X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

08/06/2007: The #2 Bestseller.

I haven’t posted for about 50 hours or so, and while I’d like to tell you that I’ve returned with tales of some great adventure, I’m actually just here to scribble about this one book that has illustrations of someone taking a shit on nearly every page.

Stephen Biesty’s 1992 book, Incredible Cross-Sections delivers as promised. It’s an incredible book with incredible cross-sections. I’ve had it forever and a day, and I never grow tired of having a visual guide to supplement whatever my head conjures up as the day-to-day workings of medieval castles, oil rigs and opera houses.

You’ve probably flipped through the pages of one Cross-Sections book or another. It’s a pretty large series, which more recently expanded into fiction territory with books that show you the floorplan of Jabba’s palace. Those are fun, but the non-fiction volumes are absolutely and painstakingly great.

Basically, the authors and illustrators pick a place or a vehicle or some other thing, and show you everything that goes on/went on inside of them. While you’d assume that seeing things like engines and electronic wiring in detail could get boring, they kind of gloss over that stuff and put a bigger focus on how actual people interacted within the target. The pages above, covering a Spanish galleon, only give a basic overview of the sailing gear and hull construction, but waste no resource in telling the world about the giant rats onboard, and about how seafarers used to employ lemons to thwart seasickness, and how they used to call their boat toilets “jardines.” Which brings me to my next point.

The best Cross-Sections books are the ones that aren’t afraid to get a little dirty. This one definitely wasn’t. From steam trains to subway stations, every illustration manages to cram in at least one colored pencil sketch of someone relieving themselves.

As cool as the book is, I have to admit that it’s tough to avoid turning it into a scatological version of Where’s Waldo? In some cases, the defecator is easy to spot. But they’ve got giant layouts of subway stations and entire skyscraper floors in there too, and I find myself skipping past all the good stuff to see if I can’t find John or Jane Doe crapping their way into immortality somewhere in the spreads.

Sometimes, it seems a little gratuitous. Best example: I don’t think I needed to see that guy reaching for more toilet paper from deep within the bowels of a fishing trawler. Still, there seems to be some merit in showing-someone-shitting in some of the other chapters. Like, it’s interesting to see how astronauts do their business, and it’s especially interesting to learn that “cesspool” had a real meaning before it become a cliched everyword:

See, in medieval castles, there were two ways to shit. Option #1 would drop the dung down a chute and right out of the castle, where it’d smear its way down the walls and, hopefully, into the moat. (Contrary to popular depictions, moats were fucking disgusting. That guy in The Far Side comic would’ve never seen a goldfish in one.) Option #2 carried the crap to a pit at the bottom of the castle. This pit was called a “cesspool,” and people were charged with shoveling ‘em out regularly.

Didn’t think I’d be writing about shit tonight. Not literally, at least. I’m a little concerned by what sort of comments such a topic might inspire, but I guess, when one pays tribute to shit, he can’t really worry about such things.

Never heard of this series, but I have a decades old Disney series called, “How it Works” than shows things like this. How it works, it the country, in the home etc. They show diagrams of what in the innards of a percolator and such look like. Like I said it’s a really old book.

Oh my Lord,you just helped me figure out what to get my hubs for his birthday! He loves crap like this. Anything to prevent him from talking to me is good.lol

Oh wow, I remember being absorbed in this book for HOURS in elementary school. Thanks for the awesome memory, Matt!

The Star Wars ones drive me crazy because I sat there thinking how much they just BSed on their own just sitting there and making money making up whatever is inside Luke’s X-wing.

Wow, do they have a 747 cross section? And if they do, are there people in the lavatory? I have a memory of that but it may be from Richard Scarey’s Big Book of Hats.
Don’t ask.

I started reading this book in elementary school, and was still reading it well up until my final weeks of high school. I don’t find many books so interesting as that

Hello everyone, glad to see a new post. I was looking over old Halloween articles while waiting for an update. I think I’m ready for autumn now, even though it’s only early August. Summer just isn’t what it used to be, although the megaparty makes it a lot more fun.

oh wow, i still have this book and i have been out of high school for a few years now. i also have the one that you are highlighting with the castle and the ship. this book was so amazing because you really get to see how everyone works together as opposed to lets spy on this dude taking a crap in this room while people in the other room are cooking. they were such a learning experience and i’m glad this was the article because I haven’t thought about it in a long time.

man… now when I call my place of employment a cesspool of horrible ignorance… all I will be able to think about is that picture of the guy shoveling shit…..

Thanks for reminding me about this,I loved this book and it’s exposed shitters.

Scatological Whereâ€™s Waldo? sounds like a total moneymaker to me â€“ Spencerâ€™s Gifts would be all about that, well, shit.

Man those books were badass. I also dug those like “all about” Knights, Dinosaurs, etc. books. Can’t remember the actual names of them, but they just all had lots of sweet pictures of whatever the book was over and little facts next to them, haphazardly strewn across the pages. It was kinda like a museum mixed with a historical art gallery, in a kid’s book. Cool stuff.

I can see what you mean; the first time I spotted some guy taking a dump in a big illustration, I’d have to check for more. Just be glad they don’t get more graphic, or the captain would be sodomizing the cabin boy on that galleon.

Wow what a shittastic blog entry! 50 hours of nothing, and then you take a dump on our hands? Wow Matt’s got some poo-encrusted balls to pull a stunt like this…

Yeah, I got a kick out of these books too. I think they were actually British-you can kinda tell by the stiff-upper-lippy looks on people’s faces doing their thing. Yet apparently the British seem to be a bit more open about this stuff. I think they wanted to reach out to kids who, until then, always wondered why the Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew never had to use the loo. (Once again I’m a poet and don’t know it. That line even scanned properly!)

Now that I think about it, a lot of the “how things work” books my parents got for my brother and me were British. I remember wondering why they spelled, say, “tire” as “tyre” or “rally” as “rallye” (yes, that’s really how they spell those). A bit more subtly, I think a lot of the cars and trucks were more rounder and European-looking. We also had a lot of Richard Scarry, and you probably remember that most of his drawings had a kind of German look about them, right down to the characters all dressing in lederhosen, dirndls, and even one guy in World War I German Army getup complete with a spiked helmet (really!). I later learned the guy actually ended up living most of his life in Switzerland.

Matt, you mentioned that a steam train was cross-sectioned in one of these books full of defecation. I can only wonder if these books are the origin of the “Cleveland Steamer”.

The guy on the front page and also he is the one on the bottom right of the 6 picture grid, looks like Matt. I actually thought for a second Matt was showing off his cut in the book, a friend having an inside joke with him and putting him in the book.

This reminds me of a story that I was thinking about the other day. I was in 5th grade, and for reading time the teacher had books (or when you were done with your work) balanced against the chalkboard on the little metal place you put erasers. Well there was a book with old artwork in it and there was one where they were on a ship and some people were naked. This was the only painting in the book like that. 5th grade.

Anyway I showed another classmate and she thought it was so funny she showed another etc. I told her not to but she insisted well the teacher wanted to know why all the girls were giggling. Of course when she asked who started the chain everyone said me and I was so embarrassed.

She chewed my ass out saying she was surprised I should be more mature (still in elementary school) how inappropriate that was and if she saw me looking at that book again then I was getting into big trouble I think she threatened to send me to the principal if she caught me again. I felt so bad and I never picked a book from the front of the class again.

This is not the sorta thing to see when you’re intending to chow down on a pizza… Still awesome though. Thanks Matt!

I don’t think I ever looked at any of these books, but they do sound really interesting.

This kind of reminds me of the Waldo book that featured a beach scene with most of a woman’s breasts exposed. Very unexpected when you’re scanning for a striped-shirt guy and find tits.

I love those books, especially the over-the-top Star Wars ones. The vehicles and places in the prequels seem to be far more sophisticated than the original trilogy, despite taking place well before the original 3 movies.

Speaking of “Where’s Waldo”, a couple of my coworkers are filmmakers and their first big project is a Where’s Waldo Mockumentary about how no one is interested in finding Waldo anymore so now he’s a bum on the streets peddling his cane to shady trenchcoatmen.

..I was actually about to send an X-E Summer Megaparty link to this girl I know…then I noticed that this would be the lead-off entry.

Wow!! In one of my history classes in middle school we watched an animated version of the medieval castle thing, or at least something really similar, and they actually had an animation of the guy crapping and falling into the cesspool. They also had another one about hot oil being poured on invaders… Not sure if this is the same movie, but there was another one with druids and a hot princess joining the cult against her father’s… wait, that was about Romans in England, and I saw that movie in Latin. My bad.

I either recall this book, or a book very similar to it. The one I remember reading in elementary had a series of transparent pages, each consisting of one section of a structure. When you put all the layers together, you’d get the cross-section of the entire place/vehicle. Then again, nobody was shown on the porcelain throne in the book, so it’s probably something completely different.

Hmmm… I’ve never seen these books before, which is a shame because I love stuff like that. The kind of book where you don’t really need to read anything and can just happily stare at the same picture for an hour. Like those Sergio Argenes cartoons in MAD magazine. I wish I’d had this book when I was younger. Wondering what’s going through people’s minds as they carry on their tiny activities.
Still, you’re right about the poo thing. Seeing tiny people’s butts going poo made me laugh.

Holy hell, Matt, I think I may have finally thought of something you haven’t covered for this site. If am wrong I will feel the appropriate level of shame for having doubted you. If I am right, and you actually do have interest in the subject (implying that you even feel it worthy of coverage), I will also feel the appropriate level of guilt for having acted like it is even possible to have gotten to every subject yet, therefore some have to be saved for future site updates.

Does anyone else remember the 1985 movie Gotcha! (starring Anthony Edwards) and the accompanying line of kid-proofed paintball guns?

I remember watching the movie quite a few times during the ’80s and loved it. I don’t really recall why as I haven’t seen it in ages. I actually DVR’d it a day or two ago and am going to watch it with my lady. What can I say? She loves ER so the Edwards connection might get her to watch one of my beloved ’80s gems.

The best part about the movie though are the toy paintball guns that were manufactured a year or two later. I can remember talking to my older brother (seven years my elder), in what must have been about 1987. We both agreed that we were going to save our money until we had enough to buy our paintball guns. I, of course, wanted one of the Gotcha! models. He was going to buy a more adult model. It was a Splatmaster and it was a pistol that adults would actually use to play wargame-type, err, games. We thought we would be able to go out and shoot at each other and it would be great fun.

Only now do I realize that my brother would have been shooting at me with a CO2 powered gun while I would have had a toy. That would have been a bit one-sided. I was a stupid kid I suppose.

Anyway, here is a link to a site that mentions Gotcha! guns and includes a few pictures.

Am I the only one that remembers these things? Somehow, on this website, I doubt that quite a bit.

Oh yeah, I never saved enough money to buy my gun. I did however have a gigantic bruise on my right thigh when my brother shot me with his a few months later.

Holy cow, Magic Toy, I haven’t thought about Gotcha! in ages! My grandma and I used to watch it a lot when I was a little kid. I liked it a lot more than that Scott Baio movie that was kinda the same idea–kid gets super something or other from drinking a magic potion or whatever. Well, that was vague. Guess I don’t remember it as well as I thought. But, still, the association is a good one for me. Thanks!

In using the search feature, and reviewing older articles, for any mention of Gotcha! I stumbled across something that I hadn’t thought about in quite some time.

Matt mentions a practical joke powder that when mixed with liquid instantly causes the liquid to turn into a gelatin like substance. Of course this means you can have an apparently empty glass (w/ hidden powder in bottom), pour in a few ounces of water, and then attempt to toss the “liquid” in the face of your unsuspecting victim. Yes, yes, the joke is it has formed into a gelatin consistency that won’t be budged from the glass, but THEY didn’t know that was coming. Hilarity ensues.

I bought some of this stuff in 1993 at some joke-type shop in the Mall of America in MN. Does anyone remember what it was? Or what the actual powder consisted of so I can find it again? It was packaged in what resembled a pill bottle you would get from the pharmacy. It had a small plastic spoon inside for dishing out the needed amount of powder based on how many ounces of liquid you were using to humiliate a family member.

I have a five-year-old nephew and ten-year-old niece who would kill for this stuff, they just don’t know it yet.

Hey, I remember that book! i saw it at somebody’s house i visited one time. and yeah i couldn’t help but notice that on every page there was some dude taking a dump!

Loved the entry, but the ice cream cone next to the left of the comments has never seemed so suggestive.

This AND finding a copy of Howard the Duck? You’ve just made my night complete, Matt.

I had a book like that about dinosaurs, it showed the inerds of different species and layered different systems like skeletal, muscle, etc…

…however it didn’t show anyone relieving themselves inside the beasts, that would have been awkward..

I remember that movie that showed the guy crapping. I remember the narrator talking about how unpleasant it could be on a cold winter’s night sitting on the stone while pinching one off (my words, not his).

You know, in the most heterosexual way possible, I thought about you this weekend. I was laying in bed, realizing how lonely I am when… Ok, I kid.

For real though, I spent 3 days in Missouri for my best friend’s wedding and on the way home yesterday we stopped at this incredible truck stop. The gift shop was packed full of southern pride clothing, gigantic (3 gallon) Harley Davidson coffee mugs, and the most kick ass “grow-your-own” animals I have ever seen; yard ornament pink flamingos! I really thought about buying a couple, if not for myself, then at least 1 to mail to you.

My sister used to love these books…I guess she and I have a whole new reason to dig them out again.

Gotcha Guns… haha wanted one SOOO bad but the parents wouldn’t let me get one… I got a “glopper” gun instead, that shot little balls of something that was a cross between dried rubber cement and snot. Which in itself was pretty fun.

And oh yeah I totally had this book and could sit there for hours looking at all the fine detail in the pictures. Kinda like trying to find the little yellow ladybug in the richard scary books. (it was a little yellow ladybug wasnt it?)

Magic Toy — I remember the toys better than the movie. My father, in his infinite wisdom, got my brother and I a set of the Uzi-looking ones when I was in fourth grade or so. They were fun as hell, but they broke so freakin’ easily and my mother refused to buy us the replacement cartidges so we used them sparingly at best. Apparently, my “Commando” broke so easily, no one has a picture of it on the web. Crazy.

That’s why I’ve always loved the Medieval castle-y type stuff; they try so hard.

That reminds me: I went with the hubby and some friends to Medieval Times last weekend, and it was awesome. We even got to cheer for the green guy. The best part was when the falconer came out to make her bird fly around over everyone while they were eating chicken. The falcon flew around once, then promptly perched up in the rafters. It took several minutes for the poor girl to coax him down again, to the delight of the sarcastic announcer. I really don’t blame the falcon; it’s probably just as entertaining for him as it was for the rest of us.

Cameron T: I just got my copy of Short Circuit 2 back from my buddy and indeed, it does have Subtitles. However, that is as far as it goes as far as Special Features. There’s not even a theatrical trailer. I would have love to have heard a commentary by director Kenneth Johnson, who is the creator of the old Incredible Hulk TV Series. He’s a great commentator and he did a superb job doing commentary on two Incredible Hulk episodes for the DVD set, including the pilot. Just thought you’d like to know that!

I never had Gotcha guns but I sure as hell had alot of Intertech water guns. You know, the battery operated water guns that were automatic? For some reason I always choose the Rambo PRG to play with. Sure it looked impressive but it was like taking a log to a knife fight. What a hassle. Then came super soakers.

Totally off-topic, but does anyone have any suggestions on where I can find info on the Verizon LG enV? I got one on Friday but little things are driving me nuts, like the fact that if it’s on silent, I can’t see if I’ve missed a call or text without unlocking the keypad.

Is there like a fabulous, geeky tech forum that anyone frequents? Or does anyone have one who can fill me in on such info? I’ve tried the user guide but yeah, it sucks. Surprise surprise.

Luap,
Poopsmith was the first thing I thought of when I saw the pics. Anybody else here fans of Homestarrunner?

Hey Matt! At the big Texaco/Shell convienience store here, there is a grow-in-water snake that’s about two foot long! Before it’s put in water! That’s gonna be freakin’ huuuuuge!

I had a paintball gun ages ago that I bought off some guy I used to work with for $10 bucks. I took it to a paintball shop to get cleaned and it turned out to be a special edition Auto-Cocker that was worth some money. The guy at the shop tried to buy it off me for like $1000 but I stupidly refused and got it worked on instead. I had a hair-trigger installed and a bunch of other crap and then the man and I went out with a bunch of friends/family and had all out Jihad type war games on each other. Know what…that shit HURTS when you get hit in the tit. I had a vest but you just can’t do the all out tuck and roll dives with it on so I never wore it. Needless to say I stopped playing after the tit shot because black and blue boobs are not nearly as cool as they sound. My pain however was not nearly as bad as the Uncle who took one in the shorts (I did not ask about his bruising) and had to sit in a tub of ice for his swelling. The cousin who dove into a cactus and had to sit still while we laughed and took cactus out of his arms and thighs. And the friend who took one to the lip and looked like he was growing another head via his mouth for a week. That was all worth passing on the money the guy offered me. Nothing can help ease your pain like watching the pain of others!

HEY…for those of you who like fun kid stuff for adults you should check out http://www.perpetualkid.com/ I love this site.

FyarlGirl - I think the movie you mentioned with Scott Baio is Zapped. He gets zapped in a lab or something and gets powers. I could be wrong though.

Sorry for the double post but I had to answer the above question posed by Thorzul -

I too am a BIG FAN of Homestarrunner. I often find myself saying things like “I got miles and miles of the email styles” and getting strange looks from the people around me.

I don’t know if you have any other books from the series, but two of them were limited to specific areas of cross-sectioning. One was titled “Man-of-War” which focused on an 18th century British warship and “Castle” focused on, well, a castle. An interesting thing about these two books was the fact that there was an actual Where’s Waldo on each page.
On each page of “Man-of-War” you could find a stowaway who got aboard and sort of follow his journey from page to page, and in the “Castle” book, you could find a thief on each page.
I don’t remember how the stowaway’s journey ended, but I seem to remember the thief making his way away from the castle on a horse.

Just something interesting I thought of reading the entry (I also remember very much all the people taking a crap on every freakin’ page)

The stuff that you are talking about is Slush powder. I found a type called Lightning Gel. I’d link it but my HTML skills suck at best.

Oh, and I’m sorry to say that magic shop in the Mall of America no longer is there. Sells futons or some crap like that now.

As a carry over from last topic, I think it would be awesome if they did a Fort Max of this book. Think we’d see the Autbots on the crapper?

I bet the Decepticons just fill up Astrotrai nwith their waste products and have him dump (HA HA!! GEt IT?!??!) ove some Earth cities.

Ttreb, thanks for the suggestion! That forum seems to be just what I was looking for!

Anonymous @ 2:56 EDT - Thanks for your help. I believe that the stuff I had was indeed called Lightning Gel. I’ll do some digging around to see if I can find some.

Sorry to hear about the Magic Shop closing down in the Mall of America. I also remember they had a store that sold dozens and dozens of holograms. These weren’t your typical small holograms, like the size of a sticker. No, these were big, big enough to nearly fill an 8″ x 10″ frame. I remember I bought two of them.

The first was a from the movie Dracula that had come out the year before. Depending on how you titled it the picture would change between Dracula’s different forms from the movie. The second, which happened to be my favorite, was a picture of a house with a 3-D holographic telescope pointing at it. If you actually attempted to look through the telescope you could “peek” into a window of the house and see a young lady undressing. At the time I thought it was one of the coolest things I had ever seen. I’m still quite sure how it worked.

I’ve never understood the Wheelie hate. He’s pink and sassy. What more could you possibly want?

Cricket: Gracias. I’ve had some luck finding it at a few online stores. The prices seem to range from $4-$8/bottle. Before I order one I may check a magic store near where I used to live to try to avoid shipping costs. At least I now know the name of what I am looking for.

I loved that book! In primary school, myself and some of my closest chums would often gather in the lounge area of the library and play “spot the chap crimping one off”.
Magic.
Sim

I’m with Whitney, this is going at the top of my list of books to buy for my classroom library.

I concur. We need a Diamond update. Also, I’ve decided that I don’t need a Torchic or Caterpie. I want a Houndoom. I.e., let me know what you want Norbert so I can go about getting it for you

That’s kind of disturbing but I think I would like to see how castles operated. When I read historical fiction they describe boats and places that I know very little about. Besides the shit factor this seems like an interesting book!

I am just wondering if anyone has wandered over to Mystie’s site to view her Skeletor makeover? I know it is not the newest post but it is by far one of the funniest. I would spend money if the big companies would offer me repaints of figures like this one.

Matt, why haven’t you done a repaint? Or have you and I have somehow missed it? Gahhh…I can’t wait for Christmas I am in serious need of an advent calendar update. What do you suppose they do for the rest of the year? Do they go on vacations to like Disneyland or Disney World? Do they hang out at bars and night clubs? Inquiring minds, like mine, want to know. Plus that butt muncher Tiger Boy still stays private and we have no updates from Knacks so I am starting to twitch. ….enough…. I need some help!

Ah, Cricket, thank you very much. That has been bugging me all day, Zapped. But I didn’t want to look up Scott Baio on Imdb. I would be haunted by the dreams.

Thanks, that’s good to know. I’ll have to get a copy. As far as I know Short Circuit (the first) doesn’t , or at least the DVD that came out YEARS ago doesn’t. Really pisses me off.

As a person with Crohn’s Disease who has spent the majority of the last 10 years in the bathroom, I appreciate the shit topic!

I’m all about Mystie’s repaints. I would gladly purchase the Optimus off her. No, I take that back. You give Roddy the treatment and I’ll reward you handsomely.

I spelled my name wrong, confusing doing it backwords… We started playing paintball last year and I couldn’t get the wife to come, scared it would hurt. One night we had a couple of beverages and I talked her into letting me shoot her outside of the house, She put on the mask and got lots of layers of clothes on her torso, as this was where I was going to shoot her. Unfortunatley for myself and her, I shot a bit low and hit her about an inch from her lady place, she rolled around in pain and then gave me an emotional and physical beating, however it was motivating enough for her to come regularly since to get a chance at shooting me. Shame it wasn’t on tape.

Speaking of Zapped! and Scott Baio, I caught a couple episodes of Scott Baio is 45 and Single…man that guy is an ASSHOLE! I wonder how many STDs he has?

Wow. I love you so much for reminding me of these books. I adored these when I was younger. I thought the cross-sections were the coolest things in the world.
You rock.

Holy crap! The girl in Gotcha is the chick from the first Men In Black. The mortician. Weird…

Knegative You hit the nail on the head. I’d rather hit Wheelie in the head with a tire iron though.

Gotcha was an incredible NES game. Didn’t know it was a movie until years later,and I still haven’t seen it.

I am so watching GOTCHA right now and laughing! Man AE looks like a baby in this movie.

I used to work at Barnes and Noble and every time I was shelving books in the childrens section I would always make a point of flipping through a book we had there called Everybody Poops. It had pictures of all different animals doing poops of various sizes and colors. Also pictures of kids on toilets, which was incredibly disturbing. The other one we had, which I think was put out by the same company was called The Gas We Pass. It had a VERY wrong picture of a little boy and an old man sitting in a bathtub together making pooty bubbles. I don’t know if the old man was supposed to be his grandfather or not, but either way I can’t decide which is more disturbing, that he is or that he isn’t.

And yeah, that Scott Baio movie is Zapped. I think there was also a Zapped 2. He gets the power to move things with his mind but all he does is uses it to lift up girls’ skirts. It’s full of goofy comedy and T&A. I think the guy that played Buddy on Charles in Charge is in it with him too. I agree with what someone said earlier, I’ve been watching that 45 and Single show too and he is a total a-hole.

Hey, speaking of somewhat washed up 80’s stars, anybody else watching The Two Coreys? I love it! Partly cause I’m such a Lost Boys fan and partly because of the train wreck factor. It’s a shame though that Corey Haim has become such a strung out, hyper idiot.

I concur. We need a Diamond update. Also, I’ve decided that I don’t need a Torchic or Caterpie. I want a Houndoom. I.e., let me know what you want Norbert so I can go about getting it for you

The ones I want the most are Turtwig & Chimchar, ie the starters I don’t have.

If you’re just starting…I don’t need anything else for now, with the exception of a Cherubi & a Female Combee. I don’t have the patience to wait around honey trees. (they’re also the only honey tree pokemon I don’t have)

every sunday dinner… deification comes up in some way shape or form. come on by Matt, always room at the table for 2 more.

Scott Baio did an interview for that infernal show where he mentioned he and Erin Moran (Joanie) got it on like porn stars. Asshole doesn’t begin to describe him. He’s the Wilmer Valderrama, or whatev his name is, of the 80’s.

Charles in Charge
Of our days and our nights
Charles in Charge
Of our wrongs and our rights

Cameron T: Yeah, I was playing scenes on the DVD last night and they didn’t have any subtitle option. Of course, this was the 2001 Special Edition that had the John Badham so I don’t know if the regular movie only edition has it or not.

Actually, I was kind of upset at the the features they didn’t have. You would have thought they would at least have the video of “Who’s Johnny?”, or better yet, deleted scenes that they show in the ending credits. Scenes such as Johnny in the junkyard and facing off against that Omnibot.

Actually, the Short Circuit 2 disc does have a brief 3-minute documentary on Fisher Stevens. It really doesn’t say anything except he talks about his character, Ben, and how he and Johnny are best friends trying to help each other survive in society.

Anyway, on another topic, I had the single disc Widescreen Edition of Fantastic Four that I was going to give away because I ordered the Two-Disc Special Edition. It has most of the same features that the single disc has so I gave that away to one of my fellow soldiers. I would have offered to give it to anyone on here free of charge, but I had to think of my battle buddies first. Of course, that was after I noticed some features that are not on the Special Edition 2-disc that are on the single disc edition. It looks like I won’t be getting two music videos as well as some of the deleted scenes, but what I do get more than makes up so it was worth the small sacrafice. Anyway, that’s all for now!

Great book, I had it as a kid, and I also noted the crap scenes in every picture. It’s what you do as a kid!

I agree with everyone here on Baio. He’s going to be on a show called 80 and single… or dead and single. HA!

All the pics are of men shitting…which further adds to my theory that women don’t take shits.

When I hear or read the Charles in Charge lyrics, I think of Conan singing then in a grave, serious tone.

On this one “TV Games” NES ripoff I have, I play Gotcha, and it is a barrel of coffee’d-up primates.

Yes, it is sad, kingklash, being from Oklahoma, nobody takes me seriously. lol Little do they know, I have Jerry Bruckheimer on speed dial.
To Bill: Yes, certainly, flowers, and when we sweat, it smells like nectar and ambrosia. I have this bridge I’ve been trying to sell, maybe you’d be interested?

FyarlGirl, apologies if I’ve asked you before, but what part of OK are you from? MWC here.

Alva. NW Oklahoma. We call it the armpit part of the state, because it’s where the pan and the handle meet, kinda. Yeah, it’s not big on laughs!

I’m surprised how many Oklahomans are posters on this site. At least 4 of us I could name off at any given time, I figured most Okies would be too busy reading up on noodling techniques, signing up for Kentucky Deluxe spam mail, and beating their wives to read about 12 year old sodas and infomercials from the 80s.

Well, it’s not like we have much else better to do, know what I’m sayin? Of course, I don’t noodle, I have no idea what Kentucky Deluxe is, and I don’t have a wife, so…what else is there to do? Of course, with all the garage sales and flea markets and convenience stores, I’m surprised there aren’t more Oklahomans on X-E.

Very true. Don’t forget about the thrift stores. If there’s one place that outnumbers churches and Wal Marts (possibly even combined) in this state, it’d be thrift stores.

I’ve only flown over Alva, never been there, but I must say the cloud cover was fantastic. Madd props on the Alvanian atmospheric condensation!

Kentucky Deluxe is cheap whiskey. “KD” is what most people call it around here, I guess “Kentucky Deluxe” is too French and fancy for most, calling it “KD” proves…. something.. I don’t know, I’ve got nothing, but you get where I was going with this.

This reminds me off when they would occasionally put in the blueplans for the Batcave, Batmobile, Fortress of Solitude, and other comic book related gadgets and places in comic books.

Yes, we are known for our environment, lol! “Kentucky Deluxe is too French and fancy for most.” Rofl!! I don’t know many people here who drink whiskey, most of them just drink beer, which euch! I’m more of a tequila sunrise kinda girl, it tastes yummy and doesn’t smell like cat pee!
Oh, yeah, thrift stores. Alva has two, and there’s only about 5,000 people. We are pretty much at the point where everything we own is second-hand, so getting something actually new is pretty cool.

And no, I am NOT gay. Once someone asked about lady bowel movements, I just had to make that joke before someone beat me to it.

I think feminists would insist that the whole “girls don’t poop” idea to be really really stupid. I had a classmate in high school who told everyone she had never farted in her life. Seriously. She was also a beauty queen.

Haha I’m more of a straight tequila shot man myself, althought I did have a fifth of SoCo in my tux jacket pocket this weekend at my friend’s wedding.

To be honest, I’m not sure where you got the impression I fly ( haha :p ), but yes, I’m a DoD employee at Tinker, but not military, I’m a network admin contracted by Lockheed Martin.

I just assumed you fly cause you said you had flown over Alva, and we are not known for attracting commercial airline traffic.
I always find a private stash of alcohol at weddings to be both fun and necessary. Especially when the punch isn’t spiked. Of course, all the bride’s maid dresses I’ve worn haven’t really been conducive to carrying a fifth on my person. Guys have it made when it comes to fashion!

Oh, duh. Sorry, this is Monday #2 for me, reading and posting in here is about the only thing I can do to fight away insanity, so pardon me if I make myself out to be a complete moron at times whether it’s incoherent sentances, absolute slaughtering of easily spelled words, or in this case, complete cluelessness of what I said only 5 minutes ago.

This was an absolutely dry wedding. My friend’s parents are religious nuts, which religious people are ok with me, but these people take it way too far. His mom called him and bitched him out because she stumbled across wine goblets on his Target wedding registry, no lie. The dude is 26 years old, too! So even though he and his fresh missus are down with the booze, water and lemonade were the only beverages openly available and we were stuck sneaking swigs out of our pockets all night long.

Hey, no sweat, it’s a tag-board thingy, not the ACT’s! Whenever I encounter people who don’t drink on religious grounds or whatever, I just want to remind them that Jesus drank wine. Like, a lot!
But the strictness, it seems like a lot of people are like that nowadays. I’m a new teacher at this school where about ten years ago a family pulled their kids out because the teacher taught them about Edgar Allan Poe and witchcraft. Makes me so glad I didn’t put up that Harry Potter poster! lol

Not to get all political or anything but since we are waiting for something new from Matt to spark our interest I am being forced to read real news and it is pissing me off. I don’t want to pay more for gas because it will help fund the $649 billion needed to fix aging bridges. See, we don’t pay a fortune for gas because of the price of a barrel of oil, we pay a fortune for gas because our government can’t create and stick to a budget so we have to make up for it by paying an obscene amount of taxes on gas. STOP SENDING MONEY TO OTHER COUNTRIES AND USE IT ON US FOR A CHANGE!!! No one is sending money to the US to help us advance as a nation.

I am not a smoker but I do feel sorry for smokers because they are raped in taxes on a pack of cigarettes. The government will get all preachy and tell you they are bad for you (and they are but that is your choice) but that won’t stop them from profiting on the sale of them. We don’t want you to die but as long as you are we may as well make some money off of it.

Also, we understand that you need to drive to work in order to pay us taxes so we are going to go ahead and have you pay even more taxes on gas so we can fix the roads that you are forced to drive on everyday so you can work to pay us more in taxes! Sounds like a solid well thought out plan to me.

Matt please post something new quickly before I start working at the post office just so I can go postal legitimately. I need a shot of Tequila! The real news sucks.

I remember in 6th grade in late October we watched Hocus Pocus in English class and one kid’s parents threatened to remove him from the school and file a lawsuit (for whatever dumb reason) because of it.

I respect the fact that people have beliefs, even hardcore beliefs, but I don’t understand why some times beliefs have to be coupled with closed-mindedness.

I’m a medicinal cannabis support and I feel very strongly about it, but just because someone doesn’t smoke pot or even just agrees with me, doesn’t mean I’ll close off all association with that person. I know it’s ignorant to wish everybody thought along the same lines as I do, or even used the same thought concepts, but it still makes me sad (and in some cases, angry) that more people don’t.

Yeah, politicians don’t mind putting us over a barrel, but they aren’t really willing to tighten their own belts, like with their salaries and perks and retirement packages. Look up fascism, somebody, and tell me how it’s different from our setup right now.

What makes me angry, fistpittingnork, is when people can’t be rational about something. Like the introduction of a new idea or an opposing idea is so bothersome that they just start ranting, a knee jerk response to something they don’t understand. Coming from such a small town, I have been called a communist (?), a dyke (ha!), a treehugger, a hippie, a witch, and various other things because of my opinions and inability to be quiet. It’s been an amazing experience in learning tolerance, in an ironic sense. I, too, think cannabis should be used for medicinal purposes, because chemically speaking it is a lot safer and simpler than the manufactured painkillers most people use. Of course, then there are those friends of mine who smoke so much that a glacoma (sp?) patient could sit by them and feel better.

I think I need to stick to the gossip sites because reality bites and it is much less stressful reading about Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears ckecking in and out of rehab like the rest of us check in and out of hotels.

I did a speech on censorship in schools back in High School for Academic Decathlon and it still amazes me to this day how close and narrow minded people can be. If you are interested in seeing how backwards some places still are you should take a look at http://www.WM3.org and read about a modern day version of a witch hunt (satanic panic) in West Memphis, Arkansas. These poor guys were considered being into devil worship because they read Stephen King, listened to Metallica and one wore a black trench coat. Sad.

Cricket, did you see the films HBO did on the West Memphis 3? They show footage of the boys on trial, oh my god, it is so sad, because it’s so obvious they were innocent, in pretty much every sense of the word. I seriously think one of the dads of the little kids was the killer.

I don’t think medicinal MJ is a bad thing if it helps. I don’t use drugs and I don’t advocate recreational drug use for many reasons but I am not going to tell you what to do. You know the risks and you can take responsibility for your actions. It is sad that they just shot down allowing people with terminal illness access to experimental drugs. If you are already dying and are willing to try something that might work then why not? The outcome is 50/50 and you are already gauranteed one of the 50 if you do nothing at all so why can’t you make that choice for yourself?

I have the videos and books on the whole thing. I think John Mark Byers is the one who did it. Anyone with less than half a brain knows he did it so I am at a loss as to why they are still in prison and one is on death row. That guy is a psycho and Christopher Byers mom died of mysterious causes and they still haven’t released her death certificate. Funny how everywhere this guy goes he is involved in some sort of criminal act or activity yet he is walking free.

I think a lot of it comes down to the judge who heard the first trial. My memory’s a bit rusty, but wasn’t he also the circuit judge who decided if trials could be heard on appeal? Makes me think he only cares about his own pride. And yeah, Byers is effin crazy.

Not to piss you off even more, Cricket, but the gasoline tax is already in place to fund the interstates and highway systems. Has been for a long time. Those bridges should have been fixed with money you have already paid.

The real question everyone needs to be asking our representatives and congressmen is “Where has that money gone?”

Chris, thanks, I was happy in my ignorance. Kidding. Matt, I implore, update soon! All this real life stuff is upsetting. Wah!

Yes it is the same Judge over and over again. Also, the other thing that bugs me is that they found a hair from Terry Hobbs (step-dad of Stevie Branch) in one of the knots on the ropes that one of the kids was bound with. They had no matching DNA from Damien, Jason or Jessie but they had some from JMB and TH.

This whole case is pure ego. They had no suspects so they found some. They arrested them based on the confession of a mentally slow boy who was questioned without a parent or lawyer present for hours and hours (illegal) and tainted the public before the trial. The kids were from poor families so they had public defenders who did not get the trials moved to another area for fairness so they were convicted. Tons of evidence has just “gone missing” so little can be done and the same Judge that tried them to start with is the same one who keeps standing in the way of getting them retried.

I know we already pay gas taxes for this but they are talking about increasing it again to fund the $649 billion needed to fix the bridges immediately. I am pretty sure all the money they have raised in the past has either gone to funding this war or to help rebuild other nations because American taxpayers are generous like that. I am not anti-war, I understand why we went there and the responsibility we have now that we are there, but we really need to bring our men and women home and stop telling the world what to do. We can help them on the road to democracy but they have to be willing to champion the cause once we are gone or this was all for nothing. I am not so sure they are willing to do it or capable of doing it.

Matt - do they have one of these cross section books on a DeLorean? I want to build my own flux capacitor and use banana peels and garbage for gas.

I live in the midwest and there are plenty of religious nuts here too. But like here, and OK and even the “progressive” city of Seattle where I used to live, religious fanatics and in the minority of their religion. Very rarely does one run into one of these “nuts” somehow we only run into the “normal” people of that said place. Which may be a decent indication that the numbers that fanatics present are blown up in the media.

It’s interesting living in another country and hearing insider opinions on America. I mean, i am sure there are billions of forums/blogs that discuss the inner politics or america but I have never bothered to seek them out but I do enjoy hearing what you US’ites have to say - so carry on.
As I am sure you are all aware, all countries have similar issues so don’t feel it’s just you guys

It is really fascinating to hear what it’s like to live in different parts of the world. That was always my favorite thing to talk about with foreign exchange students, because they aren’t tourists; they really get to see what it’s like to live here.

I have lived in the states though but didn’t get to do too much in depth talking.

Unfortunately the kind of reckless price-gouging we’re seeing now as a result of the bridge disaster isn’t just restricted to this country. You may have heard Britain was heavily flooded last month (the worst in about 60 years). Paradoxically about 100,000 people are without drinking water (or at least were at the end of July). And of course taxes and water bills are scheduled to go up astronomically there. (There were several demands on the BBC News messageboard to renationalize utilities such as water (which were privatized under Thatcher and her successor).

On a lighter note, here’s a video somewhat keeping in tune with our current scatological theme. I guarantee you you will look at this and go “What the HELL was that?”

Yeah, I didn’t really expect a political discussion here, and if we tone it down here I’d appreciate that.

XE+current affairs=ew.
Someone think of a survey, or we can talk about poop some more.

Hey Wii owners, did everybody get the system update today? I loved walking in the living room and finding that cool blue glow in the dark hours of twilight.

Cameron T.: Indeed. I discovered my Wii glowing blue around 3 AM. I then hopped online to determine what changes my Wii was going through.

So where does one go really to have a discussion given the last blog had so much crap talk. I guess we make a little tangent and start discussing animal crap stories?

woops, wrong thread.
I don’t have a wii - but if I go next gen, it definately will be nintendo all the way

I just figured that the post started with crap talk so we could easily end it with talking about crap. Sadly it was world crap but crap none the less. Now on to the new post!

I remember reading these books. I don’t think I’ve seen one for years though. @.o;

Let’s all be grateful they didn’t take further creative license with this and show other depictions, like people vomiting or engaging in bestiality within the diagrams….just for shits and giggles! Better yet, thank the gods above that there was not a cross-cut of one of those actual toilets where you could easily view the act of defecation in progress through the layers of pipes and porcelain. It takes all the fun out of searching for the pooping protagonists on each page when they just enlarge it and shove the image directly in your face!

I own the cross sections book as well since forever and looking for the crapper was always my favourate bit as well!

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