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The 1991 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!

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Ha ha ha ha ha! Technically, I am NOT late! Up now, with like 10 minutes to spare before it's actually Thanksgiving, is my review of the 1991 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, filled with words, pics and video clips!

I must be honest with you: It's the least interesting of the parades I've reviewed, and nothing exciting happens. In fact, after struggling to make the article go for at least two pages, I ultimately consolidated it into one longer page. There just wasn't enough there. Next year, perhaps I should investigate things like this before it gets too late to pick a different parade.

On the other hand, it had Captain Planet, The Addams Family and, uh, Kelsey Grammer, and that's at least good for something.

A Happy Thanksgiving to all who will be celebrating it tomorrow. Eat the food, drink the drinks and bask in the glow of a holiday season officially begun. Now that the bird parade is out of my hair, it's time to paint this sum'bitch town red...and motherfuckin' green. Holla.


While I'm here, I might as well knock this out of the way. I'm not sure if there's anything to dislike about these neat little Play-Doh stocking stuffers, except for the fact that they're sold together in really ugly plastic bags. If you're able to convince yourself that they didn't come in such ugly, useless bags, they become flawless.Each pack comes with two holiday-themed Play-Doh containers. One is shaped like an undecorated Christmas tree, while the other is a rather befuddled and egg-shaped snowman. You get white and red Play-Doh, while the containers themselves each host a small Play-Doh "cookie cutter".

More interesting than any of this is the warning sticker on each container, alerting parents with allergy-laden children that Play-Doh contains wheat. This seems like a bold admission that most kids enjoy eating Play-Doh. Someday, they should just make outright edible, flavored Play-Doh and be done with it. We're going to eat it anyway...it might as well have a hint of cherry and an ad campaign behind it.

Posted by Matt on 11/21/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 254 comments

That Gameboy commercial is adorable.

Chestnuts roasted by Ariel @ 11/22/2007 2:49 AM

Captain Planet?! I used to love the hell out of that show (I was only three years old in ’91 though…why do I remember it so clearly?). By the way Matt, I am now scarred for life after seeing Captain Planet’s giant package.

Maybe I’ll try to focus on Scat Spidey for a while.

Chestnuts roasted by Frakkyfire @ 11/22/2007 3:08 AM

After three straight days of dreary, rainy weather, it actually snowed enough to cover the grass here in northern Illinois. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come this season (Come on, white Christmas!).

(Of course, we got a foot of snow on December 1st last year and after that we didn’t a single inch until a freak storm in APRIL!)

Chestnuts roasted by SleepDeprived @ 11/22/2007 3:09 AM

What I don’t get is why with all the allergy warnings on everything, how come I still have to read through all the ingredients looking for monosodium glutamate. I’ve honestly seen noodles that put a wheat warning, but don’t mention the MSG.
I didn’t get to the store. Now I have nothing to make for Thanksgiving :?

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 11/22/2007 3:23 AM

Yay! Let the eggnog drinking and Bing Crosby crooning begin.

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 11/22/2007 3:37 AM

I’ve heard that companies are now hiding MSG in ‘spices’ and ‘natural flavors’ and other generic ingredient label names.

Chestnuts roasted by Moony @ 11/22/2007 3:42 AM

I teach elementary school and have several kids in my class with wheat and peanut allergies. One kid’s wheat allergy (celiac’s disease) is so severe that if he gets the slightest speck of wheat dust on his hands and later into his mouth, his GI tract goes into shock and he’s got instant diarrhea for 4 days.

I also read in Newsweek once about a girl with a peanut allergy who went into anaphalactic shock after making out with her boyfriend who had eaten peanut butter about 12 hours earlier. She died as I recall.

Allergies are freaky stuff. I have to keep an Epi-Pen (an epinephrine syringe encase in a tube that you stab into the thigh) on hand at all times in case my student comes into contact with any peanut products. I hope to God I never have to use that thing.

Chestnuts roasted by Shelby @ 11/22/2007 3:46 AM

Sorry for the double post but how lucky is that kid who gets to ride in the TMNT cadillac?! Can’t believe no one mentioned that. I bet he was championed as a god up until high school for that one.

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 11/22/2007 3:49 AM

Wait, I thought Raphael was bitching when her got out of Critters 3..

Chestnuts roasted by Cigar @ 11/22/2007 3:55 AM

Did anybody notice that Grandma Addams was referred to as “Grandma-ma”? I never knew that! I thought that term was only reserved for Larry Johnson in drag. Education is a cruel mistriss.

Chestnuts roasted by chrander @ 11/22/2007 3:56 AM

UGH. Motherfucking Rock A Doodle. This movie, Fern Gully, and some other crap on film were the three that made me want to do anything but my favorite past time (watching movies).

Also, does anybody ever watch Lupin III? There was a pretty good parody/homage to the Pink Panther in an episode from the Red Jacket Series. =P

Good post, Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Ben @ 11/22/2007 4:03 AM

Despite being a boring parade, the review was awesome.

Scat Dance Spider-Man! Comes with everything you see here: Spidey-Phonograph, Skins, and interchangable Jazz Hands!

The Turkey-As-A-Pilgrim is Tom Turkey, who has been in every Macy’s Thanksgiving parade since before all of us were born. Speaking of which, I’m gonna miss tomorrow’s since I’m gonna go to sleep immediately after posting this, so could someone fill me in on what happened?

To make some people feel old, if you think being 11/12 in 1991 was a lame time, I was only 4 at the time, yet all the content seems relevant when I was 6 or 7.

But I do call it a missed opportunity for not including Ghost With The Most in the Turkey Drawing. Perhaps a spin-off?

You know that Parade was hurting for ideas when they use a Taz-Mania Float. Even back then I don’t think it was in the same Pantheon as TMNT and Captain Planet.

And on the whole Play-Doh thing…I’m pretty sure back in that blog post that listed the Hot Wheels Stocking Stuffer I mentioned eating Play-Doh and wondering why they haven’t made the actual stuff flavored? Gotta give credit where credit’s due :)

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/22/2007 4:10 AM

Sorry to double post, but I forgot to mention my experience with Rock-A-Doodle. I kind of liked it, but then again…I was like 6 when I saw it and haven’t really seen it since.

I have yet to see Secret of NIMH, but the original All Dogs Go To Heaven, Land Before Time, and the 2 Fivel movies (there are only 2 of these, damnit!!) are my favorite Don Bluth movies.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/22/2007 4:13 AM

I LOVE Don Bluth.

I’d say my favourite of his movies is Titan A.E.

All Dogs Go To Heaven, and An American Tail are close seconds.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 11/22/2007 4:25 AM

Have a great turkey day Matt and all fellow readers! …..and when i fall asleep from dinner tonite ill be dreaming of a mare whinningham christmas!

Chestnuts roasted by Jay B @ 11/22/2007 4:49 AM

It doesn’t look THAT bad. Any of the parades that got Bart can’t be.

Show some respect for the Taz-Mania float, people. I’m one of the few on Earth that own the series in its entirety (due to taping it when it was on Fox), and it’s classic. Taz is in that odd suit because it’s what he wore in his job as bellhop at Hotel Tasmania. And I want the Bullgator and Axl costumes.

If you have to pick on something, pick on that stupid Rock-A-Doodle float.

And I found another mistake: Matt misspelled “Kelsey Grammer” in the article. “Grammar” is something different.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 11/22/2007 4:52 AM

Happy Thanksgiving, peeps.

Thumbs up, Bill, thumbs up.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 11/22/2007 5:19 AM

I don’t want people to roll their eyes at me for mentioning joox.net too much but I wanted to tell everyone something I think is kind of important well in the world of X-E that is.

joox.net today (and I know they get stuff off of the stage6 server but it’s a heck of a lot easier to navigate through joox and other sites that do the same thing) put up Ducktales the movie, and the Chipmunk Christmas from 1981.

Also while trying to find Charlie Brown Thanksgiving on youtube because I missed it (it’s hard to watch tv on Mon and Tues because it’s my best friend’s day’s off) and I found someone with a youtube account dedicated to uploading christmas specials of yesteryear. Most of them are easy to watch on ABC Family or some other channel, and some of them are pretty rare and are in good quality. Like Mickey’s Christmas Carol (that I talked about last week sometime but this is a better quality version) a Flintstone’s Christmas, The Muppet Christmas Carol, and others.

right here

I hope you guys are soaking in Thanksgiving and everything, earlier I listened to a station called rock Christmas on yahoo radio earlier for a couple of hours (honestly that was all I could stand) and it was neat! I didn’t know so many rock bands sang covers to classic christmas carols. Whatever. See you guys tomorrow!

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 11/22/2007 5:46 AM

HOLLA!

Chestnuts roasted by Halloweenghost @ 11/22/2007 6:14 AM

Happy Thanksgiving Matt! Thanks for the memories of 1991

Chestnuts roasted by knight @ 11/22/2007 7:48 AM

I remember this parade quite vividly….It may have been the first year I sat through the whole thing. But watching that Gameboy commercial, I’ve got two questions.

The guy playing the Gameboy…Is it just me or does he look alot like Sam Lloyd, the lawyer from Scrubs?

And what the fuck is with that hat the woman is wearing?

Chestnuts roasted by Browncoat @ 11/22/2007 8:33 AM

I liked Snoopy and Woodstock! I like the Santa Claus is brought to you by Nintendo bumper!
Also, Abby Caddaby and Hello Kitty are my favorite new balloons!

Chestnuts roasted by Toonygirl @ 11/22/2007 8:41 AM

I loved that parade! It was funny!
Can you upload the cotton “Fabirc of our lives” and Wendy’s commericals?
Three balloons are retiring this year.
They are:
Spongebob (due to height and the show getting cancelled in 2008)
Big Bird (due to popuarity of Abby Caddaby)
M&M’S in Hot Air Balloon (due to incident in 2005,the balloon was upside down in 2006 and they had to be removed)
I am going to watch the parade this year!
Love,
Jillian Tyrie from Long Island,New York

Chestnuts roasted by mimitchi33 @ 11/22/2007 8:50 AM

Who is fucking PUMPED for Thanksgiving? Who is watching the parade in an hour?

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 11/22/2007 8:56 AM

I’ll read this parade article after I read the others later on today.

The last month or so’s been pretty shitty around here. Last month, my grandmother had a very small stroke which she’s pretty much fully recovered from. But now my grandfather’s health has spiked sharply. He was in the hospital two days due to feeling really sleepy and having pains along his left side.

Turns out, he’s got some kind of mass around his left shoulder and there’s something on his liver. He spent last night home, and my Aunt’s down to help out over there, but still. We dunno how long he has. So the fact that he’s made it to Thanksgiving is pretty nice. He’s got alzheimer’s, so… ya know. Kinda lose-lose here. :/

I’ve needed a lot of reasons to laugh lately, so I just wanted to thank Matt and the community in general here on the site for providing wonderful distractions. I’m not much for turkey and the like, I loves me some buttered rolls. Accursed weaknesses.

So whether you’ve got a ridiculously big family or are rockin’ the Swanson’s today, have a good one. I know mine’ll be better now that grandpa’s well enough to enjoy at least one last holiday with the family. That’s my thanks right there.

Chestnuts roasted by ChibiSoma @ 11/22/2007 8:59 AM

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