X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment.com A Proud UGO Affiliate
My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

Snow Business.

We found out late last week that Christmas dinner was going to be at our apartment this year. For the woman's side of the family, at least. I hope this doesn't necessitate of a slight curtailing of the usual amount of alcohol downed at my family's party on the Eve, but even if a little voice told me that it did, I'd probably ignore it.

I was completely fine with this turn of events at first, but I think that was just blind optimism. We've gone from having a casual stroll through the holidays to needing to write up gigantic lists while hopping from grocery store to grocery store trying to pick up the little necessities that always seem to sell out when you're trying to obtain them a week before Christmas. What, does everyone on the planet need plastic cups? Can't anyone just use real glasses? We would, but I don't think I want to make her family drink from my collection of Star Wars Burger King cups, or those frosted Batman Forever McDonald's mugs. After all, it's Christmas, and Christmas isn't about watching everyone fight over who gets to drink from Two-Face.

So far, the biggest bone of contention between us has been over what we're going to serve. Her family's tastes are very American, while I was brought up on gluttonous Italian Christmas dinners where no dish is complete until it has incorporated at least three ingredients that will offend half the people at the party. Take the stuffing, for example. She's of the mind that we should keep the stuffing simple, and dare I say, of the Stove Top variety. I could live on Stove Top all year long, but on Christmas, stuffing isn't complete unless it's got sausage marbles, apple chunks and raisins peppered all over it. And keep in mind, I hate raisins and apples in stuffing. It's just the way it has to be. I mean, if I wanted to eat Stove Top stuffing for Christmas, I'd make my car run out of gas near a Holiday Inn on the morning of the 25th.

Still, I'm kind of excited about doing it. It's the first time we've hosted a major holiday party, and as host, I'm at full liberty to correct the many things my own family has clearly done wrong for so many Christmases. For one, I plan to have Christmas music blaring throughout the entire soiree, no matter how much it drives everyone nuts. For two, eggnog will not be something that just sits sealed up in the refrigerator as a lark until I finally find one or two lost souls willing to have "half a glass" with me. No, this time, I'm putting out the freakin' bowl and I'm going to stare down everyone at that table until they discover its true glories.

And if you're pressing me to come with a "for three," let's go with this: Christmas specials on the television throughout the day.


I mentioned our little snowstorm a few entries back, completely forgetting that fact that many of you live in climates that have completely precluded you from ever touching the funny white stuff. I can't imagine that. I feel for you. Fortunately, some two-bit company from someplace or another has seen fit to deliver us from the evils of snowless societies with a little kit that will let anyone create and play with a substance that, on a stretch, passes as actual snow!

The "Super Snow" kit consists of a little baggy of magic powder, and if I were you, I wouldn't try bringing it through airport security. By stirring even a small amount of powder with a few ounces of water, an icy, sticky and sopping wet mass of snow-like alien gel will form!


If the process sounds exciting, I have some evidence to disprove that: Check out this video, and note how even the most hard-driving action music couldn't save it from being the most boring two minutes in YouTube history. Then again, it's not the process that we came for...it's the reward.

As you stir, the water and powder will join hands and transform into a white blob that looks sort of like really clean oatmeal, and incredibly, it works very much like real snow: You can roll a snowball, make little snowmen, and if the mood strikes, I'm pretty sure that you can eat it without dying.

In reality, the substances used to make this "instant snow" are borrowed from another purpose. The snow gel is actually more often used as plant soil in dry areas. I'm not making this up; it says so right on the back of the package. Then again, the back of the package also claims that Super Snow can be used at parties, weddings and festivals. They may have taken a few liberties. Sure, it could be used at a wedding...but for what? Did the upstart tradition wherein man and wife consummate their contractual bond by making fake snow together somehow escape me?


All in all, I was really surprised at how well the stuff worked. I was expecting a gloppy, powdery mess, but the faux frost really does feel like the end result of some foreign utopia's ten year research expedition. I really can't think of a single way to improve the stuff. It's not poisonous, it looks like snow, it feels like snow, and it's kind of shiny. Those are the four hallmarks of any item worth purchasing.

I found my Super Snow in an actual store with real doors, but it looks like there are plenty of online options. True, it might be a bit late to be ordering the stuff for Christmas, but I think snow is safe to enjoy in January without anyone telling you to get over yourself.

The Advent is technically up to date so long as I put #18 up before midnight. Vegas odds never favor me, though. I've got a few others things that need to be covered before Santa arrives, lest I be left with a big plastic bin of "stuff to write about" that has to rot in the closet until next Christmas. Maybe another blog entry later today? Vegas says no, but we'll see.

Posted by Matt on 12/18/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 150 comments

1 4 5 6

Carol anyone?

I would.

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 12/19/2007 5:11 PM


Just to let everyone know I posted some XE links over at MIXX.com It would be cool if some regulars, went over and voted them up. So more people can experience THE WORST GAME ROOM EVER, and other such gems culled from the archive. By the way I got dibs on the chocolay goodness ass tattoo!

Chestnuts roasted by Mortalwind @ 12/19/2007 5:20 PM


I have a full set of those Batman Forever mugs,2 Batmans for some reason.If any mug would be fought over it was always the Riddler,then Two-Face and of course Robin was always the last choice of anyone.

Chestnuts roasted by Sonny @ 12/19/2007 5:38 PM


Leviathan? I dunno, considering the hallucinagenic nature of the ACs in general, the Beast is likely to be a Lego puppy with a drool problem. Or another Tigerboy. With a drool problem.

Now I am verrry paranoid of giant Playmobil Santas. THERE’S ONE NOW! AHH!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/19/2007 5:53 PM


Matt, those ever-changing website titles for XE are great, I have to keep remembering to go back to the homepage each day to catch them for a quick smirk.

It’s the little things that count…or else simple things please simple minds.

Chestnuts roasted by Guise @ 12/19/2007 6:01 PM


Guise There’s a homepage? Seriously, I don’t think I’ve been to the homepage in MONTHS.

I guess you know when something has altered your perception of reality when you can’t look at the Giant Playmobil Santa and see anything BUT an evil, scheming villian.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/19/2007 6:03 PM


Matt needs to get a giant playmobil Santa for next years villain!

Chestnuts roasted by Arkenor @ 12/19/2007 6:13 PM


Cameron, I’ve had it as one of my ‘auto-opens’ for ages, but recently changed it to the AC, and now the titles seem to change daily I have to keep going back so I don’t miss them. Maddness I tells ya, madness!

Also, I’d be tempted to see if they sell off the marketing stuff after Christmas. I’ve done that before to get posters from cinemas and display cases. I used to have a nifty 3.5ft cardboard Sonic the Hedgehog from an electronics chain store.

Chestnuts roasted by Guise @ 12/19/2007 6:16 PM


dood. If they had a hssxxlllo- you would bet I’d have taken a pic with him, that adorable traitor.
I totally want a full-size playmobil guy, like… NOW.

Chestnuts roasted by kittymao @ 12/19/2007 6:18 PM


I did pick up a Playmobil catalogue. Hssxxlllo and Hare are from the “Bunnies Music Lesson” set, from the Bunnies line. Sadly nothing from that line was in stock anywhere, else I would probably have cracked.

Chestnuts roasted by Arkenor @ 12/19/2007 6:21 PM


When we got our Knight’s Duel Advent Calendar, there was a little booklet of all the cool Playmobil sets you can order. I want the Gladiator set SOOO bad! It comes with Roman soldiers and gladiators and a tiger and, I think, a bear. I also want the Medieval set because no reenactor’s home is complete without Medieval toys. :D

Chestnuts roasted by Special K @ 12/19/2007 6:54 PM


I used to have a Playmobil Pirate ship. The biggest one. I’m pretty sure the one you can buy now for like 40 bucks is that one. I’ve been tempted a few times…

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/19/2007 6:59 PM


Wait a minute. What do you want a 360 for, Matt? What game(s) do you have your eyes on?

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 12/19/2007 8:09 PM


Where the heck do you find Playmobil stuff, anyway? I think it’s awesome and want to buy some for myself. I mean, my future children.

Also, this is my first Advent Calendar, and I’m having a blast. I ought to go back and read all the others that I missed.

Chestnuts roasted by Annette @ 12/19/2007 8:15 PM


hee, already ordered my hssxxllo and mare… and the most adorable f*cking playmobil raccoon playset. I will gte the unicorn someday.

Chestnuts roasted by kittymao @ 12/19/2007 8:16 PM


Frosty the Snowman comes on tonight 8/7 Central!

Also this is a very late mention but National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation aired last night on Turner Movie Classics unedited.

Chestnuts roasted by Luap @ 12/19/2007 8:45 PM


Anyone watching “Year Without A Santa Claus” on ABC Family Channel right now? It just got past the part where Santa sings “I believe in Santa Claus.”

Chestnuts roasted by Old Jim @ 12/19/2007 9:25 PM


Here are the Ornaments I mentioned a couple of days ago. I dunno I think they are neat :)

Mr. and Mrs. Claus Ornaments

Felt Clothesline Garland

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 12/19/2007 11:22 PM


Kittymao, I ventured to my local Toys R Us to see if they had Hare and Hssxxlllo, to my disappointment, they didn’t have them.

Although in anticipation of the new season of Lost I considered getting this

http://store.playmobilusa.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-US-Site/en_US/Cart-AddProduct

and this
http://store.playmobilusa.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-US-Site/en_US/Product-Show?pid=5737&cgid=Piraten

Chestnuts roasted by Tresjolie9 @ 12/20/2007 9:51 PM


Whoops, meant to post this

http://store.playmobilusa.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-US-Site/en_US/Product-Show?pid=4310&cgid=Flughafen

I’m not going to the Playmobil site and thinking of what other shows I can recreate with Playmobil.

Chestnuts roasted by Tresjolie9 @ 12/20/2007 10:00 PM


Hey Matt, what toy is waiterbots head? It sort of looks like an anime version of Krang.

Chestnuts roasted by mjgrass @ 12/21/2007 7:52 PM


It snowed today. And our family is staying at a hotel right now ren miles from where I live where we have placed a dozen stockings on the wall to be filled with random christams crap and there is a small tree sitting on the dresser. Now we are going to go swimming. Strangest Christmas Ever. But that’s OK. Merry Christmas Early everybody!

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 12/22/2007 7:03 PM


Hey! There was some kiosk in my local mall selling some form of fake snow. It was VERY overpriced and the name escapes me. Fake snow is snow fun. (read that carefully and add a “at all” at the end)

Chestnuts roasted by Jonah N. @ 12/25/2007 2:16 PM


what I got.

liz boots
tremors 4 pack

yeah….

what I bought 4 grand worth

I am so selling my family

no BUMBLE this year

Chestnuts roasted by RedKat @ 12/28/2007 2:09 AM


1 4 5 6

Add A New Comment!