X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

08/17/2007: X-E is bigger than Jesus.

I really needed a kick in the neck to restore my motivation after a week’s worth of dry X-E due to an overload of work, and last night, I got it.

We went over to Best Buy, because I felt that I could relieve stress by purchasing DVDs that I would probably never open. The woman strolled off to whatever aisle it is that she usually strolls off to, and I made my way into the horror section. I’m not sure if the two-disc Jaws special edition set could be considered a “horror” DVD, but there it was, and due to its 50% off sticker, it went into my pile.

Next was It’s Alive, a fairly famous flick (alliteration!) that I’ve somehow never seen outside of creepy pictures in old science fiction magazines. At five bucks, I couldn’t pass it up. Finally, I chose the first season set of Tales From The Crypt, mainly for the episode where Larry Drake plays a psychotic killer Santa Claus.

Now armed with over 12 hours of quality entertainment, I was ready to go home. The woman wandered over with a copy of Bridge to Terabithia, which I talked her out of by saying that I heard it sucked, even though I’ve never heard anything about it, and in reality just didn’t want to see yet another movie with the kid who had to take a “wicked crap” in RV. Enough’s enough.

So, we sauntered up the horror aisle on our trek to the cashier, and out of the corner of my eye, I see…this:

Holy hell! I couldn’t believe it. Ghoulies IV made its way to DVD? Ghoulies IV?! I would’ve been less surprised to see a DVD of that Lifetime movie where an evil Johnny Galecki commits suicide by walking into a burning house to the chagrin of Judith Light. Really, Ghoulies IV?

My gasp was audible, my excitement palpable, and there were a ton of other cliches swarming around as I lifted the DVD box, held it to the sky and thanked God. While it’s rarely a good sign to see a DVD with a seven buck price tag when it isn’t even on sale, I’m just happy to know that this very obscure and final chapter of my beloved Ghoulies series can now be witnessed by more than the three people who rented the VHS copy back in 1994.

That’s not the best part. As I reviewed the cover artwork, I flipped to the back of the box to see if there were any special features included. No dice there, but I saw something even better…

I’m quoted! I AM MOTHERFUCKING QUOTED ON THE GHOULIES IV DVD BOX!

“…one of the more better-acted films of the genre…” — X-ENTERTAINMENT
The line isn’t even grammatical, and I don’t care! Longtime readers may remember that I reviewed the film back in 2002, and that review is where they grabbed the quote from. This incident instantly became one of my all time favorite X-E moments, narrowly beating out the day one of the girls who starred in that Treehouse Trolls video e-mailed me to confirm that what she starred in was stupid.

I’m wondering how this will change things for me. Like, if I head down to Nobu or some other ritzy restaurant, can I flash the back of this DVD box to the maitre d’ for priority seating? If I ever make it back to Six Flags, will they let me skip to the front of the lines?

I’m totally going to have to get new business cards made up, too. There’s so much to be done!

Fondly recalling my time spent as a five-year-old at the long-dead Ma & Pa video store up the block from our old house, staring at that little green monster in the toilet on the VHS sleeve for the original Ghoulies movie and wondering what in the fuck, it’s nice to see things come full circle. Now that I am a bona fide celebrity nearing the top of the A list, I promise to use my powers for the forces of good.

Congrats, that had to be the coolest experience ever. Browsing the DVDS and seeing yourself quoted on one.

Holy crap! Well, congrats Matt, truly that is an honor that most of us can only dream of. Must have been a surreal moment.

Welcome to the club. You join my blurb for the “Cursed: Unrated Edition” DVD: “This film’s got bite!”

Sweet! It is funny though that they would use your quote and not tell you. We could have totally had a release party and everything for you. Ah well…we can still celebrate!

(btw, my lady made me go see terebithia, and suck it did. you were on point with your derailment of purchase)

Wow, that is a beautiful thing. A DVD fanatic, such as myself, recognizes just how truly great of an honor this is. I think in the all-time list of “honors” it falls just above winning a grammy and just below getting a medal of bravery from Princess Leia.

VERY nice! Even if it is Ghoulies IV, you got a freaking blurb! I wish to do that someday…

I second MaryJane’s idea, but I think you should do what Bill Waterson did with some Calvin & Hobbes books and sign then in-store and put them back on the shelf.

It said “New BJ 99c” and it wasn’t even the only sign on the building that said it! My gf was slightly pissed because I acted 12 by taking the pic for the sign and not the nice Buddha statue that was above it.

You da man! Maybe next you’ll find yourself quoted on the back of a “Munchie Strikes Back” DVD!

oh.SHIT!!!! Matt that’s frigg’n amazing! Way to go, man. Just the fact that the Ghoulies IV people /read/ XE should get you really pumped and really nervous at the same time. I wonder who else is reading right now? Spielberg?? Betty White?!

Also, caught a midnight showing of Superbad last night. Was really good, and I rarely say that about comedies.

Truly cool Matt. I think somehow it makes it even better to have the quote be a semi-awkwardly worded backhanded compliment.

Way to go! And i was glad to know that i’m not the only one who buys dvds as a form of therapy. there’s something very calming about browsing those aisles and finding a favorite movie. (i found the 2 disc special edition set of “escape from new york” in a $5 bin at a discount store!

Awesome Matt! I’m currently taking a vacation down here in Savannah. Holy hell it’s hot. I used AC as an excuse to check the internet…

Oh yeah, I’ve only seen the first Ghoulies. It was so absurdly funny, in a Troll 2 kinda way.

This is why grammar matters. You never know which trivial bit of writing will find it’s way into immortality. That’s right I said immortality. You do realize don’t you that everyone who picks up this movie is going to look at the quote and think, “hmmm, X-E writes like a six year old”

NikToad: I’m totally going to beat you over the head with a bat that has the word “its” painted on it in bright green.

I think my new goal is to review everything as positively as possible in the hopes of obtaining more packaging blurb mentions.

haha congrats matt!!! quoted on a DVD cover? can i have your autograph?? in other good news, my dad had to go grocery shopping yesterday, and while in the grocery store i decided to explore the dollar store and what did i see when i walked in? 3 FULL ISLES DEDICATED TO …HALLOWEEN…I almost puked from excitement…when I got there the poor Dollarama girl was on a ladder still hanging up skulls and other black and orange garb and the first thing i thought of was how i had to run back to my sad little happy place and let all of you know!!!! I swear it was yesterday I was rumaging through the leftovers of halloween related items and now its BACK in all its glory…while its still a million degrees outside. LOVE IT.

That’s three or four kinds of amazing!! (One of them is… it reminds me of Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s… “Attsa mowah bettah!”)

WOW!! Quoted on a DVD box?!?!? That’s epic. This definitely deserves some sort of party. Imaginary drinks all ’round!

…somehow it would seem sad if we all just sat at our computers and got drunk. Still, I’m tempted.

Completely… freaking… AWESOME! I may have to hunt that DVD down just to commemorate this grand event!! In fact, I think I’ll look for it this weekend!

And now that you’re all A-list and stuff, whatever happened to my Christmas card?! LOL I need that for posterity! “I knew him when…”

Good Lord we will never hear the end of this.
This is a bit cooler than sneaking X-E into that commercial of yours. So congrats.

I’m going to agree with you on Bridge to Terabithia. I was extremely disappointed.

Actually, Matt, it would probably be a better idea to give a positive review to every cheesy bad movie like Ghoulies IV. You can be the new “Mystery Science Theatre 3000″ of the web (which just so happens to be the place where I first saw that movie). I then watched it later in it’s original form later. It was fun.

I’ve been away for awhile I went to LBI, fun times. I went to The Shell Shanty but I couldn’t find the octopus lamp

I was so going to buy it too.

Woo-hoo! Let’s all ride on Matt’s coattails, there’s enough room for us all! Wheee!

Now on a more serious subject, does anyone else have trouble buying DVD’s like I do? I’ll pick up the perfect DVD walk around the store looking at something else then put it back telling myself, “you’ll never watch that”. Just today I did that with Star Wars at Costco and it was only $9.99. Geeze, I can sort of rationalize the behavior for something like the Ultraman boxed set, but $9 bucks? What’s wrong with me?

Holy crap!! I gotta get that dvd! Last year there was a spate of premium cable channels showing it and I watched it several times. I thought it had a lot more charm than the 4th sequel in the Ghoulies franchise had any right to be, personally. Now if they would just put C.H.U.D 2: Bud the CHUD out on dvd..

That is really cool that X-E was quoted! And what a strange way to discover said quote.

Matt, Congrats on being on the A List. Hopefully, you’ll remember all of us that have been following you for years when you’re going to the red-carpet premieres.

Another note. I just got a new HDTV, and ended up getting an HD channel called Monsters. Its basically a channel that plays nothing but horror movies. The lineup throughout the week plays movies like Friday the 13th part 2, Creepshow, Tales from the Darkside, Hellraiser… It rules.

That news has made my shitty day at work less shitty. I am soooo off to Best Buy to snag that little piece of awesome pressed on plastic.

I think the trick here is to find a b-movie that is universally loathed and give it the most obsurdly shining review of it as you can. That will get you and the back of the eventual blue ray edition of said b-movie for sure!!

Congrats, Matt, that is fantastic! If you don’t mind, I’m gonna start dropping your name at parties.

Congrats! I can only imagine the vindication you must feel ;) Here’s hoping to see more X-E quotes on DVD’s!

Since this is available cheaply on DVD, I propose we all buys copies, synchronize our watches, and have another virtual slumber party.

Wow. Somebody in the marketing department over there deserves a raise. I mean, most of the people who would even consider buying Ghoulies IV probably comment on this board regularly. So they’ve probably tripled their sales right there.

Matt, you are my hero. I want to have one of my reviews credited on the back on a DVD case too!

Off-topic, but it’s important news for us. They’re making a Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash comic book miniseries. It starts in November.

That’s incredible. Way to go! Here you were, out for materialistic excitement and you got this…amazing.

That’s pretty fucking awesome. I’ll bet your advertisement rate just went up by 5 bucks. I think my dream would be to get quoted on a DVD of Once Bitten. Some day…

Wow, that is cool! Although you’d think they would have let you know if they were using your quote. Don’t they have to ask, or pay you for that, or something? Oh well. I don’t know what I’m talking about anyway. Congrats again.

Mal- I write for a movie review site and several times companies used blurbs from our reviews for DVDs. Usually the only way we ever find out is if we come across the box in the store. They hardly ever bother to contact us and sadly, have never sent monetary compensation.

Thats fuckin crazy! I cant even imagine the reaction on your face when you saw that you were directly quoted on the freakin DVD box….holy crap! Congrats

You’d think they’d tell you for using that quote. It’s pretty cool though. I’d love to be quoted on the back of something.

It was bound to happen sooner or later. A very big congrats to you, Matt. You deserve it.

That is so AWESOME! Wow. If I were quoted on the back of something, I’d have to go kill myself right after seeing it, because from that point on, life would be all downhill.

Congratulations on the (unexpected) mention of the site. I’m curious about the “Treehouse Trolls” thing (one of my favorite articles, BTW); were you contacted by the actress who played the young girl Lisa, or by someone who was stuck inside a Troll costume?

You’ve arrived, Matt! Spielberg will start returning your calls regarding that Cobra’s Chia Plot screenplay any day now.

I am really excited for you, that’s really cool- Here’s to the future! What ultra-B horror movie boxes can you make it onto next?

Joker: I’m still considering my next target, but it’s kind of hard to concentrate with all the red carpet invites and monetary offers to appear at sponsored parties rolling in today.

You ought to consider asking for ROYALTIES. Make huge bucks in the quotations industry.

Congrats Matt! It seems like just yesterday (okay, last week) that you were having fecal problems with birds - today your soaring on the awesome news of your review making it to the back of the DVD. Too frakkin’ sweet!

In light of your good news, maybe tomorrow night’s thread should include the biggest surprise you’ve ever had happen to you.

OK, so that is actually pretty awesome…and I think it’s actually better with the bad grammar! It wouldn’t be anywhere near as funny if such a terrible movie had a stuffy, grammatically correct quote on the back…

Well congrats..but don’t let this success go to your head. We don’t want to hear that you’ve moved to LA and began to date and bed both Britney and Paris( at the same time). A start adopting 17 year old Koren (girls).

I’m saying it’s illegal or that it should be, but it’s sorta weird that they just grabbed a quote from you and didn’t even tell you about it. It makes me wonder if some blog I posted years back is quoted in some obscure magazine or if that time I was on my local news and my parents forgot to record it it was in fact recorded by some weird stalker woman who has my hairs in a volley-ball likeness of my head in her closet surrounded by incense and candles.

Damn, boy, congratulations! Even if it’s a horror sequel (a fourth horror sequel, at that), it’s still something people are going to see. It was in Best Buy, after all!

Congrats man!!!!! Thats freaking awesome!!! I always wondered where in the hell they got those quotes from. I mean whenever I go to the video store and see some god awful movie, they seem to have found the one person on the planet that liked it. I always thought they made it up and slapped a name that sounded famous below it.

Does anyone remember “Sorority Babes and the Slime Bowl-a-rama”? THAT is the definition of a so-bad-it’s-good horror flick, meeting all your criteria Matt!

Man I miss “USA Up all Night” with Gilbert Godfrey and Rhonda Sheer, totally excellent bad movies. I watched it every weekend and was proud of the savant-like traits I developed like starting at the extreme left side of the TV screen during the wet t-shirt scene to catch a shot of breast (about one frame’s worth) that didn’t get edited for TV….good times!

I’m totally going out to get Ultraman this week, thanks for the recommendation

Holy Cow, congrats Matt! I AM surprised they didn’t have to inform you of its usage, but hey! That there’s portfolio material! You could break it out at inappropriate times, too. “yes sir, I’d like a $200,000 loan oh yes, and I’m on quoted on Ghoulies IV”. “Mom could you pass the turkey and the Ghoulies IV DVD ? Thanks.”

WOW! My jaw dropped when I saw that, so I can only imagine how much you freaked out when you saw it. That is wickedly awesome, Matt. Congrats.

Of COURSE you would buy Ghoulies IV, so this DVD was meant to be in your hands…with your quote. Too cool.

dear gods! thats so cool i started shouting with glee! its so late its early here and i just got yelled at for being too loud

Congratulations Matt. I can only aspire to have something 1/16 as awesome to happen to me someday. (I say this with the up-most sincerity.) And fuck good grammar.

Matt! That is so great! Congrats! Have you shown EVERYBODY you know yet?!! I would have

Holy cow, it’s official: Matt exists, and we’re not the only ones who see him. This is beyond awesome, man, congratulations. Next thing you know, you’re gonna be on the cover of US Weekly where they’ll allege that you’re breaking up Brad and Angelina.

Very cool, Matt. I think it’s funny that they didn’t even mention it to you. I’m also wondering how long this DVD has been out. Obviously after 2002, but how long have you really been a celebrity without knowing it?

That’s awesome about the blurb, Matt!
Reminds me a little about a scene in “Good Morning, Vietnam” where Bruno Kirby’s hardass army character proudly states that “Readers’ Digest is considering publishing two of my jokes.”
Being quoted on the back of a DVD cover is so much cooler than that. If I could be quoted on the back (or front) of any DVD, it would have to be some special edition region 1 release of “Phantasm” that will never probably exist. By the way, I do own the special edition Phantasm Region 2 set where the discs come packaged within a large silver sphere, probably the coolest thing I will ever own.

Haha, that’s so cool Matt ! Kinda sucks that they didn’t put .com after X-ENTERTAINMENT, but I guess people can figure it out.

This Vault isn’t half bad, and it’s warm as hell. Can’t wait for the rest to get cold.

Matt! - I call first dibs and shotgun on being in your entourage! Score! I can’t believe no one beat me to it!

Well, I call dibs on being Matt’s bodyguard. I have dirty words and empty threats for all who would harm a single hair on his head.

Firstly, I say that this is the coolest thing that I have ever seen in this blog. Matt’s site has so very much awesome, but this is the coolest thing to ever come out of the blog. Go Matt!

It will be hilarious when sales on this DVD increase far beyond expectations just because all of Matt’s fans are compelled to buy copies now. Seriously I’m planning on buying this now, when I never normally would have, and I know many of the rest of us are as well.

Out Fucking Standing. What a hoot it must have been for you. Now where do we get autograph copies?

Holy Hell. Awesome. The grammar makes it even more win, imo. Congrats. I was actually in best buy earlier looking for a cheap movie to watch. If I had saw that, I SO would have got it. No question. Yeah. >.>

I’m going to argue that with better and acted hyphenated together as they are, this is actually correct.

i was thinking the issue might have more to do with the phrase “more better” than the hyphen, but either way it’s awesome!

personally i feel that as long as people understand what you’re trying to say it kind of negates any of the other rules, communicating well with your readers seems to be a talent few seem to possess anymore using proper english or not, matt has proven to be one of those few, congrats!

That’s Freakin Awesome Matt, it was just meant to be!!!! So ummm when u going to sign my copy?

Man, maybe this does mean a bird shitting on you is good luck.
Congrats to the fullest! What a great story. I’d like to throw my voice into the chorus asking for a chance to own my very own personal autographed copy.
You’re motherfucking quoted on the Ghoulies IV box! That’s epic. I guess now you have to go study in India and then go on to record all of your best albums.

Wickedly awesome, Matt! Don’t get so big you quit this site. I think a lot of people would be very lost.

Joker- Sony actually lost a class action lawsuit because of that. The movie poster said “This summer’s funniest movie!” or some such,and since it was for Rob Schneider’s The Animal,Sony had to refund the ticket price of anyone named in the suit. The quote was attributed to a real paper,but a fake reporter.

HAHA, that’s so fucking cool. I was reading this last night and started laughing and my friend/boyfriend/god-only-knows, raised his eyebrow at me so I explained and him and he just looked confused and went back to rifling through all my things.

Congratz Matt!!… you do realize that from now on every time you see a dvd of a (obscure) movie you reviewed you will now flip over to see if there are any quotes by yourself don’t you…

Wow, that’s great news Matt! I’m surprised their people didn’t have to contact your people (ie: You) in order to get permission to do that. Don’t they owe you a slice of that sweet pie of cash that they’ll be making of your solid reputation?

Being quoted on Ghoulies 4 is more gooder than nothing! :P But seriously Matt, that’s pretty fucking wild!

Congrats Matt, but I have to say I think they used the wrong quote if they are trying to get across how awesome this movie is. Personally I would of went with “watching Ghoulies IV was a lot more fun than eating poinsettia or devising a way to shit on my face”

That’s so cool. It had to be a thrill to see something you wrote on the back of a DVD. Big congrats, man!

DVD Box I mean. Well, I’m sure you knew that. But I just wanted to make that clear. Uh…I’ll go now.

Maybe not bigger than Jesus, but bigger than Bigger Than Cheeses, the X’s Giant Ape Juice rival.

wow…you got me beat…my claim to fame is getting two drawings on uncle floyds show back in the 80’s

Holy Sh&% Matt! Congratulations! I can’t believe how long ago that was when you wrote and I read that article. You are the man!

Quoted on the fucking box? Matt thats awesome! This day just keeps geting better and now I’m gonna go see Chilliwack. Kickass, and congrats.

Congrats, Matt! Maybe the three other people who buy this DVD will check out the site and realize your greatness!

Fantastic, bro! Awesome! You rule the net! Here’s another sentence ending with an “!”! I’ll use three on this one, cuz I really mean it: Big time props!!!

That’s so awesome man. Shame for not letting your lady have the movie she wants whilst you got away with hours of nerdy horror shit though :p

Congrats Matt, you really need to start showing that off to anyone who questions what you’re doing.

Congratulations! I think the best part about you being an internet celebrity is the fact that you took the unusual route of not being a horrible narcissistic asswipe bent on becoming an internet celebrity. When does your book come out? I’ll buy it!

Wow! Congrats! I guess this site is more influential than even you would’ve thought, Matt! Certainly influential than I did. Although X-E apparently is described on Wikipedia, believe it or not. Were you interviewed for that article, Matt? Cause I noticed it mentioned your last name (which I won’t mention here), and I don’t think you’ve ever given it on the site at all, not even in the “About Me” section.

Welp, considering your writing style, which I quite envy (and I majored in creative writing in college), I hope if some DVD distributor (or maybe Hollywood or some entertainment magazine for a just-released movie, who knows?) wants to quote you, they notice some of your more creative passages.

“…at the long-dead Ma & Pa video store up the block from our old house, staring at that little green monster in the toilet on the VHS sleeve for the original Ghoulies movie and wondering what in the fuck…”
THAT is a quote from my life. Ever after that day, I always check the toilet before sitting down.

That is real boss, I think thats just the tops.It’s kinda weird and cool that you found it before any of your readers did. I wonder how long it would of took for one of us to find it.

Funny story: I went to Wal-Mart like an hour after I read this blog post and while browsing the movie section, saw a DVD containing “It’s Alive” and both of its sequels for $10. Coincidence?

Congrats, thats awsome. Am I the only one that finds it kinda funny that with all the critics and horror sites that this was the most positive quotes they could find. To me it just reads “really the acting is not quite as awful as you’d think”

Although X-E apparently is described on Wikipedia, believe it or not. — Andrew

Whoah… That’s cool. I am such a Wikipedia addict. I can’t believe I didn’t think of XE being listed.

“…watching Ghoulies IV was more fun than eating poinsettia or devising a way to shit on my face’ - X-Entertainment

That is awesome! Please tell me you pointed it out to the cashier when checking out.

I haven’t stopped by in a long time but I decided to see what has been up in X-E land and now I’m glad I did. Seeing you quoted on a DVD is freakin awesome man big congrats! I mean screw grammar it’s terribly overrated anyway X-E has had a cult following for years it’s quite fitting that you get quoted on a cult classic like Ghoulie IV

I’m surprised you didn’t grab the cashier when you were checkin out and blurt out “See that quote there?!? That was ME I said that!” cuz you totally should have

Add A New Comment!

This entry was posted on Friday, August 17th, 2007 at 1:30 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.