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Summer Megaparty: Pokemon, and bad Doritos!

I live to be shocking, so here's a new article, exploring, recapping and reviewing the very first episode of the Pokémon cartoon series. Special care was taken to put that little squiggly line above the "e" over 200 times in this article, and I hope you appreciate that. The genesis of this one is that I got the first season on DVD and can't believe how well the series still holds up. It's written more or less for people who know nothing about Pokémon, so my apologies to anyone who really didn't need an explanation of what a Pokéball was. But you know what? You'll live.


Seems like as good a time as any to get this out of the way. I know it's old news by now, but it just didn't feel right to not archive the Doritos X-13D Flavor Experiment chips on the site. Basically, it's a wonderful promotion of an unnamed "mystery flavor," in which junk food lovers are supposed to suggest names for a chip that was clearly based on a cheeseburger.

It's pretty unbelievable...they taste just like McDonald's cheeseburgers. While "beef flavoring" is a listed ingredient, what you'll really take home from X-13D chips is the strong flavor of pickles, ketchup and mustard. Knowing that, they're pretty terrible once you take away their fancy clothes. I assume Doritos has no choice but to release the chips with whatever name is decided upon when the promotion ends, but I don't expect them to last much longer than that. They're putrid.

Putrid...like a fox. Twenty years from now, when the Internet comes in special edition colors and is capable of cooking steaks for you, upstart nostalgia websites will likely pay tribute to Doritos X-13D chips. These would've made an incredible impression as me as a child, but even as an adult, I can appreciate eating from a bag that looks like a leftover prop from Back To The Future Part II. Just wish they didn't taste like the asshole of a dead bear.

Posted by Matt on 06/30/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 134 comments

aw mang i havent tried those new chips but now i want to.

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 06/30/2007 7:42 PM

That last line should be Knowing is half the battle. I’m a little drunk…at the moment.

Chestnuts roasted by Mufu @ 06/30/2007 7:44 PM

Wow! A new review. It’s been a while since I’ve seen one on X-E.

Personally, I think your review are some of your best articles. I’d like to see you do more of them, but I suppose they’re a lot of work.

I’ve begun to enjoy some anami, mostly Cowboy Bebop and Full Metal Alchemist. But I’m never been much into Pokemon. After reading the article I may pick up the first season of Pokemon and check it out.

Chestnuts roasted by Doug @ 06/30/2007 7:44 PM

Okay, now to comment on the article itself. Perfect review :) I always love the X-E take on stuff, and this was no exception at all; I think my favourite was the ‘motherfucking pimp’ line. I do hope that there are more reviews of later episodes, as it seems to be more interesting than I remember. Or maybe I just like Matt’s comments on it.

On a strange note, did anyone else think that the font Matt used (the futuristic one) looked like the language of the Visitors in V: the Miniseries?

Chestnuts roasted by Frakkyfire @ 06/30/2007 7:47 PM

The font is actually a knockoff on the font Disney uses for Space Mountain. ;) But yes, it does look rather V-ish as well.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/30/2007 7:58 PM

Thanks everybody for leaking the secret of these Doritos, because they sound horrible. I eat my burgers plain anyway, so the condiment combination is totally grossing me out. I don’t want to think about hamburgers when I’m eating Doritos.

Chestnuts roasted by Rainbowfeet @ 06/30/2007 8:13 PM

It’s not a male Nidoran, it’s a Nidorino.

*runs*

Chestnuts roasted by Person @ 06/30/2007 8:15 PM

It says Nidorino in the article! It always has!

Okay it didn’t, I goofed. I apologize.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/30/2007 8:17 PM

Your male Nidorino is showing. :O

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 06/30/2007 8:23 PM

Man, reading a Pokemon article written by Matt is almost nostalgic in itself cuz I can remember doing the same thing when I was seriously back in high school.

Heh, I remember going to Otakon ’97 and seeing all these horrible little yellow rats all over the place and wondering what the flying fuck they were. It wasn’t until shortly before the Pokemon beanies were released at KFC that I caught onto the craze, which was right around fall ’98 I think. My first boyfriend and I each had a Pocket Pikachu and we’d sit around tapping the fuckers all day and only set them down so we could make out on the couch while his parents were gone.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 06/30/2007 8:33 PM

I’ve never been sedused be Pokemon but I am glad that Matt has taken the time to educate me. Now I can finally hang out with Pokemon fans. I don’t know any but I’m looking.

Matt, are you still rockin’ the Pokemon inspired tattoo or did you add to it to make an X-E collage? I have a Led Zeppelin tattoo that was John Paul Jones symbol. It was cool until that assclown Riverdance came out with that exact symbol. :(

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 06/30/2007 8:38 PM

Hey Matt, where did you find those sprites for the Pokemon article banner? Some of them are from Pokemon Green (which was revamped for America as Pokemon Blue, but you probably new that), but colored as if from a GBA game. Whatever sprite sheet you pulled that from, I want it too. =D

Chestnuts roasted by RageTreb @ 06/30/2007 8:38 PM

Just Googled my way into them, so I honestly have no idea. :) They didn’t come from one sheet, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/30/2007 8:43 PM

Also, as you may have guessed, this thread doubles as the SNT. :)

Ain’t shit going on tonight. I need the perfect movie and the perfect cup of coffee.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/30/2007 8:58 PM

Go see 1408. Best horror movie I have seen in the theatre since….I don’t know. I am so used to being let down. This was great! A+

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 06/30/2007 9:07 PM

Awwww man, I wish I had some money to go see Transformers on Monday. Even if I did, I wouldn’t go without my man, though…

Anyway, I didn’t realize there were so many Oklahomans here. I hardly ever see other Oklahomans on the web.

Chestnuts roasted by Annette @ 06/30/2007 9:12 PM

I don’t know anything about POKEMON (still a good elementary overview article though)nor have I tried the chips (Mrs. Manimal HATES Doritos) so I guess I am out of action tonight. :(

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 06/30/2007 9:18 PM

Hmm… when I ate the chips I did not taste McDonald’s cheeseburger, but Zapp’s Spicy Creole Tomato Tabasco chips. Now, I don’t know if those chips are available anywhere outside of Louisiana, but they taste exactly like the Doritos. And even though I didn’t like either brand, I was still compelled to eat the entire bag. Something about them…

And Matt, thanks for taking me back to when I was 9 years old and obsessed with Pokemon. I love this site to death, so it’s nice when my born-in-1989 self can join in on the nostalgia.

Chestnuts roasted by Nikki @ 06/30/2007 9:21 PM

I was hooked to Pokemon after seeing the episode where Metapod turns into Butterfree. I loved cute little Butterfree and they way he said his name. Buta FRREEEEE!!

Now here I am, 25 years old and I have been playing the crap out of Pokemon Diamond. Today I purchased Pokemon Stadium for Wii. You cannot imagine my glee to see my bad ass Blastoise in it’s full 3d Wii glory The best part is that I get to actually battle other people in the world through the Wii’s internet.

Chestnuts roasted by Empare @ 06/30/2007 9:25 PM

Those Doritos were pretty awful. The kind of awful that you must keep shoving them into your face cause the taste of so peculiar. I have never had knowledge in Pokemon, and still do not. But the article did clear up a bit.
I totally posted yesterday during blog hiatus, but it didn’t show. I am still counting it. Glad it’s all back up and running ;)

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 06/30/2007 9:58 PM

OK, update to my first post. I just finished watching Black Snake Moan and it was unexpectedly one of the better movies I’ve seen it quite some time.

I know the recommendation of a stranger on the internet is basically worthless, so I expect most probably won’t see this because I liked it. However, I hope if you were thinking of seeing it before, this positive take will maybe be what pushes you over the edge.

Very good movie. There was a lot more to it than I expected. I suppose it was perfect that I popped it in to the DVD player with very little background information on the movie. I had seen the television commercials a few months ago and that was it.

They marketed it as an exploitation movie… and it is somewhat that… but much more.

Sorry for rambling. I just really enjoyed it.

Chestnuts roasted by Magic Toe @ 06/30/2007 10:08 PM

I never got into, or understood, Pokémon and the surrounding craze. It could be that I was in college at the time and more interested in getting drunk than playing RPG’s. Unless, of course, it’s Harry Potter related. I find myself wasting hours doing silly tasks on the Harry Potter games.

JLAJRC: I was actually quite fond of Pizzaria’s. My mother and I were devestated when Keebler stopped producing them. I know they were picked up by another company, but apparently we don’t get them in Kentucky.

Chestnuts roasted by iAMYou @ 06/30/2007 10:25 PM

I used to absoutely LOVE Pokemons… Then a friend of mine borrowed the cartridge and beat the game several times, kept it for over a month, lost a box with irreplacable pokemons in it with GameSharking… Needless to say he didn’t get hold of my Pokemon Gold cartridge. Though I never actually beat that game… The depth was overwhelming.

Chestnuts roasted by DocDragon @ 06/30/2007 10:29 PM

I back Bill up on the 1408 suggestion…that movie rocked.

I also saw the new Die Hard. Have you seen Terminator 3? It’s a sequel like that: it tries to be like the last one, but just can’t quite get up to it’s levels…and you leave the movie thinking “did they really need to make that movie?” Don’t get me wrong, as it was enjoyable. But like Terminator 3 was enjoyable.

To prep for seeing Transformers on Tuesday we watched the original movie last night. I was surprised that I wasn’t the only one quoting the thing almost word for word ;) ; so much fun!

I was supposed to go to a bonfire (or barn fire…heh, old joke) tonight but decided to stay home; quilt of leaving the new kitty got the best of me I guess….

Hopefully, the SNT will be lively later tonight…

Oh and on the Pokemon front: a friend -who sometimes visits the site- makes the claim that Mewtwo could totally kick Optimus Prime’s ass. Any thoughts on the subject?

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 06/30/2007 10:34 PM

Here’s something that fits into this site that can get you in the summer vacation retro mood:

Tiny Toon Adventures, how I spent my summer vacation part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYWX6ztisKY

I am trying to avoid eating junk food so I’ll probably never eat the doritos which is kinda bad. I am totally curious. I also can’t afford 88 cents for a “big bag” or a lot more for the bigger bag. That’s mostly the reason.

Happy SNT everybody!!

oh yeah Nikki Welcome aboard, I have a cousin named Nikki her b-day is in ’88 so that’s cool, her birthday is August 31st so it’s coming up. I remember her b-day the most because if she was born a day later she would of had to wait another year to go to kindergarten. It was wild.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 06/30/2007 11:01 PM

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