X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment UGO
X-Entertainment is still feeling pretty bad about those lobsters.

12/19/2007: SweeTarts Mystery Squeez Slush, and a Whoville Christmas tree!

Holy Mary, we’re getting dangerously close to Christmas. It really kinda flew by this year, didn’t it? I’m getting the feeling that a lot of people just want it to be over and done with, but I could go for another 2-3 weeks. This may be the first year that I make a genuine attempt to forgo my usual post-holiday blues and try to extend the Christmasness until the actual end of December.

Growing up, I always felt a little dirty and ashamed after Christmas. I’d always spend December thinking about nothing but presents and our family’s big party, completely neglecting my schoolwork to the point where it was a given that my grades were going to be total shit for the winter quarter. My notebooks were always a giant mess throughout December, and I’d pretty much dog it on every test and homework assignment until the holidays were out of my system. By 12/27 or so, it’d hit me: Christmas was over, school was coming back, and I had a shitload of work and explaining to do.

Obviously, living as an adult in the real world taught me that such attitudes don’t fly, but I still always feel like I’ve done something wrong when Christmas finally passes. Or maybe it’s just that there’s a void when you can no longer live through your tinsel and trees. Or maybe January just sucks. It’s cold, it’s decidedly non-merry, and I waste around 5,000 checks because it takes me at least three months to remember that the year has changed.


I can’t believe that I’m only just finding these now, without any prior knowledge that they even existed. These extremely cool SweeTarts “Squeez” bottles are 100% Christmas, bearing holiday tributes both in design and flavor. I’ve seen a ton of candies with a vaguely North Polian twist, but this one may trump ‘em all. “Mystery Squeez Slush” caters to two very important markets: People who want a little holidayness in their candy flavor names, and people who don’t want to know what they’re eating. I consider myself a card-carrying member of both of those markets; thus, “Mystery Squeez Slush” is my new god.


If you’ve never had a SweeTarts Squeez, they’re essentially half-sized toothpaste tubes, filled with sour-flavored goo instead. Though I expected the “mystery” flavor to be something negotiably within the Christmas palette (Peppermint, maybe?), it’s actually a lot closer to lemonade. Lemonade doesn’t have much to do with Christmas, but then, neither do SweeTarts.

I’d also like to take this time to draw attention to the ice blue touches on the packaging. I absolutely love how ice blue has entered the secret club of acceptable Christmas colors. Red and green are nice, but sometimes, situations call for a color a little less pupil-dilating. Every time I see something in this shade of ice blue, I feel like I just took a shower.

Thumbs up! As far as special holiday editions go, this one clicks on all cylinders: It’s got the Christmassy packaging, a limited edition flavor with ties to Santa, ice blue highlights, and the perfect size for stuffing a stocking.


Hey, remember that Charlie Brown Christmas tree replica I wrote about last year? Well, Urban Outfitters is at it again, this time with the “Authentic Whoville Tree,” from Dr. Seuss’s How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Since it’s already a few dollars cheaper than Chuck’s older model, I guess my initial reaction was on the money: A Whoville tree probably isn’t iconic enough to drive anyone batty with joy.

The novelty tree is around two feet tall, with the correct bunch of stringed ornaments, curvable branches, and a perpetual drooping tilt. The only problem is that…well, if I didn’t tell you that it was a Whoville tree, would you have known? Maybe, but most wouldn’t: They’d just think it was an ugly, misshapen fake tree picked up from a closeout outlet. That’s not the kind of impression I want to make for twenty bucks, so it’s fortunate that I have no friends and nobody will see this thing on top of my wall unit.

I exaggerate. I consider the UPS man my friend. And maybe the casino host at Bally’s.

Click here to see the Whoville tree’s big cardboard box, or here if you’re interested in buying one. They’re especially nice if you have an errant corner shelf just waiting for the right objet d’art. We don’t have such a corner shelf, but I like it well enough anyway. It’s kooky. Slanted trees are kooky!

The Advent Calendar has been updated for December 18th. Yes, I realize that this is the 19th, and I’ve only got four hours or so to stay on deadline. Joke’s on you: The entry for the 18th was posted well over twelve hours late. I’ve already missed one deadline, so there’s no sense in becoming reliable now. I’m free to cavort with the other procrastinators and party till my eyes water. See ya in Hell, suckers!


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Bookmark and Share


Discussion Thread: 327 comments

1 ... 5 6 7

Oh my god, Mista Snowman to the rescue, topped by James Lipton throwing flames from the cavities of his arms.

Priceless!

Ghosted by Tresjolie9 @ 12/23/2007 3:21 AM EST


I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I went ‘Noooo don’t kill Tigerboy!’…but much less by the ‘HOLY S***!’ several panels later! :D :D :D Did not see THAT coming! :D Great work, Matt!

Ghosted by Moony @ 12/23/2007 3:30 AM EST


DOOF

Ghosted by Luap @ 12/23/2007 3:36 AM EST


aww I was just coming here to just say “DOOF”. PLAN B

I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight!

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 12/23/2007 3:38 AM EST


Freakin’ awesome! I *knew* Waiterbot would have to go up against Santa X, too bad he went all Wimpybot tonight. And Mista Snowman was saved BY MAGICAL CHRISTMAS-CHARRED SANTA! THANK YOU BABY JESUS. :)

I hope Leviathan will disapprove of these offerings and kill Hare instead.

Ghosted by hobbitsubculture @ 12/23/2007 3:42 AM EST


oh my fucking god i love james lipton.

Ghosted by Leigha @ 12/23/2007 3:51 AM EST


James Lipton fucking rocks… my new hero

Ghosted by SerialPsychosis @ 12/23/2007 4:37 AM EST


That truly WAS remarkablous!

Ghosted by ChibiSoma @ 12/23/2007 5:10 AM EST


“You wouldn’t stab a guy with glasses, would you?”

Heh.

Ghosted by Fungusmungus @ 12/23/2007 9:14 AM EST


…into goddamned fucking flamethrowers.

We so have to make a ‘top quotes from this year’s advent’ list…

Ghosted by Shuanfu @ 12/23/2007 9:31 AM EST


Goddamned fucking flamethrowers is the quote of the goddamned fucking century.

I haven’t commented much, but this year’s advent is the most amazing thing on the Internet in a long time.

Ghosted by M.Fireball @ 12/23/2007 10:00 AM EST


It’s Sunday morning and I’m getting ready for Church….James Lipton? Fucking Re-fucking-markablous! Flamethrowers from the hands!

Can’t wait to find out what the hell happens on Box 23…

Oh, and I hope Knacks doesn’t die. :(

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 12/23/2007 10:26 AM EST


Cameron T. – Please try to use the phrase “Fucking Re-fucking-markablous” at least once during church service today OK?

Yeah, I hope Knacks doesn’t get an infection in his broken ass.. poor little guy thrown out a window like that.

FM

Ghosted by Fungusmungus @ 12/23/2007 10:52 AM EST


It’s official, I want an official XE James Lipton Youtube page. He just surpassed Waiterbot as BEST CHARACTER EVER!

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 12/23/2007 11:04 AM EST


Hey all, sorry I haven’t been on here. It’s not that I can’t get online down in Texas, I was just very limited in my online time since I was going to an Internet Cafe all the time. Anyway, long story short, I’m back in Chicago for the holidays. Going to the Hawks game tonight and taking of all people, my mom. Of course today is the rematch between the Bears and the Packers so I’m ready for that. Been trying to go through my Christmas DVD list as best I can. Finally saw He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special. It was okay but I was upset that the Sorceres wasn’t in it, and Cringer didn’t change into Battlecat. In fact, Cringer was only in the background and had no real active role in the episode. Well, it’s getting dangerously close to Christmas so I should pop in my “Must-See” Christmas Trilogy which is, “Charlie Brown Christmas”, “Garfield Christmas” and “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” Okay, I usually watch the original “Simpsons Christmas Special” so I guess it would be a “Quadrilogy” instead. Anyway, that’s my little update from my part of the world. Once again, sorry I’ve been so quiet so I thought it’d be a good time to make myself known!

Ghosted by BJ @ 12/23/2007 11:20 AM EST


James Lipton is my new god.

Ghosted by jazzy @ 12/23/2007 11:50 AM EST


I just read 22.

Now I’m gonna read it again!

Ghosted by Bluejay @ 12/23/2007 12:00 PM EST


Wow. Just wow. What is there left to say, that hasn’t already been said? Curse my non-nocturnal nature that prevents me from being awake when the new calendar entries are posted! Anyway, good work, Matt, and keep it up!

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 12/23/2007 1:13 PM EST


As much as James Lipton kicked ass in 22. I think we’re all overlooking Mista Snowman’s best line ever

MISTA SNOWMAN: You wouldn’t stab a guy with glasses, would ya?

GOLDGUY: You’re not wearing glasses, snowman.

MISTA SNOWMAN: Ah shit.

Ghosted by Dan @ 12/23/2007 1:17 PM EST


Simply amazing, Matt.

Ghosted by Annette @ 12/23/2007 1:40 PM EST


Dan I know…..mista snowman cursing…..hell perhaps just froze over. hahaha

Ghosted by Leigha @ 12/23/2007 1:53 PM EST


Dude. That is OFFICIALLY the first time in my life I’ve ever spontaneously shouted “Go James Lipton!”

This year’s AC is pure awesome spread on a Ritz cracker.

Ghosted by Blake @ 12/23/2007 2:16 PM EST


That was truly amazing.

Ghosted by Rainbowfeet @ 12/23/2007 2:22 PM EST


I’ve got to say, that I didn’t see the plot twist of James Lipton having flamethrowers in his hallowed out arms coming. Nice one !

Ghosted by ULTRAMAN @ 12/23/2007 2:23 PM EST


Have to add my accolades for this year’s AC. I didn’t expect this type of story playing out, but it’s quite exceptional. I’m wondering how it’s all going to tie together. It reminds me of the many serialized action/adventure/fantasy shows of my youth.

I keep imagining a soundtrack in my head. Something fully-orchestrated, like a John Williams-style score, with repeating motifs and dramatic musical cues for each twist and turn the action takes. Except with more Jingle Bells.

Ghosted by Frostor @ 12/23/2007 2:32 PM EST


*DOOF*
That’s the sound of me falling out of my chair at the awesomeness of the AC!!!!
Thank God I found a computer with access to the internet! It is a Christmas Miracle! :-D

Ghosted by DarkSideofBrightness @ 12/23/2007 2:39 PM EST


HOLY CRAP EVERYONE IT’S BOX 23!! The epic-ness is blowing my mind! Leviathan! Hssxxlllo! James Lipton using those flamethrowers! Hare’s insanity! Everything, everything, everything!

*breathes* Okay, I’m calm now.

Ghosted by Frakkyfire @ 12/24/2007 4:00 AM EST


1 ... 5 6 7

Add A New Comment!