X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

07/19/2007: Summer Megaparty: Goodbye, Fair Cap’n.

You know, I hate to sound like a broken record about this stuff, especially because it’s done with the right intentions. But come on…

“Limiting Ads of Junk Food to Children.”

The basic gist of the story is that a whole load of food companies are altering or outright ending decades-spanning ad campaigns because kids are getting too fat by eating their stuff. And I understand the “epidemic,” I really do. I’ve been to seminars via work where people have spoken at length about how true it is and about how it can’t all be written off as “fanatical watchdogs getting their way,” but to deprive the world of Cap’n Crunch commercials? I would rather every child on this planet be a perfectly round ball of sick than see them grow up in a society that disallows the continuing animated adventures of a pirate who maintains peace, prosperity and crunchiness against a horde of milky monsters with Scut Farkus eyeballs.

I’m not kidding: They’re killing off Cap’n Crunch. He’ll still be on the boxes, but without those commercials, he’s only as good as that eyepatch-wearing seal on the generic brand’s packaging.

Worse yet, the movement is now extending to the Internet. That was these companies’ collective ace in the hole. To a degree, it didn’t matter how much shit the TV-version of Sonny had to deal with, because he’d still be able to create virtual ball pits out of Cocoa Puffs online. What are kids going to do with their Sunday mornings if they’re not getting codes on cereal boxes to enter online for a chance to play riffs on “Asteroids” with cereal pieces in place of comets? What, are they supposed to go outside? Come on.

Oh well. I’m not going to lose sleep over it, because finding out that there will be no more Cap’n Crunch commercials just ain’t that important in the grand scheme of life. But I’m certainly glad to do my part to preserve the memories of what’s now “what was.”

With that in mind, click here to watch an old Peanut Butter Crunch commercial, starring our now-banned pal. Shed a tear. Eat celery.

I thought they were still keeping most of the Kellogg and Post cereal kid commercials but gearing them more like the McDonalds adds. You know, Diggem Frog doing push ups and shit. That is what the NY Times said a few months ago.
Then again, they already killed off the cop and dog from Cookie Crisp for some dumb wolf. These are the people who kill Christmas.

The level of the scale-backs keeps increasing, and will probably continue to increase.

I guess it is like the mid 70’s when they decided that crushed lollipop should be left out of the most important meal of the day.

wow i thought bein called cap’n instead of captain was cool enough, now being a banned cap’n…now thats Ball’n

That sux. Well, on a good note my business just got Blenheim’s gingerale back in stock. I live in South Carolina and I am the Director of Theater Operations for an art movie house. Blenheim’s is a big deal down here. Does anyone know what this is? Oh by the way, i’ve been coming to this website for YEARS and have never posted. Holla!

The quickies I linked at the end of the last thread need /index.shtml on them. My bad.

Ryane: Yes, the date in Trace Memory is based off your birthday in the DS memory.

being impressionable was my excuse for not listening to my parents..and instead to the plight of milk ravished (untimely) cereal. And following the heroic adventures of the Cap’n provided my first insights in non-conformity. there wasnt a 9 to 5 in all the world that could tear the Cap’n away from safeguarding my breakfast.. yargh!

We can only hope this ban is a fad which will pass away, much like the blue drink ban.

Dude, for real? I think “they” should track the obesity levels of children once poor old Cap’n’ is sent out to pasture, and then once they realized that it doesn’t make one goddamded bit of difference, they should hall his ass out of retirement and throw the sweet commercials back on!

I don’t feel much of a loss, personally. I would eat Cap’n Crunch, but it was never one of my favorites. Considering the content and general attitude of this site, I feel I may have committed an act of sacrilege for the sake of truth.

Man, I’m sad about the Cap’n… First, the Cookie Crisp thing, Sugar Smacks turning into HONEY Smacks, now this…

Knegative - awww, that’s a bummer. I thought I was special.

But thanks for letting me know! Oh yeah, and I’m completely stuck already… I have a gear and don’t know where to put it. I’ve used the metal brush and checked everything out, but, there’s just nowhere to go. Any help?

Ridiculous. The parents today should be held responsible for their children’s weight and no one else. Advertisement has just about as much to do with your child’s current weight as the latest band has to do with school shootings… fuck all. When will this blame someone (or something) else attitude cease? Get your fatass child off his ass and put him on a hockey team. After that leave old Cap’n alone.

This is getting out of control. My childhood diet consisted of almost nothing but junk food and I was never overweight. That’s because I would go outside and ride a bike, or dance to Prince in my bedroom. If anything I was too skinny. You can’t blame obesity on the food alone.

A lot of the blame should be placed on the shoulders of lazy parents that would rather stuff their children with McDonald’s rather than a well balanced meal. My family had home cooked meals almost every evening, and fast food was reserved as weekend treats. If you let your child eat poorly and never make them leave the comfort of their video games what should a parent expect? It’s all about moderation. All these “bad” foods they keep harping about have been around forever and not every decade was plagued with obesity problems.

This makes me not want to have children. This generation is suffering so much. With Disney Radio, Paris Hilton being a “role model” for young girls, artificial fake everything. I thought they were on top of things with the reduced sugar alternatives to the cereal they released.

And it seems like you have to mail away for goodies cereal wise anymore you don’t get them in the box. And if you do get it in the box it’s a cd rom, not an actual TOY. And I think the problem is when a kid goes out and plays they are actually learning something. If they are inside watching a cartoon (even though some tv is good for kids) your not learning anything and your vicariously living through someone else.

I didn’t have a lot of friends as a kid so I sat at home watching tv a lot. Sucks now because tv became so important to me. Sure if I had money I would go out, but I have actually gotten really upset if I missed a show. A little too upset. I’m blaming my grandparents for that one not tv and the media lol. But hey go down to the lake kids! Go fishing!! Pretend and be imaginative! The imagination helps you in so many other subjects. That is why music in schools is so important. But I degress.

You know why so many kids are overweight? Because raising kids is expensive, and Little Debbies are a lot cheaper than fruit. Nuff said.

the worst part about this whole mess…. it’s not the cereal! Get your kid off their ass and go outside. That we need a commercial with Shrek and pals telling kids to go outside and play “for just an hour a day” is absurd. Talk about some depressing thursday evening news.

Lol. I just did that a little while ago, Ryane. I’ll give you this hint. Go back to a place you couldn’t get into before. Taking a pic of the rusty plate might be a good idea as well.

I don’t use strategy guides for Adventure games because that really does ruin the entire experience, as opposed to RPGs where the goal is completion and they are willfully making stuff impossible to do on your own, so they can sell guides. It’s TRUE.

I’ve been wanting to get back into the Adventure genre because I really enjoyed it back in the NES days. Deja Vu, Uninvited, and the like. Ashley’s really cool so far. I don’t normally like when they do self-referential stuff like USING A DS IN A DS GAME, but it’s okay.

I hate FF Tactics Advance, because the characters are reading a book called Final Fantasy. What, is Square 311 now? Have to drop their own name?

Parents today suck. Take some responsibility and don’t let your kids get fat. Don’t blame big companies because your kid can’t get its fat ass out the door and play.

This issue is bigger than not putting commercials on the air/internet. This is the decline of the human race.

As a memorial, I suggest readers listing the best prizes they pulled out of a box of Cap’n Crunch.

Mine: I actually have two. One was a small treasure chest. I think it may have been part of some sort of $1,000,000 contest that I obviously didn’t win.
The other was a two-inch PVC Soggie action figure. If I remember correctly, it glowed in the dark. I also had the Cap’n himself, who was better for throwing at my Zendo figures, evinced by the massive amount of paint missing from his front, making him nearly unrecognizable.

Surely it’s the Cap’n’s fault that kids are fat, right? Right? I mean, you can expect parental rule to compete with cartoons.
I know we’ve hashed and rehashed the whole parental responsibility thing, but I have to share this. I was at the zoo with my friends and their well-behaved children. We were walking under the brand-new underwater polar bear tunnel and in walks a 9-year-old kid with one of those souvenir cup’s straws. The kind that give that high-pitched whistle once out of the drink. As he piped away at it, the mom smiled at us and said “Sorry - I’d take it away if I could!” and gave a you-know-what-I-mean laugh.
I’m sure that Cap’n Crunch is making her kid fat, too.

i haven’t seen a commercial for tasty kids type food in like a couple years. there are no more commercials for fruit roll ups, sugary cereals, or hostess anything. does anyone else remember the vultures running into the truck or car or van or whatever, cause they thought it was a twinkie. i’m not overweight, but my brother is. i’ve seen the difference in a generation, and it’s not like my mom isn’t responsible it’s just they stress far too much on playing video games, where as I even at 20 still want to go to the zoo and walk around.

sorry i meant stress to much on video games and technology, it just is really the only popular thing anymore that kids too, it’s the cool thing. there is no playing outside, there is no neighborhood social networking, its facebook and myspace now.

haha kneg hmm maybe I should switch to a more non first name initialized identity on this fair site…would probably stop the confusion. (if any)

Eating healthy is relatively cheap, if you buy only the basics. For awhile I was at Whole Food’s buying all the overpriced organic and gmo free foods I could. But seriously, milk, eggs, meat, fruits and veggies. Just buying those isn’t bad at all. Oh, and cereal. We eat alot of cereal at my house. It’s my son’s “treat”.
From experience it is MUCH easier to give in to your child’s whining for candy and soda than to hand them a carrot stick. But if most of what you buy and keep at home is healthy, that’s what they’ll eat. My son get’s stoked about a bowl of Apple jacks, cause that’s what he gets if he eats his veggies all gone. It’s such a simple concept I have a hard time realizing the problem some parents deal with. I assume it has to do with the parents wanting to keep the junk in their home so they can eat it as well. I am not trying to be self righeous here, it’s just how I feel.

I had a feeling that FOB danny was lower-case and w/o the J. Then I remembered that during the F13 allnighter Danny forgot his J and how easy it would be for him to forget to capitalize his name.

I’m always fascinated by the people who post with regular names. Especially those who’ll do both first and last name. This is the internet people, get your superhero secret identity on.

there a new name for a different danny, i will now be known as FOB danny, primarily for you kneg so you don’t get discombobulated again.

Jessica Marie
I would’ve told that bitch, “You have two hands.”
That or “Well, how about I take it away.”

Seriously, the only way to combat retards like that is to be utterly rude to them. It’s okay as long as you do it with a smile!

But fret not, for I am confident that THIS Cap’n Crunch (click my name) will be able to summon him back from the abyss with the use of a mere whistle. I hope. Or not.

Who’s gonna beat those Soggies now? What a crock of bullshit! Kids are going to have to buy twinkees on the black market with the way things are going…but seriously what’s next? Age restrictions on junk food? Junk Food being placed in a “back room” a la the porn section at the movie store? Its this kinda of censorship that makes me sad…

I hate when people are blame the system for overweight kids. It is a multi-directional fault. I think more parents pawn off their responsibilities because it is easy to do so. The one thing I can’t stand is when people talk down to people or kids who have a weight problem. You think they are oblivious to this? It’s the one vulnerability that people can see. I think successful parenting is when you can have kids that are healthy and happy with who they are, not what they look like.
I used to work for the fitness industry out of college and I have seen some fucked up things and people.

I think there was an entire summer growing up where I had Micro Magic fries and Chef Boyardee ravioli cups for lunch every single day. And yet, today I am of a normal BMI and eat pretty healthy.

Honestly, you should never deprive a kid of his cravings. Just teach them how to satisfy it without going overboard.

(this comes from a girl who eagerly looks forward to her bagel with cream cheese every Friday)

Heh you would be surprised how many people like it and how many hate it. Never met anyone on XBOX Live who didn’t crack up from reading it though.

At the local produce place for $20 I can FILL a cart full of fruits and veggies, they’re just expensive at the big chain grocery stores. Look for farmers markets or food co-ops. Eating health can be 10x cheaper than eating convenience foods.

i have not heard it because yellowcard has let me down before, they’re really good and then not so good. you should check out the new straylight run, it’s really really good.

If you’re talking about Lights and Sounds (which you have to be, since all the rest of the Ryan Key-led albums are perfect, IMHO) then you’ll be pleasantly surprised. They are back on track.

To end all of this I shall slowly phase out Danny J. … after all danny was here before me and yea.

This kind of garbage just breaks my heart. My only consolation is that someone mentioned the Kraken.

Crap, the system just ate my post. It’s past my bedtime, so I’m going to repeat the salient points in the form of a bulleted list. Mentally insert all the florid pose that should accompany it.

*Recently, my dad and I directly compared the labels of my Cinnamon Toast Crunch and his organic granola cereal. The granola has more sugar and practically none of the vitamins of my fortified, “sugary” cereal. In fact, the only advantage his had over mine was in the area of dietary fiber. In every other nutritional category, the granola was either equal or inferior to Cinnamon Toast Crunch. So let your kids pick their own cereal, and use that as leverage to make them eat more green leafy vegetables to make up for the fiber hit.

*Ignore everything the front of the box says, and concentrate solely on the little white label on the side. “Low fat,” “low calorie” and especially “only x y’s per serving” are all fairy tale sigils which bear only a nodding acquaintance with reality. “Organic” is largely a matter for the philosophers, rather than the nutritionists, and so I leave it be for now.

So basically the only cereal icons left are the Cheerios bee and the talking frosted mini wheat (does he even have a name?)

Which makes me wonder, Matt. Why have you never done a piece on Clash of the Titans. Was it not a part of your childhood the way it was mine? Or did the year or two difference in our ages make it too early for you?

I hate hearing about kids getting fatter, and how things should be banned. Whatever happened to the good old days when kids had never ending commercials pretty much forcing them to ask their parents to drive them to the nearest store to buy the latest cereal or toy. Sad days indeed. As if the shows on TV weren’t bad enough, kids today don’t even get to enjoy the extra tid bits of greatness, some of us were blessed enough to see. Let’s get fat.

i was talking about lights and sound, so i’ll take your word for it and check it out. but if it’s bad *shakes fist menacingly* duhhhhhhhh duhhhhhhhhhh.

What is this world coming to? Do we really need to protect our children to this extent? Damn.

In protest I am going to find the nearest elementary school and on the playground leave a package consisting of choco-diles, a few R-rated movies, packages of kool-aid, some candy bars, fireworks, and even a Playboy or two.

On second thought… scratch that whole idea. I don’t want to be known as the guy who put nudie magazines on school property. When I inevitably go to prison for these offenses the other inmates might get the wrong idea.

Anyway… I am glad I grew up in the era that I did. I miss the days of kids running around with water guns that actually look like guns! I miss lawn darts! I miss the idea of a kid going to school and not actually worrying about being shot.

Then again today’s kids have access to the internet where they can view pornography, videos of actual executions, and other things that I never even thought about at that age.

We protect them from cartoon characters peddling cereal, but their friends are showing them midget porn and the Nick Berg video.

Another reason to be happy I’m a child of the 80’s and an only child from a one parent home

I don’t know, Little Debbie snack cakes are pretty darn cheap. Much less expensive than Hostess. In fact I have a box of zebra cakes in my pantry that ran me about a dollar.

You might be right though about the local farmer’s markets. The big mega-marts might mark up produce higher than they need to. In fact my girl was just mentioning that there is a local farmer’s market where we live that is open only on Tuesday mornings. Typically we would both be at work during that time. Thankfully for the next couple of weeks we will both be free. I’m looking forward to checking it out and comparing the prices to our local stores.

However, all-in-all, I would have to say that eating unhealthy foods is quicker and cheaper. That is why obesity is so widespread among the poor (and lazy). I’m not saying I’m above any of that. I tend to eat a lot of junk that I know I shouldn’t. Because of that I know I could be a lot healthier if I took the time to do it.

I think that as parents have become busier, through their own actions, they have dedicated less time to preparing healthy foods for themselves and their children. It is something they can easily alter with a few lifestyle changes, but that is something that people are not quick to do.

Parents who turn their attentions everywhere except their children are typically the ones who raise kids in poor health. I really hope I do better when I have children. I’m not saying it is easy… just that I hope to be more cognizant of the problem.

Knegative - Thank you soooo much! I’m such an idiot… I don’t know why but I never examined that panel by the gate. I’m sure I’ll have more moments like this in the future.

being in that range of soon to be married and have kids… as are all of us who grew up with saturday morning cartoons, tasty cereals, and twinkie the kid… one would think there would be a backlash to this culture ban at some point….

Lame. Of all the things to get upset about… It’s not like kids are going to magically forget about the cereal if the mascot isn’t on TV anymore.

Damn, what a great discussion!
Alright, it seems the more I think about this, the more upset I’m getting. Those commercials were pretty damn fun…where he’d like ride down the highway in his ship.

Good times. Maybe he’s “Still Ball’n” after all thoughcrisechavez…”duh-d-duh-d-duh”.
And at least I’ve got the bobblehead.

Thorzul I’m gonna have to say the Cap’n Crunch Crazy Bones, even if they didn’t fit in with any others.

In the same vein as Joker, he’s not fucking Joe Camel. And in regards to that, aren’t more people smoking today than ever before? Just about everyone I know does, and we’re the generation that had to learn about all 4000 chemicals in them in elementary school

(I can’t say if we were the first, or relative first to learn this in school, but I could believe it..and this might be kinda different, since I don’t know how many 6 year-olds ever smoked)

In any case, kb’s post seemed to sum it up “if most of what you buy and keep at home is healthy, that’s what they’ll eat.”. So simple, yet so profound.

On another note, Knegative, Tactics Advance? Pffth, the Playstation versions (essentially) where its at. Though the wikipedia article on the GBA one is making it sound better than I’d heard. Maybe I’ll give it a try, cause I haven’t actually played it :D. And have you seen that cosplay video of the guy as Kefka? Over the top, so good . Link in the name.
…way too long a post

Well, we’ll probably see the end of some very long-lived brands in the next year or two, because the sense I get from all of the press is that many of these kid-targeted foods are just causing the companies more problems than they’re worth. An example would be the number of companies who are currently spending as much or more on television campaigns that do nothing to advertise their products, instead being devoted to telling kids to exercise to be active or play outdoors or whatever. Sometimes, you don’t even know that they’re paying for them…but they are. And it’s dumb.

Cotter: Yes, but it would appear that the new one decided to make the vampire look more hideous and cool.

Yeah, I’ve seen the cosplay Kefka. It’s worth a chuckle. Kefka pwns Sephiroth, etc.,etc. Sorry, Ryane! I was stupid enough to think that Advance was a port of the PSX game (I had been gone from the series for a couple years, sue me) and I’m like wait a minute, a kid trying to fit in, in a new town?!?!? Ivalice is a war-torn nation, not a kiddy drama. Anyway….

Really looking forward to Halloween this year. I’m off to go watch The Thing. The Carpenter version of course. Goodnight.

Does anyone work in the film industry or know how screen plays get to the stage of production? I just watched Astronaut Farmer because I liked the plot. It is about following a dream, no matter what it is. It would have been great if it wasn’t so horrible. I was wondering who decides this would be good enough to spend $8.50 in the theatre without someone having an episode in their seat. There were so many non-subtle political themes I swear the average IQ to watch this and not see that must be in the high 60’s.

Jedoc,
Loved your comparison of the Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I’m gonna go out and buy some soon.
Thinking about it reminded me of one of their commercials, one that had the line, “Cinnamon and sugar, we’re baking up a bunch. It’s got homemade crunch.” I actually had the coolest babysitter when I was little who would change the lyrics to “Cinnamon and sugar we’re baking up a booger.”
Hysterical when you’re seven!

Currently watching Tales from the Darkside: The Movie. This definitely has more of a Creepshow vibe than I remembered, especially with the heavy colored lighting in some scenes.

It also has William Hickey in it. My absolute favorite “old guy” when I was growing up. That fella was hilarious.

If you have trouble remembering who William Hickey was, think of “Uncle Lewis” in Christmas Vacation and he also played the old guy in Forget Paris.

*fun fact* In college I almost created a horror-themed website that would have been hosted by a fictitious character named “Cleveland” that was modeled after William Hickey. The character would mostly have sat in his big brown leather chair, sipped snifters of brandy, smoked cigars, and barked orders to his two nephews who dropped by occasionally to care for him. The two nephews of course would have been caricatures of myself and my friend Thomas, who would have been the actual operators of the site.

Magic Toy: I reviewed that one. Love it. The freakout at the end with the…wait, I won’t spoil. But the best is yet to come.

Bill: Just know the process sucks. I have friends that work in the business that work on movies that they know, even while making them, that they may never get released to anything other than video, if even that.

There are so many bad movies being made that you’d think common logic would be that someone at some point while making it has to stop and say, “guys this really sucks”.

But to answer your question: it’s all a matter of money. Most movies that aren’t made by major studios are made by smaller companies and then bought for distribution. That’s why most of these ‘indi’ films are sometimes better, as the creators are more in control during the creative process. The larger studio movies are usually made with the script used as more of a guidepost, with changes being made throughout the process by not only the director, but by the producers and other studio executives. Again, you’d think someone would stop and say, “man, this sucks.” All this input can actually lead to a movie’s ‘final cut’ being nothing like the original version, either for the better or worse. Add to that that many big movies get screened by test groups and then new changes are made; you can see how the process can get really messy. But studios also want to try to make money back, so even bad movies are releases to try to bring in a bit of money, especially if there is a ‘name’ attached.

That’s why the industry is so reliant on franchises and sequels these days; they need the sure hits like Harry Potter, Shrek and Spider-Man to not only pay for the new franchises like Transformers but also to cover the cost of all the horrible movies that will never make their money back. In fact, many in the industry see the theatrical release as the preview to the true money these days: video sales. Filmmakers like Kevin Smith only have a career due not to box office but to decent returns in home video sales. I guarantee you more people have seen “The Astronaut Farmer” on video or PPV than in the actual theaters.

You can actually tell how much faith a studio has in a movie based on it’s release date. Any movie released May-July or November-December is a movie that the studio has faith in. Anything put out August-October or January-April are films that the studio hopes will make money, but are unsure about. It’s sad because some really good movies get released during the down months and get overlooked until later. But I guess it’s better than being a small film coming out against a summer or holiday ‘blockbuster’ no matter how bad that ’sure hit’ turned out to be….

Three cheers for the Nintendo Wii. If kids have to be playing games constantly, it might as well be one that gets them movin’ around a bit. I hear their making heavier controllers to intensify their “workout”.

On a side note, I was just serioulsy menaced by a massive Hobo spider. The fucker came scutling across the floor right at me. I smashed him with a size 10 Chuck Taylor.

Hey, all. I’ve been reading this site for a month or two but this is my first time posting.

Anyways, Double G mentioned earlier that commercials are now telling kids to go and play outside for “just an hour a day.” Seriously? That’s kind of sad! When I was a kid (and this was only in the nineties, not too long ago), it was hard to keep me inside. It was the same with all of my friends… we just wanted to be outside, pretending our bikes were horses or dragons and sticks were swords.

It’s too bad about the commercials. They were kind of fun, and kids will still want sugary cereal whether they see the commercials or not.

I read that article just moments ago! I visited imdb.com sometime during the second story (of the three segments) and wanted to check out the cast list and trivia section. I also decided to look over the message boards and someone there had actually posted a link to your article! As soon as I saw the x-entertainment.com address I knew I had to read it. Very nice.

I’m now checking out parts of the movie with the director’s (and Romero’s) commentary on.

I had seen this film already long ago… but I had forgotten most everything except the “wrap around” story. I did also remember the gargoyle… but only after I gotten the chance to see it again.

You’re are correct, the ending is very good. It would have been fun to be the FX guy that got to make the full body cast of Rae Dawn Chong.

Every time I see her though I can’t help but think of her radioing for General Kirby after “all f__ing hell had just broken loose.”

Something else I just noticed during this movie. During the Gargoyle-transformation sequence one of the phases of the gargoyle looks just like the vampire-creatures from From Dusk Till Dawn. If you do a screen capture and compare the face when she(?) replies, “…I can’t”, you will see it is almost a perfect match to one of the bloodsuckers from the Tarantino/Rodriquez film.

After watching Deborah Harry in this I am now in the mood to watch Videodrome again.

Hello, everyone! This news about Capn. Crunch is very upsetting, not to mention a bad indication of things to come. It just isn’t a good time for cereals.

The Soggies have won. So has “Mrs. Horn, my math teacher, only she’s EIGHTY FEET TALL!”

I feel great sorrow for the children of today… These campaigns are decades old, they say. So why are they only trying to change them NOW? Why not when the children that were around during the last few decades were overweight? Oh, right. Because parents today suck.

After going back and reading the Tales from the Darkside: The Movie review I see that just prior to that you also did write-ups for House and Critters.

This is weird, but I got all three of those movies in the mail today. Well, along with Critters II: The Main Course and The Hills Have Eyes 2.

When I was a kid the character of the young boy, Brad (?), in Critters was my idol. I think he was played by Scott Grimes. This was mostly due to the fact that he actually owned a sling shot, blew things up with fireworks, and got yelled at by his parents. We had a lot in common.

I must agree. I am by no means a religious person, but this very well could be the end of the world. I will only slow it by consuming vast amounts of unhealthy food, showing others how happy i am in doing so to rebel against a god who allows us to be deprived of happy meals, sugar cereals and candy bars. If their ideas of a good world is one of high fiber, low sugar cereals where hamburgers are the devil, then allow me to be the first one to walk straight into hell where i can double high five Count Chocula and Boo Berry, and smile at the Cap’n while knowing i made the right choice. Because screw a heaven full of 100% Bran.

I don’t know if this was already mentioned, so I will go ahead and try to make my point. I wouldn’t put too much stock in this whole ‘plan’ by the cereal companies. My whole problem with this in the first place was the definition being “bad cereals contain sugar.” By this definition, something like Cocoa Puffs is safe, while something like Fruit and Fibre (with 16 grams of sugar in it) is banned. My love for Cocoa Puffs and all things Sonny notwithstanding, that seems a bit, erm, off. I think using sugar as their only barometer seems lazy and just a way for these companies to appear to be doing good - especially in the wake of the General Mills whole grain movement.

Also, the loophole mentioned in the article is a major one. Not advertising on a show geared towards children under 12 won’t deter much. They will still be advertising on these “family” shows as well as shows that attract older audiences. And that will still have an effect on the younger crowd. 6-11 year-olds are watching these shows for the most part and are even more affected by commercials running during these shows as they all aspire to be “older.’

So, I wouldnt worry too much. If anything, this will pump up sales of these cereals as moms will feel more vinidicated in their purchases and will now buy more from these companies because they are being more “responsible.”

All that being said, I think its ridiculous anyways. I love these cereals and always have. And my kid loves them and always has. Rising obesity rates have more to do with an increasing lack of activity rather than an increase in bad food. I ate such crap as a kid…and watched a lot of TV, but I was also forced out every once in a while. Thats the key. So, bring on the Crunch Berries.

As for the granola vs. cinnamon toast crunch, its not JUST the dietary fiber (although that is a HUGE part missing in most everyone’s diet, one of the main causes of that lovely colon cancer). Most “sugary” cereals are made primarily of (suprise) refined sugar with just enough grain/chemicals to hold it together into a shape. This huge spike of sugar in your system raises your insulin levels, triggering your body to convert almost all calories consumed directly to stored fat. Eating the granola (Btw- your dad should try one of the low-sugar, low-fat varieties - however granola is generally known for being high in both fat and calories) which is a complex carbohydrate will provide a more even release of energy over a much longer period of time , so no “sugar crash”, plus that fiber will help both your cholesterol and your blood sugar levels, as well as leaving you feeling much fuller.

sorry for the long winded post, I am a dietetics student so its finally a topic here i am somewhat knowledgeable on heheh…

As for healthy being more expensive that convenient, i must still disagree. When i used to eat “Anything” (when i weighed around 300 lbs), my grocery bill was around $300-350 every 2 weeks. Now its around $100 for 2 weeks. I buy big bags of brown rice, beans, potatoes and such, cook off all of it at once , then freeze it all into meal-sized portions in ziploc baggies. Then whenever I want something fast and healthy, I can put together a very healthy meal for 2 in about 5 minutes, where everything is cooked from scratch, no added chemicals or preservatives, and now i weight around 200 (an im 6′3 so thats not too bad). I do sacrifice a few hours one day every 2 weeks to do the cooking, but other than that…. Its amazing how much better you feel once you cut out all the fast food and sugar/chips….

I think the real reason for the rise in obesity is sheer parental ignorance to the subject. Life has become complicated, and at least in the area I live in (Detroit suburbs) most older people are quite a bit overweight. Kids tend to emulate their parents. Parents feel guilty for not spending time with their kids because in most families around here both parents have to work to afford the $400,000 house… So they let their kids eat/have whatever they want. Even IF ipods and cellphones and dvd players existed when I was 12, my parents wouldn’t be buying me all that crap. I am kind of scared to see what these future generations hold with the kids raised on internet porn, illegally downloading music for their ipods and the retarded ass cartoons kids watch these days.

“Food companies, concluding that the issue would not go away and fearing the kind of government scrutiny given to tobacco companies, started trying to police themselves.

Kraft was an early leader. In January 2005, the company said it would stop advertising products like Oreos, Chips Ahoy and most Oscar Mayer Lunchables on programs aimed at children ages 6 to 11. ”

Those two sentences become kind of hilarious when you remember that Kraft is owned by Philip Morris.

The soggies are coming, the soggies are coming. This is all a conspiracy to make my cereal soggy in milk. Save us Capt’n!

he’s only as good as that eyepatch-wearing seal on the generic brand’s packaging
That might not be such a bad thing.

I feel sorry for future generations. Although quite delicious, Cookie Crisp wasn’t one of my favorites, but I love thinking back to watching Wild N Crazy Kids and Salute Your Shorts and seeing Cookie Crisp (and the like) commercials.

I know these commercials weren’t designed to burn a nostalgic hole in my heart, but they did, now what are kids supposed to look back and smile on?

Long time reader, first time writer. I’m a little indifferent on this issue. on one hand it’s not the characters that are making children fat, but the way things are advertised now a days doesn’t help.

Companies know that children are attracted to very bright colors and cartoon characters. Stores place all the sugary cereals and cookies and junk at eye level with the children, because those companies pay them to.

I was pretty fat growing up, and it was not easy. When I have children I am going to do everything in my power to make sure they are not. If everything they see is shitty food, thats what they are going to want. It’s like what Morgan Spurlock was saying in Supersize Me, if people were to market fruit like they market McDonald’s, it would be a very different world.

slim goodbody: Oooh, right enough. I hadn’t considered that aspect. I suppose I’ll have to go back to eating my bowls of candy for breakfast without the moral high ground.

Didn’t get to finish reading all the comments, but this kidn of nonsense pisses me off.

So like someone else said, it’s okay to have our kids watch soft core porn on MTV, the internet and in video games. It’s okay to have them idolize the garbage cans that are Paris Hilton and 50 Cent. It’s okay that they grow up to be underage sluts and womanizing, misogynistic, violent morons, just as long as they’re not overweight?

My question is, just how much cereal does a kid have to eat to be overweight? I think the Grade D meat they serve at fast food joints contributes alot more to obesity than a bowl of fucking sugar. Shit, the MILK probably does more damage, in terms of weight gain.

I grew up watching the same commercials eating the same foods, and I’m not overweight. Why? Because my parents gave a fuck about me and paid attention to what I was doing.

I love how easily parents can pass off the fact that many of them aren’t ready to be parents in this country.

I understand your annoyance Darth Galvatron and who ever else said it (which I’m having problems finding as I haven’t read every comment) but creating straw man arguements isn’t really a help. If you want advocates, in the media no less, against each of those things you listed whom don’t feel that they are “okay”, you would not hardpressed to find them. Probably quite a few of them are the same people who pushed for this to happen I would bet.

What I don’t understand about all this is, is that every single one of the advocates that preach that all our favorite cereals are bad for us grew up on either eating it or watching the commercials. By there own logic they should all be giant butterballs. Thing is there not and a lot of us aren’t.

Then there is the idea that TV execs are upset that we are not watching commercials via tivo and the like. I skip many a commercial now, do they think I’m more likely to stop and watch swifter or detergent ads more now? Hell no. Essentially all these companies have pulled there money for many a program the result is they are going to get even more pissy about it.
My guess this is all going to backlash in a ugly way at some point.

I didn’t know kids where going out and buying the cereal… I always thought that the parents were the ones that do the grocery shopping.

This just hit me. No more Christmas Crunch or Christmas Fruity Pebbles commercials. Mother F#cker!

I haven’t seen a Cap’n commercial in like 5 years at least is this really that big of a deal?

May I address the inverse? Ads for junk food that need to be booted. The ads, I mean, not the food. The cracked-out Starburst campaign, I think, are being written by people tapping into their nightmares. Singing rabbits, man-milk, kids falling to their death from rainbows, -the hell? Some of this stuff makes Quixno’s borrowing of the Songmonkeys from Rathergood.com seem more and more like a romp in a glen. Then, of course they had the “Man Raised by Wolves” thing going on after. I’m almost thinking Melting Grimace wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
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almost.

I feel sorry for most kids. They aren’t the ones driving themselves to McDonalds, or buying snack cakes and chips for school lunches. Parents today are having kids too young, and are working too much to compensate for the shitty capitalist realities of today- leaving kids too much time alone on the internet, and not enough time playing catch with Dad, or riding bikes with Mom.

Plus, I agree with Mystie- It was WAY more expensive to eat healthy. I have friends who are unable to buy meat and vegetables. Do you know how much a bag of apples are compared to a box of Little Debbies? It is easier, faster and cheaper to make a box of KD as opposed to cooking something from scratch that costs more.

Oh, fucking hell. If parents would just make their kids get off their asses once in a while, this wouldn’t even be an issue! Jesus, why don’t they use all this time and effort to maybe teach people how to be better parents instead of doing things like this?

Personally, I think people should have the option to go through parenting classes either when they first get married or when they’re expecting their first child. They have free marriage counseling, so why not do this too? It’d be a lot more productive in the long run.

First of all, I have a question for you all. Do you think that kids aren’t as eager to go outside anymore because it’s not as kid friendly as it was? Today’s housing developments have little to no yards to play in (so they can cram more houses on the same real estate). The streets are so busy that it isn’t really safe to ride your bike. If I had a kid, I don’t know what I’d tell them to go outside and do.

Jessica Marie’s story is the perfect example of the parent crying foul. “If the kids see the bright colors and cartoon characters, that’s what they’ll want to eat.” Um…OK. Does that mean they get to? You know, I wanted all those sugary cereals too. Dad brought home Crispix, so we ate Crispix. Did nine year olds start doing the family shopping and I missed it? By the way, the reason I wanted sugary cereals had nothing to do with the mascots. I wanted them because they were fruity or chocolaty or were supposed to be like a whole bowl of tiny cookies. If putting the Sparkle Bear (or whatever he was) on Crest for Kids didn’t make kids want to brush their teeth, how can they think a similar mascot is responsible for making kids want junk food. In a case like this, it’s all about the product, not the merchandising.

I have to say, I still think eating healthier is more expensive. A trip down the “health food” aisle is a good example. But, that aside, I’ve had experience with this. I totally revamped our diet last year when we decided to start trying for a family. I started buying fresh ingredients and making everything from scratch using recipes from the AHA cookbook. Then, when I had to have the surgery/tests and the medical bills started piling up, I had to take some drastic measures for a while. I went back to Hamburger Helper, hot dogs, mac & cheese…all the cheap death foods. I more than cut my grocery bill in half by buying the sodium-filled, pre-packaged foods. Saying that eating healthier is cheaper because you’re not buying as many snacks isn’t a fair comparison. Another issue is that the healthier versions of regular products tend to only be sold in smaller containers (this isn’t always the case, but I see it frequently.) If I want reduced fat peanut butter, for example, I can’t buy the cost-effective big jar. I have to buy the small jar, the only size the “reduced fat” comes in. For families where every penny counts, that’s an issue.

By the way, in a carryover from the last post, here’s why I hate the 90’s. I started middle school in 1990, which essentially means I left my childhood in the 80’s. Once the last bit of the 80’s was rung out of the decade, it was all about grunge and punk and teenagers being depressed for no reason. Even when alternative came along, it wasn’t upbeat and optimistic. Everything about the 90’s reminds me of teenage angst. I guess my view is probably tainted by the age I was during the decade and my own personal experiences. There was some good music, but even the music tended to skew dark and depressing or loud and angry. Again, where was all the negative energy coming from? Well, there was also all that R&B coming into vogue that was sex, sex, sex, sex. Not my cup of tea. I hated middle school and high school and everything about the 90’s reminds me of trying to get through those years. Oh, and I agree the 00’s are way worse. I never claimed otherwise.

OK so we ban the Cap’n and our kids will not get fat? Whew…crisis averted. Now all we have to do is ban Disney animated movies like the Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and so on because those movies encourage teenage marriage. Some encourage teenage pregnancy to go along with that teenage marriage (i.e. The Little Mermaid sequel). Then while we are at it lets take down the Shrek empire for encouraging inter-species mating.

Oh the list goes on and on…let us cleanse the world of its many evils so we may all be pure and perfect in the eyes of the watch dogs once again. Thank you great watchers for pointing out the Cap’n as a great evil, how will we ever be able to thank you enough.

Where do I sign up for the video game burning session? nintendo - sega - microsoft…you are next!

Psst….any word on Manimal, Mommymal or Minimal yet? I haven’t had a chance to get through the last post so forgive me if I missed it.

This is a good thing! No more fat little kids running around screaming for sweet things because now —- they won’t know that they exist!
Hoooooray!!!

Kids have always liked to eat junkâ€”whether you advertise that to them or not. It’s encoded in our DNA or something.

I think the bigger problem these days (versus when I grew up in the late 80’s-early 90’s) is that fewer and fewer kids get any exercise. I mean friends and I are our share of garbage and played lots of Bad Dudes and Super Mario 3 but we also got sick of that and rode bikes once in a while.
Getting plenty of exercise is more important than eating organic carrots.

“If the kids see the bright colors and cartoon characters, that’s what they’ll want to eat.” Umâ€¦OK. Does that mean they get to? You know, I wanted all those sugary cereals too. Dad brought home Crispix, so we ate Crispix. Did nine year olds start doing the family shopping and I missed it? By the way, the reason I wanted sugary cereals had nothing to do with the mascots. I wanted them because they were fruity or chocolaty or were supposed to be like a whole bowl of tiny cookies. If putting the Sparkle Bear (or whatever he was) on Crest for Kids didn’t make kids want to brush their teeth, how can they think a similar mascot is responsible for making kids want junk food. In a case like this, it’s all about the product, not the merchandising.

Lori, I’m not sure if you were talking about my post here, but if you were I would like to explain myself. I’m not saying it’s the bright colors and cartoon characters that make kids want the product, I’m talking about the advertising. Those commercials are designed to get kids attention, so they will remember it, and pester mom and dad to buy it. Many parents have to take their kids shopping with them because they have no one to watch them and its easy to give in a buy the stupid cereal or cookies to get them to stop crying. I personally would not take kids shopping but some parents don’t have that luxury. Once the parents buy them the product then the kids taste it and realize how sweet it is they want it more. If the advertising had not been there telling them how good it is, and how every kid should have it, they might not have known what it was in the first place.

Now a lot of blame belongs to the parents also. I never denied thst. However as I said before, if they marketed fruits and vegetables like this things would be a lot better. It’s not only a taste issue either, as there are tons of fruits that are naturally really sweet.

if they marketed fruits and vegetables like this things would be a lot better.

I propose a drawing contest to see who can draw the hippest, gnarliest and most radical mascot for fruits and vegetables ever.

Nick put SpongeBob and Dora on bags of carrots and raisins and things of that nature, and from what I understand, they sold quite well. So it’s totally doable, but I’d say more in a “supplementive” way.

dohopoki I understand what you’re saying, but I’m not straw maning anything. Basically my point was that parents are responsible for what their kids watch AND eat. If you’re going to quote me, then quote the whole thing, it makes more sense. (Not trying to be rude, just saying it would have made my first tirade make more sense int he context of this blog post. =))

I find it ridiculous that they think banning kids cereal commercials is going to cut down on the amount of obese children. Like someone else said, the kids aren’t the ones with the job going out and doing the shopping, the parents are. Once again, it’s a parent’s responsibility to raise their kids, not TV’s and not the government’s.

I think that focusing on banning Cap’n Crunch should take a huge back seat to banning the real danger to a majority of the children in this. Namely, the crap that is readily available to them on TV and to some extent, the internet. If a child gets fat, that curable. However, once they see things on TV, and it’s indelibly imprinted in their minds, that’s a lot harder to shed than a few pounds.

Or maybe I’m just pissed that I’ll never see another Cap’n Crunch commercial. Who knows…?

I really this commercial censorship is due to the hype by journalists who try to find stories that will alarm everyone into believing that Captain Crunch forces kids to become unhealthy. I’ve never seen an 8 year old go grocery shopping. It’s usually an 8 year old with their parent and it is their responsibility to say no and you are getting Fiberwood Yucks instead.
I feel the same way about Joe Camel. Kids start smoking to rebel or because their friends smoke, not because kids like cartoon camels. If anything that should repulse kids wanting to be cool or rebel.
I just love watching independent studies done by local news like “Is your cat molesting you while you sleep? The results may shock you. More at eleven.”

Yeah plus, what kid smokes Camels? Christ, I’ve been smoking forever and those things still bust my throat.

mmmmmm….Turkish tabacco.
I admit, I quit smoking a few years ago and I am now one of those annoying F sticks that will bum a Marbro light after a few beers at the bar. I hate myself for that and all my smoking friends hate it 10 times worse. But…i usually pick up the bar tab so I don’t feel overly that bad.

This really pisses me off to no end. They’re eventually gonna kill off my beloved Halloween cereals and I’ll have no more Boo Berry. I can feel it coming, moving headlong toward my equally assured rage over the loss of Boo Berry, like two massive weather fronts about to collide.

But it gives me a great idea. Based on what I’m hearing in this post it will make a mint. Matt, as an industry insider, you’re the perfect person to help me market this.

I’m going to invent a cereal called “Gluco-Zapz!â„¢” It will contain all of the following ingredients: sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, honey, cereal-grade marshmallows shaped like ninja stars, Pop Rocks, and the full recommended daily allowance of every vitamin and mineral that does not taste like absolute shit. The point is, this stuff won’t just look cool, it’ll be delicious and surprisingly good for you (at least until the diabetes and tooth decay sets in). And most importantly of all, we will never advertise the health benefits of this cereal, NOT EVER. Kids don’t need to know Gluco-Zapz!â„¢ is good for them. That’ll be our little secret.

There will be four flavors of Gluco-Zapz!â„¢, each named after its mascot: Cinna-monsterâ„¢ Madness, RoboBerryâ„¢ Blitz, Choco-Pirateâ„¢ Attack, and Peanut Butter Reaperâ„¢. The marshmallows will, of course, be appropriately shaped and colored for each cereal; tan scythes and brown tombstones for Peanut Butter Reaperâ„¢, neon blue cogs and silver wrenches for RoboBerryâ„¢, you get the idea. Every cereal will have white marshmallow ghosts. Just ’cause.

Not only will the mascots appear in the television commercials, they’ll actually have their own TV series. “The Animated Adventures of Gluco-Zapz!â„¢” will be like the old Looney Tunes and Merry Melodies cartoons; you’ll never know who the star will be. Some shows will feature the never-ending quest of Choco-Pirateâ„¢ in the Haunted Choco-pelagoâ„¢, and his search for the cursed Chocolatiki Idolâ„¢, the one thing in the world that will help him defeat his most dreaded enemy, Captain Thiol of the Asparagus Armada. Some shows will feature team-ups, like the episode where RoboBerryâ„¢ and the Peanut Butter Reaperâ„¢ must put aside their differences in order to disarm Lord Vegan’s arugula-rocket before it destroys Earth. Other shows will feature the 600′ tall Cinna-monsterâ„¢ stomping through Cinn-cinn-ati, crushing skyscrapers and setting people on fire with his mega-hot cinna-breath, while our hero, the mysterious Cinna-Ninjaâ„¢, tries to save the day. That’s right, Cinna-monsterâ„¢ is a villain. What kind of breakfast cereal would have the king-sized, rock hard balls to make a villain its mascot? The answer to your question would be Gluco-Zapz!â„¢, my friends.

And our special edition cereals… oh, sweet lord in heaven, our special edition cereals will be fucking legendary. Gluco-Zapz!â„¢ Christmas and Halloween cereals will each be sold for a minimum of two months, one before and after the holiday is over. No kid will EVER miss getting a box of holiday Gluco-Zapz!. For Valentine’s Day we will put a special comic book in each box, in which we meet the love interest of each mascot. And every holiday will have its own special edition cereal, I don’t care how insignificant. Fucking Arbor Day will have a special marshmallow trees version of the cereal. Every box will be foil embossed and printed in neon colors. Some of them will have lenticular action scenes. And each box will feature a recipe so you can make some seriously weird shit with the cereal. Peanut Butter Reaperâ„¢ Seafood Enchiladas. RoboBerryâ„¢ JalapeÃ±o Meatloaf. Choco-Pirateâ„¢ & Onion Muffins. Cinna-monsterâ„¢ Liver Melt. No one in their right minds will ever eat this stuff, but the recipes, complete with a photo of the dish, will be there nevertheless. Seriously, I’m gonna make these cereal boxes look so cool that you fuckers will volunteer to eat this stuff until you puke.

But the best part is the prizes. There will be a MINIMUM OF THREE PRIZES IN EVERY BOX. One will be a toy, one prize will be candy, and the third prize will light up, glow in the dark, make noises, and/or be spring-powered. Our 4th Of July box will include at least one miniature disposable lighter and a pack of Black Cats. Every Halloween box will have a full sized candy bar. Also, did you ever get a really cool CD-ROM or DVD in a box of cereal? Me either. Software is not a prize; if we ever give software away, it will be in addition to the prizes, not in lieu of one. I will permit no exceptions.

Every box of Gluco-Zapz!â„¢ will be a celebration of life and fun and being a kid. You will tell your grandchildren about Gluco-Zapz!. There’ll be poems and songs.

Todd, that comment wasn’t directly aimed at you, though I can see where you might think that. I must have been subconsciously remembering your post when I typed that sentence. Sorry about that.

You know, our generation had the benefit of marketed fruit. California Raisins, anyone? I say it’s time for a 20th reunion!

They banned cigarette ads off TV, and no one smokes anymore, so I have low hopes for cereal.

Anyway…Even though this “ban” is incredibly stupid on so many levels…A lot of the cereal commercials these days abdolutely suck.

Take Cap’n Crunch’s latest ads. Terrible. “Crunchtize Me” and some lame pirate? Not gonna happen. I doesn’t make me want to get some.

Darth Galvatron I only quoted you on what I was speaking of, which I felt was a straw man arguement because I’ve never heard a parent say “I’m okay with my kid being badly influenced by tv, video games, music, celebrities and the internet as long as they’re not fat, so I’m going to put all my efforts into only pushing food companies into not advertising towards my child.” which was how I took what you said. I meant no hostility and I’m on the side of bad parenting is the problem… at least to an extent.

I completely agree. It’s not like the Cap’n is leaving us. It’s just his lame half-assed cartoon commercials that are. And I for one praise God for that.

Todd, From personal experience there was no buying things to shut us up. Early on, if we carried on, we were taken outside away from the other customers and laid into (verbally) that we do not act that way in public. There was no more carrying on, there was no more begging for toys or cereal. We sat there and shut up will mom went and bought the groceries.. that went for all 5 of us. It’s a lot earlier to shove a bribe down a kids throat than it is to teach them that, that is not the proper way to behave.

not sure where my brain is today… but that should read “while mom…” and “easier to shove…”

dohopoki No hostility felt, or taken. Hopefully I didn’t come off hostile to you, just the morons who make these decisions.

I just think that cereal is the last thing negatively affecting kids, and obese kids are ultimately the fault of the parents, for the most part, since they’re the ones buying the food.

Other than that, I think we all pretty much feel the same way about this piece of news, for the most extent. Which is kind of rare. I think that’s why I like coming here. =)

Looking at this article, it has become abundantly clear that General Mills and all those other companies that are voluntarily cutting back on advertising COULDN’T CARE LESS about children.

Think about it - shouldn’t ceasing child-targeted ads of a child-targeted cereal product be the equivalent of marketing suicide? General Mills is trying to send the message “We recognize that our product is horrible and we are trying to help kids stop buying it because we are a good company”. But really, what kind of screwed-up message is that? “Look Mr. Government! We are trying so hard of our own power to stop selling this horrible children’s food product to our target audience of children, but they just keep asking for it and their parents just keep buying it! Whatever are we to do? We’re really trying hard to keep kids from eating junk, but they keep eating the sugary artificially flavored food-stuff we make. Isn’t that weird?” In other words, killing the Captain is just part of a last ditch effort to keep the government from regulating the super-cheap and unhealthy corn-based, etc. products that go into the child-targeted foods by drawing attention to the ethical aspects of the child-targeted ad campaigns

So, these companies looked at the monetary risk that having to changing their products (or having them forcibly discontinued because they are too high in dangerously unhealthy ingredients) because of new government regulations would have versus the financial impact of ceasing TV commercials with cartoon characters and opted for the latter.

In summary: IF YOUR SNACKS AND CEREALS FOR CHILDREN ARE SO BAD THAT YOU WANT US TO BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL VOLUNTARILY STOP TRYING TO SELL THEM TO YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE, CHANGE THE PRODUCT, NOT THE COMMERCIAL CHARACTERS!

So you’re saying they could’ve removed just a bit of the sugar in the cereal versus jettisoning the Cap’n; that he was just a sacrificial lamb to them? Interesting…

Adora: Remember that a lot of these foods have an unspoken but substantial teen-to-adult market. Many of us still go for the cereals we grew up on. While more people probably change out to something less sugary and colorful as much out of personal taste than health reasons, there’s still a nut to be had in things like Cap’n Crunch, even without the direct marketing to kids.

In the lobby of my work building is this little coffee shop that also sells quick breakfast and lunch meals for employees-in-a-rush. Among them are several small, prepackaged bowls of things like Trix and Lucky Charms. There are no kids in the building, so somebody else is eating that, too.

But to your general point, it’s still pretty nuts that food companies are being forced to treat their “wares” the same way Marlboro has to treat cigarettes.

“[...] [H]ates the way they target children. This is intriguing, because I remember seeing thousands of ‘Just Say No’ advertisements when I was young, and those didn’t seem to take. All those ‘Got Milk?’ ads don’t seem to make people crazy for milk, either. Why is it that the only advertising campaigns that work seem to sell bad things that people actually desire? Isn’t that a weird coincidence?”

Children do not want these stupid cereals because the stupid poorly drawn pirate tells them to eat them. They want them because they are pretty much all sugar and have pretty colors. Kids are fucking stupid, but not that fucking stupid. They want things that they like. Kids like the fucking McDonalds and the fucking Cap’n Crunch. Sure it tastes like shit, but it is good tasting shit to some.

It does not matter how well “good” foods are marketed either. It comes down to taste. There is some appeal to certain cereals until the age of 7, but after that kids want what tastes good. Not celery or vegetable juice (which is loaded with salt) or any other “healthy” alternative. Even those fucking singing raisins sold more swag than food.

And as far as everything else goes these cereals are really not that bad. Look at the numbers on the box. Not too problematic. Kids should be out and about playing and shit. Not on the fucking internet playing capncrunch.com minigames. If only the world was not so scary with all the terrorisms and child abductions and murderers on the news (I was going to pun serial killer, but that is fucking hackish.)

The bigger issue here is that this is for childrens under the age of 12. Now I aint know ’bout you folks, but I at the age of 9 years old was not buying my own cereal or junk food. There was really no way I could. I could stop at the local shithole market and buy stuff if I had money. But I did not. I was fucking 10. I did not have a job or other source of income. My parents was buying the products. A lot of taste is learned behavior. Methinks that some lazy parents–who I am picturing as being quite rotund–want to cheap out and put the blame on someone else.

I guess that in the end this is just another example of my fun being ruined because some asshole will not explain to his or her 8 little moron offspring why junk food is meant to be only a small part of a person’s diet and why advertisements need to be viewed with a bit of [I do not know what word I wanted, so madlib this one].

There is also an issue if one does go the route of using popular characters to sell “healthier” items as one is not really educating healthy lifestyle choices but exploiting blind consumption. You know, like I am buying…oh… Ninja Turtles celery because I am loyal to the characters and branded shit not because I want a lower calorie foodstuff.

You have also got to keep in mind that children’s cereals are a very competitive market–worse is that all cereals are pretty much the same (compare energy and nutrition content). Last time I was at the grocer there was an entire aisle of cereal products there for me to choose. Advertising is one way of developing interest in the product. Of course it is not a way to guarantee a customer if they do not like the product, but even I–an educated consumer–have purchased things for which I have viewed ads.

Your right! I haven’t seen a silly rabbit or a captain crunch on my television screen in god knows how fucking long!

It makes me rather sad =’[ to think that these insanely awesome characters that made breakfast so fun and exciting, are practically gone from pop culture. Sure, as you said, these characters are still advertised on the boxes of cereal, but it’s totally not the same deal.

I want to watch kids chase a little Irish dude for lucky charms! I want to see silly rabbit one day finally get to eat his Trix; I need to see that rainbow beaked bird eat some more cereal!!

it’s quite simple. captain crunch doesn’t make people obese. laziness makes them obese. i’ve never been this outraged since they got rid of Back to the Future at universal orlando

I’m on your sides. On one hand, I’ve long thought my mother babied my brother way too much. (He wasn’t allowed out on his own until he was in his teens…which wasn’t true for me or my sisters.)

On the other hand, my brother is lucky my mom is a) one of the least-lazy people on the planet, and b) a health-food freak who has always encouraged her children to eat well and play lots of sports. She studied nutrition when she taught aerobics during the 80s, and a lot of it stuck. My brother plays football, has played soccer and baseball in the past, and is considering lacrosse…AND is a video game fanatic. He regularly works out in his school gym and is more stacked than some guys twice his age, yet still eats pizza and Doritos with his buddies like any normal 14-year-old.

My mom can be a pain about a lot of things (she’s nagged me about my weight problems since I was nine), but some of her suggestions do make sense. I’ve tried to keep as many fresh fruits and veggies in my apartment as my budget and the season allows, and I buy from a farm market ten minutes away whenever I can during the late spring, summer, and fall. (Not only are they cheaper, but they taste better, too.) Cookies are my addiction, so I try to buy ones that are genuinely low in fat and sugar, like Fig Newtons or the hard gingersnaps many stores sell in the late summer and fall. I love to bake and have been working on ways to eliminate fat and sugar in my cakes and cookies without sacrificing taste. (A tip - applesauce does wonders in replacing shortening and makes cakes moist, too. Also try yogurt.)

Even with a busier schedule than my mom or me, it’s not that hard for parents and children to fit in some exercise. Go for a walk around the block or to a local playground. If you have a backyard, park, or even a vacant lot handy, play catch. Even 10 minutes will work wonders.

Let your kids indulge their cravings…in moderation. Don’t give in when they ask for more than they need. (This goes for adults, too - it’s something I’ve been working on myself lately.)

Blaming the media is taking the easy way out. People ought to look at their own habits, not cartoon characters. I didn’t buy candy bars or make fattening cookies because a cartoon character told me so, I did it because I’d done it all my life, and it was a habit.

07/19/2007: Summer Megaparty: Goodbye, Fair Cap’n.

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