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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

Cloverfrenzied.

Sorry about the lack of updates lately. I think my brain was going through one of those infrequent bouts of needing a long R&R period. Also, I was pretty exhausted after this year's Advent Calendar, and what was only intended to be "a few days off" turned into...well, however long it's been.

However! I've actually been working on a "real" article on and off for the past week. I generally don't do that, because if I can't knock an article out in one or two sittings, it usually means that I'm not really all that into it. I think I'm into this one, but I just can't muster the gusto to shut the world off for the six hours it'd take to finish it, polish it, publish it and be done with it. But, that'll happen sooner or later. It's a really dumb one, too. Something maybe 5% of you will be at all interested in. But hey.

This post is just my way of saying that I haven't been hit by a train or anything, but there's one other thing I should talk about before it gets too late to do so with purpose:

Went into the office today to kick off a couple of new gigs, which I was happy about for several reasons. One, I got to see my work buds for the first time in over a month. Two, this will eventually lead to paychecks. Three, I was starting to go a bit stir crazy. Four...I got to see giant Cloverfield billboards.


You know, I'm just going to come out and admit that I'm a total 100% Grade A Cloverfield fanboy, and have been since Day 1. I've only mentioned it once or twice on the site, but truth be told, I've been tracking this film like a teenaged loon, day in, day out.

Even if you haven't actively followed it, you've probably heard about the film's screwy viral campaign. I mean, if you're online a lot, it's been kind of hard to miss. I know many of you balk at the thought of such campaigns, and generally speaking, I'm with you: When it's vagueness in place of content and mystery in place of intrigue, that's a bad thing. I don't think Cloverfield falls under that umbrella, though. Having followed the madness, with its many fictitious personalties, faux companies, Flash websites and clues that lead to nowhere and anywhere, I'd feel almost compelled to buy a ticket to the film even if I knew it was going to suck. I've certainly gotten more than ten bucks worth of enjoyment just from the shit they've done to make me want to buy that ticket.

It's a little late to try to explain the movie's marketing to the uninitiated, but Christ, I can't remember the last time I was this amped up for something. I'm not just talking about the usual anticipation of a big movie: I'm talking about anything. Can the film possibly live up to the hype, especially for those of us who spent months digging around endlessly for every tidbit we could find?

I doubt it, but that's not going to be the movie's fault. Hell, I've had dreams about Cloverfield. Completely fleshed out dreams with swooping pans over black seas, towards magnificent shots of monsters-of-my-own-design. How could any movie compete with that?


On the other hand, I have a pretty good idea about what I'm going to see, and I can't imagine leaving that theater without wanting to see the film at least one more time. Cloverfield is going to be remembered chiefly for its marketing, but I don't think we're dealing with another Snakes On A Plane. It's a film featuring a giant monster that kicks the shit out of New York City in a totally unfriendly, uncharming and unforgiving way. No amount of bad dialogue or acting can hamper something that grisly or primal. And given some of the other "aspects" of the film that I'm pretty certain of, good God...it's gonna be visceral.

I'm not worried about having to eat my words. Like I said, the movie can totally suck balls. It doesn't matter. I've already gotten my fair share of happiness from it. Still, as someone who believes that there really isn't such a thing as a bad monster-destroys-the-city movie, my hopes stay high, and January 18th can't come soon enough.

That seems like a good segue into a survey: What are you looking forward to in the coming months? Doesn't have to be a movie. If you're getting a new car or something, that counts.

PS: Yes yes, I'll take down the site's Christmas decorations this week.

Posted by Matt on 01/09/2008. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 619 comments

DJ D: I pick it up at a health food store but I have seen it in the juice ailse.

Your’s truly,
The Ayatolla of Rock And Roll’A

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 01/20/2008 12:43 AM


Cameron T: I’ve been thinking the same thing, Matt, If you’re reading this, drop us A line and let us know you didnt get chomped by The Cloverfield Monster. NOM NOM NOM

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 01/20/2008 12:47 AM


Maybe Matt will give us a good review of Cloverfield…live, from the belly of the beast itself! I’m sure by the time he gets round to writing a new article he will have seen the movie.

I can’t believe we’re closing in on almost 600 comments on this thing.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 01/20/2008 12:53 AM


idrunk

Chestnuts roasted by ashley @ 01/20/2008 1:03 AM


I have a new topic just to keep everyone’s attention:

-What’s the oddest combo of items you’ve bought, even if they’re totally innocent on their own.

-or, for those of us who work in retail, what were the oddest combo of items you’ve seen someone else buy?

I rarely pay attention to these details myself, mostly noticing the 4 highest selling things at CVS: Cigarettes, other Tobacco-related items (cigars, nicorette, nicotine patches, lighters), Milk, and Home Pregnancy tests.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 01/20/2008 1:46 AM


norb: I had to give this one some thought.(automatically makes it an amesome topic imo)

Friday the 13th box set. Pokemon dvd. diapers.(I was babysitting.)

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 01/20/2008 1:51 AM


Im glad were all freindly again, its funny because I posted that comment about cloverfeild at like five in the am and was drunk, I didint even remember posting it. So it was kind of shocking to see the reaction I got. But yeah I would never spoil a plot, Im glad all is forgivin. I have not seen cloverfeild yet. But for some reason the thought of a Giant flea makes me laugh. Peace

Chestnuts roasted by Mortalwind @ 01/20/2008 1:53 AM


I totally took that survey from Fark.

And the 4 Highest-Selling Things at CVS? Totally in that order, not kidding. A little squicky here, but diapers are #5, either baby or otherwise.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 01/20/2008 2:00 AM


Alright kids, I’m off work and about to head home. I gotta go home and work on my computer and see if I can reinstall the operating system and try to get some kind of internet connection back. I think it just crashed on me last night. I’ll think over the Norbert‘s question and hopefully I’ll be able to log and give an answer. Wish me luck. Later.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 01/20/2008 2:05 AM


I hope DJ D gets his computer to connect to the internet again. That sucks when you don’t have it. It’s like not having uh, food.

I can’t remember Invader Norbert what my last weirdest combo of groceries are. I always get creeped out when I walk through the kids clothes section. I don’t have kids, and I am afraid people think I am a pervert looking at kids clothing! Like I am going to buy the clothes just to fondle them lol. Now that I am confessing that it sounds ridiculous.

I know when I was about 14 or so I walked up to Albertson’s about 8 or so at night (very rare for me as a kid to walk up in the dark to the store to buy something) and I bought a Simpsons comic (they were new at the time and there were only the Simpsons no spinoffs) and two butterfinger candy bars. I thought the cashier would of noticed the connection and I was quite proud of myself. Well, they just run up the stuff and put it in a bag. I was disappointed my cleverness was wasted. My Grandma let me go because I bought two candy bars and she was looking forward to getting the second one. She did.

Anyway change of subject, I just finished watching the movie Return to Oz. The memories flooded back so I thought I would share. I very vaguely remembered one part and when I started watching it I started thinking oh yeah! I totally remember that part! I am inspired so much I am planning on writing a blog article about it tonight (if I don’t do it tonight I’ll never do it)

Also the girl that plays Dorthy in this movie is the girl from the Worst Witch. Return to Oz is a Disney movie. I guess most of her child star career was built on making creepy disturbing twisted movies!! Return to Oz is definitely disturbing!! So I hope someone watches this movie thanks to me giving the link and talking about it.

Return to Oz

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 01/20/2008 3:05 AM


Well, I got the net up and running again, but I’m still having the same virus problems I’ve been having. I didn’t bother reinstalling the operating system. I just wanted to see if I could get a net connection. And I agree, not having internet access just sucks beyond words. Plus, my computer is 7 years old and is a total piece of crap. I can’t wait to get my own place and get another computer. I HATE using adapter cards and routers. I’ve never had a good experience with them. I don’t know if this is possible, but I’m sure I got a virus by way of router from my roommate’s computer. She’s got the same problem with her computer that I have and I never had this problem till I moved in here. Ugh!

Anyways, thanks Goob for the link to Return to Oz. I don’t know if this is the same one I’m thinking of, but I know they made a sequel to The Wizard of Oz with Faruza Balk playing Dorothy, who grew up to be a witch in The Craft, not to mention super hot, in my opinion. I’m sure I’ll get some disagreement on that one.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 01/20/2008 3:48 AM


Yeah, Return to Oz is Faruza Balk. I so love Return to Oz. It is beautifully twisted compared to the original.

The Wheelies still give me the creeps and for that they have my infinite loyalty.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 01/20/2008 4:04 AM


I’m glad your computer works now DJ D If I could buy you a laptop I would. Or just clone this one and send it to you. It’s about 3 years old but works pretty good nonetheless. It’s an HP.

My best friend just bought a big nice fancy laptop he wanted to use it when he works but it’s so big and fancy it’s too bulky (he is a security guard he works in a truck) so he mentioned using this one at work and giving me his new one. Fine with me, he said the only thing he doesn’t like on it it doesn’t have built in bluetooth.

We share everything that is why he isn’t bothered by giving me such a generous gift. We got each other backs through everything :)

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 01/20/2008 4:19 AM


Knegative, Yeah, I totally agree. It had a few things going for it that the first one didn’t. And the wheelies were indeed pretty darn creepy. I like that the queen had all those interchangable heads.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 01/20/2008 4:19 AM


I’m trying to decide if my next one’s going to be a laptop or not. I’m not sure yet. I actually kind of prefer desktop computers over laptops. I know one thing though, and it’s that I’ll never buy another Compaq. I’ve had nothing but problems with this thing since the day I got it. Don’t know why I haven’t just gotten round to getting another one yet. They’re kind of relatively inexpensive now.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 01/20/2008 4:26 AM


I can’t believe there wasn’t a new thread tonight.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 01/20/2008 6:03 AM


Well gosh, FUCKING nothing happened on the internet last night. Good thing I decided to sleep through it.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 01/20/2008 6:09 AM


dohopoki, Yeah, that was a bit of a dud. Well, I’m off to bed. Goodnight folks! Or, good morning for you non-creatures of the night. Time for me to go crawling back into my coffin and sleep till sometime later this afternoon.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 01/20/2008 6:48 AM


Norbert, I used to work the night shift at a ‘convenience store’ in town and would work every Friday, Saturday and Sunday because no-one else would. So, the amount of 3-4am, nightclub closed singles who couldn’t pull a girl would come to us as the only place open in town.

I once got threatened by a guy holding a cucumber, but that is another story. Weirdest combo from the store was a guy in his 30s who struck out at a club who bought marmite, toilet roll, hot dog style finger rolls and a ‘top shelf’ magazine. There was also the 14-year-old drunk girl who didn’t like the price of condoms so bought rubber gloves and elastic bands, and seemed proud of her money saving.

Goob, brilliant timing for mentioning creepy children in movies.

Kneg, the wheelies rocked – I wanted to be a wheelie.

Chestnuts roasted by Guise @ 01/20/2008 9:44 AM


Norb: A few years back I worked at THD. One of my regulars told me on July 4 (I think it was), he was making up a list of stuff he needed for his barbeque and his projects.
His list was: 2×4′s, rope, gas tank, and flame starter.
He was a white man, he said when he saw the list he sent one of his spanish friends out to get everything.

Chestnuts roasted by mindy @ 01/20/2008 10:00 AM


Guise said my name and brilliant in the same sentence. About fuckin Goddamn time I get the recognition I deserve! :) Goin’ 2 bed.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 01/20/2008 10:23 AM


Okay…anyone out there with Wii’s…when you go to the Check Mii out Channel…go to the posting plaza…if you happen to see a Mii of James Lipton made by pika23 vote for it please….i made it last night. I’m tired of the same dam things getting all the votes.

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_Reeves @ 01/20/2008 11:19 AM


Fairuza Balk was the hawtness as a teen, in the cult classic, The Craft… Also featuring Neve Campbell, going from over-clothed (due to her character having scars or birthmarks that she was ashamed of, that were cured by witchcraft) at the beginning of the movie, to exposing plenty of herself towards the end…

Chestnuts roasted by Old Jim @ 01/20/2008 1:12 PM


DJ, I always see Pom drinks refridgerated at the grocery near the produce section, along with stuff like Naked Juice and the organic drinks and smoothies. You know, the hippie drinks.
Would condoms have really been that much more expensive than gloves and rubber bands?!? I would love to have seen the look on that girl’s partner’s face when she made that cost-saving proposal :lol:
Norb, it’s not quite the same topic but your question reminds me of why I sometimes get nostalgic for the year I lived in Palm Springs. The local population is mostly gay people and older retired people (and a even few gay retired people). Surprisingly, I noticed both groups had similar shopping habits; usually people would be buying small meals for just one or two people (compared to soccer moms with huge carts full of food and screaming kids, like I see here in the burbs). The only difference would be that the gay shoppers would usually also have a few entertaining extras thrown in as well: gossip rags, box of condoms, chips and dip, huge bottle of run and two dozen limes, that kind of stuff. You could tell they had a fun time planned is what I mean, as opposed to the elderly people, where sometimes you worried if the poor oldster had anything to occupy his time beyond microwaving his Hungry Man dinner.
Weren’t they ALL hot in The Craft? I don’t know if I’d have assigned the “super hot” mantle to Faruza (I’d reserve that for Neve, and maybe Thurgood’s-girlfriend-from-Half-Baked) but she’s definitely foxy in her own way.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 01/20/2008 1:31 PM


I guess the weirdest combo of things i’ve bought lately was condoms, whipped cream, and a wedding magazine. hilarious to think about out of context….I needed condoms because the fiancee and i were down to the last one, and i HATE babies, the whipped cream was actually not for recreational use, but for pumpkin pie on thanksgiving at my parents house, and the wedding magazine because i am getting married in october and my mom is constantly hounding me about planning it, so i thought that for thanksgiving we could peruse the god damned magazine. i hate planning this wedding…

Chestnuts roasted by Leigha @ 01/20/2008 1:32 PM


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