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10/01/2007: The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t!

It’s October! Kind of feels like September flew by. I don’t know if I’m ready for this. I often have trouble persuading myself to have fun, but this is the time to do it. I spent the morning scouring the web for semi-local pumpkin patches and hayride places, and even if I never make it to them, at least I got to see a ton of hijacked Halloween clipart, oftentimes animated with crude lightning bolts. Is it some sort of prerequisite for any pumpkin patch or hayride place with an Internet connection to make their homepage look like complete shit? I’m not complaining, though. It’s part of their charm. Plus, I get paid a dollar every time I set eyes on the image below, and today, I saw it like 9,000 times:

Now, if only it wasn’t still so damned hot outside. I haven’t heard wind in the trees around here since 1957. I don’t get it. It’s sort of like how I can just never understand Christmas in Australia. October doesn’t feel right unless I’m getting blown all over while clouds piss on me. Whatever, October 1st is an important day, as it marks the exact moment that we can openly gush about Halloweeny things without anyone yelling at us because “it’s too early.” Let us celebrate with this review of The Halloween That Almost Wasn’t, later retitled, The Night That Dracula Saved The World. Originally airing in 1979 and starring Judd Hirsch as Dracula, it’s a nice, quiet, fun little Halloween special that reminds us to love our mummies and witches just as much as all of the sleeker horror movie characters who stole their place later.

Also, I didn’t touch on this in the article, but I need to get it off my chest. I have no idea why they renamed it The Night That Dracula Saved The World. Number one, the world is never in any danger and thus is not in any need of saving. There is no “world saving” to speak of within this special. Two, even if you had an argument against what I just wrote, it isn’t Dracula who actually does the saving here, but rather THE WITCH! SO many things wrong with that title! Why did they change it?


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Discussion Thread: 166 comments

Has anybody seen my tambourine?

Ghosted by Nizz @ 10/01/2007 4:40 PM EDT


love the site matt. almost got fired for reading it

Ghosted by 616commando @ 10/01/2007 4:41 PM EDT


I always knew bad clip art was hazardous to your health but that one is about to send me into epileptic seizures.

Ghosted by Ann @ 10/01/2007 4:53 PM EDT


Hmmm… a Jewish Dracula? Does a Rabbi have to bless the blood so that it’s kosher before he can drink it???

Ghosted by Saint @ 10/01/2007 4:55 PM EDT


Has anyone seen Rockula?

Ghosted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 10/01/2007 5:08 PM EDT


If they had called it “The Night Judd Hirsch Saved the World” I bet it would be as much of a Halloween staple as the Great Pumpkin.

Ghosted by Monte @ 10/01/2007 5:37 PM EDT


Judd makes a great Dracula- TGIO thank god its october

Ghosted by Joker @ 10/01/2007 5:39 PM EDT


“Dear John…by the time you read this letter i’ll be gone.” Damn, now it’s in my head.

Ghosted by Bill @ 10/01/2007 5:39 PM EDT


Okay kids, confession time. Back when I was about nine years old or so, when all my classmates were crushing on the teen idol of the day, I had a raging crush on Judd Hirsch. Finally I have the opportunty to get this off my chest. Thanks, Matt.

Ghosted by Rainbowfeet @ 10/01/2007 5:40 PM EDT


Saint: Hmmm… a Jewish Dracula? Does a Rabbi have to bless the blood so that it’s kosher before he can drink it???

Since part of the definition of kosher as that it doesn’t contain any blood, I imagine he’d have some trouble with that bit.

More importantly, would a crucifix still drive him back? Or would you have to lay hands on a Star of David to elicit the hissing and cloak-shielding action?

Oh, and Matt? That’s the most horrible gif I’ve seen since geocities was cool. Nice find.

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 10/01/2007 5:47 PM EDT


I remember this one. I thought it was just the right amount of cornball for a on-the-cheap holiday special. If my brain doesn’t betray me, it also has one of my favorite jokes about Frankenstein’s “Creature”:

“My feet hurt!”
“Be quiet, they’re not even yours!”
*sniff* “You didn’t have to remind me!”

Ghosted by kingklash in: The Hallowe'en that Clogged the Toilet @ 10/01/2007 6:00 PM EDT


So that explains why Judd Hirsch drives a taxi at night! Does that mean Latka and Jim and Elaine are vampires, too? I always knew there was something weird about Elaine…

Speaking of vampires, I was a zombie yesterday. I got better.

Ghosted by Special K @ 10/01/2007 6:04 PM EDT


Dracula > a witch. That’s why he’s the last boss and witches are mostly random enemies, MAYBE a boss every so often.

Ghosted by Ben @ 10/01/2007 6:06 PM EDT


You’re damn right about September, Matt, September didn’t last for shit

I usually don’t do anything to celebrate Halloween at all despite my love for it, but this year X-E inspired me to go out and buy a TINY bit, some sort of crazy voodoo witch guy from Target to decorate with, only 3 bucks. So far I’ve found Target has the best Halloween section this year, at least in my neck of the woods anyway. Even though I can’t afford most of the shit I really enjoy seeing it all at least. ONE DAY, I will be able to be the materialistic bitch I really want, and justify buying up the entire stock of spooky goodies and decorate and celebrate proper.

Ghosted by Ktulu @ 10/01/2007 6:16 PM EDT


I went scouring for Halloween clip art yesterday, too. I found some pretty sweet like 1996 MS Paint pumpkins. Brought me back.
I also saw that image. It’s really pissing my cursor off.

Ghosted by Cotter @ 10/01/2007 6:19 PM EDT


Wait a minute, is that widescreen? Is this out on DVD? That’d save me a lot of trouble from having to convert it and … you know, buy something to convert it with.

Ghosted by Mike W @ 10/01/2007 6:22 PM EDT


I’m excited that it’s October because that means I’m one month away from November…when I quit my crappy temp job to look for housing in Mississippi.

Ghosted by Jeff Mack @ 10/01/2007 6:22 PM EDT


MAtt, do you still consider yourself one article behind, or are we just gonna miss an article?

Ghosted by Chris @ 10/01/2007 6:52 PM EDT


One behind, but no longer dating as such. Will make it up when the mood strikes. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/01/2007 6:57 PM EDT


I thought it was time to come out of hiding and say hi! So hi!

I am stoked it is finally October and that I have a 3 year old who is obsessed with scary stuff. Seriously she just wants to find monsters and play with all of the Halloween stuff in every store we go to. This little lady has no fear and while I am sure this should worry me on some level it actually makes me feel warm and giddy all over. She is like me and I am liking it.

Plus the month of October starts what can only be described as the best most kick ass 3 out of 12 months of the calendar year thanks to our friend Matt and his most haunted and holy of websites!

Ghosted by Cricket @ 10/01/2007 7:04 PM EDT


Has anyone realized that daylight savings time was changed this year? I remember it last winter when it was changed but didn’t realize that it would affect halloween and the general halloween season. They go forword an hour sometime in the beginning of november now. That means we won’t get that halloweeny feel that “oh, it’s really getting dark now” in early to mid october. I don’t know about you guys but this kinda pisses me off. I can only imagine what the kids who still trick or treat are thinking now that they have an hour less time to go house to house.

Ghosted by Tenacious Tate @ 10/01/2007 7:11 PM EDT


Why’d they give Dracula top billing instead of the witch? It’s all politics man. Nobody trusts witches. You start putting “witch” in the title of your film, people will start looking down on you, but Dracula, people like Dracula. There’s an irrational prejudice against Witches in this country I tell ya! Where’s the ACLU when you really need them?

Ghosted by Darth Poop @ 10/01/2007 7:18 PM EDT


Wow, I TOTALLY forgot I have this shit. And I was saving it SPECIFICALLY for Halloween. Thanks a lot Matt, you ruined my cycle. Dammit! Guess I’ll go watch pumpkin head or something… :|

Ghosted by Cotter @ 10/01/2007 7:19 PM EDT


Darth Poop: It’s a long story, but it turns out lawyers and witches are natural enemies, while lawyers and vampires admire one another’s fashion sense and lack of pigmentation. I don’t think the ACLU is going to pick up this one.

Ghosted by Jedoc @ 10/01/2007 7:23 PM EDT


October is nice and all, but I’m kinda sad that it’s already here, and I’m still not with my fiance. :(

Ghosted by Annette @ 10/01/2007 7:27 PM EDT


I think the main reason witches don’t get that much respect compared to other monsters is that while the other monsters terrorize countries (or at least a small town), witches only seem to want to make one person, usually a princess, miserable. Think about all of the Disney Witches, from the one in Snow White all the way to Ursula in Little Mermaid. Their only goal seems to be making sure the princess doesn’t get any from the handsome prince. Heck, Tabitha on the soap opera “Passions” also fit into this mold of not wanting some girl to fall for some guy for some reason. How terrifying is that? Sure, I’m sure not getting any can get frustrating, but is terrifying? Sorry, but no.

Anyway, I actually went to Michael’s today (along with to a couple of dollar stores) and why is most of the cool Halloween stuff at these places? Michaels had some cool animatronic things like villages and pirate skeletons, while I saw Boris the Talking skull at a dollar store. My mom bought a musical strobe light to put in a ceramic pumpkin.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 10/01/2007 7:33 PM EDT


good review matt

Ghosted by simon @ 10/01/2007 7:36 PM EDT


Tenacious Tate I was actually thinking about the later date for the time change and how thats gonna suck for the kids, that are already used to starting in the dark, and finishing in the dark. I would be one super pissed off kid if I started trick or treating now at the usual 5pm start time, and its still freaking daylight out! Hell, we’d get off the bus at 3:30 on Halloween, and it would already be getting dark…lol.

Ghosted by crazy_mainer @ 10/01/2007 7:42 PM EDT


As of right now my October/Halloween mood should be set after our ghost tour of Savannah we have planned for the weeked after next….

Ghosted by Shuanfu @ 10/01/2007 7:45 PM EDT


Because Judd Hirsch DEMANDED it. That’s why.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 10/01/2007 8:26 PM EDT


John Schuck…..I think I know who he is, he was the Klingon ambassador in Star Treks IV and VI, and was in the Enterprise two-parter that explained why Klingons from the original Star Trek series didn’t have forehead ridges.

Ghosted by Dantheman @ 10/01/2007 8:27 PM EDT


Amazing enough, I actually remember this! Who could forget Judd Hirsch dressed as Dracula…and then that sudden disco finale? I can’t seem to remember where I saw this. It was either on cable or someone brought the video in for some Halloween elementary school party.

Yeah, September flew by…but that means I can finally break out my Halloween stuff, and I have a lot for someone who isn’t into the spooky aspects of the season.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 10/01/2007 8:29 PM EDT


Wait wait wait….which Klingon from Part VI? That’ the only Trek movie I know pretty well.

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/01/2007 8:30 PM EDT


I’m pretty sure I have a Raggedy-Ann and -Andy Halloween special on VHS somewhere. It’s called “The Pumpkin Who Couldn’t Smile” and they have to help a sad pumpkin that cries pumpkin seeds.

Also, the DST thing sucks. I’m too old to trick-or-treat (at least not without people getting pissed off), but I hate summer. I love fall and winter, so I’m ready for dark evenings and the holiday season.

Ghosted by Bluejay @ 10/01/2007 8:38 PM EDT


For once I was happy to fill my car up with $50 bucks worth of too-expensive gas, because it meant standing outside in the crisp air and watching the yellow and red leaves blowing around…

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 10/01/2007 9:43 PM EDT


The clip art thing is some kind of low rent Halloween site phenomenon. This Friday night I’m going to go to a place here in SC called Wompus Woods. It’s a spook trail type of thing and I was just checking out the site for it, and sure enough it has the obligatory laughing skull that laughs and rears it’s head back and disappears in a cloud of smoke, only to reappear and keep doing the same thing over and over.

Then, you’ve also got the rotating skull head and the line of dripping blood. There’s loads others but I can’t be bothered to think of them right now. I remember taking an HTML class about 6 years ago and we were required to make a site that consisted of 6 pages that all had to link to each other with pictures and links and things. I split mine up into 2 parts, and made half of it about G.I. Joe and the other half about Transformers.

Yeah, I wanna know who that guy was in Star Trek VI. I remember that one pretty well–Christian Slater cameo and all. I remember the New Munsters were part of the lineup of the early days of the Fox network. They came on around the time that Married With Children first premiered. The big lineup back then was those 2 shows, Beans Baxter, Parker Lewis Can’t Loose, and another one that I think was called the Charmlings or something like that. It was about a family that stepped out of some fairy tale and lived in suburban America. The husband was a prince and had a huge stockpile of gold bars in his house. I seem to remember a witch or something that was always after it, but I’m not sure.

By the way, the first time I saw Independence Day, the combination of Jeff Goldblum and Judd Hirsch in a movie together was almost too much Jew for me to handle. That’s a hell of a lot of Jew.

616commando: Is the 616 in your name a reference to the main Marvel 616 universe? If it’s not, then that makes me look like an incredible dork. If it is, well, things aren’t looking to good for either one of us right now.

Ghosted by DJ D @ 10/01/2007 9:44 PM EDT


Oop, sorry about the double post, but there’s something I’ve been curious about for a while. In the banner at the top of the page, in the “ABOUT” circle, is that the punkin mask from Halloween 3? If not, what is it? Also, who’s that in the “BLOG” circle? The others are obvious. Although, I don’t like the way that guy in the “CONTACT” circle is looking at me.

Ghosted by DJ D @ 10/01/2007 10:01 PM EDT


I can’t recall who the Pumpkinhead dude is. I just found an image I liked. The blog guy is actually Remco’s Frankenstein’s Monster figure, from one of my favorite old toy lines.

Ghosted by Matt @ 10/01/2007 10:03 PM EDT


Sorry I haven’t posted in a long time. I don’t have internet access at my house right now. I have an idea for a countdown entry. Matt previously reviewed an episode of power rangers some years ago. This year, why doesn’t he cover the Halloween episode from the first season, “Life’s a Masquerade”? It features a Frankenstein monster and a Halloween party with a costume contest.

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 10/01/2007 10:23 PM EDT


I think the Pumpkinhead guy is the guy from the Pete & Pete Halloween episode. He was the leader of a gang of punk teens that liked to smash pumpkins. The leader at least wore a pumpkin that looked the one in the About button on his head.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 10/01/2007 10:55 PM EDT


InvaderNorbert: I was about to say that I’m worried that you knew that, but then I remembered that my comic book collection exceeds 3,000 books and realized I don’t have much right to make fun of anyone around here for much of anything.

Unless you’re a trekkie. I’m sorry. I love the shows and movies as much as the next guy but if you can honestly speak Klingon you’re just asking for it. I’m just sayin’.

Ghosted by DJ D @ 10/01/2007 11:17 PM EDT


I went to a wedding once where they spoke in both English and Klingon…I kid you not. My date leaned over and said “awe that’s sweet they are doing some of it in German” but I didn’t confess to her that I knew it was Klingon, mainly recognizable by the sash and medals the groom wore – they were part of a costume/Trek fan club. I figured admitting that would totally blow any chance I had with the girl…knowing my luck she probably married a huge Trek fan and had a couple of loDHom’s….

Ghosted by Shuanfu @ 10/01/2007 11:33 PM EDT


I’m pretty sure I had no idea that Judd Hirsch did anything between Taxi and Independence Day.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 10/01/2007 11:36 PM EDT


This awesome article, got me thinking about another obscure Halloween tv-movie. I had to look it up on IMDB because all I could remember was the girl from Who’s The Boss was in it. It was called The Canterville Ghost, and the only image that has stuck in my head all these years, is someone pulling a cover off from like a turkey platter, and the ghost’s head is there. It really freaked me out! Does anyone else remember this movie???

Ghosted by crazy_mainer @ 10/01/2007 11:45 PM EDT


I think they changed the title to that thing about Dracula saving the world, because the other, original title made it sound like just a holiday movie and therefore less marketable. How many people over age 4 watch Halloween specials outside of September-October? You can’t even pull a Christmas in July thing with those.
Then, just saying “The Night that Almost Wasn’t” sounds like some bad 80s romantic comedy, so they needed to think of a spooky-ish title to attract the kids that would draw them in year round. Dracula saving the world sounds nice and exciting, and would catch the eyes of, presumably, the right sorts all year.

Ghosted by Talia @ 10/01/2007 11:45 PM EDT


Shuanfu: Yeah, I can relate. I used to work with a girl that I thought was totally hot, but didn’t have the nerve to do much about it aside from nervously chat with her during break time saying things that I instantly regretted the second they came out of my mouth. The day before my last day there (cause I was moving out of town), she came in with a Batman shirt. (Keep in mind I’m a Batman fanatic). Of course, I complimented her on it and her response was, “Oh yeah, I LOVE comic books. I read them all the time!.”

The first time I ever saw Judd Hirsch in anything was Dear John, and then caught him in the reruns of taxi and was like, hey that’s the guy from Dear John!…and look, there’s Tony from Who’s the Boss!, and there’s Doc Brown!…and Burt Reynolds’s wife from Evening Shade!….and of course Danny Devito..from a whole bunch of stuff!

Ghosted by DJ D @ 10/01/2007 11:51 PM EDT


I’m sitting here listening to Mannheim Steamroller’s Halloween and finally getting in the October mood. Screw the 90 degree weather with 80% humidity–It’s Halloween time!

Ghosted by Cameron T. @ 10/01/2007 11:58 PM EDT


Honestly, I didn’t even know Judd Hirsch was in Independence Day.

DJ D, So…I’m right?

No, I’m not a Trekkie, don’t worry. I’ve always been a Star Wars kinda guy.

Speaking of girls of that like, my girlfriend doesn’t think I’m a geek because I don’t know how to play chess, despite all the other geekish stuff that you have all seen me express, even in this and the last post I made.

Do you agree? Discuss.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 10/02/2007 12:08 AM EDT


Micheal Myers would kill the shit out of that dracula. Then he would kill the shit out of the witch.

Ghosted by RhubarbVelociraptor @ 10/02/2007 12:32 AM EDT


You got that right.

Ghosted by Micheal Myers @ 10/02/2007 12:35 AM EDT


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