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The Halloween Mood Table.

Ehhh, you know what, I'm just going to have to be honest here and admit that I'm not feeling the "daily Halloween madness" this year, for whatever reason. And I don't foresee tremendous joy for writer or reader if I force myself to do it everyday just because I said I would. I'd rather just add the entries when it feels right, because then the entries will feel right. Hope you understand.

I think a part of the problem is that much of the stuff I've found is certainly worth writing about and paying tribute to, but not at any tremendous length. It feels like a bit of a backwards progression at this stage of the game to stretch 400 words into 2000 just for the sake of length.

So, count on daily updates from here on out, but with a bigger split between official Countdown entries and smaller blog entries. Let's start on that right now.


See that table? It's no ordinary table. Up until a few years ago, Halloween was an excuse to cover every square inch of my living space with as many decorations as possible. In more recent times, such efforts haven't been practical. For as much gusto as I always have when I'm putting up the decorations, there has twice as much laziness when it came to taking them down. Year after year, I'd see rubber spiders and cardboard witches next to the television set while watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and that's plain wrong.

So, some time back, I came up with a solution: That table. If I wasn't going to cover my entire apartment with animatronic Draculas and Freddy Krueger window clings, I'd at least make damn sure to saturate each and every centimeter of that little table with pure, concentrated Halloween goodness.

The good news is that small, dingy tables are by no means a tool exclusive to me. I assume that everyone has access to a small, dingy table of some sort. If you're facing the same kind of decorating woes that I once did, salvation is at your fingertips. With a little love, you can turn an ordinary little side table into the Halloween capital of the universe:


I call it...Halloween Mood Table. It's got everything I need to keep my holiday spirit healthy, and its presence is a constant reminder to indulge in the many spooky activities that are only really fun to do before Halloween comes around.

If you decide to create a Halloween Mood Table, it's important to make it just for you. One of the inherent problems with decorating for the holidays is the notion that we're prettying up our houses for someone else's eyes. Who gives a shit about them? It's your money, your time and your table. Don't worry about charming the people who may or may not visit your home this October...just worry about charming yourself.

And since that's the goal, I'm a little hesitant to tell you how to create one. It should be a mood table of your design and your design alone. On the other hand, I'm not sure that life will ever throw me another opportunity to make use of my exhaustive experience in building Halloween Mood Tables, so it seems like too much of a shame to not offer at least a few tips.

Key features of any Halloween Mood Table include...

1) A pumpkin. You need a pumpkin. A real pumpkin, I mean -- not some faux, junky one. If you look at the calendar year, there are very, very few opportunities to transform fruit into decorations. Don't blow this one. I recommend saving the official big carving pumpkin for another afternoon, and just using a little one for your mood table. This is partly to save space for other things, but mostly because little pumpkins are hella cute.

2) Candles. Make sure the candles are on or in some kind of safe holder that will allow you to burn them without worrying about setting all of the other mood table stuff ablaze. At no other time of year is candlelight more fun and appropriate, so take fucking advantage my friends. I like to incorporate a mix of the standard Halloween novelty candles (shaped like demon heads, bleeding hands, whatever) and at least one that just smells good. I've got one of those "autumn harvest" Glade deals on mine. Makes our entire apartment smell like pie!

3) Candy. You want to have a reason to consult your Halloween Mood Table on a regular basis, and a nice bowl of candy is a good way to guarantee that. Try to have a variety of sweets that all fall under the trick-or-treat "fun-sized" variety. We're too old to go trick-or-treating for real, so now we get to sort of knock on our own doors and ask for candy.

4) Books & DVDs. I have three bookcases full of books and a fourth dedicated entirely to DVDs, but I always pull a few out and add them to the mood table. Aside from heightening the overall ambiance, the idea is this: If they're on the mood table, I must read/watch the book/DVD before Halloween. As such, I try to pick some of the more obscure books and shittier horror DVDs in my collection. It's kind of a cheat to put your favorites on there, because you'd read/watch them anyway.

5) Decorations. Duh. What I try to do is use decorations that just aren't cool enough to work as "standalones" anywhere else. Make sure there are at least a few things of real, personal worth. Stuff that's been with you for years. Look close, and you'll see that Shrunken Apple Head I made like 45 years ago. Stuff like that.

Halloween Mood Tables take about 40 minutes to build, but they'll keep your holiday tank fueled for a full month. I urge each of you to go find a tiny table right now and fill it with spooky crap.

EDIT: Just for kicks, and after some suggestions, I turned this one into a "real" Countdown entry.

Posted by Matt on 10/03/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 153 comments

Yeah pumpkins are part of the squash family. And technically it’s a fruit.

“A pumpkin is a squash fruit that grows as a gourd…Although the pumpkin is botanically classified as a fruit (the ripened ovary of a flowering plant), it is widely regarded culinarily as a vegetable.”

-Wiki

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 10/03/2007 4:33 PM


lol the halloween mood table is awesome, and that jason doll is freakin dope

honestly i much prefer the shorter articles, i rarely finish the longer articles anyway, and sometimes dread reading them when i see how much text is involved, sorry :(

Chestnuts roasted by nogood @ 10/03/2007 4:37 PM


I can honestly say that I have never really distinguished between the formal articles and the blog update things. Content is content.

I don’t spend as much time teaching James Monroe as I do George Washington BUT I DO TEACH MONROE. Dig?

Speaking of not feeling the daily Halloween-iness, I have yet to decorate my equivalent to the Halloween table: the classroom. Too busy I guess. :(
Mrs Manimal wont let me decorate the house so it is all I got.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 10/03/2007 4:41 PM


i’m not really feeling the halloween spirit either but i think that’s just cuz it’s been a shitty year, and it seems especially hot/sunny

DJ D i think u can find jones soda at target, and that “mini table” looks like some type of serving dish to my eyes

Chestnuts roasted by nogood @ 10/03/2007 4:53 PM


Hey Matt, I noticed from the pic above and your comment that you have both the Black and Red Licorice Jones soda flavours. Have you tried either of them yet? Sad to say, I tried the Red Licorice flavour a week ago.

It’s simply Bubble Gum flavour in a differently-labeled bottle.

Disappointing.

Chestnuts roasted by Threnodaemis @ 10/03/2007 4:55 PM


Thanks for making this one a real countdown entry. You rock man!

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 10/03/2007 6:32 PM


Nice table Matt without the spooky crap and with it. And you still have that shrunken head? Um ew?

Okay you guys listen up I have a favor to ask of someone that is locally.

I really i mean REALLY REALLY REALLY I want to go to the yakima county fair this weekend. My best friend can’t go he’s working (he works from 5 pm to 5 am weds through sun) I live in Hermiston Oregon. I don’t have a ride! So is there someone that is going that could give me a ride? I might be able to give you some extra bucks (to pay for carnival rides or whatever)

So lurkers, come out of hiding and email me, regulars email me too! Is someone in your family going? ARE YOU going? This is THIS Saturday and I want to stay until probably 11 (to see the performer) It just seems like I can afford to go but I don’t have transportation! So far yet so close to this! Maybe your not planning on going but this post motivates you to go? Thank you guys. There has to be just some decent people out there that aren’t assholes or serial killers that are going :(

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 10/03/2007 6:41 PM


They’re definitely selling Halloween Jones Soda at Target…I saw them the other day, and thought of X-E. Also, we just started decorating our dorm today…my roomie has decided that we have to compete with everyone else in our building, so it should be pretty awesome pretty soon. The folks next door have us beat at the moment though–they put a giant spider with cobwebs out in the hall.

Chestnuts roasted by Vanilla Fire @ 10/03/2007 6:43 PM


Matt,

That’s surprisingly awesome. I may have to just do that myself. Is that Transylvania 6-5000 I see there? Kramer at his best. Did you get that ’80s Campy Classics set too?

Chestnuts roasted by Cotter @ 10/03/2007 7:10 PM


Modern Halloween decorations are starting to annoy me. They’re becoming too silly looking and, I dunno, “unclassical” I guess. I know Halloween shouldn’t actually be traumatizingly scary, but is it really so much to ask that a cardboard skeleton just look like a skeleton, without it having goofy crossed eyes and a big cartoony tongue hanging out?

Chestnuts roasted by Monte @ 10/03/2007 7:20 PM


Ahh, make-your-own apple shrunken head kits. The gift that keeps on giving…

Chestnuts roasted by Ann @ 10/03/2007 7:36 PM


I agree Monte I also don’t like Modern Christmas decorations. Use white lights instead of those colorful blinking lights that blink with the music or whatever! And the motorized santas augh…

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 10/03/2007 7:47 PM


I’m honestly surprised you still have the shrunken apple head. I’d have thought it would’ve turned mushy and started stinking by now, but apparently not if you still have it.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 10/03/2007 7:56 PM


that campy 80s box set is the bomb, if u mean the one with transylvania 6-5000, elvira, return of the killer tomatoes, that weird grace jones movie, etc

i think i got that last year and enjoyed it probably a lil too much ;)

Chestnuts roasted by nogood @ 10/03/2007 7:57 PM


I need a table.

Chestnuts roasted by iAMYou @ 10/03/2007 8:09 PM


I’m loving the table. It took me a good minute and a half to find Mr. Shrunken Apple Head! :o His hair blends in so well with Jason. That in itself is spooky.

Matt, I really hope you picked up the spooky Mr. Potato Head. He’s so cool, and only 5 bucks!

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 10/03/2007 8:28 PM


I love this idea!! I wonder if I can convince my parents that our stylish glass coffee table needs to be turned into a Halloween shrine? I’m not entirely sure what I’d put on it though…we don’t really have a lot of decorations. :( Maybe I’ll throw some of the fifty million horror movie DVDs I bought with money that I was saving for school this year on it.

Oh, and it’s totally cold and autumn-ish here!! It’s great, and it happened practically overnight too, about three weeks ago. Hot and summery to cold and blustery in about one day flat. I hate summer anyway, so I’m REALLY happy about it.

Hey Matt – is that some sort of Freddy Krueger chalice on your shelf??? That’s awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Frakkyfire @ 10/03/2007 8:39 PM


GO REDSOX!!!!!!!! WWOOOOOOOO

Chestnuts roasted by Red Sox @ 10/03/2007 8:48 PM


Nahh, I don’t really need to use a table. I live in an apartment that’s not really that big of a deal to decorate, and while I do have a fair amount of Halloween stuff, it usually takes me an hour to put up and take down, tops. It IS a good idea for people with a lot of stuff to put out but not a lot of time to do so, though.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 10/03/2007 8:55 PM


It made me happy inside to see everyone’s favorite Christopher-Lloyd-ish shrunken head once again.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 10/03/2007 8:59 PM


hey, that table thing is a good idea. That way the stuffs not spread around the house when it’s time to clean up. I spent a day last week at Target with my son testing out all the sound effects props. It’s always the cheap and free outings that make him the happiest.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 10/03/2007 10:09 PM


You know, it’s like they always say that Anything may happen on Halloween, Your dog could turn into a cat!
There may even be a toad in your bass guitar!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr Love @ 10/03/2007 10:10 PM


Shame about the countdown, I think you’re still a little tired from the extended summer megaparty. (that’s alot of updates!)

Awesome table, I think I’ll make something similar and fill it up with candy.
Does anyone plan on going to Halloween Horror Nights in either Hollywood, or Orlando? This year features three fantastic ghouls – Freddy, Jason, and Leatherface! I think Marry Shaw also has a spook house – but fuck her.

http://www.halloweenhorrornights.com

Chestnuts roasted by penmissile @ 10/03/2007 10:12 PM


Vanbilderass: Yeah, I share your frustration with the lack of overall quality Halloween spirit on TV. Where’s our spooky McDonalds commercials and prime-time Halloween specials? The only station around here that’s getting into the spirit at all is Chiller TV, the horror cable channel. They’re running some movie marathons, but it’s not too impressive. I really miss Joe Bob Briggs too. I used to watch him all the time when I was a kid. As for movie recommendations, Monster Squad is one of my fave horror movies of all time. I got the special 20th anniversary edition that came out a while back and have been saving it for the right time when I can sit down and watch the movie and all the special features and such all in one go. I would also suggest Fright Night and the aformentioned Elvira: Mistress of the Dark and The Midnight Hour.

Tommy: I’ve got a blue Jansport bookbag that’s just completely attached to me. I take it just about everywhere I go. I’ve had it for about 16 years and it’s been all around the world with me. It’s got a hole in the top of it that’s been sewn up and come apart twice. I’ve given up on trying to keep it sewn together. It’s got an old, yellow “The Cure” patch and some buttons. It’s a Jansport with a suede leather bottom and when I finally decide to retire it, I’m going to get another blue Jansport bag exactly like it.

nogood Thanks for the Jones Soda tip. When I head to Target in a couple of weeks to finally go on my big Halloween shopping spree, I’ll have to check it out. Yeah, I really dig that serving tray, especially the yellow, shrunken head guy that’s holding it up.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 10/03/2007 10:23 PM


We’re not doing much of anything at McDonald’s this Halloween. Kind of disappointing. We have the Monopoly game, but no Halloween stuff! Further updates as events warrant.

Chestnuts roasted by hoverbored @ 10/03/2007 10:29 PM


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