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12/01/2007: The Ginger Family, and Reindeer Corn!

It’s a relaxing Saturday night. I’ve got the Christmas tunes going, with a side dish (or bottle) of Sam Adams Holiday Porter, a beer that I’m fairly sure was flavored with lumber. It’s nice and cold out, and fittingly, it really felt like December today. There’s a certain kind of cold associated with December, and it’s got little to do with temperature. It’s just a thick, heavy-but-clean kind of cold. It’s a bitch when you aren’t in the mood for it, but when you are, the world is a tremendous place.


I was really going for a nice, ambient Christmas motif in the photo above, but I think the vague view of my oven and Sweet’N Low container might’ve killed the mood. Sorry.

New or not-so-new from Pepperidge Farm, it’s the “Ginger Family” cookie collection! Something about this whole thing resonates as an oddity. Maybe it’s that people-shaped gingerbread cookies always present a bit of guilt for those who eat them, and here, they’ve gone one step further by creating an entire family. I am willing to accept that most gingerbread men are cognizant of their ultimate fate, but what about their wives and children? Is our desire to snack worth turning these families’ worlds upside-down?

The cookies manage to be in the correct relative scale, with a big father, gigantic mother, and a son and daughter who are either really affable or merely conjoined twins.

Since I don’t particularly care for gingerbread cookies, I don’t have to spend the night arguing with my conscience over whether it’s okay to diminish this family’s size or not. Course, that begs the question of why I bought them to begin with. I have no good answer for that.


I recently wrote about how we chucked around four metric tons of Christmas decorations into the trash this year, in an effort to cleanse our souls and collective storage space. Now that I look around again, it doesn’t seem like we made much of a dent. There was just so much crap that had too much sentimental value to kill. Example: The piece of trash shown above.

I can’t remember where I got it, but I’ve had it for around a decade. I’m not even sure what it is. The plastic decoration stands around 4″ tall, and if I had to make a guess, I’d say it’s a roller coaster designed by someone who really wasn’t of sound mind to design roller coasters. We’ve got a million similarly nonsensical Christmas decorations swarming our apartment like immobile locusts, and though we made an attempt to improve our feng shui, my new stance is “fuck it.” I like my stupid decorations. I don’t want them to end up smashed at some hellhole landfill, with only toxic chemicals and dirty diapers to care for them. Christmas decorations, even ones that look like retarded roller coasters, deserve better.


Finally, there’s a new kind of candy corn in town, and it’s totally Christmassy. “Reindeer Corn” is a title that makes little sense to me, but that’s what they’re calling it, and I suppose it’s up to us to justify why. What do they mean by “reindeer corn?” I’m putting this question to all of you. All of my answers are scatological and sound like they came from a five-year-old.

The red, green and white candies are a bit bigger than traditional candy corn pieces, but they taste just the same. I’m no fan of candy corn, but they look great in a tabletop candy bowl. It’s okay to buy candy for purely decorative purposes, right?

This is your SNT. Are you here for your SNT?

EDIT: Advent Calendar: December 2nd is now active!


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 106 comments

I like that decoration thing even though I don’t know what the hell it is. I think it would be delicious if it were edible.

I love how everyone is getting so excited about the Advent calendar and the holidays in general. It gives me a wonderful feeling inside.

Ghosted by Bluejay @ 12/01/2007 10:22 PM EST


reindeer corn is what sants gives to his reindeer to make them fly in an old christmas claymation i have…he gets them from the spirit of winter or something weird like that

Ghosted by vwarb @ 12/01/2007 10:22 PM EST


Sorry for the double post, but I just had to say: My first first post on the first of December!

Ghosted by Bluejay @ 12/01/2007 10:24 PM EST


So am I just no fun because I don’t like one holiday’s candy being misappropriated for another holiday? Halloween Peeps? Christmas Corn? I think I even saw some sort of a christmas themed cadbury cream egg. Blasphemy!!

An obvious SNT topic: What’s the best holiday present you’ve purchased for someone so far this year? Mine’s kind of lame, but I got my brothers both D-cell mag lights. Something about the big mag lites always makes me happy.

Ghosted by Yet Another Matt @ 12/01/2007 10:30 PM EST


If you drink smoked porter, it tastes like a barbecue, not barbecued meat or barbecue sauce, but the smell that comes from a barbecue grill, odd but tasty. Do you like any holiday foods though Matt? You don’t like egg nog, gingerbread, candy corn, pumpkin pie, and nearly everything else holiday themed.

Ghosted by BenS @ 12/01/2007 10:31 PM EST


Reindeer Corn? Seems more like Reindeer droppings to me, yet this coming from someone who thinks all Christmas candies should taste like peppermint.

Ghosted by Will @ 12/01/2007 10:33 PM EST


Does seem odd when you list them out, but I do like the nog! I don’t hate the other things, just not a big fan of them. (Except for pumpkin pie…blech.) I grew up in an Italian household. More salt than sugar.

Ghosted by Matt @ 12/01/2007 10:33 PM EST


What the hell is that decoration? A Christmas rollercoaster? Shouldn’t it have Santa on it? Does it light up or play music or something? Also, regarding Christmas-y foodstuffs, I saw at Target a ‘Gingerbread Soda’ by Jones. Hard to find, though, even in Target’s weird soda section. Tastes good, if you like gingerbread. Kinda like ginger ale, with less bite, but with nutmeg & cinnamon & stuff. Good. … Uh … Happy SNT! Happy December, Matt :)

Ghosted by Mike @ 12/01/2007 10:39 PM EST


Matt -
Have you pimped out your Christmas tree yet or are you just sorting through the ornaments before making the King of All Christmas trees?

Ghosted by Glico @ 12/01/2007 10:39 PM EST


Personally I think the world would just be a little better place if we ALL ate reindeer corn.

But that’s just me.

I’m just a’wastin’ time till number 2!!

wait..I mean the advent calendar thing…not the poo thing

*sigh*

Ghosted by Mandi @ 12/01/2007 10:40 PM EST


I don’t like many of the “traditional” (for our family at least) Thanksgiving foods – sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, stuffing, etc. It’s okay though, it leaves more room for my simple feast of turkey, mashed potatoes, bread, and of course lots and lots of GRAVY. I do like the pumpkin pie though. And gingerbread.

Hmm…I hate eggnog, I hate candy corn, I can rarely stomach Peeps, I can leave the Cadbury eggs.

Ghosted by Bluejay @ 12/01/2007 10:43 PM EST


vwarb that’s in Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, the Winter Warlock calls it magic feed corn, I think

Ghosted by clumsyonice @ 12/01/2007 10:43 PM EST


I was eyeing up the Ginger Family yesterday. I decided to head over to the VF Outlets after class just to enjoy the Christmas shopping ambiance. There’s a Pepperidge Farm store in there, and one wall is filled with discounted Goldfish crackers of every flavor imaginable, and the opposite wall is filled with ever flavor of Pepperidge Farms cookie possible. Then there’s all kinds of other crazy shit they make like foreign stuff and everything. It’s pretty sweet.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 12/01/2007 10:44 PM EST


Happy SNT, all. I’ve got a fire going and sitting by the Christmas tree. Going to get with some friends later for a view of Nightmare before Christmas. Then tomorrow we’ve got a big Lessons and Carols service at my church…

God I love Christmas, and Mare and the gang make it even better! :)

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 12/01/2007 10:46 PM EST


I think it’s sort of sad that reindeer corn looks more Halloweeny than actual Halloween candy corn. I mean, look at it. What you’ve got there is a bowl of severed witches’ fingers, complete with bloody stump. It’s uncanny.

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 12/01/2007 10:54 PM EST


I want to dunk those gingerbread people in hot tea.

Ghosted by ashley @ 12/01/2007 10:56 PM EST


Matt,

I’d chuck that god awful “decoration” riiiggght out. I suppose I’m a Grinch when it comes to old decorations; for some reason they depress me and fill me with somber rage, which I forgot was possible until I laid eyes on that. Death to infidel Christmas decorations!

Ghosted by penmissile @ 12/01/2007 10:58 PM EST


A lot of our decorations come from thrift stores, and I can’t help but feel like I’m honoring the dead by keeping them. Yes, this shitty roller coaster wreathy thing…it’s a tribute.

Ghosted by Matt @ 12/01/2007 11:00 PM EST


Other Matt: I’ll respond to the Xmas gift thing!

Since I’m college freshman and therefore have no money, I’m making my friends a DVD slideshow of us through the years, including hidden easter eggs on the main menu. And for my sister, since she has a tacky shot glass collection, I bought her a “Blue Suede Shoes” shot glass. It’s pretty exciting.

Ghosted by Vanilla Fire @ 12/01/2007 11:01 PM EST


Today’s post had an awesome balance of red, green, and white, what I consider “traditional Christmas colors.” Awesome.

My guess for reindeer corn would be corn you feed a reindeer, but that’s not nearly as funny as anything poop related.

Ghosted by Ben @ 12/01/2007 11:03 PM EST


I just tried Horizon low-fat egg nog tonight. It’s great, I can actually drink a small cup of it and enjoy the flavor without feeling ill afterwards.

Ghosted by Crazy_Mainer @ 12/01/2007 11:05 PM EST


Matt, you could totally make that gingerbread family “bit” players in your advent calendar. If that idea sucks, they always taste good warm from the microwave served with vanilla ice cream. Mmmm, gingery…

Ghosted by godjilla @ 12/01/2007 11:05 PM EST


I love that decoration. Tacky Christmas is the only Christmas for me.

Our family Nativity set has the baby Jesus sleeping in a clay ashtray I made in Art back in 1985. Couldn’t have it any other way.

Ghosted by Bill @ 12/01/2007 11:06 PM EST


Matt, I hate to turn you into the middle man but could you tell Knacks that I FINALLY got around to sending him a friend request?
Thanks

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 12/01/2007 11:07 PM EST


Am I one of the only people that actually likes throwing out crap that I don’t use anymore? >.> I feel so…cleansed after I de-junk. I mean, I like collecting random crap, but I’ve lost so many things over the years that I don’t get as attached anymore.

Randomly, I like how it says “Chestnuts roasted by Vanilla Fire” up there.

Ghosted by Annette @ 12/01/2007 11:08 PM EST


It’s VERY Christmassy here in the Twins Cities—snow falling and cool air. Perfect way to start the countdown to the big day.

Ghosted by Chris D. @ 12/01/2007 11:12 PM EST


Annette: Randomly, I like how it says “Chestnuts roasted by Vanilla Fire” up there.

If somebody was selling chestnuts, and that’s the sign they had on their cart, I would purchase three bags.

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 12/01/2007 11:12 PM EST


Did anyone watch Fat Camp 2 tonight? I actually saw a kid on there that I went to elementary and high school with.

Ghosted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 12/01/2007 11:20 PM EST


It’s a Merrython on TVLand!

Ghosted by Bill @ 12/01/2007 11:25 PM EST


Matt,

Long time reader first time poster. Reindeer corn is a play on “deer corn,” which is what you put in “feeders” out in the woods to attract deer when you’re hunting them. Someone somewhere at the company who made those thinks they’re hilariously funny and knows no one will get it…

Ghosted by Josh Yawn @ 12/01/2007 11:31 PM EST


*is watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, which she got from Target yesterday! Thanks for the tip, whoever posted it here!* :)

Ghosted by Moony @ 12/01/2007 11:42 PM EST


Josh: Thanks! Another mystery solved.

Ghosted by Matt @ 12/01/2007 11:43 PM EST


Matt –

Any idea when the xmas jukebox 2k7 will be up and running?

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 12/01/2007 11:47 PM EST


Hey Matt –

Random advent calendar connection – I was listening to Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me on the radio, and the guest today was James Lipton. He didn’t say remarkablous though. :(

Ghosted by Mara @ 12/01/2007 11:49 PM EST


Nothing like spending 6 hours to clean up a mess that you’re not even fully convinced was your mess to begin with.

I love candy corn but Christmas is a Thin Mints holiday.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 12/01/2007 11:51 PM EST


I tried making gingerbread cookies last year. Not gonna do that again. I only like em if they’re soft.
Chris D I am here too. And I am loving it. Until about an hour ago I could hear the bell ringers out my window.
Happy December!

Ghosted by kb @ 12/01/2007 11:52 PM EST


Happy SNT everybody!
I got the majority of my shopping finished today! It’s all sitting next to me and I want to start wrapping but I have a paper to write for art history that I should really be working on :P
I love all the gifts I’ve bought so far. My favs are probably the Flight of the Conchords DVD set for a friend, a Slurpee Drink Maker for some cousins (on sale today at Target) and a cool tea set + giant canister of Poppycock for my Secret Santa partner. Plus some others I’m keeping under my hat, just in case.
BTW, seeing The Mist and Best Buy $4 DVD sales? Not a good combo. I can’t believe I actually bought The Sweetest Thing. It’s one thing to watch it in secret whenever it’s on Comedy Central, but to actually buy it, that’s a new low.
So the only people I still need to buy for are the brother, and two boy cousins. Girls are so much easier to shop for! Anybody have any suggestions for gifts? I’m hoping to go beyond the same old video game/Lego route but I suppose things are classic for a reason.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 12/01/2007 11:53 PM EST


Squee
What did you think of The Mist?

Ghosted by Dan H @ 12/01/2007 11:56 PM EST


reindeer corn is what sants gives to his reindeer to make them fly in an old christmas claymation i have…he gets them from the spirit of winter or something weird like that

As clumsyonice said, you’re thinking of “Santa Claus is Coming To Town,” where the Winter Warlock gives it to Santa’s reindeer to make them fly.

This also comes into play in “Rudolph & Frosty’s Christmas in July” a R-B Sequel movie that incorporates the first “Rudolph” anbd “Frosty” cartoons, along with “Froty’s Winter Wonderland” and “Jack Frost.” The magic feed corn is again referenced as it makes the Circus fly at the end. Watch the ABC Family Rankin-Bass marathon on Xmas Eve and you’ll see all of these specials.

As for that Roller Coaster decoration…holy crap, if you want to get rid of it, I’ll take it! Name your price!!

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 12/01/2007 11:57 PM EST


I gotta say, I’m getting really giddy about the Advent Calendar this year, and this comment may or may not be a way for me to check if it’s past midnight in X-E land. (aka… Eastern time zone? I’m terrible with those)

Ghosted by Ben @ 12/02/2007 12:02 AM EST


Remember, X-E clocks are an hour off. It’s 11:10 here. Posting probably around 12 – 12:30. :) It’s coming along.

Ghosted by Matt @ 12/02/2007 12:10 AM EST


I’m loving the constant updates Matt. Keep them coming. Halloween was kind of sad with the updates so few and far between. Or maybe I’m kind of sad for allowing my holiday mood to swing in whichever direction your writing seems to sway. In any case, you’re the shit (in a good way).

Ghosted by Kris @ 12/02/2007 12:19 AM EST


I must have some reindeer corn. I’m not a huge fan of candy corn, but I could handle a handful or so after a good meal. I always have to have a sweet after dinner, and right now I eat two Golden Oreo’s after every meal. I’m extremely addicted. They are VERY good.

Ghosted by iAMYou @ 12/02/2007 12:20 AM EST


Hmmm best gift for someone this year? I want to get my brother a Mr Beer Micro Brewery. Its 29.99 at Amazon and Target.com

I got me and my husbands gift to eachother today and it should arrive in a few days…I signed us up for ATT cellphone service. I picked a Pantech C150 phone. There was some deal where you didnt have to pay anything today as long as you ordered online. I was shocked when i didn’t need a deposit! I have the worlds worst credit. Oh well, if they wanna trust me then i will do my damdest to pay on time or early. Hell, it could be the start to rebuilding my credit.

Ghosted by mandy_tinsel_Reeves @ 12/02/2007 12:23 AM EST


Hey all, happy SNT. Counting down the minutes to the next Advent..

Ghosted by Nizz @ 12/02/2007 12:29 AM EST


Wow, I’m very proud of myself, I’ve posted for the last 3 threads in a row, before that I hadn’t posted since the summer! I’m also proud of myself for posting so late, this is what having a new born baby will do to you!

Someone up top said that the roller coaster would be good to eat if it was food, funny that was my first thought too!

Fav gift for someone…This year I am finally going to give my husband the novel 20 000 leagues under the sea, I have been wanting to buy it for him for Christmas since we have been married but ya gotta order it first and I am without my own credit card, anyway long story short I never ordered it in time for it to be here by Christmas, but this year I am on top of things!

Ghosted by IHAQ @ 12/02/2007 12:47 AM EST


Whoa, they’re playing Charlie Brown again on Monday? I hope they’re playing it again a little closer to Christmas too.
Dan, I liked it a lot. Wish I hadn’t waited so long to see it. Definitely one of the best movies of the year. Last night I had to drop a friend off late and the whole city was covered with fog…freaked my shit right out.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 12/02/2007 12:50 AM EST


The holidays are crazy for me, because I LOVE holiday foods. I love pumpkin pie, sweet potatoes, etc. However, candy corn is more of a take-it-or-leave-it for me. I’ll dig into those Candy Cane Hershey’s Kisses instead. (I’m so happy they’re back, one of the few returning items from last year’s candy cane-like candy frenzy.)

Oh, and I finally got to try a Cranberry Splash Slurpee this morning, on my way back from the bank. God, that was some good stuff. Tart, but not too much so. It was 40 degrees this morning, and I still gulped it down. I might have to get myself some more of that before January.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 12/02/2007 12:51 AM EST


I wish there was a way of totally privatizing your address on Amazons wish list.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 12/02/2007 12:54 AM EST


So I said yesterday i believe that i couldnt find any SMCS in northeastern ohio…..well…..i finally stopped at the dirtiest dingiest horrible discount grocery store in the area, and they had 2 2 liters left, so i bought them both. huzzah!

Ghosted by Leigha @ 12/02/2007 1:15 AM EST


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