X-Entertainment's Christmas Season & Advent Calendar, 2008.

07/10/2007: Summer Megaparty: Poor Lazy Dazy!

I don’t cover too many toy commercials from the ’70s and earlier, merely because I hadn’t been born when they aired and feel no personal connection to ‘em. But some, like Ideal’s “Lazy Dazy” commercial from around 1972, are far too deliciously macabre to pass up. I’m trying really hard not to make mountains out of molehills, but this commercial is seriously twisted.

First, some exposition. “Lazy Dazy” dolls had a strange gimmick that definitely reflects on its era’s simpler toy technologies. Inside each doll was a specially weighted contraption that caused it to slowly tumble into a sleeping position, as if it was falling asleep while watching TV or something. So, you’d sit the doll up in just the right way, and then it’d spend 6-8 seconds fumbling onto the floor for a nap. They even made it so that the doll’s eyes gradually closed as it neared the ground. Not the kind of toy that’d set the hearts of today’s young girls ablaze, but for 1972, it wasn’t bad.

Now, you may be wondering exactly what kind of playtime scenario called for a doll with narcolepsy. Apparently, parent company Ideal wondered the same thing. Instead of a more obvious ad campaign, like, let’s say, a thirty-second commercial where a bunch of little friendly girls let a Lazy Dazy doll lead their slumber party, Ideal went for something so strange and ridiculous that watching this ad today makes it look like bad sketch comedy.

It stars a little girl, dressed in pajamas in her dim bedroom. Seems like the perfect introduction to a doll who is a professional at going to sleep, but nothing of the sort is involved. Instead, they show the little girl creepily wording her way through a maternal relationship with Lazy Dazy, and when the doll does what it does best — render itself unconscious — “Mom” gets super pissed. Played in the straightest, most serious way possible, the little girl reprimands the doll for not paying attention, even breaking out a paraphrase of the always-dreaded “how dare you.”

Keep in mind, this doesn’t come off at all like some kid having fun with her doll. It doesn’t even come off like a kid pretending to be a really strict mother. She acts like one of those reverse-twisted evil mother figures from a horror movie — the kind of mother that tells you how much she loves you while cueing Leatherface to come chop your head off and feed it to her. Maybe I’m reaching, but I don’t think many real life mothers would want to know if their young daughters acted this way in private. At the very least, they wouldn’t want to arm such perversions with a sleeping doll that’s apparently quite good at drawing them out.

That’s not the sickest part, either. After speaking a line that I swore couldn’t be topped (”How DARE you fall asleep while I’m talking to you!”), Satanita goes for the gold: “Mommy doesn’t like to spank you…but sometimes you make Mommy soooooo maaaad.”

And then…she does it! The patented ass slap! Boom boom boom boom boom, and all the while, she’s looking like Patrick Bateman did when he videotaped himself fucking that hooker in American Psycho. Girl is into it.

So, she beats the shit out of Lazy Dazy, feels the point is made, and places her back on her bed in an upright position. She expects no more sacrilege, but Dazy is both blessed and cursed by her ability to flop and snore no matter the occasion. Of course, the doll fumbles again. The last we see of the girl before they cut to the spot-ending product photo is one of patience — she puts her chin on her knuckles, sighs and says, “Dazy…you did it again.” We can only speculate as to what happened in the aftermath, but ten bucks says it involved pool cues up the secret parts.

I think I way oversold it, but click here to watch the “Lazy Dazy” commercial. Note that Dazy came with her very own pillow, which with she avoided countless concussions from passing out and hitting her head on tables.

Still, you really can’t argue that toys were so much more ridiculous back then, because here we are, 30 years later, with a Barbie doll that cleans up dog shit.

I just refreshed and saw a girl spanking a doll. I must say it took me off guard a little.

that is truely the giffiest gif that ever giffed before. not very often you see something like that.

I think it is even more freaky that she has a yellow bedroom. For some reason yellow rooms scare me.

The background voice make me think of Phil Hartman as though it were a parody. But the talking-to the girl gives the doll is beyond strange.

Just wait til your daddy comes home. Her weird demeanor is really disconcerning.

Bill - perhaps because you read The Yellow Wallpaper sometime in English class.

It sounds like the only way to make the doll work is by spanking it every time it falls asleep.
So this is a doll you beat the crap out of so that it can nap and then you have an excuse to beat the crap out of it once more.

Hello everyone, really weird post, Matt. I guess truth really is stranger than fiction. In case anyone is interested, Darkwing Duck vol. 2 is coming to DVD August 7th. This should be good. I think it includes the one where DW meets Morgana. Oddly enough, these episodes ran concurrently with the vol. 1 episodes, because season 1 aired weekdays and season 2 aired simultaneously on saturday mornings.

9-Line: That sounds awesome. My brother already owns two SW transformers and he may very well be interested in this new one.

I’ve always felt that Transfomers was a genius idea, but combining the licenses was way beyond genius. It might be the last time a toy causes an audible conniption fit in stores for me, though part of me hopes not.

I think I like the Barbie better. If you look at the smaller pics in reverse order, you can feed the dog his own feces!

I could see this happening upstairs during the dinner scene in Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

“…pool cues up the secret parts.” I think that phrase will be used quite a lot this summer. I’ve only begun to consider the possibilities:

Person A: Do you know how the Brewers did today?
Person B: Aw, man, they really took pool cues up the secret parts from the Pirates.
Person A: Darn.

Oh, and the Barbie doll, a classic worth its own article. I laughed out loud when I saw that the food is the same as the poop! Way to go Mattel!

I have Optimus Prime, Ravage, Bumblebee, Soundwave, and managed to find the really damn rare Optimus Prime with Matrix/Unicron 2 pack

That’s rare? I saw one at Toy R Us, yesterday. Ktulu has speculated that distribution varies across the country. Makes sense to me. All they had left was Ratchet. I should have got him, in retrospect. They had Blackout but he was in a two-pack with Scorponok. You couldn’t sell me him if you tried.

You know, they might have had a sequel to that that was never made: Daddy does come home and hoooooo boy is he mad. That’s when things that even horror movie directors are too afraid to think of happen and Lazy Dazy will wish she didn’t have such a heavy head.

“My name is Lazy Dazy, and I’m going to kill you.” S’what happened next. Swear.

Best doll of my era? Magic Nursery babies. You had to undress them and dip their clothes in water to get a magical pack with a new dress and find out if it was a girl, boy, or TWINS.

What a creepy little girl. I’d thought she’d break out the wire hangers by the way she was talking.

Today’s post was so great in so many ways, sheesh. I never knew how bad I wanted little magnetic dog poop until just this moment.

Yeah, where did you find this, Matt? Must have been online someplace, because I don’t think VCRs for consumers were even being sold yet in 1972…

Maybe you did videotape it somewhere, but definitely not in 1972… I just checked on Wikipedia, and as I thought, VHS didn’t even exist until 1976… Just sayin’!

I’m freakin terrified. I’ve been having nightmares lately and this is not gonna help.

While the doll came out in ‘72, the ad may have been later — or perhaps it ran for several years, which seems doubtful, because how long could Lazy Dazy last?

Odd. Funny how the face comes crashing down into the pillow. I would think that would be an extra feature, you can suffocate lazy dazy as well when spanking isn’t enough!

I thought the way the commercial ended was interesting: “Lazy Dazy - She’s Ideal(TM)!” instead of something like “from Ideal”.

At first I thought the pillow was a pie… heh. sick and twisted and not nearly oversold

All ‘dolls that do something on there own’ are naturally creepy…the aged film and Fear Yellow bedroom only add the effect….

This commercial is also pretty indicative of the overall vibe of many early-to-mid ’70s (’60s, too, actually) toy ads. They can be quite long (you’ll rarely find a sixty-second doll commercial today, and many in the ’70s actually went two full minutes), and they’re almost always “slice of life” pieces. This is mainly because there wasn’t enough money/technology/whatever to beef things up with assorted wacky graphics or wild songs. So, if the commercial was for some doll, all you’d see is a kid playing with the doll, shot much in the same way a parent would film their kid playing in the backyard.

Many of the early Kenner Star Wars toy commercials had the same vibe, but if you’re looking for proof that this simple concept can work, try to dig up some of the old Star Trek or Planet of the Apes toy commercials. They’re pretty great.

While the look, acting, copy and effects seen in today’s toy ads are combed over like a constitutional amendment before they go public, these older ads were a LOT looser. Sometimes, it added realistic charm. Other times, like in Lazy Dazy’s case, it was fodder for venomous blog posts.

Heh Jessica Marie you beat me to the Yellow Wallpaper reference like a creepy narcoleptic doll.
Mystie, Magic Nursery Babies!!!

The only nostalgia toy I really would kill to see back in stores. I’ve checked eBay but the prices for unopened ones are a little redonk in my opinion. And the whole appeal is the “reveal” so there’s no point in buying an open one.
Matt, I could swear I remember reading that you hated American Psycho? Distinct possibility I made the whole thing up.
Everybody that’s seeing Order of the Phoenix tonight: have fun! I actually kind of wish I could go myself now, but I’m incredisick and am not feeling up to it. Looking forward to what you guys think

Nope, you’re right. I didn’t like it. But I admit that I saw the movie with people who were really into movie “meanings” and all that jazz, and I was just like, “shut up.”

Actually, I find a lot of 70s movies to be creepy, period (whether intentional or not), so I can only imagine how I would handle this beat-up but decidedly of it’s time commercial. Even the yellowish photos have a freaky vibe.

I agree, it looks like a Twilight Zone episode mixed with The Last House on the Left.

WTF. That would absolutely give me nightmares if I’d seen that in my younger years. Actually, it might give me nightmares now. Thanks.

My sister had that creepy ass doll! I distinctly remember thinking it was pretty darn cool as a VERY little kid. She cried because the dog destroyed the pillow that came with it. I still cry because having that doll in the house screwed me up for life.

That last shot of Lazy Dazy just falling into the pillow is so hilarious. What an interesting commercial.

OMG that is seriously screwed up. That background narrating voice is the final horrific touch. Im going to have nightmares where that voice says “Shes Ideal.. ” EEK. Freakking strange….. and spooky.

Wow….simply wow. Maybe this was the toy Ideal came out with to compete with Matels new “Baby Shake Em Quiet”, the doll you shake to stop crying.

We need more commercials from the 70s. If nothing else, it’ll show us just how we have evolved since then. And creep us the fuck out.

Eeesh! Yeah her voice… very creepy. It reminds me of the “Tumblin’” Curious George they have out. His head is weighted so he tumbles. It’s really stupid as hell, but if you really feel his head, it’s like he has a skull under that fabric. Kinda spooky.

Me and my co-workers have had many a laugh over the Barbie cleaning up dog shit and feeding it to her pet all over again.

Knegative - Yay! I’ll have to start playing it again, now.

Oh, and let me know what the main character’s birthday is, on yours. It’s using my birthday, on mine, but I’m just wondering if that’s coincidence, or they just snagged it from my DS data. hehe.

I got my degree in Early Childhood Education and for the life of me didn’t know where those so called reseachers and psychoanalysists people got their info from. Well, the search is over. Lazy Dazy is now the proof. :^O

I think I like the Barbie better. If you look at the smaller pics in reverse order, you can feed the dog his own feces!

Also, the doll ad that freaked me out were those “Baby Alive Twins” or something like that. I hated that song, I hated that ad, and i’m no fan of any doll that has realistic bodily functions.

And my favorite toy ad? Definately the G2 Tranformers one from my childhood. That awesome theme, the good-at-the-time 3D footage, and the layouts of the local KB and Toys R Us where I got them from.

Take your time, Ryane. I gave it to my mom. I won’t be seeing it again until I produce this unit plan I’m working on. So, like two weeks, since you know I’m going to wait til the last minute to finish it.

Sometimes commitment procedures are the only way to force yourself to exhibit self-control

I may have picked up a clue…play the video again (if you dare) and notice the very small watermark above the X-E mark. You don’t really notice it unless you look for it, but it clearly says “PULP.”

By the way, I want to thank whoever linked to LilFormers in that last blog. I think it’s freaking hilarious and incredibly geeky to the point where I laughed at every single comic and getting all of the little background references, as well as recognizing almost all of the Lil-ized transformers. (except for The “Difficult Transformation” one…I don’t remember which Transformer it’s supposed to be)

And is the Summer Jukebox supposed to end with the “Tiki Room” theme? I’m not getting it on my compy, no matter what I do, it always ends with “Walk Like an Egyptian” and “Rock The Casbah” appearing twice.

Please tell me kids don’t slump over like that when they pass out. I mean, I know you lose tonicity in REM, but like when I pass out, I fall backwards, head up, mouth agape.

Umm.. There’s something, besides the obvious, that’s a little unsettling about that commercial.

With the way she does it so calmly… so well rehearsed… you honestly have to wonder, where did she pick that up?

“U-matic is the name of a videocassette format first shown by Sony in prototype in October 1969, and introduced to the market in September 1971″

It’s been about two months since I’ve posted (technical difficulties/laziness) and I come with something completely off topic!

Just got back from the midnight showing of Order of the Phoenix. Best one yet, by far. The theater I saw it in dedicated the four main, and higher capacity, theaters to the showing, and all four were fucking PACKED. It’s going to break some records.

I too just got back from seeing HARRY POTTER. Fear not, there are some changes and omissions but it is very very good.

Welcome back Colonel

I’m glad to read the good reviews. Hope you guys had fun.

Yar. I told him last night that he was supposed to talk about American Psycho, seeing as Christian Bale is his Keanu. He let that opportunity slip by, apparantly

If you beat me I fall asleep,If I fall asleep you beat me, if you beat me I fall asleep,If I fall asleep you beat me, If you beat me I fall asleep,If I fall sleep you beat me…

I’m sooooooooooooo tired. This crazy bitch keeps me up all night telling me to PAY ATTENTION! I haven’t slept in like four daysssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

If you listen to the line “I just don’t know what makes you do the things you do” add Charlie Brown to the end cuz it sounds just like a peanuts character talking.

So the commercial is saying: Buy this doll that pretends to pass out, and roughly pounds her head on a lil’ pillow….and your kid yells and hits it for passing out! Wow gotta love those wacky 70’s commercials.

OMG!!!!!That Barbi takes the cake…..We really haven’t come that far in 30 plus years.. can you see that commerical…Barbi does not like it when doggy goes poop..haha

I love the stuff Lazy Dazy gets yelled at for not doing…how old is this kid? Is an 8-month-old really supposed to pick up her toys?

Harry Potter movie time! Mystie - tell me you didn’t realy wear a scarf to a movie in this heat.

Jessica: I read the Yellow Wallpaper in college but it was more of a feminist paper, wasn’t it? I can’t remember.

and a Darth Vader/Death Star Transformer???? thats seriously the most awesome fucking thing i’ve ever seen!

I think this commercial was trying to emphasize the “lazy” part of Lazy Dazy. Apparently she doesn’t fall asleep because she’s tired, but because she lacks the motivation to do anything else. Yeah, I hate babies that don’t pull their own weight too. I played “mommy” to my dolls a lot as a kid, but I don’t think I ever chose to pretend that they were lazy little deviants who needed constant punishment. Call me crazy, but that didn’t fit into my happy little fantasy world. Yeah, I’d say that kid definitely has issues.

I had a Magic Nursery baby even though I was a little old for them. It was such a cool concept, I couldn’t resist. That seems like such a timeless toy, I wonder why they discontinued them.

Holy hell (isn’t that an oxymoron?), Matt! This is why today’s world sucks. We’re too “safe” and “PC” to ever have ads or toys like this today. Ideal has a bunch of twisted f’ers in their ad dept. Check out YouTube for a commercial with early Kermit the Frog and Rowlf the dog toys. There’s choruses of them singing “Buy us, buy us, we’ll break your arms” and stuff like that. I kid you not!!

“mommy doesn’t like to spank you, she just likes to pump you full of painkillers and jack daniels!” FRRRRRRREAKY!

Harry Potter movie time! Mystie - tell me you didn’t realy wear a scarf to a movie in this heat.

It’s not like I wrapped it around my neck, just draped it. What was I supposed to do, I retired my quidditch robes! I was certainly a lot cooler than the peeps in costumes.

My theater sold out all 4 theaters like about an hour and a half before the movie started. And I’d estimate a good 20-25 people jipped in line ahead of me. Apparently the trick is to find someone you know that’s ahead of line and run up screaming, “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” and then just NOT get to the back of the line where you belong.

Not sure who all has seen this, but I found a Transformers Monopoly. May be old news to some of you, but this is the first I’ve seen and I’m rather excited about it.

I’m thinking about adding it to my Monopoly collection, which my 2 favorites are Simpsons Monopoly and Nintendo Monopoly.

Actually, my daughter falls asleep like that all the time. (She’s 2)We have tons of pictures of it. She could be watching TV, eating, in the car, whatever. Of course we don’t spank and yell at her for it. We usually just enjoy the momentary silence.

Not sure who all has seen this, but I found a Transformers Monopoly. May be old news to some of you, but this is the first I’ve seen and I’m rather excited about it.

I found one at the NYC FAO Schwarz. My gf thought it was so funny, she just took my camera and took a pic of me holding it. It’s on my Flickr page here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/galileo908/539729312/

The music and the grainy look rocks.. just need some Tool or NIN music in the background.

Bill - Yes, it was feminist, but she went crazy staring at the yellow wallpaper. Plus, think of what feminists had to say about Lazy Dazy…
Mystie - I’m afraid I can’t see your Quidditch robes, but it’s okay…I can imagine them. I’ve never dressed up for Harry Potter, only Lord of the Rings…stupid mistake, considering how hot it becomes in a theater full of sweaty nerds.

That commercial was definitely a sign of the times, Im surprised that Lazy Dazy didn’t come with a bottle of Vallium Pills to help Mommy make it through the day!

What the…? They teach you to feed your dog recycled dog food (i.e. crap) and then tell you to squeeze your kitty until its internal organs burst and it pees for you. What’s next? Barbie, a bird and some Alka Seltzer? See…I always suspected Barbie was a sick bitch and now I have proof.

Also, I remember seeing commercials for the Magic Nursery Babies when I was little but what I am wondering is how you wouldn’t know they were twins by seeing 2 of them? Were they all sold in 2 packs and genitally mutilated prior to arriving at your home? Strange.

Just a mere sampling of what we used to see back in the old three-network days. When there was no PC watchdogs to keep us from harm. Geronimo and his horse, Comanche! Kinda like Braveheart and his horse, Scotsman! Or, Peter Griffin and his horse, Fat Guy! Funny any way you slice it. And this is coming from a Comanche.

I so wanted that as a youngling. Action Masters needed a “Space Bridge” set, like this one.

When I got my Magic Nursery doll, there was one in the package, but there was another mystery pack with a certificate or something in it. When I opened that up, it told me that I had triplets, so I got to send away for two more (free- probably cost S&H, though) mystery babies. It was pretty sweet.

Apparently the trick is to find someone you know that’s ahead of line and run up screaming, “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” and then just NOT get to the back of the line where you belong

This works. Ask the Colonel about the infamous MCR/Green Day concert, or just look in the blog archives. He should thank me for doing it, since he assured me that we didn’t have to leave any earlier than 5. Yeah, the time when the traffic through the tunnel to the southside is at a standstill.

I had friends who would talk to their dolls like that. You think it’s creepy on the screen, just imagine being 5 and having to spend all day with girls like that. And my folks wonder why I ditched the dolls and stole my brother’s action figures. Action figures are not easily possessed by Satan, is why. Plus cooler accessories.

In case anyone cares, VH1 is airing an I Love the ’90s marathon right now. The year 1994 starts in a few minutes. Moments ago they aired a segment on Crystal Pepsi and it made think some of you might be interested.

it’s been hours since i read this latest blog entry and i’m still semi-freaked out by it.

“Tanner, Barbie’s dog, eats and ejects waste from her body. At this point, Barbie can pick it up with her scooper, and then Tanner will eat it again– just like your real dog!”

Now I know dogs eat some nasty shit…like they’ll eat their puke up and stuff…but my dogs never taken a big ol’ dump and then turned around and eaten it.

And hey, we may have left late because of my pregaming, but we made it. You got our cut, and a quick flirt with the ugly girl and BOOM, we were in.

I don’t recall flirting with her at all. I remember getting accosted by that pack of jailbait who wanted stickers.

Also, I wasn’t the one who yelled at her (from across the intersection) “Heeeeeeey Baaaaaaaaby.”

Well I was plenty pickled by then and didn’t know anyone, so all blame aside. And if I were to embarrass you in front of your friends, well then Mission Accomplished.

Friends is strong word. I knew her well enough to get the cut. I also still think she stole your tshirt. She had it last. Lost it in the mosh pit, my ass.

She was holding it up and said, and I quote “This wouldn’t even fit one boob.”

You guys make me wish you took pics of the whole adventure. Or at least drew a comic strip of it.

Oh my god, you’re right! That bitch! I do remember her saying that while we sat enmass on the floor level, waiting for MCR to come out. Then they did and everyone stood up in waves and my drunk ass was merely focused on getting my feet under me securely. That’s when I figured I lost it because that was when I last had it.

Well at least you have the MCR tie you’ve never worn, since you got mustard on it 30 seconds after you bought it. I wear mine in front of school children constantly, so it isn’t like I’m much better

Kingklash: we’re going to publish it as a 25 part webcomic. Thank you for your interest

All of our adventures will be immortalized in one form or another, save the Smash Mouth/Lenny Kravitz concert. That is a story of anger and heartbreak, not for public consumption. Spoiler: K- acts like a dick!

Just got back from the White Stripes concert- it was awesome, but they didn’t play ‘My Doorbell’ or ‘Blue Orchid’ which I was hoping for. Oh well. I gave a lady 5 bucks for her floor ticket and my bf and I wound up in the second row, right behind Meg’s ass, basically. They are amazing performers, and sound great live.

I am a happy girl! Or, I WAS until this creepy doll commercial freaked me the fuck out.

That doll would have freaked me out as a kid. I had a Baby Alive doll that I never kept in my eyesight. I swear it could see through my soul.

Now the Barbie, that’s funny. That’s damn funny. “Mommy, mommy! I want the Barbie that cleans up cleans up dog poop. It reminds me of you!”

What’s freaky about this is, this comercial is a little befor my time (born in 77). However I vividly remember someone a cousin or a neighbor owning this thing and my brothers and I taking great pleasure in beating the thing because it wouldn’t stay awake, essentially emulating this commercial. I’m sitting here laughing at this memory of us tossing this thing into walls and such.

I can’t decide which is more disturbing…That horrible commercial, or Barbie cleaning up dog shit…Although if I were a kid again I’d have to have the latter…Who wouldn’t want a toy dog that could eat it’s own shit??

Actually the first home video recorder came out in 1972, called “Cartrivision”. You could record TV shows and buy prerecorded content just like VHS later. There were other video formats that came out between Cartrivision in 1972 and VHS/Beta in 1977(?) but didn’t last long in the market. And there was home kinescoping, filming TV content directly off of the screen onto motion picture film (I think the infamous 88 reel of Star Wars commercials was first recorded that way.) So there is stuff out there from the early and late 70s people recorded at home.

OMG, not only do I remember that rather disturbing commercial — BUT I USED TO HAVE A LAZY DAZY DOLL! It performed exactly as it did in the commercial, and you DID have to spank it to make it “wake up” again. It was, in fact, filled with SAND. That was the highly advanced mechanism that caused her to fall over. I know this ’cause I dissected mine to find out what was causing her excessive narcolepsy.

Add A New Comment!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 10th, 2007 at 5:54 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.