Hell, I could go for some Holiday Spice Pepsi right about now, even though it tastes like gingerbready ass.

In any case, a few years back my mom went for a trip over to the neighboring province and the other members of the family were equally gone to some place or other, so I was effectively living the dream; owning a big house while paying no taxes on it whatsoever.

Now, I can cook, but I’m terribly lazy on the subject. Luckily for me Safeway had these awesome Safeway branded turkey pies. I loved them with there billions of calories per pie deliciousness. Because of this, they formed the cornerstone of most of my meals while sometimes fulfilling the role all on their own.

Now, it just so happens that this wonderful at-home-alone time was just before thanksgiving. So there I am at Safeway with a a few of the greatest microwavables possible, and some random other goods. I go to the checkout there and throw my goods ready to be paid for.

When it’s my turn to pay, the cashier (whom I vaguely know from my school days) looks at my stack of pies and says ‘Big thanksgiving planned?’ in some sarcastic tone.

At this point I’ve got to mention that my mom came home a few days later and it was turkey day as usual, but the cashier didn’t know this. What if it WAS my plans to sit at home alone eating turkey pie?! I would have been decimated and a human being!

I actually had completely forgotten about thanksgiving at the time she asked, but that doesn’t change the fact that she was a total bitch. I stewed about that for like, two days over my luxurious meals of turkey pies and random side dishes.

As a wonderful follow-up, about two years later she was fired for taking customers’ air-miles at checkout time and I laughed a great bitter laugh over her misfortune.

Best thanksgiving ever.

Also, there are what is called top up cards that have phone minutes on them are non refundable, and there are also two kinds of accounts you buy minutes for one every once in a while and one you have money automatically come out of your bank acoount (or something like a greendot card) every month

There are so many people that I had to tell them they wasted their money because a customer service person told them to get the card OR they thought the top up cards were appropriate. The stupid tax hurts sometimes. They didn’t realize (or they refused to) that you can’t get the cards because it’s supposed to automatically come out of a bank account. There were benefits to the one that automatically came out of their account like cheaper minutes and things like that. Of course the company wanted you to pick that one so they could get the money every month and not every few months. Everytime a successful transaction that I put in manually went through for the automatic account it set it up for it to come out that day the next month. And I didn’t handle the top up cards so if they had one they were going to get transfered and I would get a “why can’t you just do it I’m in a hurry!” I had to say I apologize Ma’am it’s impossible for me to do it!

I would tell people you can get the minutes on your phone ONE TIME but DON’T get that card again! Who knows if they listened. Maybe they liked the cards so much they acted stupid so they could get away with using them more then once who knows. But I know I talked to more then one person that spent 20, 50 or 100 on a card. I had a trac fone for a while and I knew the drill, it’s not too hard to figure out.

I talked to so many people that the day before was their expiration date on their service (they needed to buy more minutes that day or earlier to continue the service) and they asked me if they could get their mins back. I said if you called YESTERDAY then you would of been able to save your minutes!! Didn’t the sales guy say that to you?!? Did he tell you how this works!?! They pay for an extension in their service and minutes. The company has to have a shut off date or they would lose money. Imagine how many cell phones would have 15 minutes on them for example for years without that cut off date on them.

Talking to the sales guy on the phone is another subject a 10 year old kid has more brains and class then a lot of the people that worked at the store that I talked to.