. A co-worker brought up Evil Falcor vs. The Millennium Falcon. Of course, after everyone yelled at him, he insisted that Evil Falcore can shoot laser beams out of his eyes, has a black goatee, and an eyepatch (well, actually just the ONE laser beam eye on account of the eyepatch). He also has spikes on his tail, smokes a pipe, and a stable of ho’s. This was the only feasible way he could be a match for the Falcon. I mean, we gotta keep this reasonable. You could say he’s the Bad Luck Dragon. So, what say you, Falcore or Falcon?

The Best Die Hard movie was CLEARLY the first. I mean, it did blow me through the back wall of the theater!

With that said I always thought Die Hard 2 was pretty enjoyable as well. I think the Die Hard With a Vengeance is the best sequel, but that DH2 gets too much criticism. It was still fun.

Live Free or Die Hard was a good time, but I’d have to rank it as the 4th best in the series. I know most won’t agree with that though.

OK, since everyone is tossing out survey questions, I’ll add one into the mix.

What actor, who was at least somewhat popular at the time (1986), would have been a good addition to the cast of James Cameron’s ALIENS, playing a colonial Marine?

Who could win in a fight:
-Rainbow Bright or Strawberry Shortcake
Hmm. I’d have to say Rainbow Brite.

-What is the worst sitcom ever?
Hmm. Lots of choices. Lemme offer up one I liked that everyone hated: The Emril sitcom. Not his 30 cooking shows, the sitcom based on his 30 shows.

-What’s a better movieâ€“Jaws or ET?
ET was kiddy sci-fi fluff, while Jaws managed to get me to ensure that I hate the beach for the rest of my life.

-What’s the best actor/director combo?
Another good one. I’ll go with Christopher Guest with Micheal McKean, Harry Shearer and himself (Spinal Tap & The Folksmen) as well as fellow CG Movie regulars Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara and Fred Williard. His movies are some of my favorites. For those of you who haven’t seen “For Your Consideration” I suggest doing so. Not so much a mockumentary, it’s still a great movie.

French Fried Potatoes
I’m going with Steak Fries, followed by Crinkle-Cut.

It also depends on the various diners/restaurants/fast food places that make em. For fast food fries, I’m going with McDs, followed by Wendy’s and Checkers. Sadly, with all the praise for Chik-Fil-A, I live nowhere near one, with me being on LI after all.

Sexy Female Toons
The Sailor Scouts from Sailor Moon. Hell, all 5 Inner Senshi are hot. I’d do any of em.

Also on another subject, someone brought up the Six Flags Old Guy looking like Uncle Junior from the Sopranos. I never made that connection before, that guy’s gonna look even more hilarious now. More so with me considering that the closest Six Flags near me is Great Adventure in New Jersey.

Magic Toy
I honestly can’t answer that one, I was trying to remember who was a big name actor at that time but I’m drawing a blank. All the ones I could think of would be too big of a name to take a “supporting” role as a Marine.

evil falcor would totally kill the millenium falcon, hands down… i dont care what any of my coworkers say…

I totally forgot about waffle fries. Definately underrated. They’re also awesome for chili and cheese

Strawberry Shortcake- For the simple fact that I would get toArnold could kic eat after the battle.

I gotta pick Goonies for the simple fact that I saw it on HBO last year. I haven’t seen Monster Squad in years.

I haven’t seen either Jaws 4 or any of the Leprechaun movies. But the worst horror film I ever seen was something called “Three Extremes” It was so gory/disgusting that I had to turn it off after 30 minutes. I just couldn’t take it. The weird thing is that it’s highly praised and rated on IMDB.

I’ll pick Enterprise for the simple fact I’m more of a Trekkie/Trekker than a Star Wars guy.

The first Die Hard is still the best. But I think Die Hard with a Vengeance is VERY underrated.

-Rainbow Bright or Strawberry Shortcake–well
if strawberry made posion cupcakes Rainbow could die…but not if she blinded strawberry first with rainbow beams…its a draw

-What is the worst sitcom ever? Oops–its taht one with the nuclear blast..it was on Fox for like a month
-What’s a better movieâ€“Monster Squad or Goonies? –Goonies(
-What’s a better movieâ€“Jaws or ET? You cant compare the two..both are diffrent genres…now if you said Mac and Me vs ET thats diffrent
-What’s worse?â€“Jaws 4 or any of the Lephrechan sequels?–Jaws 4
-What’s the best actor/director combo? George Lucas and any actor/actress NOT in the semi recent star wars prequels.

It’s funny, I was checking out other people’s art pieces on Etsy to get inspired. And someone is selling a print of a photograph of a drawing of a choking victim. It’s quite interesting that we were talking about those posters.

Strawberry Shortcake, have you seen her head? It’s huge.
Rambo or Arnold from Twins.
Friends, Dharma and Greg, Seinfield 3 way tie.
No Thanks.
Jaws, I don’t really like ET.
the Lephrechan sequels and the first one too
I’m just going to throw Ron Howard/Clint Howard out there because no one else will.

Magic Toy, the first name to come to mind is Charlie Sheen. I could see that.

I still stand up for Monster Squad as beating Goonies every day of the week and twice on Sundays. Anyone who disagrees can step outside with me right now.

Anonymous, The Mac and Me/ET question was another that was brought up tonight! I’m so glad you mentioned that. I had forgot about that. I say ET, but apparently there were a lot of Mac and Me supporters around the office. I’m honestly just not familiar with it enough to remember. I seem to remember it just being an ET ripoff.

dohopoki, I think your Ron Howard/Clint Howard is probably the most inventive suggestion yet, and I give you big points for that, but I have to vehemently disagree with your stance on Seinfeld. In my opinion, Seinfeld could possibly be the BEST sitcom ever. And that’s that.

Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to TOmmy, the poster from above. He’s the co-worker who came up with the Evil Falcor argument. Not only that, but he’s officially my first official convert to this thing called X-E. I don’t know if he’ll ever post again, but welcome him to the fold. Btw, I don’t know if you remember or not, but a while back I revived the “chicken flavored Doritos” experiment and posted the results. He was the victim of that experiment at work. Before long we’ll have him debating whether or not you can trust a Mare, obsessing over Box 23, and dropping “giant ape juice” into conversation.

Well, maybe we should start off light. Maybe point him in the direction of Photog.

The funny is if he actually is reading this right now he has no idea what the hell I’m talking about.

One more thing. Invader Norbert, I second that. The Salior Moon chicks were pretty hot. I still stand by April O’Neil, but it’s pretty hard to deny the power of a school girl outfit. I mean, they had knee socks for god’s sake. Knee socks.

RE:Hottest female cartoon, without naming all the obvious ones, I would give honorable mention to Princess Toadstool from the Super Mario Super Show if for no other reason than to protest the dense, girly girl, blonde Princess Peach that plagues the actual games since they went 3D.

Bill & Ted vs. The Blues Brothers
Michael Myers vs. Leatherface
Chucky vs. Jigsaw
Gremlins vs. The Puppetmaster dolls
The GHostfaces from all the Scream films vs. The three goofballs from “House of 1,000 Corpses” and “Devils Rejects”
Pinhead vs. The Tall Man
Jaws vs. the Aligator from “Lake Placid”
DR. Giggles vs. The Dentist
Leprechaun vs. Troll
Candyman vs. Beetlejuice
Carrie vs. Firestarter girl
Terminator vs. Alien
Terminator vs. Predator

And uh, what’s your favorite cheese. I’m becoming a big Provolone fan, but my heart belongs to Pepperjack.

how about Geoffery (from Fresh Prince) vs. Mr. Belvedere? And I love provolone…it melts very nicely.

Rainbow Bright or Strawberry Shortcake
Hm, don’t know…but is there mud involved?

Rambo or Arnold in Predator
Arnold, though I’d like to see Rambo vs Predator.

What is the worst sitcom ever?
Does the US version of Red Dwarf count? ::shudders::

What’s a better movie: Monster Squad or The Goonies?
Monster Squad, because Scary German Guy is bitchin’.

What’s worse?â€“Jaws 4 or any of the Lephrechaun sequels?
I dunno, I still say “It’s not nice to make fun of the Lephrecaun” and do the “Dun dun, dun dun…”

What’s the best actor/director combo?
No idea, I just watch and pray it’s all good usually.

It’s more a question of Anime Girls vs. WB Girls vs Disney Girls (I guess throw in Fox and Cartoon Network too).

Bill & Ted vs. The Blues Brothers - Blues Brothers, a car chase would total the telephone box.
Michael Myers vs. Leatherface - Myers.
Chucky vs. Jigsaw - Chucky, he’d likely just crawl through the traps.
Gremlins vs. The Puppetmaster dolls - Gremlins, just because.
The GHostfaces from all the Scream films vs. The three goofballs from “House of 1,000 Corpses” and “Devils Rejects” - Haven’t seen Corpses or Rejects.
Pinhead vs. The Tall Man - Pinhead, he’d relish it too.
Jaws vs. the Aligator from “Lake Placid” - Jaws.
DR. Giggles vs. The Dentist - My money is more on Doctor Snuggles
Leprechaun vs. Troll - Leprechaun, most of us have seen Hornswaggle by now to know how it works.
Candyman vs. Beetlejuice - Candyman is much more the fighter
Carrie vs. Firestarter girl - I really want Charlie to win that, but Carrie is a lot more messed up and that’ll win you a fight.
Terminator vs. Alien / Terminator vs. Predator - I have the Alien vs Terminator vs Predator set, it’s not that good. Having said that, in my view Alien loses to Terminator, Predator beats Terminator or draws with/loses to a liquid metal Terminator.

Favourite Cheese
Cheddar Cheese (from Cheddar), Stilton, Cheddar/Apricot, Brie/Mango.

Geoffery (from Fresh Prince) vs. Mr. Belvedere? Never seen Mr Belvedere, but Geoffery kicks ass. I think that should be a three-way match with Benson though. Butler Brawl!

Alfred Pennyworth and Jarvis are the kings of butlery. They’d wipe the floor of Belvedere, Benson, Geoffrey, that guy from “The Nanny”,and every butler you can think of.

JLAJRC, I see your Pennyworth and Jarvis and raise you a Lurch, Blackadder and Riff-Raff.

Geoffrey would kick Mr. Belvedere into the next week, weight advantage notwithstanding. And Rainbow Brite would demolish Strawberry Shortcake. Did she even have any powers besides smelling good? Speaking of RB, if you guys have never seen The Soup’s take on Rainbow Brite: The Movie you should head to YouTube and check it out, it’s hilarious.

I have to defend Seinfeld too. It’s easy to see that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you look at it objectively I think you have to acknowledge it’s a good show. I don’t think you can really pick the worst sitcom in history, wouldn’t it be something that is rotting in obscurity because it’s so awful? Most overrated, now if that’s the question then we can start talking about Seinfeld and Friends and 2.5 Men.

Hottest female cartoon ever is Jessica Rabbit, no contest. There may be other foxy cartoon redheads but none of the rest have Kathleen Turner in sex kitten mode providing their voice. Faye Valentine from Cowboy Bebop gets first runner up.

Best actor/director combo is giving me a hard time. Burton/Depp seems like the obvious answer, but it doesn’t feel like the ultimate answer to me. Some others that I came up with, in no particular order: John Carpenter/Kurt Russell, Quentin Tarantino/Uma Thurman, Robert Rodriguez/Danny Trejo, Edgar Wright/Simon Pegg, Sofia Coppola/Kirsten Dunst, Francis Ford Coppola/Al Pacino, Peter Jackson/Andy Serkis. I think I might have to go with Rodriguez/Trejo as my personal fav.

So….to answer the poll Rainbow Brite would win because rainbows rule over pastries anyday. Rambo I would say would win, I’m not sure why….other than I like Stallone Better than AHRNOLD….Worst Sitcom is Tyler Perry’s House of Payne on TBS (or peachtree, if its still shown on there) I would have to say that the goonies is a better movie, just for the fact that I’ve never seen the Monster Squad….my fiancee gives it rave reviews though. I think ET is better than JAWS, simply because Jaws scares the shit out of me, and ET doesn’t. (sorry all of you shark-o-philes). Jaws 4 I would have to say is worse….just because I think that Leprechaun is hilarious and I love watching how ridiculous they are….c’mon…Leprechaun in the Hood? Best Actor Director combo I would have to say is Owen and Luke Wilson/Wes Anderson. In any other movie, I usually turn up my nose at Owen, but if it is connected to Wes Anderson, I am all about it. For the potatoes, Tiny Shoestring Fries, so that I can put malt vinegar over them. Millenium Falcon would win because the Enterprise is full of old people and ass-faced aliens. And Jessica Rabbit is the hottest female cartoon character. I believe that is all.

Guise: I’ll see your Lurch, Blackadder, and Riff-Raff and raise you Ianto from Torchwood. Also, don’t forget the butler from Clue.

Even though I picked Burton/Depp, I do have to admit that Dicaprio has done his best work with Scorcesse.

Hmm, JLAJRC, I guess I’ll play Winston from Tomb Raider and Hillary from the Tomb Raider film, and because they are both english butler charcatures from the same group, I’ll use their special ability to sacrifice them to summon Parker, Lady Penelope’s butler in Thunderbirds! F.A.B.

Just to be sure you aren’t hiding anything, I’ll also play my magic card Delbert Grady, the ghost of Overlook Hotel!

Another vote for Jessica Rabbit as the sexiest female toon…no contest…..She’s not bad…she’s just drawn that way! Plus I had a crush on her when I was a little kid….

Guise: I sacrifice all of my picks for Mr. Nanny and Vin Diesel’s character from “The Pacifier.” I’ll even throw in Lex Luthor’s personal assistant/bodyguard, Mercy.

{Dramatic Voice Over: Bah, and all I have in my hand is Kryten and Rosie the Robot, but no space station to activate them. But wait…}

I use Grady’s special possession ability to make one member of serving staff change sides until the spell is broken by breaking down the extra hit points…and I choose “Mr Nanny”, who, because of his high defense points and stupidly bulky body, I move to defense mode!

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!!! (it never is) Because I also play the magic card “Re-Hire” which allows me to summon from the ‘bit-part graveyard’ one fallen character, and I choose your fallen Ianto! With Ianto I can research Alien Tech and have a chance to find the Key to Space Station in the next 5 turns!

Brings out Mrs. White from Clue with ALL of her weapons. Also summons “The Nanny” Fran Drescher. She uses her “sonic voice” to render all of your characters deaf. Also uses his “steal an employee” and takes Lurch from you. Also uses his “power-Up” card to give Lurch “28 Days Later” type speed and an appetite to boost. He then proceeds to eat Riff-Raff.

Just to be mean, I’ll steal Rosie’s and Kryton’s extension cords, so even if you find the space station key, they’re still useless.

Bill & Ted vs. The Blues Brothers–Blues BRothers
Michael Myers vs. Leatherface ick..ummm neither?
Chucky vs. Jigsaw Chucky
Gremlins vs. The Puppetmaster dolls Gremlins
The GHostfaces from all the Scream films vs. The three goofballs from “House of 1,000 Corpses” and “Devils Rejects” Scream faces
Pinhead vs. The Tall Man Tall Man
Jaws vs. the Aligator from “Lake Placid” Lake placid aligator
DR. Giggles vs. The Dentist–Dr. Giggles
Leprechaun vs. Troll
Candyman vs. Beetlejuice–Beetle Juice
Carrie vs. Firestarter girl==Carrie
Terminator vs. Alien
Terminator vs. Predator–Terminator for both

{Dramatic V.O: Oh no, things look bleak. He’s drawn in valets, maids and a nanny…and he’s taken a great blocking defense. This is getting too tough, but I believe in the Hackwriter of the Cards and the love of my friends, as I make my next draw…}

So, you want to bring support staff in to the mix? Well then, I play the martial artist Kato in attack mode!!!

And if you think the extension cords will stop Kryten, well, I’ve got a few surprises in store for you!

Brings out the “Magical Trio” card of Mary Poppins, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, and Nanny McPhee, who proceeds to use their magical powers to make all of your characters play nice. They all start singing a chorus of “It’s a Small World, After all” driving them insane.

I cannot wait until you bring your space station/Kryton up, because I HAVE a couple of surprises in store for you, Guise.

Ron Popeil, simply because he has his own company, Ronco…all Billy Mays does is hawk stuff for other companies.

Wow, so much to respond to now that I’m on my lunch break from work. I’ll start with cheese. I hate cheese. Any kind of cheese. My friends all think I’m really weird because of it, but I think it’s all disgusting.

Bill & Ted vs. The Blues Brothers–As powerful and cool as The BB are, I gotta go Bill and Ted. I mean, either way, we’re not exactly dealing with a bunch of brain trusts here, but a time machine defeats anything The BB could come up with.

Michael Myers vs. Leatherface–I’m a bigger Halloween fan than I am a TCM fan, so I gotta go Michael. Plus, he’s just smarter and craftier than Leatherface.

Chucky vs. Jigsaw–Jigsaw. Again, much smarter and he’s got a loads of cool weapons.

Gremlins vs. The Puppetmaster dolls–Gremlins win on sheer numbers alone cause they can multiply quickly. If the shit goes down anywhere near a pool or a department store with a fountain, it’s over before it even starts.

The Ghostfaces from all the Scream films vs. The three goofballs from “House of 1,000 Corpses” and “Devils Rejects”–I gotta go with Rob Zombie’s guys on this one. They were way tougher and outnumber Ghostface anyway. Not even a contest.

Pinhead vs. The Tall Man–Pinhead all the way. He would rip Tall Man to pieces, and make him like it.

Leprechaun vs. Troll–I’ve never seen Troll, but I gotta guess Leprechaun cause he’s got loads of magical powers.

Candyman vs. Beetlejuice–Candyman’s way scarier, but I gotta go with Beetlejuice because he would be much more inventive. Candyman’s just kind of one trick pony. He’s just got the bees. I don’t know, let’s all stand in front of some mirrors and say their names 3 times and see what happens.

Carrie vs. Firestarter girl–Yeah, Carrie. She’s way more screwed up and a lot angrier.

Terminator vs. Alien–Terminator. He’s got more staying power and cool weapons. He can take a hit. One shot to an Alien’s head and he’s down.

Terminator vs. Predator–Now there’s a matchup. I think Predator could take a T-800, but a T-1000 or TX might stand a chance. I’ll have to think on it. That one’s close.

As far as butlers, I say Alfred wins hands down. He’s got British secret service training and has been hanging around Batman all these years. He’s got Batman’s expertise plus the whole arsenal of the Batcave to back him up. To top things off, he would recruit Rosie (there’s your futuristic technology), and for the scare factor, Lurch. I gotta go there cause I’m a horror fan above anything else. As far as I’m concerned, it’s over before it even starts.

I’m not sure about the whole Ron Popeil vs. Bille Mays thing. I think Ron would win cause everything he sells involves metal and heat. He’s got all those skewers and shit. About the only thing Billie could do is squirt cleaning products in your eyes and deafen you with his lack of an indoors voice. Ron looks like he’s harboring some sort of inner rage at this new, upstart loudmouthed kid. Old Ron’s been in this game a long and time and has been around the block a time or two, so I’m going with Ron. Purple Power, my ass.

allright… theres a lull at work for the moment so i thought i might make another post… going along with the popular debates so far i’ll pose this one… to see if the fans of this site can get as obscure as DjD says they are i’ll start with mildly obscure: which is the better british sitcom starring ade edmondson and rik mayall, “the young ones” or “bottom”

Since Jaws was brought up earlier in the post I thought I’d pass along some sad news. Roy Scheider (Chief Martin Brody) passed away today at the age of 75.

Sorry Captain Will didn’t refresh in time to see that you had already posted that. Guess thats what I get for falling behind.

Loved Roy in Jaws and 2010…He will be missed… :( Didn’t realize he was 75…

I just watched Roy in “All that Jazz” on HBO not too long ago. He was FANTASTIC in it. RIP Roy.

I got two more vs debates.
Freddy Krueger vs. Edward Scissorhands
Jason vs. Shredder

Tommy, Bottom for the episode ’s Out, because everyone should ask at least once in their life “How much meat do you get on a womble?”. Bottom and Young Ones beat Filthy, Rich and Catflap and Guest House Paradiso. Bonuses for Bottom Live and Live 2. Though, I’m partial to The Dangerous Brothers, New Statesman and Kevin Turvey.

JLAJRC
Freddy Krueger vs. Edward Scissorhands - Freddy, he already kicked Depp’s ass.
Jason vs. Shredder - Shredder, until he works out Jason is freakin’ invulnerable.

{{Sports Broadcaster: “Welcome back to the Butler City Nexus in the middle of the epic Butler Brawl championship. As you can see on the holographic board JLAJRC has currently in play:
The Pacifier, Mercy, Mrs White, Lurch, Mary Poppins, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, and Nanny McPhee,
while Guise has:
Blackadder, Parker, Mr Nanny, Ianto, and Kato.
Guise is also on the third of five turns before he can unlock the space station!}}

So, JLAJRC, you like to play the babysitter. Well, in my hand I’ve got a combo for you.

First, I’ll play the card Mrs Doubtfire from my hand to call it to my side, and then play the card “Also Starred In:” to switch her for The Genie from Aladdin!

Now, I’ll play the Magic Card “Supernanny” on Mr Nanny, which as you know from playing babysitter cards draws in all other babysitter types on the affected characters side of the board to create a babysitter with powers multiplied by the number of babysitters inside and keeps all their individual abilities but only able to use one per turn. Not much use you say, but then I remove Grady and send Mr Nanny back to your side!

Say hello to Supernanny, Level 5, and goodbye to your Pacifier, Mary Poppins, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, and Nanny McPhee. Just to make things interesting…

“Don’t Tell Mom, The Babysitters Dead”! This lowers all Babysitter types defense points to 10% of their value and breaks any of their special attack currently in play!

(Yes, just like the cartoon the rules are completely arbitary and non-sensical!)

First, brings out that Pokemon that’s a nurse in those episodes where the gang needs to heal a sick Pokemon at a hospital. Uses its magical powers to bring back my “Magical Trio” and then I put them in reserve to use in the future.

I then call on Granny from the “Sylvester and Tweety” cartoons and Nanny from “Muppet Babies.” They proceed to lecture and spank all of my opponants characters. Humiliated, their defenses, speed, strength, endurance, etc. decrease by 20%. Don’t mess with a lecturing Granny who spanks.

To combat your Genie, I call in Tootsie, and also use a “Also Star in Card” to turn him into “Mr. Magorium” who then proceeds by using his powers to turn all the toys he brings into magical weapons to use against Genie. Also brings Martin Lawrences “Big Mama” to counteract the Genies wisecracks.

BTW, did anyone watch the “Charlie Brown Valetine” cartoon that ABC showed on Saturday, because I have a question. There’s a scene where Sally walks down the street talking to a character that looked like a long-haired hippie. They even gave him lines. I never seen him before. Does anyone know who he was?

Wow. I’m still a few hours away from being awake enough to form opinions on everything, so I’ll just weigh in on the things that I’m passionate about.
Worst Sitcom Ever? The War at Home
Most Superior Potato Format? Tater Tots
Leprechaun vs. Troll? Troll Twos defeat them all. They have Creedence Leonore Gielgud in their corner.

JLAJRC, Guise: I have two Mrs. Garretts that I’ve been holding on to. One original Facts of Life and one Facts of Life Reunion Special…

Ummm…The young ones wins everytime…..i mean, the punk character was my favorite, back in high school when i thought i was uber cool because i liked the sex pistols and the dead kennedys.

Oh maaan. Bummer about Roy Schieder. I loved sea-quest, me and my pops would watch that and TNG together.

Bill & Ted vs. The Blues Brothersâ€“
Bill and Ted. Even if they lose, they can go back in time and Rig the fight. Not to mention pick up a couple of WWII guys and really make mincemeat outta them.

Michael Myers vs. Leatherfaceâ€“
Leatherface. Cause Sickos can sometimes be reasoned with but Crazy is CRAZY. You can’t reason with Crazy. Besides, Leatherface has a CHAINSAW! Boom-shakka-laka!

Chucky vs. Jigsaw- I don’t know who Jigsaw is… Oh! Jigsaw is the Saw guy, huh? Then Jigsaw. I hate Chucky, and Saw gives me nightmares.

Gremlins vs. The Puppetmaster dollsâ€“
Gremlins. Cause they’re just DOLLS. I don’t care. Plastc doesn’t scare me. Crafty reptiles scare me.

The Ghostfaces from all the Scream films vs. The Firefly Family from “House of 1,000 Corpses” and “Devils Rejects”â€“
I’m a bit offended by them being called dumbasses, but to each their own. They fall into “Leatherface” territory here. Crazy can’t be reasoned with. This kind of crazy has been NUTURED SINCE BIRTH. it’s simply unbreakable.

Pinhead vs. The Tall Man- Just seeing PinHead gives me heebie-jeebies, So he wins.

Jaws vs. the Aligator from “Lake Placid”- I haven’t seen Lake Placid, but I find alligators to be way scarier than sharks… On the simple fact that if you don’t want a shark to get you, STAY OUT OF THE WATER. With an alligator, you don’t have much of a choice. So- Lake Placid.

Dr. Giggles vs. The Dentist- Null and Void to me- I don’t know what these are.

Leprechaun vs. Trollâ€“ Neither. I fucking HATE that Leprechaun, and I don’t think I can go with a monster I ain’t seen. Can I just go with the CHUD and call it a day?

Candyman vs. Beetlejuiceâ€“ Oh, fuck. I’m scared of Candyman. But Beetlejuice is scary too, in his own sense. I think Beetlejuice would WIN, but Candyman is a scary motherfucker.

Terminator vs. Alienâ€“
Hm. I dunno. Good one. I like the Aliens, and their blood IS acid… But I think the Terminator would win becuase he’s not human and he’s pretty fuckng persistent.

Terminator vs. Predatorâ€“ I dunno. That’s GOOD. I wanna think that the Predator can outmatch the Terminator due to tenacity and intelligence. But he IS just skin and bone, and therfore no match for the Terminator.

Freddy Krueger vs. Edward Scissorhands- Freddy. Eddie’s just a morose motherfucker and would probably take that beating cause he’s a puss.

Jason vs. Shredder-
Shredder. Shredder’s got MAD ninja skillz. As long as Shredder keeps his cool and isn’t fazed by Jason’s “stalking”… he’ll do just fine.

Sends Mrs. Garret and that other maid from Different Strokes to backup Granny and “Muppet Babies” Nanny.

Then I send in Emeril Lagasse, who mistakes Waiterbot and Betty for squid. Proceeds to chop them up and cook them.

I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date…HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT!!!!! Love you lots for all you have done and all you continue to do. Here’s hoping this year has lots of dirty martinis in it for ya.

First, I play a Battle Beast with SunBurst, wiping out all other Elemental players. As a distraction, I bring in Unicron with a demigod order of Sonic Pickle-O’s with cheese. Launching a landing party from Spaceball-One, I bring in American Maid, Chi Chi Liza, B-ko in the Akagiyama 23, A-ko, Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl, and Black Canary from CN’s Justice League, The Martian Queen from Duck Dodgers, Princess What’s-Her-Name from the Earthworm Jim cartoon, hot chicks and capable fighters all. I couldn’t decide on which version of Batgirl, Batman:TAS or The Batman, but I have my Trans-dimensional portal, so both.
They hit Rio for some fun in the sun, and take a truck full of Arby’s curly fries, with plenty of ketchup and Horsey Sauce. Next, I toss my Triple-Ripple icon and bring Alfred Pennyworth from the Adam West Batman, the Tim Burton Batman, and Batman Begins to the same location. Freshly-polished Silverware Glare cuts opponent’s vision by 40%. then all Characters are swiped into another portal, to be used at Comic Book Universe Battles

AHA! You triggered my trap card! “Mother from out of town”, this returns any monster card under level 7 back to your hand as it tries to convince the visiting relative that it actually owns the place and isn’t just a servant.

I summon Kryten and a Skutter, I use the Skutter battery to give a power boost to Kryten, thus negating the need to use extension cords. I use his nipple spin attack and handwhisk groinal attachment to start up a tornado that wipes any magic and trap cards from your side of the field.

I then use the Magic Card “The Butler Did It” allowing each Butler-type monster a direct attack on your life points at 100 points each! I have Blackadder, Parker, and Kryten, so 300 points.

I send Kato to take out Emeril in a knife fight, which destroys both. I then use the “Spoilt Broth” magic card to make sure the cooked squid is served up by my new monster Swedish Chef!

I also set the Ianto to research new Future Tech: Space Station Secret Ability (MegaMaid in 2 Turns)!

JLAJRC, on the Freddy vs. Edward Scissorhands front, I’d have to go Freddy. I’ll agree with what someone else said, he’s already killed Johnny Depp once, and let’s face it, Freddy’s an insane killer and Edward’s pretty passive.

Anonymous, Noooow, you’re speaking my language. Being that The Cure is my alltime favorite band ever (with David Bowie and Bauhaus coming up a close second), I gotta go with Robert Smith. Not to slam Morrisey in any way. I dig him a lot too, and The Smiths are amazing. But, we’ve already seen via South Park that Robert can turn into a giant Godzilla-esque robot and take out Barbara Streisand. He’ll be sending Morrisey to “The Cemetary Gates” before he knows what hit him.

I’m still trying to reconcile the fact that TOmmy! is posting here. Seeing a friend whom I work with infiltrating my X-E world is a little disorienting. I don’t know how “Work DJ D” is going to handle merging with “X-E DJ D”.

You just triggered my SUPER trap card (more powerful than a regular trap card, thereby blocking your last attack) “Make all opponants technology null card.” I then combine it with my “Romance” attack (It is Valentines Day, after all).

This brings onto the field Sara (the talking house from “Eureka), a couple of fembots, and C3PO. They proceeds to ask Kryton, Rosie, AND your Space Station out on a date. They all agree and get into the Knight Rider Car, along with the boombox Transformer, who drives away playing “Mr. Roboto.” Have fun on your date guys.

Also, since Ianto has a thing for robotic women, I bring onto the field Vicky, the robot from “Small Wonder.” I use the “Add 10 Years” card to turn her into a very attractive 18 year old robot. Ianto, of course, goes crazy and takes Vicky out for a date himself, removing him from the field also.

Anonymous- Robert Smith, of course duh a million times over.
DJD- are you going to see them this time around? I have tickets for Chicago this May…which was supposed to be September, but you know how that went.

kb, Yeah! It’ll be my 3rd time. We got 6th row! It’s in Charlotte, I believe. It was supposed to be September, then got moved to May, then June. So yeah, I can’t wait for June to get here.

Triple-Ripple flips back into my possession, and I check the dice cup and see I have the Upper Hand (with pinky ring), Merciless Ming Vase, Radishing Beauty, and two Big Ball (Charity and Fancy Dressed) icons. I play the spell card “Special Episode: Clip Show” to buy time with some un-needed flashbacks. I draw and place Sears Tower wearing Sears Clothing, and Transvestite TransAmerica Pyramid, in Defense mode. I toss in a Donut Cutter icon, and end my turn. My T-D-P recharges….

To summon the Tim Curry version! *evil laughter* now your precious…whatever the hell we’re all playing for shall be mine!

::defeated, Guise drops to his knees and whimpers about a family member needing surgery as his cards scatter all around him::

{Overdramatic voice over: The Hackwriter of the Cards failed me, I must be strong. Maybe…maybe I’ll get another chance, and little Tranquility will get the adjustable inflatable breast implant surgery so that by next season she can give fanservice}

(but, Valentines…oh Valentines, I’m already at my 24th poem/37th quatrain for 2008. Such wonderful topics include: smelling hair, ice picks, serious sex face, erectile dysfunction, and radio collars.)

You were a VERY worthy opponant, Guise. You definately had me reeling quite a few times. I hope we have another battle soon.

I also made a mistake. Today isn’t Valentines Day. It’s on Friday. I now feel like a schmuck. Still, anyday is a good day for romance.

JLAJRC: “Today isn’t Valentines Day. It’s on Friday. I now feel like a schmuck. ”

Now- feel like MonsterSchmuck- IT’S THURSDAY.
*pats on back and offers Cadbury Egg for solace*

Gotta go with Village of the Damned. Blank eyed, white haired kids are a lot creepier than a bunch of hicks liivng in a corn field.

To be perfectly honest, I think Children of the Corn is the main reason why I do not like Iowa. My fiance is from Iowa, and the last time we went out there, I couldn’t sleep at night because I thought creepy ass Malachi was going to come out of the field and kill me. Seriously, his house sits in front of a huge corn field, so who knows what kind of demonic children could be lurking amongst the stalks….plus i had to drive 17 hours to go bowling and cry because i can’t bowl for shit, and his family is in like the PBA…..its obscene…

I bought three “NEW!” items this week and they’re all adorned with purple.

Easy Cheese - Roasted Garlic Cheddar
Premium crackers - Toasted Onion
Little Debbie S’mores

JLAJRC: Ok, I think the Midwich Cuckoos would beat Children of the Corn, unless the Corncob Kids got a run-in from Anthony Freemont of Twilight Zone who could send people actually in to the endless cornfield.

Leigha : he didn’t have scarecrows though, right? Dear sweet jeebus, don’t let there be scarecrows…

ooooh, good one. In theory, I’m inclined to agree with DJ D, however I saw Children of the Corn at way too young and tender of an age. Also, growing up in a super isolated, religiously fanatical small town in the third world south, it struck a nerve with me.

I saw John Franklin and Courntey Gaines (Isaac and Malachi) at a horror con. last year. Malachi was very cool. I got him to autograph the picture to “Outlander!” But I honestly could not bring myself to go over and talk to Isaac.

JLAJRC, if you are talking about Rod Serling and Cryptie as they appeared on TV, then Serling as Cryptie used to have a problem with bits cracking.

Hello, everybody! This “vs.” line of discussion is interesting. Now for my own variant: Chuck Norris vs. Steven Segal. I say Chuck Norris, not only because he’s cool, but because it’s hard to take seriously a middle-aged white guy talking street, as Steven Segal’s character does in at least one of his movies (Half Past Dead). That strains credibility more than any outrageous stunt, IMO.

Don’t know if anyone here is a comic book fan, but 70s Marvel writer Steve Gerber passed away on Sunday. While he wrote quite a few things, he’s probably most famous for creating Howard the Duck.

What if you add Jeff “Enough With The Kicking” Speakman? For nothing more than Kevin Pollack’s joke.

Actually, I think a better battle for the MST3K robots would be them against The Sklar Brothers of ESPN Classic’s “Cheap Seats.” If you never seen CS, it’s basically a clone of MST3K, but it targets sports. It’s not bad.

What the hell Matt when are you going to update your site, I demand the free entertainment I deserve from you.

Actually, a “Hi, I’ve not tripped in to a meat processing machine and been served as a stadium hot dog” from Matt would be quite welcome about now…

check this one out… its all your favorite saturday morning cartoons circa 1989 telling you about the dangers of drugs in one of the trippiest anti drug films ever made (make sure you have a half hour to kill, its a long one)

also, who would win in a street fight, the creepy ax murderer twins from the shining or the crazy sisters from spider baby???

TOmmy, oh man, Spider Baby…that was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

i tend to think it would probably be a tie if it werent for the fact that the shining twins were ghosts and couldnt be killed…

The thing that always gets me about Spider Baby is “fat postal worker on a scooter”, stuck leaning in through a window, and knitted spiderweb. Heck, the driveup to the house on the postal scooter took longer than the credits and were much wobblier.

“A musical version is making the rounds of small community theatres looking for a wider audience. It opened at the Empty Space theatre in Bakersfield, California on Halloween 2004. In October 2007, it opened in Brookings, Oregon at the local Grange Hall, and in Orlando, Florida at the Black Orchid Theatre.”

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