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Summer Megaparty: Make My Monsters Grow!

Sorry, yesterday was just one of those days, and I didn't feel like making an entry just to say that. I'm also going to blitz through today's entry, as I've stumbled onto enough material for a full-length article and want to get as much of it done this afternoon as possible.


Grow-In-Water toys have really evolved into something special in recent years, expanding in size, color and general awesomeness. Such toys were formerly mundane and almost always generic, but as you can see above, today's options are limitless. Even in their small, original shapes, Humble Bumble and King Kong look so great that I'm halfway tempted to just leave them like that. After all, the exquisite detail work will certainly be diminished once I drop these fuckers in water to swell overnight.

On the other hand, both packages claim that the creatures will grow up to 600% larger if left to drench for 72 hours. Kong is already almost two inches tall, and the thought of owning a sopping wet, foot-long gorilla makes 72 hours sound like a lifetime. In Bumble's case, I just want to see how his individually painted teeth and jarringly blue mouth look after a three-day swim.


There was more than a small part of me wanting to put Kong and Bumble in one single container, as such efforts would surely deliver some kind of mutant, hybrid, Brundlefly-esque monstrosity in the realm of outsider art. But I have far too much love for King Kong and Humble Bumble to subject them to such psychophysical torments.

Various dictionaries tell me that "psychophysical" means "the time required for the mind to transform a sensory impression into a motor impulse," but since it's just so obvious that it should really mean "affecting mind and body." I'm hereby redefining the word and rallying the like-minded to my cause.

When my pals are done growing, I'll show you the results. Meantime, you can grow (ha!) more acquainted with Grow-In-Water toys with my old review of the Gremlins Water Hatchers.

Posted by Matt on 07/23/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 112 comments
1 2 3 … 5

I haven’t thought about grow in water toys in years. My granpa used to bring them for me and my sister all the time (cheap little suckers, though, very flimsy. The cat ate them…)

Chestnuts roasted by Cutie Kitsune @ 07/23/2007 12:23 PM

These seem familiar. Christmas fall-out this year?

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 07/23/2007 12:25 PM

Happiness is a new article, fourth post, and being let off from jury duty at 12:00 so I don’t have to go to work for the day! :-)

Chestnuts roasted by jennyb7 @ 07/23/2007 12:27 PM

I remember these from the X-Mas fallout thread.

Speaking of which did you ever get to try those horribly reviewed grow your own carnivorous plant kits?

Chestnuts roasted by Dr Worm @ 07/23/2007 12:27 PM

Yes, these are from Christmas…finally getting their day to shine. I have not tried out the Carnivorous Plant kits mainly because of the terrible reviews…would rather just pretend that I’m days away from flesh-eating plant fun than find out for sure that I’m not.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/23/2007 12:31 PM

I dont think I can wait 72 hours for the results. please aim a webcam at them so I can monitor their growth.

Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 07/23/2007 12:31 PM

I used to grow various creatures in 2 Litre Pepsi bottles as a kid…then when they were huge and flimsy, we never quite knew what to do with them!

This is really random, but I need some help!

I hooked up my SNES and I have been playing ‘Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past’ for a few days now. I got the 3 pendants and the Master Sword, and now I am trying to get the first crystal…but I cannot figure out how to beat this damn castle! Do I need the hammer to do it? If so, how do I get the hammer? I can’t find it on the mountain…I am kind of in limbo in the game right now and very frustrated!

If nobody remembers this, it’s cool- I just thought it was worth a try to ask. I called my brother but he couldn’t remember.

I feel like I am just waiting for the entire world to be done reading HP7 so I can be free to talk about it!

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 07/23/2007 12:32 PM

Off Topic:
You guys remember how “Lazy Dazy” was made by the company Ideal? Look what I just ran into, check out the top left corner of this intertesting toy (click my name).
Did Ideal make nothing but creepy things?

Chestnuts roasted by sammy @ 07/23/2007 12:38 PM

Muppet Baby,

I agree with you. i don’t know why more people don’t just stay up all night and read the damn thing. I was done by Saturday morning and now my friends all keep saying shhhh. jerks.

Chestnuts roasted by Dr Worm @ 07/23/2007 12:46 PM

At my son’s previous daycare, if he had a “good week” he would get one of these as a reward. Before the figure ever reached full size he would rip the limbs off and I never got to see just how big they could get.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/23/2007 12:48 PM

You don’t really need to put margarine or vaseline (WTF?) on wax paper to shrink these guys back down. Just put them on some paper towels to collect the excess water and wait a day.

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 07/23/2007 12:54 PM

Matt, have you tried out the Test Tube Alien yet? I’m curious but I just can’t buy it for myself.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 07/23/2007 1:03 PM

One of the great joys of being a teacher is that special day right around December 20th, the day before Christmas Vacation (or, as the ridigly non-denominational public school system calls it, Winter Break). On this day young buys and girls from all sides of the poverty line find in in their hearts to bestow a gift upon their teacher. As an inner-city public school teacher I am constantly amazed by the gratitude which I am shown. These families have very little but some find a way to give a gift nonetheless. My favorite presents are the ones that were obviously just picked from around the house. I have gotten knick-knacks of tigers with the ears chipped off, a James Lofton Hall of Fame Bobblehead in a severely damaged box, and a 1/16th scale replica of a Lamborghini Countach.

The reason I bring all of this up has to do with the Grow Bumble. Last December I received a gift from the same line of Rudolph products from a boy in my class. The fact that I can make someone cry by keeping them in from recess and they still want to give me a Blueberry-scented Bumble Chapstick for Christmas makes my head spin Like Matt’s (up until today), mine has not yet been opened. I think it’s in the Christmas Rubbermaid in the basement, but this will only be verified sometime shortly after Thanksgiving.

Chestnuts roasted by Thorzul @ 07/23/2007 1:18 PM

Wow, sammy, that’s a…very unsettling toy.

I feel deprived…I’ve never seen a grow-in-water toy in action. The closest I’ve gotten is one of those dried-out sponges that swell up real fast when you drop them in water.

Chestnuts roasted by Annette @ 07/23/2007 1:22 PM

These remind me of that episode of the Simpsons where Bart has the grow-in-water T-Rex and has visions of it growing into a real T-Rex. So he places it on the drive way, hides around the corner ready with a waterhose, and calls Lisa over and just as she makes it to the T-Rex he pops around the corner and blasts it with water.

Instead of growing into a real T-Rex and eating Lisa, it swells up to maybe a few times its size and floats off down the driveway.

Waste of a post, I know, but I thought that scene was funny.

Speaking of Simpsons, I drove to east Dallas this weekend to visit the Kwik-E-Mart there. I have a blog about it on Myspace (linked in my name) if anybody’s interested.

I can’t wait to see the Bumble full grown.

Matt, you must see if Yukon Cornelius was right, do bumbles bounce?

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 07/23/2007 1:37 PM

I love those things.

Chestnuts roasted by meepy @ 07/23/2007 1:39 PM

Muppet Baby:

Why dont you do a google search or something? Im sure the answer to your Zelda problem is on the internet.

I havent finished reading the book yet. Though I spent a considerable amount of time reading it this weekend, I kept a bit of a semblence of a life. And also, Id rather read, digest, enjoy, read….rather than blazing through it with tired eyes and a sleepy mind. Its not the ending thats important, its the journey. And Im relishing every last minute of it.

Chestnuts roasted by meepy @ 07/23/2007 1:44 PM

They had a couple of these in action up at the craft store a couple of weeks ago. One of them was a “mega” grow turtle, and it sure was massive. I’d never seen one get so large. I think we grew some at school once in a 2-liter bottle.

Chestnuts roasted by Rainbowfeet @ 07/23/2007 2:06 PM

Meepy: I can’t agree more; while I am reading this book faster than than I’ve read one since the first three, it has more to do with the sense of speed in the story rather than finishing it quickly. I want to enjoy every moment of this book that I waited seven years to read! It’s weird to me that just about everyone I know that was so exciting about reading the book has turned reading the thing into some weird race to the finish, as if finishing it first is the prize over reading it and enjoying it.

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 07/23/2007 2:09 PM

Ack, there’s annoying talking ad on this page. Matt, please make it stop.

Chestnuts roasted by Brandon @ 07/23/2007 2:16 PM

I think if HP was just any other old book series coming to an end, I would’ve taken a more “stop and smell the roses” approach to reading it. However, I was SO TERRIFIED that someone would spoil some tiny element, that I read the whole damn thing in one sitting. Well, that and it was really good and compelling and all that jazz. :-)

Muppet Baby, hubby could only talk for a sec and was ridiculously vague, but he said that to get the crystal you have to beat the boss. To beat the boss, you need to find the right key to the right door. You’ll also need arrows to defeat the boss, so make sure you find those.

Keep in mind that I’ve never actually played a Zelda game and am basically just relaying info through hubby. If the directions are wrong or terribly unhelpful, I apologize on his behalf! I’ll try to weasel out more info later tonight when he has time.

Chestnuts roasted by purplegirl247 @ 07/23/2007 2:22 PM

Muppet Baby: try here
http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/snes/file/588436/48367

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 07/23/2007 2:33 PM

Courtesy of: http://mikesrpgcenter.com/zelda3/walkthrough.html

Hyrule Castle
On the west side of Death Mountain, you will find a cave that leads back down.
Enter the Lost Woods and go to the northwest corner. With all three pendants, you’ll be able to take the Master Sword.
When you leave the glade, Zelda will tell you that soldiers are coming to the sanctuary.
Hurry to the Sanctuary. The priest will tell you that soldiers took Zelda to the castle before he passes away.
Enter the castle and climb up onto the walls. Use your sword to break the barrier in front of the door and enter.
Climb up the castle tower to the 7th floor. There you will watch Agahnim send Zelda to the Dark World and the seal of the seven wise men will be broken.
Go to the back of the room and sweep away the curtains with your sword.
You will have to fight Agahnim on the balcony. You can not hurt the wizard directly, but hit the magic he throws at you with your sword to rebound it back to him.
Once you have defeated the wizard, he will draw you into the Dark World.

Palace of Darkness
You will arrive in the Dark World on the top of the pyramid.
Climb down the pyramid and go east toward the Palace of Darkness which is marked on your map.
To get to the Palace, you need to find your way through the hedge maze. There is an arrow on the ground which points toward the entrance. If you look closely at the hedges, you should see the paths through them.
Inside one of the hedges, you will be joined by a monkey named Kiki. Give him 10 Rupees so that he continues to follow you.
When you approach the Palace entrance, Kiki will offer to open it for you for 100 Rupees.
Descend down the stairs on the left to find the key for the center doorway.
In the next room, push the block off the bridge on the right side and follow the block over the side where you will be able to find a key. Step on the teleporter to leave that area.
Return to that room again and place a bomb on the cracked spot on the left bridge. Drop into the hole you created and use the key to open the locked door so that you can get the Big Key.
Return again to the same room and cross the right bridge.
Go to the northeast corner of the level, to the dark room west of the room with the collapsing bridge and bomb a hole in the east wall to get to the chest which holds the Magic Hammer.
In one of the rooms on the right side, a switch will open the door, but as soon as you step off the switch the door will close again. Push the nearest statue onto the button so that the door stays open.
In the room after that, shoot the statue in the eye with an arrow to reveal a new passageway.
Use your hammer on the moles in the basement to get by them.
To kill the turtles, hit the floor with the hammer near one and they will flip over. Hit them again with the hammer or with your sword while they are on their back to kill them.
When you get to the boss, hit his mask several times with the hammer to destroy it. Once his mask is off, you can kill him with your sword.
After the boss has been defeated, you will receive a crystal with the first maiden trapped inside. She will tell you the locations of the other girls.

I still replay the game every now and then, but I figured the directions needed to be more direct than I could relate my own darn self.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/23/2007 2:41 PM

Damn school. I could have answered that question. :evil:

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/23/2007 2:49 PM

I just had an idea. Holy shit. Grow in water deformed fetuses, you put the thing in a mason jar and let it swell and then bam a pickled punk, leave it sealed and on the shelf for a creepy display, alot easier than getting a hold of a real two headed baby and probably easier to transport. Holy shit… I’m gonna be a millionaire.

Chestnuts roasted by vanbilderass @ 07/23/2007 3:19 PM

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