X-Entertainment.com X-Entertainment UGO
You are all doomed. Why not surrender? We might let you live.

« The Skull Fountain. [Main Index] Jason Takes Arsenio. »

09/27/2007: Dissecting Gummy Frogs, with Crab Chip bonus.

The latest Halloween Countdown entry, which I am dating as yesterday’s to keep myself and check and not try to skip a day, turns one of the most memorable and disgusting moments of grade school into hot Halloween candy. It’s the Gummy Frog Dissection Kit, and it comes with a knife and everything!

And as if that didn’t spike your appetite enough, get a load of these:


I wrote a big long hate rant against Clamato in my youth, but the truth is, I’ve warmed to the idea. Went to Canada a while back and had dinner with a bunch of locals who all ordered Bloody Caesars, which more or less take a Bloody Mary and replace the tomato juice with Clamato. I’ve always regretted not joining in. I love Bloody Marys, but I never feel right ordering them because I’m always the only person in the place who wants one. Caesars are like, the official drink of Canada. Everybody drinks them. It’s close enough to a Bloody Mary, and I’m tempted to go back there just so I can finally down the swishy red drink without having to be the only idiot in the joint with vegetables protruding out the top of his glass.

It’s those inklings that make me not at all averse to Lay’s new “Crab Spice Seasoning” chips. I never saw them before yesterday, so if they aren’t new, they’re at least new to my city. The list of ingredients vaguely refers to “crab spice seasoning,” but I’d say that they’re basically regular potato chips dunked in a pit of Old Bay. They really aren’t that bad, and while I wouldn’t christen them as the new “it boy” of Potato Chip Land, it’s neat to see bright red crabs on the potato chip bag you’re eating from.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

Bookmark and Share


Discussion Thread: 151 comments

Crab Spice? My spice rack seems to be missing that one.

Ghosted by Bill @ 09/27/2007 8:06 PM EDT

Ugh, I hated dissecting stuff. We had to do fish repeatedly (for some reason they see fit to dedicate a large chunk of the science curriculum EVERY YEAR to fish), and in middle school I had to do cow eyeballs twice, since one classmate missed that day and it needed to be done in partners. I nearly hurled several times because of that horrific formaldehyde smell. Eeeeewwww…I can still smell it!! Gah, thanks for reminding me, Matt. ;)

Ghosted by Frakkyfire @ 09/27/2007 8:10 PM EDT

I have never dissected a frog, but in school I did dissect:

A flower
An egg
Owl pellets
A worm
A crayfish
A sheep’s heart
A squid
A fetal pig

Never did the cow eyeball either. Our high school had cats and rats, but those were reserved for anatomy class.

Ghosted by Bluejay @ 09/27/2007 8:13 PM EDT

Bluejay, I was starting to think I was the only one who had to dissect a squid. I guess it makes sense now that I think about it, considering most places are landlocked. Outside of a worm in elementary and some owl pellets, that’s all I ever had to do. There was a picture of a pig fetus on my most recent biology book though. I covered that shit up with baby animal stickers. Full term baby animals.
I swear, you show me someone who didn’t hate middle school? I’ll show you somebody I’d like to punch in the face. Present company excluded, I’m sure.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 09/27/2007 9:08 PM EDT

Shuanfu, if it makes you feel better I dissected a fetal pig in Tennessee.

Ghosted by Ragnarok @ 09/27/2007 9:08 PM EDT

I like frogs and cats too much to dissect them. :)

One thing I’ll never understand,is why it is that if you believe in Jesus,than you have to NOT believe in pollution. Noone’s ever been able to explain this to me. If God were real,wouldn’t he be angry if you threw garbage in his woods,or put chemicals in his air? I don’t understand the correlation between God being real and pollution not being real. Pollution has nothing to do with your religious beliefs or political affiliation,and I’m not some tie dyed Dave Matthews fan driving an electric car to protest rallies,but poison in a lake equals a poison lake,poison in the air equals poison air. It’s pretty cut and dry.
Sorry,feel free to flame me.

Ghosted by Kid Nicky @ 09/27/2007 9:10 PM EDT

That frog looks so much better to dissect than the actual frogs we got to dissect.
We did all our dissecting in 10th grade.
It went from an earthworm that was about a foot long , the biggest GD crawfish I’d ever seen, through cows’ eyes, onto a horse head, with the capper being fetal pigs.
Our teacher, the greatest one I’d ever had, was a bit of a freak and made us name each thing. The only one I can recall, is that we named our pig Hamlet… and, it turned out to be a hermaphrodite.

Ghosted by Raechel @ 09/27/2007 9:22 PM EDT

Back when I was in grade 10 (which was a whole whopping 8 years ago) we dissected frogs and pig fetuses..wait a sec..is that supposed to be feti? Anyways, it was a baby pig. And a lamb’s brain. Except I went to high school in a small Newfoundland town of 1500 people (counting surrounding areas) and the pigs weren’t preserved right. Or they were way old and were opened once and some shit. Anyways the pigs just were decaying as we were dissecting them. The smell was terrible and many of us (including me) ended up running to the bathroom and puking. Even if we didn’t do it we got a pass cause of that little incident. Eww..

Anyways..my dissection horror story

Ghosted by Mandi @ 09/27/2007 9:42 PM EDT

In my small home town in Maine, the AP (advanced placement) science classes did cats. :( Thank God the system did NOT label me as an “advanced” student.

I did however fail bio my 10th grade year, because I refused to touch those damn fetal pigs. When I think about the smell, and that grey/green flesh…OMG…I am going to throw up. I had this OLD bitchy hard core science teacher whose only power in life was to pass or fail students…and of course she failed me.

The next year, I was a junior in with ALL sophomores for bio, but we had this new awesome young teacher, and she tells me, oh, I can get you a copy of the virtual dissection. She let anyone who wanted to, do the virtual dissection on the computer. That teacher kicked ass, we all loved her!

I wonder why schools dont just find a local vetrinarian, who would be willing to allow students in an operating room, to view SAVING an animals life?! I would have been all for that!

Ghosted by crazy_mainer @ 09/27/2007 9:55 PM EDT

Hoo boy…I took zoology my senior year of high school, so we literally had to do one dissection for each class of the animal kingdom! From sponges to rats and everything in between. The worst were probably the rats, since they were literally SATURATED with formaldehyde. It smelled like moldy cheese, which seemed really wrong since I like cheese a lot. The scariest was some kind of parasitic worm, since, as my teacher put it, there was an “extremely slight chance” of catching it… I enjoyed learning about animals, but all that dissection put me off going into zoology.

Ghosted by The Real Andrew @ 09/27/2007 10:14 PM EDT

I saw this thing at Target and thought it looked amazaing but then remembered that for as long as I can remember I’ve hated anything and everything to do with gummy. I just can’t do it. But, you make this sonofagun out of jello, and I’m there.

Until I read this article I’d never even heard of Clamato. I’m still not sure what the heck it is.

Wal-Mart has gone all out Christmas too. At least they had the decency this year to sepearate the holidays, putting the Christmas stuff in the gardening section and the Halloweenie stuff right smack dab in the middle of the store. Most of the time Halloween’s in the gardening section and as October progresses, the back row becomes a little Christmasy until finally giant Santa and Frosty statues are standing back there mocking Halloween, slowly advancing forward, and ruining my life.

They’re also carrying a new line of stuff that I think originated at Hot Topic. It’s called “Pretty Freekin Scary” and features cute little skeleton kids, the kind of stuff I would probably have propped up somewhere in my apartment all year round anyway. There’s a tote bag in the line with a picture of one of the kids on it with the words “You Smell Dead”. Guess Wally World’s trying to cash in on the Hot Topic crowd, or trying to compete with Target’s thing about putting creepy goth cartoon characters all over everything.

As far as dissecting goes, freshman year we went from small to big–working our way up from an earthworm, to a starfish, to a frog, to finally a fetal pig. I remember we had to scrape away the spine of the pig with the scaplel, cut the head open, peel back the skin, cut through the skull and after all that, if we could successfully remove the brain and spinal cord intact and all connected, we got an extra A+. My brain held up pretty well, but when I tried to take the whole thing out the spinal cord kind of fell apart in several pieces. And yeah, I agree, you NEVER forget that smell.

Ghosted by DJ D @ 09/27/2007 10:17 PM EDT

Kid Nicky – I’m an environmentalist and I believe in God (at the same time!) and I’m actually the organizer of a group that is trying to get our church to become more environmentally friendly. The correlation between my faith and environmentalism is obvious to me, but are tons of people who still think, for some reason, that ’subdue the earth’ means ‘destroy it’.

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 09/27/2007 10:23 PM EDT

You guys only dissected animals in school? So very boring. Next you guys will tell me that no one here has sliced up a human.

Ghosted by Rob Zombies reimagining of Michael Myers @ 09/27/2007 10:23 PM EDT

Back in Jr. High we cut up earth worms and a frog. It was gross but still managed to be very informative and a lot of fun. Call me crazy if you will… but I did have a frog foot, wrapped in brown paper towel, in my locker for a couple of days afterwards. I don’t recall what I did with it, but I am sure that I had grand plans of sticking it in someone’s PB&J sandwich at lunch or sneaking it into the hood of a random kid’s coat while standing in line for the bus.

Ghosted by Magic Toy @ 09/27/2007 10:33 PM EDT

I was a little skeptical about those crab chips at first. But, then I realized that I love Zapp’s Crawtators, so now I would like to see how Lay’s compares.

Also, Bloody Marys are quite common to drink at breakfast or brunch around here, but I’ve never had one because I hate tomato juice. Bleh.

Ghosted by GloomyJack @ 09/27/2007 10:43 PM EDT

I think the gummi frog dissection kit may be one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a while. I think I may have to try and track one of these down. Kind of surprised they didn’t have a gummi worm dissection kit as well. Always hated worms for some reason and never seemed to have a problem slicing one of those suckers in half to see what made them work.

Ghosted by jjwspider @ 09/27/2007 10:45 PM EDT

Just to clarify,I did not mean that ALL Christians are anti-environment,my anger is directed towards those that are,and use Christianity as their dreasoning. My girlfriend is Christian and she is against pollution.

Ghosted by Kid Nicky @ 09/27/2007 10:50 PM EDT

Yes, Old Bay DOES make everything better (though it’s generally used with seafood and potato chips). We’ve sold those in the grocery store where I work for a couple of weeks now, and many of my customers are very happy. You wouldn’t believe what some people would do for a chip that tastes like seafood seasoning.

Ghosted by starwenn @ 09/27/2007 11:03 PM EDT

You’re right, Kid Nicky. That’s absolutely undreasonable.

Heh, heh…sorry, I just couldn’t help myself.

Ghosted by DJ D @ 09/27/2007 11:08 PM EDT

That’s a very creative form of candy. Although it’s weird to see merchandise for a nearly-forgotten series of cartoon shorts that ran on Nicktoons TV a few years back.

In other Halloweeny news: for those interested in Clive Barker’s Jericho, there’s a free demo available for download on the XBox Live Arcade.

Ghosted by TB Tabby @ 09/27/2007 11:11 PM EDT

TB Tabby Jericho might be the single reason why I decided to get a X-Box 360 over a PS3. I’ve been on the fence about it for a while but once I heard Jericho was coming out, that settled it. I’m a big first person shooter guy and completely obsessed with Clive Barker, so it’s a marraige made in heaven as far as I’m concerned….or actually, in hell I would think. I can’t wait to get my 360 now. Too bad I gotta wait a while so I can actually afford it! It’s gonna be my birthday/Christmas present to myself.

Ghosted by DJ D @ 09/27/2007 11:19 PM EDT

Kid Nicky

Damn. I’ve typed like three different messages only to delete them all since they didn’t really represent exactly what I wanted to get across.

I’ll just say that in my opinion, sadly, some Christians probably deny the ill-effects of pollution (global warming, etc) because the people that are the most vocal in those causes are usually also the most vocal in calling anyone that subscribes to the idea of a higher power “idiots”.

I would bet that most Christians believe in cutting down on pollution, conserving resources, and not littering. You just don’t hear them ranting about it on TV, the newspapers, or the internet. They are just normal people who are living normal lives. You typically only hear the zealots on television… on both sides of the issue. Whatever the issue.

Ghosted by Magic Toy @ 09/27/2007 11:23 PM EDT

I remember that during frog dissection, some of the boys in my class figured out that you could pop the lenses out of the frog’s eyeball. They spent the rest of the lab bouncing them on the floor. As I remember, they were quite bouncy. That’s my weird 7th grade story. As to dissecting other things, I also am from TN and had to dissect a fetal pig. I wonder if it’s a TN thing. I would have liked to get to dissect a squid, but alas, my poor landlocked state makes that nearly impossible.

Ghosted by Jill @ 09/27/2007 11:29 PM EDT

Jill Who knew that frog eyeballs were all bouncy? Never would have thought it. I ate a fish eye once at a Chinese restaurant on a dare.

I’m just glad someone else around here lives in the south. I’m in SC and thought I was the only one. Not that I’m all full of some kind of super southern pride or anything. Just nice to know that someone else around here can relate. Although, I think someone else mentioned something about being from Texas once.

Ghosted by DJ D @ 09/27/2007 11:39 PM EDT

I don’t know why, but those chips look really good. But the frog I am disappointed in. I would have liked to have seen frog guts.

Ghosted by kb @ 09/28/2007 12:26 AM EDT

I once had a Christian tell me he didn’t believe in global warming because “God wouldn’t let that happen”.
He was one of the most ignorant fucks I ever met, who just parroted everything his ignorant fundamentalist fuck parents (the ones the dissection kit came from!!!) said.

Ghosted by Somethin' Funny @ 09/28/2007 12:28 AM EDT

not sure how they make there drinks in Canada but in Mexico that is also a very popular drink but they call it a Clamato ( wonder why?)

OK no salt on the rim instead its glazed with chili powder

Fill glass with ice
Half a lime
A little worshitshire sauce (not sure on spelling
tobasco I like allot some people like a little
shot of Vodka
Clamato
Dash of celery salt and dash of pepper
stir vigiorsly

Enjoy!

Ghosted by mjgrass @ 09/28/2007 12:31 AM EDT

Rob Zombies reimagining of Michael Myers
I started a Human Dissection class in college; but we’d only gotten through the SubQ fat when the school’s refrigeration system went off by a couple degrees. They had to scrub the whole semester’s labs.
I changed majors, anyway, so never got to finish.

And, yes, Old Bay makes everything better… I stay away from crab and fake crab, so don’t know that it makes them taste better.
Crab seasoning seasoned chips would be good; seasoned crab chips… not so much.

Ghosted by Raechel @ 09/28/2007 1:25 AM EDT

Clam cuz of the clam juice and mato i dunno maybe cuz it looks like tomato?

Ghosted by y2jay @ 09/28/2007 2:05 AM EDT

y2jay
I know that’s Clamato’s ingredients; but I’ve always wondered, how does one juice a clam? That’s a completely nasty thought.

Ghosted by Raechel @ 09/28/2007 2:22 AM EDT

I remember trying to dissect a cow’s eye. Gave me a whole new respect for cows. When a creature has an eyeball whose surface is tough enough to break a scalpel, you respect it.

Ghosted by Alex @ 09/28/2007 3:15 AM EDT

Sorry to be off topic but…
whoa, I didn’t know there were such clear pictures of Matt on here.
I’ve been reading this sight for over a year but have only just started reading through the really old stuff.
As if brains,charm,talent and wit weren’t enough…he’s pretty too!
Congrats on winning the genetic lottery on all counts,Matt.
‘Super-Angel’ and ‘Jailbait’ made my day.
(This observation, coupled with my name, is gonna make me look really superficial isn’t it.I’m not.)

Ghosted by diamonds @ 09/28/2007 3:30 AM EDT

We only got to dissect a worm and a frog :(

*Mr. Burns voice* “Crabs and potatoes, eh?”

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 09/28/2007 6:35 AM EDT

something about those chips doesn’t seem very appetizing

Ghosted by Joker @ 09/28/2007 6:46 AM EDT

My high school biology teacher REFUSED to let us dissect anything…. Although, the AP kids got to do cats. Somethin’ Funny I hate all the people who deny global warming. It doesn’t even matter if we are or not…what really matters is using resources sustainably. We are runing out of oil! And me and someone with similar perspective to the guy you were talking about just had an annoying conversation about this.

Ghosted by Stefania @ 09/28/2007 7:45 AM EDT

Being as I’m from the Baltimore, MD area, crab chips are something I grew up with. Absolutely love them and anything covered in Old Bay! It is the ubiquitous seasoning in these parts. The UTZ company makes the best crab chips ever, and even though they have a limited distribution area, one can order them from the UTZ website.

I am totally going to get me one of those frogs!

Ghosted by DarkSideofBrightness @ 09/28/2007 7:57 AM EDT

I love crab and all, but I don’t want to think about crabs while I’m eating my Lays. :) Bonus points to anyone who reads that in a sexual way….

We had to dissect worms, frogs and pigs in junior high, and I still don’t get the point. But they really missed the boat on this one, they should have stuffed that gummy full of organs! I understand not wanting to scare the kids, but come on… How awesome would that have been? Candy liquid blood, maybe some marzipan in there somewhere…. Dude, maybe I’ll make that for next year! :D

Ghosted by Dr Sketch @ 09/28/2007 9:28 AM EDT

Somethin’ Funny and Stefania – I’m not saying I deny global warming, but I have to say I’m not entirely convinced. After all – in the 70s there was a big deal about global cooling, which turned out, of course, to be horseshit. Even if global warming were not real (which it probably is) that is no reason for us to change our behavior; we should be caring for the planet no matter what shape it’s in.
“God wouldn’t let [global warming] happen” is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard. What did the kid do when his grandma died? How can you go through life with that worldview?

Ghosted by Jessica Marie @ 09/28/2007 9:39 AM EDT

Matt,

if you have any on-demand function with your Staten Island Cable, do yourself the biggest favor and check out “Ghoul-a-go-go”. It’s in the 1000’s (channel), under “Staten Island on Demand”. It’s free… there’s about 5 episodes… and it’s my new favorite thing in this whole entire world!

Ghosted by BelmarBenny @ 09/28/2007 10:03 AM EDT

It just occurred to me that I have an inherited “Cut out dissection – teach respect for life” sticker on my mirror. I don’t really have a problem with dissection but I do kind of think it should be limited to higher level classes. It seems unnecessary and outdated. Though of course it did give us that very special Good Morning Miss Bliss.
I’ve never had a Bloody Mary. I think the celery always put me off, but that’s obviously stupid. I’ve got a “Bloody Maria” recipe here that uses tequila, would that be totally gross? There’s another recipe here that uses gin and ketchup-but-no-tomato-juice, and I know that would be disgusting.
Pam’s eating Utz chips on The Office! I’ve never had them, I don’t know if they’re around here.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 09/28/2007 10:13 AM EDT

i was gonna mention the clamato-and-budwieser in a can, but Eddie Lightning Frog already did; and incidentally, i live in texas, too.

i never got to dissect anything other than frogs and worms (did you know that a frog’s lung will fill up like a balloon if you stick a straw in it and blow? yep, just like a little wet, red balloon.
in high school, one class would dissect a shark, and it made the whole place stink for a week.

Ghosted by scott @ 09/28/2007 11:31 AM EDT

If I ran a science class, I’d have my students dissect burritos.

Ghosted by kingklash @ 09/28/2007 12:12 PM EDT

I would volunteer to clean up after your class.

Ghosted by Somethin' Funny @ 09/28/2007 12:19 PM EDT

so that gummi does look pretty rad. i never got to dissect a frog, but across my years of biology classes i have had to dissect a cat, a fetal big, a cow eye, numuerous worms, and owl pellets. to be honest, i liked the owl pellets the most just because they had skeletons in them….but oh well. crab flavored chips seem a little out there, but not if its just old bay seasoning because i swear if i dipped my own hand in old bay seasoning i would eat it.

Ghosted by Leigha @ 09/28/2007 1:05 PM EDT

also….since when did X-E become a vehicle for political debate? i dont want my halloween joy tainted by the anger of those who give a damn.

Ghosted by Leigha @ 09/28/2007 1:13 PM EDT

Bah…the only thing I ever got to cut open were those owls pellets.

Ghosted by hylianhobo @ 09/28/2007 1:17 PM EDT

i forgot about those owl pellets. i got to dissect some at outdoor school, back in 6th grade. weird to think a bird shits that thing. can you imagine shitting bones?

Ghosted by scott @ 09/28/2007 1:19 PM EDT

I read this site every so often, I really enjoy this Halloween countdown. Matt you should be getting paid for this, I’ve already bought 2 or 3 things in stores thanks to your site since I started visiting a few years ago.

Off topic, but does anyone remember McDonald’s Halloween Chicken McNugget toys that came in the Happy Meals? Those are some of my favorite Halloween things of all time, along with my dancing frankenstein that sings thriller. I wish they would do it again, I can only remember them doing it for 3 years. The buckets they do were cool as a kid but I could give a shit now.

Ghosted by Paul @ 09/28/2007 1:26 PM EDT

I’ve never tried Old Bay but I don’t know that I would necessarily want to start with crab flavored chips on that one.

Ghosted by Dan H @ 09/28/2007 1:42 PM EDT

GUYS! GUYS!

MAAAAAATT!

Jones Soda has gone off the effin’ deep end. They are now offering DIRT and SWEAT flavored sodas. If THAT does not warrant them finding a slot on this year’s Halloween countdown, I don’t know what does.

Because that? That’s terrifying.

http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D8RU4GP80.htm

Ghosted by ChibiSoma @ 09/28/2007 2:15 PM EDT

Add A New Comment!


This entry was posted on Thursday, September 27th, 2007 at 4:27 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.