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11/21/2007: The 1991 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!

Quick Note: I’m spending oodles of money on this year’s Christmas/Advent wares, so if you want to help me recoup some of that, there’s an easy way to do it. If you’re taking advantage of Amazon’s ridiculously good Black Friday deals this weekend, please do so using this link right here. I’ll get a little referral fee, and that will let me buy more wacky-flavored candy canes without having to give up gasoline. Thanks!


Ha ha ha ha ha! Technically, I am NOT late! Up now, with like 10 minutes to spare before it’s actually Thanksgiving, is my review of the 1991 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, filled with words, pics and video clips!

I must be honest with you: It’s the least interesting of the parades I’ve reviewed, and nothing exciting happens. In fact, after struggling to make the article go for at least two pages, I ultimately consolidated it into one longer page. There just wasn’t enough there. Next year, perhaps I should investigate things like this before it gets too late to pick a different parade.

On the other hand, it had Captain Planet, The Addams Family and, uh, Kelsey Grammer, and that’s at least good for something.

A Happy Thanksgiving to all who will be celebrating it tomorrow. Eat the food, drink the drinks and bask in the glow of a holiday season officially begun. Now that the bird parade is out of my hair, it’s time to paint this sum’bitch town red…and motherfuckin’ green. Holla.


While I’m here, I might as well knock this out of the way. I’m not sure if there’s anything to dislike about these neat little Play-Doh stocking stuffers, except for the fact that they’re sold together in really ugly plastic bags. If you’re able to convince yourself that they didn’t come in such ugly, useless bags, they become flawless.Each pack comes with two holiday-themed Play-Doh containers. One is shaped like an undecorated Christmas tree, while the other is a rather befuddled and egg-shaped snowman. You get white and red Play-Doh, while the containers themselves each host a small Play-Doh “cookie cutter”.

More interesting than any of this is the warning sticker on each container, alerting parents with allergy-laden children that Play-Doh contains wheat. This seems like a bold admission that most kids enjoy eating Play-Doh. Someday, they should just make outright edible, flavored Play-Doh and be done with it. We’re going to eat it anyway…it might as well have a hint of cherry and an ad campaign behind it.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 253 comments

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First. Gobble gobble.

Ghosted by Mystie @ 11/21/2007 9:56 PM EST


I’m so excited. With Charlie Brown Thanksgiving banished to last night, I need something to get me psyched for tomorrow’s festivities! Tonight feels way too much like a normal Wednesday.

Ghosted by Lori @ 11/21/2007 10:05 PM EST


For some reason the picture of the Play-Doh containers made them look cookie jar-sized to me. Oh how my hopes were dashed when I clicked on the link to see how tiny they are in the bag.

Ghosted by Jerrod @ 11/21/2007 10:06 PM EST


Always look forward to these, even if Thanksgiving was a month and a half ago…

Ghosted by Darryl @ 11/21/2007 10:13 PM EST


Actually, some kids are so allergic to wheat that just touching wheat substances can bring on an allergic reaction. Debbie Downer info aside, the holiday season has arrived! *does happy dance*

Ghosted by FyarlGirl @ 11/21/2007 10:16 PM EST


Matt: you’re really kicking ass this season, thanks dude!!
Anyone else have trouble loading the blog for the last few days?
Happy Thanksgiving to all you yanks!

Ghosted by JoshC @ 11/21/2007 10:24 PM EST


Matt! The links to the commercial videos don’t work! They take me to the homepage instead!

Ghosted by Brandon @ 11/21/2007 10:31 PM EST


Brandon: Links fixed, thanks. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/21/2007 10:42 PM EST


“I don’t remember much about Rock-a-Doodle, because the sight of a rooster in an Elvis jumpsuit did nothing to stir my preteen angst. Research tells me that it was a major flop of a motion picture that nearly bankrupt everyone ever associated with it.”

You have no idea. This is the movie that makes Don Bluth fans cry at night. Up until a few minutes ago, I had no idea they made a float for it with terrifying costumes. Now i do and my life is the better for it. Great article as always.

And edible Play-Doh does exist! Sort of. (Click my name; it’s the fourth item they talk about.)

Ghosted by Theresa @ 11/21/2007 10:43 PM EST


#9?

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 11/21/2007 10:45 PM EST


I am so glad you added the whoa Joey guy. Does anyone else remember that awful “got nuthin my love cant fix” song he did about that time?
I also remember the Preferred Stock guy’s picture in many of my classmates locker for years

Ghosted by kb @ 11/21/2007 10:48 PM EST


Sorry for the DP, but I wanted to make a “#9″ joke, if anyone gets the Beatles reference. Looking forward to seeing the new article, and Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 11/21/2007 10:48 PM EST


Play-Doh tastes salty.

Ghosted by Hellpop! @ 11/21/2007 10:51 PM EST


Ha! It cracked me up when Willard referred to Katie as the son he never had.

I’m not so sure that the girl in the blue dress is really a guy. Actually, I think it’s hard NOT to look like a drag queen in that wig and dress.

My mom was actually addicted to my Game Boy. She was late picking me up from school once because she was so busy playing Tetris that she lost track of time. When we were purging our video game stuff last month, my husband offered her his Game Boy Color and she just kept saying, “Really?!” in complete disbelief. I guess the Boy’s still got it.

Ghosted by Lori @ 11/21/2007 10:53 PM EST


Hoverboard: “#9,#9,#9..” Etc…

Ghosted by JoshC @ 11/21/2007 10:54 PM EST


no stuffed mushrooms? Thanksgiving is ruined!

Ghosted by thejyav @ 11/21/2007 11:03 PM EST


thanks matt – great article as always

Ghosted by jamesiscoolbeans @ 11/21/2007 11:05 PM EST


Wow, I have not been on here in a looooong time! I’m Canadian but my family (Husband, Me and kids) are having Thanksgiving anyway, I’m making the dinner for the first time ever!…On to some reading!

Ghosted by IHAQ @ 11/21/2007 11:07 PM EST


Just made an emergency run to Target because my air mattress (which I use as a regular mattress) got a hole in it. I was gonna try and just keep reinflating it until after Thanksgiving, but then I was asking my mom where the stuffing mix was and she was like “Oh we don’t have any, just some breadcrumb stuff”. So I decided to make the trip tonight.

When I got back, I discovered the “breadcrumb stuff” WAS the stuffing mix we needed. Le sigh.

Hoverbored: Haha, oh man, that song used to drive me crazy as a kid. I’d leave the room in protest whenever it came on. Now it makes me feel like I’m slowly descending into madness. The bad kind of madness.

Hooray for new parade review! I’m actually glad it’s short, that way I get to read it tonight instead of tomorrow night after the real parade is long gone.

Ghosted by jazzy @ 11/21/2007 11:08 PM EST


Hi, Tetsu here.

Sorry, to go somewhat off topic.

But, if the person who saved my Thanksgiving last year (by sending me a copy of the parade) is reading this, please E-Mail me again at TetsuDeinonychus@hotmail.com.

I lost your E-mail address and there’s something I’ve been meaning to send you. :)

Ghosted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 11/21/2007 11:10 PM EST


Oooh, is what you have to send a turkey? That’d be awesome.

Ghosted by Jerrod @ 11/21/2007 11:15 PM EST


ALRIGHT!
Still looking forward to X-E’s review of the 1957 parade in 2013 when Matt has run out of material :) .

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 11/21/2007 11:26 PM EST


Happy Thankgiving everyone!

Not really on topic, but for those of you in the CNY area, the Auburn Wal-Mart has Christmas Crunch. I secured three boxes for myself the other day, in case I can’t find any next year…

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 11/21/2007 11:42 PM EST


I remember this parade. Not mentioned in the article but interesting to note: In honor of the 65th anniversary, two balloons from the 1960s (Happy Dragon and Linus the Lionhearted) were brought out of retirement to march in the parade.

FYI Linus starred in a 1960s Saturday morning cartoon that featured mascots of Post Cereals–one of whom was the more well-known Sugar Bear.

Also the Tazmania float appeared in the 1989 and 1990 parades as the Looney Tunes and Tiny Toons floats respectively.

Ghosted by Luap @ 11/21/2007 11:55 PM EST


Luap is correct. The Happy Dragon balloon was pretty cool.

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/21/2007 11:56 PM EST


Just read the article. It’s a great one, actually.

Strangely enough, I remember the commercials better than the actual parade. I wonder what year they started the “touch and feel of cotton” commercials, though. Those are the ones I most associate with the Macy’s parade.

Glad someone else on the Net likes Captain Planet.

Katie Couric kinda creeps me out, though.

Ghosted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 11/22/2007 12:08 AM EST


Cotton was, in some form, all over the commercial breaks for most of the Macy’s Parades that I’ve seen. In fact, there were a few different ones that aired during this parade.

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/22/2007 12:10 AM EST


I almost peed my pants when i read the line about spiderman doing some sort of “scat dance” seriously, i laughed for a good 5 minutes, and had to wipe tears from my cheeks afterward. on a side note, i AM making stuffed mushrooms woot woot. I was 6 when that parade was on, and i am going to force myself to watch the one tomorrow just to see how much it has changed (i havent watched the parade since 6th grade….I was too cool for that)

Ghosted by Leigha @ 11/22/2007 12:13 AM EST


PS-when i am bored, i sing the captain planet song in my head. i always wanted to be a planeteer.

Ghosted by Leigha @ 11/22/2007 12:14 AM EST


Ah Matt, my kids love to eat playdo…my wife bought some of the mini cans for trick or treaters and the leftovers became an afterschool snack……….

Ghosted by derek @ 11/22/2007 12:21 AM EST


I agree with that, why DON’T they have flavored, Play-Doh that’s marketed for eating?Everyone knows kids love that stuff.What Play-Doh, do you have too much pride?!Admit it Play-Doh, ‘fore i smack the hell outta ya!

Ghosted by BloodMist @ 11/22/2007 12:24 AM EST


Once again….another awesome article matt! I hope you and your family have a perfect Thanksgiving tomorrow!!

By the way…if you have some muscle figures you want to get rid of….e-mail me at Ghostseeker1@Yahoo.com!

Ghosted by Drunkin Skeptic @ 11/22/2007 12:31 AM EST


Wait… Christina Ricci hooked up with David Krumholz? Or Wednesday hooked up with Bernard? I’m confused.

And “head-rub sex” is now my favorite new phrase forever. I remember that commercial and how stupid I thought it was, like the commercial for Fancy Feast where the lady puts the cat food in a crystal dish. Whatever. My cats get paper plates.

Fantastic review, Matt! I hope everyone out there celebrating has an awesome day and enjoys their sugar-induced stupor as much as I will. Alone. Well, not alone as my parents and I are going to see family, but the fiance will be out of state at his family’s and I’m going to be all alone… and without X-E because my aunt blocks websites she thinks are porn. *sniffle*

Happy Tryptophan Overindulgence Day, everybody!

Ghosted by Special K @ 11/22/2007 12:53 AM EST


That “magic” intro by Harry Blackstone was the worst magic trick I’ve ever seen. I think, the lamer the parade, the funnier it is in retrospect. I was cracking up at this one, especially the line about Kermit being hungover from a night of drinking with Beaker. Also, chasing tequila with Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash isn’t very good.

Ghosted by BenS @ 11/22/2007 12:53 AM EST


I would take that parade over any in the last 10 years.
I think the names of the video files were the highlight of the article. WELL DONE!
I wonder who would win in a fight between Scat/Spiderman vs. “Air humping” Dr. Doom of the 1986 (?) parade. :)
Matt, the link to the Play-Doh warning sticker sends me to the cookie cutter pic.
Also, you were 12 in 1991, not 11. ;) :shock:

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 11/22/2007 12:57 AM EST


Special K, that blows. Wonder if you can sneak through using an anonymizing website.

I’m feeling pretty relaxed at the moment. I gave up making the stuffed mushrooms this year in favor of baby artichokes, but we couldn’t find baby artichokes. Last night, I finally caved and bought 24 full-sized arties and 1.79 a pop. They’re going to be a bitch to make, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/22/2007 12:59 AM EST


Manimal: I’m doing the math…hmm…I was 0 in November of ‘79. 1 in ‘80. 2 in ‘81. 3 in ‘82. 4 in ‘83. 5 in ‘84. 6 in ‘85. 7 in ‘86. 8 in ‘87. 9 in ‘88. 10 in ‘89. 11 in ‘90 — OHHHHHH SHIIIIT. Time for a ninja edit!

Ghosted by Matt @ 11/22/2007 1:01 AM EST


My personal favorite bit was how they spent, like, a full minute on still shots of Kermit from prior years. And just froze on that, without saying anything over it. Priceless.

I think that parade may have had some of the worst songs EVER. That Taz song is still stuck in my head. I consider it a punishment for some sort of Thanksgiving sin, like assembling the tree early or not having can-shaped cranberry sauce this year.

Ghosted by jazzy @ 11/22/2007 1:16 AM EST


LOL…I wouldn’t know how old I was in 2001 if you asked me.
So I guess articles aren’t Windows Mobile friendly lately. They’ve been okay in the past. Luckily the blog’s still fine :)
My mom had an edible play dough recipe (flavored with Kool Aid), but she almost never made it. Too much of a pain, or mess, I guess.
Our planned trip fell through, so now I’m left without anything to cook tomorrow. I should probably run out to the store before it gets too late.
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!!!

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 11/22/2007 1:21 AM EST


To Special K:
Have you ever tried explaining to your aunt that it’s not a porn site.

BTW I hope everyone here has the best Thanksgiving possible!!! :) :) :D

Ghosted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 11/22/2007 1:25 AM EST


FyarlGirl
A few years ago I listened to a mother on the radio talk about her son who was 18 at the time. He has a very severe peanut allergy if he literally smells the stuff he goes into shock. When he was about 10 years old he was walking down the hallway at school going to the bathroom and a class was having a party and they were all eating peanut butter cups and he went into shock walking past their classroom. He had to go to the hospital and they shot him up with some medication after that he carries it with him just in case. I remember the mother saying that she was trying to get a college that he wanted to go to to stop cooking with peanuts and take all of the steps to avoid peanuts on the campus and they thought it was ridiculous and she was terrified he was going to get severely sick or even die because of his allergy.

I am so glad I am not that kid, ever since I heard that I have tried to be grateful I am not allergic to anything (that I know of)

Ghosted by Goob @ 11/22/2007 1:29 AM EST


Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who won’t be here tomorrow!

I’ll be celebrating at a church tomorrow instead of with family (cat’s health limited that). Too bad they’d look at me funny if I brought MP Screamer along! :D

Ghosted by Moony @ 11/22/2007 1:30 AM EST


Great article Matt, to all the Xers have a great Thanksgiving and a great start to the hollidays!

Ghosted by mjsgrass @ 11/22/2007 1:37 AM EST


though we all know the Holidays really started on Haloween.

Ghosted by Mjgrass @ 11/22/2007 1:38 AM EST


It seems to me that Matt’s halloween rush got used on the blog posts and articles we had earlier this month… Ah well. Happy USican turky day.

Ghosted by DocDragon @ 11/22/2007 1:41 AM EST


I’m happy to know that even though I’m now 24 I still get a great big kick out of seeing that Game Boy and hearing “Brought you by Nintendo!” Hell Yes!!!

Did anyone else think the position of Santa’s hat+poor video quality=Santa wearing a Samurai bandana?

Happy Turkey Day everybody! I’m going to miss most of the parade because we have to leave town to go to my Godbrother’s, wife’s parents’ house at about 9am. Sucks. But I expect to live vicariously through you all by reading the comments later….

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 11/22/2007 1:42 AM EST


Man, I just got back from 18 hours of dropping meals for terminally ill cancer and AIDs patients. I have so much to be thankful for. New perspective on life.

Thanks Matt. Made my day after that.

I’m thankful for family, friends, health, freedom and X-E to remember where I came from. Happy Thanksgiving X-E’rs. I hope it is one to remember.

Ghosted by Bill @ 11/22/2007 1:55 AM EST


I read in a parenting book that peanut allergies are thought to be caused by being exposed to peanut products when you’re too young. The immature immune system mistakes the protein in peanuts for something bad and then over reacts which can cause shock and even death.

It’s worth researching if you’re planning to be a parent at some point.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! The site is rock’in this season.

Ghosted by MikeyD @ 11/22/2007 2:03 AM EST


MikeyD if that was true, you’d think it would happen a lot in Asian countries where they frequently use peanuts and peanut oil.

Ghosted by Moony @ 11/22/2007 2:15 AM EST


Oooohhh…. I got to go through a sobriety check on the way home from drinking! Thank God my driver never drinks, although she forgot her license. Oh what fun! I heard they now say the day before Thanksgiving is now the biggest drinking day of the year. I dunno about all that, though. What about New Years Eve?!

Ghosted by Mystie @ 11/22/2007 2:33 AM EST


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