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Summer Megaparty: Make My Monsters Grow!

Sorry, yesterday was just one of those days, and I didn't feel like making an entry just to say that. I'm also going to blitz through today's entry, as I've stumbled onto enough material for a full-length article and want to get as much of it done this afternoon as possible.


Grow-In-Water toys have really evolved into something special in recent years, expanding in size, color and general awesomeness. Such toys were formerly mundane and almost always generic, but as you can see above, today's options are limitless. Even in their small, original shapes, Humble Bumble and King Kong look so great that I'm halfway tempted to just leave them like that. After all, the exquisite detail work will certainly be diminished once I drop these fuckers in water to swell overnight.

On the other hand, both packages claim that the creatures will grow up to 600% larger if left to drench for 72 hours. Kong is already almost two inches tall, and the thought of owning a sopping wet, foot-long gorilla makes 72 hours sound like a lifetime. In Bumble's case, I just want to see how his individually painted teeth and jarringly blue mouth look after a three-day swim.


There was more than a small part of me wanting to put Kong and Bumble in one single container, as such efforts would surely deliver some kind of mutant, hybrid, Brundlefly-esque monstrosity in the realm of outsider art. But I have far too much love for King Kong and Humble Bumble to subject them to such psychophysical torments.

Various dictionaries tell me that "psychophysical" means "the time required for the mind to transform a sensory impression into a motor impulse," but since it's just so obvious that it should really mean "affecting mind and body." I'm hereby redefining the word and rallying the like-minded to my cause.

When my pals are done growing, I'll show you the results. Meantime, you can grow (ha!) more acquainted with Grow-In-Water toys with my old review of the Gremlins Water Hatchers.

Posted by Matt on 07/23/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 112 comments

I agree with Paul, put a webcam on those badboys and lets watch em real time ;) . For those of us without a life. Fios should be able to handle the streaming traffic :) .

Chestnuts roasted by Primus @ 07/23/2007 3:22 PM


Oh my goodness, nork, $50 in gas? I’m glad you enjoyed it, sounds like a fun road trip. I’ve got to get my own Kwik-E-Mart pictures uploaded (though of course they’re just like Matt’s and yours, with the addition of shots of the incredibly long line I had to wait in).
I can’t wait to see these guys grow. Grow Kong was on the Xmas wishlist, wasn’t he? I remember considering him before deciding on the tangentially more awesome Jimmy Buffet album.
I didn’t rush through Harry Potter because of the accomplishment of it (though I admit after a few days of media blackout I was withdrawing and was eager to make it back for the SNT) but just because I NEEDED to know. It’s been the same for all the others too, JKR just builds up such suspense that by the time the third act starts there’s just no putting the book down. Though I admit I did get a kick out of spoiling people at work this morning (only the ones who asked, of course).

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/23/2007 3:26 PM


oh squee.. i shouldn’t have clicked your link.. i shouldn’t have quickly glanced at the text of your latest post…. i am only 100 pages into the book *cries*

Chestnuts roasted by Primus @ 07/23/2007 3:36 PM


After surviving a weird ban session, a family outing to south NJ and Atlantic City and not receiving HP7 even though it came Saturday but I missed the delivery confirmation I am back here with all of you. Hooray!

I’m really pissed off at the post office they were supposed to try and deliver HP again today but didn’t. So I got myself and half my family playing phone tag with every post office on Staten Island trying to find the damn thing.

While in AC I found a lot of the dinosaurs from Dinosaur Beach and the the bumper cars from there. the Steel Pier outside trump taj mahal has them all.

Chestnuts roasted by DrPhilIsDaDevil=Danny J @ 07/23/2007 3:41 PM


That is why I always buy stuff on the day. Unless I can’t get something otherwise. Speaking of which, I really need to scrape up some cash for an eBay splurge.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/23/2007 3:48 PM


Target had some Halloween Grow-in-Water toys a few years ago, and I bought them all just because they looked awesome. Cool little Vampires, Frankenstein’s Monsters, and Ghosts. I never wanted to ruin them by getting them wet though.

And I blazed through the last Potter book for the same reasons, I was terrified someone was going to ruin it for me. Parts of ‘Half-Blood Prince’ were spoiled because I took a week to read it, and I really didn’t want that to happen again. I generally read pretty fast though, anyway, so a book like that is a weekend read if I don’t have much going on otherwise.

Chestnuts roasted by Big McLargehuge @ 07/23/2007 3:53 PM


Off-Topic but extremely funny: The Bo-Heman Rhapsody. Just click on the third Youtube screen.

http://tinyurl.com/385dzb

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/23/2007 4:13 PM


It was just such an AMAZING read that I could not put it down. I still had lots of time to do lots of stuff this weekend since the book only took about 6 hours or so to read. I think I am going to go back to book 1 and read them all over again now that I have a complete picture.

I have to stop typing now or I will end up spoiling something for those of you who are still working your way through. Suffice it to say that the book is great…SO HURRY UP!

Matt – I don’t really recall ever hearing you talk about the Potter books. Are you not a fan or are you a closeted fan who is perhaps afraid to come out??? :-) Hmmmm…….

Chestnuts roasted by Cricket @ 07/23/2007 4:22 PM


Gremlins water hatchers!? How could I have missed the chance to finally have my own Gizmo!? I’m going to go to sleep out of depression now.

Chestnuts roasted by Cotter @ 07/23/2007 4:23 PM


Thanks everyone! (esp kingklash) Now, I am off to play the game!

Whenever a game gets me down like that, I always enjoy watching some Angry Nintendo Nerd, which I have spent the last hour doing.

Why do people post spoilers? What pleasure could they possible get from it? It boggles my mind.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 07/23/2007 4:51 PM


I will not post spoilers to HP. It would be the equivalent of someone posting spoilers of the Simpsons movie for me.

I just had an idea. Holy shit. Grow in water deformed fetuses, you put the thing in a mason jar and let it swell and then bam a pickled punk, leave it sealed and on the shelf for a creepy display, alot easier than getting a hold of a real two headed baby and probably easier to transport. Holy shit… I’m gonna be a millionaire

Kinda reminds me of that Baby in a Bottle comic from The Far Side. The guy said he got it at a garage sale, didn’t know how it was possible, but made a great showpiece.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/23/2007 4:57 PM


Oh Primus I am so terribly sorry! I feel awful. I was all “click my name to discuss spoilers on my blog” in the last thread so I didn’t think about how I should have warned again. You probably just got utterly and totally spoiled for everything, I’m so so sorry.
I’m sure Matt will clean up all spoilers as soon as he sees them. He’s mentioned that he’s not really into fiction novels so I don’t think he’s all that into HP. I do remember him reviewing the Chamber of Secrets movie favorably though, so I could be wrong.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 (click for HP discussion with spoilers) @ 07/23/2007 5:01 PM


squee thanks for checking it out. Yeah $52 and some change in gas. It was 430 miles round trip. Took my Mom’s car, I was pleased to fill up the tank and it end at $52, my truck fills up from empty at about $75. Another conversation for some other time though.

Muppet, they do it because they want to feel smart that they know the outcome and you don’t. It’s a pissing contest to these people.

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 07/23/2007 5:01 PM


Hmmm, grow-dealies. Matt, think you could post pics of these guys daily, so’s we could watch them growing? I don’t want this to turn into another Chia Plot.

Chestnuts roasted by DocDragon @ 07/23/2007 5:12 PM


Hmm. I had one of those grow-in-water starfish back in college. My roommate named it Irwin and at the end of the year we gave him a burial at sea. Friend played taps and all in the girls bathroom.

Chestnuts roasted by Ann @ 07/23/2007 5:28 PM


When my sister moved across the country last year, she left me a growing HULK toy with a card signed something like “…and may our love grow like the mighty Hulk”
I’ve been fascinated by growing water toys since I was a kid, dinosaurs specifically- anyone remember Gro-Beasts? Those were the best.
I’d love to know where I can find a KONG, I had no idea they even made one, but now I must have it.

Chestnuts roasted by GloriousKyle @ 07/23/2007 6:09 PM


I can just see Matt trying to imitate Power Ranger villains, shouting the thread’s title, and hurling pencils, soda straws, and Skeletor’s Havoc Staff at Kong and Bumble, trying to speed up the swelling.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/23/2007 6:12 PM


My friend bought me a “Grow Your Own Boyfriend” for Valentine’s Day one year at Hot Topic. Turns out he was as disappointing as the real thing.

I had problems with UPS delivering my Harry Potter book as well. If it hadn’t been for my stepdad I wouldn’t have gotten it at 4PM. Yes, 4PM! It was pathetic; they just chucked it off at the post office. I finished it yesterday and I wrote a blog, with some spoilers, on my Myspace page. I’ve waited to talk about this book for ages and I was pissed to find my cable internet on the fritz all weekend. Now that my cable is up and running I can’t receive messages about my blog seeing as my Myspace message center is down. Apparently it isn’t in my stars to debate HP right now. I have the worst luck ever.

Chestnuts roasted by iAMYou @ 07/23/2007 7:01 PM


BW – check your email :)

Chestnuts roasted by T @ 07/23/2007 7:32 PM


LOL at the boyfriend comment, iAMYou…LJ is running just fine, so you could always share your thoughts on my journal. I’m much more interested in what you guys all thought than some random HP forum members.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 (click for HP discussion with spoilers) @ 07/23/2007 7:41 PM


Monster Squad is finally being released on DVD tommorrow.I can’t wait.

Chestnuts roasted by Son @ 07/23/2007 7:45 PM


600% more Kong and Bumble for a mere $1.99?? Hell of a bargain!!

Chestnuts roasted by Mary Mary @ 07/23/2007 8:58 PM


I’ve got a gnome that grows in the water. :O

Chestnuts roasted by aaa @ 07/23/2007 9:41 PM


Thorzul Your story reminded me of in elementary school when we passed out valentines and some kids handmade valentines. One of them really wanted to make valentines it wasn’t like she couldn’t afford them like some other kids. I still have it someplace and I cherish the valentines I got now more then I did then. The handmade ones were a purple construction paper, glitter, marker filled mess. Awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 07/23/2007 9:43 PM


How’s this for cool, completely unrelated to grow-in-water toy stuff? I’m going with my boss to NJ in August for training. The store we’re going to is… right by Atlantic City! My boss likes to gamble, so I asked if we were going to go. She gave me a look like I was retarded for asking, and said, “Does a bear shit in the woods?” I’m so excited! I have the coolest boss!

Chestnuts roasted by heeree @ 07/23/2007 11:19 PM


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