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The Ginger Family, and Reindeer Corn!

It's a relaxing Saturday night. I've got the Christmas tunes going, with a side dish (or bottle) of Sam Adams Holiday Porter, a beer that I'm fairly sure was flavored with lumber. It's nice and cold out, and fittingly, it really felt like December today. There's a certain kind of cold associated with December, and it's got little to do with temperature. It's just a thick, heavy-but-clean kind of cold. It's a bitch when you aren't in the mood for it, but when you are, the world is a tremendous place.


I was really going for a nice, ambient Christmas motif in the photo above, but I think the vague view of my oven and Sweet'N Low container might've killed the mood. Sorry.

New or not-so-new from Pepperidge Farm, it's the "Ginger Family" cookie collection! Something about this whole thing resonates as an oddity. Maybe it's that people-shaped gingerbread cookies always present a bit of guilt for those who eat them, and here, they've gone one step further by creating an entire family. I am willing to accept that most gingerbread men are cognizant of their ultimate fate, but what about their wives and children? Is our desire to snack worth turning these families' worlds upside-down?

The cookies manage to be in the correct relative scale, with a big father, gigantic mother, and a son and daughter who are either really affable or merely conjoined twins.

Since I don't particularly care for gingerbread cookies, I don't have to spend the night arguing with my conscience over whether it's okay to diminish this family's size or not. Course, that begs the question of why I bought them to begin with. I have no good answer for that.


I recently wrote about how we chucked around four metric tons of Christmas decorations into the trash this year, in an effort to cleanse our souls and collective storage space. Now that I look around again, it doesn't seem like we made much of a dent. There was just so much crap that had too much sentimental value to kill. Example: The piece of trash shown above.

I can't remember where I got it, but I've had it for around a decade. I'm not even sure what it is. The plastic decoration stands around 4" tall, and if I had to make a guess, I'd say it's a roller coaster designed by someone who really wasn't of sound mind to design roller coasters. We've got a million similarly nonsensical Christmas decorations swarming our apartment like immobile locusts, and though we made an attempt to improve our feng shui, my new stance is "fuck it." I like my stupid decorations. I don't want them to end up smashed at some hellhole landfill, with only toxic chemicals and dirty diapers to care for them. Christmas decorations, even ones that look like retarded roller coasters, deserve better.


Finally, there's a new kind of candy corn in town, and it's totally Christmassy. "Reindeer Corn" is a title that makes little sense to me, but that's what they're calling it, and I suppose it's up to us to justify why. What do they mean by "reindeer corn?" I'm putting this question to all of you. All of my answers are scatological and sound like they came from a five-year-old.

The red, green and white candies are a bit bigger than traditional candy corn pieces, but they taste just the same. I'm no fan of candy corn, but they look great in a tabletop candy bowl. It's okay to buy candy for purely decorative purposes, right?

This is your SNT. Are you here for your SNT?

EDIT: Advent Calendar: December 2nd is now active!

Posted by Matt on 12/01/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 106 comments

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I like that decoration thing even though I don’t know what the hell it is. I think it would be delicious if it were edible.

I love how everyone is getting so excited about the Advent calendar and the holidays in general. It gives me a wonderful feeling inside.

Chestnuts roasted by Bluejay @ 12/01/2007 10:22 PM


reindeer corn is what sants gives to his reindeer to make them fly in an old christmas claymation i have…he gets them from the spirit of winter or something weird like that

Chestnuts roasted by vwarb @ 12/01/2007 10:22 PM


Sorry for the double post, but I just had to say: My first first post on the first of December!

Chestnuts roasted by Bluejay @ 12/01/2007 10:24 PM


So am I just no fun because I don’t like one holiday’s candy being misappropriated for another holiday? Halloween Peeps? Christmas Corn? I think I even saw some sort of a christmas themed cadbury cream egg. Blasphemy!!

An obvious SNT topic: What’s the best holiday present you’ve purchased for someone so far this year? Mine’s kind of lame, but I got my brothers both D-cell mag lights. Something about the big mag lites always makes me happy.

Chestnuts roasted by Yet Another Matt @ 12/01/2007 10:30 PM


If you drink smoked porter, it tastes like a barbecue, not barbecued meat or barbecue sauce, but the smell that comes from a barbecue grill, odd but tasty. Do you like any holiday foods though Matt? You don’t like egg nog, gingerbread, candy corn, pumpkin pie, and nearly everything else holiday themed.

Chestnuts roasted by BenS @ 12/01/2007 10:31 PM


Reindeer Corn? Seems more like Reindeer droppings to me, yet this coming from someone who thinks all Christmas candies should taste like peppermint.

Chestnuts roasted by Will @ 12/01/2007 10:33 PM


Does seem odd when you list them out, but I do like the nog! I don’t hate the other things, just not a big fan of them. (Except for pumpkin pie…blech.) I grew up in an Italian household. More salt than sugar.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/01/2007 10:33 PM


What the hell is that decoration? A Christmas rollercoaster? Shouldn’t it have Santa on it? Does it light up or play music or something? Also, regarding Christmas-y foodstuffs, I saw at Target a ‘Gingerbread Soda’ by Jones. Hard to find, though, even in Target’s weird soda section. Tastes good, if you like gingerbread. Kinda like ginger ale, with less bite, but with nutmeg & cinnamon & stuff. Good. … Uh … Happy SNT! Happy December, Matt :)

Chestnuts roasted by Mike @ 12/01/2007 10:39 PM


Matt -
Have you pimped out your Christmas tree yet or are you just sorting through the ornaments before making the King of All Christmas trees?

Chestnuts roasted by Glico @ 12/01/2007 10:39 PM


Personally I think the world would just be a little better place if we ALL ate reindeer corn.

But that’s just me.

I’m just a’wastin’ time till number 2!!

wait..I mean the advent calendar thing…not the poo thing

*sigh*

Chestnuts roasted by Mandi @ 12/01/2007 10:40 PM


I don’t like many of the “traditional” (for our family at least) Thanksgiving foods – sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, stuffing, etc. It’s okay though, it leaves more room for my simple feast of turkey, mashed potatoes, bread, and of course lots and lots of GRAVY. I do like the pumpkin pie though. And gingerbread.

Hmm…I hate eggnog, I hate candy corn, I can rarely stomach Peeps, I can leave the Cadbury eggs.

Chestnuts roasted by Bluejay @ 12/01/2007 10:43 PM


vwarb that’s in Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, the Winter Warlock calls it magic feed corn, I think

Chestnuts roasted by clumsyonice @ 12/01/2007 10:43 PM


I was eyeing up the Ginger Family yesterday. I decided to head over to the VF Outlets after class just to enjoy the Christmas shopping ambiance. There’s a Pepperidge Farm store in there, and one wall is filled with discounted Goldfish crackers of every flavor imaginable, and the opposite wall is filled with ever flavor of Pepperidge Farms cookie possible. Then there’s all kinds of other crazy shit they make like foreign stuff and everything. It’s pretty sweet.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 12/01/2007 10:44 PM


Happy SNT, all. I’ve got a fire going and sitting by the Christmas tree. Going to get with some friends later for a view of Nightmare before Christmas. Then tomorrow we’ve got a big Lessons and Carols service at my church…

God I love Christmas, and Mare and the gang make it even better! :)

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 12/01/2007 10:46 PM


I think it’s sort of sad that reindeer corn looks more Halloweeny than actual Halloween candy corn. I mean, look at it. What you’ve got there is a bowl of severed witches’ fingers, complete with bloody stump. It’s uncanny.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 12/01/2007 10:54 PM


I want to dunk those gingerbread people in hot tea.

Chestnuts roasted by ashley @ 12/01/2007 10:56 PM


Matt,

I’d chuck that god awful “decoration” riiiggght out. I suppose I’m a Grinch when it comes to old decorations; for some reason they depress me and fill me with somber rage, which I forgot was possible until I laid eyes on that. Death to infidel Christmas decorations!

Chestnuts roasted by penmissile @ 12/01/2007 10:58 PM


A lot of our decorations come from thrift stores, and I can’t help but feel like I’m honoring the dead by keeping them. Yes, this shitty roller coaster wreathy thing…it’s a tribute.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/01/2007 11:00 PM


Other Matt: I’ll respond to the Xmas gift thing!

Since I’m college freshman and therefore have no money, I’m making my friends a DVD slideshow of us through the years, including hidden easter eggs on the main menu. And for my sister, since she has a tacky shot glass collection, I bought her a “Blue Suede Shoes” shot glass. It’s pretty exciting.

Chestnuts roasted by Vanilla Fire @ 12/01/2007 11:01 PM


Today’s post had an awesome balance of red, green, and white, what I consider “traditional Christmas colors.” Awesome.

My guess for reindeer corn would be corn you feed a reindeer, but that’s not nearly as funny as anything poop related.

Chestnuts roasted by Ben @ 12/01/2007 11:03 PM


I just tried Horizon low-fat egg nog tonight. It’s great, I can actually drink a small cup of it and enjoy the flavor without feeling ill afterwards.

Chestnuts roasted by Crazy_Mainer @ 12/01/2007 11:05 PM


Matt, you could totally make that gingerbread family “bit” players in your advent calendar. If that idea sucks, they always taste good warm from the microwave served with vanilla ice cream. Mmmm, gingery…

Chestnuts roasted by godjilla @ 12/01/2007 11:05 PM


I love that decoration. Tacky Christmas is the only Christmas for me.

Our family Nativity set has the baby Jesus sleeping in a clay ashtray I made in Art back in 1985. Couldn’t have it any other way.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 12/01/2007 11:06 PM


Matt, I hate to turn you into the middle man but could you tell Knacks that I FINALLY got around to sending him a friend request?
Thanks

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 12/01/2007 11:07 PM


Am I one of the only people that actually likes throwing out crap that I don’t use anymore? >.> I feel so…cleansed after I de-junk. I mean, I like collecting random crap, but I’ve lost so many things over the years that I don’t get as attached anymore.

Randomly, I like how it says “Chestnuts roasted by Vanilla Fire” up there.

Chestnuts roasted by Annette @ 12/01/2007 11:08 PM


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