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Summer Megaparty: Pokemon, and bad Doritos!

I live to be shocking, so here's a new article, exploring, recapping and reviewing the very first episode of the Pokémon cartoon series. Special care was taken to put that little squiggly line above the "e" over 200 times in this article, and I hope you appreciate that. The genesis of this one is that I got the first season on DVD and can't believe how well the series still holds up. It's written more or less for people who know nothing about Pokémon, so my apologies to anyone who really didn't need an explanation of what a Pokéball was. But you know what? You'll live.


Seems like as good a time as any to get this out of the way. I know it's old news by now, but it just didn't feel right to not archive the Doritos X-13D Flavor Experiment chips on the site. Basically, it's a wonderful promotion of an unnamed "mystery flavor," in which junk food lovers are supposed to suggest names for a chip that was clearly based on a cheeseburger.

It's pretty unbelievable...they taste just like McDonald's cheeseburgers. While "beef flavoring" is a listed ingredient, what you'll really take home from X-13D chips is the strong flavor of pickles, ketchup and mustard. Knowing that, they're pretty terrible once you take away their fancy clothes. I assume Doritos has no choice but to release the chips with whatever name is decided upon when the promotion ends, but I don't expect them to last much longer than that. They're putrid.

Putrid...like a fox. Twenty years from now, when the Internet comes in special edition colors and is capable of cooking steaks for you, upstart nostalgia websites will likely pay tribute to Doritos X-13D chips. These would've made an incredible impression as me as a child, but even as an adult, I can appreciate eating from a bag that looks like a leftover prop from Back To The Future Part II. Just wish they didn't taste like the asshole of a dead bear.

Posted by Matt on 06/30/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 134 comments
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Your HTML is showing on the article, a few paragraphs down.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 06/30/2007 6:23 PM

You make it sound so dirty!

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/30/2007 6:27 PM

Yay, Pokemon again! I was so sad a while (few years?) ago when other people around here said they were not interested in Pokemon.
And now, to read the article!

Chestnuts roasted by Papa_Taz @ 06/30/2007 6:33 PM

Guess I gota find these things and try them before people realize how bad the ytaste and they go away…

Looking forward to the Poke’ article….

Chestnuts roasted by Shuanfu @ 06/30/2007 6:45 PM

New Article! It’s just like old times!

Speaking of which…

http://www.archive.org/web/web.php

Good stuff to read old X-E articles and see what it used to look like. Wow it’s changed…

Chestnuts roasted by Cotter @ 06/30/2007 6:45 PM

Each species has its own set of strength and weaknesses, but they’re irrelevant, because everyone knows that you’re supposed to pick Bulbasaur. Frogs with trees growing out of their backs — like a Wuzzle crossbred with Jesus Christ.

Solid. fucking. gold. I will disagree with you on Misty, if only for my own vanity. I’m forever connected with May over at Shrine and I keep bringing back the avatar, though not the sig. I think it’s time I just resigned myself to the fact that I will always be thought of as an over-developed 10yr old girl :P

Pikachu fries her bike and she’s all like “the truth is I don’t even like Pokemon” and “which bag?” when there’s only one bag in front of her. Then Mudkip douses her instead of her target. Now THAT is a great first episode.

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 06/30/2007 6:46 PM

My favorite pokemon is still Meowth, Team Rocket flavor. Even if he was on the good guys’ side, he’d still be a smart-ass.

Awesome note to anyone near my side of Oklahoma, the local movie theater is going to show TransFormers Monday night at 8:00. I will do my best to go then, and take my nephew, who’s birthday is on the 4th. Nice way to celebrate turning 12 years. I hope we can get there early enough to snag good seats, its guaranteed to be crowded.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/30/2007 6:50 PM

The only flavor of Doritos I can eat is the original. I highly doubt I would buy “cheeseburger-flavored” Doritos no matter what they called it.
BTW, I just saw the funniest thing. My brother went to some yard sale today and picked up an old souvenir program for “Star trek: The Motion Picture”. The last page of the program carried an ad for OMNI magazine (is that even still around?) which made a quick mention of a (then) future issue that would highlight some behind-the-scenes stuff on The Empire Strikes Back. The funny thing was, and I had never seen this before, was that the ad referred to the movie as “Star Wars II”.

Chestnuts roasted by Thomas @ 06/30/2007 6:53 PM

I got my Pokemon Indigo League Season One (part one…those bastards) on Christmas morning. I had succeeded in watching every episode (9 hours worth) by the time we cut the Christmas ham. Then I felt kinda bad and kinda awesome about myself. So what did I do to find the balance between the two? Started watching the Pee Wees Playhouse season 2 boxset that I got. The only qualm I’ve ever had about the Pokemon series is the new Team Rocket: Butch & Cassidy. They suck. Their “remixed” Rocket theme sucks. Their voices suck. They’re not Jesse & James. I hate hate hate them.

Chestnuts roasted by Brian @ 06/30/2007 6:57 PM

We never see what happens to the Spearows following this, but I’m taking that to mean that they’re all dead.

If I remember correctly, that initial Spearow evolved into a Fearow and gave Ash and Pikachu shit on an episode where they returned home.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 06/30/2007 7:02 PM

Those Doritos are so bad. My husband and I bought a bag maybe a month ago and as soon as I put it in my mouth I knew it was a McDonald’s cheeseburger. It’s that distinct onion/pickle/ketchup thing, and it’s gross.
All that to say I feel quite validated by your review. We couldn’t even finish the bag.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 06/30/2007 7:03 PM

But what of the other Spearows? Tell me they live!

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/30/2007 7:03 PM

Those chips are better than anti lock breaks!

Chestnuts roasted by Scorpion @ 06/30/2007 7:10 PM

I remember when the local UPN affiliate started showing Pokemon back when I was in high school. Immediately hooked. But, like Matt, I gave up on Pokemon once they got past the original 151. I have been really tempted to pick up a copy of either Diamond or Pearl for the DS, though. Then I can get that Pokedex guide that goes with and learn all about the other 300+ that have come along since.

Because, y’know, I have no life.

Chestnuts roasted by Brian @ 06/30/2007 7:11 PM

I’ve seen these in stores a few times and have been tempted to grab a bag solely based on my exposure to them from this site. I’ve defeated the urge however and am still currently an X-13D virgin. Call me crazy, but a tortilla chip modeled after a McDonald’s cheeseburger sounds pretty disgusting. I suppose that could be half of the charm, but the looming threat of that aftertaste in my mouth cancels out any potential future glory of remembering, “hey, I remember eating those chips – I vomited!”

I picked up a few DVDs at Best Buy today. Black Snake Moan, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, and Imprint (this is a Masters of Horror short film by Takashi Miike that was banned! from cable – exciting, I know!).

Anyone seen any of these yet? Did I just throw away a few bucks? Oh well, wouldn’t be the first time. Something tells me I should crack open that bottle of whiskey over in the cupboard if I truly want to enjoy these films.

Ahh, who am I kidding? I opened it twenty minutes ago.

Chestnuts roasted by Magic Toe @ 06/30/2007 7:14 PM

I gotta disagree on the cheeseburger Doritos. I like them quite a bit. Still prefer Salsa and Taco, but they’re better than those crappy Buffallo Wings one they had a while back. I want to see them attempt pizza soon. Yes, they’re are/have been other pizza flavored chips before, but those sucked. Doritos would do it right.

Pokemon was pretty good for the first couple seasons, but when they kept interchanging Brock and Misty for those other ones, I lost interest quickly. Heck, they’re were even a couple that made me tear up slightly.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 06/30/2007 7:19 PM

A new article!! WZWEOHOWEJI!!! I must celebrate…with Johnny Depp! Well, I was going anyway, but I’ll pretend it’s an X-E celebration just for you, Matt. I can’t freaking wait until Halloween season – scary movies, costumes, Halloweeny kitsch, etc. etc. are some of my favourite things! If I get this excited about a Pokemon article (I’m not a huge fan of the show, though I watched it occasionally when I was younger), I can only imagine what I’ll be like in October. Rabid, most likely.

Chestnuts roasted by Frakkyfire @ 06/30/2007 7:19 PM

I still haven’t played Diamond or Pearl, I really wish I had it now. Sadly, I just don’t have that kind of money, the kind that can buy things.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 06/30/2007 7:20 PM

I’m with you, Matt. At first I was insulted by the whole premise of the X-13D experiment. You want me to BUY a bag of chips that aren’t even NAMED, just so you can try out some crappy flavor on my unwitting tastebuds? Then I was intrigued by the chance to name them and be a part of history. One chip was all it took — so obviously a cheeseburger flavor — and the rest of the bag sat in the kitchen until I threw it away a few days ago. Bleggh.

Chestnuts roasted by Shelby @ 06/30/2007 7:21 PM

By the way, if you have a year and a half to kill while it loads, you should check out doritos.com They’ve done a heckuva job with the animations there.

Chestnuts roasted by Shelby @ 06/30/2007 7:23 PM

I told ya they tasted like burgers!

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 06/30/2007 7:26 PM

Like Matt, I got into Pokemon because my younger brother was into it at the time. My parents still didn’t have cable in 1997, so I ended up taping many early episodes for him at college and got hooked. (I wonder if Mom still has those tapes?) I have fond memories of taking him to see the first two movies, and I still have all the Pokemon toys I bought in college (including the collectable mini-Pokemon my ex-boyfriend gave me as a college graduation present).

Also like Matt and many of you, I lost interest when the show went past the initial 151 and I got out of college and no longer had daily access to new episodes. I might end up looking for the Indigo League DVD set myself; some of my favorite times with my brother involved playing “Pokemon” videos or the actual card game or playing with his tons of Pokemon toys.

I’ve been wondering just what was up with those Doritos and why the packaging looks like a reject from a bad mad scientist movie. I’ve sold them for a couple of weeks now at the grocery store where I work. I don’t like Doritos at all and I’m on a diet, so I won’t be trying them any time soon, and from what Matt says, it’s just as well.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 06/30/2007 7:32 PM

I never watched that show past when Ash’s asshole Charizard wouldn’t fight at the tournament.
Did he ever get down with Misty?

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 06/30/2007 7:35 PM

Did he ever get down with Misty?
Yes.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 06/30/2007 7:37 PM

Those “MYSTERY CHIPS” are horrible. Now I have never tasted ass, but I pretty sure it taste just like those chips. So if you tasted ass, X-13D is for you. Pokemon is so 1999. I have moved on to porn, and buddy that never gets old. Know is have the battle.

Chestnuts roasted by Mufu @ 06/30/2007 7:42 PM

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