Wow, this one took forever to put together. I know the topic of Sears Wish Books came up a few threads ago, and I had to bite my virtual tongue to avoid mentioning that they were going to be the topic of the next full-length article. So, here we are: The newest article covers six things I had and six things I always wanted from the 1985 Sears Wish Book, only that’s a lie, since the photos are actually from the ‘85 JCPenney catalog. Same difference, really.
I’m pretty certain that this will be a recurring feature, and I’m already chomping at the bit to dive into one of my catalogs from the early ’90s. Will probably do at least one more of these before the season goes kaput.
One of the featured items in the ‘85 catalog review is the “Million Color Drawing Set” from Clowny, the second most awesome crayon company in history. I didn’t get one back in 1985, but the set is important proof that no amount of time can end our chances of finally snatching the toys that “got away.” Thanks to good timing at a church fair sometime back, I now stand before you as the proud owner of what simply must be the last remaining Clowny “Million Color Drawing Set” in existence.
For those who don’t recall (or who weren’t alive), the basic gimmick with Clowny crayons was that most of them weren’t a single color, but rather a messy soup of dozens of colors. When you used the crayons, your line might’ve started off red before changing into yellow and finishing green. This didn’t make them practical for use with coloring books, but with crayons this wild, who wanted to paint within the lines?
The “Million Color Drawing Set” included three different types of Clowny crayons and a gigantic drawing pad. Now that I’ve seen the set, I can confirm that the drawing pad was only gigantic so they’d be able to justifiably use a box that made the set appear to be much larger than it actually was. Take away the pad, and they could’ve fit the remaining contents into even the smallest Ziploc.
The main stars of the show were the Million Color Stick and the Million Color Block. The former works like lipstick tube, while the latter is kind of neanderthalic and simple, but in a good way. I haven’t held a Clowny crayon in my hand for over twenty years, and what’s really hitting me most is the smell. Oh, that wonderful smell! Like stale clay mixed with construction paper, it’s just behind gasoline and coconuts as my favorite smell ever.
Also included with the set were ten Color Finger Tips, which let you doodle in crayon much in the same way that you would fingerpaint. I prefer the other versions, since Clowny crayons don’t feel like rightful Clowny crayons if they don’t look like the remnants of a Crayola 64-count box set ablaze.
My personal triumph in finally finding Clowny again notwithstanding, the years I spent praying for that triumph seems like a good segue into a survey. I’m sure we’ve done this survey before, but there must be some kind of reasonable statute of limitations when it comes to online surveys. In the comments, talk about some of the toys and other childhood items you always wanted, but never got.
Posted by Matt. E-mail me!
Ghosted by 
DJ DHahahaha.
BTW, anyone notice that that kid in the Tcats gear MUST be young Ashton Kutcher?