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Dissecting Gummy Frogs, with Crab Chip bonus.

The latest Halloween Countdown entry, which I am dating as yesterday's to keep myself and check and not try to skip a day, turns one of the most memorable and disgusting moments of grade school into hot Halloween candy. It's the Gummy Frog Dissection Kit, and it comes with a knife and everything!

And as if that didn't spike your appetite enough, get a load of these:


I wrote a big long hate rant against Clamato in my youth, but the truth is, I've warmed to the idea. Went to Canada a while back and had dinner with a bunch of locals who all ordered Bloody Caesars, which more or less take a Bloody Mary and replace the tomato juice with Clamato. I've always regretted not joining in. I love Bloody Marys, but I never feel right ordering them because I'm always the only person in the place who wants one. Caesars are like, the official drink of Canada. Everybody drinks them. It's close enough to a Bloody Mary, and I'm tempted to go back there just so I can finally down the swishy red drink without having to be the only idiot in the joint with vegetables protruding out the top of his glass.

It's those inklings that make me not at all averse to Lay's new "Crab Spice Seasoning" chips. I never saw them before yesterday, so if they aren't new, they're at least new to my city. The list of ingredients vaguely refers to "crab spice seasoning," but I'd say that they're basically regular potato chips dunked in a pit of Old Bay. They really aren't that bad, and while I wouldn't christen them as the new "it boy" of Potato Chip Land, it's neat to see bright red crabs on the potato chip bag you're eating from.

Posted by Matt on 09/27/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 151 comments

I once had a Christian tell me he didn’t believe in global warming because “God wouldn’t let that happen”.
He was one of the most ignorant fucks I ever met, who just parroted everything his ignorant fundamentalist fuck parents (the ones the dissection kit came from!!!) said.

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 09/28/2007 12:28 AM

not sure how they make there drinks in Canada but in Mexico that is also a very popular drink but they call it a Clamato ( wonder why?)

OK no salt on the rim instead its glazed with chili powder

Fill glass with ice
Half a lime
A little worshitshire sauce (not sure on spelling
tobasco I like allot some people like a little
shot of Vodka
Clamato
Dash of celery salt and dash of pepper
stir vigiorsly

Enjoy!

Chestnuts roasted by mjgrass @ 09/28/2007 12:31 AM

Rob Zombies reimagining of Michael Myers
I started a Human Dissection class in college; but we’d only gotten through the SubQ fat when the school’s refrigeration system went off by a couple degrees. They had to scrub the whole semester’s labs.
I changed majors, anyway, so never got to finish.

And, yes, Old Bay makes everything better… I stay away from crab and fake crab, so don’t know that it makes them taste better.
Crab seasoning seasoned chips would be good; seasoned crab chips… not so much.

Chestnuts roasted by Raechel @ 09/28/2007 1:25 AM

Clam cuz of the clam juice and mato i dunno maybe cuz it looks like tomato?

Chestnuts roasted by y2jay @ 09/28/2007 2:05 AM

y2jay
I know that’s Clamato’s ingredients; but I’ve always wondered, how does one juice a clam? That’s a completely nasty thought.

Chestnuts roasted by Raechel @ 09/28/2007 2:22 AM

I remember trying to dissect a cow’s eye. Gave me a whole new respect for cows. When a creature has an eyeball whose surface is tough enough to break a scalpel, you respect it.

Chestnuts roasted by Alex @ 09/28/2007 3:15 AM

Sorry to be off topic but…
whoa, I didn’t know there were such clear pictures of Matt on here.
I’ve been reading this sight for over a year but have only just started reading through the really old stuff.
As if brains,charm,talent and wit weren’t enough…he’s pretty too!
Congrats on winning the genetic lottery on all counts,Matt.
‘Super-Angel’ and ‘Jailbait’ made my day.
(This observation, coupled with my name, is gonna make me look really superficial isn’t it.I’m not.)

Chestnuts roasted by diamonds @ 09/28/2007 3:30 AM

We only got to dissect a worm and a frog :(

*Mr. Burns voice* “Crabs and potatoes, eh?”

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 09/28/2007 6:35 AM

something about those chips doesn’t seem very appetizing

Chestnuts roasted by Joker @ 09/28/2007 6:46 AM

My high school biology teacher REFUSED to let us dissect anything…. Although, the AP kids got to do cats. Somethin’ Funny I hate all the people who deny global warming. It doesn’t even matter if we are or not…what really matters is using resources sustainably. We are runing out of oil! And me and someone with similar perspective to the guy you were talking about just had an annoying conversation about this.

Chestnuts roasted by Stefania @ 09/28/2007 7:45 AM

Being as I’m from the Baltimore, MD area, crab chips are something I grew up with. Absolutely love them and anything covered in Old Bay! It is the ubiquitous seasoning in these parts. The UTZ company makes the best crab chips ever, and even though they have a limited distribution area, one can order them from the UTZ website.

I am totally going to get me one of those frogs!

Chestnuts roasted by DarkSideofBrightness @ 09/28/2007 7:57 AM

I love crab and all, but I don’t want to think about crabs while I’m eating my Lays. :) Bonus points to anyone who reads that in a sexual way….

We had to dissect worms, frogs and pigs in junior high, and I still don’t get the point. But they really missed the boat on this one, they should have stuffed that gummy full of organs! I understand not wanting to scare the kids, but come on… How awesome would that have been? Candy liquid blood, maybe some marzipan in there somewhere…. Dude, maybe I’ll make that for next year! :D

Chestnuts roasted by Dr Sketch @ 09/28/2007 9:28 AM

Somethin’ Funny and Stefania – I’m not saying I deny global warming, but I have to say I’m not entirely convinced. After all – in the 70s there was a big deal about global cooling, which turned out, of course, to be horseshit. Even if global warming were not real (which it probably is) that is no reason for us to change our behavior; we should be caring for the planet no matter what shape it’s in.
“God wouldn’t let [global warming] happen” is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard. What did the kid do when his grandma died? How can you go through life with that worldview?

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 09/28/2007 9:39 AM

Matt,

if you have any on-demand function with your Staten Island Cable, do yourself the biggest favor and check out “Ghoul-a-go-go”. It’s in the 1000′s (channel), under “Staten Island on Demand”. It’s free… there’s about 5 episodes… and it’s my new favorite thing in this whole entire world!

Chestnuts roasted by BelmarBenny @ 09/28/2007 10:03 AM

It just occurred to me that I have an inherited “Cut out dissection – teach respect for life” sticker on my mirror. I don’t really have a problem with dissection but I do kind of think it should be limited to higher level classes. It seems unnecessary and outdated. Though of course it did give us that very special Good Morning Miss Bliss.
I’ve never had a Bloody Mary. I think the celery always put me off, but that’s obviously stupid. I’ve got a “Bloody Maria” recipe here that uses tequila, would that be totally gross? There’s another recipe here that uses gin and ketchup-but-no-tomato-juice, and I know that would be disgusting.
Pam’s eating Utz chips on The Office! I’ve never had them, I don’t know if they’re around here.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 09/28/2007 10:13 AM

i was gonna mention the clamato-and-budwieser in a can, but Eddie Lightning Frog already did; and incidentally, i live in texas, too.

i never got to dissect anything other than frogs and worms (did you know that a frog’s lung will fill up like a balloon if you stick a straw in it and blow? yep, just like a little wet, red balloon.
in high school, one class would dissect a shark, and it made the whole place stink for a week.

Chestnuts roasted by scott @ 09/28/2007 11:31 AM

If I ran a science class, I’d have my students dissect burritos.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 09/28/2007 12:12 PM

I would volunteer to clean up after your class.

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 09/28/2007 12:19 PM

so that gummi does look pretty rad. i never got to dissect a frog, but across my years of biology classes i have had to dissect a cat, a fetal big, a cow eye, numuerous worms, and owl pellets. to be honest, i liked the owl pellets the most just because they had skeletons in them….but oh well. crab flavored chips seem a little out there, but not if its just old bay seasoning because i swear if i dipped my own hand in old bay seasoning i would eat it.

Chestnuts roasted by Leigha @ 09/28/2007 1:05 PM

also….since when did X-E become a vehicle for political debate? i dont want my halloween joy tainted by the anger of those who give a damn.

Chestnuts roasted by Leigha @ 09/28/2007 1:13 PM

Bah…the only thing I ever got to cut open were those owls pellets.

Chestnuts roasted by hylianhobo @ 09/28/2007 1:17 PM

i forgot about those owl pellets. i got to dissect some at outdoor school, back in 6th grade. weird to think a bird shits that thing. can you imagine shitting bones?

Chestnuts roasted by scott @ 09/28/2007 1:19 PM

I read this site every so often, I really enjoy this Halloween countdown. Matt you should be getting paid for this, I’ve already bought 2 or 3 things in stores thanks to your site since I started visiting a few years ago.

Off topic, but does anyone remember McDonald’s Halloween Chicken McNugget toys that came in the Happy Meals? Those are some of my favorite Halloween things of all time, along with my dancing frankenstein that sings thriller. I wish they would do it again, I can only remember them doing it for 3 years. The buckets they do were cool as a kid but I could give a shit now.

Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 09/28/2007 1:26 PM

I’ve never tried Old Bay but I don’t know that I would necessarily want to start with crab flavored chips on that one.

Chestnuts roasted by Dan H @ 09/28/2007 1:42 PM

GUYS! GUYS!

MAAAAAATT!

Jones Soda has gone off the effin’ deep end. They are now offering DIRT and SWEAT flavored sodas. If THAT does not warrant them finding a slot on this year’s Halloween countdown, I don’t know what does.

Because that? That’s terrifying.

http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D8RU4GP80.htm

Chestnuts roasted by ChibiSoma @ 09/28/2007 2:15 PM

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