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New ToyFare gig, plus QUIRKY SURVEY!

I'm hearing loads of "mehs" and "blehs" in response to the new Transformers flick, but I dunno...you've gotta go into it without the expectation that this was made for Transfans, because it simply wasn't. There are millions of Transformers fans, certainly, but there's a big difference between someone who remembers those cooool transforming cars and someone who remembers that Autobot Seaspray talked funny and once had a human girlfriend. The movie was NOT made for the latter type of fan, because there are not enough of those fans to support a gigantic motion picture.

My take: With or without the Transformers ties, a big budget summer flick featuring robot cars pounding the shit out of robot airplanes is probably more worth seeing than debating. The fact that it has those ties is just gravy for those of us who care. Not saying it'll be great, but unlike the Star Wars prequels, I'm not going to walk into the theater feeling like I'm owed what I wished for.

This is how I help myself hedge expectations when people tell me that it's less a movie about Transformers and more a movie about John Turturro making balloon animals.


It's with that perfect segue that I inform you of my latest ToyFare gig -- I'm in issue #120, which is an all Transformers blowout, with a page-long feature about Transformers: The Movie. Not the new one. The old one. The one that's animated. The one with a reverbing Wheelie. Read about the five best moments in the movie, along with sidebars on "Scramble City" and the age old dream battle of Unicron versus the Death Star. Looks like they had to chop out some copy to make space, but so long as the byline stands and the check clears, I'll head into tomorrow just as convictionless as before.

I have to admit, I'm pretty pumped about the Summer Megaparty. (See the previous entry if you don't know what in the fuck I'm talking about.) I've spent most of the night spinning in my chair, looking around my junkyard office for different things to write about. Then I thought about how I could hop in my car with my laptop, drive down the street and review the neighbor's weird lawn ornaments. X-E became whatever it became, but it was built on the freedom to turn anything into content. I'm psyched.

I'll probably let tomorrow slide without a new entry so we can enter the Megaparty cleanly, and knowing that, maybe it's a good time for a survey.

In the comments, list five of your weirdest quirks. Don't fake it. Think about the weird stuff you do, whether it paints you gold or black, and tell the world. Or at least, tell the small part of the world that sifts through comments on my blog. Here's five of mine:

  • I love V8 juice, but I hate drinking it whenever someone else is in the room. When I'm alone, I have visions of the Juiceman and of beautiful beds of tomatoes and parsley. When my concentration breaks, all I can think about is how there must be bits of soil and worms somewhere in the juice.
  • I can write just as quickly upside-down and backwards as I can the standard way. Hard to explain, but picture me leaning across the table and writing you a note. You wouldn't have to flip the paper over to read it. I'm very proud of this.
  • I cannot tie shoelaces. I never learned how. I have trouble with most knots, but shoelaces especially. I rarely buy sneakers for this reason.
  • I have absolutely no appreciation for music. I've listened to the same dozen or so artists/groups for the last decade. Nothing else can get in the rotation and I have no idea why.
  • I'm left-handed, but unlike most left-handers, I've never been able to learn how to use scissors with my right hand. It makes me feel contorted. Thus, I'm very poor at cutting things out with scissors. Perhaps I should invest in a specialty scissor.

Your turn!

Posted by Matt on 06/18/2007. E-mail me!



Discussion Thread: 381 comments

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You guys all rule. Seriously. I have had the absolute day from utter, complete and holy hell here at work, and coming here and reading everyone’s quirky quirks is about the only thing that’s cheered me up.

I lurve youse guys. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 06/19/2007 4:54 PM


6. When I burn CDs from MP3s, I have to make sure that all the tracks are the exact length as they are on the original album and that the exact amount of time is inbetween each track as the original album (the negative numbering).

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 06/19/2007 4:56 PM


Magic Toe

Ok, everytime somebody posts a new one, it reminds me of one of mine. I’m the same way with the toilet paper. I’m anal about a lot of things, toilet paper being hung sheet-side out is one of them.

One time my ex was cooking and she was using garlic powder and onion powder. Well the garlic powder is in a green label and the onion powder label is brown, with color coded lids. Well they’re the same size bottle, so technically it shouldn’t really matter, but I watched her put the brown onion powder lid on the green garlic powder lid and put them back in the spice cabinet. I must’ve lasted a whole 30 seconds before I had to get up and go change it around myself.

She asked what does it matter and my response was “I don’t know”. I honestly don’t know what the problem was, it’s not like a few tiny speckles of onion powder are going to taint a bottle filled of millions of garlic powder speckles. When it comes to certain things, I’m a perfectionist, and I think mis-matched lids just happens to be one of those things for me.

My TV-on-DVD has to be in order from oldest season to newest from left to right. I will “correct” other people’s collections to. I know it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter one damn bit, but for some reason I can’t stand to see it, it just makes things look un-organized and trashy, even though it’s not. Well, if anything, it’s not organized, but still.

If I’m walking with a group of people, I have to walk in the front. It doesn’t matter if out of a group of 8 people that 2 others are up front with me, I don’t necessarily have to look like the group leader or anything, and it doesn’t matter if I’m behind with 6 of the 8 people, I just can’t stand to not walk out in front of, or in line with, the people I’m with.

I, like most of you, are collectors. I have old birthday cards, old schoolwork, old toys, etc… All of which I don’t use, look at, or play with, but can’t seem to get rid of it. Like my daily “pull-a-sheet” (whatever they’re called) desktop calendar. It’s a Simpsons daily trivia calendar for the 2006 year that I got for Christmas from my brother in 2005. I put it on my desk at work and for example today is the 19th, I absolutely would not tear off the 19th at the end of the day, nor would I look past the current date at any future trivia questions. Every single sheet I tore off is located in a box in my bottom drawer of my filing cabinet. I would pull off a sheet and throw it into the box, and to this day, I haven’t looked at a single sheet since it was torn off the day after it expired, nor do I have any intentions to, but I refuse to throw them away.

When grocery shopping, I HATE when people leave their carts in middle of the aisle to walk halfway down one side of it to look at something they previously walked past. I will not think twice about walking just a bit faster following my current path (which is now partly blocked by their cart) and smashing through it like it just wasn’t there, causing a loud metal on metal shopping cart crash.

If any of you know what I’m talking about, try it… PLEASE! You most likely will not experience any greater form of satisfaction, EVER! The look on their face is priceless.

I guess I just can’t stand people who have no respect or consideration for others.

Well it’s quitting time for me and I have to mow the front and back yard and eat dinner with a friend before she leaves for a week long vacation tomorrow morning, that bitch.

Chestnuts roasted by fistpittingnork @ 06/19/2007 4:59 PM


1.) I also can’t tie my shoelaces and most other ties if my life depended on it.

2.) I think Return of the Jedi is better than Empire Strikes Back.

3.) My CD collection is very small and contains only comedy CDs and Soundtracks. In fact, my favorite one is the Muppet Show Anniversary Collection.

4.) I sleep in my clothes. Screw pajamas.

5.) Never been drunk because I think alcohol is overrated.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 06/19/2007 5:12 PM


Okay, if someone walks past me, I have to hold my breath because I don’t want to smell them, but then once they’re past, I’m instantly compelled to smell anyway.

I count steps going up and down, even once I’ve walked on my entire life. I can still tell you the porch to my old house growing up had three steps, and there were thirteen to go upstairs, and my apartment in Brooklyn had alternating 7 step/8 steps with a landing in between.

I hate mayo on sandwiches or burgers, but will make/eat a tuna sandwich with mayo with no problems.

I’m addicted to reading TV show transcripts from twiztv.com, and it’s driving me crazy that there’ve been no updates on shows I’m interested in for almost 8 months.

I clip my fingernails in the car on the way to work.

Chestnuts roasted by jokunok @ 06/19/2007 5:13 PM


6.) Sometimes I talk to my tv. It drives my mom crazy.

7.) Never seen an episode of the original Transformer or He-Man cartoon.

8.) I’m 26 and still learning to drive.

9.) I’m a wrestling fan. WWE 24/7 RULES!

10.) I still read comic books and always will.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 06/19/2007 5:27 PM


Man, this is a great thread! Just got home from work, and glad to see this is still going. I was thinking of some while working today…so here is my second series of 5:

6) I also must have water beside my bed every night. I rarely use it, but then there are the random nights where I drink the whole thing.

7) My DVDs have a strange order known only to me. I have them grouped in my own ‘categories’. Ex: feel good movies, 80s movies (includes a lot of early 90s ones that I feel deserve to be called ’80s’ instead), serious films, etc. My Bill Murray movies have their own section. I love him.

8) I am convinced that I will die young (probably because I have always been quite ill, first with Ulcerative Colitis, and now with Crohn’s Disease) Due to this, I am OBSESSED with taking photos. I document EVERYTHING. That way, when I go, my entire life is there to see, in albums clearly labeled. Ex: ‘University 3rd yr. Jan- April’ etc.

9) I am addicted to gum. I chew a pack a day.

10) Like someone else on here, I am constantly in motion. I will always be wiggling toes, shaking my legs, tapping my fingers onto the pads of my thumbs, etc.

*Bonus: I pace when I brush my teeth. I CANNOT stand still and brush.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 06/19/2007 5:31 PM


1. One of my legs is longer than the other one.
2. When I’m in the car, I look at the transition lines, (the short white lines that show you that you can still switch lanes) and I clench my teeth when One of them goes out of sight. (?)
3. I can’t type. I use 2 fingers.
4. I keep a book in my pants, always, in case I’m bored.
5. I’m addicted to gum. I buy 5 packs at the gas station, and I’m done with them the same day.

By the way, what happened to those x-E Mystery Boxes?

Chestnuts roasted by Ian @ 06/19/2007 5:33 PM


This is my third (I think?) ever post on this blog, but I had to share some of my quirks with you folks:

1) I cannot stand peach fuzz or fake fur like the one used on MOTU Panthor and Moss Man.

2) I have several memories of very troublesome childhood events, about stuff that happened when I was maybe 2 or 3 years old, like falling out of my dad’s moving car, being hit by electricity while playing with my mom’s sewing machine… The problem is, these things never happened.

3) If I’m watching a movie where someone has entered the room and left the door open, I start “feeling” the breeze coming from that open door.

4) I’m quite positive that common household appliances are “out to get me”, so whenever I’m using, say, a microwave, I’m imagining what’s the worst that could happen to me if it malfunctioned or – more likely – exploded.

5) This one is pretty tame – I never wear shoes or boots, only different types of sneakers all year long.

That’s all for now :)

Chestnuts roasted by Papa_Taz @ 06/19/2007 5:35 PM


Oh, I forgot two things.

I didn’t learn how to swim until I was 8.

I like popsicles, but I HATE the wooden stick, because I once bit one of the. The feeling of chewing a cold, watery stick is so disgusting that even the thought of it makes me shudder.

I shuddered twice while writing that.

Chestnuts roasted by Ian @ 06/19/2007 5:49 PM


Hey everybody: I don’t post all that often, but I’ve been killing a LOT of time at the office today reading everyone’s quirks, so I thought I’d divulge my own. That’s only fair, right?

1. I have absolutely zero interest in video games. I always enjoy Matt’s pieces on this site, and I still have the NES and Sega Master System from my youth, but all of this Wii/Xbox/Playstation/computer game business? Not my thing. Too expensive, too time-consuming, too overwhelming for a novice like me.

2. I jog five nights a week, and any time someone who looks somewhat like a ruffian is approaching from the other direction, running or walking, I’ll clench my fists in case I suddenly have to throw a punch to defend myself. Even though I’ve never been attacked and haven’t been in a fight since 5th grade. (I’m 28.)

3. I consider “The Andy Griffith Show” the greatest sitcom of all time. I even love the post-Don Knotts years passionately.

4. I don’t have a CD player in my car, or an iPod, even. Still getting plenty of use out of the old tape player and a couple hundred cassettes. Yet I collect CDs like a madman; I have a few thousand, but have only listened to any of them in my car when I borrow my wife’s Discman and tape adapter once a year or so.

5. Sometimes I think about how if I ever met one of my celebrity idols, I would act completely disinterested so that they would think I must be really cool and not easily impressed. That means Tom Petty would wanna hang out with ME, right?

Thanks for the post, Matt, and thanks to everyone for sharing. Good times.

Chestnuts roasted by Commander Awesome @ 06/19/2007 6:31 PM


I also imagine myself performing the songs I listen to. It’s alot of fun when I’m listening to say, The Beastie Boys, since I can just picture myself and two of my friends just jumping up and down on stage and spazzing out and whatnot. I’ve done this since 2000 with alot of bands. I refer to this as “Spacing Out/Zoning Out”. Apparently that’s not healthy. But BAH I say to that! BAH!

Sometimes I wonder if I’m stuck in the Matrix, or am a character in a Sims-like video game played by alien creatures. There are times in my life where things go the EXACT opposite I want it to go that I wonder if someone is doing that just to toy with me.

Speaking of which, I’m also an obsessive daydream planner. Details will change, but I’ve had the same ultimate goal since I was 8: become the next Matt Groening or Stan Lee.

All right, here’s some new ones:

1. I am absolutely, positively TERRIFIED of heights. I have panic attacks if I’m 30 feet high. And yet…I will go on roller coasters without hesitation! Swear to God. Put me at the top of the Empire State Building and I’ll freeze in fear. But put me on the Incredible Hulk Roller Coaster at Islands Of Adventure and I am in Heaven! Although, I will ONLY go on floorless coasters. I refuse to go on the traditional wooden roller coaster or any roller coaster with huge drops period due to my said fear of heights.

2. I have a RIDICOLOUSLY good memory. Like, I can remember what I ate for breakfest on September 7, 1998. Like that good. It’s helped me alot in school, and yet for some reason I cannot for the life of me figure out algebra and geometry. It’s the weirdest thing.

3. I will 8 times out of 10 watch a bad movie that I KNOW is bad over a good movie. Forget Casablanca! Give me Plan 9 From Outer Space any day of the week!

4. I still watch professional wrestling. Alot of people find that weird and unusual.

5. I always ALWAYS flush the toilet twice. Once to actually flush it. And again to get rid of any leftovers. I actually saw this on a Family Guy episode back in 2003 and I’ve been doing it ever since. I also always ALWAYS flush with the toilet seat down to prevent any toilet water getting onto the ceiling. I learned that from watching some news report back in 2004, I believe.

6. I find girls more sexy when they’re in their underwear or in a bikini then when they’re nude. This is why I’ve never been into porn that much. I think it has to do with leaving something to the imagination.

7. I’m not like this anymore, but when I was 7, I had an irrational fear of Will Smith, Matthew Lawerence, and John Leguazamo. Like, if I even saw a *picture* of them, I would freak the fuck out and cry like a baby. And to this day I have no idea why. None at all. It just happened and then it went away.

Chestnuts roasted by Steve E @ 06/19/2007 6:35 PM


You want to know what’s embarassing? I put down my age as 26 in my last post when I’m really 25.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 06/19/2007 6:50 PM


First of all, awesome survey. One of the best ever, I believe.

1) I’m terrified of heights, yet I love to fly on planes.

2) I cannot have a plastic bag crinkling around me, especially during sleep. Sometimes I have to take any bags to another room first.

3) I’m extremely handsy. I’ve been told I’m the ‘handsiest’ person alive. Fistpittingnork, I do the same thing during sleep. My hands are all over my gf, constantly. Everywhere. Surprisingly, she also used to suffer from trichotillomania. Weird, huh?

4) I’m a Nightmare on Elm Street/Freddy Krueger/Robert Englund freak. I think Robert is brilliant out of character. I used to be scared to death of ‘Nightmare on My Street’ by Fresh Prince and Jazzy Jeff when I was little.

5) I do the same thing as Nikki with making imaginary loops around driveways and such. If a driveway is coming up, I’ll shift my eyes to the other side of the road. If one is coming up on each side, I’ll quickly dash my glance between them. I thought I was the only person to ever do this.

And just to throw this out there, I have some weird phobia about people typing ‘by the by’ instead of ‘by the way’ — This happens incredibly often and it freaks me out. I can’t understand what makes it happen.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt(#2?) @ 06/19/2007 6:52 PM


1. I absolutely hate cheese or anything with even a slightly cheesy taste–even cheesecake. However, my favorite food is pizza.

2. I refuse to read any email or message that contains overuse and/or misuse of the ellipsis.

3. Peanut butter and jelly is a morning staple for me as well. Not just any sandwich, though. It has to be Smucker’s Natural Peanut Butter and Polaner All Fruit wrapped in a Flat-Out flatbread. I have eaten this every morning for over two years.

4. My typical iPod mix contains a bunch of chick music like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Avril Lavigne and, well, you get the picture. But I always make sure to throw in some death metal just to prove I’m not gay.

5. If someone is watching me brush my teeth, I feel compelled to pretend that the tootbrush is strangling me.

Chestnuts roasted by Jack Sparrow @ 06/19/2007 6:55 PM


Long-time lurker, first time poster!

1. I have a habit of memorizing things. Over the past couple years some of the things I’ve memorized have included the titles of every episode of Star Trek TOS, TNG and half of DS9, every chapter title of every Harry Potter book, and the head coaches of every division 1-A college football team. There are 119 teams. I have 215 movies and I’ve learned them all in alphabetical order.

2. I hate coffee, but I love the smell and I also love Arby’s Jamocha shakes.

3. When I get depressed, I like to do something that connects me with my childhood, whether it be watching an old tv show or movie, or just reading about things online. Incidentally, that is how i stumbled upon this website. And retrojunk.com.

4. I have to have complete collections of anything I buy. I bought “Batman & Robin” and “Blair Witch 2″ for this reason, even though they are terrible. This is also why I cannot collect comic books even though I love to read them; if I bought Hulk and Daredevil, by extension I would have the compulsion to buy Spider-Man and Iron Man and every other book published by Marvel. That would get expensive.

5. Another thing I’ll do when depressed is spend money, no matter how little I have. If I have $12 in my bank account, I will buy 1000 Wii Points. This is one reason I have no savings.

Chestnuts roasted by lunamus @ 06/19/2007 7:14 PM


After reading some of the newer posts, just wanted to add some things. I too am a GIANT wrestling fan, though I’ve never seen it as much of an odd thing, even though I am fully aware my love for it is way past obsession.

Another thing: my favorite movie of all-time? Mannequin. My boundless love for Mannequin also seems to have given me a sick fetish for Andrew McCarthy movies. I’ve seen most every movie he’s ever done, no matter how deep at the bottom of the barrel they might scrape. Not only that, I’ve actually enjoyed them too.

Oh, I’m also a Saved by the Bell freak too, who showed no shame purchasing all the seasons on DVD from the store the day they hit the shelves. That includes The College Years too. This means I’m more excited than a 22 year old guy should be about the Wedding In Las Vegas/Hawaiian Style movie DVD that comes out soon, allowing me to finally complete my SBTB collection.

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 06/19/2007 7:23 PM


Oh yeah, one quirk reminded my of one of mine.
When I was about 4, whenever I got an action figure, if it’s arms/head were/was twistable, whenever I did a 360 with their head, i reversed it, so that it was in the same position.

Chestnuts roasted by Ian @ 06/19/2007 7:23 PM


This has been really great. Thanks to everyone to participating, epsecially the lurkers. :) Feel free to join in the party more often. We’re simple folk here.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/19/2007 7:25 PM


Yeah, stick around peoples, fo’ shizzle.

6. I don’t know what is wrong with you people, but mayonnaise is the condiment equivalent of sex. I can eat Mayo, Sour Cream, Cream Cheese by the spoonful. I don’t need to front by putting them on something, I just eat them out of their containers with a spoon. It may have something to do with taster status. I’m a non-taster, and I bet all of you hater’s are super-tasters with a strong dislike of the umami, or texture of foods. Look it up, you might learn something.

7. I have a paralyzing fear of looking at a non-covered window when it’s dark outside. Every window in my house is completely covered at all times so in case I don’t get to check it before night falls, I won’t be shocked if I walk by and see the window.

Dear god yes. Someone will be looking at me, I swear to everything that is holy there is no way someone won’t be looking in at me. Board them up, I say!!!

8. DVD’s and CD’s have to be in alphabetical order and chronological order. So it goes by band name, and then the band will be by album release date..

Same for me, though in the past two years I’ve really just let them sit wherever they end up. I also have a stack of un-cased cds in the visor of my car.

9. I find girls more sexy when they’re in their underwear or in a bikini then when they’re nude.

I can roll with this, though I honestly have no problem with leaving nothing to the imagination, either. We’re getting into fetish territory now, so I think we shall refrain, eh?

10. Norbert, I’ve never had a door on my room. How does that grab ya?

Chestnuts roasted by K- @ 06/19/2007 8:15 PM


Don’t feel bad about the web stuff, Matt.

I like to think of a server as a 60s looking room full of chimps who are constantly plugging big chords into different outlets on a gigantic super-computer.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy Day @ 06/19/2007 8:19 PM


I always seem to get to the fun threads when they’re just winding down, dammit! Anyway, I like the challenge of coming up with the five STRANGEST things about me, since I have a lot to pick from. Here’s mine:

1. In general, I dislike movies. I wasn’t raised on movies, it would not take me long to name off every movie I ever watched as a child that didn’t involve Elvis. (My mom is an obsessive Elvis fan.) I avoid going to friends’ houses if they’re the types of people who pop in a movie when they’re bored, because chances are, I won’t like whatever movie they put on. I hate it when I tell people I haven’t seen a certain popular movie and they look at me like I’ve just said I kill puppies for fun. I do have certain movies I enjoy, but they’re quirky ones that tend to either be cult favorites or not popular at all. Also, I did see Fight Club, and I hated it.

2. I met several of my best friends on a Pokemon website, including one who is going to be my college roommate in the fall. (Incidentally, she also met her boyfriend at the same website.)

3. I have a fascination with AIDS. I don’t find it funny or anything (for some reason AIDS has become like, an internet meme now), I just think it’s interesting to learn about. I’ve never known anyone with HIV or AIDS so there’s little justification for caring about it a lot, but I do. I have no idea why.

4. I’m going to put all food quirks into one thing:
a) Peaches are absolutely horrific to me. Even the smell makes me want to barf, and I can’t stand other peach-esque flavors like apricot or mango, either. My mom says she ate peaches constantly while pregnant with me, so I am convinced this is somehow her fault.
b) When eating a meal, I must eat one entire food before moving on to the next. So like, I’ll eat all the mashed potatoes, then all the chicken, then all the green beans, etc.
c) My bread, or other bready good like biscuits, must be kept on a separate plate so that it doesn’t come even close to the juices of the other foods.

5. I’m a lesbian, yet I’m mostly interested in all aspects of gay male culture. My favorite bands have gay male lead singers, my favorite movies are mostly about drag queens, etc.

Bonus #6!
Whatever the general, mainstream consensus of most people is on any matter related to entertainment, I am usually of the opposite opinion. I don’t think the Simpsons has declined in quality, I don’t think Angelina Jolie is hot, I hate reality TV in all forms, I consistently like George Harrison’s songs better than the Lennon/McCartney ones, and when a new CD comes out by any band I like, I usually like the songs on the album that get the worst reviews. I could go on with examples for a long time, but you get the idea.

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 06/19/2007 8:26 PM


-I like holidays WAY TOO MUCH. I would put out halloween decorations in August if I could.
-I have a weird goal to only drink sodas out out glass bottles. They just taste better!
-I can almost quote the movie Tombstone from start to finish.
-Even though I am almost 21, whenever new action figure lines come out, I get excited.
-Charlie Brown specials are wonderful, I love the holiday ones.

Chestnuts roasted by Steven @ 06/19/2007 8:28 PM


Ok, I have more.

I, too, MUST have the door closed to the room when I go to sleep. It CANNOT be open.

I sleep on Flannel sheets all year long, in Texas.

Like many of you, I compulsively check my email, websites, etc. I’ve clicked the “Get mail” button three times while writing this post.

When I turn out the lights in the house at the end of the day, it has to be done in an exact sequence or else the whole world will end.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 06/19/2007 8:35 PM


Matt, if it makes you feel any better, a server basically is a gigantic external hard drive.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 06/19/2007 8:46 PM


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