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01/31/2008: Choose Your Own Adventure!

I used to love Choose Your Own Adventure books, and the fact that that’s far from a unique statement is less of an indictment of me and more of a testament to how amazing this giant collection of you-shape-the-stories was/is.

It feels nearly pointless to describe what they were, but assuming that there is even a single reader who never soaked in a CYOA book at some point, it worked like this: Read a page or two, and you’d be given options as to what the book’s star character should do next. If you wanted to do “Action A,” you turned to “Page X.” If you wanted to do “Action B,” you turned to “Page XX.” Rinse and repeat that for many pages, and what you had were these great, strange little stories with multiple endings, ranging from the mediocre to the ultra-happy, and even including a few where poor decisions caused your character to die in horrible ways.

The novelty of turning books into games notwithstanding, CYOA titles could be equally championed for the broad range of eerie and awesome topics they covered. In one book, your character attended a Halloween party in a house that may or may not have been filled with flesh-eating monsters. In another, you ran marathons with the Abominable Snowman. There were plenty of titles with lighter themes, but I always viewed the CYOA franchise as being my first introduction to “unsettling reading.”

If you forced me to pick a favorite, I wouldn’t have much trouble. Meet Gorga!


Gorga, The Space Monster was one of the “young reader” CYOA books, with more pictures, less pages and increased spacing between letters. I picked it up from the Troll Book Club during grade school and read it no less than 15,000 times. The story involves a young boy who finds a car-sized, three-eyed purple space monster in his backyard, which grows larger and larger throughout the book. Depending on which “actions” you chose to take, Gorga would be portrayed as everything from a befuddled pet to an out-of-control, planet-destroying maniac.

There wasn’t a definitive strategy involved with finding your way to one of the “good endings.” Not that it mattered much: If you ended up with a bad one, all you had to do was flip back to the original page and pick the other action. (Technically, this was cheating, but who was going to admonish you? Gorga? Gorga was paper; he couldn’t do shit.) Despite your decision-making process adding up to a crapshoot, it was still smart to avoid actions that seemed to be in bad taste:


This trick didn’t work universally, but more often than not, being a “nice kid” usually paved way for happier endings. In the case shown above, hitting poor Gorga over the head with a log brought forth an abrupt ending in which the monster…well, ate you. The “abrupt bad ending” was the worst thing that could happen to a CYOA reader. It was like walking into a Goomba on Level 1-1.

Happier endings involved the lead character successfully keeping Gorga safe from gun-toting officials, but in a way, I preferred the vaguely horrific bad endings. When I sat on Gorga’s back and flew him safely into space, yeah, I did good, but I didn’t really think about the story after closing the book. When something bad happened, it stuck with me for a little longer. See below.


I wouldn’t say that I actively sought out bad endings (I wanted to “win” more than I wanted Gorga to eat me and my family), but when you’re a kid and you’re just entering the wild world of books that aren’t 85% pictures, this kind of creepy stuff has a lasting effect.

The Choose Your Own Adventure series was enormously successful. Debuting in 1979 and still running today in some form or another, it’s amassed hundreds of titles with several printings. Course, I don’t want you to mistake this entry as a random tribute to CYOA, as I’m really only here to point to the obvious deity that is Gorga the space monster. I loved him!


Purple, porcine and triple-eyed, Gorga was easy to draw and fun to color. And, in one version of the story, he grew large enough to eat a passenger train. These are the traits of something worth sacrificing a live chicken to. Gorga deserves at least one Google hit that sends people to something other than a used book storefront, and if it’s my destiny to make that happen, I can now retire with my head held high.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 183 comments

Did I just put my name is as “DJ DJ”? Why am I suddenly the oldest daughter on Full House?

Ghosted by DJ D @ 02/01/2008 2:39 PM EST


DJ D you still have some SMCS? I have a serious craving for that stuff right about now. I haven’t had any since early december…….oh my heart aches for the SMCS….

Ghosted by Leigha @ 02/01/2008 2:40 PM EST


Leigha, I just finished off the last of it the other day, but I think the stores around here are still selling it. I see it all the time. Yeah, I got pretty hooked on that stuff for a while. I never found any Pomegranate 7-Up though. It doesn’t exist around here.

Ghosted by DJ D @ 02/01/2008 3:15 PM EST


DJ D
The only time I spotted Pomegranate 7-Up was on the day before Thanksgiving: I was shopping for some last minute grocery items with my brother, and saw a bunch of 2-liter bottles of it, and was going to buy one, but he talked me out of it, and I haven’t seen it anywhere else since.

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 02/01/2008 4:14 PM EST


One of my favourites in the same vein, was a tie-in to the Knightmare TV series, which included named characters.

Oh yeah, I forgot that one. I had (still have?) this somewhere. Whilst it wasn’t the best of the bunch, as is often the case with licensed material, it was still really good. Although a UK thing it’s really XE-worthy (is that a phrase? It is now!)

Oh, and Matt, if you’re reading, you should try and get hold of some ‘Knightmare’ episodes and do an article of them. “Sidestep to the left. No LEFT!”

(I’m off to dig out my Knightmares and MOTU adventure books and party like it’s 1989).

Ghosted by Jay Firestorm @ 02/01/2008 4:23 PM EST


I found the Promegranite 7Up rather easily at Wal-Mart.

But I could never find the Gingerbread Pop-Tarts or the Peppermint Peeps.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 02/01/2008 4:53 PM EST


When the Dragon’s Lair cartoon was on, before the commercial break, they presented a choice for Dirk, and you had to guess which way he would go. After the break, you were told which one was fatal. Come to think of it, I need to buy a copy of the DL DVD pack. It had DL, DL2:Time Warp, and Space Ace, all ready to play on a standard DVD player. I know there are some other DVDs with the choose a path gimmick, but all I can find in stores are the slightly pervy anime ones.

Ghosted by kingklash is pre-banned cigarette TV ads @ 02/01/2008 5:03 PM EST


That Goosebumps one seemed SO scary to my little 8 year old self. Virtually every ending ended up with me dying, save for the cho-cho one. I distinctly remember the feeling of dread reading that book, knowing more than likely I was about to die.

Seemed like they were such creapy deaths too.

Ghosted by wingspan @ 02/01/2008 5:17 PM EST


*creepy*

And I’m sure a host of other mistakes

Ghosted by wingspan @ 02/01/2008 5:22 PM EST


DJ D = That was hilarious! And, I agree.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 02/01/2008 5:36 PM EST


I used to love those books when I was a kid. A couple of years ago I bought ESCAPE used just for nostalgia. I think I was about 30 when I did that. I know, I’m pathetic, but things were better back then.

Ghosted by Chris @ 02/01/2008 6:42 PM EST


Jay, there was a group of kids in my secondary school who were on Knightmare when we transfered up from primary, for ages they were heroes until they got to the episode where they failed.

Watching repeats of the show recently was tragic though, it looked so cool back then, and now you realise how nasally and swotty some of those kids were.

Then they replaced it with “Virrrrrrtually IMpossssible” or some such, with that ‘hi-tech’ series of games. Channel 4’s Gamesmaster looked better graphics, and let’s face it Gamesmaster could kick the heck out of Captain N.

UK shows well worth trying to get hold of: anything Roland Rat did, Round The Bend (Doc Croc, Thunderpants), Knightmare, The Ink Thief (Richard O’Brien! I have the VHS set!), the original Crystal Maze, Krypton Factor (because…well, no-one really watched it back then), The Interceptor (laser tag with a blond guy in a helicopter).

Ghosted by Guise @ 02/01/2008 6:49 PM EST


My Dad used to go to the book store a lot. I always went happily because I knew I would walk away with one of these books. My first experience was with Twist A Plot from Troll or Weekly Reader.

Ones that still stick in my mind after all these years are sabotage! the forbidden castle, super computer, and journey to atlantis.

My favorite line of all time though was Interplanetary Spy. It was the same kind of book only many of the make a choice pages where puzzles that you had to figure out to succesfuly move the story along.

Ultimately these types of books would reach maturity in series like Sorcery. Much more involved stories which included RPG like character development.

Ghosted by Past Pist @ 02/01/2008 7:25 PM EST


Guise – I remember ‘Virtually Impossible’; terrible ‘Knightmare’ knockoff (even though it was from the same company), when Children’s ITV were starting to aim at younger kids, which lasted a whole one series!

I’ve got a ‘Round The Bend’ comic somewhere (it was only a one-off).

Matt, I think it’s time to start extending X-E’s gaze. Lots of classic UK shows that would be well at home in an article or two.

Ghosted by Jay Firestorm @ 02/01/2008 8:18 PM EST


Chris Don’t worry about it we all buy something we remember from our childhood now and again. I bet Matt would be a millionaire by now if he hasn’t been squandering away his earnings on stuff from his childhood and actually saved it away like a responsible adult should. But we love him for it. We sincerely do.

Ghosted by Goob @ 02/01/2008 8:25 PM EST


I can’t believe no one mentioned “Hyperspace” yet. That was the best CYOA ever!! I, also, have a couple CYOA (and a Sweet Valley High) on my shelf, just for old time’s sake.

Ghosted by Teejay @ 02/01/2008 8:37 PM EST


I had “MYSTERY OF THE MAYA” which I think is one of the early ones. I remember it had a lot of bad endings and left me feeling uncomfortable with the Mayan culture/history. Maybe this book is the reason why today I’m the only one of my friends who has no desire to vacation in the Mayan Rivera? When my friend told me today that she’s going to take a vacation there in a few months I was probably thinking “Great, you’ll disappear into a pool of blood at a Mayan monument and I’ll have to go try to find you and end up dying by falling into some pit & breaking my neck!” Wow – 70s & 80s culture really warped our generation!
;-)

Ghosted by TheToyFairy @ 02/01/2008 9:06 PM EST


I remember a G.I. Joe one I had you being killed by Storm Shadow. I was like, “That sucks!”, especially for the Joes he offed.

Another CYOA one I remember reading (although it may have been a knockoff) had you going back to Pilgrim times in a time machine your father invented, being pursued through time by a rival of his. I remember one ending had you stuck in the past with no way of getting home.

Ghosted by Dantheman @ 02/01/2008 9:50 PM EST


I can pretty much some up my entire 6th grade “girls not longer have cooties” moment, when I got the Which-Way-Book, “The Pillars of Pentagarn”.

I had such a crush on the elf thief, Lydia:

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e339/medevac2005/lydia.jpg

Who unfortunately was such a greedy bitch, half the page-turns ended with her dying by her own stupid hand. She was crushed in an earthquake, and turned into an evil skeleton zombie after donning some cursed ring.

I had to scour the entire book to find an ending where she didn’t die…therefore leaving me and my imagination free to concoct a story where we lived happily ever after and made little pointy-eared babies.

Ghosted by medevac @ 02/01/2008 11:08 PM EST


Speaking of funky flavored sodas…has anyone found Diet Chocolate Cherry Dr. Pepper yet? I have seen ads only so far.
I did try the Pomegranate 7up. It was good, but I am not going to be sad if/when it gets discontinued.

Ghosted by kb @ 02/01/2008 11:17 PM EST


kb: I tried that stuff this week. It’s not the best stuff, but I’m not usually a diet drinker, so it’s hard to judge. Tastes a little mediciney at first, though.

Ghosted by jazzy @ 02/01/2008 11:32 PM EST


The CYOA book that I remember is one in which “you” were transported back into the days of King Arthur before he was King, and “you” had to pretend to be a bard, and “you” rhymed “Lancelot” with “Pranced a lot.”

I hated that rhyme. Even as a kid, if I were “you” I would have thought up better lyrics to my bard-song.

Ghosted by Jemmy @ 02/02/2008 12:19 AM EST


KB: That Chocolate Dr. Pepper is the NASTIEST soda I ever tasted. Even some of those Jones novelty sodas that they put out for Halloween and Christmas taste better. I really do urge you to AVOID it at ALL COST!

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 02/02/2008 12:31 AM EST


Dispite what JLAJRC says, I have heard it’s good. I haven’t found it here yet though I couldn’t tell you.

Also we NEVER got sierra mist cranberry splash which irritates me because I got it the year before that and it was good. We still have pomegranate 7up around here. I got some peppermint peeps they only sold them at RiteAid. I never got gingerbread pop tarts here I got some little debbie gingerbread men cookies which they still are selling here. My aunt every year makes Christmas cookies and she has some popular gingerbread cookies the eyes and the mouth are 3 red hots and the buttons down the front are raisins and she has white frosting on the cuffs and he has a little santa hat on so she puts trim on that too. It’s not Christmas without having at least one, they go quickly.

I didn’t get one last Christmas unfortunately I had to settle for some store bought but hopefully this year I’ll get one or two. She’s 65 so maybe someday when she is too old to make her cookies or even after she dies I can take over and continue the legacy of her wonderful Christmas cookies. I haven’t told her my vision of that dream yet though! lol! She is the only relative I have been talking to lately, I’ve been having family issues. I’m right their wrong. Nuff’ said.

Also they are still playing Christmas commercials! Those lazy tv people!

Ghosted by Goob @ 02/02/2008 2:09 AM EST


kb – While I have considered it, I’ve never had the nerve to pick up the Diet Chocolate Cherry Dr. Pepper yet. I do agree with you on the Pomegranate 7-Up.

I really enjoyed the first two-liter I bought/consumed, and still somewhat appreciated the second, but I feel it is one of those flavors that is better enjoyed in moderation. If they kept the product on the shelf year-round I would virtually ignore it in favor of the regular, under appreciated, 7-Up. Now, if they release it for six weeks, once a year, and label the bottle “limited edition” with fancy holiday graphics, well, I’ll just concede to my weakness… I’d go nuts to find it each and every year. I hope the 7-Up “marketing people” were reading.

Really, I hope they were.

Ghosted by Magic Toy @ 02/02/2008 2:10 AM EST


good times good times. I remember a CYOA where if you chose wrong you ended up as a whale.

Anyone remember the books were it was an actual game, like a mini rpg.

Ghosted by zacwax @ 02/02/2008 2:10 AM EST


OMG! I had completely forgotten about these!! I used to LOVE them!!!!

Ghosted by lidduhllo @ 02/02/2008 2:58 AM EST


kb, I was at Wal Mart last night and passed a huge display with this weird Dr. Pepper concoction you speak of. I’m a big Dr. Pepper fan (I’m talking just the basic stuff, not the suped up diet, funky flavor stuff that’s coming out these days), and almost had a split second where I thought about picking some up, but thought better of it. I love Dr. Pepper so much I can’t imagine messing around with it by putting chocolate and cherries in there. That just sounds like a recipie for gross.

Guise and all the other UK folks, So, maybe you can help me out with this. When I was going to school in England I had 5 flatmates who said that I reminded them of a cartoon character that they grew up with. It was some English show that we never got over here so I didn’t know what they were talking about. Apparently, it had a shopkeeper character in it, who would just appear about of nowhere without announcing his presence. When he did, a voiceover would say “As if by magic, the Shopkeeper appeared.” The reason they said that, was that apparently I have a habit (and people told me this in high school too) of quietly entering a room, sitting down, and scaring the piss out of people cause I’m so quiet and don’t say anything. My nickname in high school was “Stealth”. It’s not intentional at all. I’m just really quiet most of the time. Anyway, they started saying “As if by magic” everytime I entered a room. That soon became the thing to say everytime I just showed up. The standard greeting changed from just “Hi Dave” to “Oh, Hi Dave, as if by magic, alright”. Even if they were in a hurry and on their way out as I was coming in, it would sound something like, “Hey Dave, asifbymagic, bye!” Basically, it just became part of my name.

Anyways, I guess my question is, what cartoon was that from and do you remember it? We never got it over here. We did have a poster hanging up in the flat at the time of the Shopkeeper, and at the bottom it read, “As if By Magic.” Later, after I came back home, one of my flatmates sent me a postcard with the same picture on it, and on the back, he just put one sentence…”I don’t think this needs an explaination.”

The other thing that kind of got attached to my name, was apparently in the UK there was at one time someone famous called Ravey Davey Gravy. I have no idea what he was famous for, but they took to calling Ravey Davey sometimes, or just Gravy, or variations on that. Any idea on what that was all about or who this guy was?

Ghosted by DJ D @ 02/02/2008 3:07 AM EST


I’m in that position where I can’t decide whether I should risk over sleeping or risk getting through tomorrow without any sleep.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 02/02/2008 5:15 AM EST


DJ D:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr_Benn

And now you know.

Ghosted by Fungusmungus @ 02/02/2008 6:34 AM EST


And from VIZ (UK Mad magazine of sorts):

http://www.vizartwork.co.uk/ravey-davey-gravy-cover-issue-76-228-p.asp

FM

Ghosted by Fungusmungus @ 02/02/2008 6:39 AM EST


Oh god, Jay, I remember that comic. It was huge and had the letters from readers page that had complaints of how it could have letters when it was the only issue. Some of the things like “Wee Man and the Masters of the Loo-niverse”, “Y-fronto and the Thunderpants” who fought Bum-Ra, “Pzycho the Magnificent”, stories about Atomic Bananas and Killer Teeth From Beyond The Stars, Fat Man.

Geez, I remember all the complaints about the show.

Ghosted by Guise @ 02/02/2008 9:38 AM EST


Guise – yeah, that was it. You kind of knew it wasn’t going to last long, it was the sort of thing that would attract complaints from parents. It was kind of ‘Garbage Pail Kids’-like in a way.

I know I’ve got the comic somewhere still, altough I think the front and back cover have gone walkies over the years. I’m gonna try and dig it out, it was really funny, in a children’s Viz sort of way.

Ghosted by Jay Firestorm @ 02/02/2008 11:31 AM EST


…Oh, and DJ D, the cartoon was indeed ‘Mister Benn’. I grew up with that as a young child. It was based upon a series of books.

I’ve heard interesting comparisons more than a few times over the years that it was like a children’s predecessor to ‘Quantum Leap’. Like Sam Beckett, he would ‘become’ a different person each episode, and help the people around him sort their problems out. The Shopkeeper was like Al, appearing out of nowhere. To make it child friendly, Mr. Benn returned home at the end of each episode, unlike Sam.

Of course, there’s nothing in it, it’s all coincidence, but it makes for a nice comparison.

Ghosted by Jay Firestorm @ 02/02/2008 11:37 AM EST


Attention all slugs:

There is really no reason to come into my bathroom at any time. There are no delicious leafy green plants in there, nor will there ever be. The only thing you can possibly accomplish is put yourself in a position to be under my bare foot at 3 AM. And seriously, that’s not going to turn out well for either of us. Go away.

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 02/02/2008 1:04 PM EST


Jay, or the idea that Mr Benn was a man who used to work in ‘the city’ or the civil service (hence his clothes) and expressed way too much interest on the children on his street. That the Shopkeeper was either the devil or a drug dealer offering alternate realities.

I want the movie though, with the Shopkeeper played by Alexi Sayle.

While we’re at it, Bod and his Aunt Flo. Yeah, Aunt Flo.

Ghosted by Guise @ 02/02/2008 1:58 PM EST


There seems to be a unanimous “yuck” about the new Dr. Pepper flavor, which means I will buy it, but only once…if I ever find it.

Ghosted by kb @ 02/02/2008 2:12 PM EST


My screen name is mlsterben… lol.

Ghosted by Ben @ 02/02/2008 2:19 PM EST


Hey DJ D, that re-animated Transformers thing was pretty awesome looking. See, why couldn’t they have done the live-action movie like that? I think it would’ve worked just fine…grumble mumble…

Ghosted by Annette @ 02/02/2008 4:00 PM EST


I chose oversleep :|

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 02/02/2008 4:23 PM EST


Suddenly, as if by magic, SLUGS!

I would like to see TF:TM redone in it’s entirety like that. Same soundtrack, different visuals. That’s been my secret wish for a few years now.

Anybody here have an ION (used to be PAX) channel in their area? I may be getting hooked on Firebrand. It’s like MTV for cool TV ads from around the civilized world. Unlike eMpTy Vee, it is really worth watching, even just once. Even the website is nifty.

Ghosted by kingklash, master of mollusks @ 02/02/2008 5:37 PM EST


Happy SNT!!!! im sitting here watching eddie izzard concerts off of youtube…woo!

Ghosted by mandy_Reeves @ 02/02/2008 8:00 PM EST


Man Walmart was busy today! I took a video with my cell phone (loving that feature this last couple of weeks) and we got a few things we needed and wanted. I got some of those cheesecake hershey kisses (yum) and a case of diet dr pepper chocolate cherry soda. If you sip it it’s good. If you chug it then it has a bitter taste from the dr pepper. It tastes like cherry cordials. That is the best description I can think of. A keeper? No, it won’t replace my usual beverages but it’s a nice treat. I like the hershey kisses though a lot I’ll try my best not to inhale the whole bag in one night. Cheesecake everything is really good they keep on showing that sonic commerical with those cheesecake bites there isn’t a Sonic around here so that just makes me want to seek revenge on the company.

kingklash we have Ion television here, all I pay attention to on that channel is Who’s the Boss reruns. They played the wonder years but I don’t think they play it anymore since changing the schedule in the fall. Boo :( but I watched most of them when they still played them before they took the series off so that’ll last me for a while.

Ghosted by Goob @ 02/02/2008 8:32 PM EST


mandy_Reeves: You wouldn’t happen to be watching Izzard’s Dress To Kill, would you?

Love it.

Ghosted by Magic Toy @ 02/02/2008 9:34 PM EST


Does anybody know what today is?

It’s Groundhog Day! So I’m going to be firing up that movie. Because I also rented two other movies today without realizing it (it’s definitely early spring down here. Sheesh.), tonight I will be enjoying a triple feature: Groundhog Day, El Topo, and finally Alien.

Enjoy and Happy Groundhog day, everyone!

Ghosted by Ben @ 02/02/2008 10:11 PM EST


[HER:] They say we’re young and we don’t know
We won’t find out until we grow
[HIM:] Well I don’t know if all that’s true
‘Cause you got me, and baby I got you

[HIM:] Babe
[BOTH:] I got you babe I got you babe

Ghosted by Magic Toy @ 02/02/2008 10:22 PM EST


yeah toy i was watching that one and also sexie.

And funny you oughta mention the I got You Babe song. Thats me and my husband danced to at our wedding

Ghosted by mandy_Reeves @ 02/02/2008 10:29 PM EST


Does anybody know what today is?

Imbolc! And I got to go to a pagan expo and stock up on goodies and laugh at hippies.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 02/02/2008 10:58 PM EST


So did anyone else notice the three dancing Santa Clause faces? Right click it and save the picture and you’ll see that it’s called “xmas2007-discussion” ….

Ghosted by Kyle @ 02/02/2008 11:13 PM EST


Kyle
Yeah, it’s leftover smilies from Xmas season.

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 02/02/2008 11:20 PM EST


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