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06/30/2007: Summer Megaparty: Pokemon, and bad Doritos!

I live to be shocking, so here’s a new article, exploring, recapping and reviewing the very first episode of the Pokémon cartoon series. Special care was taken to put that little squiggly line above the “e” over 200 times in this article, and I hope you appreciate that. The genesis of this one is that I got the first season on DVD and can’t believe how well the series still holds up. It’s written more or less for people who know nothing about Pokémon, so my apologies to anyone who really didn’t need an explanation of what a Pokéball was. But you know what? You’ll live.


Seems like as good a time as any to get this out of the way. I know it’s old news by now, but it just didn’t feel right to not archive the Doritos X-13D Flavor Experiment chips on the site. Basically, it’s a wonderful promotion of an unnamed “mystery flavor,” in which junk food lovers are supposed to suggest names for a chip that was clearly based on a cheeseburger.

It’s pretty unbelievable…they taste just like McDonald’s cheeseburgers. While “beef flavoring” is a listed ingredient, what you’ll really take home from X-13D chips is the strong flavor of pickles, ketchup and mustard. Knowing that, they’re pretty terrible once you take away their fancy clothes. I assume Doritos has no choice but to release the chips with whatever name is decided upon when the promotion ends, but I don’t expect them to last much longer than that. They’re putrid.

Putrid…like a fox. Twenty years from now, when the Internet comes in special edition colors and is capable of cooking steaks for you, upstart nostalgia websites will likely pay tribute to Doritos X-13D chips. These would’ve made an incredible impression as me as a child, but even as an adult, I can appreciate eating from a bag that looks like a leftover prop from Back To The Future Part II. Just wish they didn’t taste like the asshole of a dead bear.


Posted by Matt. E-mail me!

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Discussion Thread: 134 comments

Nothing I have been posting is showing. Which is why I changed up the name. Anyone else having this problem?

Ghosted by k-b @ 06/30/2007 11:30 PM EDT

I don’t know, am I having that problem?

Ghosted by dohopoki @ 06/30/2007 11:31 PM EDT

Frakkyfire, you happened to mention Johnny Depp and I read something interesting online earlier. For anyone on here following the progress on J.J. Abrams’ new “Star Trek” movie: what do you think of Johnny Depp playing Spock in the new movie?

Ghosted by Thomas @ 06/30/2007 11:45 PM EDT

Hmmm, weird. Oh well. I forgot what I said. Except that the new doritos are so bad they must be eaten repeatedly to understand their awfulness.
Happy SNT!

Ghosted by k-b @ 06/30/2007 11:48 PM EDT

Each species has its own set of strength and weaknesses, but they’re irrelevant, because everyone knows that you’re supposed to pick Bulbasaur. Frogs with trees growing out of their backs — like a Wuzzle crossbred with Jesus Christ.

Awesome article. Makes me feel like I was in middle school again watyching it for the first time (yes, I saw that first episode when it first aired oh so long ago)

While Matt was referring to Bulbasaur in that great paragraph, there actually is a pokemon like that now: Torterra, the final evo of the new Grass starter which is a turtle that literally has a tree growing on its back. All Venusaur had was a flower.

I was a fan of pokemon up until the craze from the Gold & Silver games died down sometime in 2001…but then restarted last year at the tail end of Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald and now with Diamond & Pearl i’m back up to full fledged Pokegeek.

Like that there’s currently 493 pokemon right now. And I’m pretty sure those sprites in the pokemon banner in the article are from the FireRed/LeafGreen games.

On my pearl game…I’m up to Victory Road. So close to the Elite 4! I just need to train a hell of a lot…

Oh and on the Pokemon front: a friend -who sometimes visits the site- makes the claim that Mewtwo could totally kick Optimus Prime’s ass. Any thoughts on the subject?

That all depends on which Optimus it is. If it was something like G1 optimus, or the original Optimus Primal, or even the new Movie Optimus, he’d kick some ass. But if it was one like…oh…An optimus from some of the recent series without all of his “combined” attachments, Mewtwo would so kick his ass.

Ghosted by Invader Norbert @ 06/30/2007 11:56 PM EDT

Mewtwo couldn’t kick Rodimus Prime’s ass, that’s for shizzle. Note that I am a horribly biased Roddy fanboy and was glad when Prime kicked it and Ultra Magnus had his shit blown to pieces.

I love you so much Wreck-Gar, but you put that fucking useless cunt back together, why??????

Ghosted by K- @ 07/01/2007 12:47 AM EDT

The last 2 posts are why I sat on the sidelines tonight.

Ghosted by The Manimal @ 07/01/2007 12:56 AM EDT

Marowak! My favorite! Awesome article. I wasn’t into the games, but I used to come home from school everyday and watch this show, at least until I got my first serious job and couldn’t anymore. I always preferred Jesse, James and Meowth to Ash and the gang, though.
Happy SNT guys.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 07/01/2007 1:03 AM EDT

Manimal: We could add a third topic.

I’ll start by saying that I’m really happy about the new seasons of Entourage and Big Love.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/01/2007 1:03 AM EDT

kb: I just turned off some of the blog functions which may have been causing that problem. It seemed that some anti-spam things were blocking more good comments than actual spam.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/01/2007 1:08 AM EDT

G1 Optimus Prime would totally own Mewtwo…

In regards to the article, I was in third grade when Pokemon first came out and it rocked my socks. I remember I was so exited when I finally found some Pokemon toys. I bought every mini-figure from the first wave. You know the ones that came with master balls. Shortly after the Pokemon movie I lost interest though. Meeril, or whatever that blue Pikachu’s name was, was cool but Christ. They just kept adding more and more.

Ghosted by Darth Poop @ 07/01/2007 1:08 AM EDT

SHUT UP

THE CHIPS ARE GOOD

YOU BASTARD!

Ghosted by Shawn @ 07/01/2007 1:13 AM EDT

To each his own, but I preferred Clamato chips to these.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/01/2007 1:18 AM EDT

I’m more of a Tato Skins kinda gal. Cheddar & Bacon 4EVA!

Ghosted by Mystie @ 07/01/2007 1:20 AM EDT

Interesting Darth Poop fact:

Anything fried gives me the runs, except for potato chips. Now you know!

Ghosted by Darth Poop @ 07/01/2007 1:23 AM EDT

Tato Skins are a commodity around these parts, and by that I mean, stores no longer sell them. Whenever we travel and spot a deli with the right touch of magic, most of our luggage consists of sealed bags of Tato Skins.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/01/2007 1:24 AM EDT

Matt -

So far Entourage has been top notch this season. The first episode, with its mockumentary approach, was outstanding. I’m really looking forward to tonight’s episode to see how Vince takes it when Kevin breaks the news that he thought Medellin was not the blockbuster they had hoped it would be. Or at least it isn’t yet, before editing.

What I really wanted to say however is this… Have you checked out Flight of the Conchords? I DVR’d the second episode of the season last Sunday and immediately had to follow that with going back to watch the first episode which, thankfully, is on On-Demand. (Also on On-Demand has a nifty 30-minute live show the two guys put on at some theatre in NY – also gold)

Anyway, since you are already watching Entourage, then I hope you stick around and check out that show. I thought it was pretty brilliant.

Has anyone else gotten a chance to sample the Kiwi-comedy samplings of Bret and Jemaine?

Ghosted by Magic Toe @ 07/01/2007 1:24 AM EDT

Yeah, Entourage was really getting away from its supposed concept before this season began, and while still a great buddy comedy, I much prefer what we’re getting this season: Real Hollywood crap. The chain of episodes where Vince switched to the hot agent seem really out of place and irrelevant now.

Big Love is a tougher sell for most people, but it’s so well acted and written that it’s tough not to fall for.

I haven’t seen Flight of the Conchords outside of that one promo which unfortunately did nothing for me, but hey, before Entourage debuted, I hated its promos, too. I’ll give it a looksie.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/01/2007 1:30 AM EDT

Mystie -

Tato Skins are the absolute best snack in existence. Or at least firmly on the top-10 list.

I had nearly forgotten entirely of their existence until I blissfully rediscovered them in the lone vending machine in my college dorm. For four straight years my entire diet (post 10 PM) consisted of Tato Skins, Snickers bars, and cans of Tropicana OJ.

This is of course excluding the rare occasion where we found a sober kid to drive us to Denny’s.

Ghosted by Magic Toe @ 07/01/2007 1:31 AM EDT

Matt… do give it a look. I really didn’t think much of it from the previews either. I was setting my DVR to record the latest Entourage episode and decided to give it a go. I am glad I did.

If you can… watch episode #2 first. Then backtrack to the first. That is how I did it. It seemed to work.

Ghosted by Magic Toe @ 07/01/2007 1:34 AM EDT

Fixed some spam settings, huh? Let’s see if this works.

Ghosted by Knegative @ 07/01/2007 1:40 AM EDT

Manimal: I’m having a hard time finding a common ground on this thread too. But I think I am just getting old. I just realised this today, I guess. I mean I spent 15 minutes in the tea isle at the grocery store looking for the perfect sleepy tea, my favorite show on TV now is Little People, Big World (I like watching little people play soccer), my hangovers are now two days long, I read for fun, I would buy Triscuits before Doritos, I recently developed a taste for grapefruit, I listen to NPR: All Things Considered, and I have an investment portfolio. This is terribly depressing to realise.
So I have no opinion about Pokemon either. It’s still a good read.

Ghosted by Bill @ 07/01/2007 1:41 AM EDT

“Boy oh boy mom you sure can hydrate a Pizza!”

(maybe the best movie line EVER)

Ghosted by Chris D. @ 07/01/2007 1:42 AM EDT

So, I’m to believe that you’ve never seen TF: The Movie, Manimal? I can understand never jumping the Poketrain, but I find it hard to believe you can’t talk TF.

Maybe you just mean combining the two. You really only need to know about one combatant in a fantasy duel. The rest is all bias. Now, I do happen to know that Mewtwo is a very powerful pokemon, but I don’t need to know how strong to just say that a character that I know and love will beat them into a pulp.

Sure you can try to be scientific about it (a la the Goku vs. Superman article) but at the end of the day it all comes down to “my guy’s better than yours.”

Ghosted by Knegative @ 07/01/2007 1:49 AM EDT

I’m so jealous of all of you that have so many television shows to enjoy… the only show that I am utterly hooked on is Supernatural. Watching it is also awkward sometimes, it is so chick oriented that I have to explain to my friends why I watch it: Creepy ass shit every Thursday. It is like a mini-movie…

Pokemon, wow, it has been a long time since I have thought about Pokemon. I too was one of those people who abandoned it after it went over 151.

Ghosted by Phil G. @ 07/01/2007 1:53 AM EDT

Oooh, I am effing LOVING the new Big Love. So far it looks like they’re avoiding the problem they had last season where nothing actually happened for huge stretches of time. The last two eps especially were mondo awesome. I just wish it was still on airing on Sundays, since they’re feeling pretty empty nowadays.

Entourage is great as always, though it still drives me nuts when they spend entire episodes or more on some conflict or another only to completely drop or reverse the storyline in the very next episode (to be fair, I’m lumping last “season” in when I say that, including the Carla Gugino as Vince’s agent storyline). If they don’t bring Sloane back for at least one more appearance I’m going to be so annoyed at the copout. I’m bitching, but it’s still one of my favorite shows. I’d watch even if it was The Turtle and Drama Show…featuring Lloyd.

Haven’t checked out Flight of the Conchords yet (or John from Cincinnati, but I’ve yet to be all that intrigued by that one) because I’m short of space on the DVR but I’ve been meaning to fire up the OnDemand.

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 07/01/2007 1:56 AM EDT

The Turtle and Drama Show…featuring Lloyd.

Throw Ari in and we have a deal. I could honestly do w/o Vince and E.

Ghosted by Knegative @ 07/01/2007 2:07 AM EDT

squee4242

Lloyd (from Entourage) is probably my favorite character in any television program. He is so well acted and steals EVERY scene he is in.

Ghosted by Magic Toe @ 07/01/2007 2:08 AM EDT

Squee: Definitely agree that BL needs to go back to Sundays. My brain will never recognize it as a Monday show. Especially because Mondays are usually for like, 24 and pro-wrestling. Hard to think of Mondays that way and remember the wacky drama about the little polygamists who could.

Bill: I hear you. I write about what I write about, then I go read encyclopedias and try to match cigars up with the right wine. I was going through the server and finding all this old stuff from when the site began in 2000, and I couldn’t believe how old it made me feel. It’s funny how quick real life springs on you. Now every big decision is less about “how will this make me feel today” and more about “how will this set me up for five years from now.”

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/01/2007 2:10 AM EDT

Grrr, I just realized that I referred to Eric’s character as Kevin (Kevin Connolly) in an earlier post.

Wow, that was dumb. Have another beer!

Ghosted by Magic Toe @ 07/01/2007 2:11 AM EDT

Matt, I wish their was a female version of you. You’re the only one that can satisfy my pokefetish.

Ghosted by Brett @ 07/01/2007 2:13 AM EDT

Kneg, I totally hear you. Especially now that they’ve eliminated the one thing that made Eric any different from the rest of the guys (Sloane). But Ari is really the best part of the show.
Hey Bill I love Little People Big World!

Ghosted by squee4242 @ 07/01/2007 2:23 AM EDT

I like the angry video game nerd reference, very good. Keep it up!!

Ghosted by james @ 07/01/2007 2:44 AM EDT

I too love the Roloff family! In fact I was watching it earlier today…

I can see the points about getting old from both Matt and Bill. I recently thought back to what I was doing 10 years ago and it felt odd. I would not say I feel old, so to speak, just amazed that that much time has passed.

But I think it’s all about balance. If you’re doing things you enjoy because you enjoy them, not because you feel like at a certain age you should do them, then your not old, you just know what you like. It’s the people that feel like thay have to stop playing video games, walk down the toy aisle, or watch cartoons at 25 because they “are too old for that stuff”, even though they actually do enjoy those things, that seem like old people to me.

Ghosted by Shuanfu @ 07/01/2007 2:44 AM EDT

Shouldn’t you old folks be in bed with your heat packs by now? ;)

Ghosted by Mystie @ 07/01/2007 2:46 AM EDT

James: I’ve heard tons about AVGN, but have never actually watched the vids, so any reference is unintentional. :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/01/2007 2:47 AM EDT

Psssh, Squirtle is where it’s at. When he’s fully evolved he has freaking cannons inside his shell! Not to mention he can spit out backwashed stomach fluid with the power of a fire hose.

Ghosted by Ben @ 07/01/2007 2:58 AM EDT

Matt,

Up a few posts, as for the perfect movie, My Best Friend is a Vampire JUST finished. May I recommend Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town?

Ghosted by Cotter @ 07/01/2007 3:06 AM EDT

Someone linked the Angry Video Game Nerd the other day on Shrine and it was the first I’ve heard of him. I’ve watched just about all of his video’s now and have to say I love him dearly–even if his first ever was Simon’s Quest :P

I’ve also been watching MatrixPrime’s TF toy reviews. Makes me glad I did before I picked up Barricade and Ironhide. I’ve got enough nostalgia-sauce to ignore Jazz’s faults, but none whatsoever for those two. I think I’m done with the movie line. I’d like to get Classics Rodimus (actually Hot Rod) and Titanium Roddy but I’ll probably have to eBay those at this point.

Ghosted by K- @ 07/01/2007 3:07 AM EDT

You know, I thought it was just me making weird associations when I saw the Angry Video Game Nerd-esque line. At least I’m not alone ;) And Matt, you really must see the AVGN videos – they’re some of the funniest stuff I’ve seen (aside from your articles, of course). Btw, James – you wouldn’t happen to actually BE the AVGN, would you? Seems interesting with the name and the link, is all.

And to answer a question from a post from a little ways up the page – Johnny Depp as Spock is incredibly hard to picture. It could work though, since Depp can play such odd characters. Still – Star Trek??? Didn’t that stuff die out a while back?

And just to weigh in on another question – in the case of Optimus Prime v. Mewtwo, I would say that Optimus would sneak up on the pokemon as a truck, then suprise the shit out of him by transforming and then stepping on him before he had time to react. But that’s just me.

Ghosted by Frakkyfire @ 07/01/2007 3:14 AM EDT

Which line are you referring to? :)

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/01/2007 3:14 AM EDT

I agree with you, Matt–the first season of Pokemon is one of the best seasons of anything. I also have the DVD set. Get this–I got it for $21. Want to know how? Maaaybe I’ll tell you and maybe I won’t.

I found a typo, because I just tend to:
Ash’s Pokédex tells us that wild Pokémon and jealous of trained Pokémon
You mean “are.”

Oh yes, and today is my birthday. Everybody say “Happy Birthday” and make me feel significant!

Ghosted by Mars @ 07/01/2007 3:20 AM EDT

I can remember when the early Pokemon series hooked me. It was that early episode when Pikachu and that caterpillar one (the form before Metapod?) have a long chat under the stars using nothing but their names over and over. I watched and felt myself stagger: It was just . . . too cute!

To be honest, I actually preferred Digimon. Maybe because it kept its lineup down to a core handful among the characters without having to work in 150-plus creatures throughout. Although I wondered how the characters kept the names of their creatures straight when they transformed three or four times each episode . . . .

Ghosted by Alex @ 07/01/2007 3:20 AM EDT

The screenshot of gym leader Matt and his Mystery Peanut isn’t getting enough lovin’ :cry:

Ghosted by Knegative @ 07/01/2007 3:21 AM EDT

Mmm Digimon… fond memories of Fox Kids and UPN (now my 16/14/whatever) are coming back…

Good old TMNT… when they ate pizza more than saved the town… mmm…

Ghosted by Cotter @ 07/01/2007 3:22 AM EDT

Matt-

I recognized an AVGN reference, too. The line was the one at the end, Just wish they didn’t taste like the —hole of a dead skunk.” This is very similar to a line in the AVGN’s review of Back to the Future for NES, where he says something like, “I’d rather eat out the rotten —hole of a roadkilled skunk than play this game.” Was that really James Rolfe who posted? That would be awesome if it was.

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 07/01/2007 3:32 AM EDT

Oh, in the Doritos review…I thought we were talking about Pokemon. As I’ve made several references to animal rectums in the past, I feel comfortable leaving this one as is.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/01/2007 3:35 AM EDT

Personally, Cotter, I prefer the time before UPN and WB and CW and MyTV splattered all over the airwaves. But that’s mainly because I remember watching KCOP, which would constantly drive into my skull that it was VERY INDEPENDENT. Plus that was the station that showed He-Man and She-Ra and Rambo!

Ghosted by Alex @ 07/01/2007 3:35 AM EDT

Eh, fuck it, I’m changing “skunk” to “bear” to avoid confusion. Let them have their skunks.

Ghosted by Matt @ 07/01/2007 3:38 AM EDT

Ah. X-E and AVGN, together at last. Just like Nuts n’ Gum on the Simpsons.

Ghosted by Hoverbored @ 07/01/2007 3:42 AM EDT

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