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11/21/2007: The 1991 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!

Quick Note: I’m spending oodles of money on this year’s Christmas/Advent wares, so if you want to help me recoup some of that, there’s an easy way to do it. If you’re taking advantage of Amazon’s ridiculously good Black Friday deals this weekend, please do so using this link right here. I’ll get a little referral fee, and that will let me buy more wacky-flavored candy canes without having to give up gasoline. Thanks!


Ha ha ha ha ha! Technically, I am NOT late! Up now, with like 10 minutes to spare before it’s actually Thanksgiving, is my review of the 1991 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, filled with words, pics and video clips!

I must be honest with you: It’s the least interesting of the parades I’ve reviewed, and nothing exciting happens. In fact, after struggling to make the article go for at least two pages, I ultimately consolidated it into one longer page. There just wasn’t enough there. Next year, perhaps I should investigate things like this before it gets too late to pick a different parade.

On the other hand, it had Captain Planet, The Addams Family and, uh, Kelsey Grammer, and that’s at least good for something.

A Happy Thanksgiving to all who will be celebrating it tomorrow. Eat the food, drink the drinks and bask in the glow of a holiday season officially begun. Now that the bird parade is out of my hair, it’s time to paint this sum’bitch town red…and motherfuckin’ green. Holla.


While I’m here, I might as well knock this out of the way. I’m not sure if there’s anything to dislike about these neat little Play-Doh stocking stuffers, except for the fact that they’re sold together in really ugly plastic bags. If you’re able to convince yourself that they didn’t come in such ugly, useless bags, they become flawless.Each pack comes with two holiday-themed Play-Doh containers. One is shaped like an undecorated Christmas tree, while the other is a rather befuddled and egg-shaped snowman. You get white and red Play-Doh, while the containers themselves each host a small Play-Doh “cookie cutter”.

More interesting than any of this is the warning sticker on each container, alerting parents with allergy-laden children that Play-Doh contains wheat. This seems like a bold admission that most kids enjoy eating Play-Doh. Someday, they should just make outright edible, flavored Play-Doh and be done with it. We’re going to eat it anyway…it might as well have a hint of cherry and an ad campaign behind it.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 253 comments

That Gameboy commercial is adorable.

Ghosted by Ariel @ 11/22/2007 2:49 AM EST


Captain Planet?! I used to love the hell out of that show (I was only three years old in ‘91 though…why do I remember it so clearly?). By the way Matt, I am now scarred for life after seeing Captain Planet’s giant package.

Maybe I’ll try to focus on Scat Spidey for a while.

Ghosted by Frakkyfire @ 11/22/2007 3:08 AM EST


After three straight days of dreary, rainy weather, it actually snowed enough to cover the grass here in northern Illinois. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come this season (Come on, white Christmas!).

(Of course, we got a foot of snow on December 1st last year and after that we didn’t a single inch until a freak storm in APRIL!)

Ghosted by SleepDeprived @ 11/22/2007 3:09 AM EST


What I don’t get is why with all the allergy warnings on everything, how come I still have to read through all the ingredients looking for monosodium glutamate. I’ve honestly seen noodles that put a wheat warning, but don’t mention the MSG.
I didn’t get to the store. Now I have nothing to make for Thanksgiving :?

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 11/22/2007 3:23 AM EST


Yay! Let the eggnog drinking and Bing Crosby crooning begin.

Ghosted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 11/22/2007 3:37 AM EST


I’ve heard that companies are now hiding MSG in ’spices’ and ‘natural flavors’ and other generic ingredient label names.

Ghosted by Moony @ 11/22/2007 3:42 AM EST


I teach elementary school and have several kids in my class with wheat and peanut allergies. One kid’s wheat allergy (celiac’s disease) is so severe that if he gets the slightest speck of wheat dust on his hands and later into his mouth, his GI tract goes into shock and he’s got instant diarrhea for 4 days.

I also read in Newsweek once about a girl with a peanut allergy who went into anaphalactic shock after making out with her boyfriend who had eaten peanut butter about 12 hours earlier. She died as I recall.

Allergies are freaky stuff. I have to keep an Epi-Pen (an epinephrine syringe encase in a tube that you stab into the thigh) on hand at all times in case my student comes into contact with any peanut products. I hope to God I never have to use that thing.

Ghosted by Shelby @ 11/22/2007 3:46 AM EST


Sorry for the double post but how lucky is that kid who gets to ride in the TMNT cadillac?! Can’t believe no one mentioned that. I bet he was championed as a god up until high school for that one.

Ghosted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 11/22/2007 3:49 AM EST


Wait, I thought Raphael was bitching when her got out of Critters 3..

Ghosted by Cigar @ 11/22/2007 3:55 AM EST


Did anybody notice that Grandma Addams was referred to as “Grandma-ma”? I never knew that! I thought that term was only reserved for Larry Johnson in drag. Education is a cruel mistriss.

Ghosted by chrander @ 11/22/2007 3:56 AM EST


UGH. Motherfucking Rock A Doodle. This movie, Fern Gully, and some other crap on film were the three that made me want to do anything but my favorite past time (watching movies).

Also, does anybody ever watch Lupin III? There was a pretty good parody/homage to the Pink Panther in an episode from the Red Jacket Series. =P

Good post, Matt!

Ghosted by Ben @ 11/22/2007 4:03 AM EST


Despite being a boring parade, the review was awesome.

Scat Dance Spider-Man! Comes with everything you see here: Spidey-Phonograph, Skins, and interchangable Jazz Hands!

The Turkey-As-A-Pilgrim is Tom Turkey, who has been in every Macy’s Thanksgiving parade since before all of us were born. Speaking of which, I’m gonna miss tomorrow’s since I’m gonna go to sleep immediately after posting this, so could someone fill me in on what happened?

To make some people feel old, if you think being 11/12 in 1991 was a lame time, I was only 4 at the time, yet all the content seems relevant when I was 6 or 7.

But I do call it a missed opportunity for not including Ghost With The Most in the Turkey Drawing. Perhaps a spin-off?

You know that Parade was hurting for ideas when they use a Taz-Mania Float. Even back then I don’t think it was in the same Pantheon as TMNT and Captain Planet.

And on the whole Play-Doh thing…I’m pretty sure back in that blog post that listed the Hot Wheels Stocking Stuffer I mentioned eating Play-Doh and wondering why they haven’t made the actual stuff flavored? Gotta give credit where credit’s due :)

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/22/2007 4:10 AM EST


Sorry to double post, but I forgot to mention my experience with Rock-A-Doodle. I kind of liked it, but then again…I was like 6 when I saw it and haven’t really seen it since.

I have yet to see Secret of NIMH, but the original All Dogs Go To Heaven, Land Before Time, and the 2 Fivel movies (there are only 2 of these, damnit!!) are my favorite Don Bluth movies.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 11/22/2007 4:13 AM EST


I LOVE Don Bluth.

I’d say my favourite of his movies is Titan A.E.

All Dogs Go To Heaven, and An American Tail are close seconds.

Ghosted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 11/22/2007 4:25 AM EST


Have a great turkey day Matt and all fellow readers! …..and when i fall asleep from dinner tonite ill be dreaming of a mare whinningham christmas!

Ghosted by Jay B @ 11/22/2007 4:49 AM EST


It doesn’t look THAT bad. Any of the parades that got Bart can’t be.

Show some respect for the Taz-Mania float, people. I’m one of the few on Earth that own the series in its entirety (due to taping it when it was on Fox), and it’s classic. Taz is in that odd suit because it’s what he wore in his job as bellhop at Hotel Tasmania. And I want the Bullgator and Axl costumes.

If you have to pick on something, pick on that stupid Rock-A-Doodle float.

And I found another mistake: Matt misspelled “Kelsey Grammer” in the article. “Grammar” is something different.

Ghosted by Mars @ 11/22/2007 4:52 AM EST


Happy Thanksgiving, peeps.

Thumbs up, Bill, thumbs up.

Ghosted by Knegative @ 11/22/2007 5:19 AM EST


I don’t want people to roll their eyes at me for mentioning joox.net too much but I wanted to tell everyone something I think is kind of important well in the world of X-E that is.

joox.net today (and I know they get stuff off of the stage6 server but it’s a heck of a lot easier to navigate through joox and other sites that do the same thing) put up Ducktales the movie, and the Chipmunk Christmas from 1981.

Also while trying to find Charlie Brown Thanksgiving on youtube because I missed it (it’s hard to watch tv on Mon and Tues because it’s my best friend’s day’s off) and I found someone with a youtube account dedicated to uploading christmas specials of yesteryear. Most of them are easy to watch on ABC Family or some other channel, and some of them are pretty rare and are in good quality. Like Mickey’s Christmas Carol (that I talked about last week sometime but this is a better quality version) a Flintstone’s Christmas, The Muppet Christmas Carol, and others.

right here

I hope you guys are soaking in Thanksgiving and everything, earlier I listened to a station called rock Christmas on yahoo radio earlier for a couple of hours (honestly that was all I could stand) and it was neat! I didn’t know so many rock bands sang covers to classic christmas carols. Whatever. See you guys tomorrow!

Ghosted by Goob @ 11/22/2007 5:46 AM EST


HOLLA!

Ghosted by Halloweenghost @ 11/22/2007 6:14 AM EST


Happy Thanksgiving Matt! Thanks for the memories of 1991

Ghosted by knight @ 11/22/2007 7:48 AM EST


I remember this parade quite vividly….It may have been the first year I sat through the whole thing. But watching that Gameboy commercial, I’ve got two questions.

The guy playing the Gameboy…Is it just me or does he look alot like Sam Lloyd, the lawyer from Scrubs?

And what the fuck is with that hat the woman is wearing?

Ghosted by Browncoat @ 11/22/2007 8:33 AM EST


I liked Snoopy and Woodstock! I like the Santa Claus is brought to you by Nintendo bumper!
Also, Abby Caddaby and Hello Kitty are my favorite new balloons!

Ghosted by Toonygirl @ 11/22/2007 8:41 AM EST


I loved that parade! It was funny!
Can you upload the cotton “Fabirc of our lives” and Wendy’s commericals?
Three balloons are retiring this year.
They are:
Spongebob (due to height and the show getting cancelled in 2008)
Big Bird (due to popuarity of Abby Caddaby)
M&M’S in Hot Air Balloon (due to incident in 2005,the balloon was upside down in 2006 and they had to be removed)
I am going to watch the parade this year!
Love,
Jillian Tyrie from Long Island,New York

Ghosted by mimitchi33 @ 11/22/2007 8:50 AM EST


Who is fucking PUMPED for Thanksgiving? Who is watching the parade in an hour?

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 11/22/2007 8:56 AM EST


I’ll read this parade article after I read the others later on today.

The last month or so’s been pretty shitty around here. Last month, my grandmother had a very small stroke which she’s pretty much fully recovered from. But now my grandfather’s health has spiked sharply. He was in the hospital two days due to feeling really sleepy and having pains along his left side.

Turns out, he’s got some kind of mass around his left shoulder and there’s something on his liver. He spent last night home, and my Aunt’s down to help out over there, but still. We dunno how long he has. So the fact that he’s made it to Thanksgiving is pretty nice. He’s got alzheimer’s, so… ya know. Kinda lose-lose here. :/

I’ve needed a lot of reasons to laugh lately, so I just wanted to thank Matt and the community in general here on the site for providing wonderful distractions. I’m not much for turkey and the like, I loves me some buttered rolls. Accursed weaknesses.

So whether you’ve got a ridiculously big family or are rockin’ the Swanson’s today, have a good one. I know mine’ll be better now that grandpa’s well enough to enjoy at least one last holiday with the family. That’s my thanks right there.

Ghosted by ChibiSoma @ 11/22/2007 8:59 AM EST


Yeah, I’ll talk to my aunt about that. Maybe show her some cat and lady head-rub sex commercial… oh, wait, that won’t help my case any. hahahaha

Ghosted by Special K @ 11/22/2007 9:44 AM EST


I was going to watch the parade this year but I stayed up all night instead ’sigh’. The main reason I wanted to watch is because on of my online friends (not from here obviously) is actually in New York right now and went there for the parade. So kudos to her. See you when I wake up later today lol. My best friend works from 5 pm to 5 am so it’s hard for me to keep a stay up days sleep at night schedule. I am not working.

See you later! :D

Ghosted by Goob @ 11/22/2007 9:46 AM EST


Sadly, I don’t remember that parade at all. That may be due to the fact that we rented a SNES and a couple of games over Thanksgiving in 1991, and I literally had to be pried away from Super Mario World to leave for my grandparents’ house.

Ghosted by hamburger man @ 11/22/2007 9:49 AM EST


ChibiSoma: Sorry to hear your grandfather isn’t doing well :( I’m glad he gets to enjoy the holiday though.

dohopoki: Meeee! I’m counting down the minutes until parade time. I think I’m gonna be focusing on the CBS broadcast this year. I know it’s blasphemous, but it’s NBC’s fault for showing nothing but broadway crap. Plus CBS has Neil Patrick Harris and the stuff they usually put him through is hilarious.

Ghosted by jazzy @ 11/22/2007 9:52 AM EST


This past winter two online friends of mine sent me some of their mid 80’s – early 90’s tapes full with commercials. That gameboy commercial was featued during several eps of Simpsons, and I used to think that those WERE the original game boy commercials and gameboy was originally targeted to adults, thanks for clearing that up with me, Matt.

Ghosted by Anita @ 11/22/2007 9:53 AM EST


I wish just one of my 5 million CBS stations came in half as decent as my 1 NBC. I saw a bit of rehersals on NBC and they had what I think was Frankenstein fighting Pilgrims. That’s pretty kick ass.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 11/22/2007 10:00 AM EST


dohopoki

I’m guessing that would be scenes from Mel Brook’s new musical version of “Young Frankenstein”

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 11/22/2007 10:17 AM EST


Ah. I’m not up to date on musicals (legally blonde, really?) but I did hear about Young Frankenstein.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 11/22/2007 10:19 AM EST


MATT MATT MAAAAATT!!! Menudo….MENUDO on the parade!!!

Ghosted by Thejyav @ 11/22/2007 10:30 AM EST


Don’t have much time online today, read the blog piece and will get around to the article sometime soon but would like to wish everyone a

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Town’s christmas lights and tree is being switched on tonight and in between that, thanksgiving day football and going out drinking after the light switch on i’m really looking fwd to it.

p.s. GO COLTS!

Ghosted by Dan @ 11/22/2007 10:33 AM EST


Woah, did they just censor Elmo’s penis?

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 11/22/2007 10:40 AM EST


MTV has been showing the “Legally Blonde” musical lately. I caught it one time and it’s actually pretty good. I have yet to see either movie, though.

Jazzy: I was thinking of doing the same thing for the same reason. I’ll probably just flip back and forth between the two parades.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 11/22/2007 10:41 AM EST


Happy Thanksgiving!

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 11/22/2007 10:42 AM EST


What the hell is Abby Cadabby? I’m not pleased.

So far on CBS the only Broadway number I’ve had to sit through was from Spamalot. No complaints there. I’m disappointed that they’re actually being nice to Neil Patrick Harris this year though. Not that I have any beef with NPH; it just isn’t as fun if someone isn’t miserable and stuck interviewing kids who scream HAPPY THANKSGIVING 87 times.

Ghosted by jazzy @ 11/22/2007 10:46 AM EST


Giant Hello Kitty floating over New York shooting death ray beams out her eyes! Finally happened.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 11/22/2007 11:01 AM EST


Young Frankenstein just opened a few weeks ago in New York, and Mel Brooks is involved. In fact, it’s one of the only show running in New York during the stagehand strike right now.

Ghosted by Shuanfu @ 11/22/2007 11:09 AM EST


I am in love with giant Hello Kitty.

Dinner is going to be interesting this year, as I’ve just discovered the turkey doesn’t have the little pop-out thermometer thing. Also we had to improvise on the dressing because my mom FROZE the celery and thawed it. It was as droopy as a wet noodle so I had to throw it out, and we put onion in the dressing instead. I also added some boxed stuffing mix. I’ve always secretly hated our family dressing recipe, so I’m hoping this will actually be an improvement.

Ghosted by jazzy @ 11/22/2007 11:19 AM EST


“Up with People”, eh?
No comment necessary.

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 11/22/2007 11:24 AM EST


Coming out of my hiding spot on the blog to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!!

Ghosted by DarkSideofBrightness @ 11/22/2007 11:28 AM EST


Doho, that is funny!
The M&M’S float is on! After the parade is over,I will go to sleep for a few minutes.
Love,
Jilian Tyrie From Long Island

Ghosted by mimitchi33 @ 11/22/2007 11:29 AM EST


Up with people makes me think of Hooray for Everything on the simpsons first thanksgiving ep.

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 11/22/2007 11:30 AM EST


I loved on the sesame street song they managed to miss every solo shot. It’s cool they got their own song tho.

Ghosted by thejyav @ 11/22/2007 11:32 AM EST


Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Ghosted by jjwspider @ 11/22/2007 11:38 AM EST


Dural from virtua fighter?

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 11/22/2007 11:41 AM EST


Oh, come on. Rock-a-doodle wasn’t that bad. It was a children’s cartoon based around Elvis jokes and a Chaucer reference. Plus, the chicken characters were anatomically correct in that they don’t really have a swallowing reflex. In that one scene where they were relaxing on the weird vine-chair, she was leaning her head back and he was just pouring drinks down her gullet. Great stuff.

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 11/22/2007 12:09 PM EST


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