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The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t!

It's October! Kind of feels like September flew by. I don't know if I'm ready for this. I often have trouble persuading myself to have fun, but this is the time to do it. I spent the morning scouring the web for semi-local pumpkin patches and hayride places, and even if I never make it to them, at least I got to see a ton of hijacked Halloween clipart, oftentimes animated with crude lightning bolts. Is it some sort of prerequisite for any pumpkin patch or hayride place with an Internet connection to make their homepage look like complete shit? I'm not complaining, though. It's part of their charm. Plus, I get paid a dollar every time I set eyes on the image below, and today, I saw it like 9,000 times:

Now, if only it wasn't still so damned hot outside. I haven't heard wind in the trees around here since 1957. I don't get it. It's sort of like how I can just never understand Christmas in Australia. October doesn't feel right unless I'm getting blown all over while clouds piss on me. Whatever, October 1st is an important day, as it marks the exact moment that we can openly gush about Halloweeny things without anyone yelling at us because "it's too early." Let us celebrate with this review of The Halloween That Almost Wasn't, later retitled, The Night That Dracula Saved The World. Originally airing in 1979 and starring Judd Hirsch as Dracula, it's a nice, quiet, fun little Halloween special that reminds us to love our mummies and witches just as much as all of the sleeker horror movie characters who stole their place later.

Also, I didn't touch on this in the article, but I need to get it off my chest. I have no idea why they renamed it The Night That Dracula Saved The World. Number one, the world is never in any danger and thus is not in any need of saving. There is no "world saving" to speak of within this special. Two, even if you had an argument against what I just wrote, it isn't Dracula who actually does the saving here, but rather THE WITCH! SO many things wrong with that title! Why did they change it?

Posted by Matt on 10/01/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 166 comments

Invader Norbert: I’m just going to take your word on it for the pumpkin thing.

As for your girl, hate to say it, but she’s wrong. I’ve known a lot of geeks who don’t play a lick of chess, but are “real” geeks. I know how to play chess (poorly), but I wouldn’t say I’m a geek at all…well, maybe a little. I’ve got geekish tendencies. My definition of geek is somebody who is so engrossed in whatever geekish endevors they have that it completely prohibits them from attracting anyone in the romantic/physical sense. I’m going to have to be careful in my wording here because I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging at all but, I’ve..ahem..done fairly well in that regard (could just be luck), so I don’t really put myself in the category of typical geek. I think it really depends on who you are as a well rounded person. If you’ve got some stuff going for you and you just happen to play World of Warcraft or read comics or are a gamer or something, then no, you’re not a huge geek. Honestly, I don’t really see how playing or not playing chess really fits into it one way or the other.

As for labels in general, I don’t care for them, but if I had to slap one on myself, well, I’ve been the dj of a goth themed radio show for over 10 years, I had a regular monthly goth gig at a club for 2 years and have dj’d all around the southeast and a goth/industrial dj/club promoter. I wear a lot of black, read horror, and am obsessed with Christina Ricci. I like to think I’m a pretty well rounded person and have a lot of diverse interests and musical tastes, but if someone calls me a goth I don’t get bent out of shape about it. Like I said, I hate labels and all, but if the shoe fits….

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 10/02/2007 12:37 AM

would you people please stay on MATT’S subject

Chestnuts roasted by Anonymous @ 10/02/2007 12:45 AM

Goths are always dressed for Halloween.

Chestnuts roasted by fellow goth @ 10/02/2007 12:46 AM

Ok, so this is off topic, but still halloween themed…sort of. There’s this amazing toy store in Marlton, NJ called the house of fun, that sells pretty much any toy you ever played with growing up. They have EVERYTHING, a ton of it brand new. The point, you ask? I was there on saturday and found a bunch of unopened Child’s Play 2 figures from Japan. And to make the situation even more awesome, I noticed a slew of Gremlins toys (both new and used) that I failed to notice last time I was there.

Matt, you should totally stop by this place next time you’re on your way to wildwood or A.C.. It’s right off 30 near the AC expressway. I guarantee you’d love it.

Chestnuts roasted by Ken @ 10/02/2007 12:57 AM

Does it really mattter if people stray slightly from the topic Anonymous ?
Why inject negativity in here and make people feel bad ?

Chestnuts roasted by a different anonymous @ 10/02/2007 12:59 AM

fellow goth: I’m really jazzed right now about all the Halloween decorations not just because I’m all in the season along with everyone else, but because I’m moving this weekend to a new place and now I can easily decorate it. This is the only time of year I can find the kind of stuff I would keep sitting around all year round anyway. I don’t like to think it’s a goth thing so much as it’s just a personal taste thing. If people wanna call that goth, go ahead. I just call it me.

Oh, by the way, look we’re talking about Halloween again, and goth stuff…vampires are goth…Judd Hirsch was a vampire in a fun TV special…See how we came back full circle and still managed to stay on topic the whole time? Happy now, Anonymous?

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 10/02/2007 1:01 AM

hell yes!halloween decorations are for everyday, not just the halloween season.
i’m with ‘ya DJD.

Chestnuts roasted by fellow goth @ 10/02/2007 1:07 AM

Sorry “anonymous,” but I agree with “a different anonymous.” We can (and always will) go off-track. The only thing that’s a no-no is to go off-track in such a way that only the 2-3 people involved with the original convo could participate.

Ken: That store sounds like it’d be worth a trip. Haven’t seen those figures, but I’ve seen what Japan has done for Gremlins and Gremlins 2 in the toy department, so I suspect they’re top notch.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 10/02/2007 1:09 AM

I had way too many orange and black M&Ms tonight.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 10/02/2007 1:13 AM

Man, how come all these cool toy stores and things are in NJ? From reading this site and reading all the cool places that Matt’s been that he’s reviewed or written about, plus all the stuff everyone talks about in the posts, I’m starting to think Summer and Fall in NJ is just the place to be. The closest I’ve ever come is flying in and out of Newark about 8 years ago. Of course all I saw of it was the inside of the airport and the view out the window from the plane. I wish I could have had time to at least go outside of the airport and check out some of the sites.

Kind of an aside, but the my current job (which I’m quitting on Thursday–woo hoo!) requires me to talk on the phone to people from all over the country and what I’ve found is that people really don’t always live up to stereotpes of what they’re supposed to be. I’ve found that most everone I’ve talked to from NY and NJ to be really nice and funny and cool to talk to. I haven’t found that the whole misconception that they’re all rude and jerks is true at all. My new roommate’s from NY and she’s groovy. I was born and raised here in SC and I would rather hang out with someone like her than most of the good ol’ boys around here. Sorry if this strays too far from topic, just something I wanted to get off my chest. Off the soapbox now. Carry on…

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 10/02/2007 1:15 AM

Tommy, don’t buy the fun-sized bag of Twix this year. Three Twix flavors in one bag.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 10/02/2007 1:16 AM

Three Twixes? All I know of is the standard and peanut butter (which is way underrated). What else is there? I’m not sure I would trust anything other than those 2. Hope it’s not strawberry or something. Oh, and my mom got me a bag of all-dark chocolate Hershey’s miniatures. I really appreciated it cause everyone loves dark chocolate, but when your crispy, mr. goodbars, and standard hershey’s are ALL dark chocolate it kind ruins the alure of the mysterious dark one. It’s a little bit of an overload and kind of clashes with the other ingredients.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 10/02/2007 1:26 AM

DJD, I’m from Philly, and I’ve always been dissapointed in the lack of awesome toy stores and stores that rank high on the nostalgia scale. There used to be a place called Quakerhead collectibles that had all kinds of old and imported toys, but they went bankrupt, so I’ve had to find nearby solutions…all of which are in Jersey. I think it has something to do with being surrounded by major cities and the Jersey shore which will always (despite recent gentrification) have this really powerful “yesteryear” effect. I think the combination of these things (along with similar nuclear contamination that resulted in Godzilla) results in the Jersey we know and love.

Chestnuts roasted by Ken @ 10/02/2007 1:37 AM

I’m a serious chocoholic. I had to spring for two king sized Reese Pumpkins for me and m’lady the other day. For some reason I always like the holiday Reese stuff a ton better than the regular cups.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 10/02/2007 1:43 AM

Ken: Yeah, that’s what I’ve gathered so far from reading Matt’s articles and the posts around here. Apparently, the Jersey shore is just really awesome. The closest thing around here that could compare to that is Myrtle Beach, which my family goes to every summer since I was 5. But, it’s changed a lot and is a lot more expensive now. They tore down the Pavilion about a year ago, which was a major Myrtle Beach attraction and really shot themselves in the foot with that one. It was basically a mini-amusement park with loads of roller coasters and things and was one of the main reasons why people go down there in the first place.

Tommy: Reeses miniatures and Dr. Pepper are my two biggest addictions in this world. Stick me on a deserted island with just that to eat and drink and I’ll die a happy, toothless, diabetic man. Personally, my favorites are the miniature cups, but I do see the alure of all the different incarnations, especially the Halloween Pumpkins and the Easter eggs. It’s like you’re getting waaaay too much Reeses at once. I almost feel guilty for eating that big ass pumpkin all in one sitting, but then I remember that I usually don’t think twice about opening up a bag of the cups and putting away 10 of them in one go and suddenly it’s not so bad.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 10/02/2007 2:09 AM

DJ D, Yeah, Wildwood is summer around here. In the Philadelphia region, everyone “goes down the shore.” I love Wildwood, and to sweeten the deal this year, some genius opened an honest to god toy store on the boardwalk (Matt are you aware of this?) with some awesome stock and decent prices (for the boardwalk). Cape May’s a really nice area, too, but there’s not a lot to do, and it’s FULL of Canadian’s during the summer.

I’ve actually been to Myrtle Beach, and I remember really liking it. I specifically remember an amazing mini golf place that had an outdoor range that was dino-themed, and an indoor ocean-themed course.

Chestnuts roasted by Ken @ 10/02/2007 2:18 AM

Matt: In Star Trek VI, he’s the Klingon ambassador who speaks to the Federation president in his office after Chancellor Gorkon’s assassination.

Chestnuts roasted by Dantheman @ 10/02/2007 2:28 AM

Ken: Yeah, exactly! I know exactly which course you’re talking about. There’s another one that my cousin and I go to every year that has a giant skull with smoke that comes out of eyes. You enter the back of it and you have to play through the and come out the mouth. Golf is a huge thing down here. The other thing that is just the embodiment of Myrtle Beach is “The Shag.” That’s the official state dance and is just about as Myrtle Beach as you can get. Actually there was a movie called Shag that was shot down there. It’s kind of like the Electric Slide I guess and is mostly done by dorky middle aged white couples, cause I think it’s a couples thing, but it’s all choreographed like the Electric Slide and people do it in big groups. I have no idea how to do either one of them, but people at the beach are all into shagging. I did a student exchange in England (which is why I was flying in and out of NJ-I was going to London), and after I got back here I found a flyer for “Shag Lessons”. Of course my new British friends had never heard of the dance, so I had to mail them the flyer. I thought they would get a kick out of it.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 10/02/2007 2:28 AM

I’ve been answering phones for…hmm, going on about seven years, and I have to say that in my experience there is a certain breed of NY/NJ folks that are…complicated to deal with. My theory is that being ahead of everyone else time zone wise has given them a complex. They are in the TINIEST minority, however, whereas a huge majority of the funniest and most interesting people I’ve talked to have been from the same geographical area. Oh, and I consider myself a geek but have no aptitude for chess.
There was a funny allusion to Taxi on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia this week (Devito plays a main character). It would be amazing if they worked some Taxi cameos sometime.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 10/02/2007 2:37 AM

Excellent article Matt! I love your reviews of Halloween specials – that one about The Worst Witch with Mr. Curry himself is my favourite article ever! I read it at work (it was a slow day though, so I have my excuses…) and couldn’t stop laughing for like an hour. People kept looking at me funny. :(

I am interested in this fabled Power Rangers Halloween special. It sounds like prime Matt material to me. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Frakkyfire @ 10/02/2007 2:54 AM

DJ D, yeah, I was like 8 when I visited Myrtle Beach, and as a non-golfer, the beach and awesome mini-golf were my primary sources of entertainment. “people at the beach are all into shagging,” is hilarious when taken out of context.

squee4242, I think the bad rap the tri-state gets is due to in part to certain members of Philly’s city folk…they’re a special breed, and this is not by any means “the city of brotherly love.” Also, I’m new to that show as of this season, but so far, so good.

Chestnuts roasted by Ken @ 10/02/2007 2:56 AM

Ken: Yeah, shagging at Myrtle Beach is mostly a couples thing, but it’s all choreographed and is better when there’s good music playing and it’s done in big groups. How’s that for a soundbite? Hello! Yeeeaah, baby!

squee4242: I’ve had a few jobs over the years that have required me to deal with the public over the phone and I know what you mean about that certain tiny percentage of the population. On the flip side, there’s a certain type of southerner on the phone that just makes me want to reach through the phone and strangle them. They never have their shit together, usually have kids screaming in the background, and want you to sit on the phone and hold their hand why they figure out why the hell they called you in the first place. Just the living embodiment of the literally slow, dumb southerner. I just want to scream at these people, “Alright, step it up a notch, think and get your shit together and call back. I don’t have all day to wait for your inbred brain to catch up to the rest of us here.” Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I’m a southerner by birth so I guess I’m allowed to talk that way about “my people.”

Alright kids, I’m sleepy-deepy right now so I’m off to bed. I’ve got to be up in 6 hours. See you all tomorrow.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ D @ 10/02/2007 3:21 AM

i’ve had several jobs answering phones in the past and tho i don’t remember breakdowns by geography i do remember the two rudest groups of people i’ve encountered (and hopefully i won’t offend anyone here) would be hockey fans and pharmacists!

one job was working for a catalog company that sold sports memorabilia. the average football/baseball/basketball fans would all pretty much blend together, but the hockey fans dear jeezus..

i wish i could say the leaves were changing color and the air was crisp, but in texas it still feels like the middle of july! i hope it starts to cool off at least a little, it was in the upper 90s today

Chestnuts roasted by nogood @ 10/02/2007 4:18 AM

Aw, man, I missed first crack. That’s what I get for sleeping through the evening. To make up for it, I will ask Anonymous what his favorite root vegetable is.

WELL, WHAT IS IT?!?!?!

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 10/02/2007 5:28 AM

Hey, Knegative, that was me who posted as “a different anonymous” !
Are you proud of your fan ?

Chestnuts roasted by diamonds @ 10/02/2007 5:36 AM

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