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08/13/2007: You have never heard of Weird Ball figures and thus you do not care.

Sort of like less refined and more obscure Garbage Pail Kids, the Mel Apple company’s Weird Ball series consisted of glossy, wacky trading cards with a definitive gross slant. Whereas GPK cards were mostly a free-for-all, Weird Ball seemed to fashion itself as some kind of parody sports set, with the nutty characters all being based on different kinds of athletes. Course, they took a few liberties. You were just as likely to find ninjas and bloody army dudes as baseball players.

I thought the line to be an immense failure at least in terms of sales, but it must’ve done okay considering the fact that there were a couple of different toys spun from the card series. In fact, if you look beyond the larger and now prohibitively pricey Weird Ball action figures, you’ll find another set of playthings that could’ve given our old pink pals from M.U.S.C.L.E. a run for their money.


If the cards were an attempt to cash in on GPK’s success, Weird Ball Mini Collectums were most definitely a vie to swipe some of the tiny toy pie from the M.U.S.C.L.E. collection, which debuted just a year earlier than these in 1985.

Even the package jokes about the figures’ poor quality, but while they indeed fall short of M.U.S.C.L.E. in terms of the materials used, but I’m not so sure that they lack heart. Considering that you got twelve of these dudes for about the price of four M.U.S.C.L.E. figures, it wasn’t such a bum deal at all.


I feel almost guilty saying this, and maybe it’s just because the things are so fresh and new to me, but these Weird Ball figures seem almost as good as M.U.S.C.L.E. figures. Aside from the insane level of detail, they’re just great characters. Everything from some kind of zombie sheriff to another guy who looks like a Madball with legs is represented, and I’m now totally convinced that I need to spend the evening carving them a miniature dollhouse out of soap and coconut shells.

When I think back, I have really vague recollections of other M.U.S.C.L.E. knockoff lines. We’d usually find them at pharmacies or lower end toy stores, and even if they weren’t official, I loved ‘em to death. Think I would’ve loved these to death, too. There’s just something about action figures small enough to pocket in your cheek like a hamster on a grape.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 147 comments

Hmmm… Not necessarily a monster, but I would love a bug themed cereal. Perhaps a “Giant Ants Attack!” cereal. I could eat strawberry (red ants) and chocolate (black ants) cereal. Even though it was black and white.

Ghosted by fistpittingnork @ 08/14/2007 12:30 PM EDT


Hey, is that Amazon ad on the sidebar linked to your Amazon browsing history?

Because it is showing the 9th Pokemon movie and I was defintely scoping that last night on Amazon o_O

Ghosted by Knegative @ 08/14/2007 12:31 PM EDT


I can’t tell if it is or isn’t. I’m at work and our network control center has flash, java, etc.. ads and banners disabled, so all I see is “Access Denied”.

Ghosted by fistpittingnork @ 08/14/2007 1:17 PM EDT


As far as I can tell, that thing dangling between karate dude’s legs is part of his belt. Or, it could be, well, you know…

Ghosted by Bludge @ 08/14/2007 1:37 PM EDT


Did anyone notice the sign on the bottom left corner of the packaging? “Dissatisfaction guaranteed!” That’s some awesome truth in advertising!

Ghosted by heeree @ 08/14/2007 1:39 PM EDT


Okay, yeah, after a little investigation I have concluded that it is based on your browsing history and their subsequent recommendations.

No way they would shill Pokemon and Final Fantasy that much to a random person on the net.

Ghosted by Knegative @ 08/14/2007 1:48 PM EDT


i wish i was seeing alice cooper tonight. – i’m going to see DAUGHTERS and COALESCE tomorrow night though, so that sorta makes up for it..

Ghosted by Andrew @ 08/14/2007 1:51 PM EDT


I think it might possibly be, Kneg. I get a lot of MST3K and related showing up, so there’s some kind of connection.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 08/14/2007 1:52 PM EDT


Damn this tiny keyboard and it’s slow typing! :P

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 08/14/2007 1:54 PM EDT


I’m still getting 403 errors. This sucks.

Ghosted by Bill @ 08/14/2007 1:58 PM EDT


Of course that went through. (a little embarressed)

Fistpittingnork: I saw Alice Cooper a couple of years ago. It was a great show! He still does the “Welcome to my nightmare” theatrics on stage, even cutting off his own head.

Ghosted by Bill @ 08/14/2007 2:04 PM EDT


Haha, I searched google for “HM Slaves other than Birabel” and only got one response. X-E :D

Ghosted by Knegative @ 08/14/2007 2:09 PM EDT


Kneg: I think the sidebar ads must be linked to your browsing history, because I can’t think of any other reason I’d be getting Lane Bryant ads on X-E :/

Ghosted by jazzy @ 08/14/2007 3:19 PM EDT


Bill hell yes he does, I was hoping he’d do that when I saw him last September and he did! I love that skit.

His theatrics are top notch, for 60ish years old this guy STILL rocks out like he’s in his 20s. Extremely active on stage for 2 hours, the guy is incredible!

Plus his hot daughter performs on stage, too! I’m 5 rows up extreme center stage, so hopefully I’ll catch some fake money during Billion Dollar Babies or a baby head or something.

Ghosted by fistpittingnork @ 08/14/2007 3:39 PM EDT


My parents saw Alice Cooper last Friday at our state fair. My mom sat next to the speaker and her ears were ringing the next day.

Ghosted by JLAJRC @ 08/14/2007 3:58 PM EDT


fistpittingnork — True Story…The man and I went to the inaugural game for the Phoenix Coyotes (because we both love hockey and I love all of the blood) and we had AWESOME seats 4 rows back from the glass just off center ice. Anyway, we were waiting for the festivites to start and my husband tells me to look behind me because Alice Cooper has his knee in my back. Turn around and there he is! Minutes later the GM of the team brings his kid down to meet AC so we sort of got to meet the GM as well. That night we tuned into Sport Center to see if we made it on TV and they cut our heads off but AC made it. Oh well, at least I had better seats!

We see him quite a bit here since he owns Cooper Town and is there after many of the sporting events downtown so that is cool. Plus he is always golfing so my husband runs into him on a course every once in a while.

You should just pack up and move to Arizona so you can date his daughter!

Ghosted by Cricekt @ 08/14/2007 4:20 PM EDT


Nice…can’t even spell my own name.

Ghosted by Cricket @ 08/14/2007 4:21 PM EDT


Wait.. Bludge is right, I think. If that guy is doing karate then odds are he’s wearing a “Gi” which are obviously held closed by a belt.

Knowing that, can we still pretend it’s something else? For the sake of the 14 year old in all of us, of course.

Ghosted by fistpittingnork @ 08/14/2007 4:26 PM EDT


Cricket, or shall I call you Cricekt? :p

Anyway, that’s awesome! You know I’ve known people who have met him and they all say he is an extremely nice, down to earth guy. I bet it’d be great to roam the greens BS’ing the day away with him, and I’m not even a golfer!

Yes, well, you’ve got a good idea. I’ll need your help getting it done, but I’m sure you’re up for the challenge. Slide her my phone number and tell her I’m the dorky kid who caused a scene (she was watching out of the 2nd/3rd story window) with the security guards outside their bus last September after the Tulsa show. Thanks.

Ghosted by fistpittingnork @ 08/14/2007 4:33 PM EDT


Hmmm… anyone know of any websites where we can find info on these little Weirdball dudes?

Ghosted by DocDragon @ 08/14/2007 4:57 PM EDT


Trix are back in motherfucking ball form!

Ghosted by John Yingling @ 08/14/2007 6:07 PM EDT


DocDragon: Doesn’t seem to be a heck of a lot about them online, for whatever reason.

Ghosted by Matt @ 08/14/2007 10:19 PM EDT


Wayne Campbell: So, do you come to Milwaukee often?

Alice Cooper: Well, I’m a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers began visiting here in the late 16th century.

Pete: Hey, isn’t “Milwaukee” an Indian name?

Alice Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. In fact , it’s pronounced “mill-e-wah-que” which is Algonquin for “the good land.”

Wayne Campbell: I was not aware of that.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 08/14/2007 10:20 PM EDT


Muppet Baby- the “I was not aware of that” may be the greatest line of that movie.

Ghosted by kb @ 08/14/2007 10:24 PM EDT


It was 104 degrees here in Birmingham, AL today, tying the record for consecutive days with triple digit heat since 1980.

. . . In other words, time for some Christmas jukebox!!

Ghosted by Julie @ 08/14/2007 10:24 PM EDT


I don’t care if it makes me out for the 13yr old I really am (at heart), the greatest line is Cream of Sumyungguy.

Ghosted by Knegative @ 08/14/2007 10:38 PM EDT


A gun rack… a gun rack. I don’t even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do…. with a gun rack?

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 08/14/2007 10:56 PM EDT


*Headbangs to Bohemian Rhapsody at his computer*

Ghosted by Bludge @ 08/14/2007 11:06 PM EDT


OK, might have to take that back. How can one choose a favorite?

Ghosted by kb @ 08/14/2007 11:12 PM EDT


That movie encapsulates the 1990s. I love it.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 08/14/2007 11:27 PM EDT


Ok, I know im late to the game on this, but when I was little, I had a crapload of Muscle toys. But recently I started finding them in my old boxes and stuff, Like I found a guy that is made out of the nine planets in our solar system and stuff like that. But here is the thing, They are a multitude of different colors. The planet guy is purple and I have some that are Red and Green. I seem to recall that Muscles were only in that fleshy pink color. So are the ones I have an official toy? or are the knockoffs?

Ghosted by Jester @ 08/14/2007 11:59 PM EDT


Also, because I know people LOVE double posters (Im very sorry). I found out that they are casting for Jurassic Park 4 now. The plot is about the government who has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes.

This can either be extremely bad…….Or extremely awesome, if you close your eyes and pretend your watching a Dino Riders movie or something.

Ghosted by Jester @ 08/15/2007 12:02 AM EDT


Those are way cool. I wish someone would produce a new line of small rubber action figures (other than digimon or yu-gi-oh, I don’t like the look of the figures for some reason). Something funny and or weird, maybe in partnership with Topps.

Though with my luck, they wouldn’t be available here in New Mexico, life the damn Hollywood Zombies trading cards. Yes, I know I can probably get them online, but just once in a fucking while I would like to just walk into a goddamn store, give someone some money, and walk out with an actual physical product!!!

Hmmm. Obviously this is a deep seated issue for me. Maybe I’m the only one experiencing the phenomena of the game/book/DVD/toy etc. I want never being among the top 5 products in a given category that are all stores carry now thanks to electronic inventory control and ordering. Time to go think calming thoughts…

Ghosted by Braindumper @ 08/15/2007 12:03 AM EDT


I agree, Braindumper. I have dreams where I am in a store that has everything in stock. Quite the fantasy.

Ghosted by Knegative @ 08/15/2007 12:17 AM EDT


Jester, those multi-color M.U.S.C.L.E. figures are legit! I had a ton of them, and they all fought with each other (and the flesh-colored ones) in the official wrestling ring all the time.

PS I don’t want dinosaurs carrying weapons.

Ghosted by Bludge @ 08/15/2007 12:29 AM EDT


I dunno- if the try to make a ’straight’ Jurassic Park movie, I don’t think it will be a huge draw…but if they go insanely over the top with it, then they might be on to something.

Ghosted by Muppet Baby @ 08/15/2007 12:52 AM EDT


If it’s over-the-top as in a full-on Broadway musical complete with costumes and chorus lines, I may have to watch it… in a train wreck sort of way.

Ghosted by Bludge @ 08/15/2007 1:20 AM EDT


Havent posted a comment in a while so i figured I would drop one. I found an action figure in my basement that looks like voltron… only he is really tall and has 6 arms. I have no clue who or what it is. Any ideas?

Ghosted by Old E @ 08/15/2007 6:03 AM EDT


Although Wayne’s World is my favorite of the two WWs, I do think the best line out of either would have to be:

Bjergen Kjergen: “I am sorry to hear of your illness, but since you’ve sacrificed your health for knowledge of my country, I find you very attractive and I hope to make love to you in the near future.”

Wayne: “Shwjergen!… OK… All right… Dick Van Dyke Show.”

Or something similar, I may be off on a word or two, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen it, oh well..

Ghosted by fistpittingnork @ 08/15/2007 9:12 AM EDT


Sorry for doubles here, but FYI, this Halo 3 Mountain Dew sucks in my opinion. Tastes like Code Red and Live Wire mixed into 1 can, both of which I really don’t care for. Baja Blast is the only off-standard Dew I really like.

Ghosted by fistpittingnork @ 08/15/2007 9:14 AM EDT


Hmmm. No “Best Deal” story from Matt yet in the other thread. To the computer, Matt! :)

No seriously, I wanna read it. I bet its awesome.

Ghosted by Terror Claws Cole @ 08/15/2007 9:21 AM EDT


Matt – I’m with Terror Claws, chief. I want to hear your story. And I want to make sure you have read how I’ve got 144 packs of Ghoul-Aid Scary Blackberry sitting in my bedroom right now. And I also want to let you know that I just got my shipment of an additional 72 packs, bringing my grand total to 216 deliciously blackberryish packets of Kool-Aid Halloween goodness. And I want to know how many times I have to mention this before you hunt me down and murder me.

Ghosted by Chris @ 08/15/2007 12:09 PM EDT


I know this is off-topic, but I thought I’d mention this: there is a Kool-Aid museum in Hastings, Nebraska, kind of like the World of Coca-Cola in Atlanta. I mention this because Matt has done so many classic Kool-Aid flavor reviews. The link on my name goes to RoadsideAmerica.com’s review of the museum.

Ghosted by Old Jim @ 08/15/2007 12:12 PM EDT


Now, let me strain my meager brain here….
Dairugger XV was vehicle Voltron (of the Near Universe).
Beast King Go-Lion was Lion Voltron (of the Far Universe).
And that makes the six armed one the rare Gladiator Voltron (of the Middle Universe), aka Electric God Albegas, the only show that didn’t have a translation by World Events, but had it’s toys at least brought over.

Ghosted by kingklash the non-mechanical @ 08/15/2007 12:22 PM EDT


Fave WW line: “Excuse me… I’d like to get by now…” Or the whole scene where Garth smashes that robotic hand thingy.

Ghosted by Murderface @ 08/15/2007 12:58 PM EDT


Oklahomans (or those that may have passed through: Has anyone been to “Pops” yet on Route 66 in Arcadia, OK? 400+ different sodas (over 50 types of cream soda, 43 different root beers).

I’m dying to check it out, but I’ve heard the wait is insane, which is to be expected considering it’s so new they’re yet to even have their official grand opening.

I linked their website in my name, just give ‘er a click.

Ghosted by fistpittingnork @ 08/15/2007 12:58 PM EDT


Wayne: “Shwjergen!… OK… All right… Dick Van Dyke Show.”

Thank you! That’s my favorite line of the second movie too! I went to see it in the theater and I think I was the only one who laughed at that line. I have way too many moments like that.

I went to the Pops website. That place looks really neat. I want to plan a trip just to go there, even though it’s a long way to OK from VA just for some soda.

Ghosted by Lori @ 08/15/2007 1:36 PM EDT


I was going to conclude my Amazon piece with the info that it does indeed use cookies from your browser, but it is much more important to agree with Kingklash that what you are referring to is in most likelihood Gladiator Voltron.

I only had the Red dude. But I have Vehicle Voltron and multiple versions of Lion Force, of course :D

Clicky my name for the Russel Crowe of the team.

Ghosted by Knegative @ 08/15/2007 1:38 PM EDT


I want to go to Pops just because they have a soda there called “Cricket”. It comes in a diet version as well but since I don’t do diets or diet versions I will just ignore that one. Wonder what flavor they modeled after me? Predictions?

Ghosted by Cricket @ 08/15/2007 1:48 PM EDT


Double…apologies…

Just found out I am some Hippie drink. It is a blend of green tea and kola nut. Apparently it is going to cure the world. DAMN IT! I guess I am going to have to rethink my end of days party and start working on a rebirth of healthy man party instead. Anyone wanna come?

Hey Barkeep! A round of Soy Beer for my X-E pals…

Ghosted by Cricket @ 08/15/2007 1:57 PM EDT


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