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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

The Halloween Mood Table.

Ehhh, you know what, I'm just going to have to be honest here and admit that I'm not feeling the "daily Halloween madness" this year, for whatever reason. And I don't foresee tremendous joy for writer or reader if I force myself to do it everyday just because I said I would. I'd rather just add the entries when it feels right, because then the entries will feel right. Hope you understand.

I think a part of the problem is that much of the stuff I've found is certainly worth writing about and paying tribute to, but not at any tremendous length. It feels like a bit of a backwards progression at this stage of the game to stretch 400 words into 2000 just for the sake of length.

So, count on daily updates from here on out, but with a bigger split between official Countdown entries and smaller blog entries. Let's start on that right now.


See that table? It's no ordinary table. Up until a few years ago, Halloween was an excuse to cover every square inch of my living space with as many decorations as possible. In more recent times, such efforts haven't been practical. For as much gusto as I always have when I'm putting up the decorations, there has twice as much laziness when it came to taking them down. Year after year, I'd see rubber spiders and cardboard witches next to the television set while watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and that's plain wrong.

So, some time back, I came up with a solution: That table. If I wasn't going to cover my entire apartment with animatronic Draculas and Freddy Krueger window clings, I'd at least make damn sure to saturate each and every centimeter of that little table with pure, concentrated Halloween goodness.

The good news is that small, dingy tables are by no means a tool exclusive to me. I assume that everyone has access to a small, dingy table of some sort. If you're facing the same kind of decorating woes that I once did, salvation is at your fingertips. With a little love, you can turn an ordinary little side table into the Halloween capital of the universe:


I call it...Halloween Mood Table. It's got everything I need to keep my holiday spirit healthy, and its presence is a constant reminder to indulge in the many spooky activities that are only really fun to do before Halloween comes around.

If you decide to create a Halloween Mood Table, it's important to make it just for you. One of the inherent problems with decorating for the holidays is the notion that we're prettying up our houses for someone else's eyes. Who gives a shit about them? It's your money, your time and your table. Don't worry about charming the people who may or may not visit your home this October...just worry about charming yourself.

And since that's the goal, I'm a little hesitant to tell you how to create one. It should be a mood table of your design and your design alone. On the other hand, I'm not sure that life will ever throw me another opportunity to make use of my exhaustive experience in building Halloween Mood Tables, so it seems like too much of a shame to not offer at least a few tips.

Key features of any Halloween Mood Table include...

1) A pumpkin. You need a pumpkin. A real pumpkin, I mean -- not some faux, junky one. If you look at the calendar year, there are very, very few opportunities to transform fruit into decorations. Don't blow this one. I recommend saving the official big carving pumpkin for another afternoon, and just using a little one for your mood table. This is partly to save space for other things, but mostly because little pumpkins are hella cute.

2) Candles. Make sure the candles are on or in some kind of safe holder that will allow you to burn them without worrying about setting all of the other mood table stuff ablaze. At no other time of year is candlelight more fun and appropriate, so take fucking advantage my friends. I like to incorporate a mix of the standard Halloween novelty candles (shaped like demon heads, bleeding hands, whatever) and at least one that just smells good. I've got one of those "autumn harvest" Glade deals on mine. Makes our entire apartment smell like pie!

3) Candy. You want to have a reason to consult your Halloween Mood Table on a regular basis, and a nice bowl of candy is a good way to guarantee that. Try to have a variety of sweets that all fall under the trick-or-treat "fun-sized" variety. We're too old to go trick-or-treating for real, so now we get to sort of knock on our own doors and ask for candy.

4) Books & DVDs. I have three bookcases full of books and a fourth dedicated entirely to DVDs, but I always pull a few out and add them to the mood table. Aside from heightening the overall ambiance, the idea is this: If they're on the mood table, I must read/watch the book/DVD before Halloween. As such, I try to pick some of the more obscure books and shittier horror DVDs in my collection. It's kind of a cheat to put your favorites on there, because you'd read/watch them anyway.

5) Decorations. Duh. What I try to do is use decorations that just aren't cool enough to work as "standalones" anywhere else. Make sure there are at least a few things of real, personal worth. Stuff that's been with you for years. Look close, and you'll see that Shrunken Apple Head I made like 45 years ago. Stuff like that.

Halloween Mood Tables take about 40 minutes to build, but they'll keep your holiday tank fueled for a full month. I urge each of you to go find a tiny table right now and fill it with spooky crap.

EDIT: Just for kicks, and after some suggestions, I turned this one into a "real" Countdown entry.

Posted by Matt on 10/03/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 153 comments

Haven’t posted much lately, I’ve been really lately with work and such.

Anywho, just got back from Wal Mart and saw one of the most awesome things ever. Since I haven’t had much time to post, I haven’t had much time to read other posts, so pardon me if this has been mentioned already, but they have two new (at least new to me) Fruit By The Foot flavors:

Frankenberry (strawberry, obviously) which I didn’t buy so I’m not sure of the clever re-name.

Boo Berry “Razzle Boo Blitz” which I DID buy because, well, Boo Berry is only the world’s greatest cereal. Fact.

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 10/04/2007 1:23 PM


Is it just me, or is that Mad Matt on the Jones Soda bottle?

Chestnuts roasted by DocDragon @ 10/04/2007 1:27 PM


Matt, something else for the mood table: The Paul Lynde Halloween Special, out this week on DVD!!!

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000TEUSMC/boxofficemojo-20

Chestnuts roasted by Commander Awesome @ 10/04/2007 2:10 PM


lol now that’s must see television

Chestnuts roasted by nogood @ 10/04/2007 2:48 PM


D-VON!!!

GET THE HALLOWEEN MOOD TABLE!

Srsly, though, my local CVS is actually supplying some of this years dose of Jones Halloween Soda. Been low on cash lately, but, as soon as I saw them I HAD to buy all four kinds!

This year, there are two newcomers:

LEMON DROP DEAD
and
GRUESOME GRAPE

Plus the two-old standbys:

CANDY CORN
and
STRAWBERRY S’LIME

Haven’t tried them yet, letting them cool in the fridge for bout an hour as I hate drinking soda warm as well as having ice-cubes get in the way.

Chestnuts roasted by Travie Yak @ 10/04/2007 4:26 PM


OMG Matt, you have to watch this! This is the perfect idea for that bleeding Skull Fountain, if you don’t mind just using it for a fountain, and not as a punch bowl…

http://www.5min.com/Video/How-to-make-glow-water-2862

P.S. If you do, make sure you video that too! :)

Chestnuts roasted by Candace @ 10/04/2007 4:48 PM


That Paul Lynde special sounds amazing! I’d like to try those Fruit by the Foot flavors too, since I can never bring myself to buy a box of the cereal, knowing I’ll never eat it.
Nobody ever reported back on how Cavemen was, did they? I had a convo with my buddy about it:
Not me: Did you watch the Cavemen show?
Me: no! I heard it was lame ahead of time so I didn’t but now I wish I had
Not me: It was really bad
(some discussion about what racial stereotypes they’re taking advantage of)
Not me: Quote from Cavemen: Are you on her top 8 on FaceSpace?
Me: The fuck? facespace?

Now I’m kind of preoccupied with the whole facespace thing. I get not wanting to say MySpace, with the whole rival network thing, but just use Facebook instead!! So lame.

Hey Shuan, you around? Did you like the newest Reaper? I wondered if it would still be good without Kevin Smith directing, and I was glad to see it was.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 10/04/2007 6:09 PM


I somehow posted a message meant for this entry in the one for the Judd Dracula thing. I think that’s a sign that I should not stay awake for 28 hours.

Chestnuts roasted by Monte @ 10/04/2007 7:25 PM


That’s why I love it when Matt takes pictures like that Mood table you can almost spend hours finding every little detail. That picture when you posted a list of things you wanted us to find in the picture, that killed at least 2 hours! It was a lot of fun, you should do that again sometime.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 10/04/2007 7:34 PM


I like that too, Goob. When I notice stuff in the background that I can remember reading about on the site previously, it makes me feel special for some reason.

And I still haven’t been able to get an Optimash Prime, though my fiance has a Softimus Prime, which is pretty rad.

Chestnuts roasted by Annette @ 10/04/2007 7:41 PM


Monte, it’s not lack of sleep that made ya do it.
The ‘drop a comment’ link on the countdown article version of this entry is incorrectly linked to the Judd Dracula article.
Are you listening Matt ?

Chestnuts roasted by diamonds @ 10/04/2007 7:45 PM


Reading my comment back the “are you listening Matt ?” sounds rude. I didn’t mean it that way, I meant it friendly-ly.
I’m so worried about being misunderstood on here!

Chestnuts roasted by paranoid diamonds @ 10/04/2007 8:09 PM


Is it just me, or did Rise of the Silver Surfer go to DVD REALLY FAST?

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 10/04/2007 11:38 PM


yea movies have been flying to dvd this year

Chestnuts roasted by nogood @ 10/04/2007 11:58 PM


Great article, Matt. I see some pretty cool stuff on the table!

By the way, it is always nice to see Danny Bonaduce still around.
http://www.aolvideoblog.com/2007/10/04/danny-bonaduce-tosses-a-survivor/

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 10/05/2007 12:41 AM


The DVD market and distribution rights are where the movie business makes it real money now. In fact currently the only reason theatrical releases still exist is to create interest for when the DVD comes out.

Chestnuts roasted by Monte @ 10/05/2007 12:44 AM


I totally think the Doc Brown Shrunken Head should be the “host” of next years Halloween Countdown.

Ya know what, screw it, he should be the narrator of the Advent Calender this year. Image how awesome he’d look with a Santa hat.

Chestnuts roasted by xero @ 10/05/2007 1:00 AM


knegative it seems like anymore it comes out really quickly. I am surprised at some of them like Noah almighty, ark almighty or whatever that movie is called lol. And the Transformers movie. I remember reading all you guys telling me how you liked it/didn’t like it.

Chestnuts roasted by Anonymous @ 10/05/2007 1:05 AM


Free at last, free at last!!! Today was my last day at work! I’ve been training at my new job for the last 3 weekends while working Mon-Fri at my current job and today not only was my last day at my old job, but it finally ended my long stretch of working 25 days somewhere (at one job or another) straight without a single day off. I’ll spend tomorrow cutting the grass around here and packing, then Saturday I move. Sunday I’ll sleep. A lot.

I had a great day. Told my job to shove it. Then went to see my godmother, who’s an optician and she hooked me up with an eye exam and new contacts. Then we went out to dinner and had my fave type of food in the world–Japanese hibachi–then I came home, hopped on here, read a little, posted this, and now I’m off to bed. Oh, and at work, since it was my last day they gave me a card and one of those big pizza sized chocolate chip cookies. I love those things. Sorry for the completely unrelated post. Just wanted to spread the ‘take this job and shove it’ cheer.

Oh, and the Countdown’s getting better and better. I’d love to see the Paul Lynde thing. Talk about a “Fruit by the Foot.”

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 10/05/2007 1:08 AM


Jesus Christ I’ve become one of them.

Seriously Matt you need to add one of those remember me check boxes. That would help out.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 10/05/2007 1:09 AM


Ok, so I just saw a VISA commercial about Christmas shopping. What in the f–k?

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 10/05/2007 1:20 AM


To be more clear, I don’t remember hearing much in the way of criticism or praise for it before its quick exit. There was mention of it over at Shrine, but it wasn’t anywhere near the normal level of discussion.

Did it just sink like a stone, or was it decent? I’m the kind of guy who is going to see almost any superhero/comic movie and enjoy it on some level. Unless I actively dislike the subject matter/character. E.g., Superman.

I don’t really mind that movies are getting to DVD quicker and quicker, overall. I can’t fathom living in a time when there was no way to watch movies at home. So, they watched it in the theatres (mostly likely once) and then maybe it ended up on TV eventually? I don’t know. It seems horrific in my head. Not being able to watch movies over and over *shudder*

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 10/05/2007 1:33 AM


Man, the Planet Terror DVD isn’t out for another week and a half yet. It’s okay though, because I went to Big Lots for mood table stuff and I got a DVD containing Revolt of the Zombies, Night of the Living Dead and best of all, Hard Rock Zombies, where the band apparently rises from the dead “to stop Hitler by rocking one final time”. Plus a friend lent me the book I Am Legend, about post-apocaplyptic vampires, so I’m stocked.
DJ D, congrats on making it through! Good luck at your new job.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 10/05/2007 2:57 AM


Speaking of new television shows, I hope I am not the only one that decided to watch Pushing Daisies Wednesday night. I thought it was pretty damn awesome. The first ten minutes of the pilot were fantastic. I will say that I am not convinced it will ever be better than it was during those first ten minutes, or that they can stretch out the quirkiness over an entire season (or series run), but I really liked it.

RE: Cavemen: Am I the only one here that actually watched it? No, not that I am proud of that or anything. It was actually one of those moments where I was flipping through the guide menu from my cable provider and I saw the program had just started. I had nothing else to watch and thought to myself, “oh yeah, that cavemen show that I first read about two months ago and thought it was a horrible, yet priceless idea.” There was nothing particularly memorable about the premiere. It mostly revolved around interracial jokes, err sort of, and was forgettable. It was like one of their commercials had been extended to 30 minutes, and broken up by even more commercials. It wasn’t the worst thing I had ever seen… but that is easy to say since every joke on the show has been witnessed by every casual TV viewer at least 78 times in the last year. It is a bit like hanging out with your friends after you’ve paid them each $500 to act like cliche male sitcom characters, and oh yeah, wear fake cavemen makeup as well.

Watch it once just so a decade from now you can say you did.

Pushing Daisies on the other hand… that may actually be good for a few months. Recommended.

Chestnuts roasted by Magic Toy @ 10/05/2007 4:20 AM


Weird. Folks are selling several hundred pumpkins from a lot about a block away from my house. If that doesn’t get you into the Halloween spirit, I don’t know what will.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 10/05/2007 6:49 AM


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