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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

Summer Megaparty: OCTOSQUID!

If the world can be divided into any two distinct camps, it's people who think squids are cooler than octopi, and people who think octopi are cooler than squids. It's a difficult question for me and it almost hurts to make an answer, but I'd give squids the overall advantage. There's just too many stories of them killing people and growing to the size of football stadiums for any octopus to keep up.

Course, it's easier not to choose, and Mother Nature appears to be giving us a third option: THE OCTOSQUID.


As reported here, a creature that appears to blend the traits of an octopus and a squid has been caught near Hawaii. Well, actually, it wasn't exactly "caught" -- the thing got itself caught up in a deep sea pipeline. It lived on for three days after being collected, and the now-dead specimen continues to puzzle scientists.

Its northern parts looking squid-like and its southern parts looking octopus-like, it's a seeming combo of two of the sea's coolest creatures. While I gave squids the advantage a few paragraphs ago, the animals share several traits that make me love both of them to death.

For one, both squids and octopi have notably high intelligence. They're crazy smart. The story of that one octopus figuring out how to escape its lab tank at night to eat fish out of other tanks is well known, but squids can be just as clever.

For two, both eat in really awesome ways. A squid is one of the scariest creatures in the ocean. Its suction cups don't just stick -- they pierce. By the time the bloodied prey is drawn to its mouth, the victim is chewed up by what's essentially an eagle beak. Octopi, for their part, smother the fuck out of their prey and are known to be some of the messiest eaters in the sea, leaving the shells and carapaces of dinner all over the floor of their lairs. They're party animals.

For three, both squid and octopi are boosted by the many myths, rumors and half-truths of cryptozoology. While "giant squid" are no longer a thing of mystery, most of us are still waiting for something like the Kraken to show up. There are also stories of octopi far larger than any known octopus, destroying ships and taking names. Both animals are charmed by having no real limit to their size. Imagine if something like a bee or a wolf could grow as large as a bus -- that's the kind of legendary-maybes our tentacles friends swim within.

As for the Octosquid, it's a new species for sure, but visual similarities don't necessarily dictate that an octopus got it on with a squid at some point in the not too distant past. But it'd be pretty cool if that turns out to be true.


When news reports give you an excuse to draw an octopus and a squid making out, it's a good day.

Posted by Matt on 07/06/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 101 comments

Oh man I was just sitting here reading Cosmo and I saw the most fantastic thing that reminded me of that great conversation we had the other week on the cruise blog. Cosmo’s Aqua Kama Sutra. It’s like an ocean sex guide! And get this — the book is totally waterproof.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 07/07/2007 1:58 AM


Yowza. I bet it’s like those plastic children’s books that you could take in the tub. That’s what I like to do while I’m bathing, read o_O

“I wasn’t masturbating, I was cleaning it and it went off”

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/07/2007 2:03 AM


After digging in a basement closet for far too long attempting to dig out my long dormant Sega Dreamcast (to play Seaman) I just remembered that I DVR’d Gleaming the Cube. Woo-Hoo, does it get any better? Second “woo-hoo!” of the night, BTW.

Well, yes, it could be far better than that. I encountered a couple of very introverted basement closet spiders that do not appreciate company.

Screw them. Until they start chipping-in on the mortgage payment I won’t feel guilty for killing them.

Chestnuts roasted by Magic Toe @ 07/07/2007 2:26 AM


I posted my comment days late in the Shell Shanty blog, so I wasn’t sure if it went unseen. But because it is equally on topic here, Matt, I will re-post the link just to be safe, and in case you were still longing for this thing:

http://cgi.ebay.com/Amber-Octopus-Lamp-6-tall_W0QQitemZ290134269265QQihZ019QQcategoryZ4056QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItem

Cheers.

Chestnuts roasted by Diego @ 07/07/2007 3:07 AM


This article makes me wish, even more, that Matt would’ve bought that octopus lamp.

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 07/07/2007 5:54 AM


Octopuses/Octopi = awesome. Squid = scary as shit. Something that is both squishy and has a beak is too weird for me. Plus that whole eating-people thing, and vision of giant Kraken-esque squid. *shudder*

Chestnuts roasted by Frakkyfire @ 07/07/2007 7:52 AM


Okay, so I grew up in one of those one-horse towns where the city council knackered the horse in the mid 70s and sold the glue for meth. Our movie theater had one screen, and had one movie per week, with a showing on Friday night and another on Saturday. So if you wanted to take a girl to the movies, you were probably going to end up taking her to some wildly unsuitable film.

The low point of my date-movie career was probably senior year, when I was dating a girl whose father viewed me with intense suspicion, lived about four blocks down from the theater, and was an unarmed combat instructor for the national guard. Which meant that if I said I was taking her to the movies, I actually had to take her to the movies, or have my neck broken.

So in all that time, the worst movie overall would probably have to be Charlie’s Angels 3 and the worst date movie was Lilo and Stitch.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/07/2007 8:16 AM


Mystie, I just read your NYC blog! Sounds like you had a lot of fun…I went at the end of May and also had a great time in the wax museum! You got some great pictures!

Chestnuts roasted by Lilly @ 07/07/2007 10:05 AM


Does anyone else find it interesting that undiscovered species can be discovered in an Indonesian grocery store?
If someone eats it for dinner hasn’t it kinda been discovered?
Is it only truly discovered when a European scientist has one?
Does this mean Bigfoot and UFOs are real or do we have to wait for a European scientist to have one?

I’ll stop.

Chestnuts roasted by Fungusmungus @ 07/07/2007 10:31 AM


The first and last REAL date I ever went on: BEVERLY HILLS NINJA.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 07/07/2007 10:39 AM


I know there was a movie about a killer octopus during that killer sea creature movie craze that started with Jaws, but what about a killer squid? I don’t remember any. The Kracken in Pirates 2 doesn’t count.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/07/2007 10:47 AM


I have seen Transformers, and Bumblebee was cool as hell.

Chestnuts roasted by Julie @ 07/07/2007 11:18 AM


I saw “American Beauty” on a first date…wish we had seen something that wasn’t quite so HEAVY. It led to deep conversations and stuff…we dated 2 years…

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 07/07/2007 12:22 PM


JLAJRC – the movie you are thinking about is (probably) Tentacles, and Italian cash-in on the JAWS style movie. Of course, there was also Peter Benchley’s “The Beast”, but it sucks differently. And that guy should rot in hell, for what he did to sharks.

Matt, I’ll see you Cuttlefish and raise you an Ammonite (a really funky one, like Nipponites).

Fungusmungus – As someone that has described new fossil species (and someday my co-author will finish getting the paper in) I have dealt with this theoretically. Generally, when someone says a new species was discovered, it means it has been identified as unique and published on in a scientific paper–this is true whether it is a European or Asian or African or whatever who does the discovering. Of course, the market people have discovered it first, but they often don’t care whether a certain rat or goat is different than ones that everyone else knows about Unless they taste markedly different). And as a longer aside, I too get peeved at the idea that animals could evolve, exist, and go extinct without us ever knowing and that is somehow the misfortune of the animal–like our (humankind’s) knowledge of them gives some sort of validation for their existence.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean (of the fish) @ 07/07/2007 12:35 PM


I know there was a movie about a killer octopus during that killer sea creature movie craze that started with Jaws, but what about a killer squid? I don’t remember any. The Kracken in Pirates 2 doesn’t count.

The Giant Squid from “20,000 Leagues Under The Sea.”

Also, an actual Nautilus…I’ll admit, THAT’S the Cephalapod that creeps the hell out of me.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/07/2007 12:50 PM


I’m not even sure I remember what a “date” is anymore. I can say from long ago experience that if seeing Moulin Rouge together doesn’t bump you out of the Friend Zone, well, maybe nothing will.
The carnival turned out to be a successful venture. I had some yummy carnitas, sang along to a cover band playing “Margaritaville” and came up like crazy at the used book sale, my real reason for going. Picked up tons of great books: The Sun Also Rises, Memoirs of a Geisha, The Diary of Anais Nin, a couple of Mario Puzo novels, a book about the petroglyphs of Hawai’i (for an friend who’s an archaeology major), The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven, The Playboy’s Bar Guide (copyright 1971!), the autobiography of Chuck Jones, and the book that Children of Men was based on (my most serendipitous find considering I just saw the movie a few days ago and decided to look for the book). All for the princely sum of two dollars and fifty cents.
For a second I thought maybe Tentacles was another title for the awesomely bad Devil Fish, since terrible movies tend to have a half dozen names. No such luck though. Hey, if we really wanted to do a syncronized MST3K viewing that would be a good one. It’s on YouTube.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/07/2007 12:57 PM


Sean (of the fish)-Thanks for making my point clearer. We are a pompous species aren’t we? Well we are pretty good at a lot of stuff… like:
-roads
-buildings
-words
-books
-music
-airplanes
-bombs
-global warming

…. oh, yeah. We are a kind of unfortunate development for the old planet here aren’t we?

We did come up with Pac-Man and Mario though so… I guess that makes up for it.

And Hot Pockets… they’re tasty.

Chestnuts roasted by Fungusmungus @ 07/07/2007 1:17 PM


I guess I pick a squid. I think I would choose jellyfish if they were an option.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/07/2007 1:27 PM


Matt brought up Cuttlefishes a while back… Cuttlefishes are gods among Mollusca. They are the greatest race that has ever swum through the depths of the oceans. So yea, they’re better than Octopuses and Squids combined!

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 07/07/2007 3:39 PM


The world looks mighty good to me,
‘Cause Octosquid are all I see.
Whatever it is I think I see,
Becomes an Octosquid to me!
Boiled, baked, stir-fry, calamari too,
Octosquid I think I’m in love with you!
Whatever it is I think I see,
Becomes an Octosquid to me!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/07/2007 4:29 PM


Now just make this creature the size of an ocean liner, and this year will be the coolest ever. (And I will never go in the ocean again.)

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew @ 07/08/2007 11:49 PM


I’ll have to give the edge to the Squids.

1) Cooler name
2) Better mystique
3) Navy guys aren’t referred to as “Octopi”
4) Whenever there’s a giant sea monster behemoth in pop culture, what does it almost ALWAYS resemble? I’ll give you a hint: It’s not an octopus.

Don’t get me wrong. Octopi are hella cool, but Game, Set and Match goes to the squid hands down.

Chestnuts roasted by Kev @ 07/09/2007 2:35 PM


Deep sea pipeline? I sense a mutant.

Chestnuts roasted by Frumious @ 07/10/2007 1:38 AM


Or is it a Cuttlefish: “These are seriously one of the most amazing animals of all, folks. They look like mutant children of a ill-fated but nonetheless mated octopus and squid…”

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/disneyadventure/part1/

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 07/12/2007 2:24 PM


Wow. I’m totally behind on your blog for the first time in a while. (Not to put any further pressure on you). Always appreciate when you gift us an article :)

Chestnuts roasted by Coltyhuxx @ 07/16/2007 4:45 PM


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