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My dying wish is for an owl/camel hybrid, which I call camowl.

Summer Megaparty: Wildwood’s Dinosaur Beach!

Longtime readers know of my love affair with Wildwood, New Jersey. Everything about that place warms me, but people don't go to Wildwood for anything other than its famous 2.5 mile long boardwalk, home to hundreds of shops, arcades, carnival games and rides. Realizing that those unfamilar will have a hard time envisioning what I'm about to describe, I drew up a handy diagram:


Speaking generally, the long boardwalk is where all of the games, restaurants and arcades are. If you're looking for 99 cent stores or an Orange Julius, that's where you go. The piers are where the rides are kept, and most of the piers run by different companies, each with different rides and a distinct flavor. Some of the piers have had different owners through the years, each bringing new ideas and visions for what Jersey shore vacationers would be willing to blow money on. Over the course of the last half of a century, this setup has meant that Wildwood has cycled through hundreds upon hundreds of rides -- probably ten times as many as Disney World has ever hosted.

Trying to sum up decades of history as quickly as I can, a company purchased a flailing pier in the 1990s, hoping to reinvent it and reinvigorate profits. Up until that point, the boardwalk's piers were just areas with random rides that didn't fall under any set "theme." This particular mystery company had something different in mind. Riding the popularity wave of hot dinosaur action set by Jurassic Park and its sequel, a new pier sprung from the abyss and promised to put thrill-seekers face to face with terra cotta dinosaur statues.


Yes, in 1996, the doors opened to Wildwood's newest pier...Dinosaur Beach! The pier only lasted for two years and never managed to become much more than a point-and-laugh-at business venture, but as an eternal dinosaur lover, I was down to party.

There were very few new rides at Dinosaur Beach. Instead, they just kept whatever was leftover by the pier's previous owners and refurbished existing attractions with a dinosaur theme. Since we Wildwood fans are mostly purists who hate seeing the town evolve, I was happy to see some of the rides of my childhood get a second shot at the spotlight.


The "Long Neck Log Flume" and "Raptor Rapids" had each existed at the pier for over a decade prior to Dinosaur Beach's debut. All the new company did was fix the leaks, paint the walls and add prehistoric-looking foliage. This may seem cheap, but it had its appeal. Like when your family paints over its hideous '80s wallpaper -- you're happy that they finally got around to doing that, but you're also happy that you can feel the floral wallpaper print beneath those fresh coats of burnt sienna. Not the kind of analogy that I'd seek a trophy for, but I hope it makes sense.

"Raptor Rapids" was originally known as "Rampaging Rapids." That ride opened in 1985, tucked away at the far end of the pier, almost over the ocean. It was probably the first real water ride I ever went on. Changing time and time again as new owners took control of the pier, the Dinosaur Beach version added a bunch of raptor statues that threatened to bite any rafters stupid enough to drift too close.

The final ride pictured above was one of Dinosaur Beach's only truly custom experiences. "Escape From Dinosaur Beach" was a dark ride in which passengers rode in little safari jeeps through parts unknown, fending off gigantic audio-animatronic dinosaurs along the way. Strangely, the ride looked pretty lame from the outside; you'd never know just how nuts it was inside from looking at the ride facade. Ride facades = the ride "fronts" that you see when deciding which one to spend tickets on. Facades were beyond important in Wildwood, and with something better than a couple of steel walls and signage, maybe "Escape From Dinosaur Beach" could've helped the burgeoning pier survive for longer than thirty-three hours.

Dinosaur Beach didn't have many rides compared to the more popular boardwalk piers, and of those I'm not mentioning, most were just regular fare not at all relating to dinosaurs. And not very good ones, for the most part. As cool as I'm finding the dino theme in retrospect, it was far from a grace during the pier's heyday. Older riders wrote it off as a kids-only park, but many kids were scared off by the thought of giant dinosaurs attacking the merry-go-round. Fortunately for the mystery owners of Dinosaur Beach, they had a little ace in their pocket called "The Golden Nugget."


(side view) - (from a mile away view)

The Golden Nugget has a rich history on the Wildwood boardwalk. It was built in the 1960s and survived several different owners to become one of Wildwood's most cherished attractions. Growing up, it was always the first ride on my list, and was usually the only ride I went on more than once during a trip. Kind of a mix between a roller coaster and a dark ride, you'd sit in tiny carts that zipped through caves filled with spooky animatronics (mangy gold diggers, skeletons and the like), with special bonuses like a spinning crystal cavern that made passengers feel like they were riding upside-down. It was basically a combination of sights, props and tricks from every dark ride you've ever been on, put to an old Western theme.

Best of all was a sequence where your cart rolled around a little track on top of the Nugget, offering breathtaking views of the boardwalk at large from the most desolate, quietest spot possible. My friends and I once vowed to break in at night and sleep up there. Never got around to it, but I guess we still could: The Golden Nugget still stands today, in the same exact spot. It's not active and probably needs a lot of work to get that way, but Wildwood purists aren't giving up hope that somehow, someway...the Nugget will ride once more.

When Dinosaur Beach opened, the Golden Nugget remained one of the pier's top rides...only now, dinosaur props had replaced some of the ride's visuals. Where strange statues of miners chipping away at fake rocks once stood, now passengers got to snap photos of nondescript upright dinosaurs who squawked like crows. Though much of the Nugget's original innards remained intact, longtime fans of the ride took a figurative shit on all the changes Dinosaur Beach implemented. To be honest, it never really bothered me. Adding raptors and tiny Triceratopsesesess to a display of old Western skeletons playing the piano is the kind of insane dichotomy that makes me tick.

So what happened to Dinosaur Beach? It's currently owned by the Morey's company folks, who nearly have a monopoly on Wildwood amusement rides these days. They haven't done much with the pier in recent years -- it's mainly there for storage space, save for a few go-kart tracks, and the aforementioned standing-but-dead Golden Nugget ride.

Dinosaur Beach opened almost in sync with The Lost World's theater debut. But fads that come from movies are short-lived, and by 1998, dinosaurs were far from the cultural icons they had been even just a year prior. With a dead theme, not enough rides and severe money troubles, Dinosaur Beach closed up shop forever, living on only in small online tributes and the occasional search through archive.org for remnants of its 1997 website.

Wildwood's ride history is pretty fascinating, and if you're interested in learning more about its fallen fun times, I suggest checking out Mr. Boardwalk and Fun Chase, mainly because I stole a few images from them to make this post.

Might seem like a weird thing to write about, but as this site is mainly a collection of the pieces of me, I put it up proudly and buy Ashlee Simpson's #1 hit from iTunes without a trace of irony.

Posted by Matt on 06/27/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 162 comments

Hells yeah on the Great State Fair of Oklahoma! Haven’t been the past couple years, but it is a fine example of Foxworthy’s joke about when you start to think your family is teh suck. Just go to a county or state fair, and ganderize the local yokels. You will feel most fortunate when you see the families of oddballs that are allowed to be out in public. Heck, I might have seen Mr. Nork there and not known it.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/28/2007 1:54 PM


“Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer” — Nat King Cole
“Sunny Afternoon” — The Kinks
“Going Up the Country” — Canned Heat
“See You in September” — The Happenings
“Dancin’ in the Streets” — Martha and the Vandellas (2nd)
“Palisades Park” — Freddy “Boom Boom” Cannon (2nd)
“Tequila” — The Champs (2nd?)
“The Lion Sleeps Tonight” — The Tokens
“The Wanderer” — Dion (Runaround Sue is also acceptable)
“Summer Wind” — Ol’ Blue Eyes
“Here Comes Summer” — Jerry Keller

There are plenty more, but I don’t want to be greedy.

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 06/28/2007 1:58 PM


Oh, ok, just a few more.

“Party Lights” — Claudine Clark
“The Locomotion” — Little Eva
“Only in America” — Jay and the Americans

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 06/28/2007 2:02 PM


K- That was a great story that you posted- I laughed. It reminds me- apparently Harwell and McGrath got “S” tattoos together once. And apparently the two bands were recording a song together at one time recently- don’t know what the status is on that. Vice bands coming together- it makes the world a better place. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Rainbowfeet @ 06/28/2007 2:37 PM


ok i realize i’ve become quite the poster, but i’m making up for reading Matt’s blogs for years and never saying a word. and I just want to put this out there…The Spice girls are reuniting for a World tour! (insert reactions of disgust or glee here) and in honour of said world tour, I think a Spice Girl song should be zig-a-zig-ahhed onto that jukebox baby. I feel like its the summer of ’96 all over again.

Chestnuts roasted by ellaenchanted @ 06/28/2007 3:23 PM


Mary Mary

Glad I can entertain ;)

Seems that most of my stories that can get a laugh aren’t jokes at all, but stories based off memories. I still don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad, because quite often I’m questioning if people are laughing with me, or at me.

kingklash

Not to sound like a douchey fuck stick, but if you’ve ever seen the guy at the OK State Fair who looks like they’ve recently ran their clothes through the wash cycle and also has a hold on personal hygeine, then that was me.

I know I’ve probably asked this before, but where were you from again?

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 06/28/2007 3:55 PM


I am here in rainy Anadarko, Indian Capitol of the Nation. Home of the American Indian Exposition, the premier event for greyhound races, War Dance Championships, Frybread Contests, and more Indian Tacos than even Jabba the Hutt could eat. Did I mention it’s raining here? Last time we had this much water from the sky, the river left town.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash might have to swim home @ 06/28/2007 4:18 PM


Here are a few of my summer songs. Atleast the ones I can recall anyway.

“Summertime Girls” – Y&T
“On a Day Like Today” – Bowes & Morley
“Gone With the Summer” – House of Mirrors

Oh and am I the only one that finds abandoned amusement park rides, or even old pictures of those rides that no longer exist – to be really spooky/creepy? Old abandoned malls and shopping centers and department stores have the same strange weirded out effect on me . Yet i Love reading about them…. strange.

Chestnuts roasted by kittygirl @ 06/28/2007 4:37 PM


kingklash

Anadarko isn’t too far at all from me, I’m in Midwest City, though you may have already known that. Yes, this rain absolutely sucks. I like when it storms and all, but I would like to be able to get outside and do something active.

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 06/28/2007 4:48 PM


My best memories of boardwalks come from the East Coast. As a kid we went to Ocean City MD and I remember having a blast on their boardwalk.

West Coast “boardwalks” have a very different feel to them. The ones I now visit in San Diego or LA are nice, but they can’t compare to what’s back East.

Maybe it’s just the fading memories I have, but there’s just something about a good old Eastern boardwalk.

Chestnuts roasted by Doug @ 06/28/2007 4:54 PM


ellaenchanted: Much as I hate to say it, you’re right. The Spice Girls do have an undeniably summery flava.

kittygirl: I assume you’re already an avid reader of deadmalls DOT com, then. One of my favorite sites to browse through at three in the morning when I’m looking for something pleasantly creepy and melancholy.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 06/28/2007 4:55 PM


kittygirl

I know what you mean. I went on a photo-op one day and took some good shots of a playground merry-go-round and a horse swing in both sepia and black and white and they are some of the creepiest pics I’ve ever taken.

I think it’s just that they look so abandoned when they’re designed to have piles of laughing and playing children on them nonstop.

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 06/28/2007 5:01 PM


Hello, everyone! Kudos to whoever recommended “Palisades Park”! There have been some great suggestions in this thread. Although I’ve already given more than a fair share of song recommendations, I’ll recommend one more from the Beach Boys: “Our Sweet Love” from the “Sunflower” album. Most of you probably haven’t heard it, but it has a great airy feel to it, perfectly appropriate for the occasion. I highly recommend it, for those of you who have not heard it. I’m heading off to work now; I’ll be off at 11 p.m. PST. Hope to hear more from my fellow posters when I return!

Chestnuts roasted by Hoverbored @ 06/28/2007 5:26 PM


everyone has already come up really with really good suggestions. i only have one to add

holiday from real – jack’s mannequin

every time i’m driving out in california i play this song.
K-
So you like the new taking back sunday stuff, if this then is the case how do you feel about straylight run. since they are more or less the phoenix risen from the tell all your friends album more or less.

Chestnuts roasted by danny @ 06/28/2007 6:01 PM


Someone didn’t read horribly carefully :P

Album is a ghost trap. I don’t see myself buying anymore TBS. I do remember straylight runs hit from a while back. It was okay, but not exactlly my speed. Honestly, all I listen to these days is FOB&MCR. I haven’t heard anything new and stomachable in quite a while :cry:

Hell I don’t even like GD’s cover of Working Class Hero o_O

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 06/28/2007 6:18 PM


A few more suggestions…

State Fair-Rasputina
The Passenger-Iggy Pop or Lunachicks
Santeria-Sublime (already suggested a few times)

Chestnuts roasted by Big McLargehuge @ 06/28/2007 6:59 PM


Holy Shit- THIS is interesting…

http://blog.wired.com/underwire/2007/06/when-murder-is-.html

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 06/28/2007 7:05 PM


‘Workin’ for the Weekend’ – Loverboy
‘Down Under’ – Men at Work
‘Paradise City’ – Guns N Roses

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 06/28/2007 7:08 PM


Muppet Baby- Yeah, I just read that as well. Pretty bizarre.

Chestnuts roasted by Anonymous @ 06/28/2007 7:21 PM


Yeah, anon was me…

Chestnuts roasted by Big McLargehuge @ 06/28/2007 7:24 PM


Muppet Baby: Now I really want to write a pilot for a television show starring a hero who can see into the future, but can only communicate with the world at large through Wikipedia articles. So he’s trying to warn us all about these terrible crimes about to happen, and he’s constantly being thwarted by nitpicky Wikipedia editors asking for sources. Also, he has a pet mongoose. You know, for comedy relief in between the endless scenes of typing and interspersed bouts of frustrated weeping.

The only question is which network to pitch it to. And how to get Christopher Walken on board.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 06/28/2007 7:27 PM


I’m gonna second “The Tide is High”, “Saturday in the Park”, “Californication” and “Mr. Blue Sky”. Amazing summer songs.

I also wanna nominate one that other people may find terribly annoying, but I can’t resist including it because I love it SO MUCH: “The Age of Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In” by the 5th Dimension

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 06/28/2007 7:35 PM


Jedoc – i think i just peed a lil bit i was laughing so hard…i like that premise!

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 06/28/2007 7:50 PM


Jazzy: As an Aquarius I’m with you on 5th Dimension. That song always reminds me of my great Aunt Bethany. Imagine this: Your birthday, all your relatives and your crazy, elderly aunt singing the entire song “Age of Aquarius” all the way to “Let the Sunshine In” while you have to sit there smiling and the candles on the cake burn all the way down. Awkward.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill @ 06/28/2007 7:53 PM


Jedoc- I love it! Yes, Christopher Walken always does add that much needed touch of class…

jazzy- I secretly love that song too, and I am glad you said it!

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 06/28/2007 7:54 PM


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