X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

10/19/2007: Mountain Dew Pitch Black NazIII.

I knew such searches would bear no fruit, but I couldn’t help myself from starting the requisite “Mountain Dew Pitch Black III” Google hunt several months ago, hoping and praying that the folks at Pepsi would see the error of their ways and bring back the only thing that could save this MISERABLE Halloween season.

If you’re new to this, I’ll explain. Three years ago, Pepsi introduced Mountain Dew Pitch Black — a purple, grapey wondercola meant to compliment the spookiest of all seasons. The following year, they broke the mold with Pitch Black II, revising the original formula with an extra sour bite. Grossly mismarketed as some kind of goofy hipster college drink, the drink flopped and ended Pitch Black’s tenure as a mass-produced soda forevermore. BUT, we got a small reprieve last year with Target’s Pitch Black II ICEE, which was just enough to keep me at a reasonably happy, no-need-for-suicide level.

This year, no such luck. Pitch Black is dead. Still, it doesn’t feel right to march through the month of October without paying tribute to the unholy wondercola in some fashion, and while my Google searches provided no information on any new versions or Slurpees or whatnot, they did give me one small glimmer of joy: A drink recipe that mixes Mountain Dew Pitch Black and Jagermeister.

And it’s a good recipe, too. Not only is it supremely simple, but its name is almost too offensive so say aloud in front of strangers.

You might be wondering how effective this recipe is when it calls for a soda that’s no longer being produced. It really isn’t a problem, because both the original and sequel versions of Mountain Dew Pitch Black are pretty easily found on eBay. So long as you’re okay with swallowing soda that’s technically too old to swallow, you too can offend select denominations sheerly by telling them the name of your drink.

I happen to own a stockpile of Pitch Black and Pitch Black II, and decided to go with the latter drink as it’s a little less ancient. As is always the case with Jager, you should leave the bottle in your freezer for as long as possible before making the cocktail. If you’re a stranger to Jager, picture drinking freezing cold grape cough syrup. That’s pretty much all it is.

The end result is a pretty, purple glass of something that honestly doesn’t taste so bad. The Pitch Black helps take the sting out of the liquor, so while it very much tastes like “Jager in soda,” you can at least take a sip without making “oh God” faces afterwards. I won’t be drinking this on any regular basis, but considering its ingredients, it’s perfect for October. Plus, what the hell else am I supposed to do with all of those leftover cans of Mountain Dew Pitch Black? I only needed one for display purposes.

It may be a little late for you to round up some of the Dew from eBay and get everything into a highball glass before Halloween, but I assume the recipe would be salvageable with plain old grape soda.

This isn’t exactly a step up from the Pitch Black goodness of yesteryear, but I’m still happy to bring a little dark Dew goodness into the season. Still wish Pepsi would reconsider their stance, though. One would imagine that the Internet is rife with virtual petitions in favor of a Pitch Black revival, but I felt it was my duty to contact Pepsi directly and tell them to treat me better.

And that’s how I met Lisa.

If you click into the HELP section on Pepsi’s official site, you’ll meet Lisa. Lisa is Pepsi’s “virtual representative,” who will respond to any and all questions with a series of cheeky, automated responses. She’s an excellent way to kill an hour, especially if you’re already feeling goofy from drinking two Black Nazis.

Maybe Lisa could help spearhead my movement to bring Mountain Dew Pitch Black back into the fold?

Lisa sucks.

Haha … Thanks for the laugh Matt. Nice end to a lousy week for me. = ) Is it just me, or is she more coherent than Dr.Sbaitso?

awesome. i have to say that i am impartial to the orange otterpop goodness of livewire, but i will be drinking grapico and jagermeister in pitch black’s honor.

Ha, I like Lisa. She’s no Virtual John Lennon, though. Q: Where’s my cheese? A: “The cheese? Why don’t you ask the cheese?”

Fucking hilarious! If I ever start a band I’m calling it “Hot Juicy Burger.”

I miss Pitch Black. I never tried Pitch Black II, but I really did like the original. Maybe we should start a petition to bring it back since Lisa was no help.

Wow, I want a Black Nazi really badly. It sucks that I can’t bring alcohol into my dorm (and I’m not about to sacrifice my college education for the sake of being drunk). Guess I’ll have to whip some up at a friend’s house.

Lisa is great! I tell her “Pepsi takes like piss.” Her reply?
“Great minds think alike! Thanks for sharing!”

Anyway, my mom sent me a link to a game called “Halloween Hangman” It isn’t bad, but it’s no M&M’s “ID the horror movie in a painting” game from last year.

Couldn’t you technically make your own? I’m not sure how, but I’m sure there’s some mixture of ingredients out there that would help. Maybe some grape soda, whiskey sour… uh… Someone help me out here!

To be honest, I wasn’t THAT big of a fan of Pitch Black…but it looks like it would be fun to bug Lisa about it. It’s fun to bug computers who can’t yell back.

I’m ready for Halloween, anyway. I picked up cat’s ears for my black cat costume at Wal-Mart today. They had a pretty decent Halloween section, with some great novelties. And yes, they have Christmas stuff out, but it’s WAAAAAYYYY in the back near the Home and Garden Center where no one but store associates go, anyway.

Another Pepsi Mountain Dew way to end the week thats cool. Today in the mail I received Pepsi Optimus Prime. I apparently won it from the Transform Your Summer sweepstakes. Here I thought I didn’t win anything, cause I was never notified.

I could use some of that. Would have made this scary godmother special on cartoon network even better. Gay skeleton guy is an ingenious joke by itself.

I don’t trust Lisa. She seems sketchy. Like she’s just learning enough of our language to talk her way into some nuclear arming codes and take her revenge on everyone who ever called her out on her Vampirella eyebrows.

Right now, on the Travel Channel, Most Haunted Live is at the Winchester Mystery House and will be there for another 6 1/2 hours. Come and watch with me, folks. This show’s always fun if you have a lot of people to talk about how silly it is!

Ask Lisa what she is wearing and she gives an awesome smart ass response. Now I know how to spend the rest of my Friday night! Surprisingly, I feel no shame macking on a simulated human customer service representative.

How in the world did I miss this soda?! I feel like I was left out of the cool crowd. I LOVE grape soda…and I’m very sad now

Lisa thought it was wonderful that I wanted to “drown her in a sea of Pepsi”.

I gotta go check out Lisa now…I’m eating some Ben and Jerry Willie Nelson Country Peach cobbler
ice cream…on a side note, it tastes like epic mixed with win, but but it would have been better without good ole Willie’s mug staring at you…its like he’s a weird old pedo or something

Special K: Er…hurrah? I actually try not to think about eyebrows too much, because if you spend to much time on it the concept just gets too weird. Little strips of hair out in the middle of an otherwise hairless expanse of skin so that other people can see when you’re quizzical? Who the hell came up with that one?

Jedoc: I meant that lightheartedly. But I do have the naturally peaked eyebrows. haha And I asked a professor once why we have eyebrows and he said it had to do with keeping sweat out of our eyes. I’m not sure he was an expert on the subject. lol Either way, I’m thinking of shaving mine off.

If I could say one thing, is that Jack LaLanne looks damn good for being 130 years old.

But all he’s known for these days is that damn Juicer infomercial. At least you actually see it working, and they don’t fake with them screaming “It’s whisper quiet!” over the loud buzzing it makes when the fruit is being juiced.

Although it does make a really kickass Halloween sound effect. The BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ coming from nowhere.

“Aah, it’s the mad Juicer!” the children screamed as they were tormented by Good Helth pimped out by a muscular 130 year old man wearing a red Addidas Jumpsuit like Ben Stiller & his kids in “The Royal Tannenbaums.”

Hate it when that happens, when your marshmallow falls off the stick? Especially moreso if the cat eats it?

If anyone watched Drawn Together last night, Frankenberry played a major role in the episode (it was about Cereal Mascots)

Stupid chick can’t tell the difference between Pepsi Holiday Spice and Pepsi Vanilla. BAH!

I met Lisa in my quest for a renewed Holiday Spice. Matt, I wish I had your quick wit. I just said that she sucks.

Good call about Dr. Sbaitso, Monte. Someone should bring up the subject of Dr. S with Lisa and see where it goes.

Am I the only one who thinks that Lisa bears a slight resemblance to Michael Jackson?

I think the girl from the Disney hotel commercials would be a better fit for Pepsi. I hate the disgusted look she gives you when you get too personal. It’s not like she is that great looking herself.

Okay, I’m awful, I haven’t been on X-E in a few weeks, much less posted. However, I’m playing catch-up now! So, I am a little tipsy, and not caring too much about the “Transformers” movie that we’re watching, so I decided to ask Lisa some questions. And this question…
Do lesbians drink Pepsi?
Got this response…
Well, my programmers do feed me a lot of information and I love drinking Pepsi. But enough about me, how can I help you today?

Okay, so I decided to have a little fun with Lisa myself. I started off with normal questions:

What’s your favorite color?
I’m just a computer program. We don’t have favorite colors.

So now I’m convinced that Lisa is now my bitch. And I’m sick, so this is 10x funnier to me than to anyone else in the house. Oh, wait… I’m the only one here. Boo.

I asked Lisa what the speed needed to achieve orbit was and all she told me was 6. That can’t be right…..is it? Because then I have to walk slower.

i’m sitting here waiting for an online midterm to be posted, so of course i’m going to waste some time and go talk to lisa.

for the past twenty minutes, lisa and i have been discussing the discontinuing of the mint flavored frappuchino from pepsi’s starbucks line. she claims she’s trying to help me but anytime i use the word mint, she insists on talking about pepsi vanilla. THEN i told her she really didn’t seem qualified for the position and i swear to god the picture rolled it’s eyes at me and said “oh yes- way!”

What I like the mot about lisa there is how her expressions changed when you said different things. Imagine bringing her in to take photos and having the actress act out all of that!

According to a photo of an ancient Mountain Dew bottle on Wikipedia, the original slogan was “It’ll tickle yore innards!” That’s just awsome.

I just asked if Lisa was related to Dr. Sbaisto… She dodged the question. Seems suspicious if you ask me… Sbaisto came to us in what, 1981? Lisa certainly looks old enough to be Sbaisto’s daughter or something.

Special K, you might want to think twice about that. I’ve heard they don’t always come back.
I just love that commercial when everyone is kicking trees. I feel like I’ve had days like that.

I asked her why they used Britney Spears in an advertising campaign and Lisa wouldn’t stop talking about Britney. But MAN do I want some root beer now…

I know that this is kind of late in the month to bring this up, but… I read the post about how you’re not in the “spirit” of things this year, and kind of sapped for ideas about posts. Well I know that a few years back you put out a playlist of “Halloween-y” songs that put you in the mood or just reminded you of the holiday. For the sake of making a new post that might just revive your spirit, why not revive/revise that playlist and update it some? Might kill two birds with one stone on that one.

mjgrass, can I sell your Vampire Vitality at my pizza place? The… one I… plan to open in the undetermined future?

It will cater to a niche market: College kids and night owls. It will only be open from 10PM to 6AM. I plan to dub it Vampire Pizza. The commercials will be about our awesome sauce!

Someone has to do it. It’s 12:30AM and I want pizza but nobody’s open. I call shenanigans on that malarkey! So pizza has to wait 11 more hours, sadly.

Someone explain to me how Baja Blast is still around, but Pitch Black II isn’t.

It’s like Dr. Sbaisto Pepsi style. I tried Pitch Black II because of this site, and I just am not a fan of grape I guess, because I never bought it again. I also never found Summer Pepsi Mix, or whatever it was called. I am hopeful for a new winter soda this year.

Stephen Colbert was just saying on his show that there’s a war on Halloween, and it’s being fought by the environment (the reason being that there’s a pumpkin shortage this year due to the weather.)
Everyone, pray to Jack Skellington to pull some Halloween miracle!

Lisa just seemed too damn helpful that I got bored. I try to confuse her and she kicked my ass.

I just spent a 9 hour shift at the mall 1. hauling boxes and boxes of christmas garlands 2. untangling said garlands 3. Pulling off all of the christmas lights, laying them out on the ground and plugging them in. Then i did a little happy christmas dance, crushing several bulbs in the process..but thats okay because then i got to replace the little lightbulbs. I couldn’t believe what I was doing and its not even Halloween yet.

ChibiSoma If you got REALLY desperate you could go to someplace like 7-11 or walmart (our walmart is open 24 hours) and get a take and bake pizza. Sometimes you crave what you crave and it’s frustrating when you don’t get it.

You gotta love the AI virtual question pieces of crap. I heard some companies use them as part of their customer service. Sucks, but I bet the people that made Lisa had a kick putting all of those responses in.

I like her “please stop that” pose.
And she should have her look when you say you are pretty when you ask about pitch black soda.
And when you say coke rules and she has that one look it’s like a know it all look. Wtf girly.

What I would ask her (and after I post this I shall try) is why the HELL did my local taco bell stop selling raspberry ice tea??!?! I used to make a balance of half lemonade and half raspberry tea now I make it half root beer and half disappointment. And my best friend is always pissed when they sell only pepsi beverages at restaurants because he drinks diet coke most of the time.

I will try to visit Target Monday or Tuesday (those are my best friend’s days off) but he is used to staying up all night (he works from 5pm to 5am) so that sucks when Target closes at 9 or 10 at night. But he promised to take me there before Halloween so we have to go. I might get some grusesome grape and try to make it in my mind pitch black. A girl can dream right? Later.

CMJ, you’re not the only one who thought that! Its like they pasted her face on someone else.

Wow, that seems like an awesome drink to make at the bar I work at for Halloween night. Maybe I can get the boss to finance the Pitch Black purchase.

Tis a shame they’re not planning on reintroducing it, they’re missing out on a good cash crop. I’ve got a feeling they will by 2010, just a feeling.

Off to buy my party prizes and last minute decorations today, hopefully it’ll give me that added kick of halloween fever, we’ll see.

T-Minus 4 hours until Papa John’s goodness. I dunno if it’s everywhere on the same day, but here it’s Customer Appreciation Day! Five bucks gets you a large cheese, pepperoni, or sausage pizza. Their original (hand-tossed) crust, which is my favorite anyway.

I have friggin’ been wanting some good Papa John’s all week. But I had enough self control to wait just because I was craving… but not 12 bucks of it. XD

Accursed night owl nature. Nothing decent is open in the dead of night! Frozen pizzas just won’t do, else I’d have thrown the DiGiorno in the oven. :3

I just asked Lisa for her age and she told me she was created in 2002. I then asked her if that made me a pedophile and she said, “Sure, just call your local Pepsi bottler and they will be happy to assist you.”

YEAH! ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!! I can only hope that every entry from now on contains alcohol. Is your life that empty and meaningless that you have to drown your problems in that garbage? It certainly appears that way.

I kinda figured that when they introduced the Mountain Dew Game Fuel we’d be pretty hard pressed to get that AND Pitch Black this year. Fuckers…

But hey! Good news! I was in a CVS in Wisconsin-somewhere yesterday and I found the CHRISTMAS version of The Charlie Brown Prowling Pumpkin Patch thing! I took a picture! Here:

And better yet! They had a Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer version of it, too!! I now require this one, simply because of Cornelius and the Abominable Snowman. Here’s a picture of that one:

They were both retailing for $19.99 each. ZOMG I want them. CVS’s Christmas stock is taking overrrr

And here I thought internet trolling was as empty and pathetic as it gets. Oh wait, I forgot “meaningless”. So I guess entertaining people: meaningless::anonymous trolling:pathetic.
Speaking of Stephen Colbert, does anybody have an idea where to find that awesome Dracula pen he used the other night? The one with the googly eyes? It was so cool.

Brian, darn you for making me lust after Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer stuff before Halloween! I must have that!

HOT JUICY BURGER! I loved that, seeing as I’m obsessed with winning free burgers for life from hotjuicyburger.com. I’ve already been a daily winner and won a free burger. If anyone checks out the site and registers, I’d appreciate your vote (my nickname is setlori).

I got bored of being obnoxious to Lisa and decided I’d try to pump her for all the Pepsi information I could. When I asked her if there were any new products coming out, she gave me the legitimate answer that they were always creating new products, but the picture made it seem like I was annoying her for asking the question. It’s like she wanted to say, “Your grocery store has a whole aisle devoted to Pepsi products and that’s not enough for you?” I think she had an attitude because the X-E’ers had been giving her crap all night.

Last week I whipped up a drink using the recently re-released Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash with vodka, and peach schnapps. It was pretty good - with its cran-peachy flavor.

Me: “Who would win: Darth Vader or Krang?”
Lisa: “Check out the rules and you will find instructions to request a copy of the winners list!”

If you’re really jonesing for Pitch Black take grape soda and mix it with regular Mountain Dew

As much as love anything created specifically for halloween I can’t help but hate anything grape flavored so I don’t miss Pitch Black the soda, I miss Pitch Black the display.
Guess I’ll go bug Lisa for awhile now.

So I’ve been talked into going two-stepping this evening at what sounds like an extremely charming establishment known as “The Wormy Dog.”

I think at this point we can safely say that I regret every choice I’ve ever made.

Well, I’m happy to announce that if you ask Lisa, “Do you guys pee in the Mountain Dew?” she responds with a big smile and, “You betcha! For more information, just look on the web page I’ve displayed!”

Going to the NC State fair tonight. Maybe they’ll have the ‘Fried Coke’ that I missed out on last year. Though, people that did have it last year didn’t say it was great, just he novelty of having coke in fried form should be interesting.

Since Savage Steve Holland will soon be back directing feature films, Matt should let his cats do an article about Eek! The Cat.

How about mixing one packet of unsweetened grape Kool-Aid with an appropriate amount of Mountain Dew? The only trick is to figure out how much soda for one packet. I may just be on to something. When I figure out the right formula, I could have bootleg Pitch Black all year ’round! BWA-HA-HA-HAAA!! *thunder and lightning*

Special K - call me crazy, but have they released Rudolph action figures? I feel like I’ve seen them…in a similar style/scale to the Charlie Brown ones at CVS now? Cause I really want some.

And I’m not sorry for making you lust after them before Halloween…i need SOMEONE to convince me I’m not crazy for wanting it just as badly

Brian, indeed they have. Really nice ones, actually, covering just about every character imaginable.

Note: I am trying desperately to pretend Christmas doesn’t exist because I’m already feeling THAT and it’s still October.

As soon as I posted that I went on a desperate man hunt (read as: google and ebay) and found “Casual Santa” (pics!) and laughed and now pretty much require him.

I know Target and Wal-Mart already have their usual Rudolph ornaments and malarky up…Wal-Mart’s version of Casual Santa in ornament form is already been bought and is waiting for me to get home from tour and set up my Christmas tree.

Being broke over Halloween fucking sucks, I haven’t gotten to do much festive rejoicing. But tonight I’m scraping up the little money I have and going to see the ballet version of Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I can’t see how this could possibly be bad.

Wow, I finally found a way to creep into the blog for a few minutes. I’ve been at my new place for 2 weeks now and still haven’t gotten the router/adapter card situation sorted out, so no internet in my room for me for now. So, I’m doing this from work.

I just hung out with Lisa for a while and asked her if she had ever had a Baja Blast up the skirt. Her response was, “What’s not to like?” Lisa’s such a hussy.

Man, after putting so much money into car repairs lately, I don’t have much left over to do a massive Halloween shopping spree this year. I was so looking forward to putting together a Halloween Mood table and throwing some spider webs around. Maybe I can find some money in the budget to do a little something around the house, just for me. I’m going to a party next weekend and got asked today what I was going to do for a costume. My plan was to go as Charlie Manson and have some girls follow me around and sing, but I don’t think it would fly at this particular party. I don’t think most of the folks there will even know who Charlie Manson is–buncha young’ins.

I miss Pitch Black! On the bright side I’m sick as hell and amused myself by asking Lisa if she’s ever been with a woman. Sadly, she didn’t seem willing. Maybe a couple Black Nazis would lower her inhibitions? (Good Lord that sounds offensive!)

You rock, Matt! Sorry you’re not feelin the season but we all love ya just the same.

I’m seeing Blade Runner: Directors Cut at the AMC on 42nd street tonight.
Happy SNT!

Now that sounds like a title for a exploitation film: “He was the baddest mutha around, but not even his woman knew he was a…. Black Nazi!” On a bill with a low budet kung fu movie about conjoined twin martial arts masters. “The Fury of Double Chin.”

Jessica Marie reminded me of something. I have a copy of Seaman for Dreamcast. When I got it I was toying around with it. Let me explain, seaman is a game where you have a mike attached to your controller and you raise a fish (it turns into a frog later) that has a man’s face on it that talks to you. It’s quite a interesting game, you have to babysit the fish daily but he talks to you and tells you his observations of the world. He asks you questions as well like where you stand politically, are you married, how old are you, what you hair color is etc. and tells you what he thinks of you. Talking about the game makes me want to play it right now lol

Anyway when I was playing around with the game, I said some vulgar things to him like you suck I hate you etc. and he pouted and said well then I don’t want to talk to you either or something to that effect. Well the next day he was still pouting and the next so I restarted the game. It kinda sucked and it wasn’t worth making him mad at me

Oh yeah another thing, this video got me into the Halloween spirit. This might be scary movie night for me, I’ve been putting off watching scary movies and this might be the night that I really g o to town.

Halloween Awakening
Click here
After watching that movie, trust me, go follow the stop motion carving pumpkin videos and rotting pumpkin movies. It got me pumped and I was barely pumped before.

I also found (if you haven’t watched this yet)
Redub of it’s the great pumpkin charlie brown
Click here

Oh man, that’s so rad. I’d so get a can of Pitch Blacl to recreate that if I didn’t already have 11 packets of Ghoul-Aid ready to be mixed with gin and vodka. I call it the Ghoulie Andrews.

Saw “30 Days of Nights” today and it is a great movie (and the graphic novel is good too). Hopefully it will revive the vampire genre the way the zombie genre was revived a few years ago.

I didn’t realize people drinked jaeger in anything. I always thought it was something that you just drank shots of in order to get expedite the getting of fucked up.

Oh, and Steve … that no drinking in the dorms thing … in most colleges they *say* they’ll toss you out of school, but you have to be nailed like 6 or 7 times before it actually happens. Your first offense usually only gets you sent to Alcohol Awareness class, where you get taught how not to get caught again. Unless, of course, you’re going to one of those nutty clean-living, teatotalling schools that’s named after a Christian minister.

Matt: very cool article man.. we just put out our glowing skulls on the front lawn…. my wife has the weekend off and suddenly she is filled with the Halloween spirit.. she also has been pricing hay bales and corn stalks and wants to put out a scarecrow in the front yard.. lol and she even moved the x-mas decorations (out since last year) and put up all the Halloween ones we had.. it’s finally arriving woohoo..

in our dorms you could drink as much as you damn well pleased as long as you didnt break any laws or wake up the whole building.

Lisa says that it’s alright
When she needs to be alone at night
Lisa says that she has a lot of fun
And she’ll do it with just about anyone.

Stupid Pepsi. They should know that I specifically switched to Coke because of this whole Pitch Black thing. God damn the pusher man.

I feel like going to eat at Taco Bell, but I don’t want diahrrea. What should I do?

mezzanine, pick up some Imodium on the way. When you gotta have Taco Bell, you just gotta have it.

I actually settled for Subway. I think the recovering drug addict who made my sandwich spat in it though.

Got the Squidbillies DVD tuesday, and it’s a great, hilarious set. Well worth it for the Halloween ep alone (especially the ending, where Granny has the OCD monster turn into Hank Williams Jr), although the other ones are equally as awesome.

I finally got cable after a six month self imposed lack of. First thing I did was turn on VH1 classics…and they were playing pop up video! So, I guess it’s worth the sixty bucks a month.
mezzaine-at least you get to see them spit in your food at subway where as at Taco Bell they can do that in private.
Happy SNT! (if this is it)

Okay, I really don’t want to do three alcohol-related blog entries in a row, but I found the most amazing stuff tonight. If anyone else has seen it, I’m sure they’ll immediately know what I’m referring to.

Damn you all! I haven’t had a sip of alcohol since they started me on my new meds in March….March! 7 months and not one beer….all this alcohol talk….oh well, at least I have some prescription painkillers I guess.

Watched “We Own the Night” tonight…. I give it 7/10, Joaquin Phoenix was the best part, and I am a die hard Marky Mark lover- Mark is my man, but Joaquin killed it.

Matt: lol probably don’t have it here in the Canuck stores Matt :P.. spill it.. or email it lol if you don’t want to kill the surprise…

As a freshman in college matt… I will worship you for another reason to drink. My entire floor is hooked on Black Nazis after finding a guy two halls down who had a 12 pack of Pitch Black 2. He also had 10lbs. of Dry ice but he’s a cool guy like that.

Amazing booze, likely to be in Canada? Something Clamato related, maybe?
I just spent the night watching The Search for the Next Elvira on Fox Reality. The judgment panel was composed of Elvira, Rick Baker, Kane Hodder and a couple of “Manviras”. Honestly I don’t really see why they need to find another Elvira, but it was pretty entertaining.

i caught the elvira show as well.. not too bad, i like that they seem to cut to the chase pretty quickly, this is my first time ever seeing it and i think they’re already down to the final episode!

I wanted to make some Black Nazi tonight, but sadly neither the soda nor the Jager were mine.

I also am utterly repulsed by Jag….
On the 3rd of July my friends and I went to a club where they had $1 Jag shots.
I loved it at that point.
The bartenders started doubling our shots (my friend and I are not unattractive); I remember having 8 double shots. Asking for a water, he tried tossing the bottle to me, I of course drunkly fumbled it.
I then remember a couple more shots. I saw Linda throw up on the dance floor… I made it to the stall.
I remember a bouncer coming in to the bathroom and carrying me out.
Our DD had the bouncers carry me and Linda out to the car. I threw up on the side of her car, and that’s all I remember. (The whole night was definitely among my most shining moments). That is, until about noon on the 4th, when I started throwing up disgusting red bile. This lasted until probably 6 or so pm.
I didn’t do any drinking that night, or for quite awhile after.
Still, months later, the smell of Jag makes me gag.
Wow, I’m a poet!

You’d think 8+ double shots of just about anything is enough to make one vomit.

Feel free to keep writing about alcohol, Matt. It’s getting me in the mood for my Halloween party Friday. ;D

Yeah, I’m sure that it was the quantity, not the Jag persay.
Still makes me repulsed by it, though.

Mountain Dew Pitch Black
Ingredients:
carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup and/or sugar, citric acid, natural flavors, sodium benzoate (preserves freshness), caffeine, sodium citrate, gum arabic, ascorbic acid (to protect flavor), red 40, calcium disodium EDTA (to protect flavor), brominated vegetable oil, blue 1

Also there’s a rumour that some ingredients in Mountain dew can decrease sperm count. This hasn’t been proved. Also some people say that the “yellow 5″ can cause allergic reactions to some people when you drink it.
The food and drug organisation say that this drink may have levels of benzene in it which are dangerous, but there has yet to be an investigation into this.
Diet mountain dew also contains aspartame which has been blamed for causing cancer. In a recent study, rats which were given aspartame developed cancer. However it is still unsure if it definately is a huge concern. I mean, diet coke also contains aspartame and that is sold multinationally in it’s millions so I guess it can’t be that much of a problem.
Mountain dew contains bromine vegetable oil and apparently this results in adverse health risks.

If you scroll up and down in a little spot on the scroll bar at the Lisa’s pictures area real fast it acks like a flip book…Lisa happy, lisa sad, lisa mad, lisa sad, lisa mad, lisa HAPPY!

Guys - Monster Mini Golf is so rad, I highly recommend a round if you have one nearby. It’s probably not worth driving two hours to do, but it’s really everything you would expect indoor, black-light mini-golf to be: loud 80s/90s music, giant winged demon statues, blacklight murals… it was like stepping into the art of a 90s trapper keeper.

Randomness….
But, here in Colorado, yesterday’s high was 80 degrees, today’s is forecast as 37.
We’ve had sleet already this morning, with snow and rain showers all day.
Gotta love the way global warming is f-ing around with the weather!

Sorry to dp…
But, at the moment we’re getting what has to be one of the coolest words EVER:
Thundersnow!

Thundersnow. Yeah that does sound cool. That would be a great action figure sidekick dog’s name. I didn’t know how else to describe that.

Lisa disconnected me for excessive use of profanity, but she suspiciously dodged the question when I said, “I saw Pepsi molesting children.” Very shady…

Heh, Raechel, at least you had a DD, that’s the important thing. My Jager drink of choice has always been the Bumble Bee. Maybe I just love that little bear on the Barenjager bottle.
The weather forecast says it’s going to be back up into the NINETIES next week :mad:. Insanely hot, but I guess the wind might provide some relief, based on the number of broken ashtrays in the yard this morning.
Comedy Central is playing Shaun of the Dead next Saturday in the Secret Stash. Not until 1 am though, so maybe a little late for the SNT.

Oh Boy! Jager stories!
I’ll keep it short and sweet.
My friend Trent knew the Bartender really well, ok cool. Next stage, he ordered the BOTTLE of Jag. ok
cool. Suddenly I’m flying down I-10 with my head out of the car puking my guts up.
“Where’s my shirt Trent?”
“Lost it in a pool game bet my friend.”
Ah. Raaaaalllppphhhhhhh.
I’ve waited tables a lot since then, all I have to do is smell the stuff at the bar and my stomach does double back flips with a full twist.

Speaking of artificial intelligence, on the Paul McCartney one:
me: fuck you
Paul: that’s a silly question, and I can’t answer that.

How’s it going? I’m okay i guess, had a pretty shitty year, but things are looking up.
The room is lit with an amber light, the heater is warming the chill from a low breeze fed from the lake. all around is pretty quiet on a normally noisy evening. I’m having a break right now and wondering if i need to get more stuff together, i know in a few days i have bills to pay and I still wish to buy at least 2 more pumpkins and some paper for decoration making. I need sharpies. oh, if you’ve got a dreamcast goto: http://dreamcast.dcemu.co.uk grab the ISO and check it out!

squee4242: Man, I didn’t know that the Elvira thing was on already. I remember reading about it a while back but didn’t know when/where it was going to be on. Too bad my roommate has super duper cheap cable and doesn’t want to spring for the good stuff. I only have around 40 channels tops, but they do include all the science channels and Cartoon Network, so that’s good. I just moved there about 2 weeks ago but I think my current plan is to try to move out right after the new year. I don’t know that I’ll ever have internet connected in my room at our place and I really want descent cable. The only time I ever have any net access is here at work, and that’s drving me nuts. Well, that and I just REALLY want my own place for once.

On the plus side, I might be able to squeeze some money out of my tight budget to get some Halloween shopping done…around the 30th. One day before Halloween’s not too late, right? I’ll end up leaving up most of the decorations around all year anyway. Plus, my b-day is 2 days after Halloween anyway, so I can get some good after holiday deals with b-day money.

Matt: Stop teasing us! What’s this whole mystery drink you’re on about? Give us a hint!

ugh, the last thing i need to see is alcohal today….but the drink does sound really really good…then again i’m in love with Jager.

On the topic of Jager & Jagerbombs, I present to you the most popular youtube vid at my college:

My New Haircut. I’m pretty sure it’s only funny to us in the LI/NYC/NJ metro area, but funny nonetheless if you know any Guidos.

I just told ‘Lisa’ that Pepsi Twist tasted like lemon furniture polish. Her reply was classic.

“Great minds think alike! It’s a great new soft drink and I”m glad you shared your thoughts with me. I’ll be sure to pass them along to my friends at Pepsi.”

Aika lol!! The answers she answered to me were funny too I made a video of it. I was surpised noone else made videos of Lisa. Most of the things in the internet world there are like 20 videos of on youtube at least.

This is the video
And subscribe to my channel. Ok I’ll probably never ask that again here it’s tacky.

Invader Norbert Funny video! I kinda wanna make videos like that. If everything goes well I am getting a camcorder this week. I hope Bill sees that video he made a blog post about guys like that on his blog. I honestly liked the dude’s haircut but if I met him I wouldn’t hand my pussy over to him (like he says on the video!! LOL!) because of his haircut!

Hello everyone! Sorry to not post in a while, but I’ve been busy with work, playing Jedi Academy, and watching old Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad videos. On Friday I bought a new video MP3 player to replace my broken one. Now I can watch AVGN on the go!

One more post before I go to bed. A and I quote “really tasty Halloween party drink”

Matt: having gone through the ‘whats new’ on nbliquor.com webste, I’m now going to have to go and canvas my local liquor store to see what pops out :P.. its like a halloween version of an easter egg hunt!… Halloween Pumpkin Guts hunt?

Goob: back about 10 years ago when I used to club all the time, the local hotspot had those shooters called “brain hemorrhage”… exact same as the one you posted. They were deadly.. the fun part was feeling the ‘brain matter’ slide down your gullet. No matter how much you knew it was bailey’s, when you were that drunk you still got that queazy feeling..

Lisa is amusing. I like getting original responses from her. I’ve asked her the meaning of life, her last name, if she’s single…
Lisa has a one track mind though, its Pepsi all the time.

Perchance is it the Budweiser / Clamato combo? I about threw up on the Bodega fridge upon seeing that one.

The only thing that gets me in the Halloween Spirit is Part III of Matt’s review of The Worst Witch.

“Everything that ever existed is somehow represented in this video, so for the rest of your life, everything you look at is going to remind you of Tim Curry. Think about that. Wherever you go, until the day you die - every waking moment - it’s all going to be Curry-ized. That’s pretty fucking sobering.”

Muppet Baby: I feel your pain. I remember when I couldn’t drink when I was on my Crohn’s meds. I ignored that advice, drank heavily at a work outing (I work with a bunch of functioning alcoholics. It makes for a nice atmosphere.) and paid the price for about a week on end. I think I’d lost about ten pounds when all was said and done.

Matt: C’mon man, please do pass on this wonderful new alcohol-related experience. Is it some mixer with Jones holiday soda? Or a Jones malt beverige? Pumpkin-flavored beer?

So I’ve got the day off, it’s cold and drizzly outside, I’ve got a large mug of Baileys coffee, and I fully plan to spend the rest of the day watching horror movies on Netflix. Things are rapidly converging towards an awesomeness singularity.

I’m finally putting up the decos at home this week. The weather got all cold and wet in this part of OK, so it’s getting more Fall-y, and getting darker earlier.

Is Jager that vindictive? I hear’d stories about it, but mostly from witnesses, and not the victims. There’s even a novelty song, to the tune of “What I Like About You” about the singer’s past with Jagermeister.

“Last time I drank Jager-Jagermeister,
I passed out nude in Pizza Hut.
(I’m naked, but I’m really hungry)
I need bail, I’m in jail
With tattoos of Bart Simpson on my butt.
(Bart: “Wow! Neat, man!”)
I got home, but I don’t know how.
I didn’t have any clothes,
But I was wearing my chow.”
(sounds of vomiting)

Y’know, that kind of stuff. I actually like the light-hearted stories about the alfluence of incohol. It’s the horrendous things that help keep me away fom the chemically-altered sugar water.

Stupid Lisa won’t parody error, I’ve even threatened her with ramming a red hot ice pick in her pee hole.

JAEGERMEISTER IS LICORICE FLAVORED, NOT GRAPE. WHY IN THE HELL HAS NOBODY MENTIONED THIS?!?!?!?!

I feel like joining some shitty photo sharing website so you guys can see how I decorated my balcony for Halloween…

Too bad about no Pitch Black 3. That Game Fuel stuff is orange though, so you can at least pretend THAT’S Halloween themed.

it’s ANISE, dammet.
Jagermeister tastes like ANISE.
So does Agwa, and Absinthe, Chartreuse, and Pernod. Yessir.
Booze of the Gods.
One of my favorite drinks is made with Jager- Surfer on Acid.
Swear to god- tastes like a pina colada.
Mm.

The original Pitch Black was great but it made my poop turn blueish purple! Did you ever have this problem? I always assumed that’s why they got rid of it. I’m bein’ serious look into. You also need to find out when C2 the 1/2 carb Coke is coming back!

Happy Monday, all. Posting late tonight. Saving the alcohol-related post (which has been guessed correctly above) for the post after that. Next post is all about plantlife.

Kingklash, I could be completely off, but I believe the issue with Jager is that it’s deceptive, in that you can find yourself in puking-on-the-dance-floor-naked-at-pizza-hut territory before you expected. I haven’t had enough experience to say whether the after effects are disproportionately painful.
Apparently an entire lifetime in SoCal wasn’t enough for me to realize that “insanely hot” and “crazy windy” was going to result in “Jesus Christ the entire world is ON FIRE HOLY MOTHER IN HEAVEN EVERYTHING’S AFLAME!!!”. On the plus side, I have a whole extra week to study on account of my test being postponed because of bad air quality. On the downside, everything smells like barbecue and ass. So about even, I guess.

yeah its one of the blue dyes used in coloring beverages. I used to get green poop from drinking a blue powerade option. I was freaking out until i found out there are quite a large number of websites like http://www.poopreport.com that explain the phenomenon. And Im not talking just kinda green tinged poop, im talking like the incredible hulk lost a finger poop.

Anise, Fennel, and Licorice all taste the same. Most “licorice” candy is actually made with anise, but licorice is the more widely recognized term. Therefore saying something made with anise or fennel is “licorice flavored” is no different from saying something made with artificial flavoring is whatever flavor it represents flavored. It’s certainly closer to base than saying Jaeger tastes like grape.

Anyway, one time I ate a box of Crunchberries in 2 days and my poop turned neon blue.

that would make for an interesting dirty sanchez.. maybe a new name, the dirty crunchberry?

I wish we had the channel the Elvira show is on… or I wish they would come out with the episodes online. Elvira was my idol as a kid because she was the only other person I knew who had the same first name as me (even though I spell it differently).

I’m pretty sure there are only four episodes total, and the first three are on iTunes and the finale airs Saturday. If you don’t feel like forking over the $2 an ep, you’re really not missing THAT much. Maybe I just don’t watch enough cheesy reality tv anymore, but it was really low budge and there’s not enough Elvira and far too much Manvira IMO. Can there really ever be enough Elvira, though?

I’m going to go with the pumpkin flavoured beer as the alcohol-du-jour… i think i saw that as i was googling for “new liquor products” lmao… at least Matt gave me something to do for a bit while i was bored at the office

I would like to meet Cassandra Peterson, especially if she dresses up like the biker mama she played in “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.”

djspaceace: I am inescapably reminded of yesterday’s Penny Arcade. “Wow. That’s exactly what I didn’t want to know. So, thanks. Now I’ll know that forever. Can’t wait to keep on thinking about that. That’s…sweet.”

Hazzard:
Nuh-Uh!
Licorice tastes like caca.
Anise is nummy.
…
or something.
yeah. that’s my argument and I’m sticking to it.
Anyway- doesn’t Hoarhound taste like licorice/anise/fennel too? I had one of them old-fashioned candy sticks and it tasted like caca- er, licorice.
Oh- and while i loveLOVE cloves, the clove stick somehow made me sick for two days.

Hazzard:
Nuh-uh!
Licorice tastes like caca!
Anise tastes nummy.
…
and that’s my argument.
*shrugs*

Anyway, doesn’t Hoarhound taste like anise/licorice/fennel? I had one of them old-fashoned candy sticks and it tasted just like caca- er, licorice. anise. whatever.
I also had a Clove one- good, really REALLY good- for about two minutes. then my tongue went numb. and I was sick for 2 days.
Almost killed my CloveLove.

If you go to that lisa program and type in “You Have Nice Cans” she will thank you.

Just thought i’d pop in and mention that mixing Jones Lemon Drop Dead soda and white rum makes for a fantastic halloween cocktail, too. I’ve been mixing about 2 oz. rum with half a can. Stong, but very drinkable, presumably because of the sourness. Cheers, Matt.

My friends and I found this recipe a couple years ago when Pitch Black II first came out. We had some extra Jaeger and some extra Pitch Black, so we did some searching and came across the Black Nazi recipe. How could you resist the temptation of a drink with such a menacing name? Perfect for Halloween too. Anyway, just wanted to share that, and it’s a damn good drink.

The only drink that I think could even compare is Pepsi Holiday Spice and Grain Alcohol. Best mixer ever.

after reading this i tried reg dew with absinthe . following ‘black nazi’ i think it should be called a Dewish Supremacist .

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