Sometimes people need a little helpful persuasion before they allow themselves to fill their personal voids with cool things, so I'm here to tell you that it's time to buy an Ecosphere.
If you've been to one of those nature stores that were all the rage in shopping malls several years back, you've probably seen one of these. If not, they're best summarized as "self-contained ecosystems." The glass is completely sealed, but contains all of the basic necessities to sustain life: Water, earth and perpetually forming algae, which feeds a couple of tiny shrimp that float around totally oblivious to their position as a novelty act.
When they first burst on the scene, Ecospheres were ridiculously expensive -- way too expensive for most people. They've become much more affordable, but not exactly cheap. Smaller Ecospheres run in the 50 dollar range, while the larger ones (which draw consumers in by including additional shrimp) can go as high as 200 bucks. You might think that even the 50 dollar versions are a tad steep for what amounts to a glass egg filled with water, but as far as desk ornaments go, you really can't get any cooler than this.
While there's been some variety in the shrimp found within Ecospheres, they're universally hardy shrimp, who'll keep on truckin' even if you occasionally forget that they need solid room temperature and a fair share of light. These aren't Sea-Monkeys either, mind you. They're real shrimp. Colorful, with visible appendages and everything. Active little fuckers, too.
As a hack writer who very frequently falls into stare-at-something trances while deciding upon the right words, I can confirm that Ecospheres are a much more intriguing sight than, say, an ashtray filled with cigarettes and gum wads. Even if your desk is filled with ink stains and Homies figures, this'll make it look classy.
I took pitiful care of my last one and it ultimately dried out and smashed to pieces (here's the proof), but for whatever psychotic reason, buying a new one has been on my mind all week. Think I'll do that tonight. Maybe you'll join me? They're for sale all over the Internet, but just to prove that this is a sincere suggestion and not some call for me to bank on a referral fee, I'll let you do your own searching.
Posted by Matt on 07/05/2007. E-mail me!
Chestnuts roasted by 
The best was while he was cleaning the baby alligator tank during his planning and it got loose and was seen in the hall by a group of kids returning from lunch….best day ever.
.
DAMMIT MATT!!!!!!!
DONTCHA EVER EVVVVEEEEEER CALL YOURSELF A HACK WRITER AGAIN….YOU HAVE MADE MY SUMMER!!!!!!!!!
HUGS AND KISSES
MR.C