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12/23/2007: Appetizers, Christmas Crackers, M&M's, yadda.

I don't think I've ever been so busy leading into Christmas Eve, but I remain confident that the Holy Spirit will guide me through all of the cooking, cleaning, wrapping, Advent Calendar entries, clothes washing, tree trimming and cat hair removing bullshit that simply must be accomplished within the next twenty-four hours.

The Advent Calendar has been updated for 12/22 — thanks for your feedback on that one in the previous thread, as the entry was the end result of 247 pictures, whittled down to 57, many with special effects that look bad but still take me forever because me and Photoshop are like, sworn enemies. It's always interesting when the Advent Calendar hits its home stretch, because frankly, the site's readership drops waaaay down around Christmas, and you start to feel like you're the star in one of those ill-advised "empty arena" wrestling matches. Meaning? Your chatter is appreciated!

The photo above is for posterity's sake more than anything else, because there are few sights warmer than 700 presents under a Christmas tree, especially when it's my Christmas tree, and I think it's the kind of thing that I'm going to want to look at again in the coming year.

The woman and I had agreed to take it easy with our presents this Christmas, trying to avoid our usual tradition of trying to outdo each other by giving the most gifts. We're gunning to go back to Disney this year, but since we won't let ourselves do that unless it's at the ridiculously expensive Polynesian resort, we wanted to give our wallets a break in the hopes that we could save save save.

All was going fine and dandy until two nights back, when she rather victoriously pranced into the living room holding a pile of presents nearly as tall as she is. Well, fuck that. I quietly returned to my computer and pretended to be catching up on the latest Scoville scale pepper rankings, when in reality, my ass was all over Amazon playing catch-up with their gloriously cheap overnight shipping option. I think I did okay. Not sure if this is a good sign or a bad sign, but pretty much everything I bought her is something I fully plan to steal and use myself.

I mentioned in a previous entry that we're hosting Christmas dinner for her side of the family this year, and this gels perfectly with my lifelong search for an excuse to buy a 100-pack of the hors d'oeuvres shown above. It's the little things in life.

I can't wait for everyone to marvel at how pigs in a blanket, potato puffs and spicy beef turnovers all manage to taste exactly the same when broiled at the last minute in an oven that already contains too many things to allow for equal heating. I'm of the mind that no holiday is complete without its fair share of oily, gloppy appetizers, and these are arguably the standard.

We have a fair amount of people coming here on Christmas, but I'm still not sure if there will be enough mouths to successfully eradicate a 100-pack of these breaded bastards. Perhaps I'll offer twenty bucks to whichever guest manages to eat the most in a ten minute window.

The interesting thing about hosting Christmas dinner is how you find yourself needing to go food shopping for like 12 days straight before the big day. Every night, we remember some odd cheese, drink or party napkin that is absolutely essential, and every night, we bumrush the nearest supermarket hoping that they haven't sold out. That was the case last night, but what was only intended to be a soda pickup turned into something far more special: They had packages of "Christmas Crackers" with 50% markdowns, and there is just no humanly way to avoid a deal like that.

If you've never enjoyed the miracle of Christmas Crackers, here's the general scoop: Small, cardboard tubes are neatly wrapped and stuffed with a cheap toy, and apparently loaded with some kind of low-performing gunpowder, as when you pull them apart, they split open with a loud, smoky bang. The toys inside are almost always crap, so it's that loud, smoky bang that constitutes as "the fun part."

Our original plan was to set one Christmas Cracker by each of the kids' dinner plates, but as I'm no stranger to the suckitude of CC toys, something told me that it'd be a good idea to see just how bad the prizes were before announcing them as a special holiday surprise. And boy, I'm glad I did that, because there's just no way any of the kids would've responded to these toys with anything cheerier than apathy or outright tears. See below.

Pens! Pencils! Cheap plastic rings! And…a ponytail holder? It's a good thing that newspapers don't run on Christmas, because a story of this magnitude would've been a call to stop the fucking presses. This stuff is awful! Even if these toys gained the ability to speak and were pleading with me to save them from a nearby fire, I wouldn't give them a second glance. And that's coming from someone who dreams almost nightly of toys gaining the ability to speak and trying to convince me to save them from fires.

Thus, opening these early has effectively saved our Christmas party. I can only imagine what the reaction of some of the six-year-old boys who will be in attendance would've been had they popped open their Christmas Crackers to find a ponytail holder inside. Even by my teen years, I was crying over less.

In lieu of Christmas Crackers, we're just going to give all the kids animal-themed party plates. They won't erect statues in our honor over this, but at least nobody will kill themselves and help boost Christmas's false reputation as being a time for increased suicides.

Mandatory Christmas Party Item #556: A bowlful of red and green M&M's. Doesn't matter if anyone eats them. They need to be there. Did you know that M&M's used to sell the special red and green-only bags under a different moniker without the familiar "m" markings? It's true, and actually, it wasn't all that long ago. I guess that's not a very interesting story, but a trivia bit is a trivia bit.

When I bought the M&M's shown above, I thought they were the peanut versions. I didn't read the fine print. They're almond M&M's. I feel so disgusting. Nothing against almonds…but they ain't peanuts.

I hope everyone's having a great, long holiday weekend. I'm off to unravel the mysteries of Box #23. If you're heading off for family time and won't have Internet access for a few days, thanks for being a part of the site's holiday season, and though you are not responsible for it, I'd also like to thank you for peanuts because I love them so much. Will try to post another blog on Christmas Eve…stay tuned. Stay merry.

James Lipton is goddamn fucking awesome!!! He is the new hero of the advent calendar. We all new he was something special, we just didn’t know that it was because he has goddamn fucking flamethrowers in his hollow, tube like arms.

A bit off of the James Lipton trail, anyone else a fan of Chainmale? I hope he kills someone before he gets taken out. I don’t want him to go out like a bitch…

And now, a little something regarding this blog post: I love the minty red and green M&M’s. I eat like, fifty bags of them every December… That’s all I got.

I'll be around off and on the 24th and 25th, but rest assured that your efforts are much appreciated, Matt. Can't wait to see how the Advent Calendar all wraps up. Though I have a sneaking suspicion it involves Kuse, a shower, and Pam Ewing.

Im nursing a pretty bad back injury and havent been able to get around to doing many christmassy things this year, but James Lipton makes it all better, merry christmas matt.

Matt, in the crackers picture what the heck is the bobbled-tentacled red flower-bear thing, I'm not seeing three gifts laid on top of one another am I?

As for unravelling Box 23…edge of the seat (and occassional falling off) stuff. Top class. What do you plan to do to the BatRib pages after you've put an entry in there though?

If "The One Who Will Save Us" is anything but a Lego Chris Jericho, I will be sadly dissapointed.

Just thought you'd appreciate this Matt.
My name is Nicholas Noel.
Nicholas as in "St, Nicholas" and Noel as in "The First Noel". I've even got the two dots above the "e".
And to put the icing on the cake, for the last 5 years I've worked as Santa.
Hopefully that gives you a laugh

Holy shit I am eating peanuts RIGHT NOW. Motherfucker get out of my head. Or stomach, maybe.
Get out of my belly.

I love red and green M and Ms and all, but I dare to wonder how more perfect they would taste if they were the crunchy style. We dont have those down here in MD. I guess they slowly died away.

Good God, Xmas crackers!!! Those havnt existed in our lil part of the states in ages, I have very vauge memory's of being terrified of opening those things, the popping scared me, and I was like 11….. I shouldnt share that information.

I remember when M&Ms went on the sly during the holidays as, well, "Holidays." That was back when debuting a new M&M color was like finding a new chapter for the Bible.

Thought I'd make my post on the new thread since it is halftime at the Bears/Packers game (Bears are leading 13-7, but they've been known to collapse in the second half). It's been blowing snow flurries and heavy winds here in Chicago. Never expected to get Christmas weather like this. I haven't read all the way through the Advent Calendar so that may be my project for the next couple days, well, more than likely all night tonight after I get back from the Hawks game. Oh yeah, I went out trying to look for some Christmas Crunch and the Jewel Osco I went to was closed due to a power outage. It's so weird not being able to find it when I saw it on-post back in Texas! I should have gotten it when I was down there. Oh well, and I STILL have not found any Pomegranate 7Up in either Chicago or Texas. Oh well, there's still tomorrow and now it looks like I will have to look for that SweetTart squeeze as well. Anyway, good to be back in the Windy City, which now is truly windy. Hope everyone else is enjoying this time of year! Will be back later!!!!

I should try to get a screenshot of my Knack and Kuse I made in Lego Star Wars : Complete Saga. Also, whatever happened to Mare's brother, Mark?

I just want to say, I think X-E is the only thing that could have saved my Christmas spirit this year. Christmas has obviously taken a backseat to recent events in my life, but this post, especially the picture of your huge pile of presents, has injected the spirit right back into my veins. I have almost no time left to enjoy random Christmas crap! I need to run to Target and get myself some Christmas candy and butter cookie tins, and stocking stuffers!

I'm shocked that no one has asked the question that immediately sprang to my mind looking at the "Christmas Crackers" photo; what the HELL is a "Mystery Calculator"??

Just letting you know Matt, that I'll be sticking around here though the Christmas Holiday. For me this is probably the most exciting thing this time of year.

Matt: Think you can tell us how the party went? I wanna know if you had that big punchbowl of eggnog with the moose-mugs like in Christmas Vacation.

I was wondering about the calculator too. Whatever it is, I like the sound of it.

Since nobody else has pointed it out, could the following dialogue be a dig at the pre-release hype for the final _Harry Potter_ book?

TRUDY: And that just leaves us…and you. How does it feel, tiger? How does it feel to be this year's token major character death?

CAROL: Sorry, Tigerboy. This war has built waaay too much suspense to wrap up without somebody offing at least one major character. We elect you for this honor

Good point, Somew Weasely those could be digs at what towards the end of the HP series seemed like killing off major characters just to make a point. However, other shows do that as well, anything penned by Joss Whedon, Lost, and Heroes. Truthfully I find it a bit annoying.

Also Matt, unfortunately it seems you attract loads of college students, and other folks who seem to go home for the holidays, to places with little or no Internet access. Don't take it personally!

Matt, don't think for one second that we don't appreciate the advent calendar!! I've been reading since the inception and it has steadily gotten more and more hawesome. My fam isn't opening gifts until Dec. 27th so my nephew can be here, so i will be here (when I'm not cooking). So just because we occasionally act like ungrateful little bastards, it doesn't mean we don't adore the adventure of our plastic people, or your Herculean efforts to singe their faces off.

Thanks so much Matt for making December feel more like Christmas. Reading the daily calendar updates is the first thing I do when I get to work in the morning. Although the mystery behind that calculator is going to keep me up at night.

They still make almond M&Ms? They kind of disappeared around here awhile ago. Not that I care, since I never ate them.

I just did my Christmas shopping today. I got everything in under an hour.

Not as busy as you would think it would be today.

Tonite were doing our annual tradition of going to Benigans on my birthday. It pays to be born around the Christmas season.

I'll probably be around. I really don't have that much else to do except go visit my dad for a couple hours on Christmas Day.

JLARC Bennigans? Did you say Bennigans? I used to love that place, unfortunately most of the restaurants around me have gone out of business.

This may be the first Advent Calendar I'll make it through in its natural year. I always would end up finishing the last few days in January, but I should have regular access to the internet this year.

You are welcome good sir ! =) I would like to thank you as well for the advent calendar, your posts and pretty much everything else. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas !!

Heh, I was just looking over the Advent calendars of the past and came upon this from the 1st entry of 2003, which was the introduction of Mista Snowman:

"What good is a "Mista Snowman" if he can't attract wild hares while smelling the clean winter air? Is this a roaring start, or a terrible omen?"

What I love about hors d'oeuvres that come in a box are the descriptions. Like 'Vegetable Bites': 'Three hand picked, homegrown succulent vegetables, wrapped in a trio of creamy, hard-to-pronounce cheeses, encased in a feathery, crunchy yet smooth pastry shell'. And then you take a bite and realize that the box they came in probably tastes better….

but seriously…. that was the single greatest moment of any advent calendar thus far. I was waiting patiently for james to make his move and that really came out of nowhere.

just want to say thanks, Matt, for making the world's most entertaining christmassy story ever in the history of the internets. i def. will be logging on to read the grand finale of this year's saga, so add me to the throngs who are chanting, "thank you thank you" and "lipton lipton" and maybe even "kill the rabbits kill the rabbits!"

Funny that you mentioned the Scoville scale. Until a few days ago i wouldn't have known what it was. But the other night at a party i had the misfortune of eating the hottest pepper in the world measuring at over a million on that scale. Least i can say i've done it right.

I like the M&M idea though. Always do the black and orange halloween ones. Must pick some up tomorrow. Minus the almonds.

I hope you decide to go to Orlando in early March. That's when I'm going and I will totally hook you up with an awesome cast member discount if you allow random strangers to come up to you and compliment you on your ability to make James Lipton a sympathetic Advent calender character…

I have to disagree on one of the Cracker prizes - that little paper plane would be fun. At least until the cat caught and ate it.

I'm another that's going to be here, at least until I get my new apartment key after Christmas, and I'm loving the AC. I am wondering, tho, with all that party work you're going to do, Matt, when are you going to have time to work on the final entries? I'm just wondering, ’cause my relatives like to monopolize all my time even if its to not actually *do* anything.

I really can't believe we're actually in the home stretch. Merry Christmas everybody!
Good luck with the party and all, Matt. This year's Advent has probably been the best ever, which is saying something, to say the least.
I've never actually seen crackers for real. Harry Potter has obviously given me an inflated impression of the quality of the prizes.

I've always liked getting deli trays for Christmas. I mean we always have a big dinner or course, but I also like having those trays to pick off of while the main meal is being cooked.

We tried the mint M&Ms by mistake and I have to say that I love them…mostly because the taste is so intense that I don't keep grabbing handfuls.

I'm actually reading this site more BECAUSE it's Christmas. It's the most Christmasy thing in my day.

Matt - It looks like you're going to have an awesome party! If I lived anywhere near you I would swing by dressed as an elf and eat all your goodies! Elves love almond MM's. Speaking of elves, where are Santa's elves this year? That lazy fatty is all concerned about opening the advent calender, but isn't spending any time in his toyshop, no toys for Box I guess.
Well, Merry Christmas everyone!

You're lucky you can just run out and buy a ton of junk on Christmas Eve at all. Most people are tapped out by then. You most earn some serious bread at Nick (and I've suspected the plight of Kuse always being at work is autobiographical).

Just wanted to mention how much I enjoy all the Christmas stuff around here and the Advent Calendar. I was actually worried that Lipton was going to bite the dust when I read 12/22 (I may have even actually said "No! Please don't kill James Lipton!" out loud… thankfully nobody was around). So, him saving Tigerboy was awesome.

Hope you are able to get to Disney again, Matt! Your Disney Adventure series is among my favorite X-E articles ever. I am not sure how you'd expand on it for a sequel, though. Maybe call a cab and take a sidetrip to Universal or Seaworld?

Yay Matt! Thanks for an awesome season. I hope you got your Christmas fill and will be pumped for HALLOWEEEEEEN next time around. Merry Xmas, XE

Sorry, forgot to mention…look at the image next to it's link on that page. Bloody Rabbits!!

Wow, it feels weird to be posting on the non-Box 23 thread. Anyways, I wanted to add that I'm one of those people that are going to be here through Christmas. Even if my day's been super busy - exams, driving an hour to Sooke and an hour back every day after work, etc - I always make time (usually replacing sleep) to read the Advent, the Box 23 thread, and any posts that you've put up. Without it, I wouldn't be feeling Christmassy at all, just rushed and stressed out. So thank you, thank you, thank you Matt, for saving Christmas - and making me laugh my ass off for the whole season. You, sir, deserve a fucking medal.

On a less sappy note, what the hell is a mystery calculator?! And should I mention that every year my family has crackers at Christmas dinner, and every year we (including the adults) are totally entertained by whatever we find in there? I remember one year being especially pleased with a set of mini screwdrivers. We also put on the stupid paper crowns, and try to see who got the same colour. God, my family is sad. Oh yeah, and we read out the horrible jokes that come in them, too. Should we be going to a support group for this? Like Christmas Cracker Appreciators Anonymous?

Those aren't pigs in blankets, those are just sausage rolls with the ends cut off! Real pigs in blankets are wrapped in bacon.

Matt How much do you want for the little blue plastic reindeer keychain from one of your crackers? If you autograph it with your first name, I am willing to give you five whole dollars for it!!! Would that cover the cost of your crappy crackers???

Also, oh my god, I loved those mini-screwdrivers. They were actually useful and came with those cheap plastic coloured handles.

I just got an early present from my mom, she got me Natural Born Killers uncut edition. It's one of my favorite movies, so I was pleasantly surprised.

ULTRAMAN
Is it wrong that the first thing that came to mind when I read your comment was a really bad circumcision joke?

Just going from the pictures, there are two things the little Greek in me was forced to notice: Is that owl Beebo from Clash of the Titans? And are those triangular things in that 100 pack of hors d'oeuvres a tiropita? That's a Greek specialty: layers of baked filo bread with some kind of cheese inside. To me, they are more like crack than dolmades.

Dude, your Advent Calendars kick ass. Except for the year you never finished it anyhow.

Hell, it inspired me to do my own photocomic, that is still running, though erratic in schedule and I haven't touched the main story in a good 3 months…

Hmmm. maybe tomorrow after my cousin's Christmas party I can do up a Christmas special in tribute?

Old Jim it is'nt wrong at all that that was the first thing that came to your mind. X-D

I agree, nothing beats the sight of a Christmas tree with presents underneath it. Our tree is all set up, too. And it took just nine hours …

As for the advent calender - I was a bit worried James Lipton might die but now I'm grinning because he just became a whole lot cooler.

mmmm. Egg Nog and pumpkin ice cream all swirled together. My about 5,000,000th time in a row.
Can't help myself

Here's a question: how long do you guys leave your Christmas trees up? I take mine down on New Year's Day.

Guise- thanks for solving the mystery, I like how that site even mentions it came from a Christmas Cracker!

I got the M&M thing going on too. The ones that decorate my place are plain, chocolate mint, and came in red, green and white.

Ah shit, that's what I get for writing a super long post and then not checking before I actually post it. Well, thanks Guise, at least the mystery's solved now!

I'm glad that you popped the mystery on the Christmas cracker thingies, Matt. I've long wondered about them, but have never gone out to find any. I'm glad to know I'm not missing much.

We take down our tree around Epiphany (or the second Sunday of the New Year). So, since we set it up the first weekend of December, we get a good month+ out of it.

I myself have been finding excuses to shop for more "stocking stuffers" for my family but I finally finished tonight. I'm also in Chicagoland and I can confirm what BJ said about the winds–nasty nasty nasty. So much so that my boyfriend was supposed to fly out of O'Hare to see his family two days ago and had his flight cancelled for the second time today. So good luck, peeps, if you're flying anywhere! I hope you're able to make it out. He's going to try again tomorrow…

Annette: We always leave ours up until at least January 2nd, mostly because of some long-dead relative's declaration that it was bad luck to take it down earlier than that.

Our tree is a beast, so we tend to procrastinate about taking it down. Last year I believe it stayed up until February, and one particularly lazy year we actually left it up until after the following Christmas.

I'm with you, Matt, I too am hoping a Christmas miracle will get me off my ass to clean the house up for the guests we'll have on Christmas day. But it doesn't look too likely this evening. Well, there is always tomorrow, and I work better under pressure.

And to mirror what everyone else has said, the AC this year is beyond great. I can't wait to see how it ends. I'll be here for Christmas, and who knows, I may actually post.

I really appreciate the advent calendar and can imagine how much time & effort it must be. I'll be checking it every day till the end. I bought the princess advent calendar for my kids back before this year's advent calendar began so it's been fun opening the boxes everyday and then going to read your advent story afterwards.
Not sure if anyone else gets CBS on their cable but they just got done with the Muppet Christmas Carol (I think I've watched that like 3 or 4 times already in the past few weeks. I love me some muppets!!!) They're going to show the Mr. Bean Christmas special again at tonight at 7:30pm followed by National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation!
I also thought of getting Christmas crackers this year and found some websites that handmake really cool ones for you…or if you're really motivated and order the cracker papers soon enough from the few companies that sell them (but they sell out REAL early!!!), it's possible to hand make your own real ones! Maybe I'll do that for next year?

Anette: I usually don't take mine down till the last week of january, In 99 i didnt take it down until april.

I keep my tree up to the Feast of the Epiphany also. We also always has the wise men start on the other side of the room and not make it to the nativity until the feast. My roommate thought I was nuts the first time I put them up on the book shelf, and the nativity on the coffee table!

Matt, I vote you pick up 'Photoshop Quickstart Guide' its easy to follow, lots o' pics and I still pull mine out occasionally for technical questions.

Right now me and the husband are gonna eat Gnocchi and then either play Mario Galaxy or watch The Bucket List starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman on a certain site that for legal reasons remains unnamed.

Anyhow…Matt love the hor's deuvres! we get those every year at new years eve! and thank you for the most awesome scrumptulescent advent calendar yet!

"it is as if god is smiling down on you and says 'you are my most wondrous creation'"
quoting will ferrel as James Lipton

I was just randomly surfing through flickr, and found this.
It ties together X-Entertainment memes of both bunnies and chia pets.

There was one year my ex and I's tree didn't get taken down until June, which was the point at which I was tired of looking at it. Ever after that, if he wanted his childhood Star Trek ornaments up, he had to put them up his own damn self.

So sad. I dont even know why they make those, I dont know of anyone that likes em.

Christmas Eve is iffy right now (I may or may not be going down to North Cape May for a few hours to eat dinner with the family there before they move into this new house that's been driving them all insane), but I should be around Christmas morning and night. (I'm getting together with the other side of the family in the afternoon.)

My mother will probably have red and green M&Ms at her house when we get there. She is a chocoholic, but she's also diet-crazy, so she takes her chocolate in small bits. I doubt she'll have peanut, though.

I don't know. I say give the crackers out anyway and hope the kids pay more attention to the bang than the toys.

And the Advent…my god. James Lipton has flamethrowers for arms. You are a genius.

My tree also goes down on or after January 6th. It's a nice way of celebrating the Epiphany. I also live alone and it takes forever to put up and take down when I'm by myself.

Mike: Not less in December (actually the best month overall, probably)…but shoots down on C-Eve and Christmas just when the AC is climaxing.

I've been checking in everyday for the advent entries and you're doing fine job Matt! Merry Christmas!

I'll be on a trip from Christmas Eve until after New Year's–I'm going to have to track down a computer for a few minutes just to see how this year's advent-ure ends.

Matt, thanks in advance for another great year–James Lipton is my new goddamned fucking hero. Enjoy hosting the family madness!

Completely unrelated to everything, but I have to wrap a fucking lamp, with shade. And as awesome as it would be, I don't have a crate to put it in.

Any advice? I would just put it in the living room tomorrow night, all set up, but it's a table lamp and we have cats. Our living room has overhead lighting only, for a good reason.

How about getting one of those big gift bags, jazzy? Either one of those regular paper ones, or a big plastic one meant for bicycles that I've only seen at the Dollar Store in recent years.

Matt,
I've never posted on here before, but I've got to say, that Lipton piece was remarkablous! I just wanted to get that in before it gets too played out. Man, i've been following this thing since high school, with the first Mare. You HAVE to keep this going. It's one of my favorite parts of Christmas.

Matt, I can't even tell you how much I appreciate your Advent Calender. For the past few years, the sole reason I've gotten any sort of holiday depression(and I'm absolutely sure of this) is simply because the Advent Calender is over, and I realize I have to wait another year to catch up on these characters I grow so attached to for a month. Some would say I'm far too emotionally invested, but it's as a credit to you for managing to hit this schmuck's heartstrings so damn much. I hope you treat the toys well in the off-season. And I hope you have a Merry Christmas(keep the gluttonous Italian Christmas spirit alive, it's the only way to go).

I just have to say, thank you for helping to de-crapify what's leading up to be a rather sucky Christmas for me with the awesomeness that is the Advent Calendar.

Matt I have a question for you. Does it feel weird that your hosting Christmas? I mean, you just assume your going to drive someplace for Christmas. But this year your actually having to make an effort and your buying food and things for other people so they can come to you for Christmas. Does that feel weird? And does it feel like it's going to be a real Christmas or are you worried it won't feel like Christmas, it'll feel phony?

I think it would feel weird for me, but like you are going through right now I am assuming, you take it as a mission to fix all of the things that other people have screwed up in past years. You want the Ultimate Christmas get together! I bet I would try to be a Martha Stewart type and bake like Christmas cupcakes for everybody with their names on them, and stuff like that. Buy one of those decorate your own cookie (or figure out how to make them myself) packages for all the kids and a few extras for the adults. And alot of rice pudding with raisins in it. Maybe a rice pudding bar where you have a roll cart with tubs fill of the plain pudding and toppings choices. I have heard of Oatmeal being served that way in stores, why not rice pudding?

And of course, Matt I appreciate most of all the picture special effects you do. I dabble in paint shop pro, and I know how frustrating it can be. I have been known to make avatars for people, and it can make you want to rip your hair out. I regularly make videos for youtube as well so I know how that stuff can suck until it's done.

And usually my Granddad puts out one bowl of Christmas m&m's one bowl of mixed nuts (which my cousins pick out the cashews of because they are inconsiderate like that sometimes) and one bowl of bagged chex mix. Nothing with any actual food in it that has something that could be part of a dinner. I don't think they even put out crackers and cheese.

Just got done reading 22 and all I have to say is James F'in Lipton. I did not know that Sam Jackson was playing the part of Lipton this time around. Get these f'in giant Mares out of my f'in house. Awesome. I nominate him for the title of Director General.

chatter. I've been reading for about 7 years, since Robert Berry's Jack Chick tracts. Your writing is very much appreciated.

i love this time of year, i love halloween more but i love xmas
i still wish i had a tree, but being jewish and all…
but seriuosly what happens is i forget about this site till halloween or xmas, then come back and be like "wow, i really missed alot"
but its been great reading all this stuff matt, i dont know how you do it, i personally hate writing
happy holidays to all
and hows chia?

However, I have to say, the entire 4th quarter has been excellent. For, the spookiness started around October 5th and every weekend between then and halloween I was watching classic horror films. After Halloween, I went into Christmas mode. With November being "pre-Christmas" then after Thanksgiving, full up, balls to the wall Christmas.

The 1st quarter is going to suck after my three months of goodness. January is going to be a let down.

I'm a couple weeks late on this topic but since I just got my first popcorn tin of the season I have to say it: the cheese corn does deserve the biggest section. No question about it.

And like everyone else has said, Matt, the advent calendar, and you, are beyond awesome. Thanks!

Just wanted to say that I love the Advent Calendar!! I love your whole site, but the Advent Calendar is the crown jewel. Every Christmas I look forward to seeing what Knacks, Kuse, and Mare are up to. Mista Snowman and James Lipton crack my shit up too. Roar!

Well you know something Mean Gene, I've been kicking back the past few day in Venice Beach brother, laying on the beach, riding the Harley around, pumping iron at Gold's Gym. But I've been hearing the rumblings around town, brother. The rumors of some pencilneck geek having flamethrowers for hands, dude. Then I hear the Hulkamaniacs all around the world are looking at this guy and thinking that might be the way to get strong. That you'll be the man by getting flamethrowers for hands. Well let me tell you something brother, the only way to live is to train, eat your vitamins, and say your prayers, dude. So, James Lipton, you snot-nosed punk, I'm coming for you, brother! These 24 inch pythons are going to rip you limb to limb and then all the little Hulkamaniacs around the universe will know that saying your prayers and taking your vitamins is the only way to go, brother! So whatcha gonna do, James Lipton? Whatcha gonna do when these 24 inch pythons and Hulkamania run wild on you?

Can't wait for the rest of AC! As I said previous blog…James Lipton is the muthafucking Man…of LEGO.

I'm off work til wednesday and I have this to say: I hate people. Customers, mostly. And boy, was today's batch stupid as hell.

Speaking of Lipton, I'd say that he would love a Mystery Calculator. Also weird: It's bilingual. The mystery is probably solving fractions in French.

Just wanted to say thank you, its hard enough to host christmas party but to do it while running this awesome site is just something else. So thanks for all your hard work it really has made my holiday a lot better so THANK YOU!!!!

You are definetly getting better and better at this Matt, which is amazing since you've been at it so long. Reading your site is a high point of my day. If that's sad, I don't care. You rock man.

Thanks for the comments, guys.

#23 won't be up until after midnight. It's even longer than yesterday's, and it's taken me since 6:30 or so just to build the images out. It is…pretty wild.

Reading this year's calendar has been awesome. James Lipton's arms were hilarious, and with all these secret pages I keep finding, it gets better and better. There's a huge amount of depth here, I think.

Long time first time here. If you want Christmas chatter and support, who better than the constant lurker?

What has made this year so magical anyway? 2007 is definitely the Year of X-E, and I don't care what anyone has to say about Halloween being a megaflop.

Well, I had a great birthday today. The Peppercorn Bleu Cheese Pita Burger was one of the best things I've ever eaten at Beningans. Did some quick Christmas shopping. Got some good gifts (dominoes, gift certificate, cash).

From all of us to you Matt, Merry Christmas! Thanks for all of the hard work you put into this site and making it a haven for all that is obscure and almost relevant to Christmas. The advent is awesome this year!!!

I'm okay with Legotron and I loved Claire. Outside of that, I have no loyalties. Only animosities

Thanks so much for sharing your Christmas spirit through this website. This is my first real working holiday season, and it's leaving me with too little time and too much fatigue to really get into the baking and the shopping. I've been really bummed out because I feel like I've been missing the Christmas season while I'm stuck behind a cash register. Not really sob story of the year, I know, but it's been getting me down on a personal level. However I wanted to let you know that I always look forward to coming home and checking out XE. The Advent Calendar and your blogs and articles have really buoyed my Christmas spirit and kept it from totally sinking. Thank you and Merry Christmas!

And I want to add my thanks, again, Matt, for all your hard work bringing Christmas cheer to us all.

On the subject of Box, during last year's advent calendar, was I the only one who thought he was going to metamorphize into the new Santa?

Matt,
Thanks for keeping me in the spirit and building the cheer for another holiday season. I am a paramedic with a two year old girl, and have to work all day Christmas. Your site helped with the holiday blues big time. Hope all the best to you and your's, and all your web fans! Merry Christmas everyone!

God I am so pissed right now. There has been snow on the ground and it has been cold all month. I was ecstatic at the thought that it would be the first white christmas in years. But then today, the temperature jumps up to 50 degrees, it starts raining and within 2 hours, the half foot of snow just melts away, along with my dreams of a white christmas.

Sorry for complaining, but I just had to vent this to someone, and i thought no better place then people who appreciate this stuff as much as I do.

Happy birthday, JLAJRC!
Can't wait for #23. Hard to top #22, but I don't doubt it will.
So I finished up the very last of my shopping this afternoon, including a stop at the bakery for some tamales (yum!). I've been enjoying all the hustle bustle, but I'm relieved that it's over with now. We already spruced the place up to the background sounds of The Simpsons Movie, so all that's left besides whatever I've forgotten is a bit of wrapping and to enjoy the rest of the Advent

That sucks Chris. I can't imagine Christmas without snow. It just wouldn't feel the same.

I'll definitely be checking out the Calendar on Xmas Day itself — my only clear memories of high points from last year are the Doctor Who special on TV in the evening, and reading the X-E Calendar in the morning!

Those cracker toys in the photo actually look pretty good to me — I'm in England, where they're much more of a standard part of Xmas dinner than they are in the US. And the "toys" tend to be made form a single lump of plastic, like a comb with about a dozen teeth, a frog that "hops" if you push on its flat, tab-shaped tail, a virtually 2-D old-fashioned car in profile (I have never known what use, if any, these are meant to have) or a jack. As in, little 3-dimensional asterisk-looking thing you'd use to play jacks if you were a child and living 50 years ago. But you just get the one in a cracker — maybe you have to wait over many Xmases, saving until you have enough jacks and using the rubber bands the paper crowns are wrapped in to make the ball? or, maybe the crappy plastic toys are just there to sit around and remind you that you're wearing a flimsy paper crown in case you're going out?

I know I'm being a Scrooge this year but I needed to say Happy Birthday to JLAJRC.

And Merry Christmas to everyone here. Yeah…..I guess I love you guys. So what? Ya wanna fight about it?

Matt
I've said this before, but thanks again for all the work you go through to put these things together. It has definitely been a big part of my Christmas this year, especially with my going to Lubbock (when I don't really want to)…

If Tigerboy dies so help me GOD I will dress up like him as a tribute. He is my favorite character in this or any story. Hopefully he has some badass power!

They call me Heatmiser
whatever I touch
starts to melt in my clutch.
I'M TOO MUCH.

I'm Mister White Christmas
I'm Mister Snow
I'm Mister Icicle
I'm Mister 10 Below

Friends call me Snowmiser
And whatever I touch,
Turns to snow in my clutch!
I'm too much.

I never wanna know a day that's over 40 degrees
I'd rather have 30, 20, 10, 5
And let it freeze!
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Man I love the Snowmiser song. Sorry Heatmiser, I think you used to scare me a little.

I can't do my second verse until someone is kind enough to post as Jangle and say that he dropped his tv.

Find someone else, I refuse to acknowledge that piece of BS remake that was called "The Year Without A Santa Claus." as dumb as that special is, The Rankin-Bass version rules all.

The thing with crappy remakes is that they've taken the idea of not remaking the good stuff, but remaking the crappy stuff. Unfortunately, as my theory would've supported that a remake would've made the crap better, it turns out that a crappy concept becomes a crappy remake.

I never wanna know a day that's over 60 degrees!
I'd rather have 80, 90, 100 Degrees!
You think I like it hot? I REALLY like it hot!

I never wanna know a day that's under 60 degrees!
I'd rather have it 80, 90, 100 degrees!

The original is crap except for the misers anyway, so it doesn't really matter if the remake is unwatchable. They made the awesome part even better, and the worst even worse. Par for the course.

So I was just watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer for the first time this year (and maybe 37th time overall) and something just occurred to me.

The residents of the North Pole are pretty damned lucky that Rudolph was such a good sport about how they shunned him early in his life and that he was still willing to save their asses later on. If he were a more bitter reindeer he would have had the perfect origin story for a reindeer super villain.

Damn, you got me Kneg! I'm not as awake as I should be right now.
Now, sing the whole "Believe in Santa Claus" song from the same special! I bet you can do that!

And I agree with that ending Magic Toy, but MadTV basically beat you to the Rudolph's Revenge ending about 5 times over a good 10 years ago.

I'm here, and I appreciate the entries. =) I'll be spending Christmas alone, so you have at least one reader who will be around. ;D

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Leviathan is gonna haunt my Christmas Dreams now. Thanks a bunch, Merry Christmas. I'll be here for Xmas and Xmas Eve.

Did you just happen to have a giant bunny costume laying around, or was this a special purchase for the occasion?

Special purchase, thereby making those the eight most expensive pictures in the history of the site.

Okay, so given what we know about Leviathan, why is he a rabbit here? Is it kinda like the Black Parade, where death comes for you in a given form based on your proclivities? Hare is a rabbit, so she sees God (and in this case, Death) as a rabbit? But then why would Kuse see it as a rabbit? Wouldn't he see it as, say, Jabba the Hut?

No, I'd have to say Galactus is closer, as a rabbit wouldn't be the most harmless thing any of that group could think of. Even if you're arguing that it was spawned from Hare's thought patterns, her schema of rabbits would involve conceptions of strength/righteousness/power, which fits the Galactus argument best.

We wrre excited to find the mint holiday M&Ms here this year. We used to get them, and mix them in a bowl with the regular holiday ones. But for years it's been disappointing to see the red and greens, and realize the only holiday thing about them is the colour. So this year we have a mix of holiday mint, holiday dark (that's new to me!) and holiday peanut. I'm not big on teh peanut ones, and the mint ones are larger than they used to be, so I have to keep checking to make sure I'm taking a minty one and not a peanut.

Well, like an idiot, I posted an excited '23rd is up' post on the previous blog entry. LOL, I didn't notice that that was a giant rabbit costume - I just assumed is was a big stuffed animal or something. I think this makes it 78% creepier.

You really made my Christmas this year. Three cheers for Matt! And benevolent bunnies!

I just finished reading entry 23, and all I have to say is AWESOME !!!!!!! Nice job Matt.

Dang, that was awesome. I've been reading these calendar stories since 2003 and they just keep getting more awesome. I always read them on the 24th and 25th, too. Screw family time, I've gotta read XE.

Knowing you were in a costume to portray said giant bunny god - damnit, my ass fell off and rolled away!

Like a couple of other posters, I'm in the UK, where it would be strange to NOT have crackers. The fun is in the pointlessness of the presents inside, and the more inappropriate the better : having a shaved head, I always get the comb…
Don't get excited about the 'Mystery Calculator' : it's just a series of 6 cards with loads of numbers printed on them; to cut a long story short, you get somebody to pick a number, then use the cards to 'guess' what that number was. Quite clever the first time you see it..but after 30 years….

I was really expecting Leviathan to be Ralphie Parker in his bunny suit that Aunt Clara made.

I was half expecting a cat myself. Giant rabbit is way better, of course. I think the image of Hare peeking out of that fuzzy white fist is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Oh Ariel, that's a bummer your going to be alone for Christmas. If you lived around here I would at least buy you a burger or something.

For some reason my best friend wants a lasagna so we'll try to see if the Olive garden is open tonight. And then hopefully he can afford to take us out again on Tuesday night and we can get a small steak with some fries or something. That's basically his Christmas present to him and myself. He also said that he wants to get me a present or two at Walmart (our Walmart in town is a Super Walmart and it's open 24/7) before he gets home from work in an hour. He works from 5pm to 5am and his days off are usually on Mon and Tues anyway and from what he told me he's getting 8 hours pay even though he would of gotten those days off anyway. I love his new job! They also gave him a 100 dollar gift card to a big mall nearby for a Christmas bonus. I have no idea what he is going to spend it on, they have a gamestop or a store like that in that mall so probably a couple xbox 360 games. We both want one of those dvd player/dvd recorders that plays divx movies because we both download movies so much in divx format. That would be so sweet to be able to play movies on a tv so easily. He bought me about 2 weeks ago a 50 disc dvd spool and I am slowly going through them now. I have burned 3 discs so far. Tonight I downloaded South park the movie so Merry Christmas to me!! What can make Christmas better then songs that have a lot of swear words in them? Goodnight/Goodmorning all this will definitely be my last post. Merry Christmas Eve. And in my Advent Calendar I was looking through all of my open doors and I missed Dec 18th! So I got two chocolates. They are about 2/3rds the size of a Hershey Kiss.

Since I have to go to my grandparents now, I just want to wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Best Advent Calendar Ever!
Keep doing what you're doing Matt!
Merry Christmas to all!

Another vote for best Advent Calendar Ever!
James Lipton with flame thrower hands rocks… I can't stop laughing.

Oh Awesome, Awesome, Awesome. Totally makes my Christmas Eve. I was having trouble getting in the spirit, but this totally did it.

Happy Christmas Eve everyone. And holy giant bunny costume. All of this excitement going on in advent world and we haven't even gotten to the unveiling of Santa yet. This is going to be a pretty quiet year for him. Giant bunny gods rule. Thanks Matt for all the work.

Hey Matt. I really just wanted to say thank you for keeping all the Christmas stuff going. This year has been kind of hard for me, and keeping up with the advent calander always cheers me up. Have a really great christmas, and thanks for working so hard on this website.

Merry Christmas Eve!!!! I'm taking this time since the house is empty to catch up on my Christmas Specials and play some Christmas albums. Of course, playing "The Chipmunks Song" at least four times in a row does get a bit tiring. Oh, and I'm a bit upset that our old record player that we inherited from my grandma's house does not play old 45 records. It has the setting for all the old record speeds, 16, 33, 45, and 78 but other than 33, no other speed works. I found that out the other day when I found an old 45 of "St Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion)", tried playing it on the player and it gave the old slow 33 speed. That really sucks because I was so looking forward to hearing my old Peter Pan Children's Christmas records from my youth. Oh well, thankfully we have enough 33's to fill that loss. Yes, I do know what CDs and MP3s are, but when it comes to a holiday like Christmas, there's nothing like the old fashioned sound of the holiday coming from a good old record player. Of course, Christmas records are the only records we have that are in good shape, I guess since we didn't play them as often throughout the year as our other everyday records that are scratched up.

Anyway, family is of course going to be occupying the house. My sister and brother-in-law come in from Omaha, Nebraska. Going to have our usual Christmas Eve dinner with traditional Polish entrees even though I don't really like Polish food (I keep trying to convince myself I was switched at birth and I really belong to some Italian family because I love Italian food and can't stand Polish food). Well, I guess that's why my mom is making Chicken Kiev so there's some dish I would even eat. Tomorrow is Christmas Morning Mass and the 26th my mom got tickets for "A Christmas Carol" at the Goodman Theater. I already saw two variations of the story (Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol and Mickey Mouse Christmas Carol) and even trying to read the classic Dickens story before I see the play.

Well, I better get back to my Christmas marathon. Still haven't watched the big ones except Grinch (Charlie Brown's Christmas and Garfield's Christmas, two CAN'T MISS Christmas Specials) so I better get back to watching. Will be back on later, but if not, Merry Christmas!

Well, my cat got his Christmas gift early: a free night to sneak into the living room -where he's usually not allowed; damn ninja cat- and 1. destroy the Christmas tree and 2. 'mark' the room as his own, if you get what I'm saying. Damn teenagers; always wreaking everything.

An hour later, the tree is back -with only a few ornaments tossed into it because I didn't care to look for the hooks in the bowels of the tree- and the smell is mostly gone thanks to the power of good cleaners and fancy Gla-Day (think about it) candles. Merry Christmas, Winston, hope you enjoyed it, you little bastard you

The 23rd! Holy shi*! Like Brandon, I too wish there was a way to give a standing ovation on the Internet. Awesome.

That was a bunny costume? I thought it was just a giant stuffed animal. I also thought it was cat at first.

My own ninja cat did some sneaking out of her own recently, and she's been missing a few days now. I'm still hoping Santa might grant my Christmas wish and bring her home soon. Preferably before my mom comes home from vacation in a few hours, that would be best. Maybe I should try asking Leviathan, he seems a reasonable sort.

Magnificent! Great from start to finish. Now my favorite part: the fun fallout from the final battle. I love the AC, but its always nice to bask in the afterglow as Knacks and Kuse's lives get back to "normal" and Christmas gets back on track for another year. Can't wait to make my way home on the 25th to relax with all the presents, tv and wii and read how the gang is gonna spend the next year. And how are they gonna keep the house?

23 was great great stuff!!!! Like I said before, I'm real busy with having a new baby, but I always make sure I take time out just to check the AC! Now I gotta go and re-read 23, so much fun!

AWESOME!!! I've said it before, I'll say it again: BEST! ADVENT! CALENDAR! EVER!

Thanks Matt. You continue to bring a lot of goodness and happiness into the holiday season.

I am dying here. #23 actually lived up to the hype! It was like the Tim Tebow of Advent Calendar entries!

You know an AC entry is completely awesome when it brings the lurkers out of the woodwork, like the 23rd's has done, in only a couple of hours, and on Christmas Eve, no less!

Gotta get caught up on the Advent Calendar (21-23). Don't worry, Matt, the people are still reading.
Merry Christmas…Eve.

Merry Christmas, Happy Kwaanza, Happy Winter Solstace, or whatever holiday you all celebrate!

(I was going to wish a Happy Hannukah, too, but then I realized it's already over… Oh what the Hell, Happy Hannukah too!)

My dogs got their Christmas gift early. My mom got them a stocking full of doggie treats but they ended up getting their paws on them and ate it all up, stocking and all! Despite them being old dogs and 15 and 13 years old, they still manage to get into mischief!

This was the best Advent Calender EVER!! I laughed out loud at the giant bunny, and my husband gave me the weirdest look when he saw what I was doing. Matt you do a damn fine job!!!

***Pens! Pencils! Cheap plastic rings! And…a ponytail holder? It's a good thing that newspapers don't run on Christmas, because a story of this magnitude would've been a call to stop the fucking presses.***
Unfortunately, newspapers do run on Christmas. At least the greedy, corporate, soul sucking ones do. In fact, the one I work for is never closed. Because the old ladies would just drop dead of heart attacks if they didn't get to read the obits one day out of the year.

Yes. "The Great Bunny Reveal" of 2007 shall go down in history as filling all X-E-er's -lurkers, regulars, adventurers all- with terror and awe. Giant rabbits from Jupiter, a benevolent bunny god, James Lipton with FUCKING FLAME-THROWER HANDS. And lo, it was deemed the farking awesomest advent calendar ever.

Ditto to every other comment about the unrivaled amazingness of this year's calendar. I'm just grinning like a retard that there are two more days to come. Thank you!!

I think I just shat myself. Where did you get that bunny thing from, Matt?! Christ!

It's pretty safe to say that the '07 Advent Calendar has officially, awesomely exceeded all expectations of hilarity.

I just had to chime in again to tell Manimal how much I loved that last comment. Now get that file out of your footlong hot dog.