Summer Megaparty: Doritos Collisions!

I’m sick as a dog. Maybe I should bark. I’m not really sure how to define my latest disease; I’m achy and alternating between massive chills and sweating like a mofo, but I don’t have a temperature and I’m not sneezing or anything. Perhaps I’m being punished by a higher power for dodging work all day to catch up on Entourage reruns. Drama, you card.

Fortunately, the woman called on her way home to inform me that I wouldn’t need to stress too hard about today’s blog post, as she picked up two perfect little somethings that are just right to gush about when your soul is only at half-mast. Shake hands with Doritos Collisions!


I’m a little surprised that Doritos would try something this unusual so soon after those X-13D mystery chips, but at least these are palatable for more than their novelty factor.

Summing up the idea, you get two distinct Doritos flavors in each bag. I love how the packaging design is split down the middle, but don’t take that to mean that you’re getting compartmentalized chip flavors — once you rip the bag open, the chips are all mixed together. I was hoping for the chip equivalent of Nintendo Cereal System, but no such luck.

To make sure the two flavors remain distinct even when swimming together, Doritos has picked two pairs of totally non-dilutive flavors. One of the Collisions “sets” includes “Hot Wings” and “Blue Cheese” Doritos, while the other blends “Zesty Taco” with “Chipotle Ranch.” Note that the pairings weren’t arbitrary — the flavors were designed to compliment each other.

The pairings work really well and keep your tastebuds alert. I’ve gotten into the habit of closing my eyes before pulling out each chip, trying to guess the flavors before putting ‘em to my tongue. This is how people stay amused when they’re shut-in losers.

It’s strange to think about all of the random, strange junk food spinoffs to arrive in recent years, especially if you grew up during a time when every arriving flavor was treated like the second coming of Christ. I think that’s mostly due to the fact that watchdogs have “forced” society to cut the balls off of junk food advertising. You’ll rarely see Doritos advertised during children’s programming, and when you finally do catch a commercial, you’re often left wondering why in the fuck Frito Lay would buy time for a Doritos ad during that particular show. So, instead of relying solely on that, they’ve gone viral — the weirder and less coherent a brand is, the more people like me will tell people like you about it.

Doritos Collisions are a neat idea overall. They’re also the only bags of chips that remind me of the Face/Off movie logo.

I want to take…his face…off.

121 thoughts on “Summer Megaparty: Doritos Collisions!

  1. Invader Norbert

    I’m happy for the Potter fans getting their last book. I’m in the Not-Fan area and have absolutely no qualms about revealing spoilers.

    But I am a good X-Er and will not post spoilers here. Save that for Spoiler Thread 2.0.

    I had some speculation of what happens in the last book, but I just posted it on the myspace blog instead.

  2. Goob

    I have to say something…
    Greg What you said I found very rude and self centered. If your on a pc you can click on edit and then find on this page or ctrl F and type in a keyword to skim the page, I use it daily to skim other sites for one particular subject. But this is a give and take blog community, you answer people’s questions and your reward is occasionally getting help with something. I know being a regular in a blog isn’t for everyone, but I suggest you googling “nintendo DS case reviews” and read some reviews or go to amazon.com and read customer reviews on the cases. It would take no more then 10 minutes to read reviews there and solve your problem.

    You can’t be BOTHERED??? What???

    Oh yeah! A comment about spoilers one thanksgiving or christmas I believe my cousin was walking in the door and right when he walked in my Grandad commented about the final score on a Raiders game and my cousin was like be quiet! I recorded it for later! But it was too late. I think he watched it anyway. Mind you my cousin is a HUGE raiders fan almost everytime I see him he has a raiders shirt on.

    Also (I hope this isn’t getting too long it always gets too long and I feel horribly guilty later) when I was 8 I believe, I went to the doctor’s a lot because I was still wetting the bed about 2 times a week or so. My grandparents finally were bothered by it and I had to take a pee test every time I went I just expected it eventually. One time I went for an ultrasound on my bladder and the doctor asked me if I went to the bathroom because he saw my bladder was full and I told him I was expecting to take a pee test and he laughed and told me to go ahead and go to the bathroom I didn’t need to take the pee test. I did and came back he looked again and said whoa you did go to the bathroom you got it all out of there and continued. He said that my bladder was just slightly underdeveloped but other then that he didn’t say anything. I remember he also was pulling down my pants lol and I immediately put my hands on my pants because my gut reaction was he was pulling my pants all the way down but he reassured me he only wanted to have it down so far and he didn’t want to see THAT.

    My Grandad also felt bad because of the doctors and everything so everytime I went to the doctor during that time he stopped by the store and got me some drumstick ice cream cones. Everytime I have one I remember how nice my Grandad was when I had to go to the doctors all the time.

    I also wet the bed every 6 months or so from when I was a teenager until I was 22-23 I haven’t done it for 2 and a half years. Isn’t that weird? I am over it now but I cried everytime I did it because I thought “I am 17 years old and I still wet the bed, you get over this when your like 3-4 years old!” It was embarrassing. But eh, I can walk some people are in a wheelchair so I feel alright.

  3. kb

    I wish I was in the HP club. I have never gotten into the books or movies. I should start.

    Greg, had I the answer, I would feel happy about giving it to you :)

    I think we had a Manimal imposter. Would he be so mean as to pop in and not give us an update? Not sure, but I don’t think so.

  4. Bill

    Alright, work is done.
    Beer: check
    Hummus and crackers: check
    Laptop for XE chatter: Check
    3 hours of Ghost Hunters on Scifi: check

    Gonna be a good night.

  5. FyarlGirl

    Aw man, and I just got done having chicken for supper! Thanks, thanks a lot.

  6. Danny J

    So far they are saying its def. not terrorism and that there is a huge crater caused by a massive explosion starting at a 20 inch steam pipe. crazy shit man. The video if it is jaw dropping

  7. Shuanfu

    I feel ya…

    Yard work done
    Tea kettle brewing for southern sweetness later Fish thawing, soon to be grilled
    Living Room AC on and getting the room cozy chilled
    Case of Newcastle in the fridge

    Summer paradise….

  8. Cameron T.

    I heard a transformer blew up in New York. And not Optimus Prime, either.

    meepy

    I live in Waco, TX, which I wouldn’t consider “small,” but it’s not Dallas, either. But for the last book I was in Oxford, England, and walked into the bookstore the day after release to find piles and piles of the books available. Same was found in London…This isn’t the PS3…I’m pretty sure they will have plenty available for all.

  9. Danny J

    The crater looks like a bomb was dropped complete with a truck rolling halfway into it. this thing is nuts

  10. Knegative

    Greg, the search engine on the main page (actually a link to a google search form aimed at X-E) searches blog posts as well as articles. If you had used it, you’d have found Shuanfu’s recommendations.

    ArmorLite cases are great as well. I have one and it has served me perfectly. I got it when my DS was new and seeing the scratches on it makes me glad I invested in it.

    Speaking of which, the unit is done, I can play Trace Memory!!!!! Also: I got an Optimus Prime 3 ring binder today. It is SWEET. I already used it in class :D

  11. Muppet Baby

    Meepy (or anyone really)- I was misdiagnosed as having Ulcerative Colitis in high school. When I was 19 I was VERY ill, and they recommended I remove my entire large intestine. Only then would I be ‘cured’ since the diseased organ would no longer be in my body. So, I did. It was a HORRIBLE procedure, and I was in the hospital a month recovering. I didn’t eat for 16 days- not even juice. I lived for a year with an ileostomy bag, then had ANOTHER operation to reconnect my insides….2 years later, I was ill again- turns out I had Crohn’s Disease all along, and they only realized it when the disease returned after removing the intestine, since Crohn’s always comes back, while Colitis actually CAN be removed from the body…IF it is diagnosed correctly!! Terrible times. I am on a new drug right now, but it looks like more surgery is in my future…yup.

    I envy all you people who can eat chips and drink beer! I used to LOVE chips and beer! Stupid Crohn’s Disease….

  12. Shuanfu

    kb: It’s never to late to start; buy the first book and you cna probably have it done in a few days. I HATE to read -as do many people- but I can read the HP books pretty much start to finish without too many breaks. They move so fast it keeps you going. But do that, buy the first book, and give it a try…

  13. Bill

    Muppet Baby don’t despair. Every stupid decision and dumb situation I have been in is because of beer.

  14. Cameron T.

    Anyone starting the HP series: Get the first three books. Admittedly, the first two books are rather tiresome for me to read now, partly because I’ve read them so many times, and partly because they’re rather childishly written. But starting with the third book and continuing on, JK advances her writing style considerably. By the end of the 4th book, it will become pretty clear to you that these books are not for children anymore (heck, I just finished reading the 6th book and noticed that the word “slut” is in it…I would hardly call that a child-friendly word.

    Anyway, my point is: Don’t judge the whole series on the first two books.

  15. Knegative

    ***Sick Description Redux Sick Description Redux***
    Oh, I’m pretty damn good now, Bill. It was a very slow process, it wasn’t explosive, more like drooling. Just annoying as we didn’t have any TUMS. I tried to drink some water and I swear to you, I felt it criss-crossing in my esophagus. Took like a minute before I felt it reach my stomach. Just ew.
    ***Sick Description Redux Sick Description Redux***

    Cricket, if Manimal hasn’t told you yet, a Unit plan is set of lesson plans that are tied together thematically. I did mine on the American Revolution. I was told today by a teacher in the district I plan on teaching in, that we don’t have to write full lesson plans or unit plans once we start teaching. We have to have a Unit plan like every 3 years for our evaluations. But, hey, 1 plan in 3 years, that I can write AFTER I teach it? No problem.

  16. Magic Toy

    Well it is pouring rain here in the Chicagoland area. My lady is gone for the next few days. She and her sister went to a country music festival. Thankfully I dodged that bullet. Now to enjoy watching Lifeforce on Comcast On-Demand. Maybe finish off the last of a bottle of Crown Royal.

    I just got Children of Men from Netflix today, so I may watch that later.

    I just heard the world “harbinger” in the movie I am watching. I just realized I really like the world “harbinger”.

    Geez it is raining hard. I hope I don’t lose power. Being alone with no power would be extremely boring.

  17. Cameron T.

    Magic Toy

    I like “harbinger” too. One of my parent’s proffessors in college used to say “An ominous foreboding harbinger of future things yet to come.” Yeah, it’s fun because they all mean the same thing. :)

  18. meepy

    Muppet Baby, seems you were drinking at a young age if all this happened with you were 19 or earlier.

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