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01/29/2008: Return of the Madballs!

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Moving on!

Of all the '80s toy lines that could've potentially resurfaced, I don't think I would've ever put money on Madballs. Turns out, I'm a shitty gambler. Madballs are back, and they're every bit as gloriously gruesome and pointlessly pleasant as the obnoxious originals. (I'm a shitty gambler, but I'm awesome at Scattergories.)

One of the most amazing things about this Madballs relaunch is the honest attempt by Basic Fun to market them as "toys for kids." Granted, that's what they are, but I have to suspect that most sales will stem from those in and around my age — people who grew up loving 'em, hoping to reclaim a lost glory or two. Though they're sold at many of the twenty-something hipster shops as sheer novelty acts, Basic Fun has somehow managed to persuade traditional toy store chains to carry the beasts. Will the kids of today respond so positively? Probably not, but I can't say that I mind walking through Toys "R" Us and spotting a shelf full of simple Madballs next to all of the toys with MP3 players and flash drives pouring out their asses.

While the new Madballs share names and appearances with the old guard, they're more detailed, feature better paint jobs, and if I was at all objective, I'd have to admit that they're superior toys. If I had to search for any gripe at all, I guess I'd say that they're a little less "literal balls" than the originals were…meaning that the extra details and shaping made for toys that are ball-shaped, but maybe not necessary real balls. That's a pretty awful and transparent gripe, loaded with testicular innuendo, and I can't even stand by it two sentences later. Toss aside the rose-tinted glasses, and they're every bit as suave as the originals.

Looking back, it's easy to see why Madballs were so successful during their first run. While seeming to be a wholly unique product unlike anything else that entered a child's life, they certainly borrowed from many of the time's established toy trends. Like Garbage Pail Kids, they were neatly gruesome. Like Nerf toys, they were safe to hit people in the head with. My argument would be a little more solid with a third comparison, but I'm dry. Nevertheless, the original Madballs collection was perfectly suited for every type of small boy. If you were a hands-on sporty type who liked to run around and throw things at people, all was a go. If you liked to quietly build collections for display on an errant bedroom shelf, all was a go. If you fell into both categories, then all all was was a a go go.

Note that not every member of the original Madballs squad made the grade for a revamp. Chiefly missing is my personal favorite, Oculus Orbus, better known as "the eyeball Madball." Since the packaging for the current lineup is clearly marked as "Series 1," we can only assume that decent sales will lead to other dead Madballs being resurrected.

You can read more about Madballs on their official website, and don't think that I didn't notice the sheer cultural catharsis that comes with knowing that Madballs has an official website. I did, and it's awesome, and I'm forever at peace.

Oh, and while I'm here, I guess I might as well dust off a peculiar toy that I've been keeping in my special treasure box for a rainy day. It certainly fits with tonight's theme.

The original Madballs were no small effort, but at the same time, they were easy to craft on the cheap. This led to an incredible amount of rip-offs, imitators and bootleg collections. Many of these idea-swiping lesser-knowns didn't just steal the concept — they went straight for the original AmToy characters themselves. Check out the bad ball above, obviously inspired by the Screamin' Meemie Madball pictured way up above. Despite the cheaper mold, looser paint job and overall ambiance of crap, it was still a foam monster ball. In a pinch, bootleg Madballs sufficed just fine.

Plus, I guess it's cool that Screamin' Meemie has an understudy if someone with dirty hands comes over and wants to play with my Madballs. Not gonna sacrifice my top tier player when that blue-tongued shitball can fly right under the radar. So yes, dirty hands man…take my Madball. No, I mean the other one.

On an unrelated note, if TBS doesn't stop running those fucking promos for The Office where the guy who had head-sex with the mother from Six Feet Under keeps saying the "T" in "TBS," I'm not going to watch Family Guy reruns anymore.

Madballs! Finally you cover their resurrection! But I must admit that I don't know if I've ever had any.

I DO know I either had a ripoff or a later line of them, because one I can distinctly remember was made of rubber and shot some kind of booder missle from its mouth when you squeezed it.

Sorry for the double post, but to my fellow Brawl anticipators, I must show you all this piece of awesomeness:

The REAL Japanese Intro to Brawl! And it looks amazing!! (Plus…it confirms a few other characters we hope that they would return!)

I got excited when I saw these - or this one - at Toys R Us a month or so ago, picked it up as to purchase, and realized I didn't really give a damn about these things. I agree with Matt; there's something to be said for recapturing childhood. In fact, sometimes I think that many toys and entertainment companies are making big bank on many of us in our age bracket wanting to recapture those years. Not saying it's a bad thing, gosh no, just making an observation….

Madballs were too great NOT to come back. They were a toy you could always find a knock-off of in a pinch, like at a gas station on a road trip.

I too had some sort of Madball ripoff. But as I remember, it was pretty high quality. It was a rubber skull and shot a pair of dentures out of its mouth. It must be the same as Invader Norberts. Does anyone remember the name of these?

Aw, up until now I'd managed to avoid hearing about who Dwight was on 6FU (HBO On Demand left me hanging awhile ago). He really makes it with the mom? Last I saw she was working on rebuilding her foundations or somesuch. Oh well

My biggest "Madballs" memory is actually "The Madballs Gross Jokes" video. We rented that frequently when I was a kid.

Anyway, to continue a discussion from the previous blog entry, I think I've finally saw a PSA that outdoes the "Crack babies killing crack babies" one. It's from the "Truth" people. Just sit back and watch in awe.

Oh man! I didn't know these came back! One christmas My mom and dad bought me and my two brothers the deluxe madballs, a different one for each of us. I got the Football Missle one with the sharks teeth, my oldest brother got the Soccer Ball one, and My other brother got what I remember as a basketball. But I do remember my two oldest being jealous of mine. BEST CHRISMAS EVER!

Oh yeah, I also had the Cyclops figure, it was a little body with a Madball you jammed onto his torso. Whenever you pressed the button in the back, his head flew off.

"if TBS doesn't stop running those fucking promos for The Office where the guy who had head-sex with the mother from Six Feet Under keeps saying the "T" in "TBS," I'm not going to watch Family Guy reruns anymore."

How I miss TBS - we now get Peachtree TV. Yes, TBS Atlanta re-named their station Peachtree. Imagine a TBS which prime mandate is offend absolutely no one, mixed with various Atlanta weather updates and you got Peachtree. Not a clue why we get it in Canada…

I often use the word "mad" as slang for "crazy" or "very" or "a lot of". EX: "I ate mad wings at Hooters last week" (Note: I did…40). So every time you wrote "Madballs" in the preceding article, I giggled with the maturity of an 8 year old. But when you said "comes over and wants to play with my Madballs" I literally laughed out loud.

On a more related note, I'm pretty sure I have some Madballs somewhere in my basement. But my Mighty Maxes are right in plain view in my closet. I don't feel like digging out madballs tonight.

Oh man I need to get to Toys R Us tomorrow. I actually nabbed some Madball stickers and greeting cards a few months back. Should've seen it as a sign of things to come. P.S. whatever happened to the MIMP re-launch that never.. happened?

JLAJRC, uh… Do you think Truth has mixed cigarettes with acid? That fairy sounded like Tara Strong… O_o

Cool I thought I saw a madball on the floor of a Wal*Mart recently in the magazine isle. He was the baseball (when someone says madball thats the only one I can think of) He was loose though. Its cool to see one in the box. Did they come in packages in the 80's? I was never even aware of the knock offs. For all I know the ones my family had could have been the knock offs. No it was the actual one, but I think it was rubber filled with air not made of foam. How much is the new one? How much were they in 80's? I would ask my older brother but he is asleep.

Sick toys like this crack me up.
Another one you need to check out are Meanies. They are like Garbage Pail Kids mixed with Beanie Babies.
I have some pics of the ones that I had recieved here in Iraq on my myspace blog
http://www.myspace.com/benaugust
click on the blog entitled "life lessons from Meanie Babies"

Jester, Just went back and read all the previous articles about Madballs. Here are the names:
-Football–Touchdown Terror
-Basketball–Foul Shot
-Soccer–Foul Eater

Also, one thing that I thought was really funny in one of the older articles is that Matt mentions that his lack of baseball prowess when he was a kid earned him the nickname of "Easy Out". This brings back sore, yet funny memories for myself. I also was an "easy out", but in my defense, what I and no one else knew at the time, was that my eyesight's pretty bad, so I couldn't see the daggum ball till it was a couple feet in front of me. At least, that's what I'm blaming it on. Ironically, my step-mother at the time was an optomotrist, and ever since I've never had to pay for any contacts or glasses or anything. Luckity me.

Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever had any Madballs back then because they weren't allowed in my household, but I REALLY wanted some. I seriously think I might go out and snag one of these new ones. After checking out their website, I think these updated designs actually look much better than the old ones. Too bad about the eyeball one though. What's that all about? It may be 20 years later, but I'm not gonna get my hands on some Madballs, dang it! (Calm down, Brian)

I was able to snag some Garbage Pail Kids cards back then though, and I remember sneakily trading them with other kids during Sunday School in the back of church.

Something else I saw in some of the old articles too that I think I would have loved back then was all the other Madball products they made, like pencil top erasers (yes!) and coffee mugs. I'm a sucker for a fun coffee mug.

DJ D Thanks a million man, I could never ever remember what the holy heck my Madball was named. And after you have told me what their names are, I'm sure I wont remember tomorrow either. Although I do call my brother every year and gloat, that I had the coolest one. True Story.

Amen, DJ D ! My favorite coffee mug (which I actually use for tea since I'm a nicotine addicted fatass on the train to Hypertensive Junction) is one from Thinkgeek that has a caffeine molecule on the side.

I've been begging for a stormtrooper or Darth Vader mug for the last 3 Christmases. So far, no dice.

Jester, You know, there's nothing to stop you from calling him right now and just gloating away.

Captain Will, I hear you. I've had my eye on just a basic black mug with the yellow Batman signal on it forever now. Why I don't own one yet, I have no idea. I think I need to get on that. Maybe that'll be a goal of mine for the month of Feb.

Wow the detail on that ball…I went back about 6 times to go back and admire it. I love the crusty stuff around his eyes and nose. I might just have to get me one of those if I ever see one. I never had them as a kid I am assuming my boy cousins got to enjoy them though. Sucks being a tomboy growing up you never get boys toys to play with (heh) you always got girly stuff whether you wanted it or not. They thought I just wanted it because I saw it on tv. Little did they know my deeper interests.

File MADBALLS under the same category as BOGLINS in my book entitled "TOYS I ALWAYS REALLY WANTED BUT NEVER GOT PERHAPS BECAUSE I DON'T RECALL EVER SPECIFICALLY ASKING FOR THEM".

As for the rest of you, if you're anything like me, you often say to yourself, "My life would be a good deal better if I could just run over a bunch of velociraptors in a jeep." Well, brothers and sisters, have I got a teaser trailer for you.

Did anyone notice that the Madball website was run by American Greetings? That's weird, they must own the copyright to madballs.

2) You're in luck. Series 2 will feature Dustbrain, Swinesucker, Wolfbreath, Freaky Fullback, Oculus Orbus, and Blechbeard.

Ah! The trailer is blocked for me here at work, I'll have to check it out when I get home, but I'm loving a couple of these Raptor facts.

Raptor Fun Fact #21 - If you tie a bow around a raptor's neck, it might cause Christmas. Spontaneously.

Raptor Fun Fact #12 - The raptor's natural prey are soft human babies, which are made out of meat.

Raptor Fun Fact #42 - A raptor skin wallet is three times as practical as a ham wallet.

Not too sure how many of you have ham wallets, but apparently it's not the most practical meat based currency container on the market, might be time to upgrade.

I am amazed that a video game production company actually refers to a scholarly paleontological publication, as cited in the Raptor Safari trailer site (yes, I'm just anal enough (and have enough time on my hands) to google the original article by the two scientists from the Smithsonian and one from the Chicago Field Museum).

My bad - the two scientists were from the AMNH in New York, not the Smithsonian…

Ah, the Madball, how I love thee. After all, what kid would prefer a foot-ball, or a basket-ball over a MAD-BALL? Certainly not my eight-year-old self, nor any other friend I had.

Like liquidcross I am also quite jealous that you found Sreamin'Meemie. I ran across these at a Toys R' Us last week, but Meemie decided to be elusive and was nowhere to be found.

Great article though. Perhaps it will be the catalyst for me to jump on Amazon, or a similar site, and just order one of the darned things.

Oh, a last comment for Brian. 40 Hooters wings? 40 wings?!?! Yes, I do believe it can be done as I had a few friends in college who could down that many. I just wanted to congratulate you on your fantastically, fattening feat. Once, and only once, did I ever top the magic number of 25. The first 10 wings or so were heavenly, while devouring the remaining 15-20 hot-sauce slathered chicken parts was quite the challenge. Now, at 30, sadly the iron stomach I had in college is long gone. I think trying to consume over 15 or 20 Hooters wings today might actually kill me. Still, mmmmm, what a tasty way to go.

If memory serves me correctly I believe I had the Skull Madball. I stole it from the neighbors dog. I know that was shitty but then again I was a shitty little kid.

I don't know what I hate more, the TBS commercial Matt was referring to or Tyler Perry saying, "T BEEE S." Regardless, they both make me involuntarily stand up.

I gave one of these to my nephew, and he said it was scary and he didn't like it.

Magic Toy - I'm sorry…but I laughed really hard at that. Hahahaha, thank you. I am six years old.

And yes. 40. We went to Hooters not even knowing it was Tuesday/2-fer-1 night. So when our waitress informed us I jumped at the chance. I normally order 20 and inhale them. But tonight I was getting 40 for $14. Ohhhh it was glorious. Half mild. Half hot. 2 cokes.

Once the picture of it from my phone uploads to photobucket, I'll post the link. hahaha

Ben: I've always found the Truth PSA's to be ridiculous (but I do support their message). But the new one takes it to a whole nother level. The weird thing is that the tune is kinda catchy.

I may have had a few of the old Madballs. However, due to my utter lack of athletic ability and a complete disinterest in anything even remotely sport-related outside of pro wrestling, I don't think I played with them all that often. I'm an indoor guy at heart.

I have a couple of Meanies, Hurley the Pukin' Toucan and Otis the Octpunk. I really wanted Splat! the Roadkill Cat. When Kenner put out those Beanie-style Star Wars toys a couple of years ago, every time I saw Yoda, all I could think of was "May The Schwartz Be With You!"

Oh God. Madballs. I technically had one of those when I was 4 years old, but my dad liked it more than me. I was scared to death of the damn thing. He would tease me with it a lot.

Well, Smash Bros. Brawl came out in Japan, and already we got most, if not all of the total Roster.

-Snake
-Sonic
-Jigglypuff
-Ness
-Gannondorf
-Marth
-Capt. Falcon
-Falco
-Mr. Game & Watch
-Lucario
-"Toon Link" which looks like young Link in Wind Waker
-"Robot" aka R.O.B.

There's also a rumor that Wolf O'Donnel from Star Fox is in too, but no one seems to have any confirmation on this yet.

I ahd a ripoff eyeball one when I was in jr High. I loved it- it was all squeeshy, and a great way to relieve tension… squeezin' an eyeball.
yep.

I used to love Madballs, as they crept in just as a void was opening from Garbage Pail Kids, but the range always seemed fairly limited. I used to have Bruise Brother (my first one), Oculus Orbus and Lock Lips. and that was close to half of the range offered in the local stores. I did have a cheap knock-off that looked vaguely like Horn Head, but it exploded into fragments of rubber the first time we played with it.

23. December 23rd. Box 23. I can feel my world starting to be rocked yet again…

JLAJRC They play that commercial all the time here. They also show a website so you can get a free no stank you tshirt if you live in Washington. I got a tshirt alright. Oh I got one indeed. I guess I should of lied and said I was a male because the shirt I got was really small and a babydoll femme shirt. Very small like 5 year old small. I picked XL on the form. So what is this shit. I think I lied and said I was 18 because the shirts are for teenagers. It has a cool 80's design on it, neon pink and other neon colors on a black shirt. But what gives no stank you people this is a tiny shirt.

Still here… Though if the Easter madness is beginning already, I may officially go mad this time. Mad like Madballs!

Though… you know, for EASTER, they don't call it an ADVENT. They call it LENT.
*squee!s*

I used to have a purple plastic baseball bat that I believe was part of the madballs series. It was purple with this goofy madalls-esque face molded into it. Anyone remember that?

Brian, I just realized I said, "I'm NOT gonna get my hands on some Madballs." That was a goof. Let me be clear. I will most certainly get my hands on some Madballs. And I'll play with my Madballs all day and night. What do you think about that?

I loved Madballs. I loved to constantly throw them at my friends,lol. The one I remember most, but was not my favorite was the baseball one.

so….I had the screamin mee mee and my brother had Oculus…we also had a load of bootleg ones from the korean store at the local auction farm market flea market. There was an ugly football one that looked like the deformed nuclear diareaha faced bastard clone of Leonard Nimoy.

I saw these new Madballs at the local Newbury Comics and immediately was overcome with a flood of memories from my childhood. It took some serious effort on my part not to buy the whole set while I was there.

rainn wilson will always be arthur from "six feet under" to me. no matter how many overly precious lines he has in oscar nominated films!

matt.. - the creators have released a preview of "Series 2".. - not sure if you've seen it yet:

This is a really good article. Do you guys know that I-Mockery is running a similar piece? Your sites should have a contest to see who can come up with better Madball designs.

I hadn't seen the new ones of these, either, but I haven't been in Wal Mart in over a month. My sisters and I had a few small knock-offs we got out of vending machines, but by and large, we didn't really have many of the real ones. I don't remember why now - Mom may have objected to the sheer grossness, or maybe we just weren't that interested.

I worked at Walmart when they had a knockoff line of golfball sized 'screaming balls'. They were sold in packs of 6, and had contacts that activated sound effects when touched. Some screamed, others moaned, barfed, laughed, etc. They were close to the break room, so we heard them practically nonstop.

Also, I remember in Marvel Comics mail-in advertisements for 'ugly balls' with a blond haired, green hulk like character monologuing about the epic journey he would undertake to find them. They had a similar design to the baseball one, but with more stitches.

Madballs were awesome…I've definitely gotta find some for my kids. I don't care if they don't want them. They will get them anyway.

I had the wolfman madball when i was 6 or so… had the greatest smell, I never really played with it, just smelt it.

MADBALLS! Theyre the best. I recently purchased the entire series one set of 6 madballs worked on by the talented people at Art Asylum. I gotta say, Im actually impressed with these. Though, I noticed these were much softer and squishy foam than the originals. They share the same size and styling of the originals but with much better paint apps and detailed features. If youre something of a madball fan, i suggest you hop on these things fast. I hope they make ARRGH! and Oculus. I saw that the mummy madball and football helmet wearing madball was already in production. Im hopings series 2 shoots out soon.

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