X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

07/28/2007: Summer Megaparty: Betty Crocker was an astronaut.

I’d classify Hamburger Helper’s anthropomorphic “Helping Hand” as one of the more undervalued product mascots of the past century, but in 1990, parent company Betty Crocker did away with the talking palm entirely for a very odd Hamburger Helper spinoff that took meaty macaroni…into outer space.

The 1990 “Space Adventure” brand was a real shot in the dark and one that clearly didn’t pan out for Ms. Crocker, but let’s be honest. Show of hands: Who wouldn’t prefer to eat macaroni that came from a box with a picture of Saturn on it to macaroni that didn’t?

Making “fun-shaped” macaroni was nothing new even back in 1990, but what separated the “Space Adventure” brand was its thoroughosity, for lack of a word that actually exists. Had this stuff just come in a regular Hamburger Helper box with a little text burst reading, “HEY KIDS: NEW SPACE-SHAPED RONIS INSIDE,” I’d be neither here nor there. But with such a fuss made out of everything on the packaging, it’s tough to disagree that every variety of pasta should have a space-themed alternative.

There were five different weirdo shapes in each box, which Betty Crocker went through the trouble of naming and describing. We had the “UFO,” “Alien,” “Space Runner I,” “Saturn” and “Blaze.” Most of those are self-explanatory, but you should know that “Space Runner I” is a “high speed spaceship,” and that “Blaze” is the “hottest star in the universe.” You should also know that the supposed “UFO” looked like a Hershey’s Kiss with feet.

Incredibly, there were four different flavors in the “Space Adventure” collection, each with a different theme. The Saturn-themed box I own featured a spaghetti sauce flavor, but it looks like “beef” got the coolest mascot — that one’s box had a kickass killer space robot on the front.

If you were the type of person prone to making spoonfuls of Spaghettios fly around your head for a minute before swallowing, the “Space Adventure” brand helped such actions make sense. Pasta shaped like spaceships should have a chance to fly around your head before you eat it. And you should totally make razzy noises with your mouth to serve as engine thrust sound effects while doing this.

Every new product push is footnoted by a clever slogan, and here was Betty Crocker’s for the “Space Adventure” collection: “Down to earth nutrition. Out of this world fun.”

I hate it when people don’t capitalize “Earth” when they’re referring to the planet and not its soil. It’s technically correct either way, but if you can’t call “Jupiter” “jupiter,” why can you call “Earth” “earth?” Would Betty Crocker mind if I called her betty crocker?

I think with each passing year as a child you like Spaghettios a little less. By the time you hit 10 you’re sick of ‘em.

I always have to tell my mother to cut the required amount of meat in half for hamburger helper. Let’s be honest, its just an excuse to shove a pound of meat down your family’s gullet

Arbys totally ripped off the Helper Hand with that Tom Arnold-voiced oven mitt.
The evil alien looks vaguely Squidwardy, no?

Click my name if you’re interested in seeing a video of the further adventures of Thomas from NES Kung Fu.

If you look at the alien picture upside down, it’s a piece of Honeycomb wearing a safari hat. I would’ve put a flipped picture in to prove this, but it seemed too soon after the Grow-A-Kong goldfish.

Actually, I think the alien looks more like an evil clown smiling like Joker, IT, Killer Klown, etc.

Other than Stroganoff, I can’t stand HH. I just find them bland and disgusting.

This is always the meal I F up making. There is something about adding powder to meat that completely scares me.

Matt, are you planning a tip of the hat post for Shark week ‘07? We are having a Shark Week party here. All the fish sticks, Dogfish beer, Blazing buffalo Goldfish crackers you can eat.

One time at a Durham Bulls game I saw a guy wearing a Hamburger Helper Palm costume. It was essentially one guy walking about with a giant inflatable hand. It was funny in that the guy was having to be dragged around because it was real hard for him to move around in the costume.

At least it looked nicer than the uglyass Fairly Odd Parents costumes that were inflatable that I saw at another game.

I always liked The Helping Hand, it seems like him and the Pilsbury Dough Boy would be good friends.

I’m not so much a fan of the HAMBURGER Helper, but I love the creamy noodle Tuna Helper. It sounds gross but I don’t care, I always make more peas to add to it, soooo good. In fact I think I may make it tonight for dinner?

I havent posted in awhile, it’s been a bad week, my 25 year old cousin in-law passed away from cancer, she has twin boys that are under two. But I’m in better spirits now so bring on some SNT!

The word is “thoroughness,” although I would certainly cast my vote for “thoroughosity” as its replacement.

Obviously, Matt, the tattoo’s hamburgerness was a result of a flash of future-seeing (I’m tired - my language abilities are naught). It is most evident that you saw, subconsciously, that you were going to do an article that would include both Saturn and hamburger. Thus, you decided to commemorate this event with skin ink.

If I remember one of Conan O’Brien’s Year 2000 predictions, the Hand is there to help Hamburger masturbate.

I have never ever eaten Hamburger Helper, even before I was a vegan. But damnit, if I’d have known about THIS stuff, back in the day, I probably would’ve tried sneaking it in the cart while mom wasn’t looking.

Jeesh, I cannot believe it’s been seventeen years since the hand was around. It certainly feels more recent than that. This statistic makes me feel old.

We just got new beer glasses. This caused the need to go run and get Guinness to try out said new beer glasses. Yay Saturday.

Has anyone else every tried Boddingtons Pub Ale? There is just something really fun about a pint-sized can of beer with a widget that hisses at you when you crack it open.

I like Boddingtons okay, but I believe Guinness will always be the dark widgety champion. Target actually sells some cool vintage Guinness pint glasses with toucans and stuff on them.

These cans came with the widgety ping pong ball thing. It’s the perfect beer to try a new glass out on. I feel like I’m drinking some form of variation on the lava lamp.

I have seen the hamburger helper hand more recent then that. I swear I’ve seen him within this last couple years when a soap opera was on. I’ll try to youtube him.

I saw the simpsons movie this afternoon (don’t know really what to say about it, it didn’t feel like a long simpsons episode which is good) and on the way to the grocery store i saw a yard sale sign so we HAD to stop. There were a couple amusing things but I only bought one thing a jack daniels lynchburg lemonade jarmug. It’s kind of small but it had character and I like mugs with character. I am really looking for some huge beer stiens to get, about 5-8 of them would do it. I want to get them for some kickass rootbeer floats. I saw a smaller one today but I don’t want a small one and I looked on the side and it had an advertisement for a bank lol. I bought the jarmug for 10 cents.

And Bill they are still raising money for the special olympics. Just so you know

I occasionally ate Hamburger Helper when it was on sale in college and for a few years after, but I eventually dropped all packaged pasta and rice dishes from my diet during one of my many attempts to “change my eating habits”…and never bothered with them again.

My mother’s never liked Hamburger Helper at all, so I completely do not remember that space-themed box. It is pretty cool, though. The UFO looks like a Goomba from the Mario games.

My family was not really into the whole “Hamburger Helper” scene when I was growing up. My mother did make a killer tuna casserole however. Take a few heaping spoonfuls of that, mix in some peas, and I was in heaven. Yeah, I was that one weird kid at the lunch table in 5th grade who was actually excited that one day of the month they served tuna casserole. A few years ago I did discover the Four Cheese Chicken Helper. My lady and I ate that probably once every other week for two or three years straight. We both loved it. I am having some trouble finding it lately though. Oh well.

All this beer talk (Guinness, Boddingtons, beer steins, etc) is really making me thirsty. I do have a problem though. I spent the first half of the day feeling pretty sick and eventually passed on going to a Jimmy Buffet concert with my girl tonight. Even though I am feeling better after sleeping for a few hours this afternoon I would still run the risk of making her upset if she comes home at 1 AM and finds me slightly intoxicated. You know, the whole “you were too sick to come with me but now you feel fine enough to pound beers?”

If you have not seen the Simpsons Movie, please skip this post, as it may contain some spoilers. You have been warned.

Actually, Goob, I personally think the Simpsons Movie did feel like an extended episode. I’ve been thinking about how I felt about this movie, as I enjoyed it, but thought it was just okay. There was something about it that just did not click with me. A few of the jokes kind of fell flat (the “Geronimo!”, “Sacajawea!” one, Bart’s one-day stint as an alcoholic, and a few others), and I noticed a problem with the pacing. Some scenes dragged, while others (Homer’s epiphany scene) seemed strangely rushed. Another problem I had was that the movie got saddled with an utterly uninteresting villain, Cargill, the EPA guy; one critic said that a classic Simpsons movie should have had Mr. Burns as the villain. I’m inclined to agree.

STAND BY FOR MANIMAL’s MARATHON GETTING CAUGHT UP POST
This post is an effort to say somethings that I haven’t had a chance to lately.
1. Thanks again to everybody including Matt for all the warm baby notes. The little “P.S.” proved that my 2nd daughter gets the same consideration as my first did.

2. I can’t believe the Hand has been gone that long. Unbelivable.
3. I agree with Thomas. I think the SIMPSONS MOVIE, although funny and good overall, wasn’t big enough. Anybody can be a film critic but this time I think they got it right.
The only other mistake was that some of the jokes really date the movie in 2007 which I feel is unwise.
4. Finally, I am sorry I missed the big Indian/nationality debate. Okay, this is going to sound jerkier than I want it to but: I am not saying you are not part-Indian, but I wouldn’t take anything my family told me about my geneaology WITHOUT RESEARCHING IT. My family had 2 fish tales: One was the we were related to Thomas Jefferson (not true) and the other was that one of my relatives ran away and married an Indian girl. Again, not true. These are cool stories but the evidence proved them wrong.
It became cool to be part Indian in the 50’s because then you were a “natural tracker” and then even cooler after the Red Power (AIM) Movement of the late 60’s.
The reason why everyone is 1/16th Cherokee is because (A) the Cherokee were not exterminated because many (not all) assimilated with the whites (look at the appearance/dress of Major Ridge or John Ross) or (B) the Cherokee were split into 2 bands, Eastern and Western Bands, dispersing them across the U.S.
All I ask is that you do some real research (about anything) before you perpetuate myths.
END OF RANT.

I don’t think the Hand ended his reign in 1990…hope I didn’t imply that by my post. Pretty sure he’s still around?

I actually didn’t want to say much about the movie out of respect for the people that haven’t seen it. This review is coming from somebody that got when they were a kid and still uses a simpsons pillowcase. Still uses.
!!!Spoilers!!! Don’t read the rest of the post if you are planning on seeing the movie!!
I was expecting a broadway play type of part or throughout because of the simpsons history. Now that ‘mr burns being a villain’ part is stuck in my mind. The whole movie I was thinking is that hank scorpio or just the same voice? did he become vice president? Why is hank scorpio being mean to homer? Doesn’t he remember homer? At the end when they showed the credits I turned around seriously I did and I said to a stranger “well that’s cheap! that’s not Hank Scorpio that’s just the same voice!” He was confused and stunned and slightly offended because I said the movie was cheap. I also think that riding a motorcycle in one of those spheres would be a blasty blast.

It is a slow night. Boards at Shrine seem to be down in some manner. Just finished watching the “fan” commentary on TF. I guess I’m going to go watch some more episodes of Ebichu on YouTube.

Well I meant in general, not on the blog. I will not hold you responsible for the crawl of my personal life.

Hey Matt, I know you’re a fan of Avatar. Well, they just released the trailer for the third season today at ComiCon! Click my name for trailer goodness!

Oh, and I never liked Hamburger Helper, talking hand or no. It just tastes like nasty cafeteria food to me…

Yeah, it is always slow when I’m in the mood for talking…uh typing. I guess I’m just not a good topic starter so I wait.

The only movie I found on TV is Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, I don’t really wanna watch it cause I missed the beginning.

I’m pretty sure the helper hand is still around, my MIL bought some instant HH and he’s on the front, for the record I’m not planning to have anything to do with that Instant Hamburger Helper, DH can help himself with that one!

As previously noted, I do quite fancy cafeteria food, so that may explain why I do enjoy HH. However, I again recommended cutting back the meat requirement by 1/2 or even more. It tends to call for a pound of chuck and honestly when you use that much it’s like you’re shoveling gobs of meat in your mouth with a stray noodle or two

If you make it so there is much more noodles than meat, it can be very tolerable.

I enjoyed a brief stint as a HH lover all because of a Calvin & Hobbes strip where Calvin is surprised to find out that he likes hamburger casserole.

For me I like to add more veggies in my HH, depending on the type. I didn’t end up eating Tuna Helper tonight, but I kida wish I did. I had perogies and they were the kind with bacon not cheese. I like to add the bacon and have the cheese flavoured perogs. Oh and sour cream! Lots and lots of sour cream!

You absolutely have to add veggies to your HH (or chicken in my case). I tear open a package of frozen peas and carrots and add that to the mixture on the stove top. Mmmm good. I also agree that cutting the meat you add is essential.

well, I guess it doesn’t seem like seventeen years cause it hasn’t been. When I moved out I bought HH a few times, just cause it was cheap and easy. I can’t stand the amount of salt they put in there though. So, I never buy it anymore.
Yeah, doho, you totally overexerted yourself there.

Oh man I love Hamburger Helper. I blame the Hand and the Hand alone for my ghetto booty. Going down a bit now, though, thank God.

Got a letter in the mail today from my school saying they finally approved my scholarship so almost all my classes are going to be paid for. W00t w00t! I needed to celebrate so I called up the ex and was all, “I GOT GOOD NEWS BABE AND I’MMA GONNA TAKES YOU TO RED LOBSTER!!” Much seafood was consumed. Ahhhh…. yes. 10x better than last date to Red Lobster, and that’s sayin’ something! After that he took me to the Reading Comedy Club as a suuurprrriiiseee. SO much fun. God I’m so happy to have him back in my life, even if he is insane!

My mom ruined HH for me. After my parents were divorced, we had to go cheap-o on the groceries, so there was WAY too much HH. Same goes for Cap’n Crunch. I cannot stomach Cap’n Crunch. Let the boos and hisses commence.

Have I missed something, or is there really no reason to the random Amazon links the past few days?

I’ve got nothing much to add except that I’ve never had HH, so I can’t comment on it at all.

Has there been any good games released lately on either Nintendo’s Virtual Console or Xbox live arcade? Any recommendations?

dohopoki: Oh yeah, love it. I ignored the negativity most had towards it (ANOTHER PAC-MAN GAME!) and decided to give it a chance. It was fantastic. I think that was the last one I’ve checked out though. I did download the demo for Super Contra a couple of days ago, but I’ve yet to try it out yet.

That is what I get for not using the preview button after drinking a few beers. Damn.

Paper Mario came out on the VC a little while ago, as well as SMB 2. Nothing exciting for me, but I’m sure some people are happy. Metroid Prime 3 comes out this month, too. I couldn’t tell you what my next purchase will be. Smash Bros. probably.

I’ve seen lots of people on the net talking about “why do people keep buying Pacman, it’s always the same game.” Anyone who says that hasn’t played CE and if they have, they need punched really hard.

Perusing the VC I see that Devil’s Crush has been unleashed. Do I dare download that after I’ve already partaken in the H.R. Giger-inspired glory that was Alien Crush?

I heard they’re both good but how many pinball games do you need? Pinball right?

Well, after a week of hemming and hawing I finally bit. Classics Rodimus is on his way to my door. I honestly wish I had gotten back into TF a little earlier than I did, like when Classics were still on the shelves. I was thinking about getting Starscream, but he’s just so expensive now. I still think Astrotrain is just a mess. His train mode lookes like a d***o. Period.

Even Hot Rod was a bit pricey, but I really wanted him so I don’t feel bad about the decision.

Mystie congrats on the scholarship! You made me just want some of that shrimp Alfredo pasta they advertise so much. They have a buffet here called old country buffet (don’t know how widespread that chain is) that like thursdays and saturdays or something they have steak and shrimp night. It’s a nice buffet the food is better then most of them I go to.

And hamburger helper is not the healthiest thing to eat it’s loaded with salt and the noodles are nothing but carbs. But I survived on them last year because it’s easy to make. I got tired of the noodles and powder kind though after awhile and I used the potato stroganoff one a lot after I got tired of the noodle ones. We got the generic ones a lot but sometimes got the name brand ones when the price was right. I love the ones that have noodles or rice, a powder packet (sometimes two) and a sauce packet with actual sauce! Most of those are the ol paso taco flavored ones and some of the italian lasanga pasta types. But they should really have less sodium types of hamburger helpers because my best friend groans at the two words now.

Yes, they’re both pinball. To tell you the truth I’ve just been sitting here for the past twenty minutes, reading other websites, and listening to the Wii Shop Channel’s elevator music.

Congrats, Mystie! Scholarships are awesome- that’s the only way I got to college when I did.

I just got home, and when I saw the picture of the Space HH (before I read anything), my first thought was “That’s on my list!” Then it clicked that it was old, so I was sad. I would have been all over that if it was fresh.

My cat just threw up on my bed and, with a bit of good luck on her part, the sheets themselves. I knew I should have made my bed today. To be honest, I’m kinda surprised she had that much in her.

dohopoki, my friend has a Simpsons style picture of him on MySpace 2.0 (aka Facebook), so maybe that’s where he got it? Possible proof that it could work…

My two cents: I felt like the Simpsons movie was just flat out boring. I’m not trying to sound harsh, but to me it just was. I actually fell asleep twice -and yes, I had plenty of rest the night before. The audience -expect for a small group of 10 year olds that got excited when they showed the parts they knew from commercials- was dead too; hardly anyone laughed more than a chuckle at a few bits here and there.

All this talk about Pac-Man and pinball has reminded me…did anyone ever play Pac-Ball back in the day? The one where you had to go through the tunnel at the bottom of the screen and play a game of pinball on the built-in table to get power pellets? Most of the old arcade game websites have the same cabinet with Baby Pacman logos on it, but my cousin had one in his garage and I swear it was just called Pac-Ball. Best game ever, especially since the idea of an arcade game that didn’t eat quarters was terribly magical at the time.

I got the Simpsonize Me thing to work after about 5 tries, and the end result was SO not worth it. The end image didn’t look a thing like me, so I did most of the work myself (adding glasses, adjusting hair color, changing various facial features, adding a cap, etc.) at the end, so I was pissed- basically you wait forever for the stupid website to ’simpsonize’ you then you do all the work in the end.

I don’t know what was up last night, but it was one of those were my posts weren’t showing up. *sigh* So, if they show up and this one shows up, forgive me. After a night of not being able to post anywhere I’m willing to look stupid in finally getting something to show

I finally ordered Classics Rodimus because Starscream is just too expensive and Astrotrain’s train mode looks like a sex toy

That’s the gist of what I was saying.

That’s awesome Mystie. Very happy for you. I never said anything when I saw it, but the vid of you with the OP helmet on was terrific.

Happy Sunday XE-ers. I have the day off and plan on throwing away half my belongings today as they do not fit into my new apt. So I am going to be lurking all day.

Yay, the Summer Jukebox is finally working! And who says all aliens are evil? Did E.T. sell poisoned milk to kids or something?

Yeah, I haven’t felt too enthused about the Simpsons Movie myself. Yeah, the series has managed to stay somewhat relevant all these years…but it still feels like kind of a relic of history now. A movie would’ve made much more sense about 15 years ago. Speaking of which, apparently the Kamp Krusty episode was originally intended as a movie. I would’ve been more excited if that were a movie (especially since I think that episode was when I first started watching the series regularly).

And lastly, I too saw the Hand in a recent commercial, after him being absent since about 1991.

Speaking of which, apparently the Kamp Krusty episode was originally intended as a movie. I would’ve been more excited if that were a movie (especially since I think that episode was when I first started watching the series regularly).

The story behind that is that the story itself came up waaay too short for the 22 minutes of the episode itself, and they had to basically use every trick in the book to bring it to lenght (longer opening, making the Kamp Krusty Song longer, an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon, etc) so making a movie from that idea would have been a bust.

All in all, for a movie that was another “: The Movie”, this one was VERY well done. I still suggest going to see it.

If the simpsonize thing allows you to adjust things after its done why don’t they just let you make a character without a picture?

I still haven’t seen the Simpsons movie, but to me, The Simpsons is now like Saturday Night Live. It’s just always there, and always watchable. Sure, sometimes it goes through periods of just plain sucking, but every now and then it will shine again.

If you go to the main Simpsons sight -click my name- they have a similiar feature called “make a Simpson’s avatar” that skips the picture part and it has better options for making it look more like someone.

The main Simpsons site -it won’t let me post a link but go to Simspons.com then hit Features- has a “make a Simpsons avatar” tab; it has better options and does a better job of making someone. Plus, it skips the whole picture thing.

But what I really want to say is that I don’t know why it’s called Hamburger Helper, it does just fine by itself!

I didn’t say the Simpsons was unwatchable-it just isn’t as cutting-edge as it was in the early ’90s. I always watch the new episodes, but I just don’t know if it’s worth $7 to see them in the theater. Now if there were a Family Guy theatrical movie…

Uh oh, I was afraid somebody was going to say it. Andrew just opened a can of worms: The Great SIMPSONS vs. FAMILY GUY debate.
I don’t have the energy to argue my points again and I don’t suggest we start a fight. However, if a fight does break out, put me in the “SIMPSONS will always be better even though they are certainly not as great/relevant as they once were” camp.
Peace be with you.

I think it’s so cool to see Bart Simpson dolls popping up in claw machines again.

Family Guy is a string of jokes w/o a plot yada yada yada. South Park gloty

But don’t anyone dare come at me, I don’t watch either of them and have no room to comment at all.

I’m going to say that both shows have declined in quality over the years. It’s just more obvious on The Simpsons than on Family Guy.

I got to say I’m much more impressed with Simpsons avatar maker than I am with that simponizse me. I made a me from how I look now and a me on how I look when I’m happy with the way I look, both in about 5 minutes.

I knew I could not have been the only one who felt the Simpsons Movie didn’t quite work. It does have its’ funny moments, but the story wasn’t that interesting, and was almost overwhelmed by the almost non-stop gags. That said, I just wanted to mention something on Wikipedia’s Simpsons Movie page; apparently, before he died, Phil Hartman had expressed interest in doing a live-action Troy McClure movie. He even got some of the show’s writers interested in the idea. Now, that might’ve been a good movie.

I heard about the live-action Troy McClure movie on one of the commentaries for an episode on the DVDs. Live-Action obviously wouldn’t work for the Simpsons but having it based on soley Troy McClure is such a great/clever idea and the movie would have endless possibilities. It’s just the kind of idea that speaks for itself on how well it would have worked.

heeree- I had the same problem, I lived with my dad after my parents split and he had a very limited cooking repertoire. HH burnout as well as Velveeta shells and cheese (adding tuna does NOT make it “special”) and pork chops. Only now, a good 12-15 years later later am I able to tolerate pork chops on rare occasions.

I am hoping to be able to use fewer packaged foods for the fam after the new baby comes and I am at home full time. Yeah… and the hub is really holding his breath on that one.

Jedoc I think they have pac-ball at the retro arcade in Santa Cruz beach boardwalk in California… Ive never played it though.
Simpsons? Family Guy? South Park? Everyone should watch METALOCALYPSE on adult swim it started off being not so great, but now its fantastic!

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