You have never heard of Weird Ball figures and thus you do not care.

Sort of like less refined and more obscure Garbage Pail Kids, the Mel Apple company’s Weird Ball series consisted of glossy, wacky trading cards with a definitive gross slant. Whereas GPK cards were mostly a free-for-all, Weird Ball seemed to fashion itself as some kind of parody sports set, with the nutty characters all being based on different kinds of athletes. Course, they took a few liberties. You were just as likely to find ninjas and bloody army dudes as baseball players.

I thought the line to be an immense failure at least in terms of sales, but it must’ve done okay considering the fact that there were a couple of different toys spun from the card series. In fact, if you look beyond the larger and now prohibitively pricey Weird Ball action figures, you’ll find another set of playthings that could’ve given our old pink pals from M.U.S.C.L.E. a run for their money.


If the cards were an attempt to cash in on GPK’s success, Weird Ball Mini Collectums were most definitely a vie to swipe some of the tiny toy pie from the M.U.S.C.L.E. collection, which debuted just a year earlier than these in 1985.

Even the package jokes about the figures’ poor quality, but while they indeed fall short of M.U.S.C.L.E. in terms of the materials used, but I’m not so sure that they lack heart. Considering that you got twelve of these dudes for about the price of four M.U.S.C.L.E. figures, it wasn’t such a bum deal at all.


I feel almost guilty saying this, and maybe it’s just because the things are so fresh and new to me, but these Weird Ball figures seem almost as good as M.U.S.C.L.E. figures. Aside from the insane level of detail, they’re just great characters. Everything from some kind of zombie sheriff to another guy who looks like a Madball with legs is represented, and I’m now totally convinced that I need to spend the evening carving them a miniature dollhouse out of soap and coconut shells.

When I think back, I have really vague recollections of other M.U.S.C.L.E. knockoff lines. We’d usually find them at pharmacies or lower end toy stores, and even if they weren’t official, I loved ‘em to death. Think I would’ve loved these to death, too. There’s just something about action figures small enough to pocket in your cheek like a hamster on a grape.

147 thoughts on “You have never heard of Weird Ball figures and thus you do not care.

  1. fistpittingnork

    Cricket the candy pusher is really pushing her hippy candy.

    I’m sure you already had plans of doing so, but you’ll definitely have to report back on your soda experience.

    Bill glad you enjoyed, just with 97 pictures I didn’t feel like digging through them all and writing a blog about it.

    Jedoc Oh there’s plenty of other places in Norman to clog your arteries, so keep that chin up!

  2. Cricket

    These soda peeps need to send me money for free advertising as well as for stealing my name!

    While I am on the topic of peeps…we are again missing Mystie so I am holding out hope for that elusive Darth Vader make over. I am picturing him in a loverly shade of mint green or perhaps a baby blue with some pink pokey dots.

    Matt where is your good/great/bestest deal ever story?

  3. fistpittingnork

    The best deal I’ve witnessed from Matt that I would personally love to run into, was scoring that sweet strawberry milk syrup bank, complete with a ribbon!

    He made out like a bandit that day. Sure, I could buy one online for $15 or so, but that makes for an extremely boring story.

  4. Knegative

    We’ve discussed repeatedly how I called that Syrup bank during a “What do you want from X-E” survey, Nork :twisted: :P

    Did anybody link Hello Kitty Vader for Cricket, yet?

  5. Bill

    Wow, I just drank a Orange Crush soda from 2001. It tasted a little metallic, so that’s when i looked at the expiration date. I wonder what kind of trip I am going to on later today?
    I take comfort in knowing that Matt has probably drank much older sodas.

  6. fistpittingnork

    “We’ve discussed repeatedly how I called that Syrup bank during a “What do you want from X-E” survey, Nork”

    Damn! He remembered.

  7. fistpittingnork

    Ok, so I just got another classic Air Force email here at work. I wish you guys could see some of this crap that’s sent out.

    Long story short, I work on a military base, I’m not in the military, but still I hear all these military terms and slogans every day.

    A few minutes ago I get an email sent out to the base’s entire IT distrobution list titled “OPSEC Cookie Book”, OPSEC being Operation Security.

    Anywho, this thing is an Adobe PDF file that’s 20 pages long and flip flops in between real cookie recipes and typical OPSEC this and thats, already it’s an odd combo. The awesome part about this cookie cook book is the names of some of the recipes.

    Ready?:

    SRS “Secret Reese’s Surprise”, somewhat clever name, and the last instruction ends with “Remove cups to cooling rack. Know your vacation when talkin’ ’bout your vacation”. Ok.

    Next fantastic recipe name:

    “Air Force Audit’s 100% Compliant Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies”. That one’s a little out there, but of course to complete this weird relationship between military policies and grandma’s recipes is “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance”… Fantastically noted.

    “Safety’s Sensation Shimmering Shortbread Sandies (Superb)” which is obviously played off this stupid safety slogan or some crap referred to as “5 S+1″, I don’t know.

    Getting a little forceful, the booklet ends with “Keep it Quiet Oatmeal Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chip Cookies”. Seriously?

    Very last sentence in this entire booklet: “Good passwords help protect our mission’s critical information”. Remember that, folks.

    Sorry to swing out of the middle of nowhere with that, but seriously, if you guys could only see this… It’s “narrated” by a purple dragon named “SABER”. I really don’t understand where purple dragons come into sweet treat recipes or the air force, but whose to argue a dragon whose mission is “to include some delicious cookie recipes and add some OPSEC tips to ensure you have a recipe for a successful Air Force mission”?

    I, for one, will not.

  8. fistpittingnork

    Correction: “Know your location when talkin’ ’bout your vacation”. We’re forced to believe we’re all terrorist targets (seriously) and always told to not discuss where we’re traveling on vacation in front of anybody. Which will explain that quoted safety tip.

  9. Cricket

    King & Kneg – Thanks for the Vader fun!

    Nork – Any chance on getting a copy of those recipes? I am an avid baker and I have several family members in or retired from the AF so I can appreciate the sentiments. Let me know if you can send them over and I will give you my email.

    I know not of this Syrup bank but now am intrigued. I wonder if it holds up in comparison to my Heinz Ketchup Bottle phone?

  10. fistpittingnork

    Cricket, yes, I can send the PDF to you. Just let me know where to send it.

    I’m leaving work here in just a minute or two, I’ll look for the article with the syrup bottle in it and if nobody has found it by the time I get home and find it, I’ll link ya to it.

  11. Joker

    Off topic, but
    I just received my “Slusho” t-shirt in the mail. For the ill-informed, “Slusho” is part of the 1-18-08 Cloverfield mystery movie that Matt was talking about a few weeks ago.
    I found out that there are some MySpace pages that are in on it.
    If you are interested- Find JJ Abrams mypace page, (I found it by finding the Slusho Myspace page first) then follow the links in his blog.
    Just adding a little fuel to the fire…

  12. Cricket

    WOW…who would have suspected that Matt would photograph that many penis related items in one trip!??! That bank is pretty sweet though. I just saw a Frankenberry Bobble Head Bank when I did a search for bottle banks but my stupid work won’t let me look at the site because it might contain “entertainment”! I will have to check it out when I get home.

    Nork you can check my name for the addy to send me the Super Secret Recipe File from Uncle Sam. I am sure you can figure it out, if not let me know. Thanks!

  13. flabslapper

    since we are on the subject of older toys, does anyone remember the name of the toy that was a ball that would shake around violently? it looked like the Katamari ball?

  14. Jedoc

    Never actually played Katamari Damacy, flabslapper, but are you talking about the Bumble Ball? It’s got colored knobs on and is specially engineered to drive cats completely gonzo insane.

  15. Knegative

    I got to see about half of Pokemon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea, tonight. Too good for words. May and Manaphy (I can’t do hearts with less than symbols and 3s, what’s this shit? There is supposed to be 3 here). I know she releases it at the end, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to die when I finally get to see it :cry:

  16. Magic Toy

    flabslapper: … Jedoc is absolutely correct. It was called a Bumble Ball. I remember my dog at the time (a very friendly Rottweiler) loved playing with that silly thing. Of course by “play with it” I mean he broke it in about fifteen minutes, but it was soooo worth it.

    It was best to put it inside a paper sack and watch the bag vibrate around the floor and see the dog freak out trying to figure out just what the hell was inside.

    Good times.

    I miss that dog.

  17. flabslapper

    cool! thanks everyone! I was watching something with just the Katamari ball rolling around (it was taken out and put into a movie) and my sister said, I remember that thing! But we couldn’t figure out what it was called. Squiggle Ball? Shakey Ball? Whacky Ball? Wiggle Ball? I couldn’t find anything about it!

    Then I was like, “If anyone will know, its X-E”

    THANK YOU!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>