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The Ginger Family, and Reindeer Corn!

It's a relaxing Saturday night. I've got the Christmas tunes going, with a side dish (or bottle) of Sam Adams Holiday Porter, a beer that I'm fairly sure was flavored with lumber. It's nice and cold out, and fittingly, it really felt like December today. There's a certain kind of cold associated with December, and it's got little to do with temperature. It's just a thick, heavy-but-clean kind of cold. It's a bitch when you aren't in the mood for it, but when you are, the world is a tremendous place.


I was really going for a nice, ambient Christmas motif in the photo above, but I think the vague view of my oven and Sweet'N Low container might've killed the mood. Sorry.

New or not-so-new from Pepperidge Farm, it's the "Ginger Family" cookie collection! Something about this whole thing resonates as an oddity. Maybe it's that people-shaped gingerbread cookies always present a bit of guilt for those who eat them, and here, they've gone one step further by creating an entire family. I am willing to accept that most gingerbread men are cognizant of their ultimate fate, but what about their wives and children? Is our desire to snack worth turning these families' worlds upside-down?

The cookies manage to be in the correct relative scale, with a big father, gigantic mother, and a son and daughter who are either really affable or merely conjoined twins.

Since I don't particularly care for gingerbread cookies, I don't have to spend the night arguing with my conscience over whether it's okay to diminish this family's size or not. Course, that begs the question of why I bought them to begin with. I have no good answer for that.


I recently wrote about how we chucked around four metric tons of Christmas decorations into the trash this year, in an effort to cleanse our souls and collective storage space. Now that I look around again, it doesn't seem like we made much of a dent. There was just so much crap that had too much sentimental value to kill. Example: The piece of trash shown above.

I can't remember where I got it, but I've had it for around a decade. I'm not even sure what it is. The plastic decoration stands around 4" tall, and if I had to make a guess, I'd say it's a roller coaster designed by someone who really wasn't of sound mind to design roller coasters. We've got a million similarly nonsensical Christmas decorations swarming our apartment like immobile locusts, and though we made an attempt to improve our feng shui, my new stance is "fuck it." I like my stupid decorations. I don't want them to end up smashed at some hellhole landfill, with only toxic chemicals and dirty diapers to care for them. Christmas decorations, even ones that look like retarded roller coasters, deserve better.


Finally, there's a new kind of candy corn in town, and it's totally Christmassy. "Reindeer Corn" is a title that makes little sense to me, but that's what they're calling it, and I suppose it's up to us to justify why. What do they mean by "reindeer corn?" I'm putting this question to all of you. All of my answers are scatological and sound like they came from a five-year-old.

The red, green and white candies are a bit bigger than traditional candy corn pieces, but they taste just the same. I'm no fan of candy corn, but they look great in a tabletop candy bowl. It's okay to buy candy for purely decorative purposes, right?

This is your SNT. Are you here for your SNT?

EDIT: Advent Calendar: December 2nd is now active!

Posted by Matt on 12/01/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 106 comments

It’s VERY Christmassy here in the Twins Cities—snow falling and cool air. Perfect way to start the countdown to the big day.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris D. @ 12/01/2007 11:12 PM


Annette: Randomly, I like how it says “Chestnuts roasted by Vanilla Fire” up there.

If somebody was selling chestnuts, and that’s the sign they had on their cart, I would purchase three bags.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 12/01/2007 11:12 PM


Did anyone watch Fat Camp 2 tonight? I actually saw a kid on there that I went to elementary and high school with.

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 12/01/2007 11:20 PM


It’s a Merrython on TVLand!

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 12/01/2007 11:25 PM


Matt,

Long time reader first time poster. Reindeer corn is a play on “deer corn,” which is what you put in “feeders” out in the woods to attract deer when you’re hunting them. Someone somewhere at the company who made those thinks they’re hilariously funny and knows no one will get it…

Chestnuts roasted by Josh Yawn @ 12/01/2007 11:31 PM


*is watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, which she got from Target yesterday! Thanks for the tip, whoever posted it here!* :)

Chestnuts roasted by Moony @ 12/01/2007 11:42 PM


Josh: Thanks! Another mystery solved.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/01/2007 11:43 PM


Matt –

Any idea when the xmas jukebox 2k7 will be up and running?

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff Mack @ 12/01/2007 11:47 PM


Hey Matt –

Random advent calendar connection – I was listening to Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me on the radio, and the guest today was James Lipton. He didn’t say remarkablous though. :(

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 12/01/2007 11:49 PM


Nothing like spending 6 hours to clean up a mess that you’re not even fully convinced was your mess to begin with.

I love candy corn but Christmas is a Thin Mints holiday.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 12/01/2007 11:51 PM


I tried making gingerbread cookies last year. Not gonna do that again. I only like em if they’re soft.
Chris D I am here too. And I am loving it. Until about an hour ago I could hear the bell ringers out my window.
Happy December!

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 12/01/2007 11:52 PM


Happy SNT everybody!
I got the majority of my shopping finished today! It’s all sitting next to me and I want to start wrapping but I have a paper to write for art history that I should really be working on :P
I love all the gifts I’ve bought so far. My favs are probably the Flight of the Conchords DVD set for a friend, a Slurpee Drink Maker for some cousins (on sale today at Target) and a cool tea set + giant canister of Poppycock for my Secret Santa partner. Plus some others I’m keeping under my hat, just in case.
BTW, seeing The Mist and Best Buy $4 DVD sales? Not a good combo. I can’t believe I actually bought The Sweetest Thing. It’s one thing to watch it in secret whenever it’s on Comedy Central, but to actually buy it, that’s a new low.
So the only people I still need to buy for are the brother, and two boy cousins. Girls are so much easier to shop for! Anybody have any suggestions for gifts? I’m hoping to go beyond the same old video game/Lego route but I suppose things are classic for a reason.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 12/01/2007 11:53 PM


Squee
What did you think of The Mist?

Chestnuts roasted by Dan H @ 12/01/2007 11:56 PM


reindeer corn is what sants gives to his reindeer to make them fly in an old christmas claymation i have…he gets them from the spirit of winter or something weird like that

As clumsyonice said, you’re thinking of “Santa Claus is Coming To Town,” where the Winter Warlock gives it to Santa’s reindeer to make them fly.

This also comes into play in “Rudolph & Frosty’s Christmas in July” a R-B Sequel movie that incorporates the first “Rudolph” anbd “Frosty” cartoons, along with “Froty’s Winter Wonderland” and “Jack Frost.” The magic feed corn is again referenced as it makes the Circus fly at the end. Watch the ABC Family Rankin-Bass marathon on Xmas Eve and you’ll see all of these specials.

As for that Roller Coaster decoration…holy crap, if you want to get rid of it, I’ll take it! Name your price!!

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 12/01/2007 11:57 PM


I gotta say, I’m getting really giddy about the Advent Calendar this year, and this comment may or may not be a way for me to check if it’s past midnight in X-E land. (aka… Eastern time zone? I’m terrible with those)

Chestnuts roasted by Ben @ 12/02/2007 12:02 AM


Remember, X-E clocks are an hour off. It’s 11:10 here. Posting probably around 12 – 12:30. :) It’s coming along.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/02/2007 12:10 AM


I’m loving the constant updates Matt. Keep them coming. Halloween was kind of sad with the updates so few and far between. Or maybe I’m kind of sad for allowing my holiday mood to swing in whichever direction your writing seems to sway. In any case, you’re the shit (in a good way).

Chestnuts roasted by Kris @ 12/02/2007 12:19 AM


I must have some reindeer corn. I’m not a huge fan of candy corn, but I could handle a handful or so after a good meal. I always have to have a sweet after dinner, and right now I eat two Golden Oreo’s after every meal. I’m extremely addicted. They are VERY good.

Chestnuts roasted by iAMYou @ 12/02/2007 12:20 AM


Hmmm best gift for someone this year? I want to get my brother a Mr Beer Micro Brewery. Its 29.99 at Amazon and Target.com

I got me and my husbands gift to eachother today and it should arrive in a few days…I signed us up for ATT cellphone service. I picked a Pantech C150 phone. There was some deal where you didnt have to pay anything today as long as you ordered online. I was shocked when i didn’t need a deposit! I have the worlds worst credit. Oh well, if they wanna trust me then i will do my damdest to pay on time or early. Hell, it could be the start to rebuilding my credit.

Chestnuts roasted by mandy_tinsel_Reeves @ 12/02/2007 12:23 AM


Hey all, happy SNT. Counting down the minutes to the next Advent..

Chestnuts roasted by Nizz @ 12/02/2007 12:29 AM


Wow, I’m very proud of myself, I’ve posted for the last 3 threads in a row, before that I hadn’t posted since the summer! I’m also proud of myself for posting so late, this is what having a new born baby will do to you!

Someone up top said that the roller coaster would be good to eat if it was food, funny that was my first thought too!

Fav gift for someone…This year I am finally going to give my husband the novel 20 000 leagues under the sea, I have been wanting to buy it for him for Christmas since we have been married but ya gotta order it first and I am without my own credit card, anyway long story short I never ordered it in time for it to be here by Christmas, but this year I am on top of things!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 12/02/2007 12:47 AM


Whoa, they’re playing Charlie Brown again on Monday? I hope they’re playing it again a little closer to Christmas too.
Dan, I liked it a lot. Wish I hadn’t waited so long to see it. Definitely one of the best movies of the year. Last night I had to drop a friend off late and the whole city was covered with fog…freaked my shit right out.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 12/02/2007 12:50 AM


The holidays are crazy for me, because I LOVE holiday foods. I love pumpkin pie, sweet potatoes, etc. However, candy corn is more of a take-it-or-leave-it for me. I’ll dig into those Candy Cane Hershey’s Kisses instead. (I’m so happy they’re back, one of the few returning items from last year’s candy cane-like candy frenzy.)

Oh, and I finally got to try a Cranberry Splash Slurpee this morning, on my way back from the bank. God, that was some good stuff. Tart, but not too much so. It was 40 degrees this morning, and I still gulped it down. I might have to get myself some more of that before January.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 12/02/2007 12:51 AM


I wish there was a way of totally privatizing your address on Amazons wish list.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 12/02/2007 12:54 AM


So I said yesterday i believe that i couldnt find any SMCS in northeastern ohio…..well…..i finally stopped at the dirtiest dingiest horrible discount grocery store in the area, and they had 2 2 liters left, so i bought them both. huzzah!

Chestnuts roasted by Leigha @ 12/02/2007 1:15 AM


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