I’m hearing loads of “mehs” and “blehs” in response to the new Transformers flick, but I dunno…you’ve gotta go into it without the expectation that this was made for Transfans, because it simply wasn’t. There are millions of Transformers fans, certainly, but there’s a big difference between someone who remembers those cooool transforming cars and someone who remembers that Autobot Seaspray talked funny and once had a human girlfriend. The movie was NOT made for the latter type of fan, because there are not enough of those fans to support a gigantic motion picture.
My take: With or without the Transformers ties, a big budget summer flick featuring robot cars pounding the shit out of robot airplanes is probably more worth seeing than debating. The fact that it has those ties is just gravy for those of us who care. Not saying it’ll be great, but unlike the Star Wars prequels, I’m not going to walk into the theater feeling like I’m owed what I wished for.
This is how I help myself hedge expectations when people tell me that it’s less a movie about Transformers and more a movie about John Turturro making balloon animals.
It’s with that perfect segue that I inform you of my latest ToyFare gig — I’m in issue #120, which is an all Transformers blowout, with a page-long feature about Transformers: The Movie. Not the new one. The old one. The one that’s animated. The one with a reverbing Wheelie. Read about the five best moments in the movie, along with sidebars on “Scramble City” and the age old dream battle of Unicron versus the Death Star. Looks like they had to chop out some copy to make space, but so long as the byline stands and the check clears, I’ll head into tomorrow just as convictionless as before.
I have to admit, I’m pretty pumped about the Summer Megaparty. (See the previous entry if you don’t know what in the fuck I’m talking about.) I’ve spent most of the night spinning in my chair, looking around my junkyard office for different things to write about. Then I thought about how I could hop in my car with my laptop, drive down the street and review the neighbor’s weird lawn ornaments. X-E became whatever it became, but it was built on the freedom to turn anything into content. I’m psyched.
I’ll probably let tomorrow slide without a new entry so we can enter the Megaparty cleanly, and knowing that, maybe it’s a good time for a survey.
In the comments, list five of your weirdest quirks. Don’t fake it. Think about the weird stuff you do, whether it paints you gold or black, and tell the world. Or at least, tell the small part of the world that sifts through comments on my blog. Here’s five of mine:
- I love V8 juice, but I hate drinking it whenever someone else is in the room. When I’m alone, I have visions of the Juiceman and of beautiful beds of tomatoes and parsley. When my concentration breaks, all I can think about is how there must be bits of soil and worms somewhere in the juice.
- I can write just as quickly upside-down and backwards as I can the standard way. Hard to explain, but picture me leaning across the table and writing you a note. You wouldn’t have to flip the paper over to read it. I’m very proud of this.
- I cannot tie shoelaces. I never learned how. I have trouble with most knots, but shoelaces especially. I rarely buy sneakers for this reason.
- I have absolutely no appreciation for music. I’ve listened to the same dozen or so artists/groups for the last decade. Nothing else can get in the rotation and I have no idea why.
- I’m left-handed, but unlike most left-handers, I’ve never been able to learn how to use scissors with my right hand. It makes me feel contorted. Thus, I’m very poor at cutting things out with scissors. Perhaps I should invest in a specialty scissor.
Your turn!
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I’m so late, but I want to get in on this anyway…
· Moths scare the living shit out of me, but I like butterflies.
· When I go to the store, I often “zone” or “face” the aisles. That means if there are things on the shelves that are out of order or otherwise disorganized, I fix them. I think it’s an old habit from when I worked in a grocery store.
· I seem to have stronger senses than anyone else I know. I often find myself asking people, “Do you see/hear/smell that?” and the other person usually looks at me as if I’m high or something.
· Small holes scare the hell out of me. Not all holes, just certain patterns. Like, these cat carriers we bought have ventilation holes in the sides and I CANNOT look at them or I start to have a panic attack.
· I HATE CHEESE. Nobody on the whole entire planet seems to understand this. I can only tolerate it when it’s mixed in with something else and melted. Cheese by itself or cold cheese, forget it. Also, I can’t stand the smell of it. It makes me want to puke. However, cheese-flavored things are okay, e.g. Cheetos, Cheez-Its, boxed mac and cheese.